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S3 E4 - Falling Back · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast at Steve's mom's house.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Write us a review while you're there too.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you, Johnny.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: And normally in most shows, we immediately kick it off like, hey, how's it going?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I think we owe our audience, let's face it, Jeff, the millions.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think we owe our audience a little explanation of what's been happening and and maybe to help them through some of these these changes.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's good to be back here, good to be gearing up for the show again.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: And we we did not do a show last week.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because last week, last week something something happened, Jeff.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's the only way I can put it.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Something happened.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: We we fell back.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: We really fell back.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like we're living now in a different time.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: All I see is darkness.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: Worst of it is there's nothing we can do about it, really.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't know, you know.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: What happened last week puts us on a par with countries like Iran, Haiti, Cuba.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: It just it's it's I don't know.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: We needed to take some time and kind of recharge.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: How's it gone, Steve?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Other than that, I guess not great, huh?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Great, yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Other than that, it's been outstanding.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you know, it is is good to see you again, Jeff.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we didn't kind of didn't get together last week for the usual, but uh, did you it got your batteries recharged too?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: It looks like, huh?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I did, and so did Kathy.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: She's all all charged up.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: But I think you're right.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: To be honest, I can't put my finger on what it is.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what's different about it.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: It seems as though it was, you know, a normal week, and the only difference that I saw was that we didn't have an episode.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: But what about you?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have any any sense as to what might have been different?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was thinking that too, that maybe that feeling that things had gone horribly wrong and things were were in a a bad space was just because we didn't do a show and we're just so used to doing shows, and you know, shows are kind of what we what we do, you know.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I was thinking maybe that's it.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: But I you know, I don't know.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: I did I gotta admit, Jeff, you know, we had the week and I I I thought about the show, but I you know, I really I gotta admit, Jeff, I didn't I didn't think about you a whole lot last week, but yeah, but well, I I I take that back.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: I did because I remember I was in using the bathroom at home, and I remember thinking, wow, this is so much cleaner than the one at the studio, and it smells so much better.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I thought of but I but other than that, I really didn't think about you a lot.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, it's just this this heaviness, this darkness, and just this sense that things are going the wrong direction, things are bad, things are gonna get worse, maybe.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: Again, maybe because we didn't have an episode that we felt that responsibility because there were so many people that depend on us, that depend on listening to us every week, and maybe that was it.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it was just guilt, maybe that heaviness is guilt.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm I'm not sure.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Jeff, it might be because let's face it, Jeff, the millions that really depend on our show every week.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, they were lost, I'm sure.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: They who knows what they did last week, they could have done all kinds of crazy things.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have a sense as to what may have been different?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: Because I again I'm I'm lost.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like what when you look back, what has brought this on?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I really look very closely at last week because I thought, you know, maybe something happened that caused all this, other than us not doing a show.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because I that was my first thought as well, is because we didn't do a show.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: But so I I looked back last week, seemed pretty normal.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Shaw Shank Redemption was on TV again.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that show.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: I love that movie.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, great movie.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Keith Richards is is still alive.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Kathy's batteries are charged as as as you've reported.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Umly charged.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we really, at least Omaha and Chicago kind of dodged a bullet.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: We weren't hit by Hurricane Gomer, didn't pile into us, so to speak.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's good when they did their heads.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I did.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: I I guess I think you know, I find I think I finally got down to it because I looked at everything that happened last week, and I think what made the difference, what caused this darkness, is that we turned back our clocks, we fell back and went from daylight time to standard time.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: I I think you're right about that.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: I I didn't really think of that, but it's had a dramatic effect.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, my dog likes to eat at five o'clock or four o'clock every day, and she has been coming to me at three o'clock.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: Uh wanting to know, and I don't know.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: You know it's crazy, but I I I think you're right.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think you know, the the the fear was always the end of the world would be climate change, but maybe it's time change.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, maybe that's where we're at.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, because the time change makes you feel so disoriented and yeah, like nothing's right, and uh everything you see is weirder and dumber than the thing you just saw.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: It it's hard to keep track, it's like a machine gun of dumb.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: And and it just, I don't know, I don't know how to fix it.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh like Jeff, I I gotta tell you, I can't tell you how long, just with this heaviness.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: I can't tell you how long it took me to change the clock on my stove.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta tell you, in fact, my coffee maker, I never changed the time on it.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's still daylight time.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: It I decided my coffee maker, you know, I have a special relationship with a coffee maker, and I thought that coffee maker was telling me, look, I'll just sit out this next four months and just you know, I'll just pretend it's not happening and you wake me up when it's over.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: And are you drinking your coffee at night now as a result?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Or I mean it's dark.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's dark when I'm drinking it.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it is.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's really still dark, you know, and and just so the confusion that people have with that whole time change.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do they jump forward?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do they lean back?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a tuck and roll?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it just people don't know what to do.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: I I know we're sleeping a little later, and so I guess it's daylight, although I don't know why it needs to be daylight.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: I I read somewhere where the reason for the time change is so that the farmers can like do the crops in the morning in sunlight?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Who the fuck?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Who the fuck sees any farmers anymore?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: Are there is there even such a thing as a farmer?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm not I'm not even aware of one.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and does a corporate farm need an early sunrise?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Can't they just say, okay, you corporate farm employees, time to return to the office and just make them do it at night or whatever?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they got lights, what the heck, right?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I agree.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I haven't felt this way.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: I know we've had time changes before, right?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: But to be honest, I haven't felt this bad or this disoriented since 2016, November of 2016.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: You know, funny you should say that because I I remember that one vividly, and that was a very tough time change, but I think I I think this one's worse.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think it is worse.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're supposed to be funny, right?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: But it I don't know how funny it is that we're having deja vu all over again, as my my close friend Yogi Berra and drinking buddy Yogi Bea would have said.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I bet a lot of people in the country feel that way.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, maybe, hey, you know, though, maybe we're in the minority.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Who knows, right?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we should talk about our feelings and then maybe try to help people deal with theirs and and kind of see if we're maybe we're in the minority.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Who knows, right?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think we're certainly more in the minority than we've ever been.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I don't think there's any question about that.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_02: So uh, but maybe we should explore those feelings, and maybe that will be therapeutic, maybe that will help people feel better.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: It will most importantly help me and you, and will maybe help a few listeners.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's well worth spending all our time doing that.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the only thing I don't want to go negative here because the idea is to be more positive and uplifting, but this daylight savings stuff, I just think it's ridiculous, and I don't know why we do it, and it doesn't make any sense to me.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, doesn't it seem like we should just all agree on what the time should be, and that should be it, and it should always be that way.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you would think that that would make sense, you would think that's what we would do because it's so logical.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, why you know we're one country, and okay, granted, it's a long, it's a big country, so we're gonna be in different time zones.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: I understand it's got to do with sun.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I no, I I took it one or two science classes in my life.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: I do understand that it's gonna be several time zones, but you know, as far as changing the time twice a year, I mean, I don't know, they do that by states, and I don't I don't see why people in oh, I don't know, let's say South Dakota, small population, why should they per capita have a greater say on what time it is than the rest of us?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: I I agree that doesn't make sense.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'd combine North Dakota and South Dakota together, and I still don't think they should decide, you know, to have a bigger sh share of opinion that matters.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: I think at the end of the day, yeah, it should be whatever the majority of the people agree on, I think is what it should be.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: You put both Dakotas together, and the population is probably less than Rogers Park.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, maybe Rogers Park and Evanston, okay.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I mean, it's you know, but it's I mean, come on, it's like you know, it's like nothing from the national population, right?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure that we really even have a say anymore in what happens.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: I thought it seemed like we were getting better.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe the arc, you know, that old the arc of history, the arc of time, whatever, the arch nemesis, you know, whatever that thing is, you know, you know the saying, right?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: It bends toward justice or whatever.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, maybe it doesn't.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: How do we know it does?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think you're you're exactly right.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so, so how did it make you feel?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: I know for me it was an une uneasiness, you know, that things just weren't right.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't make sense to me.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: I couldn't figure out why we are where we are, and you know, it I even had thoughts that maybe the world was coming to an end, or I don't know.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: What what were you feeling?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta tell you, I when we were changing the clocks, yeah, I was over my mom's, you know, or and you know, we were having a couple of drinks, and so yeah, I couldn't tell at first if it was the vodka, but I started getting this sense that I thought I was watching something funny, and then I realized, no, wait, this is really happening, this is real.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just felt kind of like lunatics were taking over our clocks everywhere, and we're just deciding, hey, we're gonna break this clock, we're gonna take nine o'clock and make it 822 because we can't.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I what?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on here?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, I understand people want to sleep later, you know.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, who doesn't?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody does, but you know, can't you just I don't know, have a couple vodkas and fall asleep in the chair?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't that I mean I don't know, wouldn't that work for you?
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: I just I agree, and I and so then I think okay, we've had time changes before, and at the end of the day, those time changes have not affected me permanently, and I don't think it's gonna affect me permanently now.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think that sometimes we look at where we are and we say, Oh God, this has never happened, or you know, how are we gonna recover from being nine o'clock instead of eight o'clock, or or vice versa.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I think at the end of the day, the world is, you know, life is a long and winding road, and that there are ups and downs.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I think we're gonna recover from this, but it's it's been very hard for me to be positive about it.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: But I do believe it'll get better.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: I I think that some of the blame has to do with certain TV channels that tell us that it's midnight when it's really morning, or social media that tells us that it's a conspiracy and that you know there is no such thing as time.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that sometimes I looked up something that said that that we were waking up in Peori, Illinois.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: All of us were, and I don't have any idea what that means.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I do there.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I've done that many times.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, don't do that, don't do that.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no, no, no.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, though, Jeff, that is such wisdom that you just laid upon myself and the millions who are listening.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: That is such wisdom.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I was really getting carried away with how bad this whole thing was, but but you know, Jeff, you are right.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: You are so right.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think if we believe in our country and its people, I think we know that in a little while it's gonna be spring.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: We get to move the clocks back to the later hour, and then it's gonna be lighter in the morning, right?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's the other way, darker in the morning, like you know, it it'll be it'll be more normal, right?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just put that.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's about four months off.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think we as a country can do that, Jeff.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: We just have to believe in ourselves, believe in our clocks, and get that extra hour sleep.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Take care of yourself because you're gonna need it.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: And when you want to go for help, I don't recommend going to the television and trying to get your bearings that way out.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: I think I think the the place you go is here to us.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, too.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, to the Stephen Jepp show.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: We alone can provide the advice that people need.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: We alone can solve those problems.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: I agree, and maybe Claire, you might want to include her in there, although I don't know whether Claire's gonna head us in the right direction on that.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: Claire probably would do the right thing, at least as far as this time issue, but you know, I'm not sure I want to ask her what time it is, you know, because she uh, you know, I'm glad she's on our friend side because I wouldn't want her as an enemy.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: I asked her for the time one time, you know.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, because I I don't wear a watch and I didn't feel like reaching for my phone and I, you know, clock on the wall was was messed up, right?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like we were talking here, right?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: So she looked, she she has this like watch where the hands, you know, a hands on a watch, they're flat, right?
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Every watch you've ever had, the hands if it's a analog, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: The hand it's got hands, hands are flat.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, not hers, no.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: They're out at kind of like they're straight, we're not quite straight out, they're kind of like at a 45-degree angle upward.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she said she got the watch from Germany, so okay, maybe that explains things.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, it's a German watch, but I you know, it freaked me out a little bit seeing that, so I I kind of don't want to ask her again.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I agree.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't I don't want to I don't want to risk making her mad, too.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I don't know if this is come completely true, but I've heard that the one thing that will happen as a result of where this country is headed is that we're going to be switching over to Russian time.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I gotta and I gotta say that's an improvement because if maybe if we're I don't know about Russia, but if it's all the same time in Russia, then you know I'm kind of good with that.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know how that'll affect us joking about Putin if we're if we're now aligned with Russia, at least on time.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Funny thing, I I actually looked this up.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Russia used to have daylight saving time, and they used to switch back and forth.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: They decided a few years ago to stop switching.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's always it's always daylight time over there now.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: They took the extra hours.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there you go.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: See, it's gonna be a big adjustment, not making fun of Putin.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because we, you know, we have some good Putin jokes, and we got a bunch in the hacklog here that you know, or the joke writer, you know, he wrote us a bunch.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, there's I I'd hate to think of him going to waste, you know.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe between now and oh, I don't know, third week in January, we can empty the vault and kind of get them all out there.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what do you think?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's a great idea.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: I know the love affair with Putin is well on its way, and it sounds like that's what everybody is thinking now.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I we probably should be careful in the future.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: But do you do you have any of those jokes handy that we can start unloading them now?
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: I am so glad you asked that.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: I happen to have one right here, directly related actually to what we've been talking about.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's a joke, it's a Putin joke about time change.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean awesome, awesome, perfect here, here, here it is.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so one day Putin decreed that all the time zones in Russia be unified.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now, you know, it's like we were talking big US big country, Russia's even bigger east to west, so they got more, even more time zones, and you know, at the same time, that's uh that's that's gonna be wacky over there.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: So all the time zones unified, right?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: So after that occurred, as prime minister approached him and said, Dearest Putin, dear leader, see, they like they love to kiss up.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, some leaders, some leaders love toadies that will sell their souls and kiss up and do anything that the leader asks.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Now, luckily in the US, we don't have people like that.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, no, no, no, no.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Some countries are like, you know, Russia, Hungary.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, no, we're nothing like that.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: But but I digress.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so anyway, this prime minister is like you know, licking his boots, right?
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And says, uh, I have a problem.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: I call my relatives in the east to wish them good night, and they told me they were on the beach enjoying the sun.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, see, it's like ruthless, right?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: They called his family in Kalingrad to wish them a happy holiday, and they said the holiday was already over, right?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so then he calls Xi Jinping, you know, the guy in China, right?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And wish him a happy new year.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: Xi Jinping says, uh, it's still the old year.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: So Putin nods the great sympathizer.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he really cares about people.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: He does, he does, he cares so much about people.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, he nods his head sympathetically and says, you know, hey, I've had those problems too.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: I called Purgozin's family to offer them condolences, and it turns out we hadn't even killed him yet.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so there you go, right?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Now, so do you have a joke about Putin?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because I I think that was more information, wasn't it, than actually a joke?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: No, you see, the joke is that he called the guy that he hadn't killed because the time zone changed, and uh that's you know that is very funny.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, my old comedy coach said, Steve, if you have to explain it, it wasn't joking.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: Just give it up, okay?
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: Just yeah, don't so but well and I and we'll look back, we'll look back in January, you know, fondly of when we did tell these jokes and and realize that it probably wasn't in the country's best interest to do that.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: And and maybe, maybe we'll change the jokes, you know.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's the other thing.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: See, may doesn't have to be Putin, it could be like you know, Hunter Biden.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, there you go.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: He's the one that you know was gonna murder somebody because that kind of makes sense to me.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: I think that would play really well.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: And Jeff, I think changes like that and sensible changes like that, I really think we can make joking great again.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: I do too.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: I like the way you like the way you phrase that.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: I uh and I'm and I'm very excited, and and I I mean this sincerely, Steve.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: We were a little bit in the bubble for the last three or four weeks, and it is gonna be nice to get back to the joy of of pure comedy.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm looking forward to getting back to that.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: And just in case our our listeners aren't quite sure what we meant by this episode, just to clarify a little bit, when I when I was talking about Kathy being all charged up, I was talking about her vibrator.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh yeah, no, I knew that.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, but maybe just in case because and maybe you know, we are getting new listeners, they may not have known that of course, but yeah, I think the loyal listeners are gonna, oh yeah, that's Kathy's vibrator.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, that's what he's talking about.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so otherwise, I'm looking forward to next week.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think this has really helped us.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: I feel a breakthrough, a revelation, an epiphany, a discrepancy.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you know how we usually have Johnny give gifts to the guests, and we didn't have a guest tonight, of course, because you know what guest is gonna sit and talk about this with us, right?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Couldn't find anybody to do that, right?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, like Timex might be.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Timex, yeah, that would be somebody give away a Timex that would be.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, maybe in the spring when the time goes back, we can get Timex on.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, okay.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be no, but I was thinking, you know, I think maybe because we suffered and we had this week of darkness, and now we've kind of broken through, I think we deserve presents.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, Johnny, what do you have for us?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right, Steve?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: You and Jeff will be the lucky recipients of a fully paid four-year subscription to American Entropy magazine.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: You'll have a ringside seat for the intentional and systematic destruction of the country.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Thrilled to each new outrage in full color with interpretive reality TV stars to explain why we don't need a rule of law or elections.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: American Entropy, because all good things end.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: A service of the Y Company.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: And again, courtesy of the Y Company, you will receive an actual fragment of the United States Constitution, suitable for framing or freestyle, or you could do like they do in DC and just burn it down.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: A formerly living piece of history, yours from the good people on the only side at the Y Company.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: At least when that last, you'll get a 60-second tariff-free supermarket sweep of the Y Company's newest venture, the combined pharma fruit and appropriation station retail store.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now that Y owns everything, you can glide down the aisles and fill your cart with items without worrying about a tariff.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Certain conditions apply, full retail price will be charged, and a loyalty office required.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: All from your new friends at Y.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: We do everything poorly, but we now do everything.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a Cat Astocracy Production in association with Epophilia Media.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Put it to review what you did too.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is Johnny.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Steve's Mom, and I don't care what type it is, if it's study, if it's dark, whatever the time, we know how to make our own fun.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh stay.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: I better stock up on that important vodka before January.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye.