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Transcript

#2207 Just F**king Start - Harps & Tiff · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: Tiffany an't called Craig Anthony Harper. What does it say
0:05
Speaker 1: on the other side of my screen as I just
0:07
Speaker 1: look up and away from my breakfast roll with the punches.
0:10
Speaker 1: Why does it say that?
0:11
Speaker 2: Because you're in my recording studio. So it's just a
0:15
Speaker 2: reminder of sometimes I'm boss Craig carp But that's all
0:18
Speaker 2: just saying you.
0:19
Speaker 1: Always I'm surrounded by women. It's been a big week
0:26
Speaker 1: or so. What about you? It's Wednesday, It's the fifth
0:28
Speaker 1: of the eighth, Wednesday morning, just before lunch. How are
0:33
Speaker 1: you going? What is new? What is good? What is bad?
0:37
Speaker 2: Not much as bad for me at the moment. Things
0:39
Speaker 2: are good. I'm busy, I'm focused, I've got good energy.
0:42
Speaker 2: I've come my blood test results, my irons backup, I've
0:45
Speaker 2: response responded to my iron supplements like a boss. I'm
0:49
Speaker 2: feeling good, you know, for the middle of winter, where
0:53
Speaker 2: I'm normally a little sad sack winging and moaning. I
0:58
Speaker 2: don't feel like that this year. I feel very good.
1:00
Speaker 1: Well, goodie gum drops. Maybe you're trying to or not trying.
1:04
Speaker 1: Maybe you're starting to figure out your yourself, and by yourself,
1:09
Speaker 1: I mean all of you. Your mind, your brain, your body,
1:12
Speaker 1: your bloods, your hormones, your your your gut, health, your
1:16
Speaker 1: training staff. Like what works for you in the gym
1:19
Speaker 1: outside of the gym, what works with you with sleep,
1:22
Speaker 1: with uptime, down, time, stress, calm. That's the process. That's
1:27
Speaker 1: what well, that's what this show is all about, is
1:30
Speaker 1: trying to help people figure out themselves so that we
1:34
Speaker 1: can build an operating system or whatever Craig Harper calls
1:39
Speaker 1: it a protocol whatever of looking after us and figuring
1:43
Speaker 1: out what works optimally for me versus everyone else and
1:48
Speaker 1: rather than you know, jumping on some kind of trend
1:51
Speaker 1: or momentum on insta but actually figuring out in real
1:55
Speaker 1: time experienceially what's going to work for us.
1:58
Speaker 2: And there's so many pieces to the part aware. Like
2:01
Speaker 2: I think though we tend to look for the thing
2:05
Speaker 2: and it's like it's either this or that, but I
2:08
Speaker 2: think it's been a case of multiple it's this and
2:13
Speaker 2: this and this and this. So you can't just pick
2:15
Speaker 2: something up and put it down. You pick it up,
2:18
Speaker 2: make a change, hold that change, and then move on
2:22
Speaker 2: to the next thing and try that too. It's such
2:25
Speaker 2: a science experiment.
2:27
Speaker 1: What it is, but it's also It's like, as I've
2:30
Speaker 1: said a hundred times, with more a thousand times, there's
2:33
Speaker 1: no one way, right. So we're trying to figure out
2:36
Speaker 1: every one of our listeners. Every person who listens to
2:39
Speaker 1: this chat has got different genetics, different biology, different we've
2:44
Speaker 1: all got the same Most of us have got the
2:45
Speaker 1: same bits. Women have got the same bits. Men have
2:48
Speaker 1: got the same bits. I'm just going to put an
2:49
Speaker 1: asterisk next to that, you know why. But in general terms,
2:53
Speaker 1: cutle of arms, cut of legs ahead of face, fucking
2:56
Speaker 1: you know, cut the kidneys a wang or the op that,
3:00
Speaker 1: you know, whatever your particular down there, you know, situation is,
3:05
Speaker 1: you know. But then beyond that the individuality of personality
3:10
Speaker 1: and genetics and likes and dislikes and physiological tolerances, and
3:16
Speaker 1: you know, that's that's the thing where we really where
3:21
Speaker 1: we start to become self aware, not just on an emotional, psychological,
3:27
Speaker 1: logical level, but also physiological, which brings me to today's topic.
3:32
Speaker 1: And one of the things I have been asked or told,
3:35
Speaker 1: I guess it's a comment more than a question. It's
3:39
Speaker 1: kind of both, is people go Honestly, I just don't
3:41
Speaker 1: know where to start. So I want to talk about
3:45
Speaker 1: the idea of starting versus not starting, and like and
3:52
Speaker 1: this seems this is funny. Somebody sent me a comment
3:57
Speaker 1: recently and it essentially said, you seem to talk about
4:04
Speaker 1: a lot of the same stuff, and if you're running
4:07
Speaker 1: out of stuff to say, why don't you just not
4:10
Speaker 1: do the podcast? Anyway? I actually thought about it and
4:15
Speaker 1: I went, am I and do I? And I thought,
4:20
Speaker 1: you know what that is? Obviously we talk about different
4:22
Speaker 1: things too when we interview different guests, but there is
4:26
Speaker 1: I'm putting up my hand, there is a lot of
4:28
Speaker 1: repetition about certain things, and we dissect the same thing
4:33
Speaker 1: in different ways. And we have many conversations about the
4:35
Speaker 1: mind and the brain and behavior and outcomes and potential
4:39
Speaker 1: and fulfilling one's potential and creating the life or the
4:43
Speaker 1: body or the health or the fucking relationship or the
4:46
Speaker 1: income or the career that we want. Right. But here's
4:51
Speaker 1: the thing. How many times do we need to hear
4:54
Speaker 1: a thing before we actually operationalize it? And then I
4:59
Speaker 1: was thinking this, this is a big link, big jump.
5:02
Speaker 1: But I was thinking about the Bible, just because there's
5:05
Speaker 1: some anyway we'll talk about it, but just in terms
5:09
Speaker 1: of the Bible as a concept, So what's the Bible?
5:11
Speaker 1: So it's a bunch of what they call books, or
5:14
Speaker 1: you'd almost think of them normally as chapters, but they're
5:17
Speaker 1: little books. Within this one book, there's sixty six books.
5:20
Speaker 1: There's Old Testament, New Testament, and Christians and others read
5:25
Speaker 1: the same words repeatedly for a lifetime, like there's no
5:29
Speaker 1: new words in there, right, because knowing something and applying something,
5:34
Speaker 1: Hearing something and applying something, Understanding something and applying to
5:38
Speaker 1: something are not the same. Knowing something isn't changed, Knowing
5:43
Speaker 1: something isn't getting a result. And the amount of times
5:46
Speaker 1: that I have had to hear a version of the
5:49
Speaker 1: same thing before it actually it took hold of me,
5:54
Speaker 1: or I took hold of it, and so I was
5:58
Speaker 1: feeling a bit bad and a bit guilty. And then
6:01
Speaker 1: I don't know who it was or what it was,
6:03
Speaker 1: but I had this moment where I looked back and
6:05
Speaker 1: I went, well, you're on your way to two and
6:08
Speaker 1: a half thousand episodes, and your show is about the
6:13
Speaker 1: human experience and human performance, and so you have been
6:18
Speaker 1: talking about the human experience and human performance for it
6:23
Speaker 1: might be nine years now, I'm not sure. Well, how
6:25
Speaker 1: the fuck can it not be repetitive? How the fuck?
6:29
Speaker 1: So to that person respectfully, it will continue to be
6:34
Speaker 1: repetitive in some way, shape or form, because guess what,
6:38
Speaker 1: we're not all doing it. Guess what, We're not all fixed.
6:40
Speaker 1: We're not all better neither were we all fucked up
6:44
Speaker 1: or broken, but we all including me. Even though I
6:47
Speaker 1: think I have reasonably good knowledge around this stuff, I
6:49
Speaker 1: am still a work in progress. And it's that overcoming that,
6:54
Speaker 1: whether it's cognitive or emotional, or behavioral or social speed
7:00
Speaker 1: hump or inertia, where we go like I think about
7:05
Speaker 1: this in my workshops I constantly, or my keynotes, I constantly,
7:11
Speaker 1: will you know we're talking about this stuff. I try
7:13
Speaker 1: and make it funny. I try and make a little
7:14
Speaker 1: bit like wow, so they go, oh, fuck, he's talking
7:18
Speaker 1: about me. That is me. I do that. Oh my god. Yes,
7:21
Speaker 1: I self sabotage. Yes, I do dumb shit to my
7:24
Speaker 1: body while also wanting my body to be healthier. Yes,
7:27
Speaker 1: I don't walk, my own talk and all of these things,
7:30
Speaker 1: which is all of us at some stage. And people
7:32
Speaker 1: nod their head and they raise their hand and they
7:35
Speaker 1: laugh at you know, the silliness of their own behavior,
7:39
Speaker 1: and they acknowledge that they need to change or things
7:42
Speaker 1: need to change. They identify their own self limiting behaviors
7:47
Speaker 1: and habits and thinking, and they say they're going to
7:50
Speaker 1: change because I ask them, I go, how many of
7:53
Speaker 1: you are going to change a behavior or one small
7:55
Speaker 1: thing or bigger as a result of this? And nearly
7:58
Speaker 1: everyone puts up their hand. But the truth is that
8:03
Speaker 1: if you have one hundred people, and I don't have data,
8:05
Speaker 1: but I do have kind of on the job data.
8:08
Speaker 1: I don't have, you know, research on the groups I've
8:11
Speaker 1: spoken to, per se, but I think I would be
8:16
Speaker 1: being complimentary if I said five people out of thee
8:22
Speaker 1: hundred went away and applied it and did it and
8:24
Speaker 1: changed and actually turned that theoretical thing into an operational
8:29
Speaker 1: thing and a real world result. And it's like, so
8:32
Speaker 1: this is my question, why when we know what to do,
8:36
Speaker 1: or at least maybe we know, you know, oh, I
8:38
Speaker 1: don't know where to start. Well, you want to lose
8:40
Speaker 1: weight or whatever? So maybe do you walk? Not really
8:43
Speaker 1: other than incidental call, well do you reckon? You could
8:46
Speaker 1: walk twenty minutes a day? I could, but then they
8:49
Speaker 1: don't be could you? I could? So, but they don't.
8:52
Speaker 1: But you want to lose weight, well, they do. You
8:54
Speaker 1: want to change your body composition? I do? You want
8:56
Speaker 1: to increase your health and fitness and well being, and
8:59
Speaker 1: you know I system, I do, and then they don't
9:03
Speaker 1: do it. And so for me it's like, I think,
9:08
Speaker 1: this is a real self reflection where why do we
9:12
Speaker 1: not do the things that we know that we should do?
9:15
Speaker 1: Why do we not actually start? And I don't mean bullshit.
9:19
Speaker 1: I started for three days and then I give up.
9:21
Speaker 1: That's not starting, that's just fucking around and kidding yourself.
9:25
Speaker 1: But where you actually fully commit to a process and
9:28
Speaker 1: you go, right, this is what I'm doing, and you
9:32
Speaker 1: spend a bit of time designing and refining and then
9:35
Speaker 1: implementing and then owning it. Where you go, I'm creating
9:39
Speaker 1: a new operating system based on how I want to be.
9:44
Speaker 1: It's not selfish, it's not obsessive, it's not weird. It's
9:49
Speaker 1: like just going, well, what I'm doing isn't working. So
9:55
Speaker 1: this part of my life going great, This part of
9:57
Speaker 1: my life all right, cool, But this part of my
9:59
Speaker 1: life well, this part of my reality or this part
10:02
Speaker 1: of my human experience does not work great. What might
10:06
Speaker 1: you do to start the wheels of change. It doesn't
10:10
Speaker 1: need to be an overnight inversion. But while I could
10:14
Speaker 1: do this, cool, do that? Ah, not a good time,
10:18
Speaker 1: you know, It's like we all need to be in
10:22
Speaker 1: the right place. So there's like I think I'll shut
10:26
Speaker 1: up after this. So I think some of the wise
10:29
Speaker 1: are starting something that is new or difficult or unfamiliar
10:36
Speaker 1: or is overwhelming for some people because they love the
10:44
Speaker 1: familiarity of their day to day, even though it might
10:48
Speaker 1: not be producing the results they want. They know it
10:51
Speaker 1: and they're kind of weirdly emotionally comfortable in it, even
10:56
Speaker 1: though physically they're doing themselves a disservice or financial or
11:00
Speaker 1: sociologically or professionally, but they're kind of familiar with it.
11:04
Speaker 1: So there's this story that you know, I will change.
11:08
Speaker 1: I want to change, and I'm going to start, but
11:10
Speaker 1: I'm not going to start now because it's not a
11:12
Speaker 1: good time. It's not this, it's not that. And we
11:15
Speaker 1: love certainty and we love predictability. And while we want
11:20
Speaker 1: the outcome, I want that new business, I want that shift,
11:24
Speaker 1: I want that higher salary, I want that better relationship,
11:29
Speaker 1: I want you know, fill in the blank. However, I
11:34
Speaker 1: am not willing to do the work to create the
11:38
Speaker 1: outcome because it's hard and I'm wired for easy, and
11:43
Speaker 1: that's going to forever be the problem for a lot
11:46
Speaker 1: of people until they are You know, this is not
11:51
Speaker 1: popular in fucking self help or personal development because everyone
11:55
Speaker 1: wants rah rah, everyone wants you're amazing, You're amazing. Guess what,
11:58
Speaker 1: We're not all fucking amazing. This need that we have
12:02
Speaker 1: to tell everyone how amazing they are. I do not
12:06
Speaker 1: understand it, because neither are people all dog shit, right,
12:10
Speaker 1: But sometimes I'm dog shit. Sometimes I'm amazing. Sometimes I
12:14
Speaker 1: do smart stuff. Sometimes I self sabotage. But this kind
12:18
Speaker 1: of emotion, emotional necessity to tell everyone how special and
12:24
Speaker 1: terrific and amazing they are, it is not helpful. It
12:29
Speaker 1: is not helpful because because it is not true when
12:34
Speaker 1: people are doing I'm not saying they're not untalented. I
12:37
Speaker 1: think people are more talented than they understand. But when
12:41
Speaker 1: I am consciously doing things and making choices that are counterproductive,
12:48
Speaker 1: if not damaging, if not fucking high risk to my
12:51
Speaker 1: potential and my health and my future, well that's not
12:55
Speaker 1: being amazing, that's not being fucking great. Let's just go
13:00
Speaker 1: Oh sometimes I'm a fuck with Is that what people
13:03
Speaker 1: want to hear? No? Is that popular? No? Do we
13:05
Speaker 1: want that on a poster? I do, No one else does, right,
13:08
Speaker 1: But it's fucking true. Sometimes I'm a fuck with the end.
13:13
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm ace, Sometimes I'm selfish, sometimes I'm generous and kind,
13:20
Speaker 1: But all the time I'm human, you know thoughts.
13:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm trying to think of what I'm trying to
13:28
Speaker 2: think of how to ask the question or explore the
13:31
Speaker 2: idea around what is it like? Yes, I know we
13:36
Speaker 2: say people want to avoid discomfort, we want to do
13:39
Speaker 2: what's familiar, but what what do you think it's in
13:42
Speaker 2: the way that we are just not conscious or aware
13:47
Speaker 2: of what are the things? Because I think if we
13:50
Speaker 2: have an understanding this is why I think having an
13:52
Speaker 2: understanding and a little bit of not the fluffy kind
13:57
Speaker 2: of self compassion that gives you the to just wheel
14:01
Speaker 2: out excuses and be like, I'm just being self compassionate,
14:04
Speaker 2: but the idea that I am a human being that's
14:07
Speaker 2: hardwired through fucking billions of years of evolution, and so
14:11
Speaker 2: there's part of that that dictates my behavior and my
14:14
Speaker 2: needs and what I'm drawn to. There's a whole bunch
14:17
Speaker 2: of stuff going on under the surface of my awareness
14:21
Speaker 2: and my knowledge. What do I where do I draw
14:24
Speaker 2: from that and get curious about that and what gets
14:28
Speaker 2: how does that affect my conscious decisions?
14:31
Speaker 1: Okay, great question, all right, and read the billions of
14:37
Speaker 1: years of evolutionary survival and what that did to our
14:41
Speaker 1: brain and our nervous system and the totality of us. Yes,
14:46
Speaker 1: you're exactly right, but also at the same time, Okay,
14:51
Speaker 1: so let's wake up. It's not twenty and twenty six.
14:55
Speaker 1: It's now fifteen twenty six. It's five hundred years ago.
15:00
Speaker 1: Tiff doesn't live in her fancy apartment with her cool
15:02
Speaker 1: car and a cool bloke and a cool motorbike and
15:05
Speaker 1: a fucking cat and dog, and she's got the interwebs,
15:08
Speaker 1: and she doesn't. Tiff lives in a shack near a river.
15:14
Speaker 1: She's got to grow or kill her own food. She
15:17
Speaker 1: has no option of There is no what we would
15:22
Speaker 1: understand as medicine or medical care. There are no hospitals
15:26
Speaker 1: as we understand them. There is no technology. You cannot
15:32
Speaker 1: contact anyone that's further than fucking three hundred feet away,
15:36
Speaker 1: you know, like this is the reality. So what did
15:39
Speaker 1: we do Oh, we just did that. We just went
15:42
Speaker 1: and killed animals. Sorry, everyone, that's what happened five hundred
15:46
Speaker 1: years ago. We went and caught fish, we grew crops,
15:49
Speaker 1: we ate the crops. We got sick, we died much earlier,
15:53
Speaker 1: or we found other ways to treat our illnesses, which
15:57
Speaker 1: we did with plants, etc. But when you wake up
16:01
Speaker 1: in fifteen hundred and twenty six, let's say the same
16:06
Speaker 1: you know the same person, genetically, physiologically, neurologically, all of
16:11
Speaker 1: those things. You have the same physical body and potential
16:15
Speaker 1: and brain. But now you're in a situation where you
16:18
Speaker 1: can't wait. You can't you can't go. I'm going to
16:21
Speaker 1: do this fucking rural, ancient, fucking barbaric lifestyle. But I'm
16:27
Speaker 1: not doing it now. Well you fuck you. You're in it now,
16:30
Speaker 1: You're doing it now. You can't wait till you're ready.
16:34
Speaker 1: You can't wait until you get coached by your psych
16:38
Speaker 1: for fucking three years. I'm not saying psych's are bad,
16:40
Speaker 1: right like you just go, oh, this is reality now,
16:46
Speaker 1: you know. When you know I've got a few people
16:51
Speaker 1: in my life, I won't bang on. Oh, maybe I'll
16:53
Speaker 1: talk about Joel Sarti, who I love. One day Joel
16:56
Speaker 1: woke up essentially and he's a quadriplegic, and he didn't
17:02
Speaker 1: he couldn't go. I'm not going to start the whole
17:04
Speaker 1: quadriplegia thing today. I'm not ready. Like it's cold buck
17:10
Speaker 1: and I've got a few things on. I'll start quadriplegia
17:14
Speaker 1: in January. I'll do it then. No, do you know
17:18
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. It's like when people have to change,
17:22
Speaker 1: have to there is no alternative. They're either going to
17:26
Speaker 1: change and adapt or they're going to die, either metaphorically
17:29
Speaker 1: or literally die. Most people adapt now. They adapt because
17:35
Speaker 1: they don't have or they believe they don't have a choice.
17:38
Speaker 1: Here's the thing I can go. I'm going to eat better,
17:42
Speaker 1: do better. Da da da da da. But I don't
17:44
Speaker 1: have to. I don't have to. I can get up
17:48
Speaker 1: tomorrow and go fuck what I said yesterday. I can
17:51
Speaker 1: get up tomorrow and go not today, tomorrow, and I
17:54
Speaker 1: can do that for thirteen years. So one of the
17:57
Speaker 1: challenges for us is we always have a get out
18:01
Speaker 1: of jail card because we have the option every day,
18:07
Speaker 1: whereas somebody like Joel or you know, I'll speak about
18:15
Speaker 1: this briefly people might have seen it on social media
18:18
Speaker 1: right by now, So where Wednesday, my dad passed away
18:22
Speaker 1: yesterday Tuesday, and so MM wakes up today. This is
18:27
Speaker 1: the first day of my mum's life for sixty six
18:30
Speaker 1: years where she doesn't have a husband. So my mum's
18:35
Speaker 1: life today is irreversibly changed forever. She cannot go, oh,
18:43
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a widow now, I'll start soon. No,
18:47
Speaker 1: there's no option, Mary. You're loved by us. We're going
18:51
Speaker 1: to support you. I'm going to do everything. Same with me.
18:54
Speaker 1: It's first day of my life. I haven't had a dad.
18:57
Speaker 1: So you go, oh, well, I need to compare or
19:00
Speaker 1: I need to deal with this now. I'm not talking
19:02
Speaker 1: about avoiding feelings or all the human emotional stuff at all,
19:07
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying there are certain things that happen
19:10
Speaker 1: in our lives that dictate, Oh, we need to do
19:13
Speaker 1: this now, We need to deal with this now, we
19:15
Speaker 1: need to acknowledge this now, because this is the new
19:18
Speaker 1: reality now. But when it comes to things that we
19:22
Speaker 1: should do or we know we should do, to change
19:26
Speaker 1: our operating system in our life and our reality forever,
19:30
Speaker 1: when you have got the option of not doing it,
19:34
Speaker 1: because not doing it is more comfortable, and that's also
19:37
Speaker 1: an available option. Most people are going to choose that,
19:41
Speaker 1: and this is where, you know where we go. Like
19:44
Speaker 1: last night, I got home very late, and one of
19:46
Speaker 1: my non negotiables is I've got to walk down thousand
19:50
Speaker 1: steps a day, and as you can imagine, yesterday was.
19:54
Speaker 1: It was a fascinating day. We'll call it that, and
19:57
Speaker 1: an exhausting doesn't even come close. I got home and
20:00
Speaker 1: it was like stupid o' clock. And then I realized
20:05
Speaker 1: a while later, oh, I hadn't done my steps for
20:07
Speaker 1: the day, and I went, I'll just go finish my
20:11
Speaker 1: ten thousand. I've got to do rock bottom ten And
20:13
Speaker 1: I could have not done it and the world wouldn't
20:14
Speaker 1: have ended. But I just thought, oh, well, you know
20:18
Speaker 1: what am I going to do. I'm either going to
20:20
Speaker 1: sit in a chair and watch a bit of TV,
20:22
Speaker 1: or I'll put on some headphones, listen to something interesting
20:24
Speaker 1: and I'll go walk for twenty minutes and that's my
20:27
Speaker 1: steps done. But there's no other than I can't do it,
20:31
Speaker 1: which if I can't do it on a day for
20:33
Speaker 1: some practical reason, I'm fine with that. But other than that,
20:39
Speaker 1: I go no this is not optional, This isn't optional.
20:43
Speaker 1: This is my normal, this is how I work. And
20:48
Speaker 1: then some people would perhaps call that obsessive. And I
20:52
Speaker 1: think they would call that obsessive because by their standard,
20:58
Speaker 1: that is obsessive. By my standard, that is normal and healthy.
21:02
Speaker 1: And that is me aligning my practice, my behavior, with
21:06
Speaker 1: what I claim to be about. If I spoke about
21:11
Speaker 1: all these things, but I lived the life that was
21:13
Speaker 1: oppositional or in conflict with the things I teach, then
21:16
Speaker 1: people could write, quite rightly, say you're a fucking fraud,
21:20
Speaker 1: and I would agree. But it's like, and this is
21:24
Speaker 1: the thing, how do you really want to live? Really?
21:28
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about how would you in some alternate
21:33
Speaker 1: reality if things were different and better and you were amazing?
21:36
Speaker 1: Now I'm talking about, now, how would you like to live?
21:39
Speaker 1: What would you like your habits to be? What would
21:42
Speaker 1: you like you know, all of these different facets of
21:45
Speaker 1: your reality, career, relationships, philanthropy, whatever it is. What do
21:50
Speaker 1: you want that to look like? Now? What do you
21:52
Speaker 1: need to do to make that real? Not just an idea? Okay,
21:56
Speaker 1: I need to do things cool, So shut the fuck
22:00
Speaker 1: up and do the things. Do them? Oh yeah, but
22:04
Speaker 1: now at the moment that you open the oh yeah,
22:06
Speaker 1: butt door, you're now scrambling for a reason to not
22:10
Speaker 1: do it, because that is what we do. It's not convenient.
22:14
Speaker 1: My back is sore, it's cold, it's winter, I'm busy,
22:17
Speaker 1: it's this, And then it's twenty twenty seven, and you
22:21
Speaker 1: have not changed because you have not embraced hard because
22:25
Speaker 1: you are hardwired for easy. This is the starting point,
22:31
Speaker 1: you know. And I think like the idea of you know,
22:37
Speaker 1: waiting until like people often say to me, I'm not prepared.
22:43
Speaker 1: Guess what. You can't prepare adequately for something that you
22:49
Speaker 1: don't know what you're getting into exactly, Like, you don't
22:51
Speaker 1: know what's required until you're in there. So the preparation
22:57
Speaker 1: and the skill development and the knowledge and the confidence
23:00
Speaker 1: and the competence that happens in it, you can't acquire
23:05
Speaker 1: all those things before you start, Like you can't grow
23:09
Speaker 1: and then start. You start and then grow in relation
23:14
Speaker 1: to that skill or that task or that objective. You know.
23:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, I also think that until you do start, you
23:22
Speaker 2: don't realize. This has been true for me a number
23:26
Speaker 2: of times. You don't realize how much you know. I've
23:30
Speaker 2: realized it again, recently. I remember a very memorable time
23:38
Speaker 2: I realized. It was when I first became when I
23:41
Speaker 2: started personal training and I was coaching boxing, and I'd
23:45
Speaker 2: had a number of fights, and I'd had a number
23:48
Speaker 2: of fights in the novice titles. And I came back
23:52
Speaker 2: to the gym that i'd done the corporate fights at
23:55
Speaker 2: and somebody I introduced to the Fight Fit Challenge asked
23:59
Speaker 2: me to be there, and the owner of the gym said, okay,
24:02
Speaker 2: Natalie signed up and she wants you to be her
24:04
Speaker 2: coach and trainer. And I went, oh, well, I can't.
24:09
Speaker 2: I can't train someone to fight. And I was so
24:13
Speaker 2: such imposter syndrome. And then the training started. I went
24:16
Speaker 2: to the first training session and I couldn't jump in
24:20
Speaker 2: quick enough with advice for everyone because I realized how
24:23
Speaker 2: much I knew. I was not a novice. I'd been
24:27
Speaker 2: fighting in a range of areas and I had so
24:30
Speaker 2: much experience that at that level they were at, I
24:33
Speaker 2: had so much to give and we don't until jumping
24:38
Speaker 2: in and going okay, yes, you don't know it.
24:42
Speaker 1: And also it's like, do I know a bit more
24:46
Speaker 1: than them? Good, well you're qualified? Are you standing in
24:49
Speaker 1: front of them? Going I'm the best coach, No you're not.
24:52
Speaker 1: Do I know the most? No, I do not. Will
24:55
Speaker 1: I be better in a year than I am now?
24:57
Speaker 1: Yes I will, But for right now, this is where
25:00
Speaker 1: we are and on the kind of knowledge scale in
25:04
Speaker 1: this space and experience, you're a two and I'm a six.
25:07
Speaker 1: So let's go with that. You know, you know, like
25:13
Speaker 1: we can't, like we have to start scared sometimes sometimes
25:21
Speaker 1: like start unprepared, start without the skill, start without the knowledge,
25:26
Speaker 1: start without the confidence. And you've got knowledge in this story,
25:29
Speaker 1: but like start in the middle of the fear. Because
25:35
Speaker 1: if I'm scared of something and I'm waiting till I'm
25:37
Speaker 1: not scared of that something before I go and do
25:40
Speaker 1: the something, I'll never do the something because I can't
25:43
Speaker 1: overcome the fear of the thing by avoiding the thing.
25:49
Speaker 1: My PhD was that my first business was that my
25:52
Speaker 1: first degree was that you know, it's like my first
25:59
Speaker 1: you know, like we've banged on about too much already,
26:01
Speaker 1: but my first hundreds and hundreds of podcasts were that
26:06
Speaker 1: where like I knew that I wasn't crushing it, but
26:09
Speaker 1: I knew I was getting better, and I'm like, well,
26:12
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not terrible, but I'm definitely not a
26:16
Speaker 1: superstar at this. But how do I get better? I
26:19
Speaker 1: will I get better by being humble, acknowledging my limitations,
26:25
Speaker 1: owning up, and going well. I can only get better
26:29
Speaker 1: by doing the thing that I am not currently excellent at. Like,
26:35
Speaker 1: so it's like, you know, if I wanted to go
26:39
Speaker 1: and do jiu jitsu, you and I are friends with Brad,
26:46
Speaker 1: shout out to the east Side jiu jitsu acaddomy if
26:50
Speaker 1: you're in Bayside and you want someone who has got
26:52
Speaker 1: a great environment and that is a flat out plug
26:56
Speaker 1: kids and families. But anyway, if I wanted to, let's
26:59
Speaker 1: say you were you've been a white belt for twelve months,
27:02
Speaker 1: and I can go and roll with you, But I've
27:05
Speaker 1: got Brad. I'm like, fuck off, TIF, I'm going with Brad.
27:08
Speaker 1: I'm going to go where. But could you teach me? Yes?
27:11
Speaker 1: You could, because you're you're a three and I'm a
27:13
Speaker 1: zero and Brad's a ten. But I want to grow where.
27:18
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I want to go where. I am the
27:21
Speaker 1: worst in the group. Yeah, I mean the dumbest, I'm
27:25
Speaker 1: the least skilled, I'm the least experienced. I want to
27:28
Speaker 1: go in that group because that's where I'll grow the most. Yeah,
27:32
Speaker 1: I could probably find a group where I'm the best. Well,
27:36
Speaker 1: you're not going to grow there. You go train with,
27:40
Speaker 1: or listen to or talk with, or study under or
27:44
Speaker 1: follow around people that are somewhere in the ballpark of
27:47
Speaker 1: masters at what they do. Just what's your your accelerated
27:53
Speaker 1: learning and skill development and all of those things? You know,
27:57
Speaker 1: But will you look like a dickhead and will you
27:59
Speaker 1: be fucking fiercely inadequate in the yes? So what Cool?
28:06
Speaker 1: I'm the worst in the room. Great, you know. Me
28:09
Speaker 1: going to a yoga class, which I've done four in
28:11
Speaker 1: my life, it's like, fucking hell, take photos of that
28:16
Speaker 1: bloke up there. It's like a ceramic TI with fucking
28:18
Speaker 1: cargo pants on. You know, it's just what But I
28:25
Speaker 1: go there knowing, Oh, I'm bad at this, they're good
28:27
Speaker 1: at this. Cool, This is how I get better. It
28:31
Speaker 1: probably should have done more than four classes, allegedly, but
28:34
Speaker 1: who knows.
28:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true icon, the ability to get comfortable
28:43
Speaker 2: and own where you're at in that Like for me,
28:47
Speaker 2: you know, when you're training people and you're some people
28:51
Speaker 2: you know way more than and then some people come
28:53
Speaker 2: into your world from a specific sports or background and
28:57
Speaker 2: they know more than you, and so to be able
28:59
Speaker 2: to into that I think is really important because you
29:02
Speaker 2: can learn from them. Of course, do I feel fortunate
29:06
Speaker 2: that I've always been very open with what I know
29:11
Speaker 2: and what I don't and comfortable in that space. But sometimes,
29:16
Speaker 2: you know, you do want to question yourself and go
29:18
Speaker 2: you should. There's party that wants to go you should.
29:21
Speaker 2: You should know more than this, You should, you should
29:24
Speaker 2: be the expert here, And it's like, well, I shouldn't.
29:26
Speaker 2: I've never played that sport. I actually have never come
29:28
Speaker 2: across someone that plays that sport, so I don't know
29:31
Speaker 2: how they need to train their body to optimize their
29:34
Speaker 2: abilities in it.
29:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I started working with what
29:43
Speaker 1: was then called the Melbourne Phoenix in the National League
29:45
Speaker 1: and then I work with the Melbourne Vixen's in the
29:47
Speaker 1: Trans Tasman League, and you know, here's a guy who's
29:54
Speaker 1: the head of conditioning for a national netball team who's
29:59
Speaker 1: never played made five seconds of netball. But I'm not
30:04
Speaker 1: the skills coach, I'm not the senior coach. Of course,
30:07
Speaker 1: I'm not a tactical coach. But I did need to
30:10
Speaker 1: understand what kind of physical attributes and netballer needs, you know,
30:18
Speaker 1: so I had to study the game, watch the game,
30:20
Speaker 1: watch tape, watch. I would have watched fifteen matches before
30:25
Speaker 1: the first training session I had with them because I
30:28
Speaker 1: wanted to see what they did on the court. You know,
30:31
Speaker 1: it's a combination of lateral movement and explosive power and
30:35
Speaker 1: vertical jump and you know, being able to bump into
30:39
Speaker 1: other bodies, like forget it's a non contact sport, fuck
30:42
Speaker 1: that it's full contact sport. And then you know, trying
30:46
Speaker 1: to understand all the physiological requirements before we even think
30:50
Speaker 1: about the skill stuff, because the skill stuff hain't my job.
30:53
Speaker 1: But at first I was you know, I was okay
30:58
Speaker 1: because I'd worked with lots of athletes, but it was
31:00
Speaker 1: probably a five. But then after working with athletes, with
31:04
Speaker 1: those athletes for probably eight years elite netballers, I knew, well,
31:10
Speaker 1: I probably didn't know everything, but I basically knew everything
31:14
Speaker 1: that I needed to know for that job without thinking,
31:18
Speaker 1: you know where, I just understood the requirements of a
31:22
Speaker 1: netball body and understood the game. So I could, you know,
31:26
Speaker 1: build a body or help build a body or coach
31:29
Speaker 1: a body into a state where it would last a
31:32
Speaker 1: game and it could run fast and jump high and
31:35
Speaker 1: have musculine aerobic endurance and all of that shit. But
31:38
Speaker 1: you start not knowing. There was one thing I wanted
31:41
Speaker 1: to talk about which you might be able to talk
31:43
Speaker 1: to as well about this the barrier to starting which
31:47
Speaker 1: I maybe don't talk about enough, and that is the
31:50
Speaker 1: fact that some people grow up an environment, in an
31:56
Speaker 1: environment where they are psychologically, sociologically, and emotionally negatively programmed.
32:04
Speaker 1: And by that I mean their upbringing and their experiences
32:08
Speaker 1: and their environment and their circumstances and their situations and
32:12
Speaker 1: their school and their parents and all those things have
32:16
Speaker 1: not been positive for them. And so you have this
32:21
Speaker 1: little creature that gets churned out of grade six into
32:25
Speaker 1: high school. Now they're twelve or thirteen, and they think
32:28
Speaker 1: they're a piece of shit and they're useless and they're unattractive,
32:30
Speaker 1: and they can't do anything because that's been reinforced through
32:34
Speaker 1: their formative years. Those people need some special love, right
32:39
Speaker 1: And so if I just described you one, I'm sending
32:44
Speaker 1: you some love and two and this is like everything
32:49
Speaker 1: easier said than done. But I want to encourage you
32:52
Speaker 1: to know that what you think of you, or what
32:56
Speaker 1: life has told you about you, or people or speriences
33:00
Speaker 1: have told you about you, is in no way, no
33:04
Speaker 1: way an accurate reflection of who you are and what
33:09
Speaker 1: you're capable of. Right So, and it's very hard to
33:14
Speaker 1: think optimistically, positively, critically independently when you have almost never
33:22
Speaker 1: been praised or supported or encouraged. So I have a
33:26
Speaker 1: special place in my heart for these people. And you know,
33:29
Speaker 1: you call people a piece of crap often enough by
33:32
Speaker 1: enough people, over enough time, and eventually people believe that
33:36
Speaker 1: about themselves. And you know that, I know that you
33:40
Speaker 1: know probably a hundred people who are that or a
33:43
Speaker 1: version of that, and that is maybe one of the
33:46
Speaker 1: biggest challenges to being able to step into this new
33:51
Speaker 1: version of us. And while this, you know, I'm not
33:57
Speaker 1: fixing anything at the moment, but I'm just sharing it
33:59
Speaker 1: a awareness that I've had, you know, because you know,
34:03
Speaker 1: I was a morbiley, obese kid. All of that stuff
34:05
Speaker 1: came last at everything, blah blah blah. Fortunately I was
34:08
Speaker 1: around nice people and good parents, right, but I had
34:12
Speaker 1: a lot of negative experiences related to my body and
34:16
Speaker 1: how I looked and all that stuff, but ultimately that
34:21
Speaker 1: informed me. But I got to the point where, fortunately
34:25
Speaker 1: for me, it was young, where I realized, ah, I
34:28
Speaker 1: don't need to be everything that they've told me I am.
34:33
Speaker 1: I'm not useless, after all. I could actually I could
34:37
Speaker 1: not just be not obese, but I could be fit
34:40
Speaker 1: and strong, and I could be a version of athletic
34:42
Speaker 1: because I do this work, and I could achieve much
34:47
Speaker 1: more than I thought or they led me to believe
34:50
Speaker 1: I could. And there's no self pity in there. There's
34:54
Speaker 1: just self awareness, and it's hard to overcome the programming
35:00
Speaker 1: and the beginning of wisdom in part is knowing where
35:04
Speaker 1: your programming ends. All that negative bullshit that is not true.
35:09
Speaker 1: It is not true, but it feels true. It feels
35:13
Speaker 1: true to know where that programming ends. And you start
35:17
Speaker 1: because you are not that and that is not you.
35:21
Speaker 1: And when you start to get a glimpse in the
35:23
Speaker 1: darkness of your historical bullshit, you start to get a
35:26
Speaker 1: glimmer of light. Oh, I feel like I should be
35:29
Speaker 1: on a pulpit right now, Brothers and sisters. Then like
35:34
Speaker 1: amazing shit happens where you go, oh, you know, no,
35:39
Speaker 1: I'm not the most talented person in the world. But fuck,
35:41
Speaker 1: I've got way more ability and capacity and talent and
35:45
Speaker 1: opportunity and hope. Wow. Wow, You know, part of our
35:52
Speaker 1: escape from the bullshit is dragging ourselves away from that
35:57
Speaker 1: toxic whatever it is. And sometimes that even means dragging
36:02
Speaker 1: yourself away from some members of your family. And people
36:08
Speaker 1: don't want to hear that, but hey, don't give a fuck,
36:10
Speaker 1: because it's just true. You know, hopefully not most of
36:14
Speaker 1: us who are listening, but not your whole family. Might
36:16
Speaker 1: be one member, or it might be a boss, or
36:19
Speaker 1: it might be an environment that you keep going back
36:22
Speaker 1: to where you know bad things happen in that environment,
36:24
Speaker 1: but you get kind of sucked in, could be boozed,
36:27
Speaker 1: could be drugs, could be other behavior that are self destructive, whatever,
36:31
Speaker 1: but that being able to genuinely have it an awakening
36:35
Speaker 1: and an awareness that you are more than your past,
36:38
Speaker 1: that your possibilities are not aligned necessarily with your history,
36:44
Speaker 1: Like who you can be is not determined by who
36:48
Speaker 1: you have been. So I think there's hope there for everyone.
36:53
Speaker 2: How consciously well, like when you were working on that
36:59
Speaker 2: yourself or experiencing or acknowledging or just aware of it,
37:03
Speaker 2: how conscious were your decisions on programming, on going this
37:09
Speaker 2: is like, how do I hard? Was it just behavior?
37:13
Speaker 2: Was it just repeatedly doing hard things? Or did you
37:16
Speaker 2: kind of have a plan and go, I need this,
37:18
Speaker 2: this and this.
37:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, not at all. I was a dumbass, like I
37:23
Speaker 1: had no strategic thinking. I didn't go, let me just
37:27
Speaker 1: weigh up all of my programming, consider what might not
37:30
Speaker 1: be true. You know, I'm fourteen, now I can figure
37:33
Speaker 1: this out. No. I just hated being fat and being
37:39
Speaker 1: that being part of my brand. For want of a
37:44
Speaker 1: better word, we didn't have brands. We were in fourteen
37:47
Speaker 1: when we were fourteen back in the day, but fourteen
37:49
Speaker 1: year olds have brands now. Anyway, my brand was a
37:52
Speaker 1: fat kid, right, That's not the brand I wanted, and
37:57
Speaker 1: so I didn't announce it to twenty one. I didn't
38:00
Speaker 1: do any research. I just started running, and you know that,
38:04
Speaker 1: I just I literally and it happened on one day.
38:09
Speaker 1: On one day, I made a decision. I went, I
38:11
Speaker 1: am running from today, and I went for run that day,
38:16
Speaker 1: and from the next day. I halved my food. So
38:19
Speaker 1: whatever I would normally eat, if I would eat eight
38:21
Speaker 1: week bigs for breakfast, I would eat four or six
38:24
Speaker 1: I'd eat three, but have two slid rolls or two
38:27
Speaker 1: pies it I'd have one. I wasn't necessarily eating great food.
38:31
Speaker 1: I was just eating half the food. And fifty cent
38:35
Speaker 1: reduction in calories is a pretty fucking good strategy when
38:38
Speaker 1: you're a morbally obese kid and you've got limited resources
38:41
Speaker 1: and knowledge and support and education. So I did that.
38:45
Speaker 1: I consumed less calories, I expended more calories. That was
38:50
Speaker 1: the extent of my science. And then obviously my body
38:55
Speaker 1: started to change quite drastically. But the growth in the
39:00
Speaker 1: awareness and the understanding came from the process. It didn't
39:05
Speaker 1: come before the process. It came during. Ah, Like my
39:10
Speaker 1: body was teaching me what was possible for me, you know,
39:14
Speaker 1: And I'm like, ah, you can look like you can
39:17
Speaker 1: do that. You can run, you can fucking run far.
39:21
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Boddy, we should have been doing this earlier.
39:25
Speaker 1: And I can run fast, and I can play football,
39:29
Speaker 1: and I can train harder than everyone. And I was,
39:32
Speaker 1: when I was, you know, sixteen seventeen, not a great
39:36
Speaker 1: but I was a decent school footballer and there were
39:41
Speaker 1: much better players than me who were naturally gifted. I
39:43
Speaker 1: was not, But I figured out I could offset their
39:46
Speaker 1: talent with work that they wouldn't do. And I did,
39:50
Speaker 1: you know, so I became okay, like not a bad
39:53
Speaker 1: football always getting picked, always in the team when people
39:56
Speaker 1: weren't in the all that. And for me, you know,
39:59
Speaker 1: in my microcosm of you know, good and bad and
40:03
Speaker 1: winning and losing, the one in my head it's like, oh,
40:06
Speaker 1: I'm winning, I'm doing good shit. But again, if I
40:10
Speaker 1: didn't start to run, if I didn't start to eat differently,
40:15
Speaker 1: And it's the starting point is just walking through the door. Really,
40:19
Speaker 1: it's the great shit that comes when you're doing the
40:22
Speaker 1: stuff where you go and once you're in it, I
40:25
Speaker 1: mean you're really in it. You're not You're not hanging
40:27
Speaker 1: on by your fingernails in it. In it now you go. Oh.
40:31
Speaker 1: Every person that I've ever asked who's made some big
40:35
Speaker 1: transition like this, they're like, I wish my only regret
40:39
Speaker 1: is I didn't do it sooner, because I now I
40:42
Speaker 1: know that I could have done this ten years ago.
40:45
Speaker 1: I could have. I just didn't. So I think I'll
40:50
Speaker 1: go on. No.
40:51
Speaker 2: I was just thinking about like the relationship with identity,
40:54
Speaker 2: and I think our identity is informed by our repeat
41:00
Speaker 2: behavior is both good and bad. So that's good and bad.
41:02
Speaker 2: There's always a tipping point. But if you just start
41:05
Speaker 2: a behavior and you repeat it, eventually that will be
41:10
Speaker 2: who you are. And you know, like I at that
41:13
Speaker 2: moment in time where I had to peel myself away
41:15
Speaker 2: from the boxer, I'm not just a boxer. Yeah, a
41:18
Speaker 2: box every day and I love it and I have
41:21
Speaker 2: a passion for it. I am more than a boxer.
41:24
Speaker 2: But it so if you could, I've repeatedly get up
41:26
Speaker 2: and make a change and do the thing. You know,
41:29
Speaker 2: So you went from I am a fat kid to
41:33
Speaker 2: I am an athlete and that's how I live. And
41:36
Speaker 2: then you look at your behavior and that and then
41:38
Speaker 2: you develop this new identity. It's a huge mindset piece.
41:42
Speaker 1: It's interesting because you do make a really valid point.
41:45
Speaker 1: One of the things about status or brand or reputation
41:49
Speaker 1: or whatever is we do that and we buy into that,
41:56
Speaker 1: and we pursue that for many reasons, but maybe the
42:01
Speaker 1: top reason is social status. How people see us. And
42:09
Speaker 1: you know, for you, a thing that elevated you in
42:13
Speaker 1: a way, Like I never thought I was an athlete ever,
42:18
Speaker 1: but I knew I could do athletic things. I knew
42:21
Speaker 1: I could because you know, to me, yeah, I did
42:24
Speaker 1: all the things, but I knew I wasn't an athlete.
42:26
Speaker 1: For me, an athlete is somebody who's a fucking real
42:29
Speaker 1: deal athlete. But could I train like a bodybuilder? Could
42:32
Speaker 1: I run? Could could I box? Could I do? Yeah?
42:35
Speaker 1: I could do all of those things a bit. But
42:39
Speaker 1: I've had the same struggle with you know, like for
42:43
Speaker 1: a long time, I had a quite a well, i
42:45
Speaker 1: would say, a very high profile in the fitness in
42:48
Speaker 1: this industry in Australia, and that gave me a lot
42:51
Speaker 1: of in that fish bowl of fitness, gave me a
42:54
Speaker 1: lot of attention and recognition and whatever, all of those things, approval,
43:02
Speaker 1: all things that insecure males like me are addicted to.
43:06
Speaker 1: But then one day you go, yeah, but this is
43:09
Speaker 1: my job. This is not me and it's not a
43:11
Speaker 1: bad job. And it's not bad that I'm good at it,
43:13
Speaker 1: and it's not bad that I get recognition for it.
43:17
Speaker 1: But the truth is, I'm also a brain. I'm also
43:20
Speaker 1: a mind. I'm also a creator. I'm also a son.
43:25
Speaker 1: I'm also a friend. Like why do I why am
43:28
Speaker 1: I more interested in what people think of me as
43:30
Speaker 1: a fucking trainer? Or a fitness industry pioneer Craig Harper, right,
43:36
Speaker 1: versus just Craig the bloke. What if I was shit
43:39
Speaker 1: at fitness but just a fucking great human being. Well
43:44
Speaker 1: many of us would go, oh, well, the second one's
43:47
Speaker 1: much better. But we don't behave like that because we
43:50
Speaker 1: want this. I want something to elevate me within the group.
43:55
Speaker 1: Because status, especially in twenty twenty six, even if it's
43:59
Speaker 1: status in a classroom at school or amongst a group
44:02
Speaker 1: of girls or a group of boys or whatever the setting.
44:06
Speaker 1: You know, we fucking love status. But it doesn't always
44:12
Speaker 1: it doesn't always pay off, you know, and it's yeah,
44:15
Speaker 1: knock yourself out, but you who you are is not
44:19
Speaker 1: a boxer. A boxer is what you're good at boxing
44:22
Speaker 1: and what you did. And you know, when you go, oh,
44:26
Speaker 1: down here, I get not much attention, not much love,
44:28
Speaker 1: not much approval. Now I'm doing this thing, I'm getting
44:30
Speaker 1: fucking heaps of it. Of course it's addictive, of course,
44:35
Speaker 1: I found it very when I sold my last or
44:38
Speaker 1: it got out of my last gym, which was twenty fourteen,
44:41
Speaker 1: so twelve years ago. Having worked in gyms or owning
44:45
Speaker 1: gym since I was eighteen, owning my first gym from
44:49
Speaker 1: twenty six, I completely felt fucking lost. I don't own
44:57
Speaker 1: a gym, I don't run a gym. I'm not training
45:00
Speaker 1: a team, I'm not working with Olympic athletes. All I
45:04
Speaker 1: wanted to undo, or all I wanted to do was
45:07
Speaker 1: undo it because I wanted to scramble back to my
45:10
Speaker 1: little comfort box. You know, It's like when I started UNI,
45:15
Speaker 1: all I wanted to do was get the fuck out
45:17
Speaker 1: because I don't belong here. I belong back there, where
45:20
Speaker 1: I've got a more status. People think I'm great back there,
45:24
Speaker 1: but over here, not only am I not special, I'm
45:27
Speaker 1: the fucking worst. I'm the worst in the room because
45:31
Speaker 1: I'm the oldest and I don't know how to use
45:33
Speaker 1: a computer. I'm talking about my first degree. Everyone, Well,
45:38
Speaker 1: I was thirty six when I started, But you think
45:40
Speaker 1: I was thirty six in two thousand, Well, you know,
45:45
Speaker 1: twenty six years ago, all the eighteen year olds were
45:48
Speaker 1: good with computers. The thirty six year olds were fucking
45:52
Speaker 1: Neanderthals with stones and chisels and fucking, you know, homing pigeons.
45:58
Speaker 1: So yeah, and so there's part of me, my ego,
46:02
Speaker 1: my insecurity, my fear that always wants to drag me
46:07
Speaker 1: to the place where I'm the best, but it isn't
46:11
Speaker 1: where I grow. So there's that part of me that
46:14
Speaker 1: wants to drag me to the room where I'm shit,
46:16
Speaker 1: because I know in this room I'm going to grow.
46:20
Speaker 1: And also, really, what does it matter, good or bad?
46:23
Speaker 1: What people think you like? It matters, But it's not
46:27
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to live my life a certain
46:29
Speaker 1: way because that will get more fucking likes or comments,
46:34
Speaker 1: be that real ones or kind of you know, interpersonal
46:38
Speaker 1: ones when you're out and about. All Right, I think
46:42
Speaker 1: we've done it. I think we've done it. What's one
46:45
Speaker 1: takeaway that you want to share with people? One revelation
46:50
Speaker 1: or one it started?
46:52
Speaker 2: Just go like, do something, do one thing, do one conversation,
46:58
Speaker 2: action whatever. Sometimes it common station is it I want? Oh,
47:01
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this to somebody?
47:06
Speaker 1: Yes, one hundred percent. I had, And she won't mind
47:11
Speaker 1: me saying this. And I've mentioned this once, but I
47:14
Speaker 1: did a retreat in Queens, not a retreat program, as
47:17
Speaker 1: you know. I think it was five weeks ago now,
47:20
Speaker 1: and I didn't speak to this lady the whole weekend,
47:24
Speaker 1: just worked out that way, there was twenty five people,
47:26
Speaker 1: but she wanted to ask questions. She didn't put her
47:29
Speaker 1: hand up, and she basically not in a bad way,
47:32
Speaker 1: but avoided me because I think she thought she might
47:35
Speaker 1: get emotional if she opened the door. Anyway, as we're leaving,
47:39
Speaker 1: I'm giving everyone a hug at the end of this weekend,
47:41
Speaker 1: and oh, you know who this person is. Of course. Anyway,
47:47
Speaker 1: so I said what I want you to do? And
47:49
Speaker 1: she said to me a few things about what she
47:52
Speaker 1: wanted to do. And we had one meeting, and I said,
47:57
Speaker 1: from the meeting, this is all I want you to do.
48:00
Speaker 1: This is such an easy start. Every day, at the
48:04
Speaker 1: end of the day, I want you to spend sixty
48:06
Speaker 1: seconds and send me a text. Here's my number, send
48:10
Speaker 1: me a text about what you've done today. In terms
48:14
Speaker 1: of the goals that we spoke about, what you've done.
48:17
Speaker 1: I will be your accountability partner. I will not ring you,
48:20
Speaker 1: I will not talk to you. I will spend two
48:25
Speaker 1: minutes of my day every day devoted to you. Right,
48:29
Speaker 1: And so she would send me an update and I
48:32
Speaker 1: would read it, I would acknowledge it. Sometimes I'd spend
48:34
Speaker 1: three or four minutes because I might give a little
48:36
Speaker 1: bit of advice, but generally it'd be like, I took
48:39
Speaker 1: this many steps, I trained my upper body, I prepped
48:44
Speaker 1: my meals for seven days. Who's just happens to be
48:46
Speaker 1: about physical stuff? And I would go, well done, your
48:51
Speaker 1: ace chat tomorrow, you know, or I might say think
48:54
Speaker 1: about that, think about that, or maybe try this, see
48:57
Speaker 1: how that goes the end. But even with that sixty
49:02
Speaker 1: second day commitment of hers, that's all I wanted to
49:07
Speaker 1: commit to, to commit to sixty one minute a day.
49:11
Speaker 1: And now she's on fire, and she's just fucking running
49:16
Speaker 1: and her body's changed, her thinking's changed, her moods, change
49:20
Speaker 1: her habits, her lifestyle. She's enrolled to do a certificate
49:27
Speaker 1: three and four did you know that? And she started
49:30
Speaker 1: yesterday right, There have been so many changes that have
49:35
Speaker 1: begun and are building and evolving with one little commitment,
49:40
Speaker 1: which was I will message Craig every day. At the
49:44
Speaker 1: end of the day, I will write two three four
49:47
Speaker 1: sentences the end. Now am I the difference? Of course not?
49:51
Speaker 1: Of course, not because I didn't do any of the work.
49:55
Speaker 1: But we got her mindset in a place where if
49:58
Speaker 1: initially she just does it because she feels bad, if
50:00
Speaker 1: she doesn't, I'm okay with that because now it's it's
50:07
Speaker 1: not totally locked in. But if she was zero and
50:11
Speaker 1: ten out of ten is totally locked in, this is
50:13
Speaker 1: her new operating system forever. I reckon. She's out of six,
50:17
Speaker 1: which is pretty fucking amazing. In thirty five days, you
50:21
Speaker 1: know she's on the way. But she started. She started,
50:25
Speaker 1: and she didn't start by going I'm going to do
50:27
Speaker 1: a full marathon tomorrow. She went, I'm going to do
50:30
Speaker 1: some stuff and then I'm going to send Craig a text.
50:33
Speaker 1: But the big commitment was sending big scary Craig Harper Tech. Yeah,
50:39
Speaker 1: you know, so all right, you're the best I'll see
50:44
Speaker 1: when I'm looking at you.
50:46
Speaker 2: Thanks Harper.
50:47
Speaker 1: See yup.