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799. ROKindness.org: Can Peter Samuelson Make Kindness Go Viral? · Daily Influence

0:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IA Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
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0:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence, I'm Greg Clino.
0:51
[SPEAKER_01]: Before we dive in, I want to share a quick note.
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1:05
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're looking for simple, actionable ideas, you can apply in your business or leadership role, you can find the link to subscribe in the show notes below.
1:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And now, let's move into today's conversation, where we'll continue exploring the ideas, actions and influence that helps us lead and live with greater influence.
1:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Today, I'm excited to welcome back Peter Samuelson, a film producer, philanthropist, author, and serial pro-social entrepreneur whose career demonstrates what can happen when empathy is translated into action.
1:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter first joined us in February for an episode titled From Hollywood to Humanity, Peter Samuelson on a service, storytelling, and finding happiness.
1:53
[SPEAKER_01]: During that conversation, we explored this journey from producing major Hollywood films to creating organizations that support seriously ill children, foster youth, and people experiencing homelessness.
2:06
[SPEAKER_01]: We also discussed his belief that lasting happiness is not found in what we accumulate, but in how we contribute to the lives of others.
2:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Today, we are continuing that conversation by focusing on how individual acts of kindness can create measurable and lasting influence.
2:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter currently serves as the volunteer CEO of the organization, random opportunities for kindness, or rockkindness.org.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's the world's first public ledger of good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The platform allows people to record random opportunities
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[SPEAKER_01]: encouraging others to pay those actions forward and see how one thoughtful choice can ripple through families, organizations, and communities around the world.
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[SPEAKER_01]: In this episode, we will discuss how leaders can make kindness intentional, measurable, and actionable.
3:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Why documenting positive actions can encourage broader participation and how each of us can begin creating a meaningful
3:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Well thank you so much on it to be here looking forward to it.
3:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter, you've spent your career combining entrepreneurship, storytelling and service from supporting seriously ill children and foster youth to creating shelters for people experiencing homelessness.
3:30
[SPEAKER_01]: What experiences shaped your belief that influence carries a responsibility to improve the lives of others and how is that belief
3:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So two threads, I think, into woven.
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[SPEAKER_02]: One is, I'm an immigrant.
3:47
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a long, long time since I came in on a visa, very glad and delighted to be here.
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[SPEAKER_02]: God knows there was no work in the UK back then.
3:58
[SPEAKER_02]: and I've spent decades trying to pay back America that let me in, you know, I went visa green card citizenship, a very moving ceremony, but I do think it's circular and I think being given the
4:18
[SPEAKER_02]: unbelievably deep and broad opportunities of being an American gives me responsibilities.
4:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Second thread, when you are a film producer, you take a story and you turn it into a project.
4:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It may come to you as one sentence or you may have an idea yourself or you option a novel or something like that.
4:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So I've made nearly 30 films now where it doesn't work just to say, well, that's a pretty good story and leave it at that, because then nobody will ever see it.
4:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So what you have to do is you have to say, all right, how do I pitch this thing that doesn't exist yet?
5:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And in pitching it, how will I get
5:07
[SPEAKER_02]: a crew, a script, a director, a cast, the money, the distribution, where are we going to make it?
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[SPEAKER_02]: What's it going to cost?
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's a business of nuts and bolts, but in service of some idea or creative emotional pool that you feel as a producer to the story.
5:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So what I discovered with this sense of obligation
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[SPEAKER_02]: decades ago, coupled with, I know how to do this stuff.
5:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I can take the tool kit of being a film producer and carry it sideways and say, well, is something we absolutely right now need to do to make America a better place.
5:56
[SPEAKER_02]: That is what has brought me to rockkindness.org.
6:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for sharing.
6:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I love your journey.
6:03
[SPEAKER_01]: It shows that meaningful influence often begins with a deeply held conviction.
6:08
[SPEAKER_01]: But rock kindness that or began with something much more ordinary, a lost wallet and a stranger who chose to return it.
6:17
[SPEAKER_01]: What did Kevin Smith's experience teach you about the potential hidden inside and every day act of kindness and what steps transformed that single moment from an inspiring story into a structured global initiative?
6:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I think first of all, the co-incidence that his experience and my experience of random opportunities for kindness turned out to be the same thing and we thought one and one might make three or ten or a hundred what had happened to Kevin is he left his wallet.
6:52
[SPEAKER_02]: uh, in a store, and he was just panicking, realizing that it had all his ID and credit cards and, oh, what a mess.
7:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And there was a ring on the doorbell, and it was a young woman that didn't know at all.
7:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And she said, here you left this on the floor in the store.
7:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And he was so overwhelmed with gratitude that he, this norther way at him, I have to do something with this.
7:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Meanwhile, in one of my non-profits, first our.org
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[SPEAKER_02]: starting about a dozen years ago, I invented a course called random opportunities for kindness, which I teach across the country in our 15 academies for teenage foster kids.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I usually teach it to 10th graders along the lines of you're walking down the street and there's an old lady
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[SPEAKER_02]: You have three choices.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Tell me which you take.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You can stop and put a dollar or two under her arm or you can stop and wake her up and give her the dollars.
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[SPEAKER_02]: or you can do nothing, you can cross the street, never do anything for her, ends up being a conversation about the golden rule.
8:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, we feel this thing of injustice in our hearts of imbalance, and as human beings, maybe not all of us, but most of us, feel we should try to do something to correct it.
8:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I say, well, okay, it's in 170.
8:30
[SPEAKER_02]: world religions in that scriptures, what if someone was an atheist?
8:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Would they never help the old lady?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And the kids say, no, no, of course they would.
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[SPEAKER_02]: They could feel the emotion, the need to correct it.
8:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And I say, who can tell me what is Einstein, the second law of thermodynamics?
8:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And they usually are couple of kids who say, well, you know, it's the one about entropy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: If you don't
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[SPEAKER_02]: energy to a closed system and I say stop there what is a closed system and they say well you know if you don't oil the engine in your car and I say what about a more abstract societal one and somebody says well like a family with foster kids if you don't nurture your family you won't have a worthwhile family and I say what about something huge well like a planet if you don't
9:24
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, the season where the ice will melt and you'll lose Florida and it'll be unbearably hot and mass migration and we need to lean in and take responsibility.
9:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I say, okay, that's the end of our first class.
9:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Come tomorrow something shocking is going to happen to you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Each of you is going to receive $200.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I get $200 where you don't get to keep it you have to write a little essay to who bought a walk you want it to go and we're all going to go out and do it and then we're going to go back a few weeks later did the on-house gentleman buy the shoes or did he buy a big bottle of brandy.
10:05
[SPEAKER_02]: and they write the most amazing short little proposals.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I'm adding $10, that's $210, $3, 2017.
10:15
[SPEAKER_02]: $70 is what you pay down at the Humane Society for them not to use the nies a dog.
10:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm saving three puppies.
10:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Why am I doing that?
10:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the last time I was down there, I looked into the eyes of a puppy that had been very badly beaten and I saw my own eyes
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[SPEAKER_02]: because I was very badly beaten as well.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm saving three puppies, love Jose.
10:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So I had had this experience, which is on going, Kevin had founded kindness worldwide based on the idea of
10:57
[SPEAKER_02]: in bringing him back his wallet.
11:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was, I don't know whether it exists in the United States, Dr. Livingston, I assumed that when the two explorers back in Victorian times 130 years ago, they met in the jungle in Africa because they were both explorers and Dr. Stanley and Dr. Livingston said, oh,
11:21
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, here we are, you know, doing the same thing from opposite directions.
11:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So he and I said, well, something needs to be done and it needs to be done now.
11:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said, I think it's fine that we got people, you know, jumping in the river and rescuing people who are drowning, doing individual acts of kindness.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's wonderful.
11:45
[SPEAKER_02]: But why wouldn't we build a bridge?
11:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Why wouldn't we try and build a platform?
11:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And we said, well, let's just do it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So launching this August is RO kindness, rock kindness, random opportunities for kindness.org, rock kindness.org.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Launching nationally, a platform to encourage, measure,
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[SPEAKER_02]: and replicate and make go viral random opportunities for kindness.
12:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And we think the time is now.
12:25
[SPEAKER_02]: This is not a political statement.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's not a red or blue thing.
12:29
[SPEAKER_02]: There is so much hatred in our country.
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[SPEAKER_02]: People have gone crazy with...
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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, amping up the hatred, the unkindness, and we need to stand up and say, I don't care what your politics are, why don't we be kind to each other, why don't we build some bridges, not just politically, but also racially and in every other way, where there is division, kindness is the bridge.
12:58
[SPEAKER_02]: but there isn't enough of it and it is robust enough, you know, heat through it is very robust.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah, I'll punch you in the face, pretty robust.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Follow me, we'll punch them in the face together.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Pretty robust, horrible, destructive of our civilization and our democracy,
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[SPEAKER_02]: What do we do about it?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm all about, don't just talk about it, do something.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So what Kevin and I have built is based on the psychology and the psychiatry of human nature.
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[SPEAKER_02]: How do you make something go viral?
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I said, well, who is already doing something like this,
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[SPEAKER_02]: Amway, Tupperware, Mary Kay Cosmetics, you know, these things where they replicate their goal is using human nature to go one to three to nine to twenty seven.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I went off and found a psychologist who advises a big one of those multi-level marketing companies
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[SPEAKER_02]: How does one do it?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Is it one to three to nine to twenty seven or is it one to five to twenty five to one hundred and twenty, you know, like what is the replication?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And we learned and then we hired people.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And we have built it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And if you go to rockkindness.org, there it is.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it goes live on in the middle of August.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And then our public launch with a lot of PR will be the day after Labor Day.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But you're welcome to join it now.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Let me tell you what it is.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So you think this might be a pretty good idea.
14:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe you agree.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care what someone's politics are, but I think we need an outbreak of kindness.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We need to build some bridges and you want encouragement and you want a method to see what your impact is on the world.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So you go on, you open a free account.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We're very sensitive to your privacy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We don't want to have your personal information.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We've minimized that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We're never going to sell it to anybody.
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[SPEAKER_02]: The whole thing is pure as the driven snow we are volunteers.
15:28
[SPEAKER_02]: But you open an account.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it says, OK, go do an act of kindness.
15:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's say you're in a supermarket and the old lady in front of you doesn't have enough money to pay for her groceries.
15:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And you just lean in and you very quietly give your credit card to the checkout, tell her, and you said just put it on there.
15:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And the old lady maybe turns around to you and says,
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[SPEAKER_02]: How can I ever thank you?
15:57
[SPEAKER_02]: That's so kind.
15:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And you say, you don't need to thank me.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's my honor, my pleasure.
16:03
[SPEAKER_02]: But, and you place into her hand, a stack of these things that you printed out on the, um, here it is, because what it looks like, you, you have a bunch of these, and you notice
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[SPEAKER_02]: When you print them out, you can print out one, you can print them out electronically, you can print them out on an eight and a half by 11 sheet of eight of them, you can do whatever you want.
16:36
[SPEAKER_02]: But that QR code in the corner, that has your identity, not your personal private identity, but your kind of membership number on the site.
16:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Now let's say the old lady goes out and is inspired to go and do three acts of kindness.
16:58
[SPEAKER_02]: When she does her acts of kindness,
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[SPEAKER_02]: each of those people, she gives them a bunch of the cards that she printed out on the site and they have her identity within them.
17:13
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's a point system, kind of a bit like an airline system, you know, bronze silver gold where we have rock climber, rock star, rock champion and it's sort of ripples on the pond
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[SPEAKER_02]: the nine people go and do acts of kindness, they each get 10 points.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But the person who did the act of kindness to them, they get five points.
17:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And the person who did call it the grandparent acts of kindness,
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[SPEAKER_02]: they get one point and so do you because you're the great grandparents.
17:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And you continue getting points, doesn't matter.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I mean if a million acts of kindness happen, you're still going to get a point from each of them.
18:03
[SPEAKER_02]: They give you bragging rights, they give you a virtual badge, they give you a level that you could stick in your signature block, but they also have some other advantages.
18:13
[SPEAKER_02]: We've got so far 15 state governors, both Democrat and Republican, who are periodically going to invite our top tier people to come to the state capital, come and have lunch,
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[SPEAKER_02]: get the Pennsylvania Medal of Kindness, be in the press, and that, in turn, will help our whole thing go viral.
18:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's what it is.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's completely pure.
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[SPEAKER_02]: There's no money in it.
18:47
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't really want money.
18:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And, and, and, and,
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[SPEAKER_02]: you know, we've raised enough money.
18:53
[SPEAKER_02]: We pay our young people because they have to pay rent, but we don't pay anyone over the age of 30.
18:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's rockkindness.org, come one, come all, now's the time.
19:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Answer me this question.
19:07
[SPEAKER_02]: You out there looking at this.
19:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for still paying attention.
19:11
[SPEAKER_02]: How do we make kindness go viral?
19:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Because hatred is viral.
19:16
[SPEAKER_02]: How do we stand up against it?
19:18
[SPEAKER_02]: What is the 2026-27 equivalent of those young people 50 years ago who put flowers into the barrels of guns?
19:32
[SPEAKER_02]: on university campuses.
19:34
[SPEAKER_02]: How do we do that?
19:35
[SPEAKER_02]: That was pretty brave.
19:36
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you make kindness both brave and how do you get it on social media?
19:43
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you make it wonderful and exciting for influencers to push it out to their followers?
19:50
[SPEAKER_02]: How do you do all those things?
19:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's what we think we have conquered.
19:56
[SPEAKER_02]: There's a suggestions tab on the site, top right.
20:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You can give us any of your ideas, but just join.
20:03
[SPEAKER_02]: It's free and you will feel a gratifying sense.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, we've been testing it out.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We've the founders and family and friends.
20:15
[SPEAKER_02]: It's absolutely amazing.
20:17
[SPEAKER_02]: How did we get to a kindness in Kenya, Africa?
20:21
[SPEAKER_02]: no idea, but it went from 1 to 3 to 9 to 27 to 100 and whatever to hundreds of thousands.
20:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And you can see a map of the random opportunities of kindness that people took.
20:36
[SPEAKER_02]: You can see it geographically.
20:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a map of the world.
20:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You can zoom in and all of that.
20:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Or you can see it as a kind of family tree of kindnesses.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I did this.
20:49
[SPEAKER_02]: those things happened and out was it goes.
20:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So what happens when you drop a rock in a pond?
20:56
[SPEAKER_02]: It creates ripples and they go out in concentric circles out to the edges of the pond.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Our edges no idea the whole world maybe would do some on Mars when they get there.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter, thank you for sharing that.
21:13
[SPEAKER_01]: How does making kindness visible and measurable strengthen personal accountability without turning kindness into a competition or transactional exercise?
21:24
[SPEAKER_01]: And what indicators will tell you that the movement is creating meaningful impact?
21:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Had a fantastic conversation with Rabbi Cohen, he is the head of the biggest congregation, the biggest synagogue in Stanford, Connecticut, we had lunch when he was in LA last week.
21:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And we talked about this pyramid of philanthropy invented by great Rabbi 800 years ago called my monodies.
21:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said, do you think we will have a challenge in Rock Kindness, which he was our greatest fan and in fact we're going to do it geographically in Stamford, Connecticut and we're going to do it separately within his congregation, we're going to do a, you know, a time limited challenge, I said, you know, my monody said, the purest form of giving is anonymous, that's the top of the pyramid.
22:18
[SPEAKER_02]: and then down at the base is still doing kindness, but doing it with your name on a wall, you know, with credit, and he said, yes, well, absolutely the highest form of giving is anonymous.
22:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And of course, you can do anonymous on rockkindness.org, just don't use your name.
22:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Use an icon instead of your headshot and call yourself, um,
22:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Greg 3 or something instead of your full name.
22:51
[SPEAKER_02]: So you can do that if you want.
22:53
[SPEAKER_02]: He said, but remember the base of the pyramid.
22:58
[SPEAKER_02]: is wider than the pointy bit at the top of the pyramid.
23:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said you're absolutely right.
23:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think what is the imperative is we have to make lots of kindness happen.
23:10
[SPEAKER_02]: And we have to make it grow exponentially and to do that, to anonymous, to with a little bit of signage, get your medal from the governor of Pennsylvania, et cetera, whatever rings your bell,
23:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, to that.
23:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the bottom line is we need to be crossing people over the road.
23:32
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to be volunteering at soup kitchens.
23:36
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to be handing out bags of groceries.
23:39
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to be picking up trash on the beach.
23:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And we need to be good citizens, good human beings, good residents of the United States.
23:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I take it very seriously.
23:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I have always thought that my being here was conditional.
23:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Being paying back.
24:00
[SPEAKER_02]: kind of what's written on the base of the Statue of Liberty, give us your huddle masses, yearning to breathe free.
24:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought, hey, that doesn't sound too difficult.
24:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I could be a huddle mass.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Let me in.
24:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Let me help.
24:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've been doing it ever since, you know, in parallel to my
24:25
[SPEAKER_02]: rockkindest.org is the eighth.
24:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Why?
24:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I should and because I can.
24:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So we'll see.
24:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's going to work.
24:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's going to grow one to three to nine to twenty seven, et cetera.
24:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's going to go viral.
24:40
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be a thing.
24:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think we're going to look back on it in a year or five years and we're going to say, I God, thank we did this in the nick of time.
24:49
[SPEAKER_02]: hatred was growing
24:53
[SPEAKER_02]: and actually what unites us is intrinsically much stronger than hatred, because hatred is based on fear and fear is based on othering and not sitting down and meeting people, whereas kindness is indeed based on meeting people.
25:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It's based on, come have lunch with me, you look hungry.
25:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's a blanket.
25:17
[SPEAKER_02]: One of this blanket, we don't need it in the back and I got one.
25:23
[SPEAKER_02]: We drove home in a sort of euphoria because our ratty old blanket was now around the shoulders of an unhoused gentleman in westward village.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We didn't even need it.
25:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And we felt so good.
25:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think you lift yourself up.
25:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And that, and helping you keep tracking and realizing, it's not even the guy you gave the blanket to, but I gave him a stack of cards.
25:49
[SPEAKER_02]: If he goes and helps, some other unhoused person, I'm gonna be able to see that on the rock kindness site.
25:59
[SPEAKER_02]: How great is that?
26:01
[SPEAKER_02]: 1-3-9-27.
26:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Things that grow exponentially are upon us.
26:07
[SPEAKER_02]: It can't just be the hating.
26:10
[SPEAKER_02]: It can't just be all this horrible social media.
26:14
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to push back.
26:16
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to be the good guys and girls.
26:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think this is just a platform a pathway to do exactly that.
26:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter, for someone who believes in kindness, but is overwhelmed, skeptical that small actions matter or unsure where to begin, what simple habit can help them recognize and act on random opportunities for kindness.
26:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Having had good parents, I think is helpful.
26:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Being a new citizen, being an immigrant,
26:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, having religion is by no means mandatory because I absolutely think an atheist can feel the golden rule in their heart, but I think it's an asset belonging to any organized spiritual community because every single religion in the world is about 170 of them.
27:13
[SPEAKER_02]: If you go on your holy day, the minister will stand up there in the pulpit and we'll talk
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[SPEAKER_02]: random opportunities for kindness and why are we doing them and so on and so forth.
27:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So why do it?
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[SPEAKER_02]: I think it breaks down into two things.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Number one, because we better take care of each other or we're going to lose the whole all-day.
27:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Secondly, that spirit talking of ball games that we had during the World Cup, where people got together and shared
27:48
[SPEAKER_02]: We need more of that and less of the punching and of the other ring, and so
27:55
[SPEAKER_02]: We should do it, we can do it.
27:59
[SPEAKER_02]: It's mostly free, if it isn't free, it's very inexpensive.
28:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think it's the glue that holds civilization together.
28:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think all we're doing is, you know, we're building a runway, a set of runways.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We're building a bridge over a river of unkindness.
28:20
[SPEAKER_02]: We need to help each other.
28:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I believe that when we were scared and living in caves, 100,000 years ago, plus or minus, I think fear was the operative emotion and the cave leader
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[SPEAKER_02]: usually the tallest person, usually a man, said something along the lines of, I know you're scared but don't be scared do what I say and I'll protect you and we'll all hate those people who dress different and have different coloured skin and worship differently and bang the drum just differently over the other side of the valley.
29:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that's very persuasive.
29:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's kind of as though you, I guess my first law of caves, Samuelson's first law of caves.
29:11
[SPEAKER_02]: You can take the people out of the caves.
29:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not sure you can take the caves out of the people, because I think we carry in our DNA, fear, dressed up as dislike and hatred and suspicion of other,
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[SPEAKER_02]: I think we have to, you know, come on.
29:28
[SPEAKER_02]: We're evolved.
29:30
[SPEAKER_02]: We have no bell prizes.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We have science.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We have medicine and this and that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We need intelligence directed at how to propagate kindness because it really is the glue.
29:46
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the encouragement.
29:48
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the pat on the head,
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[SPEAKER_02]: foster kids, which I do a whole lot.
30:00
[SPEAKER_02]: They raise different things.
30:01
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I put a lot in the book.
30:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I wrote this last year finding happy and there's a whole chapter about how to date.
30:12
[SPEAKER_02]: How can I find someone to love me?
30:14
[SPEAKER_02]: How can I find someone to love?
30:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I teach that bit in the class and when I wrote the chapter, I said, so what do you do now?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, well, I have an app.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I flip left and I say, but you realize that's not what the person looks like, right?
30:29
[SPEAKER_02]: That's AI.
30:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So when you go for the coffee, you'll be disappointed.
30:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, well, you know, I go, I meet someone in a bar.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I just really good.
30:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll find someone to spend the rest of your life when both of you are drunk.
30:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, not.
30:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So then they said, well, what am I supposed to do?
30:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I say, well, I can share my story with you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I founded a charity.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I volunteer too many hours every day.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I fell in love with someone who was also volunteering.
31:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Why?
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[SPEAKER_02]: How?
31:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, because there we were doing kindness alongside each other.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, we took a shine to each other and we dated and we had something to talk about.
31:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, you want to find someone worthy of you love and vice versa.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Go volunteer.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Look to the left.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Look to the right.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Who are these people?
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[SPEAKER_02]: They, oh, they care about what we're here.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We are saving the
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[SPEAKER_02]: date them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: The people who agree with what you are volunteering to do, see what happens.
31:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I said I've been married 42 years.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So clearly it worked out for me, right?
31:43
[SPEAKER_01]: It sure did.
31:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And you've spent decades learning how empathy, action and responsible influence intersect.
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[SPEAKER_01]: If you could give your younger self one piece of advice about using influence responsibly, what would it be?
31:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I think intuitively, especially think that the teenagers that I'm teaching, just about every day of the week, they are all carrying PTSD, they've been abused or neglected, they're in a bad place, you know, I ask a kid at lunch, why you always hungry, well, because in my placement, they have a padlock on the refrigerator.
32:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you serious?
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[SPEAKER_02]: They're getting $1,000 a month to feed you and close you, and they put a who have them?
32:25
[SPEAKER_02]: keys to the padlock, all the people in that family, you know, the teenage kids and the foster parents, they all have keys, I don't get it, you know, it's cruel, it's horrible.
32:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So what I say is, and I say it broaden and just foster kids, what I say to all the young people in my orbit, get outside your zone.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Go help someone.
32:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Because what you will do, first of all you'll get promoted so fast, you're frustrated because you're entry level in some company and you can't get out of stacking boxes and you know you can do much better and you're much smarter but they kind of want you to stack the boxes for five years before they'll let you be in charge of anything.
33:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I say go find a charity.
33:12
[SPEAKER_02]: If you dare to raise your hand and have a good idea, they'll make you the vice-president for implementing the good idea in about a minute flat.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So, first of all, you'll advance faster.
33:25
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll get stuff to put on your CV.
33:28
[SPEAKER_02]: People don't care that you've been in charge of social media for a non-profit.
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[SPEAKER_02]: they want to know that you are in charge of social media and you've done it for three years and so on and so what that is, the kind of thing that gets you hired.
33:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So I say, acts of kindness, random opportunities of kindness, rock kindness.
33:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Or it is both selfless and it is
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[SPEAKER_02]: how we fix our planet, and our world, and our civilization, and our city, and our state, and our family.
34:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Go full and tear together.
34:07
[SPEAKER_02]: It's also selfish and there's a chapter in the book.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Selflessness can be selfish, and that's just fine.
34:17
[SPEAKER_02]: If you have an advantage because of doing
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[SPEAKER_02]: God bless.
34:27
[SPEAKER_02]: It's only good.
34:28
[SPEAKER_02]: It'll encourage you to do more of them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, pull more.
34:32
[SPEAKER_02]: If you feel wonderful because you put someone out of the water where they were drowning.
34:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you pull some more people out of the water.
34:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Won't you?
34:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And we'll help you keep track on rock kind of stock org.
34:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And feel good.
34:45
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, optimism is in direct proportion to getting
34:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And when you die, which eventually we all do, they never put on your tombstone, died with $800 million to his or her name.
35:06
[SPEAKER_02]: They never put that.
35:08
[SPEAKER_02]: They put things that speak to the fabric of life.
35:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Raise great kids, much loved by the grandkids.
35:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, founded charities to do things that weren't already being done.
35:24
[SPEAKER_02]: A man never stands so tall as when he stooped to hold the hand of a child in need.
35:32
[SPEAKER_02]: It takes a village to raise a child.
35:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Go read the tombstones because in the end at the end, that's what people wanted on their tombstone never has to do with money.
35:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Died living in an 8,000 square foot house, not.
35:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Now you never see that.
35:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're all living longer, thank God.
35:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, medicine.
35:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, science.
35:59
[SPEAKER_02]: But it gives all this extra time like an extra act of forthact and with react life.
36:06
[SPEAKER_02]: To do extra stuff, leave an impact.
36:11
[SPEAKER_02]: If you leave too much money, you know, to your children and grandchildren, it's more often bad for them than good for them.
36:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure, we'd be a little bit of money helping them put down the deposit on a house and those kind of things.
36:25
[SPEAKER_02]: But too much money, I'd let you all the time to ultra-high net worth people.
36:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I got flown into West Palm Beach by Jen Spring.
36:33
[SPEAKER_02]: That's family offices for ultra-high net worth families.
36:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think what do you want me to talk about?
36:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And they said, oh, the G3 challenge.
36:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said, I don't know anything about airplanes.
36:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And they said, no, no, no, no, no, no.
36:47
[SPEAKER_02]: G1 is the grandparents who made all the money, founded the family company.
36:52
[SPEAKER_02]: G2 have all got higher degrees, you know, their CPAs and MBAs and JDs and MDs.
37:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And then G3 is the grandchildren, substance abuse challenges, interpersonal relationship challenges, lack of motivation.
37:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I said, oh, I know how to talk about that.
37:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So what I said, and I'm still in touch.
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[SPEAKER_02]: This was like two years ago.
37:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still in touch with a number of the families.
37:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, put your teenagers and young adults, put them on the board, make them the spotters,
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[SPEAKER_02]: and the follower up people of the money that people ask you for and that you donate to charities, send them out to see, you know, what is it?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Are these people any good?
37:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Who are the beneficiaries?
37:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Why is that good?
37:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And then send them back and check up on it and watch how the young people
38:00
[SPEAKER_02]: watch how it transforms their lives, because as they suddenly are connected to the life force, where not everybody has it easy.
38:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And when you do have it a bit easier, you can make yourself happy and by helping those who don't.
38:16
[SPEAKER_01]: That's great advice, Peter, and as listeners consider the ripple they are creating, what is one intentional act you challenge each of us to complete today, and how can we invite someone else to carry it forward?
38:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Agnes.org, join in the next 28, 24 or 48 hours.
38:36
[SPEAKER_02]: off do you print it out some cards with your QR code so easy to do.
38:43
[SPEAKER_02]: You can get fancy and you can print them out eight to a page on pre-perforated card that you can get for eight bucks on Amazon.
38:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Or you can just print them out on sheets of paper and use a pair of scissors to cut them up.
38:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Or you can just do them virtually and people can tap your cell phone to their cell phone.
39:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And then go do something kind, don't have to be money.
39:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Some of the people watching, I've got me money.
39:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't need any money.
39:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I've got hundreds and hundreds of foster kids who don't have a nickel to their name and who are disempowered doing acts of kindness.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's easy to do.
39:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Someone may say thank you to you.
39:30
[SPEAKER_02]: You do them even anonymously if you want.
39:34
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, if you're squeamish, you can do them anonymously.
39:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have to wake up the old lady in rags who's fast asleep.
39:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You can put the money under her arm and then walk away.
39:46
[SPEAKER_02]: But you can still upload your little 30 second selfie video.
39:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel 10 feet tall.
39:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I just crossed someone over the
40:02
[SPEAKER_02]: we don't want you to upload video of anyone else because how do we know maybe they didn't want to be photographed but you can upload yourself and it's just a system, it's just a bridge but we want you to use it to pull someone as drowning out of the water, take them over the bridge, we're just the bridge.
40:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter, thank you so much for sharing your stories today in your advice, and I'm so grateful for telling us that it's not challenging, it's not hard to do random opportunities of kindness.
40:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And now that you've given us a platform, we can share it and watch it spread around the world.
40:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Once again, that
40:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Website is R-O-K-I-N-D-N-E-S-S.org, Rock-I-N-S.org.
40:56
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to put that information in the show notes.
40:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Please share it with those around you.
41:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter, thank you so much for joining us today.
41:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate the opportunity.
41:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's do this thing.
41:08
[SPEAKER_02]: How great are we?
41:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We won't
41:14
[SPEAKER_02]: opportunities for kindness that people took, and you can see them on the map of the ripples.
41:21
[SPEAKER_02]: You can see them on the geographical map, and maybe we change the world.
41:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Why not?
41:28
[SPEAKER_02]: It hatred can be made viral.
41:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Why can't we do it with kindness?
41:33
[SPEAKER_01]: a great question.
41:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And to everyone listening, please identify one person you can help encourage, recognize, or support today through an act of kindness.
41:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Make the action specific, follow through and invite that person to continue that ripple.
41:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Your influences are be moving through the world.
41:51
[SPEAKER_01]: The question is whether you are directing it intentionally.
41:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Please continue to spread the positivity.
41:58
[SPEAKER_01]: We appreciate you joining us for another episode of
42:02
[SPEAKER_01]: If today's conversation inspired you, please share it with those around you to spread the kindness and positivity.
42:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, small actions create big impact.
42:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Keep showing up, leading and growing one data time.
42:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, stay inspired and keep having a positive responsible influence.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Bye-bye.