Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Rassie meets his match

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Rassie meets his match · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's Sombra Potential on KFM Mornings, 13 minutes after 8 o'clock.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: We got a prank from the archives. It's Throwback Thursday.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: That's coming up next. It's on.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Rassi Erasmus. Doctor. Doctor. You pranked the doctor? This was
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: before he was doctor. Yeah, Doctor Coach Johannes. Johannes. Is
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: it Johannes? Johannes Erasmus. And after everything that he's achieved,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I actually feel bad listening to it. Do you really, Darren? No,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I do. Okay, I'm really looking forward to this prank.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, there's certain people that are just untouchable.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: So if he'd achieved nothing, it would be fine? You'd
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: be fine with it? Yeah, it would be cool. Two
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: World Cups does that.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: A lot has changed since this prank.
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  Speaker 1: So we're going to park ourselves in that era. All right,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: it's on next. Okay, so again, when I listened back
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: to this, and I'd actually forgotten about this, and people
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: reminded me of this prank saying, hey, you know, for
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: your throwback Thursday, remember when you pranked Russie? And I
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: actually didn't even remember. I was like, have I pranked Russie?
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  Speaker 1: You forgot the Dr. Erasmus? Yeah, um, so... And I
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: honestly feel bad listening back to it. I'm like, no,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: not Rusty. You don't have to say that, Darren.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: Darren, I don't want to make enemies today.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: It's fine. It's like there's people. I will never prank
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: my mother, my wife. I would never have pranked Nelson Mandela.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: You know, Rossi Erasmus is now part of that elusive club,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: exclusive club. Rossi with that, I'm a deeps. Yeah.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Wow.
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  Speaker 4: I didn't know there was also a list of, you know, untouchables,
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: like unprankable people.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Because, you know, Rossi is just such a nice guy.
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  Speaker 1: Like if you've ever met him. He is just such
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: the most genuine, humble human being that you'll meet. And
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: that's exactly why he must be pranked. He's too pure.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: As an actual human, take rugby out of the equation,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: you know. Like, whenever I've seen Russie, and then there's
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: people around, he just invites random people to his house
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: for a bra.
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  Speaker 2: Really?
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  Speaker 1: And he lives just up the road from me, Russie.
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  Speaker 1: And there's always cars outside. And I'm thinking this is
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: just random Oaksies that have arrived for a bra. Come inside.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Come have a bra. Let's talk. Let's chat. So he's
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: like that. So now I'm going to take you back
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: to a time when Brian Habana was the global star
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: of rugby. Okay? The global star, the hottest property in rugby.
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  Speaker 1: Remember Brian also had that tag, the most highest paid
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: rugby player in the world. Was this around the 2007
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: World Cup? No, later. This is later, later. Much later.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: So Brian O'Banner started at the Lions and that's where
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I got to know Brian. He was just this new
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: guy out of school, been in the Lions Academy and
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: he's playing and this Oak was just pumping in the
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  Speaker 1: trials on the wing. Boom, boom, boom. You've got to
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  Speaker 1: watch this guy. And then he became huge and everybody
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: wanted him. Then he signed a contract with the Blue
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Bulls in 2005, which was a Harsh move because that's
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: just up the road from the Lions, right? And then
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: he spent four incredible years there. They won super rugby
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: tournaments and all that sort of stuff. Obviously, World Cup
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: and stuff too. 2010, big move, the big ticket. He
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: gets signed to Western Province Stormers. Whose coach at the time? Dr.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Rassi Erasmus. And as you know, which has been documented publicly,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: is that Brian's manager was his dad. Okay, Bernie. So
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Bernie's in on this prank with me, okay? And we
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: are phoning Rusty Erasmus. There was a little bit of
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: argy-bargy going back and forth here and there with this
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: big move. Brian's already been playing for a year at
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: the Stormers. Okay, at the point of this prank. So
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: this is like 2011.
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  Speaker 3: 2010.
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  Speaker 2: 2010, 2011.
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  Speaker 1: So here we go. I'm playing the part of the attorney,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: the actual attorney that handles Brian's contracts. Oh, serious? Yeah. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: so here we go. Hello? Hello, Mr. Erasmus. It's JP
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  Speaker 1: De Vries from De Vries Attorneys here, sir. I'm representing Mr.
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  Speaker 1: Bernard Habana.
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  Speaker 2: From where are you phoning?
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  Speaker 1: I'm phoning from Pretoria, sir. I'm representing Mr. Habana.
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  Speaker 2: What do you want to know about that, my friend?
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  Speaker 1: I've actually got Bernie Habana sitting in my office right now, sir.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: You've got who in the office, sir?
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  Speaker 1: I've got Bernie Habana sitting in my office, sir.
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  Speaker 2: So what's the problem now? What's wrong?
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  Speaker 1: You have been taking advantage of Mr. Habana.
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  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not quite sure what you're talking about, my friend.
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  Speaker 2: But I'm speaking in terms of Mr. Urbana, so he's
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  Speaker 2: more than welcome to give me a call if he
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  Speaker 2: wants to chat about that. I'm not sure what you're
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: referring to, but he's more than welcome to give me
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: a call. He's got my number.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Now, hold on. Is he sitting in my office? Just
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: hold on. Let me just have a quick conversation with him, sir.
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  Speaker 2: Is there any possibility that I can speak to him there?
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: You can. Just hold on. Let me just pass the
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  Speaker 1: phone to him. Mr. Urbana, here's the phone.
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  Speaker 2: Hello.
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  Speaker 5: Hello, Bernie. Yes.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, yes. How are you?
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: No, I believe that you reported in the paper and
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: you went on to KFM. I know it was in
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: the Cape Times of how unprofessional I was. And I've
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: just said to the lawyer, they must just take it
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: up and send the documents to yourself and the Western
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: Province Union.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Well, OK, it's a bit of a surprise to me.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not quite sure what it's about because it definitely
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: didn't come out of my mouth. But, OK, I accept that.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: That's the way you got us through. But, Shimon, it's
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: a bit of a surprise to me.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Mr. Banner, let me take you over from here. Well,
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  Speaker 1: there's certain aspects of the contract which they said you
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: have not kept to your side of the bargain. It
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: was initially a gentleman's handshake agreement. And now upon reading
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: the contract, which I have perused through myself, there's a
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: lot of things that are drastically different to what was discussed.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, my friend. I think we're going to tear it down.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I'm not really the person to go into those things.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: My job as a coach is to chat to the
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  Speaker 2: player and obviously his agent, who's in this case not
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: really his agent but his father, and we talk about
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: rugby and then after that it becomes an administrative thing
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: that has to be resolved and that happens between the
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  Speaker 2: various parties, which is in this case Mr. Dana and
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Rob Wagner.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Rob Wagner.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I think, listen, for me it's a little bit, Awkward
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  Speaker 2: of a situation. I'd like to chat to Mr. Habana
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: and Brian tomorrow, nice and in a calm way. And
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: also after I've spoken to my bosses. So, yeah, I think, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: for me, that's the situation.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Because one of the things in the contract which was
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: not stipulated here was that Brian, because he is Brian Habana,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: it's like Ronaldo coming to Real Madrid, all right? Brian
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: does not train on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Do they want that in the contract? Yeah, well, then
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Brian won't play on Saturdays as well. You know, it's
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: as easy as that. I mean, no, man, the guy's unbelievable.
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  Speaker 2: And he's like Ronaldo going to Madrid. I mean, he's
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: in the same league. But I mean, of course, now listen,
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  Speaker 2: I've chatted about all these.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Things, man.
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  Speaker 2: It's crazy the things that's going on.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: But also, also at halftime, sir, it's not stipulated here
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  Speaker 1: that Brian Habana will not eat Cape Oranges. He only
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: eats imported oranges from Spain.
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  Speaker 2: He doesn't... Come on, man, please. Who's speaking now?
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  Speaker 1: So, and all the players in the Western Province team
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  Speaker 1: need to address Brian Habana as Mr. Habana at all times. Hey, Mr. Habana,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: pass me the ball.
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  Speaker 2: But also, you have to tie his boots before he
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: runs out on the field. Brian doesn't tie his own boots. What?
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  Speaker 1: Brian Hibana, don't tie no boots.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, we'll get him slip-ons, but we'll get him slip-ons.
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  Speaker 2: He doesn't have to tie his boots. He can play
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: with slip-ons. I'll get my old backline slip-ons and bike
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: him play with slip-ons.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Listen, Russie. Yes. It's actually Wackhead with Bernie Hibana here.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: How you doing, sir?
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  Speaker 2: Go ahead, man.
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  Speaker 5: Russie.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But you can't play this, sir.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. Russie, how do you feel about the fact that
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: you have to tie Brian's boots?
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  Speaker 2: And And Russie.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Look what he went on to do, eh? And you
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: were part of that story.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: You know, I was actually recoiling listening to that. I
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  Speaker 1: was like, no, it is Russie. No, that was a
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  Speaker 1: good throwback.
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  Speaker 3: Eh?
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  Speaker 4: Eh? Amazing how he deals with people though And I
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: think The leadership is coming through strong Just 100% there
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: You can see Like there's no issue You can talk
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  Speaker 4: everything out Everything can be resolved Yeah I think like
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: when I look at it In terms of football And
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: you look at coaches like Mourinho, Jurgen Klopp They personality
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  Speaker 4: first They care about the players themselves first And then
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  Speaker 4: the business comes second He strikes me as like that sort.
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  Speaker 1: Of man Absolutely right Yeah And he still picks up
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: your calls, Darren? Still have a friendly relationship? Yeah. All
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: good neighbours. Russ is amazing. He really is. It's like,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: as I told you on our WhatsApp group in Mar,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: it's Russie Watch. Russ is running down the road. Because
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Rusty's walking his dog. He's going to be at number
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: three in like 30 seconds. Hello, Uncle Rusty. Hello, my boy.
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  Speaker 1: He greets everybody, every single person. What a man.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, yes, Rusty in his bucky. Did you see him today? Yes,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I saw Rusty in his bucky.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Thanks for the property prices going up, Rusty. It's One Republic,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Need Your Love. This is KFM Mornings. One Republic, Need
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Your Love on KFM Mornings. Got some messages here from
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: the prank this morning.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I had the privilege of chatting to Rossi about three
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: months ago. We were walking past Doodles and he was
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: sitting there just quietly.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Having a cup of coffee. And we walked up to him.
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  Speaker 1: We said, if you don't mind, I just want to
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: shake your hand and say good morning. We love what
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: you do. We love what you're about. And he promptly
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: just said.
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  Speaker 3: To us, listen, you and your wife, if you ever
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: see me and you don't stop to say hello, there's
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: going to be trouble. You always say hello to me.
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  Speaker 3: And that just epitomizes the type of man and the
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  Speaker 3: gentleman that he is. He is an absolute stalwart and
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: what a gentleman. We are so privileged to have him
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: as our Springbok coach.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: That's for sure. Yeah, you'll hear a million of those stories.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Amazing stuff. What a great man.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: Not once did he lose his temper.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: No, no, professional to the end. KFM Mornings with Darren, Sherlyn,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Sibs and you.