Latest / Toni, Jase & Sam - Breakfast Catchup / Consistency looks really messy with Peter Bristow

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Consistency looks really messy with Peter Bristow · Toni, Jase & Sam - Breakfast Catchup

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We Need To Talk, Tony Street's lifestyle and wellness podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Hello, welcome to We Need To Talk. It is lovely
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: to have you with us. Now, have you ever noticed
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: that when it comes to excelling at work, hitting business
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: milestones or taking care of your family, you're all over it,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: but that comes at a cost and that's your own
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: personal wellbeing. I have certainly felt that before. It's a
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: common problem where capable, high-achieving people struggle to start or
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: sustain the habits that support their own wellbeing because they're
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: so busy giving their energy and their time to everyone
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: and everything else. Peter Bristow is an executive wellness coach
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: helping leaders and high performers improve their energy, manage pressure
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: and perform sustainably. And he believes that you can, in fact,
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: have it all and we need to start reprioritising. Pete,
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  Speaker 2: it's great to have you with us today. How did
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: this start for you, first of all? Because you've got
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: a background in personal training, right?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Correct, yeah.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: And now this is sort of a slightly different avenue.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. And look, excited to be here and thanks
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: so much for having me on. Got into PT, I'll
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: go back to ground zero. Got into PT because I
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: didn't get into physio. I didn't have the grades to
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: get into physio. And I wasn't a good enough rugby
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: player to go to Otago on a scholarship. So I
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: ended up at AUT back in 99 and did my
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  Speaker 3: diploma there. And then started life as a PT. You'd
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: walk in. Basically, everyone wanted weight loss. You'd walk in.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: I'd get you half naked. We'd get the calipers out.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, how good is that to start?
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  Speaker 3: Like crazy, right? But that's what we did. And did
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: that and then realized, went through a journey and then
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: realized I was having these conversations on the gym floor
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: with people about the other things going on in their world.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: And sometimes, you know, whether that's work stress or just
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: simply being disorganized at home, all these other things that
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: were impacting their lives and And I realized at first
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: I was a bit torn because I'm like, geez, they're
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: here for a 45 minute exercise session and we're talking
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: for 20.
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  Speaker 2: It's like a counseling service.
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  Speaker 3: They're going to find me though. I had this like,
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  Speaker 3: they're going to find me like we should be training.
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  Speaker 3: So I said, I think we should break this up.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: We're here to exercise and a bit of chat, but
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: let's have a coaching session. So this is sort of
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: one of the first forks in the road for me
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: to end up here today because I realized that it's
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: actually all this other stuff that's getting in the way.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: of them actually exercising, eating better. It's these other stresses
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: that are impacting. So let's do some work on those.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: The second fork in the road, really, I had big
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: eight-week weight loss challenges years ago. People would come on.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I gave away $ 10, 000 prize money, big awards nights, jaw-dropping results.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: But it hit me when I realized that a lot
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: of the same people were coming back. And I'm like,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: I'm actually part of the problem. I'm just promoting diet culture,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: excessive exercise, Because people do a lot for 10 grand. Yes.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Like not eat much.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: And to get on those scales and taking off the jewellery.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, like it was extreme. So that was the second
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  Speaker 3: fork in the road. I was like, I can never
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: do that again because all we're doing is crowbarring these
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: crazy unsustainable habits into their lives. But they don't really
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: live for eight to 10 weeks. They just eat hardly
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: anything and train, right? Don't see their friends.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: It's like the biggest loser.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Show, right? And then the last one was really, you know,
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: close to home this one, but seeing the impact of,
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: an unsustainable, I guess, workload with my wife, Sarah. Like
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: that really, you know, that strikes close to the bone
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  Speaker 3: for me. But that was another thing I'm like, man,
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  Speaker 3: I need to shift this, you know, I need to
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: help that kind of person. So that was the, those
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: are the three forks in the road to end up
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: where I am today. And eight weeks ago, I stopped
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  Speaker 3: all of my PT, went all in. I had my
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: PT business and my coaching business. It's been doing the
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: coaching business for about five years. So that's where I
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: am today is working with those high achievers, that do
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: want it all, because I believe you can have it all,
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: but we have to get really clear on what does
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: it all mean? That's what, you know, start with that
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: conversation first, is what does that mean for them? And
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  Speaker 3: then I guess the decisions that they make flow from there.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about Sarah for a minute, because I know Sarah,
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  Speaker 2: who and I worked together at TVNZ. She was the
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  Speaker 2: executive producer of Breakfast TV. She was the head of
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: the newsroom at TV3. She's now with us here at NZME.
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  Speaker 2: How did you sort her out? How did you sort
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: your wife out?
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  Speaker 3: So really, I think it was starting with acknowledgement. It's
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: starting with acknowledgement that what we were doing, because we're
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: a team. That's a big thing for us is we're
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: a team. It wasn't just all on her. It was like,
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: we're a team is that it wasn't sustainable. So acknowledgement
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: of the situation and giving yourself the headspace to realise.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: So I think it's acknowledging it and then putting a
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: plan in place for change. And that obviously, you know,
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  Speaker 3: that can be anything. And, but one of the massive
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: takeaways I want people to have from today is that
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: like any change is better and we'll probably come back
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: and circle right back to that at the end. But
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  Speaker 3: any shift is better, any subtle shift and What can
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: you do in the next 24 to 48 hours as
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: a bit of a circuit breaker?
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  Speaker 2: Do you think that people that get themselves in that
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: overwhelmed state where they're exhausted all the time, they're trying
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: to give everything to work, to their partner, to their kids,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: get overwhelmed and think, oh, I can't get to the gym,
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  Speaker 2: I don't know, four times a week like I know
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  Speaker 2: I'm meant to. So then you just almost have that
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  Speaker 2: freeze mentality where you go, well, I can't do it,
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  Speaker 2: so I'm not doing anything.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. And even just what you said there, like I
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: should be at the gym four days a week. Like
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: I'm working, like a client call yesterday, very successful mum,
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: successful in business. And she said, you know, but I
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: should be doing it every day. I want to do
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: it every day. And I'm like, well, says who?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You know?
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  Speaker 2: And how are you going to do that every day
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  Speaker 2: if you want everything to be working well?
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And it comes, it all comes back to what,
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: what works for you right now in the season that
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: you're in. And when I'm working with clients, we break
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: it down to seven to 14 days. Because I'm sure
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: for you, every seven to 14 days can look quite different. Oh,
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: they do.
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  Speaker 2: And that's the problem, right? I can get there at
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: this time on this Tuesday, but next Tuesday I'm shot.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Totally. So it is really about rolling with the chaos.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: And I would rather people look back at a year
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: and maybe they've done 150 workouts three times a week.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: it's never going to look the same. It's just not.
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  Speaker 3: But that's hard to get their head around because A-types
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: want it to be all perfect. And I think often
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  Speaker 3: what I'm finding is people that are coming to me
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  Speaker 3: typically are late 30s, early 40s. They're really successful. They've
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: probably got some kids. They've probably got older parents that
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: they're starting to have to take care of. And you
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: can kind of smash yourself until you're mid-30s. Yeah.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Right?
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  Speaker 3: Whether that's partying and working hard and everything. And then
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: that's when it starts to show up. I often have
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: it's that 40s and they're like, man, I can't keep
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: doing this. And they're like, what am I going to do?
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  Speaker 3: So in their mind, they're like, well, I'll go back
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  Speaker 3: to the gym at 5 a.m. like I did when
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  Speaker 3: I was 25 with no kids and an okay job.
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  Speaker 3: And they're trying to fit this. into their life now,
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  Speaker 3: it doesn't fit. And, I mean, you'll know the answer
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  Speaker 3: to this, but what happens if an A-type sets a
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  Speaker 3: plan and they don't achieve it? Disaster zone. I'm useless.
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  Speaker 3: I can't do this.
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  Speaker 2: Failure.
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  Speaker 3: Failure, right? So, again, it comes back to you've just
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: told me you've been doing nothing for six months. You
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: just told me now you're going to go to the
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: gym five days a week at 5 a.m. Should we
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: go for three? And when's the best time to do that? Oh, actually, okay,
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  Speaker 3: maybe it's three walks at six. And often I get
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  Speaker 3: this like literally a physical like, yeah, I can do that.
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  Speaker 2: Someone's given me permission to just do three.
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  Speaker 3: Not five. Yeah. And again, we're just talking about the
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: next seven days here. You know, you told me what
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: the workload is, the family load. Let's just do that, hey?
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  Speaker 3: Plus potentially a couple of other wellness habits. And then
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: let's go from there.
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  Speaker 2: So what sort of symptoms or what sort of state
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  Speaker 2: are your clients in when they're in this overwhelmed, I
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: can't keep doing this mindset?
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  Speaker 3: I guess we could say various stages of burnout or
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: knowing that it's coming.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: It's different for everyone. So definitely the apathy, you know,
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  Speaker 3: they're just like, man, they're like, I know what I
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: should be doing, but I'm not doing it. And that
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: is eating them alive. Right. But again, that should be
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: doing is probably a two higher expectation. Um, energy for
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: the kids and family in the weekends get to set.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, quoting conversations I've had, I get to Saturday
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  Speaker 3: and I could just sit on the couch all day
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  Speaker 3: and my kids want to play with me and I
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: haven't got it. Like, which that does to a devoted parent,
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  Speaker 3: you know?
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  Speaker 2: Yep.
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  Speaker 3: So that apathy, they've lost that zest, that passion at work,
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  Speaker 3: going through the motions at work, those sorts of things.
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  Speaker 3: Not happy with their fitness, potentially not happy with aesthetically
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: how they look and how they feel, right? Those things
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: is what's showing up for people. Probably the number one,
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: it would be that energy, that first thing in the morning. Like,
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: I'm just, I feel tired all the time. Yeah, you're
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: just on that treadmill. Yeah, and I describe it like,
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: you're waking with your battery at 70%. That's how you're
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: starting the day.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Follow on Instagram at We Need to Talk with Tony Street.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Where do you start? Where do you start with someone
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: that they're going through the motions, they've got that apathy?
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Where do you begin helping them?
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: So first step is like, it's a bit like a
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: brain dump. There's vomit all over a page in a
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: coaching session. I want to get their background. I want
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: to know what they've tried in the past. I'm trying
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: to get inside their head to understand why, what they
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: think they should be doing, right? So because we need
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: to reframe that probably, so we shift their mindset. So
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: it's like, give me a story, give me a story.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: So I've got a series of questions to get that
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: information out of them. Then we like, then I literally,
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: obviously we're talking about these long-term goals of what they
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: want to have in six to 12 months. But then
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: we literally go out of the probably high achiever, the
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: 28 things they want to change in their wellness. I'm like, okay, Tony,
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: the next seven to 14 days, which two do you
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: think are going to have the biggest impact and which
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: two do you look at and be like, yeah, I
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: can do that. I need people to look at their
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: goals list and have a 7 to 8 out of
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: 10 confidence they're going to achieve it so you pick
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: a couple of things off that list that you know
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: are going to have an impact and I'm obviously supportive
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: of that because you know like these people know Right?
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: So I'm really trying to pry it out of them
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: because then they've got this buy-in. Oh, look, I need
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: to turn the TV off. I need to get to
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: sleep earlier. And that would be the number one thing.
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: Put my phone away. 100%. You know, like, let's get
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: a little bit more sleep. Okay, how do we do that?
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: We probably need to get devices off. We probably need
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: to have some sort of work curfew. And I get
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: that you have to work sometimes in the evening after
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: the kid's gone to bed. Like, I get it. But
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: we want that to be the exception, not the rule.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Why is it that... your typical client are people that
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: are high achievers. I'm guessing quite capable, quite smart individuals,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: and yet they can allow themselves to get in this
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  Speaker 2: sort of space where you'd think they're smart. How can
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: they not work it out? And I include myself in that.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's the mindset they're at. They're frustrated at themselves.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: What's wrong with me? Exactly. Why can't I do it?
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: It just comes back to capacity. And who's the person
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: we look after last? We choose to work and have
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: careers and chase these dreams and then we've got kids
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: and coaching and everything else. And then we just leave
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: ourselves to last. And I think it's also because what
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: I'm finding is that they tend to be the center
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: of a lot of their worlds. So they're the people
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: at work that most people come to. So they've got
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: to be up. I think people underestimate the capacity it
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: takes to be on a lot. So at their work,
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: people come to them all the time. At home, again,
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: like me, I coach, there tend to be people that
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: are involved in the community high achievers. They want to
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: have an impact on the world for the time that
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: they're here. So they just don't have the capacity. So
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: you just get home and you're like, I just don't
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: have the thought process. So sometimes it's just having someone
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: to talk to.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Get all this off their chest, what's going on in
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: their world, and then obviously going, okay, You've also told
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: me you want this. We need to make some change.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: Here it is. And let's get accountable to it. Let's
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: go away and let's attack that for seven to 14 days.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: And then we're going to get on the phone again
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: and I'm going to see how it went for you.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Do you think this coaching situation is becoming something that's
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: increasingly needed in the modern environment we're in? Or do
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: you think this has always been something that's existed? Or
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: is it the fact that we're trying to juggle more
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: these days? And I don't know, is it because we've
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: got the phone and the technology and we're constantly available
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: by everyone?
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it is. It is more needed now
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: just because of what you said, because of, you know,
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: the technology was going to save us all this time.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: But now we're just accessible all the time. And the other,
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: I guess, topic I'm really passionate about, especially with young kids,
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: is social media. And that is something that it's, I
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: would say 99.9% of clients, they're really successful people. Like, man,
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I've got to stop doom scrolling.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Like.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: And when we know that as adults, then it's like,
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: how are the kids supposed to manage it themselves? Yeah.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: So back to answering your question. Yes, I think that
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: life is extremely busy, that we are more available. Our
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: attention is drawn all the time and it is literally
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: at our fingertips all the time. So having that bit
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: of structure, that accountability to A, have that offload because
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: they tend to be the center of a lot of
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: their world and B, shifting that mindset from that all
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: or nothing. That's another massive, massive piece. Knowing that if
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: you're doing nothing and you do three 30-minute walks for
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: the next month, you're going to feel better. It's a start, right?
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: It's an absolute start.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Can you give us some more examples? So like you say,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: the three 30-minute walks. What other habits do you encourage
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: your clients to get involved in and to embrace?
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: The first thing I want to say is that anyone
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: out there that goes and makes some change, the most
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: important thing is that you notice the difference. And just
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: to sit there for a moment, client comes and they
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: go to bed a little bit earlier and they do
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: three 30-minute walks, right? They go to bed an hour earlier,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: 10.30 instead of 11.30, 12, and they do some walks.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: And then I am going, what's that done for you?
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: And obviously, typically, it's like, oh, I'm waking, feeling way
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: better in the morning and the exercise is great and
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: I haven't shadowed my kids as much and I feel
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: a bit more control in work. Whatever the impact is
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: for them, I want people to stop and don't just
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: brush that over and go, what's next? Like literally sit
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: there and I will sit in that space with clients
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: for sometimes 15 minutes and go, Tony, tell me what's that.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: What does that mean to you? What does it mean
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: that you don't yell at your kids as much? What
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: does it mean when you turn up to work and
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: you can have a better impact? Yes. What does that
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: really mean? Because if we really get into that, how
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: darn motivating is that to continue? So you've got to
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: spend time noticing how it impacts your life in a
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: positive way. what are some of the things you can do,
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: is start small. Again, most people I get in front
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: of will have a pretty good idea. So pick one
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: of those things on that list that you are confident
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: of achieving in the next 24 to 48 hours because
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: it's just starting. So we've talked about the walks and
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: why I use the exercise is that lace up your shoes,
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: walk out your front door for 10 minutes, walk home. Like,
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: Pretty much anyone can do that, like start small. Having
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: a bedtime curfew, like sleep is massive. So having some
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: sort of, it doesn't have to be a hard stop,
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: but some sort of routine in the evening where we're
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: getting off devices, we're having a bit of connection time
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: with our loved ones, those things that are going to
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: give you the best chance at setting up and having
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: a good night's sleep. Brain dump's another really big one,
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: so obviously getting things out of your mind. Whether you
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: do that at work before you leave the office.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: How do you mean, how do you do that, writing
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: it down?
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, look, I'm old school. I was doing some
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: prep for this and I've got pen and paper out. Yes.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: I do that too, to be fair. Yeah, I'm old school.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: So again, do you, whatever works for anyone. But I
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: think some sort of brain dump either before you leave
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: the office. I had a tradie pull up and do
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: it five minutes before getting home in his ute so
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: he could pull into the house and go in and
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: be a dad. Mm-hmm. you know, without his mind still
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: being at work. Some people do it the night before, sorry,
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: end of the day, at night, but some sort of
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: written brain dump is going to be amazing to help
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: you wake in the morning, have more clarity and step
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: into the house and be more present. Connection is another
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: massive one. And if you're super hectic, you might need
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: to be intentional about it. Date night, that can be
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: a cup of tea on the couch. It doesn't have
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: to be dinner and a movie, right? Cup of tea
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: on the couch without devices. How are you, honey? that
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: kind of stuff. How's your week going? I'm talking about 10,
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: 15 minutes. And then with the family, right? It's just
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: having some intentional connection. So we talked about connection. We've
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: talked about sleep. We've talked about some kind of exercise.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: Choose the path of least resistance. Don't try and set
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: up something with a friend and this and that. Do
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: that as well, but do something in the next 24
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: to 48 hours.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Of those things, do you find there's any one that
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: adds more value or one that people underestimate?
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Sleep.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: You need to rest. Yes, hustle's good, but you can't
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: perform at a high level for long periods of time
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: without getting the sleep that you need.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Back to We Need to Talk with Tony Street.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: It sounds like what you, the service that you're offering,
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It actually has quite a lot of crossover. with counselling
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: as well. This coaching, it's almost like a mixture of training, counselling,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: life coaching. And there seems to be a bit of
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: a gap, I think, between all these professionals where people
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: just need to be almost told from an outsider perspective,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: this is what it looks like to me and this
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: is how you can be helped. When people are in
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: such a state, they can't help themselves. Yeah.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. Because like I said, when we go back
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: to that first session, it's like, tell me about your story,
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: tell me where you're at. It takes half an hour
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: to an hour sometimes, right? And then I'm working from
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: a place of as much knowledge as they want to
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: share with me about their life and their story around wellness,
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: and then we can build that plan. And then, yeah,
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: sometimes we are going, hey, because things come up, right?
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: And if it's out of scope, I'm like, have you
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: considered therapy?
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: Or just like I would, hey, you said about this knee,
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: have you been to the physio? No.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Let's work on the brain as well.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: What sort of results do you get? Do any situations
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: stand out to you where you see that transformation in
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: a person?
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: All the time. Sometimes they're small. I guess recently a
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: big one I've had is a client who came to me.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: People come either at a point of this is not sustainable,
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: so let's do something now, or almost rock bottom sometimes,
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: like desperation. So I had a client who'd stopped his career,
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: had recently graduated as a chiro.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Started his business and literally had to stop. Like he
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: was broken. So he came to me in a place
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: of I've just, I'm now just, I'm not working. He's
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: working but not in a career.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: And wasn't exercising. Like till one, two in the morning,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: like list the bad habits, right? Came to me at
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: that point and we're only four months in and now
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: we're having conversations about relaunching his career. Like that is
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: a short space of time. That is amazing. It is
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: absolutely amazing. um so that one is probably the the
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: shortest quickest like transformation where he'll be we're now putting
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: in the framework to launch his career am i a
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: business coach no but i have got a lot of
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: contacts and i can be that accountability it's like well
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: hold on you need to go and call this person
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: this person this person have a conversation with the accountant
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: have you done it because when we take control of
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: our situation and send that email or pick up the
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: phone and take that next step it lifts our self
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: confidence right because we're taking action whenever we're taking action
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: another one is when a really high achieving client said
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: to me she said what you've taught me is that
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: consistency looks really messy, which I've used ad nauseum because
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: I think it re-relates, right? It's just like, to be consistent,
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: it's going to look really messy and you need to
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: be okay with that. So that's a mindset shift.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: It's be okay with that and even look at your
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: wellness plan as a 14 to 30 day plan where,
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: you know what, if I can get three somethings in
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: a week of 30 minutes, whether that's tennis, whether that's
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: a gym session, whether that's a walk, That's amazing. Alongside
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: the sleep.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Do you think that's hard for the type A personalities?
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Because consistency traditionally for a mind like that is I
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: get up at the same time and I go to
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: the gym and I do it four times a week.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: And I've fallen victim of that before. It's like, oh,
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: if I can't get there at that time, then I
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: just won't do it.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely. And I think that's been amplified by all
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: the social media and the alpha A type.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, right, the 4.30 club, right? Let's do
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: this hour morning routine in Like most of it is
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: just madness, to be honest, because the other layer we have, well,
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: I have talked about it, but it's got to be
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: really personalized to you and personalized to me and my
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: plan won't fit you and the next person and the
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: next person. So again, the type who's watching these things
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: is like, I'm going to try that. You may be
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: able to take some learnings from that, but make sure
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: they fit you. And that's again where that self-reflection comes
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: because maybe you try that 430 Club or a version
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: of something and you're like, what's the self-reflection? I'm actually
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: even more tired.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: Like this is not sustainable. I can't do this. Okay,
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: so take a couple of those principles, but fit them
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: into your life. So it's got to be really personalised.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: And that's where I guess you talked about having a
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: coach or having a mentor, having someone who's like being
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: able to have that, someone to, you know, sound that
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: off and not having to do it all in your
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: head because you're doing it 12 hours a day with
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: work and family. So having someone else to be able
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: to guide you on that is hugely valuable.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: It must be rewarding for you.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's the best in the world. Like I've been
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: a PT until like two months ago for like 25
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: odd years, right? And it was really hard. I've had
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: clients for 20 years, for 10 years, five years, a
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: lot of them. And it was really hard to say.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: That's not me anymore. Yeah.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Amazing to have an amazing team of trainers that they
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: are now working with. So that would have been so
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: hard to say, I'm stopping and here's some people you
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: could try. But I love it, you know. And I've always,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'll do some version of this forever. Because
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: it's so amazing to sit across from people and help
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: them relaunch a career. To say to me, man, I'm like,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: the weekends are way better with the kids now. To
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: be fitter, be stronger, be more confident. Whatever it is
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: for them around their exercise, their wellness, their sleep. I mean,
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: there's nothing better. Because you just show up in the
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: world a better person.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and your mental health, I assume, would be better too, right?
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Because no one wants to get into that state where
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: you feel like you're not enjoying parts of your life.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: No, no, exactly. It's still hard though, right? I don't
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: nail it all the time. Far from it. I've had
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: an ankle injury for a year and up until about
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: three years, months ago I'm the heaviest I've ever been
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: and it was really it's actually been good to go
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: through that because it was a slow slip yes Achilles
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: went didn't run twice a week that then sucked a
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: little bit of motivation from the other training that I
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: was doing everything slipped 20% it.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Shows you that it can be a cycle right.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: That's what I was like so sort of coming up
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: to a year in well this was eight months eight
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: months and a little while ago I'm like geez this
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: is what happens and then in three or four years
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm really unhealthy.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: And it's very, it's much harder to then come back
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: from that than if you just made those little adjustments
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: at the beginning.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: So it's been a, it's been a good reflection to go, well,
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: this is, this is what happens when, you know, you,
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: you five years later, you haven't done much and you're
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: in really bad shape physically and mentally. So, um, yeah, um,
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: that's been a good learning for me to, to go through.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: So I've been pretty blessed with being able to do
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: most things up until last year.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: Until now. Damn our killies, I've done that too.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: So if we had to leave today where someone's listening
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: to this and they're thinking, yeah, I ticked some of
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: those boxes. I'm struggling to get up. Maybe you've got
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: a bit of apathy towards your life, your work, not
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: giving as much time as you'd like to your loved ones.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: What would be your advice in terms of the next
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: step that they could take?
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, look, I would get the diary out. And even
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: if it's not for two or three weeks, I would
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: put in a 30-minute time slot where you actually get
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: those thoughts on paper. Get some of the stuff out
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: of your head on paper. I call that a brain dump.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: And then pick one or two things, one or two
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: actions that you think will make a bit of a
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: difference for you. So if it's the family, if it's,
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: you know, because once you start writing down, then other
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: things will rise up. Like what is it about? Is
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: it actually work or is it that you're not sleeping enough?
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: So then you will be able to build a little
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: bit of a plan from there and know that anything
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: is better than nothing. So pick a couple of actions
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: that you can do. And you can, you know, why
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: I say the two or three weeks time? Because people go, oh,
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: I can't fit it in this week. I'll look at
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: Monday and I'll see when I can fit it in. No, no,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: book it in next week now.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: Book that time in, make a date with yourself and
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: book that in. Have that time to actually think about it.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: And if you're going to start something now, before you
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: even have that conversation with yourself, then do something that
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: you know you can do in the next 24 to
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: 48 hours.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Whatever change that is, whether that's one of the things
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I've talked about or something else that's come up for them.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I like the 10 minute walk analogy.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Just put your shoes on. I had a coaching call.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: It was a couple. It was a Zoom call. And he,
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: husband and wife are sitting there. How's it going? He goes, mate,
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: I haven't been for one of my runs. And I
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: was like, go now. He's like, what do you mean?
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: I'm like, Well, just go now.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Put your shoes on and just go.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Go now. Do 30 minutes. I'll finish off with chatting
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: to your wife and then we'll have a quick catch up.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: And he's like, okay. He jumped up and came back.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: And I bumped into him at the rugby club four
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: years ago. He goes, mate, that was like, if you'd
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: just told me that for the money we spent with you,
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: that was worth it. He goes, I use that so
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: often now. He's like, you're there going, Ty, just go
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: for a run, mate.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Just go do it now.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: You've got 20 minutes. I mean, you said, oh, I
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: haven't got an hour left for the gym. Well, have
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: you got 20 minutes because the meeting went late or
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: just go for a walk? Yeah.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: And sometimes I can look at my schedule and think, oh, God,
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: there's too much on next week. I'm not going to
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: do it. And then a friend will say, oh, do
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: you want to go for a walk? And suddenly you
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: do find the time, you know?
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: So it's almost like someone else had to tell you, oh,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: it's okay. We're going to do it on this time.
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: We will. But if it's left up to you, you
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: don't do it.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I imagine you love people
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: and that's a big motivator for you.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: And that is something else too, is knowing what your
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: exercise vibe is. Like, where's your tribe? Absolutely. And if
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: you're someone that likes to do it with other people,
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: then let's use those relationships.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, I have this debate with Sam Wallace, my radio
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: co-host all the time, because he goes to have solitude.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: And I say, I don't want to go on my own.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I want to have the connection. That's where I get
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: both exercise and connection. And often that can be a
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: missing piece for people. But I understand the people that
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: want to just go for a jog on their own too.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Lone wolf.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. Again, and that all comes from just taking
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: a little bit of time and go, what does exercise
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: mean for me? And if it is that solitude, then yeah,
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: make that happen. That peace, that quiet.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Pete, if this has resonated for people today, how do
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: they get in touch with you?
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Probably the easiest place is on LinkedIn. Elevate Wellness Co,
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: Peter Bristow. Have a look on LinkedIn, that's the easiest way.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Or peter at elevatewellnessco.co.nz. Perfect. Send me an email.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for your time and love what
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: you're doing. Anything to help people in this crazy kind
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: of world we find ourselves in is so important.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. No, it's been awesome. Thanks so much.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to We Need to Talk. Contact us
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: on Instagram at we need to talk with Tony Street
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: or email we need to talk at coastonline.co.nz.