Latest / Nick and Kristen in the Podcast / Secret Eating Challenge

Transcript

Secret Eating Challenge · Nick and Kristen in the Podcast

• 0:00
  So Kristen doesn't know it, but we're going to talk about a
• 0:03
  secret rice eating competition that's happening in China.
• 0:06
  And I thought it would be funny if I could try to eat this
• 0:09
  entire bowl of Cheez its while she's talking or while we're
• 0:13
  doing the podcast and then see if she can catch me or not.
• 0:16
  I don't think she's going to be able to do it.
• 0:17
  I'm pretty slick. I'm pretty quick.
• 0:19
  They're crunchy though, so I'm worried.
• 0:20
  But all right, now, let's watch the podcast.
• 0:33
  Hello and welcome to Nick and Kristen in the podcast.
• 0:35
  I'm Nick. That's Kristen.
• 0:37
  We are a married show and we do a podcast together because we
• 0:40
  have a daughter and we have nothing to do now that we are
• 0:43
  unemployed for three months now. It's crazy, but you've finally
• 0:46
  started giving unemployment, so I'm happy.
• 0:48
  Now, yes, it was. Really backed up in Washington
• 0:50
  and we were starting to get kind of nervous.
• 0:52
  And we're nine weeks behind on unemployment.
• 0:55
  Thankfully you had a job, so we were able to survive and now,
• 1:00
  now we have that coming in and we can pay like stuff.
• 1:03
  And so that's kind of nice. So now we can buy whatever we
• 1:05
  want. New bowling all day.
• 1:07
  No, definitely not. Definitely not.
• 1:08
  No, instead we're making our own stuff.
• 1:10
  Well, Kristen's making her own stuff.
• 1:11
  So she is set off this year, 2026, to be the year that she
• 1:15
  was going to do interesting things and become a more
• 1:18
  interesting person. And one of those things was
• 1:21
  whittle a spoon, first of all. And so you're doing that today.
• 1:26
  You're going to spend all day whittling a spoon.
• 1:28
  So yeah, you won't get to see my spoon today because it's Friday
• 1:32
  and but on Monday, I promise first thing we'll show off my
• 1:35
  spoon. Now I want to be really clear
• 1:38
  about this. This was booked before we got
• 1:40
  let go from radium because it sounds ridiculous there.
• 1:45
  I'm going into Portland and they're giving us like, this
• 1:48
  chunk of wood, and the teachers going to teach us how with
• 1:51
  building tools, we can take just a chunk of wood and we can carve
• 1:54
  it into like one of those wooden cooking spoons.
• 1:57
  And at the time when I had a radio job, I was like, well,
• 2:01
  doesn't this sound whimsical? This is.
• 2:04
  Lovely. And now that I'm like working
• 2:07
  overtime as a therapist, I'm like, I would kill to not have
• 2:10
  anything to do. Like I wish I didn't have to go,
• 2:13
  but I already paid for it and I might as well go.
• 2:15
  Yeah, you tried to get your money back, but it's like once
• 2:18
  you made because they, you know, they probably have a lot of
• 2:20
  people cancel because it's not. Cheap.
• 2:23
  It wasn't cheap like at all. Because it's like, you know,
• 2:25
  you're getting six hours of instruction.
• 2:27
  You're sitting there all day whittling the spoon.
• 2:29
  I'm so curious to see how this is going to go.
• 2:31
  Me too. So yeah.
• 2:32
  And they wouldn't let you get your money back because they're
• 2:34
  like, once they got you, they're like, no, no, don't even think.
• 2:37
  Once you start thinking about this, most people cancel.
• 2:39
  Well, yeah, because it seems so ridiculous.
• 2:41
  And now that like money is like a finite thing.
• 2:45
  I was like 2 weeks ago, I looked, I was like, can I get my
• 2:47
  money back? And they were like, Nope, you
• 2:49
  can only get your money back 24 hours after the initial booking.
• 2:53
  Like it was like, Oh my God, what did I pay for?
• 2:55
  Oh please, no I don't. Want to do that?
• 2:56
  You didn't panic quick enough. No, so I'm going to be whittling
• 2:59
  a spoon and I'm curious like, you know, I don't know, I've
• 3:04
  gotten into like very, I've been calling them like analog hobbies
• 3:08
  like these, these things that don't require like any digital
• 3:11
  things. Like I made bread the other day.
• 3:13
  I've been sewing a lot. Now I'm going to be whittling a
• 3:16
  spoon. It's like I'm going back to the
• 3:18
  Pioneer days. Yes, but I don't feel like
• 3:21
  you're going to come out of this unscathed.
• 3:23
  You and knives scare me. And so this will be a very sharp
• 3:27
  knife that will be the whittling wood down.
• 3:30
  You have a shaky hand like it's going to be.
• 3:34
  It's going to be interesting to see how smooth we can get that
• 3:36
  spoon, first of all, and how many cuts you're going to come
• 3:39
  back with. Jagging.
• 3:41
  Oh, WAVY. Splinters all in it.
• 3:43
  I know that's what I'm worried about too.
• 3:44
  Like I'm obviously worried that, you know, hour one, I'm going to
• 3:48
  cut myself yeah, but then you know what?
• 3:50
  Maybe I just get to go home after.
• 3:51
  That maybe, yes, that'd be sweet.
• 3:53
  Got your finger out perfectly. Oh no, I'm going.
• 3:55
  To go home because it's a bar, because Lilies has 1/2 day
• 3:59
  tomorrow. She was our seven-year old, so
• 4:01
  you. Should be happy though that you
• 4:02
  get. To yeah, but I didn't know that
• 4:04
  when I booked it. And so it's like I'm going to be
• 4:06
  gone all day and then the class ends at 4 in Portland and then
• 4:09
  driving home is going to be like an hour drive.
• 4:12
  So it's just going to be kind of like one of those things I'm not
• 4:15
  really looking forward to, but I can I show something that I have
• 4:18
  made. Yes, of course.
• 4:19
  So you said you do all these fun little things and you worked
• 4:23
  really hard on this. This took about what, like a
• 4:25
  week for you to work on? Yeah.
• 4:27
  I mean, so like, OK, so I, I've been really into sewing.
• 4:30
  Yeah. And I saw this thing on TikTok
• 4:33
  of this woman that made a purse that looks like a house.
• 4:36
  And I was like, that's so not something I would use, but it's
• 4:39
  adorable and I have all the things, so I might as well make
• 4:42
  it so I made it. And so this is my purse that
• 4:45
  looks like a house. And so it has like a little kind
• 4:52
  of thatch root. If you're just listening to
• 4:54
  this, this is not going to be super fun.
• 4:56
  But it has like little snaps right here.
• 4:58
  So if you want to open it up and make it more like tote baggy,
• 5:02
  you can. So it's like that.
• 5:04
  Don't you laugh at me. It's cute and.
• 5:06
  Inside is like all lined and I have a strap if I want to use it
• 5:11
  like as a strap or whatever. But this was probably one of the
• 5:15
  most difficult things I've made just simply because of the are
• 5:20
  you sucking on something? No.
• 5:22
  What are you doing? What's in your mouth?
• 5:26
  Nothing. What's in your mouth?
• 5:27
  What? What are you eating?
• 5:29
  Oh. Jeez it.
• 5:31
  What do you mean? Why are you eating it's?
• 5:33
  Part of a bit what you caught me.
• 5:37
  What? Because you're going to be all
• 5:38
  bored? Was that the joke?
• 5:39
  No, that you were going to be bored while I was talking about
• 5:41
  things that interest. Me.
• 5:41
  No, that's not at all. OK, So what?
• 5:43
  What are you eating then? So there's a competition in
• 5:47
  China? Anyways, by the way, that's my
• 5:48
  house that I was super proud. Of I know you should keep going.
• 5:51
  No, you weren't supposed. You weren't supposed to catch
• 5:52
  me. Keep going.
• 5:53
  But no. But you're like over there
• 5:54
  crunching and stuff. It's a little distracting.
• 5:57
  Yeah, I can tell if you're gonna well.
• 6:00
  And I know what your face looks like when you're eating and
• 6:02
  sucking on something. It's like all of a sudden the
• 6:04
  cheeks get a. Little I know you can see me.
• 6:06
  So this was a, this was bold going in that I was going to try
• 6:08
  this and I was working on how I was going to do it.
• 6:11
  But it, it has nothing to do with making fun of you or
• 6:13
  anything. I love your house.
• 6:15
  But while you were talking, it would keep you distracted
• 6:17
  because there's a, there's a competition in China.
• 6:19
  It's a competition where people are trying to eat rice and not
• 6:23
  get caught. Well, that's pretty obvious, I.
• 6:24
  Mean well, the teacher. There's a teacher walking
• 6:26
  around. Oh, and they have to catch them.
• 6:28
  Yeah. I mean, I just feel like every
• 6:33
  other country but ours is just living a whimsical life.
• 6:37
  Yeah. Like so they eat like why is
• 6:38
  this a thing? They have 10 minutes to finish
• 6:40
  the rice without getting caught. And if he got kicked out?
• 6:43
  Oh, because he's got all over face.
• 6:45
  But like he hadn't be caught chewing or anything like that.
• 6:47
  And so so I thought it was funny.
• 6:48
  So the bit was going to be that I was going to eat something
• 6:51
  while you were like and see if I could see if I could eat a whole
• 6:54
  thing of cheez its. Well, there's no way.
• 6:57
  I know stuff. I was going to do marshmallows
• 6:59
  but I felt like that was easy because I can like tuck little
• 7:02
  marshmallows in there and was like it's got to be it's funnier
• 7:04
  the more difficult it is. And so I went with Cheez its I
• 7:07
  got 3 down before you notice something.
• 7:09
  No, I noticed immediately and I was like, there's no way he's
• 7:12
  eating something. And then I was like utterly
• 7:14
  annoyed. So I was like, all right, well,
• 7:16
  I'm going to call him out for it.
• 7:17
  All right. Well, because I was talking
• 7:18
  about something that I enjoyed. No, I know.
• 7:20
  Yes. And I'm happy that you were
• 7:21
  talking about and I was. I'm very happy.
• 7:24
  I want to keep talking about it, but you got.
• 7:25
  To no, it's over. No, no.
• 7:27
  But show me the house. No, I'm done.
• 7:28
  No, no, no. You have to show me the house.
• 7:29
  Again, no. This is leading me to do a next
• 7:31
  thing that I I I talked to you about this earlier like this
• 7:36
  week or whatever, like you've become an old man in terms of
• 7:41
  like disgusting hobbies or disgusting things.
• 7:44
  Like I could hear you crunching from over here and your.
• 7:47
  And your. Sneezes have become utterly
• 7:50
  ridiculous. Like all your sneezes always
• 7:53
  were loud and I'm always immediately annoyed when you
• 7:58
  sneeze because you, you yell afterwards and no, no, no, hold
• 8:03
  on, I'm going to you sneeze. And then you immediately let out
• 8:07
  like an expletive. Like very loudly.
• 8:09
  Only after like the 20th sneeze. No, after the very first one you
• 8:12
  always do it. Like you're just so disgusted
• 8:16
  with yourself for sneezing even though it's like a normal thing.
• 8:18
  Like you'll sneeze and you'll be like God and like you'll scream
• 8:23
  it and I'm just like bro it's a sneeze.
• 8:26
  But in the last, I want to say like 8 months, the sneezing has
• 8:31
  ramped up to the point where it's so loud that it startles
• 8:35
  me. And like, I literally jump, Lily
• 8:37
  is jumping. And then you get all like
• 8:40
  annoyed and offended that we had a reaction.
• 8:42
  You're like, what? Am I not allowed to sneeze in
• 8:44
  here? And it's like, when did the
• 8:46
  sneeze decibel level just skyrocket?
• 8:49
  Well, there was. There was a decision to stop
• 8:53
  holding it back so I don't push it out and I don't try to make
• 8:58
  it any more than it is. Like I just sneeze and not kind
• 9:03
  of like, you know how people like they tense up and they
• 9:05
  sneeze and keep it in. It was starting to hurt my chest
• 9:08
  when I did that. And so like I was the getting
• 9:10
  actively pain, active pain in my.
• 9:13
  Chest. And in my arm, well, no, no, so
• 9:15
  and then, And then every time I would do that, I would bite the
• 9:19
  back of my tongue, because my tongue for some reason slides in
• 9:22
  between my teeth now when I sneeze.
• 9:24
  Which is the weirdest thing. Like, are you just walking
• 9:27
  around with a floppy tongue in your mouth just like breezing
• 9:30
  over the tops of your? Like no, but like but when I
• 9:33
  sneeze for some. Reason bottom like it touches
• 9:36
  the bottom. Yeah, yeah.
• 9:37
  Like it's, it's not. In between my.
• 9:39
  Teeth at any moment at rest. It's the backside of my tongue
• 9:43
  and it's the most painful thing of my life.
• 9:46
  Like it's oh. Gosh, how privileged are you?
• 9:49
  So bad like to bite the back of your tongue like hey don't hey
• 9:53
  don't yuck my Yum here, alright? I'm sorry to slap me, this is
• 9:57
  the most painful thing I've ever.
• 9:59
  Experienced he. Says in front of the person
• 10:02
  who's like had 9000 surgeries. You're different.
• 10:05
  You're you. I this is my pain all right.
• 10:08
  Yeah, your pain is biting your tongue.
• 10:09
  OK? It does hurt.
• 10:11
  It does hurt. I'm not going to lie.
• 10:13
  It hurts, but it's. Not but either way.
• 10:15
  Expletive hurt. No, because that's not why I'm,
• 10:18
  well, not usually why I scream. I scream if I get mad it's
• 10:21
  because I've had like 4 sneezes and I can't stop sneezing and
• 10:24
  it's annoying because I have to sneeze really hard because it
• 10:27
  and like it hurts. I don't know what I don't know
• 10:29
  how my sneezes have ramped up so much, but I used to hold them
• 10:33
  all in and now that hurts my chest.
• 10:35
  And so I was, I was like, that's probably a problem.
• 10:37
  I should stop doing that. And so now that I sneeze, I
• 10:40
  don't, I don't try to hold it back.
• 10:42
  So I don't know what you want me to.
• 10:44
  Do it's so loud now it's. Not that loud, it's the.
• 10:47
  Guy in the theater where like during like a dramatic ballad
• 10:52
  from the 2 lovers that have met in secret sneezes so loud that
• 10:57
  everybody just goes and they roll their eyes and they're
• 11:01
  looking over their shoulders like that's you now.
• 11:03
  And it's always the like 80 year old man that's like, you know,
• 11:07
  has it takes out the handkerchief that's monogrammed
• 11:10
  and stuff like this is who you're becoming.
• 11:12
  I don't know what to tell you. Like it's not a heart.
• 11:14
  Attack Sign up for this. Like.
• 11:16
  You know, I thought I knew your sneezes.
• 11:18
  If you can deal with my sneeze, If I can deal with your nose
• 11:20
  blowing. So I've never mentioned anything
• 11:22
  about your ridiculously overblown nose.
• 11:26
  Blowing, but it's never changed. No and.
• 11:29
  I've been since the. Beginning.
• 11:31
  It's true, and I've accepted that you do have to now.
• 11:33
  Expand switch on me. You are all like oh shoe a shoe.
• 11:37
  And now it's like it shakes me. It like rattles the windows of
• 11:41
  the house. Our neighbors are screaming
• 11:43
  bless you from like 3 houses down like chill deep.
• 11:49
  Out so ridiculous it's not nearly that loud.
• 11:52
  Yes, it is. But it is It is.
• 11:54
  I'm assuming it's loud. Yes, yes.
• 11:57
  I didn't know it snuck up on you though, because I feel like I'm
• 11:59
  dramatic about the sneeze where I go.
• 12:02
  No, you don't. It's just so it's like an
• 12:06
  immediate, like just, it's like if somebody saw a cockroach on
• 12:09
  their arm, like, like, like right next to you.
• 12:12
  And it makes my heart splutter and I go, geez, good.
• 12:15
  What? And you're like what?
• 12:17
  I can't. Sneeze.
• 12:19
  And I'm like, not like that. You, you make me sound like you
• 12:21
  going. To make me have a heart
• 12:23
  aneurysm. Well, it's you or me.
• 12:25
  So, well, I mean this isn't how I want to go.
• 12:27
  His wife scared him to death or her husband.
• 12:33
  I don't. Know what you want from me?
• 12:34
  All right. First of all, sneeze into your
• 12:36
  elbow and maybe it'll mute the sound a little bit.
• 12:39
  Yeah, I'll do. That anyway, I'll sneeze into my
• 12:41
  shirt like. No don't be gross about it.
• 12:45
  We have our old boss used to wipe his nose like this with his
• 12:47
  shirt and it was the most disgusting thing.
• 12:49
  I mean, I'm not saying anything he doesn't already know, but.
• 12:51
  Like, yeah, I know. Yeah.
• 12:53
  Wanting his old shirt that we always make fun.
• 12:56
  I know. So.
• 12:56
  Yeah, he doesn't listen to the podcast, so I'm not worried
• 12:58
  about it, but thank you for listening and don't forget to
• 13:00
  like and subscribe. And I was hoping to get away
• 13:03
  with the food thing. No, didn't work out.
• 13:05
  Chris, please, I. Kristen was on to.
• 13:06
  Me. Yes, immediately.