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295 - 3 Things Every Emotional Authority Should Know · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

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  Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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  helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
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  flow without sacrificing results.
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  Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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  according to your human design.
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  I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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  Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everyone.
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  I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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  And today, we're together to talk about emotional authorities.
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  I have several emotional authorities inside my business by design mentorship.
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  I also have been working with a lot of emotional authorities in
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  private, in readings, and these themes have been coming up.
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  I feel like there's a message to be delivered.
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  So that's usually a cue for me to bring it to y'all.
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  So first of all, 50 percent of the world is emotional.
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  So that tells you something about how many people are dealing with these issues.
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  But there is so much conditioning that happens with being emotional.
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  And you are an emotional authority, first of all, if you
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  have a defined solar plexus.
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  If your solar plexus is defined, you're automatically going
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  to be an emotional authority.
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  What that means is that your emotions are happening all the time.
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  There's a wave pattern.
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  There is an emotional wave that you are always surfing.
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  All the time.
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  It never stops.
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  Now, some of us have a more erratic wave.
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  Some of us have multiple waves.
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  I know people that have all the waves activated in their human design chart.
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  So life can feel pretty chaotic.
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  And what I've noticed is that there's this general sense of, I feel like I'm crazy.
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  And the other piece is that you feel inconsistent.
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  Because truthfully, you are.
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  You're not consistent.
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  The only consistency is that you experience emotions all the time.
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  Whereas our counterparts, people who have an open solar plexus don't have
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  that constant up down, as Ra put it, a wave that goes from hope to pain and
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  back again, they're not on that same ride, so we appear kind of crazy to them.
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  Also we can feel very exciting.
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  We can feel really passionate because there's emotion in everything that we do.
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  There is power in being an emotional authority.
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  And there are so many people that don't see it that way.
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  There's power in emotionality.
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  So if you have Gate 36 as your conscious sun, you might have a bit
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  of this emotional charge to the things that you do, but you're not going
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  to work on the wave like those of us who have the solar plexus defined.
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  But this inconsistency, this feeling crazy, can lead to us feeling
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  like people move faster than us.
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  That we have to work harder, that we take a few steps forward
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  only to take a couple steps back.
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  That is how life can feel for us.
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  And there's different paths that you can go down.
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  But what results from that feeling, from that experience is you either feel
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  like you're a failure because things take so long, and you start to develop
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  a story of, I have anxiety, I can't make these things happen, everything
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  takes so long, I'm never gonna make it.
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  That can be a real, constant, debilitating story that people adopt.
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  And we all have different levels of taking in a story like that.
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  I had sort of a low grade version of that.
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  And I'm gonna talk about how I dealt with that.
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  Cause this is how the achievers deal with this.
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  We push hard.
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  It takes me longer.
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  I've got all of this stuff going on.
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  I feel a little bit like a failure.
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  Okay, I'm just going to push and keep going.
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  And we don't honor the emotional system that we have going on.
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  We don't honor the emotional process.
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  And what that leads to is a jacked up nervous system.
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  That leads to a nervous system that is constantly a little bit on edge
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  where you might be fighting your fight, flight, freeze response all the time.
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  And you do it by pushing yourself harder, by staying in action.
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  I'm looking at you, emotional manifesting generators and generators.
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  We are the biggest culprits of this because we have so much energy.
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  And then when you add that emotional power, the solar plexus is a motor.
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  Emotions have energy.
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  They have power.
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  So we add that with the sacral power, and soon enough you find us just running
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  a million miles per hour in the wrong direction, just trying to get past.
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  And then we have breakdowns.
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  We have moments where we just feel like, I don't know if I can keep this up.
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  It's not sustainable, it's not healthy, and that is not how we deal with it.
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  So here's what I need emotional authorities to know.
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  That feeling of feeling crazy is what's making you crazy.
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  If you're constantly putting attention on the fact that you are emotional all
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  the time and you feel at its mercy and you are thinking about it and pouring
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  energy into trying to understand it.
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  Trying to control it, trying to make it go away.
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  It will have the opposite effect.
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  This is what will make you more crazy.
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  That's where you get into your energy that I'm never okay.
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  I got to get a handle on this.
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  Creates a lot of nervousness in your system.
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  You become a high anxiety person because life feels out of control.
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  So this is where my advice, and what I recommend, and what I coach people through
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  outside of dealing with your emotions and dumping your emotional baggage and
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  working through it by processing it.
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  I use EFT.
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  That's the drug of choice that I use to process emotions, but in the
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  absence of that, can you surrender to the fact that you will never
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  have control over your emotions?
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  Now surrender is a harder thing to do than it sounds like, but can you just
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  make a practice of catching yourself when you go to try to fix them?
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  I don't feel good right now, what can I do to feel better?
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  I feel unmotivated.
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  Oh my God.
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  I got to get into action.
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  You start to develop a story.
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  I don't feel motivated.
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  I've got so much to do.
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  I've got to do it now.
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  How am I going to do this?
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  Oh, this is so hard.
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  That inner battle that you're having.
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  Can you start to notice it?
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  Can you start to see it at work and say, I'm not going to take
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  the bait and do what I always do.
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  What could I do right now?
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  What if I relax?
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  What if I asked myself, do I really need to do this right now?
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  What would happen if you leaned back in that moment, and allowed
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  yourself to be emotional?
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  Because more often than not, emotional authorities are telling
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  themselves it's not good to be emotional, so you're suppressing it.
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  And that only makes it stronger.
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  That only makes it worse.
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  And then you try to get a handle on it more.
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  And then do you see how this becomes a circular pattern of trying to get a handle
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  on something you cannot get a handle on.
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  And really in the moments that you feel better, it's not because you
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  did something great, usually, it's just a new point in your wave.
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  So you feel better than you did before, which is why we wait.
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  So that brings me to my second thing.
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  The strategy for an emotional authority, for decision making is to wait.
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  But there is a fair amount of waiting that goes on in an emotional authority's life.
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  And we're often not comfortable with the waiting.
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  I remember when someone told me that I had to wait when I
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  first started doing this work.
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  I thought I was going to die.
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  I was like, I'm an entrepreneur.
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  I need to make money.
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  I need to grow.
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  I need to do this.
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  I can't wait.
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  But waiting creates calm in your frequency.
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  So, wait.
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  And you'll find that waiting does not have a negative effect on your business.
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  Waiting does not have a negative effect on your life.
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  You'll find that waiting is your best friend.
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  I love telling people to wait now.
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  I love waiting.
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  And as a result of the cumulative effect of waiting and practicing
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  this over many years now.
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  The cumulative effect of waiting as an emotional authority becomes
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  that you don't have to wait as long before you feel good moving again.
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  This is where those severe ups and downs, where you're fighting your anxiety, you're
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  pushing through and then you collapse.
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  Because you feel so emotional that it had nowhere to go, that it takes you over.
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  And this is where you have to tap out.
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  You become less productive overall, because no matter how hard you ran for
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  the two weeks that you pushed through you have a hard crash at the end.
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  Because you ran yourself down.
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  Emotional authorities you will run yourself down, when you are
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  not honoring the wave, and you're not honoring your emotions.
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  You gotta get comfy with them.
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  You gotta get cozy with those emotions.
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  You have to allow them to be there.
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  They are your best friend.
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  You have depth.
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  You have passion.
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  We are the passion in the world.
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  I got news for you.
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  I used to look at the open solar plexus people and be like, that
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  looks like that would be easier.
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  And while it may be easier, We bring the passion into this world.
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  Without emotional beings like ourselves, there is no art.
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  There is no love.
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  There is no passion.
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  There is no excitement.
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  We are the juice in that fruit.
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  We get to be that.
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  But what we want to be, is we want to be a clean emotional frequency.
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  And we send that out when we are allowing ourselves to be who we
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  are, which is the essence of human design, is being who you are.
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  Especially the things that we think are inconvenient.
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  That's usually where our work starts.
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  If you're an emotional authority and you're wishing you weren't,
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  then you should probably do the work there to start out with.
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  I had done a lot of emotional work.
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  I had done the dumping my emotional baggage.
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  I had been doing my EFT work.
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  I had been certified in EFT for quite a while by the time I really
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  started diving into human design.
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  I was doing it alongside of it.
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  But I was processing my emotions.
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  I was working through my emotional stuff.
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  So I had done that work and then it just became, can I recognize
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  that, can I get comfortable waiting?
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  Really the key is get comfortable waiting.
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  Those moments in between have something to offer you.
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  That you will have much more power and much more consistency in your life.
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  When you are honoring the wave and allowing yourself those moments in
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  between, so those moments don't have to be weeks and months in between.
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  This is how you can create consistency in your energy.
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  When you feel emotional, go let yourself be emotional.
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  But so many people have shame around being emotional.
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  They were told that being emotional was not good.
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  They were told that being emotional maybe was manipulative, or being emotional was
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  inconvenient, or that they were crazy.
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  And one of the beautiful things about human design is that it shows us that
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  there was nothing wrong with us all along.
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  That somebody else maybe didn't get it.
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  Maybe we didn't get it.
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  This is what conditioning is, we were looking at the outside world, saying, that
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  looks better, that looks more desirable, or we heard feedback saying, you should
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  be this other way, that you're not.
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  You're being who you are.
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  I don't like it.
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  It's inconvenient for me.
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  It makes me feel bad, so you should change.
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  And we hear that, we feel that, and we try to change.
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  And then we took a part of ourselves that was truth, a part of ourselves
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  that was our power and our potential, and we turned it into a shadow.
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  Because now, we're trying to put the genie back in the bottle.
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  We're trying to push a part of us into the shadows.
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  And then it becomes a shadow.
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  So you've got to bring it all into the light.
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  You've got to say, I'm an emotional being, and this wasn't by accident.
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  This is something I'm here to master.
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  This is something that I am here to be.
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  How can I be that?
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  And what do I have to offer from this space?
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  And the other thing that you need to know as an emotional authority
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  is that you won't be consistent.
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  So please stop trying to be.
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  Let it go.
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  Accept your emotions, and don't just accept them, embrace them.
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  When you cry, it's powerful.
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  It's therapeutic.
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  There's a message in those tears.
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  Are you listening?
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  You can't listen when you're wishing that you could stop.
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  You can't have the realization if you're wishing the moment would end.
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  You gotta sit in it.
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  You've got to see it.
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  You've got to look at it.
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  You have to be brave enough to be different and to be
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  proud of being different.
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  Creativity comes from emotions.
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  Comes from passion.
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  Learn to channel it.
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  So many people have told me recently that coming to terms with their emotionality,
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  whether they're an emotional authority, or they just have really emotional
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  gates prominent in their design, that they have been shaming themselves for
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  wishing were different for a long time.
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  And now that they're seeing it as a potential, as strength,
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  seeing it differently, which is my hope with this episode, that
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  you're seeing it differently.
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  If you've got emotionality playing a big role in your business, in your life, in
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  your chart, then it's meant to be there.
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  Don't try to cast it out, because all you're doing is you're cutting off a limb.
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  You're handicapping yourself.
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  Won't help.
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  There are two people in my Business by Design mentorship that have
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  really prominent incarnation crosses where emotions are
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  such a huge, huge piece of it.
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  And them coming to terms with that, getting really, just really grounded in
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  the fact that emotions for them, they are a reality, and there's something that
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  they have to offer through their emotions.
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  But they cannot do that if they're wishing they weren't there.
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  One of those people is an emotional authority and one is not.
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  But it's still about acceptance.
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  My goal is that every single person listening to this show, or in my
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  world, in any way, that I'm showing you how to use human design to love
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  the shit out of yourself, just as you are, just as you were designed.
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  Because when you do that, you live your potential and not your shadows.
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  You start to become aligned with your purpose by accepting yourself.
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  Because when we accept ourselves, we stop trying to be something we're not.
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  When we stop trying to be something we're not, we are free
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  to be everything that we are.
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  And when we are, our gifts shine.
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  And that's where the power is.
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  So many people are trying to figure out the puzzle, crack
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  the code on human design.
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  It's about radical acceptance of all the pieces of who you are, all those pieces.
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  It's about accepting them, seeing them, and having an honest assessment
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  of where you are with them.
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  Are you in the shadow with it?
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  Are you dipping into that side of the spectrum?
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  Or are you in the gift?
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  And can you look at all of these aspects with curiosity, not criticism,
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  and accept them as integral parts of leading you to your purpose?
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  They are assistants on that journey.
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  Don't leave them behind.
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  And if you're an emotional authority, this is a huge part of your design.
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  And if you're not riding the wave, it'll knock you down time and time again.
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  Don't let it do that.
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  You do that by slipping a board under your feet and saying, we're going to do this
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  together, me, the board, and the wave.
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  Through the contemplation, through the work that you do,
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  you can start to surf this wave.
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  I hope this helped.
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  I hope you enjoyed this.
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  I hope that this helped you feel more aligned and more connected to
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  your emotions in a positive way, no matter what your design is.
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  So if you have prominent emotional gates or if you are an emotional
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  authority, I hope that this made you feel like being you was the key and not
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  to suppress any part of who you are.
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  And that your emotions can be your power.
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  So, we have a deconditioning guide.
• 18:41
  If you guys haven't downloaded it yet, this is a great guide.
• 18:43
  If you go to nicolelaino.com/decondition, you can grab it there.
• 18:47
  Or just DM me the word decondition on Instagram.
• 18:50
  I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial.
• 18:51
  We'll send you the guide.
• 18:53
  This is a really comprehensive guide on how to decondition
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  all of your nine centers.
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  That includes the solar plexus.
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  So I have all of that there.
• 19:00
  And if you want a deeper dive into deconditioning.
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  I did mention EFT here, so I will mention it again.
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  If you go to nicolelaino.com/tapping or DM me the word tapping on
• 19:11
  Instagram, we will send you the link for the mini deconditioning library.
• 19:15
  This is if you want to go deeper into deconditioning your type and your
• 19:19
  profile, and the fear gates of the spleen.
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  This is a paid offer though.
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  So I want to make that very clear.
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  This is not a free thing.
• 19:26
  This is just something that I mentioned here.
• 19:28
  So I thought it was worth mentioning here on the show.
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  All right.
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  Well, that's it.
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  Thank you so much for being here.
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  As always, I appreciate you.
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  And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must
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  first become an unshakeable human.
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  So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design, everybody.
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  We'll see you next time.
• 19:45
  If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
• 19:48
  us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
• 19:50
  the show and leave us a review.
• 19:52
  And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
• 19:54
  design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
• 19:59
  Go to nicolelaino.
• 20:00
  me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
• 20:04
  design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
• 20:08
  We'll see you there.