Latest / The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell / #12 - Immigrating From Nigeria, Finding the Similarities Between Cultures, and Entering Medicine With Akinjide Onifade

Transcript

#12 - Immigrating From Nigeria, Finding the Similarities Between Cultures, and Entering Medicine With Akinjide Onifade · The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: What's up y'all?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Seeking Authenticity.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Flint Mitchell, and I get absolutely psyched by having conversations with authentic people that I admire about the things they value.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: Their stories and perspectives don't just make me smile, laugh, and think.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: They inspire me to wake up earlier, listen better, focus, and work harder, and help make me a better version of myself.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: And it's my hope that sharing these conversations through this podcast might do the same thing for you.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: In this episode, I talk with one of my good friends, Akanjide Onafade.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: I met him playing club soccer in college when he was studying pre-med and working as a scribe in local hospitals.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now, he's currently a fourth-year medical student at UT Southwestern.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think everyone has people in their life that they naturally want to be around.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: They're the ones who others want to listen to and honestly care about what they have to say.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: And Akangide is, hands down, one of those guys for me.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: I just naturally respect what he has to say.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: And this conversation was an opportunity for me to explore a bit more about where he comes from.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about his experience immigrating from Nigeria at 13 years old, the similarities and differences between the cultures, some fun and wild stories from his time back in Nigeria, and about the values he has found important because of his journey in history.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I always welcome the times I get to spend listening to Akenjide.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I know you'll appreciate his story and perspective as well.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Enjoy.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Adults in the community say, don't do drugs, don't do alcohol, watch for you keep.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's like they only tell you what not to do.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like, so what should I do?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like what as African kids, we we don't really talk to our parents back home.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: There's an adage when I was a kid that says, it takes a community to raise a child.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it takes a village to raise a child.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like we really believe in that stuff.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you can respect other cultures as like equal, just different.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think making a community is just literally lateral.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think people fear the difference.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, it's not an easy task to explain because people fear the difference uh between the cultures.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: They don't they don't realize how it can be similar.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for doing this with me, Manu.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: I really thank you.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know medical school keeps you pretty busy, so I appreciate you giving me some of your time.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you having me, man.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's a real honor because like I really respected you since like we met, so this really this was really cool.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is exactly why we've kept in touch, because that's the mutual feeling or mutual respect I have for you.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: We met playing club soccer, and it's it's an interesting one because there's like a group of guys that have kept in touch afterwards, and I think I'm one of the youngest ones by a couple years, you know, Cyrus Matt, you, and then a couple others.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: And it it's a bond that is definitely just created out of respect.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um not just from the games or the club sessions, but also or or the Friday night indoor sessions, but yeah, you know, the random hangouts that we got to have, which was uh really something I really appreciated in college.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And kind of along that line of thought, I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about when and why you got so passionate about the game of soccer.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I was born in Nigeria uh in 1993.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, soccer is kind of a a big, big deal there.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have a picture of me when I was a kid where you know the ball was like pretty much the same size as me, you know.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been I've been around the game so long, you know.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I played every day, you know, after school.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no joke.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um that was like my lunch and dinner, you know, like I would just get home, take up my backpack, and just go out.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I was just lucky to be in that environment where you you could find it anywhere, you know, and you could you could play a game in any space you find with anything you find, you know, it's just the the the just the experience, you know.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be perfect, you know, it's just people the you know the camaraderie that it brings together just the fun because um you know one of the things I say is when I came to the US, it was not the same.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I had a little bit of a culture show.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was I you know You mean soccer or life in general?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's I mean everything, but soccer was like soccer was my life, man, you know.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and in a way, so I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but um, so when I got here, you know, one of my first few weeks, I was like, okay, I gotta go find a place to play, you know.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I saw kids playing basketball outside a lot.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like they'll bring out their nets, you know, they'll shoot.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I walked down the street, walked down to the other street.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: There was soccer, man.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was heartbreaking, you know.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but at school, you know, when you had like the recess, it's not recess, so like breaks, yeah, I guess recess, you know, or gym class, you know, they'll put out the sports, and you know, you get to play um whatever you want.
• 5:55
  unknown: Yeah.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I I did meet some people who played, you know, but it's not the same as when you go home and then you just like put your back back down, you want to go play.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: There was none of that.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: So that was kind of interesting.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I never got that experience, which was all that's what I've been doing all my life.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: So it was it was very, it was a it was hard to adjust.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's where I met my friends.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of like, what am I gonna do?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, now so soccer is just a huge part of Nigerian culture, huge part of it, especially for kids, you know.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, not just that, you know, we used to do like high jumps, like the Olympic style high jumps.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we we would like put two sticks on the ground and then just put one over it.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like this were you know, sometimes I think of all these things we did, I'm like, man, some of us could have been Olympians.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: We've literally been doing this without training or anything.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, it's just like fun for us.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like we see it on TV and we just recreate it, you know.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: But um, yeah, I think that's one of the things I would like to, you know, if I could go back and just make those things, but then I always feel conflicted because here when I came here, I had to um like there's just so much going through my head right now that I've never thought about in a while because you know, med school, obviously.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: But uh so um the only play only way I could play soccer on the regular year was signing up for a league.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right, you know, so it's just that kind of turned me off to it a little bit.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have to pay to play, yeah.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have cleats.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: I never won cleats to play soccer in my life, really, yeah.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's you have to play, you know, you have to have jerseys and there's game days, there's ref, there's all these rules, you know.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we're just gonna like just to play soccer, like yeah, right.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because as a kid, you don't really care.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: You just go out and play with your friends, yeah.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I I miss that a lot, you know.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I mean I've I think I've had this conversation and I've gone all the way to capitalism.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's how that's how deeply hurt I was.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, capitalism, man.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is it.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So um I have a lot of opinions about that, but that's basically the shell of it, you know.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have any particular stories that are fond in your head from about soccer back in Nigeria?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Anything that sticks out?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um you know, the the the one of the funniest ones uh is um like I look back at my pictures and I just even up to high school, I was always like kind of small, sure.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like skinny guy.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you probably saw me in my skinny days, like you know, like in even in college, I was just kind of skinny.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, it so I was like really a really small kid, and yeah, um I used to play against adults, but I never saw them as that, you know.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I would just I was a I was pretty good as a kid, you know.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So um good as an adult too.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Appreciate that.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to overstep, you know.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um but um so I I just remember all this time, like there will be one group of adults like golding me on, and then there'll be one good of a one group of adults saying, Man, if you go buy me, I will I will beat you up, you know, type of thing.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I just remember all that, and how they would just like I would like maybe like a mag an adult and they would just grab me by the way you going, you know, like that was so that was so fun for me.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was like it's always like I never really appreciated that, you know, play with all these guys, like to let me play with them, but there's always a sense of you can't be disrespectful.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that didn't make sense.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, it's soccer, like what are you talking about?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and then you see like you know, 18-year-old Giorena or like Erlen Holland and like playing for Dortmund, and it's like, well, no, no one ever says you can't do that, you know.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: But to the older players, um, do you are you do you uh watch basketball much?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Basketball?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do you keep I don't keep too good tabs in basketball?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, one of the things that happened recently was uh Trey Young, who's like Atlanta player, sure it's like his first or second year in the league.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it kind of like threw the ball behind like in between some guys' legs, some guy that's like been in the league for a while.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: He's like flagrantly flout fouled him, you know, saying you can't do that.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Those were fun times, but honestly, I don't think I had any terrible you know experiences playing soccer, man.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's always something I just loved.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was like clockwork, you know.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: I've I don't think I've ever had a terrible experience playing soccer either.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pretty good game.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's really good.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's fun.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Do are there any other aspects of uh Nigeria?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: It sounded like when we talked before this, you haven't been back since 2010.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Are there any other aspects of Nigeria that you miss particular or in particular?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, the culture maybe the celebrations it's all or nothing.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean we go harsh.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's you know, it's nobody poor, you know, rich, middle class, whatever it is, people go like you know, birthdays, weddings, you know, even if it's like funerals, like this, it's a celebration of life, like it's it's just the atmosphere, you know, people singing, people dancing, you know, like people spend money.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, I hate I hate to always bring the comparison up, but it's like kind of like, you know, in America, there's like the strip club scene.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like we we would always joke that, man, we started this, you know, because people would just like it's like people, man, it's people go people go hard when it comes to celebration.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: I I miss that, man.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I miss I miss that scenery.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't I didn't want to say too much about that.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if any other Nigerian is gonna be listening, like, what's my culture?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, man, I I think I missed that.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, the celebration, you know, just going to parties, you know, it's always like so fun, you know.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So interesting.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just like a very celebratory culture.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's a very celebratory culture, yeah.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, there's probably so much more that I can think of right now, but that was the first thing that popped into my mind.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's because we haven't been able to go out in so long.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was like stuck at home.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: That makes sense, whether that'd be the first thing that comes to mind.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's fascinating.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't know too much about the culture.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um I've never been the food is also great.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, the food is like very diverse.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, we have like I mean, I can we have so many different languages, so many different cultures in that one country.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that you know how many?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, do you can you ballpark?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, probably like 500 different languages, at least like 500 different tribes.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's just that's crazy because the country was just a bunch of you know, it's just a bunch like uh the colo um is it the colonists or something?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they just pretty much made it easier for themselves to be able to rule a bunch of different countries, a bunch of different peoples.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, like imperialism from yeah, yeah, European imperialism.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's just like Niger area and then became Nigeria, you know, it's just like this area bring all people together, and and um, you know, you had like people you had a group of people who were like um um hunter-gatherers, like nomads, you have people who are settled, so that's one of the things that's kind of made the the country very tense, you know, to say the least.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm I don't want to get into it, but it's not a very peaceful place, um, you know, most of the time because it's just these are very, very different people, you know.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: That you know, for example, the nomads, you know, they're still doing their nomadic life, and then they're going into the settlers place, and it's causing tension, you know?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, you have one region which like is rich in oil, you have one that it isn't, and they're like, Well, we're one country, sure.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, no, this is ours.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: So this is within one country.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Usually you hear that between two countries or something like that.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's there's like a lot of tension, you know.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's uh the presidency, you know, they try to make it seem like okay, one of the top three tribes this four years, and then the next tribe.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, when people get into power, that's nobody trying to share, man.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it's a very it's the the government is still they're still trying to base it off of uh individual tribes themselves, or like maybe the larger tribes in Nigeria.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the tribe, but power corrupts the mind.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And um like I I mean I'm not I'm I don't I'm not gonna pretend like I know a lot about the politics of my country, but um I I think they I think it's just not as easy as it sounds to just you know, you know, it's doesn't sound easy, yeah.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like especially when they don't trust each other, you know.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right you know, they think if a group comes in, they're gonna put in it's it's kind of similar to what's going on in this country, you know.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think they're gonna put in other people, you know, make other groups less powerful.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, it's it's very tough, but I don't know, man.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: All we've got is prayers for that country, but I hope because we we are blessed as a country, we have a lot of natural resources, sure.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you know, our leaders are just not great.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Our leaders are just not great, yeah.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's it's an interesting predicament, having your country I mean, originally be a series of hundreds of tribes bringing that together and then because I'm sure they all maybe not all, but there's probably a lot of unique belief systems and like 500 languages.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like these were tribes that were constantly you know coming together.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Communicating, yeah.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um so it's kind of wild to have that as your your country's history.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's pretty wild.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's um yeah, it's it's very tense, you know.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of like wars, many wars going on um inside.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a lot of places you don't want to go as a certain tribe.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of yeah, tensions, but you know.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: No, absolutely.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have any family back there?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: Do you go back and visit or class?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have a I have a yeah, so I talked to like my dad's still back there.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um my aunts and uncles are still back there.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, my parents are really like they're really old.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um very late.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: My my dad's in mid-70s, my mom's in the late 60s, so yeah, and I'm just 27, so you know, it's so it's it's kind of it's a weird yeah it's because you see all the people and you see them like doing stuff with the parents, and you're like, man, it's like there I need a generation in between that, you know, to be able to do that stuff.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I think it it's allowed me to kind of grow up on my own a bit.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because you know, there's a lot of things my mom didn't understand.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of had to navigate myself, you know, especially like coming into this country.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of had to you know just figure it out by myself.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, when you came to the country, did your parents come with you or family come with you?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: So my mom was already here for about four or five years, and then brought me here, yeah.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that was a tough five years because I was cool, I was a mama's boy, you know.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the one that I'm the one you can see.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: What you mean?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but uh yeah, he's mama's boy.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh when um you know, I'm the one where like the imagery I always keep in mind is she would like you ever eat one of those like uh like groundnuts where you had to break the shell and then like a walnut?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Huh?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like a walnut.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh maybe it's called walnut here.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's weird.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of difference, you know.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you call cookies, we call biscuit, you know, and it's just yeah, I was that's one of the things I also had to navigate myself.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: But um yeah, so we'll go with walnut, you know.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: So she would like she pretty pretty much like when I was a kid, she like crack it for me, and then like I would just she would like put it in my mouth, you know, like just I was just you know, in her arms, like yeah, you know, we were so close because um, you know, my my my middle name is um uh Ayomide, which means my joy has come.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there was this there was this belief of you know, if a woman, you know what's crazy?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a lot of people who are just like looking for one child, right?
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: And they're happy.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but then there's something in my culture that if you only have one child, there's still something bad about that.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: They call you uh I think it's a horse or something, like you know, yeah, it's it's so weird.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's so like my mom was like very, I think a lot of people, I don't know if from my dad's side or whatever, but I think a lot of people made fun of her for just having one kid.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Weird, you know, for years, man.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: I can't you know how long?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like she gave Britt my brother like 16 years apart.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: So she ended six years of just like, you know, and she was like at that point, she already given up, and that I was just like a miracle baby for her, you know.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: So she really, you know, loved me, man.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I was kind of sort of so I was lucky in that sense.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that I wasn't um, you know, it's like the opposite of a a mistake.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a blessing, right?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's a blessing, yeah.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Explains your middle name.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I was I was I was glad with that, but um, yeah, I'm really close to my mom.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so when she left, it was really it was tough.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: I lived with my grandmother, but that was also good because she like instilled in me a lot of you know old school values that at that time was kind of going away from the younger generation because you were more infatuated with the Western world.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it was like it was great because I was I was she was instilling these things in me, not knowing that I was going to the Western world.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it was kind of like I'm glad I got that.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: It kind of anchored me when I got here, you know.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, when I got here, I kind of you know thought of my grandma.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it was helpful to kind of keep me.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: What what kind of thing like maybe when you think of your grandma, is there one of those values that really sticks out that that you want to do?
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just treating everybody well, right?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she she took care of everybody.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm I'm not just saying her family, everybody, like everybody in the community, you know.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: Her I never got to meet my grandfather.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh is one of the biggest motivators of going into medicine because he was such a great man, from what I heard.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it he just died a very kind of weak death, I would say, um medically.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know, they like my street, the street I lived on.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Was named after my grandfather.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like rich and poor into our house to get like problem solved.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's how much it was respected.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was just everybody, everybody in the community with their kids.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they fed anyone we needed to be fed, provided for whoever needed, you know, solved.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's it's it's like it's one of the big differences from the culture there.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: I I believe before we had the courts, you know, uh, because of the like the col uh colonialism, you know, we had like elders, you know.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: So my grandfather was kind of like that, you know, like you know, yeah.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um we our our household was actually central, you know, in my community.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I got to know a lot of people, a lot of people knew me.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I had a really fun childhood, like, you know, I could go anywhere I wanted, and I would be welcome to sort of, you know, be and that's because of my grandparents' um love towards everybody because I could there was nowhere I couldn't go where they wouldn't have helped somebody, you know?
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so and that was instilled in my mother too, and you know, and she keeps instilling that into me today.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: She helps, you know, anybody, you know, she's she's very well respected in the community.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that's that's definitely one of the things I remember, you know, just be nice to everybody because you never know, and not just because you think they're gonna help you in the future, but also with in mind that you never know where people are gonna end up.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one of the stories my mom tells me is there was a there was a kid when she was young that was kicked out of school, you know, for not being able to pay or something.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: And my grandfather went to the school and was like, please let him stay.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure if they paid the fees or he got him an extension.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um that kid ended up being like the CEO of um think of like what's a big insurance.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you know, are you familiar with IGI?
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: IGI, it's kind of like Aeon or like just a big insurance company, sure.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: The CEO of like the West African, right?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And um when my mom came to the US, was coming to the US, he actually bought her flight tickets.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: No way, like so you love that, man.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was a great story, right?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just about you know, it's it's not about what they're gonna do for you in the future, because I'm sure 99% of people they helped couldn't do anything for them, you know.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, your grandfather didn't do that for the guy, so so uh it's not yeah, yeah, it wasn't a godfather, you know.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he just did it because he wanted to help out.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so it's just the lesson is just help anybody you can because you just don't know where you're gonna be, you know, in the future.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: You don't know where people are gonna end up, you don't know.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that that was pre that sounds like or you said that your grandfather's legacy and kind of that respect that he gave everyone and the help he gave everyone led you to think about medicine.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: Did you think about that while you were still in Nigeria or after you came home or came to the United States?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a part, so I I never got to meet my grandfather.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's just it would tell me stories about him, and it would just hurt me so much that there was someone in my you know what's interesting though is that I'm supposed to be, you know, just in the belief.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how loosely how loose of a belief it is that I'm like kind of a I don't want to use the word reincarnation of my father, but some so like because it said when I so like my name, G Day, like my actual real name, is um it's kind of like my grandfather's come back kind of stuff.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's the loose interpretation of it.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because they would say when I was a kid, I used to like sleep exactly like him.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but it's like you know, gene, you know, like once you learn about genetics, you're like, yeah, there's gonna be some similarities in how people talk, you know, how people smile, you know.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's probably just genetics, but you know, the belief was oh man, because he died and I was born a few months later or something like that.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, they're like, oh, you know, it's just uh you're like the grandfather coming back.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: So um that's interesting.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's uh I actually I'm sorry to interrupt you, I'll keep you boring, but I have a relatively similar experience.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: My my dad's dad passed away not too long before I was born.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I've always had an extremely strong relation or connection to that to him, especially from the stories that I've heard.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's easy though, because I mean, I don't know if it's because of the desire to desire of people who have lost somebody to try to mitigate that loss, you know, like oh, we never really lost him, it just came back younger just to help with the grief.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that's it, but hey, whatever works, I'm down for it.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I do see that a little bit.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like I kind of have I do believe in in some sort of ways.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but it's comforting.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's comforting.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have the answers, but you know, you gotta, you know, make sense of the world the way it makes you not lose your mind, I guess.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it's an interesting topic, which is people, including myself, feel a not just a connection, but some sort of responsibility to uphold the character of kind of their grandparents.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah, because you look up to them as you know, people in your history as like as good people, you know.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: You you wanna you wanna make sure their legacy lives on.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm saying.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and yeah, and then build on it, right?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And make it better.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you can only hope you're building on good legacy.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh in my case, the legacy I heard of, you know, he was a great man, you know, and um he was just uh so it was diabetic.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he actually had one of his foot like amputated, heavy, yeah, and he just like he so he died of uh it was I think it was hypoglycemic, just an hypoglycemic episode.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just one of those things where it's like, man, literally an orange, yeah, something, you know, because it saved this man's life.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: This great man, you know, but and it's just gone like that, you know.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um I mean, it's not the most terrible of death, but you know, it just feels like no, but it's so preventable, so preventable.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thing.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's that, and that's what I always say.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just and I think that's what that's one of the things that kind of gave me that push, you know.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh when uh huh.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: When in your life did it start to give you that push?
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, honestly, I think it was probably towards the end of my i school because we never talked about this.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you probably didn't even know how he died for a long time.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I didn't know.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've heard he was always a great man, but about the death, you know, people ease you into that stuff, you know, or you start finding out later.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you start finding out family secrets, and you're like, what?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's oh, that makes sense, you know.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um I didn't learn about my grandfather's death till I was in college.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, how he died, yeah.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, nobody really, you know, even when you learn it, it's not because so anyone was trying to tell you, it's because people are just like less um, yeah, yeah.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: They're they're like it's less ush hush now because like always an adult, like they're not they don't wash themselves around you as much.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: They just say things.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah, I've been learning a lot about my history from my mom, mom because like I feel like I'm more mature now and I I uh elicit more adult information from her, you know.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I believe it.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but yeah, and when I was in when my second year in college, I think I was taking a course in uh at uh UTA.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I was still kind of like I kind of wanna, you know after high school, I was definitely sure I was in playing soccer.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I was gonna be be a doctor or play soccer.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um sophomore year of college.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, like in high school.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: By high school, I was already sure because uh I had to decide.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I ever told you that I got like uh an invitation to play to try out for the Eastern Dynamo or you didn't, but I've I've actually always wondered this question and haven't had a good way to phrase it, which is how were you not a collegiate soccer player?
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I just never had I just never had the push.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I never had so it was just my mom and I.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like everything, everything, call it everything I did was just like she doesn't know much about, you know, she she did her job.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: She, you know, she worked hard, she had no money, basically, and she you know, she brought me here for a better life, you know.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I never had that person who had been here, who knew the ways until recently.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I got in contact with my uncle who's a surgeon here.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: So back then, like we didn't really know, we didn't know the schools to go to.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: I just went to like um inner city school in San Antonio, which I enjoyed, but you know, people always tell me, man, you know, you're a smart kid.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: You should have gone to like the science school or this school that has a better funding.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, just education is education, you know, like we didn't know much about the rules and stuff.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I just never had, I feel like if my brother were here, I probably would be playing soccer.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, it's just it's just you just need that push in you know, in in the direction, you know.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and for a lot of for a long time I was just floating, you know.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, so um, it was a very passive choice.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like I decided, you know, it was just like that was where my life was headed.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, what else after high school?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: College, you know.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, even even going into college, you would there was still a possibility of playing, like I got a full ride to a couple of like D3 schools.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, and it was just like outside forces, you know.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm happy where I am, you know.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I had one of my principals be like, Hey, you know, I went to this school.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: When I went there, it was great.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think you're really smart, could you have a great future?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I would hate for you to go to this school and you know, not get the best education, you know, you know, just for soccer and stuff.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: So um I canceled my commitment because which is Oh, you were committed.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was committed.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I wasn't committed because you like you had verbally said yeah, but it's funny because I was I was supposed to be committed and then it was postponed for two weeks because the coach had surgery on his knee.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, right?
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's it's crazy.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I so I just decommitted verbally, you know, because like I could have been like I feel like the way I was raised, about being committed, I would go through with it.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like officially signed, but I wasn't, you know, it was kind of like word of mouth, like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked to him, we've been to fuse games, whatever.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it hurt a little bit because man, the money was good, but whatever.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um so but I would have been in, I would have been in, I think the number one school was in San Antonio, so I would have stayed in San Antonio, and as much as I love the city, I feel like the growth that I had, I have been like living in Dallas, meeting people like you and Cyrus and Matt, and like meeting people my friends in med school, like just being exposed to the city, I've like grown a lot more than I think I would have, you know, down there.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's a great city.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: I met a lot of people who were like family.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um but you know, those little nudges.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: And do you ever feel a responsibility now or see yourself having a responsibility in the future of finding people like yourself who came over across uh from overseas and helping them find possibility?
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, you know, I never thought of that.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I always start off by people who wanted to do medicine.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah you know, people want to do med, like like uh minorities who want to go into medicine and just don't feel like they can cut it, or I haven't seen people who would look like them, or even people who are in med school and are just struggling because I struggle the same way.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I have never thought of that.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that's that's a that's a great idea because that's where it starts.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that's wow, that's you gave me a lot to think about.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: I say that because in my mind the United States is so fantastic because it is a melting pot of so many different cultures, and yeah, it's important not just to have them here, but to have paths for them, right?
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: And like you said, I mean you live this, right?
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: You came over without a great understanding of the possibility that exists in the United States, which it does, and that was a barrier.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah, that's wow.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Are you are you narrating my life better than I am?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just listening.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's crazy because now that I'm looking at it like from the outside, I've always looked at it, you know, through my scope, but from the outside looking, it's like I literally came here with no plans, you know, it was just kind of heavy wherever the wind blew.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I wasn't glued to anything, but I didn't come here saying I was gonna be a doctor.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I came here knowing I wanted a better education, you know, and it's a possibility, but yeah, man, it was just kind of like anybody could have, I was like so raw, I was like uh just mud, you know, like anybody that had access to me could have molded me.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just glad nobody with bad intentions did.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh when I applied to SMU, it was through just like a car ride conversation with one of my coaches.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh you're gonna play soccer, right?
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a D1 school in Texas, there's two D1 schools in Texas, Houston Baptist and SME.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I ain't going to know Houston Baptist, you know.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um so you know, because I also want to be a doctor.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: So um, so it's like, well, SMU is gonna give you the best, you know, but education.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, obviously I was gonna apply to local schools just in case.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, I mean, I I I think I committed before I even heard back from SMU, I believe.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was shocked I got into SMU.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, I didn't think I was that great of a student.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was, but it's like I didn't like back home, it was just it was it was like uh you had to be.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it wasn't that if you were you were it wasn't like you were exceptionally rewarded, it was something that everybody strove, like you strived to be a good student.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, you know, I actually want to tell you a story, uh which was like a huge flex.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: Huge flex.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: So if you ever publish this, you know, people are probably gonna turn on me here.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um so uh so when I was uh when I was in the third grade, we held the we we have this thing called an award ceremony.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and you know, if you do well in English, you get a present, maybe like an English book for the next grade or something.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like another year ceremony thing.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and um that year I ended up getting about 27 awards.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: Jeez.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling the average is like one to two, you know, you get an award or two.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and my mom was so embarrassed, she left the ceremony.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because people were just looking at her like, what the hell, man?
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you gotta profit for a son.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_00: So she left early because she was so embarrassed.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you know the funny thing was once the I I just remember this, and I wasn't even part of the story I was gonna tell, but when I got home, I got beat, beaten because I was wearing my good clothes over my school clothes, like I just won 27 awards.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: And the first thing was, why are you wearing that?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what do you see my bag?
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's full of gifts.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's going on?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's wild.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and like when my mom uh like left my grade, obviously, like I think the next year I got like, oh, you know what's wild is my mom sent a letter.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: She wrote a letter before she left Nigeria to give to my teacher.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like she handed this letter, like, give this to your teacher.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my teacher came back and read it to me, and is like, just so you know, I'm not picking on you.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: Your mom literally said, treat him with an iron hand.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do not like I was like, this woman likes me, like she what's going on here, you know.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, because I would go to school, I would have like before school started, I would have a lesson, um, extra lesson, and then during during recess, I would have another lesson, and then after school, I would have another lesson, like outside of normal school activities, you know?
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, and it was it was crazy, man.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: She was not about to take any chances when she left.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, so she was like, please don't let him slip off, you know.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because I mean, I'm coming off of a championship year, you know what I mean?
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so in a freaking it's like a blowout, you know.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: So she was like, I'm leaving, like I'm the one that studies with him.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she was kind of my motivator, you know.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: I go home, I want to go play soccer.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it became a thing where you have to finish everything, you know.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like I told you, my my house was like the hub of this of the community.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, you had my friends playing soccer calling out for me, like, hey, come out, come out.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my mom's like, oh, we gotta finish the assignment right here.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's very painful, man.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: But it was interesting.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's I mean, I never really knew this side of you, which is this heavily based on your family and your connections.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like it's a lot of it's actually interesting.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's it while it does sound like quite a bit of your life was you had quite like big contingencies, like you committed to soccer and then you decommitted and went somewhere else.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like this is a big kind of random thing to happen.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and but it sounds like you had very not just loving, but invested, yeah, involved, involved.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: And even if your grandfather was gone, it seems like somehow he was still very invested in you, you know.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that's that's that's interesting, and it's just like my big contrast, and I don't know if I admit this guy, is like just like my life in Nigeria versus my life in the US, where you had all this active forces in my family, right?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then I came here and it was just kind of like it was passive, it was like and it wasn't my family, like back home, it was hands-on, like you know, people were kind of albeit I was younger, but uh people were kind of like actively controlling my life, like hey, is having these things, you know.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: But then I came here and I was like all about myself, so it was just I mean, that's one of the things I'm proud of myself that I was able to make it here with that, you know, having that, no guidance.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: That must have been a wild shift.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the I mean, all the guidance you get as a as a as a like someone from my uh my experiences, just your adults in the community say, don't do drugs, don't do alcohol, watch for you keep.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's like they only tell you what not to do.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like so what could I do?
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like what's a good point.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's so it's just though it's selling you all these things, and it it's I mean it's great.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying it didn't help.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, like I was having a conversation with one of my friends about um, so she she was with a kid, she was with uh with a boyfriend, and she like this is my best friend, and she said, Oh, I was talking to this guy, and we're talking about how we're gonna raise our kids, you know.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Well, I don't want to be a hypocrite.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and because I drink, I don't want to tell them not to drink, blah, blah, blah.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, Well, you know, I kind of want to tell them not to drink, you know, like don't drink, don't smoke.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Well, but you drink, you know, and she's like, Yeah, and and I'm like, Well, you know, it's kind of like a baseline thing, you know.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you don't tell your kids to drink, they're gonna think it's okay.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then they're gonna drink as much as they want, right?
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you tell them well, not if you tell them to drink, if you don't tell them anything, pretty much.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they just but if you tell them don't drink, even if they have a tendency to drink, it's gonna be attenuated a little bit because it's always gonna be at the back of their minds that my parents don't want me drinking.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: So they're not gonna do it in front of you, you know.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: If even if they're gonna do it in hiding, you know it's gonna it's not gonna be as much as they would if it was okay for them to.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: But I think it sounds like actually, even then, the best way is to give them another option instead of saying, instead of not telling them not to drink, and instead of saying don't drink, say go play soccer.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I mean, but you know give them another option.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: I I I get it.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people a lot of parents do use that as like um like they put them in sports and make sure they're like always know where they are.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean just being in that situation, I don't think that's gonna stop anything because you're putting them in a group of people's age and you don't know what their parents are telling them.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's only so much you can control.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you can't be like, it's either you drink or you play soccer.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like that kid must love some soccer, you know.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think any kid is gonna be so.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I I've I've been in situations where people in your that you play sports with introduce you to things like that.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, yeah.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like as an immigrant kid, you know, like the fear of God is what they instill in you, you know, it's it's fear-based, and that's why it's so different from people who were raised or were born and raised here, you know.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like the way we're raised is much, it's how you say, but it's based on fear, you know, and you know can you explain that a bit?
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: The the way we were raised was by the fear of God.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was just, I mean, you could you could go to the hospital, you know, talk to like uh I don't know, an Hispanic gynecologist who's gonna tell you her story and say, Oh, yeah, my mom said if I do this, um like they they it's like fear and guilt.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I did all this just for you to do this, you know.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I sacrificed my life, uh, you know, brought you here, right?
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_00: Go do that and this and that.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: So like every time you do something bad, it it's it's like at the back of your mind that you're hurting your parents, you know.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: They don't they don't make you feel like you can go do whatever you want.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they they make they make you feel like there's a sacrifice for you to get here.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's a sacrifice for you to get there.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I was watching a comedy show, uh, I think it's her name was Sindhu V.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_00: She's like uh an Indian, uh British Indian comedian uh that is married to a Danish guy.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know it's all over the place, and they live in the UK.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know, she was talking about how when she talks to her kids, you know, which is like a straight A student kid, and she'll be like like passive aggressive, like, oh yeah, get a B.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you only want to kill me.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: Something like that.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then the kid got a B and or got some grade, and the teacher called and is like, I don't know what's wrong with your son.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's like she's he's like super, I don't know, like he's been acting weird, and is like he didn't want to go home after we get him his test back.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't know why that turns out the kid was scared that if he went home, his mom would have died or something.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, he got the best grade in class, but like I don't know why.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then she was like, Oh, it's probably his Danish father, you know, the Danes, Vikings.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good analogy.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's exactly what you're saying, right?
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's just the kid was actually it's the fear of God, he's afraid that his mom is gonna die because yeah, so I mean that's probably an extreme example, but that's pretty much the thing.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you know, they make sure that you know whatever you do is of consequence to them, you know, but in America, it's I think it's more of it's your life, yeah.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like which sounds like your experience because you came here and it it went from tons of family involvement to just your mother, and then you had this like room open space, yeah.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: But you the the open space still came with that your mother thing, like you're the sacrifice for you to get that open space, so you know it wasn't as free as it sounds, it was just there was no guidance, there was just don't hurt your mother, don't drink, don't smoke, and it's like that's crazy, which is you had you were what 13 years old when you got here, yeah, and you came here and you had a life of guidance, went to no guidance but tons of responsibility, tons 13 years old.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, I mean, yeah, I like I had to do school all by myself, make sure I stayed on a good and narrow, and you know, it's so weird because I don't it must work, you know, I'm not all for it, you know.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: As as African kids, we we uh we don't really talk to our parents back home.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's always more of a I don't know how it is now, but it was always more of a I own you type mentality.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have conversations with our parents, we don't interesting.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost I'm your father, I'm your mother, like you listen to me type thing.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, man, the day African parents start talking to their kids, because it's always like I know what's best for you, right?
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and the thing is we are our new generation know more, and they're stuck in this old way that's not really progressive sometimes, and it's not helpful in navigating this new world, yeah, you know, not conducive for the younger generation to grow, but we don't have the resources, we need their resources, but they're like, if you're gonna want my resources, you gotta do things my way, and it's slowed a lot of growth.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's one of the little things that's hurting the country right now is like the young people are not getting to, you know, thank God for social media, right?
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_00: They can be exposed to things outside of their world.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's the only outlet like we have, but you know, the countries controlled by the old folks and the old mentality.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um man, I don't even know where I was going with this.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's no worries.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: I it I mean, it brings me to an interesting question, which is from this kind of I mean, what parts of these older generations, because I obviously you don't think, and I don't think that just because the older generations have slowed growth of the younger generations, it doesn't mean that the all of their foundations and teachings are necessarily bad.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_01: My my question would be from that older generation, especially maybe from the older Nigerian African uh the older Nigerian generation being born there, what are the most valued parts valued or valuable parts of their culture or of their generation that you think it's important for us as young people to withhold or uphold rather?
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I said like there's some positives.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so what I was trying to say when I told you about the disparity um was that about us not being able to talk to our parents.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's I was actually getting into what you're asking.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: Is I feel like it must have worked, right?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: Their way must have worked for me to be where I am.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, was it healthy?
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, psychologically, like, do we need, you know, something I was talking about?
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: A friend is I was I told a friend of mine, I was like, man, again, not not to be racial or anything, but it's like if black men, and maybe I should do a soft set now and say if African men should go to therapy, the therapists are gonna need therapists, you know, because of the psychological warfare that we go through, and we don't know.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um man, I've I'm having so much things, I should probably write these things down.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: But because when we were a kid, when we're kids, like the the types of like you start realizing how much is being just our programming was being made as kids.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I I don't have an example right now, but I would just think about something and be like, oh my god, they were brainwashing us, you know, like it's it's just crazy.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: But so what I was trying to say was it must have worked, right?
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_00: Or methods, there must be some method to the craziness because I am where I am today.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I somehow managed to get good grades, I somehow managed to stay in school, I somehow managed not to, you know, do drugs or get addicted to drugs and you know got into good college and got into med school.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like so with that where your country your question comes in.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's so what it can be everything for me because I still feel like some of the things are kind of iffy, you know, but it's like what part of what they did is should we keep on going?
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I don't think I have the answer for that.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think you know, they the the goals, the intentions were good, the goals they wanted to achieve were good, plus the method right.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I I would never ask you to characterize everything positive about their generation, but is there one aspect of it that you think maybe you want to uphold yourself that you respect from your your dad or your grandfather that you want to be a part of your character going forward?
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think it would be community, you know, not in the sense of family, but just because I think in the world right now, you know, when we have like nationalism and all that, people it's always us versus them and our own versus them.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like if you can grab people as your community, not just as this group of people, that group of people, and love them as your own and help them in time of need.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think my parents and their, I mean, they had their flaws, but you know, I think it was more pronounced during their days, the sense of community.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we always say there's an adage, um, like a proverb typed in when I was a kid that says, it takes a community to raise a child.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it takes a village to raise a child, like we really believe in that stuff.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it's you know, you're gonna have, and which kind of ties back into when you say a village, it's not a group of homogeneous people.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's like so I can think of so many people who had different impact in my life, but they were in my community.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, different people that I learned different things from.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if you if you're just raised by a family, sometimes you might not get that, you know, when I mean like family like connected by blood, you might not get you know some things, but if you open your another funny story just popped into my mind.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I really hope no one from my community hears this because some I mean, I hope you I hope you get your podcast successful, right?
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_00: Not too like some small city in Nigeria successful.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um but uh my there was this lady in my community that everyone kind of insinuates she was a witch, or something like that.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wow.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_00: And they would let me go to her house.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like she really liked me.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_00: She liked me having me over.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_00: And um my grandmother used to say, Oh, let him go.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's probably good that he's loved by the witch.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_00: He's at least he's protected, you know, and it's like it's it sounds dangerous, but I see I see the method to a man.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, hey, you know, if he's loved by the worst thing you can imagine, you know, probably you know, let him stay there or whatever.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's it's wonderful.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: I and I really enjoy hearing this aspect.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think building connections is really strong or a really strong value.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: And especially I love the perspective, then, that it's kind of maybe a reason why you as an adult build a strong community is because of how it will raise or help raise the youth in that community.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like that becomes a responsibility of us as adults as we start to settle down in areas, it becomes our responsibility to build an inviting community or a strong community so that the the kids and the youth who are raised in that community rate can go abroad or wherever at 13 and still have the values of that community that might help them that lead them to success.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I never thought it that wide.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'll be honest with you, it's my my thinking was so primitive.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like, you know, if if you have a family who's super into hiking and outdoor stuff, you know, and you have a family who's into sports, and you know, your kids can always, I mean it's probably a simple analogy, but your kids can get the benefit in that community of you know being sports, sportish, even though your family is not into sport, and still get the benefit of like the outdoorsy because but what you just said is it's just like a bigger, a bigger stage.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same thing, it's it's the same thing as what you were saying, it's just kind of a different way of stating it.
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, I mean, people should be open, should be exposed.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_00: Another thing we I was talking about, I was uh with a friend of mine originally was um like whenever we or she happens to travel outside of the country, she just goes through her country of origin, you know, and she's like, you know, we always tell Americans to, you know, by born and raised, to always go outside the comfort zone to take a trip, you know, to and we're like, are we being hypocrites?
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and I was like, not necessarily, because we have understood, just coming from where we're from, like we've seen the other end of the spectrum.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, so and I think that's what matters.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just because we're not going, it's like, what else are we gonna see at this point?
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously, we're gonna see something new, but it's like we understand that no matter where you go, there's gonna be rich people, poor people, middle class people.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no matter where you go, there's um there's like bad governments, there's you know, there's rich cultures, you know, there's this people have different beliefs, you know, people have different hoods, like it's not just oh America, you know what I mean?
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's other things out there, and I think that's what as long as you know that you're gonna respect other cultures, sure.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's the perspective you gain.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like if you can respect other cultures as like equal, just different, I think making bringing the um making a community is just literally a lateral, you know.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's it I mean I I grew up south of San Francisco, and right, even in San Francisco, it which is a very diverse city, there are districts, right?
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: Uh which are generally populated by certain ethnicities.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um but if you have the perspective of respect that you're talking about, the perspective of how rich their culture could be, then you kind of bring them into your community, yeah, right?
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it it honestly does not hurt, you know, it does not hurt to bring people together.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody's trying to erase anybody's cultures, you know what I mean?
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like it makes you richer, you know.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: You share ideas, like I never thought I would ever sit down with you and tell you about how I was with a witch.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, like I tell you all these things and then you like narrate it and you give me a perspective, and it just like I don't think I don't think if I was selling this to another Nigerian, I would be getting as much out of it as I can.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, that's a good point.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it can only get better because we're we're all human beings, we're one world, and we've had so many different experiences, and it's always you know, you know, the best way to learn is you know putting things, you know how they tell you like use different words to explain something, and like you know, if you can if you can give examples of a concepts, you know, you you have it down, right?
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can use if you can understand the world or nature in different perspectives of different like cultures, like it's uh it's just gonna be you know, it's it's gonna be rich.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's a powerful thought, and it's I've never thought of that analogy, right?
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_01: If you can teach a subject matter to someone, it means you have it down, right?
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm figuring out how to word this on this on the go, but it's if you can explain the perspective, if you can, I don't know if you could ever really explain the perspective of another person from another culture, but if you can understand, yeah, their culture, or if you can tell someone else about oh, I don't know, how would you I mean I think people fear the difference?
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's not it's not an easy task to explain because people fear the difference uh between the cultures, they don't they don't realize how it can be similar, like they don't realize how concepts like some places it might sound primitive, you know, like the thought of like witches, you know.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's here it's just Halloween, yeah.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but it's the concept of like you can't you can't use your prejudice on your neighbor to stunt the growth of your own child.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like you your kids are gonna learn from everybody, like from the community, you know, like your kids under understanding another culture or just being exposed to it is not about it's gonna help you understand yourself in some way, you know.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like you said, it makes you richer.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_00: It makes you rich.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's just there's gonna be a point in life where that's gonna make sense, that's gonna be helpful to you, where you're gonna be like because they've explored situations in life that you haven't.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they've they grew up with a perspective you don't, yeah.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can't experience everything, we're all sheltered, you know.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_01: And even if you travel to other countries, like you're still a tourist, you know, no matter all you want to understand, you can't have but I I think it's this it's a really tangible way of putting it.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's I grew up in an area where the line of thought is that you know, the Bay Area, startups and all that, it's you should be able to do everything yourself, right?
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_01: You should be able to build everything yourself, and it's extremely it's an extremely easy concept to understand.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh there's a project, how do I as a person build every part of it?
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then as you grow older, you realize maybe I don't have to build every part of it, maybe I build this part.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then when you take that perspective of building a building a project, even as a class project or it's a work project, you know, you do one part of it.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe your software, more maybe your project management or whatever you are, if you take that analogy and then put it into the perspective of a community, you know, your your child is being raised by you, but part of it is being done by the community.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you make a broader community, there are more perspectives that you can't do.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like you don't have the ability to do everything.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so the more perspectives you gain, maybe the better your children are raised, or the more respect they have for other cultures as they're raised.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, definitely I think it's all about communication.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh my mom was very involved uh with like, you know, when when it came to when it came to like going to church for Sunday school, you know, she would tell the Sunday school teacher, you know, hey, this is my son, watch over him.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then she did the higher iron hand treating with a I would never forget to treat him with a with an iron hand.
• 1:05:59
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Bro, what's what's going on?
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so like she was kind of involved, you know, she was kind of building that community around me without me even knowing, you know, yeah, like having these people that are gonna look out for me, uh, no matter what, and they seemed to like pay special attention to me, you know, which was very helpful.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's why I always wonder, like, I don't even know what she was doing behind the scenes here because I still oh yeah, like, how did I because there was no guidance.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's no, there's no doubt that your mom was playing playing a role.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe maybe maybe not playing.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_01: You can't you can't pull all the strings, but it sounds like she was subconsciously, it was I think it was because she could not, she didn't have the resources to be active in my life anymore.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's on you know, the four years or five years before I came, she was just trying to get a job and like you know, right a house and all that stuff, and that's what she was focused on.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_00: So she wasn't learning about the school system, you know, she wasn't learning about applications to college, like curriculum resume.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so she didn't have the resources or the knowledge to be active, but I think passively, you know, she was kind of she would tell me things maybe that I in passing that would just like get me to make sure I was making the right choices.
• 1:07:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm sure.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_01: There's no doubt.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_01: And kind of have one last question, which is thinking about this conversation or maybe in reflection over this conversation this past hour, what do you think is one lesson that people could take away from what we've been talking about?
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think just appreciate your history, your family, like and what how it is out.
• 1:07:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's good to reflect on how your parents, you know, your family, your community is uh has uh affected you or um what role they've played in your life and to make sure that you're also not being passive to your growth.
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think you should be active in your growth, but also appreciate you know what your environment is as the role your environment is played in where you are in life and how you know you are and what lessons you're gonna take, maybe to like help future generations or your kids, you know.
• 1:08:29
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:08:29
  SPEAKER_01: Taking taking from your environment and then learning that you are as an adult building an environment that other young people are gonna grow up in.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you're a product in your environment.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to make sure you you know the lessons you actually have lessons that you learned that you can use, you know, in the future and not just be passive, like, oh yeah, I'm just here because of my environment, but like what kind of lessons did it instill in you and how can I make it better and use it for my future.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_01: I want to thank Akenjide for that discussion.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think this conversation differs from some of the other episodes that I've posted.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_01: It really was just an exploration between two good friends.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that you as a listener can take a couple things from that.
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_01: First, maybe this just serves as motivation to go and do this with your good friends.
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_01: No matter how long you've known someone, there's a perspective or experience that they have that you don't know about and might learn from.
• 1:09:33
  SPEAKER_01: All it takes is setting up a time and asking why.
• 1:09:37
  SPEAKER_01: Second, Akenjide's message about appreciating where you come from is important.
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_01: Our history is filled with great and not so great moments, but it happened, it's real, we can't take it back.
• 1:09:49
  SPEAKER_01: All we can do is look at it and see what parts we liked and how we can build on those to make our future better for ourselves, for the communities that we build, and for the youth that are raised in them.
• 1:09:59
  SPEAKER_01: It makes me wonder what kind of community I am actively building right now and how my actions will affect the youth of tomorrow.
• 1:10:06
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe it makes you wonder the same thing.
• 1:10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening.
• 1:10:13
  SPEAKER_01: If you liked this episode of Seeking Authenticity, that's freaking awesome.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_01: All I want to ask of you, the listener, in return for the time and effort I put into making it, is that you take a deep breath.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean really breathe.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Breathe so that it stretches out your shoulders and your back and your chest and pushes out your stomach.
• 1:10:32
  SPEAKER_01: No more of these shallow, bullshit breaths.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_01: They're barely keeping you alive, my friend.
• 1:10:37
  SPEAKER_01: And after you exhale, go out and soak up today.
• 1:10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because in the end, your actions and the way they interact with the world and the people around you right now are all you have in this life.
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_01: So be authentic with them.
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Peace.