Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Do the Thing You've Been Avoiding (S5) S33:E5 Wednesday

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Do the Thing You've Been Avoiding (S5) S33:E5 Wednesday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
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Without any further ado guys, let's kick this
1:38
show off.
1:39
So ladies and gentlemen, stop waiting for your
1:41
life to change, stop waiting for your life
1:45
to change.
1:47
I think that's an important thing for us
1:49
to understand.
1:51
And it's series five, show 33.
1:53
Do the thing you've been avoiding.
1:56
Series five, show 33, episode number five, that
1:59
is today's granular topic.
2:02
It's Wednesday, it is August 12th, 2026.
2:06
Welcome to Inspirations for Your Life.
2:09
Who am I?
2:09
Great question.
2:10
I'm John C.
2:12
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
2:17
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student at
2:23
Montclair State University, a passionate lifelong learner, and
2:28
now so grateful to be a published author.
2:33
There is probably something in your life right
2:36
now that you know you need to handle.
2:39
Maybe it's a conversation you don't want to
2:41
have, a message you haven't opened, a phone
2:45
call you've postponed, or a project that keeps
2:48
getting moved to tomorrow.
2:52
The interesting thing about avoidance is that it
2:56
rarely makes something disappear.
2:58
Usually it makes it heavier.
3:01
Today we're going to stop carrying that unnecessary
3:05
weight and talk about 30 ways to finally
3:09
face what you've been avoiding.
3:12
Number one, avoidance, it makes things heavier.
3:17
The task may take 20 minutes, but avoiding
3:19
it can occupy your mind's time 20 days.
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The longer something sits there, the larger it
3:28
can feel and heavier.
3:30
Number two, name what you're avoiding, name it,
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be specific.
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Don't just say you're stressed, ask yourself what
3:40
you know you need to handle, but continue
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postponing, name it, and it gives you something
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concrete to address.
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Face the uncomfortable conversation.
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Some conversations are difficult, but avoiding them often
3:56
creates more tension.
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Prepare yourself, remain respectful, and say what genuinely
4:04
needs to be said.
4:06
Number four, open the message you've ignored.
4:11
Okay?
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Sometimes the unopened message becomes more frightening in
4:17
your imagination than it actually is.
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Open it, read it, see the facts, and
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determine what needs to happen next.
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Number five, make the call.
4:29
You know the one, stop rehearsing it repeatedly
4:33
in your head.
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People do this so many times, right?
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Pick up the phone, hello, and allow the
4:43
actual conversation to replace the imaginary one that's
4:49
in your head.
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Number six, begin difficult projects.
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I know a lot of you're saying, oh,
4:56
John, you don't know my situation.
5:01
Don't wait until you feel excited about it.
5:05
Open the document, organize the materials, create the
5:09
first section, or complete the first small task.
5:13
Number seven, stop feeding dread.
5:16
Every time you repeatedly imagine how terrible something
5:21
will be, you're feeding the emotion attached to
5:25
it.
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Focus on what you actually can control, okay,
5:31
and what you'll do instead of worrying.
5:34
Number eight, handle small problems early.
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A lot of people don't do this, and
5:38
they're like, oh, my gosh, what am I
5:40
supposed to do?
5:40
The problem isn't doing, isn't resolving itself.
5:43
Well, no, it's not resolving itself.
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But are you focused on that problem like
5:48
24-7, or are you thinking about something
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else?
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I think that's an important thing for us
5:53
to be aware of right now.
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A small issue handled today can prevent a
5:59
major problem tomorrow.
6:02
Address things while they're still manageable, whenever possible,
6:06
that is.
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Number nine, don't let fear manage your schedule.
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If fear constantly determines what gets postponed, eventually,
6:16
your calendar begins reflecting your fears instead of
6:20
your priorities.
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Number 10, give discomfort a deadline.
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I bet you never heard that one before.
6:28
Tell yourself when you're going to handle it.
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That's a different thing, right?
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A deadline turns an uncomfortable intention into a
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specific commitment that your mind and body is
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going to get done, okay?
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I think that's a very important thing, and
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I think that's really cool to realize that.
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Let's dive into number 11, shall we?
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Start with just five minutes.
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We all have five minutes, right?
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Five minutes can break enormous resistance.
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Tell yourself you're only committing to five minutes,
7:09
and see what happens once you've actually started.
7:14
Number 12, break intimidating tasks apart.
7:19
Sometimes, you're not avoiding the task.
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You're avoiding the size of the task.
7:25
Break it into smaller pieces and focus only
7:28
on the next task.
7:31
Some people I know, they rush the task
7:33
because they think if they rush it, they
7:36
won't have to deal with it again, but
7:37
really, you know what's going to happen?
7:38
They're going to have to deal with it
7:39
over and over and over again, and I
7:41
think that's a very big problem.
7:44
You're going to have to keep struggling with
7:47
that because you're going to keep getting the
7:49
lesson shown to you over and over again.
7:52
Let's learn the lesson correctly the first time,
7:54
or it's going to keep repeating.
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Universe will keep repeating it until you learn
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it.
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You probably heard that before.
8:00
Number 13, stop imagining the worst.
8:03
We do it.
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That's what's going to happen, so stop imagining
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it.
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Your mind can create an entire disaster before
8:09
anything has even happened.
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Don't automatically treat the worst possible outcome as
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the most likely one.
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When we change our perspective, we become more
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positive.
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Okay, that's important.
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Deal with reality instead, number 14.
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Reality gives you facts.
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Fear gives you predictions.
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Find out what's actually happening and make decisions
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based on what?
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On that information, not other information, not information
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you supposedly extrapolate into your brain, information that's
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not even real.
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I think that's a problem for a lot
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of people.
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They get hung up on a story and
9:01
they make it worse than what it is,
9:03
and they sabotage themselves.
9:06
Number 15, finish the lingering task.
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You know those tasks that remain almost finished
9:14
for weeks.
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Sometimes the greatest relief comes from finally closing
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the loop.
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Yeah, the loop.
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Number 16, clear your mental backlog.
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That's why it's good to take a rest.
9:28
It's good to actually breathe, really, really good
9:32
to breathe, okay?
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That's a very important thing for us to
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understand.
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Clear your mental backlog.
9:40
Unfinished responsibilities consume mental space.
9:44
Every item you complete gives some of that
9:47
attention back to you, and you deserve that
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attention.
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We want to preserve your energy because when
9:55
we preserve your energy, you can use it
10:00
for things that are going to help you
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become a better version of yourself.
10:04
Number 17, I ask you to please confront
10:09
what keeps returning.
10:11
If you don't bother to learn the lesson,
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the universe is going to say, hey, wait
10:14
a minute, you haven't learned the lesson.
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We're going to keep showing it to you
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over and over and over and over again
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because you have not learned the lesson yet.
10:23
If the same issue keeps coming back into
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your thoughts, there may be a reason for
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it.
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Stop repeatedly pushing it away and determine what
10:33
needs to be addressed.
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It's not meant to scare you.
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It's meant to teach you a lesson, right?
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It's meant to teach you an important lesson.
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Number 18, please stop carrying unfinished business.
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What do I mean by this?
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Well, unfinished business can follow you everywhere.
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Handle what you reasonably can so yesterday's responsibilities
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don't continually invade today.
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Number 19, difficult doesn't mean dangerous.
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It means uncomfortable.
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Discomfort and danger aren't the same thing, guys.
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A difficult conversation, challenging task, or uncertain decision
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can feel uncomfortable without actually threatening you.
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But people put themselves into these fake Pandora's
11:46
boxes.
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And although they're fake and they don't exist,
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your mind believes them because your imagination creates
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your reality.
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What we think about, right, Nightingale-Conant, we
12:01
bring about.
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Our thoughts create our reality.
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That's not some superficial nonsense.
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That is truth backed by science for many,
12:11
many years, right?
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A lot of people think it's nonsense when
12:20
it really isn't nonsense.
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I think that's a very important thing to
12:27
understand, okay?
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Very important thing for us to understand.
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So what I can tell you is that
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your thoughts create your reality, hands down.
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Number 20, make discomfort temporary.
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That's all it is.
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Discomfort is something you go through temporarily.
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It's not something that's going to stay with
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you forever, right?
13:00
If you fall and you, let's say, cause
13:05
your leg to get scraped or knee, it's
13:08
a little discomforting.
13:10
But what we've learned later on is that
13:13
it does actually go somewhere.
13:23
Pretty cool, right?
13:33
How does that work?
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I think it works by us realizing what's
13:43
happening and knowing that our thoughts create things.
13:52
Everything in this world, okay, including this computer,
13:57
lights, everything, started with a single thought.
14:05
A thought that caused an inspiration, an inspiration
14:08
that caused me or someone else to take
14:11
deliberate action to make that thought become a
14:15
reality.
14:18
Avoidance can turn temporary discomfort into a long
14:22
-term burden.
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Facing something may be uncomfortable now, but completion
14:28
allows you to move beyond it.
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Beyond it, beyond it.
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That's cool, right?
14:46
Very, very cool.
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Number 21, reward completion, not avoidance.
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Avoidance provides immediate relief, which teaches your brain
15:00
to, guess what?
15:04
Repeat it.
15:06
Start recognizing the much greater satisfaction that comes
15:14
from actually finishing something.
15:20
Number 22, take the emotion out of starting.
15:25
You don't need to feel inspired, fearless, excited,
15:30
or perfectly prepared for anything.
15:33
You don't need to have the answers for
15:34
everything.
15:36
Sometimes you simply begin because the task needs
15:39
to be done.
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You learn along the way.
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Number 23, handle what you postponed.
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Many people postpone things, but they never seem
15:49
to get them done.
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That can frustrate a lot of people because
15:53
they're not getting them done, because they're finding
15:55
excuses as to why they shouldn't do something.
15:59
I think that's an important thing, a very,
16:03
very important thing for us to understand.
16:10
It could be about how you're making a
16:16
huge difference in your life, right?
16:20
A huge difference that makes you change who
16:26
and where you are.
16:29
That's really cool.
16:31
Number 23, as I said, handle what you
16:34
postponed and look at what you've repeatedly moved
16:38
to another day.
16:40
Choose one item and decide that today is
16:44
when the postponement ends for good.
16:48
Can you do that?
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See, people postpone things and delay things because
16:54
they get comfort out of knowing we don't
16:57
have to do it now.
17:01
But I've said to you that success does
17:03
not lie in comfort.
17:04
Success starts to breed in discomfort, not pain,
17:10
discomfort.
17:10
You got to just become a little bit
17:12
out of your shell, push yourself a little
17:16
bit.
17:18
Number 24, discover what's easier than expected.
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How many times have you finally done something
17:26
and thought, that wasn't nearly as bad as
17:29
I expected?
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Give yourself the opportunity to discover that once
17:36
again.
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And I think when we do it once,
17:41
the next time we do like, oh, wait
17:42
a minute.
17:43
That wasn't so bad.
17:52
That wasn't so bad.
17:57
And I'll tell you that you can make
18:00
a difference in your life if you truly
18:02
want to make that difference, right?
18:09
You can make the difference if you really
18:12
want to make that difference.
18:15
That's a key guys, a very, very big,
18:20
big key.
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Number 25, stop giving avoided tasks power.
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Let me say that again.
18:30
Stop giving avoided tasks power.
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One more time in case you didn't catch
18:35
it.
18:36
Stop giving avoided tasks power.
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Let's talk about that, okay?
18:42
So every time something dictates your mood or
18:47
occupies your thoughts because you refuse to address
18:51
it now, you're giving it power.
18:56
Action helps you take that power back.
19:00
And although it might seem like a very
19:02
subtle step, you can indeed do this in
19:06
your life.
19:07
I'm not gonna tell you that it's gonna
19:09
be easy.
19:09
It's gonna be uncomfortable, okay?
19:13
It's going to be uncomfortable.
19:16
I think if we understand that, then now
19:18
we're like, oh, wait a minute.
19:19
Now I understand like how this happens or
19:21
why this happened, right?
19:24
I think that's an important piece for a
19:27
lot of people.
19:28
Why this happened?
19:29
Why do I believe this a certain way,
19:31
right?
19:35
How?
19:38
How do I change my perspective right now?
19:47
How do I do it?
19:50
How do I make a difference in people's
19:56
lives?
19:59
You become intentional.
20:04
You become intentional.
20:07
Number 26, clear one thing off your calendar,
20:12
your to-do list today.
20:15
You don't need to solve every unfinished problem
20:18
tonight.
20:20
You don't need to do that.
20:21
Just pick one thing.
20:24
You can do that, right?
20:25
Pick one thing, one message, one call, one
20:32
conversation you're gonna have, one task.
20:35
Finish it, clear it, check it off your
20:37
calendar, have it done.
20:41
That's what gives us power, Pat.
20:55
That's important, guys.
21:00
Very important.
21:04
But you have the power to do that.
21:15
You have the power to do that more
21:18
than you actually think.
21:19
Number 27, relief lives on the other side.
21:25
There's a particular kind of relief that arrives
21:28
when something you've been carrying is finally handled,
21:33
that relief feeling.
21:35
But you have to move through this comfort,
21:37
not over it, not around it, through it
21:40
to reach the other side.
21:44
Number 28, face it before it grows.
21:47
If we let something constantly be on our
21:51
plate and we don't handle it, it gets
21:53
worse.
21:55
It gets worse every single time we revisit
21:58
it.
21:59
Problems rarely become easier simply because they're ignored.
22:05
You ignore something, it's not gonna go away.
22:08
When something requires your attention, address it before
22:12
time adds unnecessary complexity.
22:15
I say that to you because a lot
22:18
of people don't understand the fact that they
22:23
make their lives harder because they don't understand
22:27
what's going on.
22:29
Number 29, freedom often begins with confrontation.
22:35
Confrontation doesn't have to mean conflict.
22:39
Sometimes it simply means turning towards something you've
22:43
been running from and deciding you're ready to
22:47
deal with it now.
22:49
Number 30, do the thing you've been avoiding.
22:55
You probably knew what that thing was before
22:58
the episode even began.
23:00
Stop giving yourself another reason to move it
23:03
into tomorrow.
23:06
Take the first responsible step today, all right?
23:12
Take the first responsible step today.
23:15
As I get ready to close this show,
23:17
know that, ladies and gentlemen, avoidance is interesting
23:20
because it promises relief, okay?
23:28
Don't deal with it right now.
23:31
Do it tomorrow.
23:34
Wait until you feel ready.
23:37
And for a moment, postponing something can feel
23:41
easier, but it's an illusion because then tomorrow
23:47
arrives and the one thing is still there.
23:52
Oh, now you spent another day thinking about
23:58
it, worrying about it, or feeling guilty because
24:02
you still haven't handled it yet.
24:05
Really?
24:05
Seriously?
24:06
That's why action can be so freeing.
24:10
You don't need to solve your entire life
24:12
today.
24:12
You don't need to clear every unfinished responsibility
24:16
before you go to sleep or check every
24:18
box off, but you can clear one thing,
24:21
one box, one option.
24:23
Open the message.
24:25
Make the call.
24:27
Begin the project.
24:29
Have the conversation.
24:32
Finish the task.
24:34
Take five minutes and start.
24:37
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
24:39
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist.
24:42
I thank you for choosing to join me
24:44
for another amazing episode of Inspirations for Your
24:46
Life.
24:46
And remember, ladies and gentlemen, the thing you're
24:50
avoiding may be taking more energy to avoid
24:56
than it would take to actually handle it
24:59
and resolve it.
25:02
Stop feeding the dread.
25:03
Stop carrying the unfinished business with you.
25:08
Face it before it grows.
25:10
When we have a meeting that happens, like
25:12
Robert's Rules, they always say, let's take care
25:14
of old business first.
25:15
No new old business, let's move on to
25:17
new business.
25:18
Because you see, sometimes, ladies and gentlemen, the
25:20
relief you've been looking for is waiting on
25:24
the other side of just one decision.
25:27
That's all it is.
25:29
Do the thing you've been avoiding.
25:34
If you do the thing you've been avoiding,
25:37
you'll feel lighter.
25:38
You'll feel free.
25:41
And the one thing you're going to realize
25:42
is the next time you have something and
25:45
you're thinking about avoiding, oh, I don't need
25:47
to avoid it.
25:49
If I face it head on, you're going
25:53
to say, wait a minute, that wasn't so
25:54
bad.
25:56
But in my mind, it was worse.
25:59
You made it worse than what it actually
26:01
is.
26:02
People do this their whole lives.
26:04
And then they wonder why they're not going
26:07
the right place.
26:08
They wonder.
26:11
They wonder that.
26:13
But it comes down to this whole concept.
26:17
You know what that concept is?
26:22
Do the thing you've been avoiding.
26:26
Is it exercising?
26:28
Is it eating healthier?
26:31
Is it forgiving somebody?
26:40
Is it remembering somebody to call them or
26:43
spend time with them?
26:45
What is it you're trying to avoid?
26:49
Is it the fact that you're worried that
26:51
maybe you're not right?
26:54
And your ego is tripping you because you
26:57
can't get through it?
26:59
Get over it.
27:01
Okay, get over it.
27:04
Do the thing you've been avoiding.
27:08
Stop waiting for life to change, which is
27:11
our master topic.
27:11
And take action, decisive, intentional action.
27:18
When you keep making steps every day and
27:21
taking one deliberate intentional action day, you know
27:24
what happens?
27:26
Your life starts to change.
27:29
Now, not overnight, but it does actually change
27:32
when you realize where you were a while
27:35
ago.
27:35
And now you're like, wait a minute, I'm
27:37
way over here.
27:37
How'd that happen?
27:39
Simple.
27:39
You took one step every day and you're
27:43
consistent.
27:44
For success, we need structure and we need
27:47
consistency.
27:48
That is a key in our lives.
27:50
Again, ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
27:52
Morley, serial entrepreneur.
27:53
Be sure to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com for
27:55
more of my amazing, inspiring creations at BelieveMeAchieved
27:58
.com.
27:59
Be well, everyone, and do the thing you've
28:02
been avoiding now.