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We Lost Jesse · the Visual Historian - "A Photographer's Journey"

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, welcome back to the Visual Historian podcast.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's gonna be a little different today than usual.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's been a minute since I have uploaded a podcast because on October 1st uh we lost my father-in-law.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: And my wife's dad was one amazing soul.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, most people when you talk about your in-laws, you normally don't like your in-laws.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: At least that's as the song goes, right?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um I had the exact opposite love and respect for my father-in-law and my mother-in-law, um, John and Jesse.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh John is still here, but October 1st, we lost Jesse.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, very just unimaginable circumstance where he's literally healthy as an ox, rarely gets sick.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: He just went outside to uh work on his garden that he loves to do, and um the good lord just unplugged him and he laid down in the grass and went to sleep.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the shock part of that was the simple fact that uh he was the strong one, man.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: He he was definitely stronger than most of us put together.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: You should see his his backyard is so immaculate, and how much um attention and hours that he puts into his his uh his garden and his yard work, you know.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And for 84 years old, he was he was just mind-blowing that he just left us.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: That just quit.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Good for him, good for him.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Literally uh he was he was just doing what he what he loves, and next minute he's he's literally just gone.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: So even though it was a shock for us, um for so many people, just a complete shock, if I had a way to go, that's how I would want to do it.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I want it done.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Take me quick, Lord.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So at the time of me uh recording this podcast, it's uh October 10th, he left us on the first.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been a very difficult nine days to say the least.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've never had to plan a funeral before, there's uh so many people helping us um do everything plan.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, good lord.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh my wife Elizabeth and her two brothers, David and Brian, uh, and their wives, and we just with with all of us working on what to do and how to do it, and it it it takes it takes a whole crew, man.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: It really does.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: So if any of you have um lost anybody and had to do this solo, wow, I I don't know how you can do this.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I really don't, but Jesse was one positive guy, and I don't mean like happy, happy, joy, joy.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: He's always just giddy.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Even though he had his days where he was like that, it was just so infectious.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: It was kind of like sometimes you're having a bad day, you know, and you're like, Jesse, I just want to be angry, and you're twisting everything into the let's find the good side in things.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, let's not, let's just be angry for a little while, you know.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that was Jesse, but his life was in front of so many people.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he has eight grandkids.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody he was he's such a positive guy, and and he's always put a positive spin on things.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, the grandkids nicknamed him Positive Pops.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I told him back in 2002.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Good lord.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um I told I told him a ways back.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, man, you need to do a blog.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: You need to do this.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So Jesse did the work.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what he taught his grandkids.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um he wakes up and he would write in his gratitude journal.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's the first thing he would do.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Before he even got out of bed, he would write in his journal about the things he is thankful for and just starting off fresh, you know, starting off thankful.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then from there he would read from the Daily Word, which is um you are a religious like a little short story kind of inspiration thing to kind of get you going.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And from there, you know, you go to the kitchen and you make your coffee.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he gave all of us, even the grandkids, all the adults too, uh, a calendar that you would tear off the page every morning, and it would be a a fresh saying for the day.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like a positive thing.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Today you are full of energy, everything you do is gonna be a ripple effect on the world.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am powerful.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like that kind of start of your day.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if that wasn't enough, in the beginning of the year, once we ring in the new year, he would always create a dream board which would be displayed in his office.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if we've never done a dream board before, which ninety-nine percent of people I talk to don't.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, uh I've known the man for 27 years, and even I don't have one, man, and and that's that's a shame.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because he has so many life references on the good that comes from doing these things.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he was always affirming things into his life, and it's amazing.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So the dream board, um say it's like a let my 14 size frame, and you would uh, you know, find uh clippings, maybe go to Google, find images or wherever it is, and print it, and you would put it on there, and he would have so many things on there, whether it's goals or what the dream board is really meant for, is affirming things into your life that you don't have.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's your dreams, you know.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they're just goals that just seem a little bit harder than usual.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Put them on the board, man.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And he had so many things from family to paying off debt to a trip that he didn't think was gonna happen.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, just uh a handful of things, and I'll be darned, man.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um at the end of the year, so many things on that darn dream board came true.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, some of those things were goals, I get it.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: But uh having that picture up, having this framed that you did the work, and these things are important to you.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: When he was in that room, he could read it and he knew what his goals were, he knew what he was affirming, he was saying it out loud every day.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: The man made things happen.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: The man showed us how to do all these things, and I can't explain to you the effect he has had on so many people.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I have uh I have said this many times.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know he was my father-in-law, but honestly, he was more uh friend and mentor for me when I have when I have hard days.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um I just need a little guidance.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I could go go to Jesse's house, they live like a mile away, and uh just let it out, you know, whatever day I was having, whatever issue I was dealing with.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And he loved to talk about business, he loved to talk about um r theology, uh philosophy, you name it.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I could talk to him about every you know, Joe Rogan kind of podcast on you know, past civilizations and where we've come from from here and there.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yet he was a spiritual guy, you know, according read his Bible.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um and John did marriage encounters when they were younger.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: They they've earned so many friendships and relationships from from doing all that.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry for my frog in my throat here.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's just early in the morning.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um I just want to be real with you today because when you lose somebody, the hard part is all of your normal everyday routine goes away.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the shock of the simple fact that he was not here anymore, just dropped and nobody he wasn't sick.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't anything.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean he was he had blood blood pressure pills.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's about it, you know?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um so most likely it was a blood clot or maybe a massive heart attack.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: We honestly don't know.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but he uh his birthday was the following week.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So he missed 85 by a few days, and it's just wild.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: But when it's your time, it's your time.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens when you lose somebody immediate like that?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: When you lose somebody uh quick like that, or just just even if they are sick and you see them going down and when that day comes, I think the the worst part is that immediate realization that everything that was normal to you is not normal anymore.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't I don't I can't go swing by his house and have that conversation.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: The next time I'm having um a business issue with whatever it is, I I don't have that conversation anymore.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, it's like th th those things are gone.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: My my wife lost her father.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, come on.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Losing losing your parents is m it's gotta be I haven't lost my parents yet.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: They're still here.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, Sharon and George.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um You know, not that you take people for granted, it's just we get so used to life, the daily routine of life.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we all have routines.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when you wake up, when you go to bed, um a lot of things in between, but when you wake up, I need my coffee, I'm gonna go on my three-mile walk, I'm gonna do my emails, like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: But when people are in your life and they're close to you, when that just goes away, it's just it's it's a hole that can't be filled, and it's a new world you don't want to face.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just the truth.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So um there were so many positive things, not to use the word over and over again, but um the man knew how to lead through actions, you know, and that's what I'm passing on to you today.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not just about mourning somebody.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, here in New Orleans we have uh little thing called a second line.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And uh the second part of the line is i i it's part of life.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we uh if if you've ever seen it on TV, usually with a second line, when somebody dies and they're in the casket and his horse is pulling the the um the casket on wheels.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I'm losing my train of thought here.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's a brass band and they're playing slow melancholy kind of music.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: So you walk slow behind the casket, behind the deceased.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's a celebration of life.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: But as you're walking, let's just say you're walking six blocks to where you're wherever you're going, wherever your next wherever the ending point is.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Usually it's at the cemetery, you know.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's not always.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: But the first uh half of the parade, basically, when you're following the casket, everybody's mourning the person that's gone.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now when you get to the other half, it turns into happy, joyous brass music and people are dancing in the street.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because we believe in celebrating the life.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: You mourn and then you celebrate, and we continue.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's great to do both.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: You need your time to mourn, but after you get it out, after you process it and you've you know you've done that part with your family and your friends, then it's your job to celebrate the life and you continue those things that that this person affected you in a positive way, and you go do it for other people, and that's how you keep their memory alive.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So here in the Orleans, we celebrate life, we are proud to mourn, we are proud to dance in the street because it's work.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Life is work, man.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it is.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: But when you do the work and you get uh you get the kind of results that uh Jesse did, um it's amazing.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: You should have seen the amount of people that turned up, um, but so many people from from every from business associations uh that he had, um family and friends.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's just un it's unbelievable.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: So my band we we wrote a song called C D Effect.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually one of my favorite songs, and I have it queued up on my board over here, and I'm like, you know, I'm gonna close out the podcast with the song.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I want you to hear the whole thing.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just um, you know, can you see the effect that you're having on me?
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: However, the song applies to you, it works.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love this song.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm playing drums.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Ray Rehage is on guitar, buddy Davis singing, Danny Hack on keyboards and bass and backup vocals, all of us.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's amazing what happens when you um can write something together, and the amount of passion that goes into writing a song when you're all on the same page, it's phenomenal.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: It really is, and it's just impactful.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just one of my favorite songs.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just gonna leave you today.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I'm not crying.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um my voice is just deep right now.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Dry, I guess.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta go get you some more coffee.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, more uplifting, positive the visual historian podcast will be to to follow.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: But today, um, we're not mourning Jesse.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're celebrating his life.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I know you've lost people in the past, they've had an effect on you, and I'm sure you still carry it.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: So somebody told me a long time ago, when you think of those people, like I lost my grandma when I was 13, her name was Alma.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, every once in a while I'll still talk to Alma.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I am 54 years old, and I still talk to my grandma like she's right there.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um I just do.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I have sadly several friends that I have lost in my life that I still talk to.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: But somebody told me if you're thinking of them, their essence, their spirit is with you.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Acknowledge them out loud.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to them, you know, make it real.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you keep the memory alive.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta say it out loud.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I do, man.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have a good friend of mine I lost from um back in right after high school.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: I still talk to him, dude.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: He was a fellow drummer like me in the band.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, great guy.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: And uh to this day I still miss him, but I still talk about him.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that essence of who he was and how we were together in that youth stage of life.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let it go, dude.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, uh not to get too deep here, but this is my band Ambush, and this is uh see the effect.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Can recognize this more abundant for the way things used to be the endless search for what's been lost, pressing onward no matter the cost.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: Is it too late to turn back time?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_02: Or to this future do we resign?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: How can this be?