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Raising Children In A Digital World · Main Thing Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Main Thing Podcast with Pastor Steve, equipping you to respond and thrive in the world we live in today.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: Keep the main thing the main thing has been a saying that Pastor Steve has told for decades.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: It means no matter what is happening around us, Jesus is what we need to have front and center in our lives.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: There couldn't be a more powerful reminder for us to recall in today's divisive and dark culture.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: From foundational truths and scripture to the hot topics of today's culture, allow this podcast to inspire and motivate you on your faith journey.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Main Thing Podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're saying it's inspired by Pastor Steve since he's not with us this week.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: But uh I do have Chet.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Chet, how are we doing?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Doing good.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Good to be.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Good.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Good.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So last time we talked about families and discipling our families.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're gonna go a little deeper talking about some technology and uh some digital issues we have in the world today.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna start by reading Philippians 4 8.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: All right, and kind of this will be kind of our our uh background verse for today.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, our main idea today technology is a tool, but without wisdom, it becomes a disciple maker, competing for our children's hearts.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: What's your initial thoughts on that main idea today?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Chet, what you got?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Technology is a tool, but it can be a very evil tool.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Makes a wonderful helper, a terrible master.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So we're, you know, we were talking about families uh and and kind of how we deal with that as parents.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: What's the best way to parent our our kids uh through technology?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So just I guess to start off with today, let's just talk about social media and the and the addiction people have.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because I do think it's an addiction.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh have you ever heard of Doom scrolling?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Have you have you paid attention to someone who's who's swiping through reels?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Have you have you like really looked at them?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: Probably not.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm a people watcher, and I was driving down the road Monday evening, and this just gentleman, his house was like right in front of where the street would turn.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I see him, and you see the thumb, the the notorious thumb action.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: He's probably in his mid-60s.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I was time this is weird, okay.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I was timing how long it would take for his thumb to swipe, and it was about a second and a half, okay?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: So at 65 years old, he has an attention span of a second and a half with the reels.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine a 10-year-old or a 12-year-old, how damaging that is just for his or her brain that's developing.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's difficult.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, studies have come out.
• 2:51
  unknown: Right.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Kids who are on social media and scrolling have much less of an attention span than, say, a kid who spends their time reading books and actually studying.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it can be very dangerous for a young mind, especially.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um and and look, when we say the word addiction, I think that's an intentional word there.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I I think we've come to a point for obviously not everybody, but for some people, it is an addiction.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot uh you cannot just stop it right away.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it it just continues on and on.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what does that what do you think that does to a child in their faith, a child in their just development?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it keeps them from hearing the voice of God.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: I I we are conditioned as a people right now in this society to be so occupied with our our eyes upon a screen that we miss the still voice of the Holy Spirit a lot because of that.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, look, let's let's play uh Debbie Downer here for a little bit.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: What are the what are those specific issues that we've got to to watch that's causing uh that digital and technology is causing our lives?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, like one one thing that comes to mind is like an obsession with gaming.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh what what are some more do you say?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you got the big one, pornography, which is not just men or boys.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Studies are coming out that girls, young girls and women are big consumers to the pornographic industry.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what we need to understand is that when someone watches that, they are fueling child sex trafficking.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I know they may not be looking at child pornography, but when you are giving to that industry, when you are watching that that video and giving that person or that industry clicks, you are fueling that market.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it is evil.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: It is so evil.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's the biggest one that comes to mind.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: I I think another one, I I think it could be emails, it could be text messages, the constant interaction, the constant, you know, pings and dings and what's next.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it's kind of like a it's like a rush, you know, that you get.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And look, it's funny you you talk about that rush um because uh a while back, three or four uh years ago, maybe even more, uh I liked being on Twitter.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And there is a rush when you see people reacting to something you said.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody out there heard what I said.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is amazing.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they interacted back, you know.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I I remember I tell you a specific memory with one of my daughters.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: They were on um, I guess it would have been uh Instagram, but she was showing me what what she was watching, and there was this this this one kid had put, I guess, the live video out, or however you do it, you know, when you're on live.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And the it was the weirdest thing.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: He's just sitting there combing his hair, and the hearts are just popping.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what have we done?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: What have we come to in this world?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm asking her, what's the point of this?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, to get the hearts, and I'm like, Oh, your hair is so beautiful.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it it was a strange thing, and I don't I don't mean to I don't I'm I'm not trying to put down the the kid with on the video, but you could tell that was that was important, yeah, you know, yeah to him at that moment.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think almost, especially the younger generation, they place all of their stock in the approval of people on social media, which is so dangerous because what someone says or does on social media a lot of times, I say a lot of times because there are people that will actually do it, but a lot of times it's not what they would do or say in real life.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: I have met, I know a few that are true and true.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: What they say and do on social media is exactly what they say and do in real life, but for the most part, yeah, they don't.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, yeah.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you mentioned pornography.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, when I was in high school, if I had tried to look at porn, I would have had to ride my bike downtown.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'd have had to go into uh the the news and and drugstore that was downtown.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I would have had to somehow sneak past the proprietor into the back room where he kept all that stuff.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Gotten it, somehow convinced him I was 18, and then left.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it was very, very difficult for a teenage boy back then.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me this is in the 80s, so you know it's a long time ago.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think what scares me the most for for all men and all boys, uh, and I'm I'm talking about us specifically simply because that's God created us as visual creatures, right?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, is how how it is right there, you know.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how do we guard against that that uh that evil, like you said?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be careful how I say this because um there are many adults that are still addicted to pornography and they have been for the last two decades.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think they are still caught up in that addiction because they are not truly ready to surrender and make restitution.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever a spouse completes the act of pornography or even just watches it on a regular basis, they are essentially cheating on their spouse.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: You can twist that however you want, but scripture makes it clear that the marriage bed is to be undefiled.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think for many people, they admit it to God, they confess it to God, and they confess it to someone else, but to confess it to their spouse is that one sin that they're gonna harbor into their grave.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think true victory comes until they are willing to make to make true restitution and seek reconciliation.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: What happens neurologically is that whenever you watch pornography, the serotonin shoots unnaturally fast to the prefrontal cortex.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: And what happens is that prefrontal cortex right there uh is what your you control your will.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's your will.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so the more that that serotonin hits or the dopamine hits, uh, the more it damages your willpower.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: So the more you do it, it's just like snorting cocaine.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's literally the same neurological effect.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So the more you do it, the harder it is not to do it.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: But 100% of the time, when I meet someone who is ready to be done and they're ready to do whatever it takes to seek the Lord and truly surrender it, the Lord gives victory.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: But a person truly has to be at that place where they're ready, they're ready to get rid of it.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: And this is someone coming from someone who I stopped personally, I don't mind sharing this as part of my testimony, years before I met Nicole.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so I know as a man, it is possible to be celibate with the Lord and live a life of honor and a standard by the Holy Word.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: It is possible to do that.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so this idea, this worldly idea of oh no, you can't go without it, that's hogwash.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that's Satan being a deceiver.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: So and so I guess we we kind of moved in this direction a little bit, but what's some practical things to do?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: We we repent, we confess.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: What's practical from there?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I think especially this is for this is for youth, and this is for adults.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's 2 Corinthians 11 or 2 Corinthians 7.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have to look it up again.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: But uh Paul writes that with every temptation, the Lord provides a window of escape.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember the Sunday that happened for me.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was after church, and um I had a a very strong temptation, and that verse came to mind, and I got a text message from a friend, and I ended up going to do something that afternoon.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: But from that day, I never looked back because the Lord's word said one thing.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: I saw it come to fruition, and it was true and proven right.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so from that moment on, I never looked back and I thought, if God's word says something, I believe it 100%, you know.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I I think that's a start uh to confess it, to repent from it, to seek restitution if you are married.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I would suggest not to do that without counsel.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: That needs to be done.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to just like, hey, guess what I've been doing for the last three years?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like you don't want to just come off like that.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I think there's a way to do it with love and integrity and and victory in that.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you you talk about repentance, and I and I think one of the things into that, and this is this is any sin, by the way, is bearing fruit consistent with repentance.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: When when John's doing his baptism and the Pharisees and Sadducees come, and he gives them a good old-fashioned uh Old Testament insult and says, You root a vipers.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, who told you to come and repent?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he says, because you don't have you will not bear fruit consistent with repentance.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I we talked about this last night in our our Wednesday night class, not not regarding pornography, but just uh sin in general, is repentance is shown when you bear fruit consistent with that.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, uh it changes and and I'm even thinking about things like uh your wife has full access to your phone.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: You you don't take your phone with you back in the back of the house or something like that, you know, showing that I'm willing to do whatever, whatever it takes.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, that's right.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: There there are ways, and we have to be even be careful with that because there are ways that you can hide sites in apps.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: So, like there are even Bible apps out there where like you go to Proverbs, whatever, and there's the the hidden images or hidden videos in those apps.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you really wanted to, you can get around it.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like Covenant Eyes, for example, is probably the best product out there to safeguard you from that kind of stuff.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: But there's ways around that too.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: So at the end of the day, you have to be willing and ready.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I think from a parent's perspective and a child's access, um my kids are gonna be miserable because they're gonna, they're gonna be older and not have a phone.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I just I've come I've come to this determination.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's inevitable at some point.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like you have older kids, like I know you understand that it at some point it's gonna happen.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I will do everything that I can to try to shield them from that right now.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, I first saw uh ungodly pictures in video when I was 11.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it never goes away.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's the thing.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like once it's in your brain, it's there, it affects you your life, it affects your mental state, it affects your your future marriage, it affects it affects everything.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: And um it's just dangerous.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think we need to safeguard that and be very, very cautious.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, you brought up you know, smartphones at a young age.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I this is one of those things where it's an extremely wise idea, but we we can't put an age on it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I I've heard people say if you give your child a phone before this age, you are sinning.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um But I wouldn't so I wouldn't say you know, the age is the age, whatever you decide.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: But how do you put how do you first of all stave that age off as long as possible?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: And two, um why is that so important that that young kids not have a have a phone?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like you to answer the first question because you have older kids.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you this.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: So our our age of phone has has moved back with every child.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: With our older kids trying to think of the best way uh to say this, it just can become uh consuming if you're not careful.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so we try as best we can not to have screens for our younger ones.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they they they they watch some shows on TV, uh, they will occasionally play a game on the phone, but we try very hard for that not to be the go-to.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like, oh, you're driving me crazy, take the phone.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, or take the iPad.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so that that age has moved back simply because I don't care who you are, I don't care how old you are, it can become addictive.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, and so we have tried to move that age back as far as possible.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I I don't know if people know this or not, but like meta, TikTok spend millions a year or neurological studies on how to get you addicted because they want you to spend as much time on their apps as possible.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so this idea of it being an easy thing to quit, sometimes it's not for people.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I think that's when prioritizing certain things in your life is important.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like for me, I have this app called Be Present, and it shuts off all the apps I want it to shut off at a certain time to where I just like like I can I have to manually go in and like redo some things in order to have access, but it helps me to stay focused at night uh with my kids, you know, like no Facebook.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I probably need to put my email app on that as well because sometimes I'll be checking emails late at night, which I really don't need to be.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: So there are things that I think we need to do and put into place.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and one more thing on the the phone issue with young kids.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: I I think most parents think, well, I need to have access to my kids.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I had a beeper ride in my neighborhood at 15 years old, right?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom, once the street lights came on, my mom beeped me and I knew I had about 10 minutes to get home.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, it was gonna be bad, right?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: Right, yeah.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, like kids have been surviving without cell phones for a long time.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so if my kid doesn't have a cell phone, it's gonna be okay.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: But if I absolutely have to have a cell phone for my kid, there are options out there, like the Gab phone, where they don't have access to internet and they can only text or call the numbers you put in there.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: So there's options, you know, if that were the case.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's that's so funny you say that.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I remember telling uh kids in my ninth grade class a couple years ago that uh when when my because we were having that discussion, and that was unfathomable to them that they wouldn't have a phone.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I said, let me tell you something.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: When I was in 10th grade playing baseball at Bay High School in Penwall City, when when practice was over, I walked down the street two blocks over to get to the nearest payphone, called my parents, and walked back to the baseball field.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: You can do it, you know.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Wasn't that dangerous?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, you know, right.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it was or not, but we we lived without phones, you know.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: So it's amazing.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: So some of the some of the dangers.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: What what's maybe the danger of unlimited internet access?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we're probably kind of reiterating some of the things we've already done.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we already talked about this morning, but what about that unlimited access?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: What what happens there?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: I honestly think any access is a danger.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it doesn't have to be unlimited because you literally need five seconds to look up something that's gonna scar your mind forever.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And not to mention these uh and and I hate to go to extremes, Brent, but I feel like it's necessary because if someone's watching this, this may be the only moment we have.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: But when whenever a child predator is picked up, they all say the same thing.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: It started with just one picture of two adults, and then over time, that sneaky snake, the demonic spirits, the evil of the age, will bring you ever so closer to the pit of hell.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the things that you once thought was detestable becomes desirable.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't take but a second.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I think limiting data per se for our kids isn't really what we want to be focused on.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: We want to be focused on their access.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that that's just that's anything that's not good for us, is our our brain needs more and more to get the same high, so to speak.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, because I'm I'm my understanding is that's a principle with alcohol, it's a principle with drugs, it's a principle with pornography.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: I I think back uh back in the day, once again, um and look, it's not just technology.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you're familiar with with the name Ted Bundy, yeah, you know, I'm very familiar with that simply because he was in Florida when he was executed and uh he he did a uh an interview with James Dobson right before uh he was executed.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Only Dobson was the only one was able to interview him.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: And for him, it started with he found a he found a playboy in a trash heap behind his his house, you know.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not just digital, but that terribly evil life began with with that, you know.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and let's even like fast forward to 2026.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Scripture clearly states that the birth pains will continue, meaning the world's gonna get worse before the new age, before Jesus comes back.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we're especially the last five years, the Lord has been on an exposure campaign.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we have seen more evil and wickedness just within the last five, 10 years than than ever before, because it's all coming to light.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: And we're seeing people fall deeper and deeper into darkness, which I think I know I know young parents think this just like me, but whenever we're hanging out with someone who's much older and they say, Well, back in my day, I start thinking, Well, this isn't your day.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's uh it's a different day, which requires different measures to shield our kids than it was, say, 30 years ago.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like for me, riding, I used to ride my, I I my parents told me not to, but I used to ride my bike miles and miles away from home and uh made it back safe every night.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: But would I let my nine-year-old do that today?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: Not a chance.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Heck no.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not a chance.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: I I can't even imagine.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so accountability for our kids.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Lack of accountability is a is a huge pitfall, not just for for kids.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think it is for adults too.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta have accountability.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: But how do we hold our kids accountable?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of what kind of things practically do you think we need to do to keep our kids accountable in this area?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: Bryn, I'll be honest with you, I struggle because I know that once my kids go to youth, which is only gonna be a couple more years, their friends are gonna show them things on their phone.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: I I can't stop them from going to youth.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: I can't stop.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Them from going to the ball games with their friends to play.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't, I can't watch their every move.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: So as a father, I struggle because I know the moment is coming soon where they are going to be influenced by the darkness.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that really grieves me because I want to protect my kids.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a protector.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I've always fought for the underdog.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: I just, it's just my personality.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: And to see my kids be so vulnerable and about to be into, about to go into a world that they know nothing about, which is why I start talking to them about these things years before I hope they're influenced by it.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: It it scares me, it worries me.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have an answer.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I did, but it that fear, I have fear most definitely about that, about that accountability because in my mind I can't control it.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Other than not giving them a phone, but they're gonna see their friends' phones.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I man, I so agree with you what you said.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Those conversations have to happen beforehand.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Those conversations have you cannot wait anymore until it comes up.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I I know growing up, uh, it was always kind of a joke that your your dad had the the birds and the bees in a conversation with you, right?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: But for the most part, it was a it was a there was a an accepted sexual sexual ethic.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and that accepted sexual ethic today is completely obliterating.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so what would have been reprehensible in 1989 is commonplace today.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: So we you're right, we gotta have those conversations beforehand.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we have to be very clear, you know, this is why this is so important.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can absolutely ruin your future marriage, you can ruin your life with this.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is not this is not something uh this that can be cast aside easily.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I I I think the number one helpful thing for me is I approach the conversations with my kids based on when they see it, not will they.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna happen.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I I I try to keep that in my mind and not be um in denial about the reality.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right, and I and I think when you have that that mindset, um it it does make some uh some parenting changes in how you would handle it.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Our kids have never had a computer in their room, they've never had a uh TV in their room, you know, that had um that was hooked up to anything.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Uh just because we've been there as as teens and college students too.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: We know.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, we we know what can happen there.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: So talk about the difference between consuming content versus being discipled by content.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I think the main difference is what am I getting out of this content?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh is it is it encouraging me?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Is it helping me in my walk with the Lord?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: If it's not encouraging me with my in my walk with the Lord, then I'm just consuming something.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm having, if my blood pressure is rising while I'm watching something, I am consuming something I shouldn't be consuming.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, for example, every once in a while on Facebook, I walk across these like fight videos or cops like apprehending somebody, and I find myself getting like my my hands get sweaty.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, like I'm in it, right?
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's not a good response.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to have that response.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so those are indicators that for me personally is when enough is enough.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: I shouldn't be doing this right now.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's other things I could be looking at.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: And um it being helpful to my walk.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh for me, I like to publish content because I know we're we're at a we're we're having there's a media war right now.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: And there's there's a lot of good and there's a lot of bad.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I like to post and publish things like this that actually add to the value instead of hurting people, you know.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm a young parent out there.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an old parent out there, which is what I am.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: But what what what kind of boundaries are just some good practical boundaries that that are wise to to put with our our kids in technology?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll I'll speak for the younger family because my kids are not.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: I have one uh pre-adolescent and we're starting to experience the emotions with that.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: But uh I I think the main thing is agreeing and having peace on a plan with your spouse, making sure that we're on the same page.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: And in in our home, my kids know that Nicole comes first.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so if me and her agree on something, the kids already know there's no discussion that's gonna happen because mom and dad agree on it.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: So Nicole and I have agreed that we're not even gonna talk about cell phones until they're or even the gab the gab phone until 1314, you know.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we we that's what we decided.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's the boundary right now, and that's where we are.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: Now come three more years, we'll have another discussion and pray about it and see where we're at as a family.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, along with that, I I want to recommend a book.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's by a guy named Andy Crouch.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's called The Techwise Family.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: And and their family came up with their Ten Commandments for technology.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't agree with all of them, but I think that's a good place to start if you can sit down and create your family's Ten Commandments or however many commandments in technology.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and like I say, uh, I I think it's great stuff that he has.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: I would change a few things, but yeah, that that's based on our family, you know.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's I think that's a great boundary to have that conversation and know when the boundary even begins.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's right.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and and look, it's even we uh we have an LG Smart TV, okay?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: And we have a Prime account.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: When I click on that Prime account, I cannot control what title screen comes up for the next movie.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: And some of them are seductive.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it makes me mad when I can't even control my own TV on the wall.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I turned it on the other night to find a kids' movie, and I was talking to the kids, and Nicole was like, Chet, and I look up and I'm like, oh my goodness, it's like soft porn on the TV screen, just turn it on Prime.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it it, as everyone can tell, that frustrates me.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like one of those things, it's a perfect example of you don't even need a phone, you just turn on your family TV and you can see stuff that you don't want your nine-year-old boy seeing.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Speak to this, because I think this is such an intriguing conversation that we have that to me, um, it's wild that we even have these kind of conversations.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you you have the the quintessential homeschool family, okay, that has no streaming.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Back in the day, they had no cable, they had no TV.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Minimum.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or or uh this family says, you know what, we're not gonna watch TV.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have uh we're gonna have videos that we've we all know are good, and that's all our kids are gonna watch.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then you have the next person come along and say, but they've got to know about the real world, right?
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: They've got to know what's out there.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about that.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: What how how do we balance that?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, is do we need to let kids know all the awful things that are out there?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Do we pretend they don't exist?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: I personally don't want my kids to be embarrassed when they're hanging out with their kids, their friends.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I I want them to know about the world.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's just me.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because I've met a lot of homeschoolers who are weird, and I don't want my kids to be weird, if that makes sense.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: No, that makes perfect sense.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: I I want them when their friends start talking about something, I want them to be like, I got you, bro.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: I know exactly what you're talking about.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that that's my thing.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I want them to know.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: And we were at the we we took a vacation a couple of weeks back and we were at the beach, and uh there was this one person that walked by and they should have had more clothes on.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna be honest, okay?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: And all my boys, like they like they were in sequence.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: They looked and then they looked back at me all at the same time, like trying to figure process what was going on.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Something tells me this ain't good for me to keep looking dad.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna turn away.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't, it took everything I had not to just bust out laughing right there.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, yeah.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, we had a conversation with McConnell.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: Be like, look, guys, sometimes people need to wear a little bit more clothes, but that's the choice that they make, you know?
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 31:03
  unknown: Yep.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, goodness.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I I think I said this at the beginning of this podcast that technology is a great servant.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's a terrible master.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 31:14
  unknown: Yeah.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: How do we make it a great servant?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think we make it a great servant by focusing more on our relationship with the Lord than we do with tech, social media, and all those things.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I I'll just admit it's a struggle for me.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, we just went through a season of building a campus, and I've, you know, through the last six months, everybody had to have my cell phone because of just organizing and things.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so I didn't through the last six months, I I used to usually set my phone on do not disturb, you know, in the evening time, but it's just it's basically been, I've been available every day, weekends and all.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so right now I'm at a season in my life where that's I'm about to put some more parameters in because I can tell it's like I I have a habit of after I eat dinner or before I eat dinner, I check emails, check test text messages.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: And um, if someone really needs to get in touch with me, they'll call me or they'll call Nicole if it's really it's really an emergency, you know, if it's really serious.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: So for me personally, the parameters that I set are these hard lines that hey, after this time, I'm not picking up my phone.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be present for my family.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: As you were saying that it brings up something to mind that I that I think I kind of deal with.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: If I leave my phone in the bedroom and then I'm out and about, there comes a point where I panic.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh my God, what did I miss?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and and I'm I'm yeah like, what if the church burned down?
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know about it, you know.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: And and that's it, it makes me sad that that's my mindset.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I left my phone alone for two hours.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so yeah, I I I think that's um good.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like you say, I know there's there's a few certain people that if it was an emergency, they they know how to get up with me.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I let let's let's clarify something for the listeners.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I've said this on previous podcasts, but when you're in ministry, you know, your personal life is ministry, and ministry is your personal life.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: There it's it's not as easy for us as some to separate work and pleasure time.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: That line blurs.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of blurs.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so I try to I try to be easy on myself.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: Luckily, I have a wife that 100% supports me in my calling, and I'm so grateful because and her supporting me is a calling.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, God has called her for that too.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: But like I try to be easy on myself because sometimes I can like really beat myself up about it.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I just have to remember that I love what I do and I'm working, I'm working out my own salvation and I'm working out my own calling and my own ministry.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: This is how I know it's gone too far, though.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: When I'm sitting on the couch in the evenings and my kids are talking to me and I'm looking at my phone, that's an immediate red flag.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, wait a minute.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: Nah, that's it's gotta go, you know.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Any last thoughts?
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Anything we didn't we didn't get to that you wanted to make sure.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think we covered everything.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Look, if I could say one last thing.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: When God changes our hearts, we can put all the rules we want to.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: But if our hearts aren't changed, those rules are not gonna be, are not really gonna matter.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: And throughout this conversation, I keep thinking about Romans 12, one.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, do not do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I just as we talk, I'm reminded the more we rely on digital age and technology, where that's what's most important to us, the less we'll be able to be transformed by the renewing of our mind because our mind will be shaped by something uh that's right, something else.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, so I think that's the thought I want to leave.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so glad you guys were with us today.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: Hope this was helpful.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: It was helpful for me.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: And uh we uh we pray we'll see you next time.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: Take care.