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Losing weight and keeping it off as a mother-daughter duo · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

• 0:40
  All right, y'all, I am so excited about this episode of Say Grace.
• 0:43
  I sat down with one of our mother-daughter duos, Pam and Emma.
• 0:47
  They joined with us together, and they have also lost with us together after
• 0:53
  many, many, many attempts at weight loss together before, which you'll hear
• 0:58
  a lot about on this episode.
• 0:59
  And so they have been with us for a while. And so if you have been at weight
• 1:04
  loss for longer than five minutes, you know that the newness wears off,
• 1:08
  right? And we dive into real life conversations about what that looks like.
• 1:13
  Like, okay, eventually your responsibilities take back over.
• 1:17
  Eventually you can't be focused on weight loss all day, every day.
• 1:20
  And so Pam and Emma share with us how they've kept up this lifestyle,
• 1:25
  even when life still creeps back in, you know, and this has allowed them to
• 1:29
  not only lose a great amount of weight like they have done, but keep it off for good.
• 1:35
  Okay. So join me in this super fun,
• 1:40
  super easygoing conversation with Pam and Emma as we talk about how not only
• 1:45
  they lost the weight, but how they have kept it off and the real life things
• 1:49
  that have come along with that. Let's go.
• 1:52
  Welcome, Pam, and welcome, Emma. We are so glad to have you with us on Say Grace.
• 1:58
  Thank you so much for having us. All right.
• 2:01
  So I just want to start it off. I think our members are so knowing y'all and
• 2:07
  so loving y'all at this point, right?
• 2:09
  But I do want to start it off and let you introduce yourselves to our listeners.
• 2:14
  Who are you? Tell them about yourselves.
• 2:17
  Well, my name is Pam Stamps, and I have a small accounting practice in Brookhaven.
• 2:22
  I've been self-employed for doing on 25 years.
• 2:27
  This coming year, I've been 25 years on my own, 10 years before with another firm.
• 2:31
  So I'm in the self-employed world, so a lot of you can relate to that.
• 2:35
  And people think you have all this money if you're self-employed,
• 2:39
  right? But that's not true.
• 2:41
  And all this time, all this time, they're like, Constance, you can do it.
• 2:44
  I'm like, I don't have that time. No, I never thought I'd make it past the first
• 2:49
  month. I just didn't know how I would make it.
• 2:51
  So a lot of decisions you make, you're already assuming you're going to,
• 2:55
  it's not going to work, you know, and that's not good to start out.
• 2:58
  But God took care of all that.
• 3:00
  So, yeah, you don't get to just clock out and go home. That's one of the main
• 3:05
  differences. But it is rewarding.
• 3:08
  Really thankful for that. So I have three children, and then God gave me my
• 3:17
  grandson. We adopted him.
• 3:20
  Actually, I have four children, and so that's kind of my deal.
• 3:26
  But the youngest one, I'm hoping to get him off my payroll pretty soon.
• 3:30
  He has a full-time job now, so we're shooting for that.
• 3:35
  So that's pretty much my husband and I just empty nesters at this point.
• 3:41
  Awesome. Okay, and Emma? Hi, I'm Emma Dale.
• 3:46
  I am a 12th year teacher at Weston Attendance Center.
• 3:50
  I'm an inclusion teacher and also a travel agent on the side.
• 3:56
  My husband and I have been married for nine years, and we have a precious little
• 4:00
  boy who is four years old named Stetson.
• 4:04
  And a little bit about me, I also show horses competitively on the side.
• 4:09
  And I enjoy being kind of creative in my off time or when I have any down time.
• 4:14
  So I like to make banners and I enjoy just doing that and spending time with my family.
• 4:19
  I love that. And y'all, Emma is Pam's daughter. So she is one of Pam's four children.
• 4:26
  And so they started PFN. Y'all remember when y'all started? It's January 2024.
• 4:34
  Okay, February 2024, and they started it together. So it was like...
• 4:39
  They came in hot and heavy, like ready to go.
• 4:43
  And I think, don't y'all think because y'all had each other,
• 4:45
  you were just like so much more accountable and so much more motivated?
• 4:51
  Absolutely. Yeah, I think it helped me a lot. Emma started a little bit before I did.
• 4:55
  She was telling me about something she had found. And, of course,
• 4:59
  I'm going to research it. And I realized that one of my nurse at the clinic
• 5:05
  that I got to in Madison, she had mentioned that she was a member of PFN.
• 5:10
  And someone clicked with me that I had actually heard heard about it, you know.
• 5:13
  And so I was really excited about that. So I probably started,
• 5:16
  what, a week after? I think a week after. Yeah, a week after.
• 5:19
  And then I said, well, that's something I can get behind. It sounded like something that was doable.
• 5:24
  And can I just say that I've spent my whole life on some type of program that
• 5:30
  I've attempted to lose weight my whole my whole life, basically,
• 5:34
  because as an elementary student, I was I was overweight.
• 5:38
  And I don't think they tested thyroid at that age back, you know, back then.
• 5:42
  And I don't know what they do now, but I see children now. I go,
• 5:45
  that looks like me when I was second grade, you know, just a whole deal.
• 5:48
  Because I remember my mother shopping and it was so strange because you didn't
• 5:54
  have a lot of choices then with different stores,
• 5:56
  but she would have to go to the junior section, even though I was nine and make
• 6:02
  something look like for a child.
• 6:04
  So, you know, it's like, it's like things in your memory. You remember that
• 6:08
  stuff and that's difficult to really make something look like an eight-year-old.
• 6:12
  So, you know, I didn't, nobody talked about it. I didn't get the bullying that
• 6:16
  I thing that people get now.
• 6:17
  So anyway, I decided, I think it was fifth grade, my aunt had lost over 100
• 6:22
  pounds with Weight Watchers.
• 6:24
  And so back in the day, anybody that is my age or older remembers it was very
• 6:29
  regimented Weight Watchers. They told you every day what to eat.
• 6:33
  And once a week, you had to have liver.
• 6:36
  And that's it. Yes. Oh, my gosh. And yes. Oh, my aunt maybe has told me this.
• 6:42
  Right. So I was fifth grade. OK.
• 6:44
  So I already told my mom, my aunt could do it. I said, I could do it.
• 6:47
  Give me her books because I didn't go to the meeting. She just called my aunt
• 6:50
  and said, look, can we have your material?
• 6:52
  So mom, bless her heart. She was five to never weighed more than what? One hundred and ten.
• 6:57
  She was one hundred and ten pounds. So here I am with a daughter that looked
• 7:01
  like I was adopted, you know. So I already had that going for her,
• 7:05
  but I said, Mom, can you help me cook this stuff? I want to do it.
• 7:08
  So she was very much in favor of doing that, and she helped me so much.
• 7:13
  So she would cook this, oh, my gosh, this liver. The smell was horrendous, but I was so determined.
• 7:18
  And so that day for liver, she would get the fake butter that you used to buy
• 7:22
  back then, and she would saute it.
• 7:24
  And you get one piece of bread for a day. That was your allowance,
• 7:28
  you know, one piece of bread. So I'd fold it together and just hold my nose.
• 7:33
  Damn, this is making me physically ill. I could throw up.
• 7:37
  Can you imagine a fifth grader on that kind of determination?
• 7:39
  I was going to get this weight off.
• 7:41
  Sarah Mason's in fifth grade. I'm about to go tell her. She'll have a sandwich for dinner.
• 7:45
  But I promise you, I would dream about eating like something bad.
• 7:53
  And I would almost cry because I was just that determined. I was going to do this.
• 7:57
  And I did it. So then that made me junior high cheerleader.
• 8:02
  You know, I was the whole active basketball.
• 8:04
  I was able to do those things. So I kept all that weight off through high school.
• 8:08
  I was a cheerleader. How much did you lose? Do you remember?
• 8:10
  I lost right at 60 pounds.
• 8:11
  Wow. In fifth grade. Fifth and sixth grade, because I remember traveling with
• 8:16
  the, I was the scorekeeper for the ball team and I was still playing.
• 8:20
  Taking like your diet drinks because in the concession stands didn't
• 8:23
  cater to people that needed diet drinks then so i'd
• 8:26
  have to bring my drinks you know with me so i
• 8:29
  was just and you ate liver every yeah
• 8:32
  every week once a week yeah and the other things were okay i mean it was vegetables
• 8:36
  and fruit i mean i had no problem with that but i could just remember that liver
• 8:40
  just like oh and of course i've done the hot dog diets you know i've done all
• 8:44
  of it you know oh yeah So Weight Watchers was always my fallback to go back into.
• 8:51
  But I kept that off through high school. College, I did the typical more than
• 8:56
  the, what do they say now, 15, freshman 15.
• 8:59
  I have 10 pounds a year, 15 pounds a year.
• 9:04
  So basically I was 60 pounds, yeah, 60 pounds gained during the four years.
• 9:08
  But I went, but I was not in the band because high school, I marched in the
• 9:11
  band, you know, the whole bit.
• 9:12
  So I didn't have any of that going for me. I worked at Kroger three to midnight,
• 9:16
  and then I had a full course load.
• 9:18
  So I didn't have sleep in my budget.
• 9:21
  And then it was a study once I got back from work. So I didn't,
• 9:25
  I was not taking care of myself.
• 9:27
  And Coke's was my, kept me awake. So I drank Coke. I wasn't an addict,
• 9:31
  but Coke was my addiction. Coca-Cola.
• 9:34
  Yeah. I couldn't afford the other. I didn't pay that well.
• 9:42
  So I just wasn't helping myself physically but
• 9:45
  I was determined to get that degree because I needed it because you know my
• 9:48
  mother instilled in us that you you might not ever need it but you better have
• 9:52
  a degree you know so that's what I did and so I just didn't think about my body
• 9:58
  and I almost didn't want people to even look at me does that make sense like
• 10:02
  I was so focused on my degree dating wasn't.
• 10:05
  It wasn't that important. I'm going to out some, but it wasn't like somebody I wasn't looking for.
• 10:09
  I was focused on getting my bachelor's. You weren't expecting to come out of
• 10:13
  college with a fiance. No.
• 10:15
  Yeah. So my senior year, when I got ready to interview accounting,
• 10:18
  there were only just about three females at Vilsaps when I graduated in accounting.
• 10:23
  And they were looking for a particular style, mainly men at that time.
• 10:28
  And then women, I'm sure they wanted them not to be almost 200 pounds.
• 10:32
  Right. I just felt I had a really good grade point, but I felt like I wasn't
• 10:36
  good at interviewing because my body was just, just wasn't, you know,
• 10:40
  I was just way too overweight.
• 10:42
  So a friend was going through the same thing. So she encouraged me to join Nutrisystem.
• 10:47
  So we did that. So that was my first experience with them.
• 10:50
  And then you actually went to the meetings twice a week.
• 10:55
  It's when you went, you bought your food and they weighed you both times.
• 10:59
  I remember when they used to have the storefront. Yeah.
• 11:02
  And had a nurse, a registered nurse. And I love the meetings because she would
• 11:05
  talk through issues, you know, and you had to go and you had to weigh and you
• 11:10
  buy all your food there, except for the lettuce and tomatoes.
• 11:13
  You can go to Kroger and whoever buy that. But they wanted you away from the
• 11:16
  grocery store, basically.
• 11:17
  And so I dropped the weight then. And when I started my first job, I weighed 120.
• 11:23
  So that's the last time I've been in.
• 11:26
  That way. So of course I met, started dating my husband that year and he didn't
• 11:32
  know me before the, he didn't know me at 200. Yeah.
• 11:35
  Yeah. Yeah. He had two kids. So we started dating and I would cook for them
• 11:40
  and he would, or we would go out either way.
• 11:42
  And he would be like, is that all you're going to eat? Cause they teach you
• 11:45
  to eat, you know, small amounts.
• 11:47
  And that's all I was, but then it got to where I was comfortable with him,
• 11:51
  you know, dating. Yeah, it happens, baby. That wasn't all I was going to eat.
• 11:55
  Yeah, but he didn't know me. He didn't know me before then.
• 11:59
  So all my life I've done, you know, I grew up with the Jane Fonda aerobics era,
• 12:05
  you know, where you're doing step aerobic and all the aerobics.
• 12:07
  But I stayed, you know, to where I was exercising. I never gave that up.
• 12:11
  And I just go through stages where I would be, I just tell myself,
• 12:16
  well, that's just how I'm going to be, you know.
• 12:17
  And then you get determined to, I'm going to lose weight. Like when Emma started
• 12:21
  this, like, well, maybe this isn't where I need to be, you know,
• 12:24
  but I never had just totally not done exercise.
• 12:28
  Yeah. I tried, but I feel like my whole life I was trying to be on a diet.
• 12:34
  And your program, I feel like it makes me feel like, because I've kept this
• 12:39
  25 pounds off this whole time, you know. Right.
• 12:43
  That I don't feel that way. I know about how many calories I can eat every meal
• 12:48
  and I don't get obsessed with it, you know.
• 12:50
  Right. It's not an on-again, off-again thing, which is what the previous things
• 12:54
  have been. And I want to speak to this for just a minute.
• 12:58
  You are so not alone in that.
• 13:02
  Passed. Like so many women come to us and their first introduction with weight loss is at that age.
• 13:11
  Like now, they ain't all losing 60 pounds in fifth grade. You know what I mean? Like that to me.
• 13:17
  But the concept of needing to lose weight, the understanding of their body being
• 13:23
  larger than other kids their age, the concept of their mom being on a diet and
• 13:28
  like them kind of doing it together.
• 13:31
  Like there are so many women that have that exact same experience as you, you know?
• 13:37
  And so I think it's just, I did not know this about you, but I'm so glad you
• 13:41
  shared it because I think it is just so validating for women to hear like,
• 13:44
  oh, I am not alone in this. And I do think.
• 13:48
  You know, that, that past may have created a relationship with food and with
• 13:55
  weight and with body image.
• 13:57
  You're, you were too young to like, understand, you know, back then.
• 14:01
  But like, I think it's just important to be able to draw the line,
• 14:06
  to be able to say like, okay, I've been dieting since I knew how to eat.
• 14:11
  I mean, you know what I mean? I don't know anything different.
• 14:14
  So how do I unlearn this, this pattern of like, get motivated,
• 14:18
  lose the weight, and then say, Oh, who cares?
• 14:21
  I'm gonna be how I'm gonna be and regain it. You know, how do I,
• 14:24
  how do I stop that? And that's been all I've ever known. You know what I mean?
• 14:28
  Right. I think that's super powerful.
• 14:31
  You know, I just feel like that's the true definition of this yo-yo trend that I also followed.
• 14:37
  And those same footsteps, I would gain weight and lose weight,
• 14:41
  gain weight and lose weight, trying a fad diet, you know, just cutting out calories so low.
• 14:47
  And then at night I'd go binge eat because I was just starving.
• 14:53
  That is not realistic. That is not realistic.
• 14:56
  You wake up every morning and you're like, I'm going to do it today.
• 15:00
  Like egg white for breakfast and protein shake for lunch.
• 15:06
  And then I know y'all heard me at this point talk about it a million times,
• 15:10
  But that willpower tank is empty by the end of the day. You deal with idiots.
• 15:16
  You have, Pam, maybe as a business owner, looked at your bank account and thought,
• 15:21
  oh, what, how are we going to make it?
• 15:23
  One thing can happen. Yeah. One thing can happen. I mean.
• 15:27
  By the end of the day, you're like, who literally cares?
• 15:32
  Where are we going to eat? And I did not eat off my plate. This is mine.
• 15:37
  I was a Mexican. you know like it is so it is so important to just like,
• 15:44
  stop that mindset of like waking up
• 15:47
  thinking we're gonna starve ourselves today we're gonna do it because
• 15:50
  we're gonna let ourselves down you know if it's not by the
• 15:53
  end of the day it's gonna be by the end of the week you know absolutely and
• 15:56
  it's just not sustainable and it's such a
• 15:59
  sensitive subject you know it's it's like my dad
• 16:02
  would tell my mother that Pam may want
• 16:05
  to try to cut out cokes you know but she would
• 16:07
  she would tell me where your dad's dead you know because she
• 16:10
  had no she wouldn't dare go there she never had that's one
• 16:13
  thing yeah now she it was like
• 16:16
  just a few years before she died i was going to a trainer three
• 16:19
  days a week i thought i could just eat what i wanted and just go to this trainer
• 16:23
  and he could fix just how he had it you know and i was helping it wasn't like
• 16:28
  it wasn't for something i was doing setups keeping my you know bones strong
• 16:32
  because i was worried about that and so he would tell me you you can't it starts
• 16:36
  in the kitchen and I knew that.
• 16:38
  He would tell me that. He'd give me all these great diets.
• 16:41
  And then, like you said, the egg whites and you put spinach with it or something,
• 16:44
  you know, like, yeah, yeah.
• 16:47
  He was something serious. But anyway, I was going.
• 16:49
  So I went to visit my mom one day and I had on my leggings and stuff.
• 16:53
  And, and she knew that was one of my workout days. And she said, did you go see Chad?
• 16:58
  And I lied to her. I didn't, but I said, yes.
• 17:03
  And that's terrible, you know, but I felt like she would have been so upset
• 17:07
  if I had not gone. Is that terrible?
• 17:09
  I mean, and I told my trainer, I said, and my mother calls you.
• 17:13
  Yeah, you tell her I tell her. And he just cracked up. You know,
• 17:17
  he was 55 years old, you know, worried about this.
• 17:19
  But I would tell him about my relationship with my mother. You know,
• 17:22
  he knew because you just tell him everything.
• 17:24
  And so it was so funny because the way she said it, did you go work out?
• 17:28
  You know, like just that tone on your list. Well, yes. What do you think?
• 17:32
  Of course I don't care if you judge me. Yes.
• 17:35
  You know, this is so, like this topic is so on point. And I know,
• 17:39
  I mean, we're recording.
• 17:41
  It's hard. Right. And so we're recording on a Tuesday.
• 17:45
  And so this, the first episode of this podcast that I'm about to reference just came out today.
• 17:50
  So I know y'all haven't had a chance to hear it, but Stacey and I did a two-part
• 17:54
  podcast about how like the weight loss scene is changing and how it has changed over time.
• 18:02
  And so what we, one of the things we really talked about, I think we talked
• 18:06
  about it more on the second episode, which will come out next week,
• 18:09
  but is like the culture around.
• 18:13
  Speaking about body image, like body image in general, but like speaking about
• 18:17
  body image, because like y'all, I used to be, and I still am.
• 18:21
  My grandfather, he is 91 years old and I am scared to get around him if I've gained five pounds.
• 18:27
  You know what I mean? Because like, they'll tell you, you know,
• 18:30
  like baby, look like you gained some weight.
• 18:32
  Like I will never forget when I was pregnant with Sarah Mason.
• 18:36
  I mean, I gained 60 pounds when I was pregnant with Sarah And they told me,
• 18:40
  you know, like both my grandparents were like, y'all, you look like you gained too much.
• 18:44
  You got twins in there, you know? And so it's like that generation,
• 18:50
  I don't think they mean ill will towards you.
• 18:54
  Like they just say what they want to say. That's how they grew up. That's how they were.
• 19:00
  But we can still internalize that and like make it define us.
• 19:04
  Make it 100%. And so it's like, it's such a tricky thing.
• 19:08
  And I am so prayerful that there are a lot of things about the weight loss culture
• 19:12
  that I'm not loving right now.
• 19:13
  And I know Emma, you and I have talked about that, like, but I pray that at
• 19:19
  least we are showing our children that like.
• 19:23
  We don't need your opinion on our body. You know, like your opinion is not needed
• 19:27
  for how, like how you physically look. Right. You know what I mean?
• 19:31
  Right. Yeah. And I imagine that was tough. Yeah.
• 19:37
  Yeah. Well, you know, like I said, she was 5'2". And like her employee,
• 19:42
  she was, she worked, she was a supervisor at a clothing manufacturer.
• 19:46
  Well, if I would go visit her at work, they would say, oh, girl,
• 19:50
  you're getting so big. You know?
• 19:52
  Yeah. mom said they mean that culturally that's
• 19:55
  so she would try to downplay and say and really I
• 19:58
  think they like some people like people to be fat you know yeah well tell me
• 20:03
  you know I mean yeah like that is a compliment like your booty's getting big
• 20:08
  that's a compliment and now yeah so I said well okay well okay well still I
• 20:13
  mean it's not it's in my head and it happened you know 30 years to go or more.
• 20:18
  Hey, you remember it. So it clearly meant something.
• 20:22
  Yeah. So Emma, after, how old are your kids?
• 20:26
  He's four. Four. Stetson's four. That's right. Yeah. And so after you had him, how did that go?
• 20:32
  Like with the weight loss or how was that? I'm just curious.
• 20:35
  So I had Stetson January 4th, 2021.
• 20:40
  Okay. So we were still in the peak of COVID. Absolutely.
• 20:43
  So everyone at that point were still afraid to leave our house.
• 20:47
  A lot of the businesses were shut down.
• 20:50
  And then also just had this fear of, you know, taking my child out of the house.
• 20:55
  So we stayed home a lot. We missed out on a lot. Lori was a year.
• 20:59
  Lori was a year old at that point. And I just remember thinking,
• 21:02
  like, we ain't going nowhere. She was such a mama's baby.
• 21:05
  Yes. So I just remember, you know, in my head, that postpartum,
• 21:10
  you kind of forget a lot of things, just the hormones.
• 21:12
  But I remember being very afraid and very scared at that time,
• 21:17
  spending most of the time at the house, even,
• 21:20
  Kind of being mindful of, you know, having family over because you're afraid
• 21:24
  your child will get sick.
• 21:26
  And just being cooped up in the house is not great for me. I like to get out.
• 21:31
  I like to do things. I love to travel, obviously.
• 21:34
  So that, that for me, that was, that was hard. I gained weight.
• 21:38
  I started gaining weight at that point.
• 21:40
  So you gained weight after you had Stetson? I did. I actually maintained my
• 21:46
  weight all through my pregnancy. see.
• 21:48
  I had a workout plan that I followed pretty much to a T.
• 21:53
  And I also tried to eat healthy and eat clean because even pregnant,
• 21:58
  I was trying to monitor my weight.
• 22:00
  And that's so hard to say, but just in my head, I just had this stigma,
• 22:05
  like, I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to gain weight.
• 22:07
  I don't want to gain weight. And so just over and over, I'll tell myself that.
• 22:10
  And I would, it's just, you know, bad to say, but I actually didn't gain any
• 22:16
  weight during my pregnancy, but afterwards I did start gaining some weight but
• 22:23
  yeah so let's see that was 2021.
• 22:25
  And being off work a while just at the house I would just start eating more
• 22:30
  and I was staying up late at night you know taking care of Stetson so I eat
• 22:35
  more when I'm awake so I was snacking and just putting on the pounds at that time but,
• 22:41
  That's always been my thing. After that, was there any attempt to lose it?
• 22:47
  Like before you found perfect fit or?
• 22:51
  Let's see. I don't even think back. Dangerous plan.
• 22:55
  I did follow one program and I had followed that program in the past and had
• 23:00
  really good success back in 2018.
• 23:04
  I actually reached my lowest weight I had been since high school.
• 23:07
  But I tried the program again. it had changed.
• 23:10
  The meal plans had changed. It wasn't exactly the same.
• 23:14
  It was a very like one size fits all meal plan. So one meal plan went out to
• 23:19
  a whole group of people to follow.
• 23:21
  And that meal plan did not work for me. I didn't like to say anything. Imagine that.
• 23:26
  Exactly. And it was a set workout plan.
• 23:29
  And then I was at home trying to work out. I'm not great with working out at
• 23:33
  home. I'm just not. I'm not disciplined in that. When I'm at home, I'm,
• 23:37
  if I'm working or trying to play with Stetson and spend time with him,
• 23:42
  I just don't do good working out at home.
• 23:44
  So that, that plan just, just did not work for me.
• 23:47
  And too, I tell all my new moms, right? Like, even if they were like you and
• 23:52
  working out like every day, really consistently before you had the baby or whatever,
• 23:56
  the first year after having a baby, like, unless you do just feel like you have
• 24:02
  this window of opportunity to work out, like exercise cannot be a focus.
• 24:08
  Like it literally cannot.
• 24:09
  Yeah. I remember even when I could carve out the time,
• 24:13
  mate, you know, for, to work out when, cause you know, I stayed at home when
• 24:17
  Sarah Mason, after she, when she was like six months old and on,
• 24:20
  and even with Gloria, I had like a flexible schedule because of COVID,
• 24:24
  you know, like she had to be here with me.
• 24:26
  I was trying to, you know, grow a business, but we was also got a baby right here, you know?
• 24:31
  And so, but even if I could carve out that time, it's like,
• 24:35
  wait, I have just carved out 45 minutes and I looked at my baby all day because
• 24:40
  I've been up cleaning, doing the dishes, trying to feed, feed,
• 24:44
  trying to put her down, trying, you know, I just want to sit here and snuggle her.
• 24:48
  You know, like I think it is, I hate that feeling of that conflict between do
• 24:54
  I do this thing that I need to do to be disciplined or do I soak up these really short moments
• 25:01
  that I've got you know with my I'm just
• 25:03
  always like at least for the first year until that baby
• 25:06
  starts running around driving you crazy like soak up every
• 25:09
  moment yeah absolutely that's not the number
• 25:12
  one unless you absolutely have to have it for your sanity you know what I mean
• 25:16
  okay so you did not lose it until PFN until PFN yeah because you were running
• 25:25
  and yes I started running I It started running at one point.
• 25:29
  So throughout that time, what year did we do the addition on our house?
• 25:36
  Let's see, 21, let's see. I think we started a house addition.
• 25:41
  That may have been terrible with dates.
• 25:44
  Anyway, we had a house remodel going on. So we ended up moving out of our house
• 25:50
  while they were remodeling.
• 25:52
  We moved in with my parents. In the summer, it was a 22. They moved in with us.
• 25:58
  Yes, we came on vacation, moved in with my parents.
• 26:01
  They started the house remodel. That was supposed to take four or five months.
• 26:06
  How long did that? They didn't even start. Girl.
• 26:09
  It's such a year. It was in 2022?
• 26:12
  That was around 2022. July 30th, they were supposed to start,
• 26:15
  but they didn't. No, so we had that going on.
• 26:18
  So we were displaced with our baby and our family.
• 26:22
  We're both working full-time jobs as well. And my husband's commuting.
• 26:26
  And it was just a lot going on. So somehow in that time, I thought I was going to become a runner.
• 26:34
  And I did. I did! She was.
• 26:37
  She was. I was running like 25, 30 minutes. That doesn't sound like a lot.
• 26:42
  But for me, that was a really long time.
• 26:44
  I was impressed. And I even took mom with me. I was like, mom,
• 26:47
  come run with me. And she got out there and played with me a couple of days.
• 26:52
  Anyway, that is awesome. It's just not sustainable for the amount of time that
• 26:56
  it required to go running.
• 26:57
  And then it taken Stetson with me. And it's, it just, I didn't have the commitment.
• 27:03
  Didn't have the determination to keep doing that. So I gave that up.
• 27:07
  And then they finished our house and moved back to our house.
• 27:11
  And then we went through a lot.
• 27:14
  My grandmother, she moved in with my mom at that time.
• 27:18
  And then thankfully we were all kind of able to stay there for a little while
• 27:21
  together. her before we made back out of our house.
• 27:25
  Yes, because you're still there whenever I had to bring my mom kicking and screaming
• 27:29
  to live with us. She's very independent.
• 27:30
  You would have loved her. She was something. Anyway, she didn't want to live
• 27:34
  with me, but it got to that point where it just wasn't any other option.
• 27:37
  My brother lived with her, but he physically could not handle her anymore by himself.
• 27:43
  He called me and said, I need your help. So we didn't live but four or five
• 27:47
  miles from him. So Ken and I went and encouraged her to basically,
• 27:52
  we didn't handcuff her, but she came.
• 27:55
  So it was that holiday season. Yeah.
• 27:58
  It was that holiday season that I really, I put on probably 20, 25 pounds. It was a lot.
• 28:04
  It was just a very stressful time in my life. And then.
• 28:08
  So wait, the home, the addition was supposed to take five months.
• 28:11
  How long did it take? A year. Girl.
• 28:13
  Yeah. I mean, that's how our, that's how our house felt. Oh,
• 28:16
  yeah. The six to eight months we were supposed to be in the room. Three times the amount.
• 28:20
  We were in there for 14 months. And the budget doubled.
• 28:25
  And the interest rates were rising by the minute.
• 28:29
  Yeah. So it was just, it was wild. That was a wild time to go through emotionally,
• 28:35
  physically, everything.
• 28:36
  But we lost my mom and I on New Year's Eve.
• 28:40
  January 2023. So, sorry, December 31st, 2023.
• 28:46
  And then we went through that. That was so hard.
• 28:50
  And then right after that, my horse sustained an injury that I thought was going to be career ending.
• 28:58
  And you may be familiar with the quarter horse industry, but these horses are, they're our teammates.
• 29:03
  Like, without that horse, like, you're, I mean, you're not showing,
• 29:09
  you're not competing. And then he's also like my best friend and he's like another child to me.
• 29:14
  Like I love him so much. So going through that and then his rehab and his healing,
• 29:20
  like we were still depressed and now I'll just add on more depression and I'm
• 29:25
  just going to eat some more to have these feelings and then I can't show.
• 29:28
  So I'm not walking and exercising, I'm not riding.
• 29:32
  So finding your program that February was a godsend. And I was going down the
• 29:39
  path and I knew I was like putting on too much weight.
• 29:42
  Like my show clothes are not going to fit. I had that in my mind.
• 29:46
  What if my horse does come back? I'm not going to be able to ride him because
• 29:49
  I'm so overweight and so miserable. I'm going to want to.
• 29:52
  So it really, it takes a lot physically to be able to do what we do competing.
• 29:58
  So I was just scrolling Facebook and there you are.
• 30:02
  I don't even remember the ad perfectly, but I don't know if you were talking
• 30:05
  or I just saw that perfect nutrition at the top.
• 30:08
  And I'm like, you know what? Maybe this is like a sign that I got on your website.
• 30:13
  I was reading through there and everything was just, it just,
• 30:17
  it felt so genuine and so real world to be able to apply to my life and something
• 30:23
  that would be easy to implement for me.
• 30:26
  So that, that right there was just my, that was my, my flag.
• 30:31
  I love it. I'm so, I'm genuine. I'm like, that's my favorite word.
• 30:36
  When you say that, it's so genuine.
• 30:38
  Yeah. I love that. I feel like we've met you and we know you.
• 30:41
  Like, I mean, it's just that.
• 30:43
  Yeah. And so it's so funny because like lately publicly I've seen a lot of like
• 30:50
  clients or followers and like I get kind of like.
• 30:55
  Frustrated. Like I'll, I'll, I'll talk to Jess about it a lot.
• 30:58
  Like I, I hate that people come up to me and they say, Constance, blah, blah, blah.
• 31:05
  And I'm like, and I have to say back, what's your name?
• 31:09
  You know, like I hate that so, so, so, so, so, so much.
• 31:13
  And Jess said to me recently, cause I was talking about it and I truly get emotional
• 31:18
  about it because I'm like, I love these people.
• 31:20
  Like I love them. And then like, I don't know what they look like.
• 31:25
  You know, I mean, or I don't, you know, they're a little tiny picture that I see on Facebook.
• 31:28
  And I'm really bad with remembering people anyway. Like, you could have gone
• 31:32
  to high school with me and I'd be like, who are you? You know, like, I'm just so bad.
• 31:37
  But Jess said to me, Constance, you should feel so honored that,
• 31:41
  like, they feel like they know you well enough to approach you publicly.
• 31:46
  You know, like, they feel like you're, like, their friend.
• 31:50
  And I'm like, you know, that is a really great way to look at it.
• 31:54
  Right? instead of feeling like so frustrated by it.
• 31:58
  And so I love that, you know, because I do. I love y'all. I love,
• 32:01
  I mean, obviously y'all show up on the Zooms and I see y'all,
• 32:03
  you know, but like, I love that you feel that way, you know what I mean?
• 32:07
  And I think you felt that way before, you know, the Zooms or whatever else, you know.
• 32:11
  Well, it's so good to know that like, we're dealing with a person, you know, not...
• 32:17
  I'm not just giving my information out to a computer and it's spitting some
• 32:21
  meal plan back at me or some numbers back at me.
• 32:24
  It's truly from you, a professional and someone that cares enough about her
• 32:29
  clients that you actually do take that time to get to know us.
• 32:33
  Even if it's just reaching out on a message or even on the Facebook page.
• 32:37
  Like we do have that one-on-one and the Zooms are so great for being personable
• 32:41
  and seeing, you know, even the other members too face-to-face and just getting to know each other.
• 32:46
  I think it's funny because when COVID hit, obviously my online business took
• 32:53
  off, right? Because everybody's like, let's go online.
• 32:56
  And then it was like this girl with this weight loss business.
• 32:58
  And so I think when that happened, though, my mindset and my husband's little
• 33:02
  business brain mindset, y'all, he's so business minded, was like,
• 33:07
  how can we multiply this?
• 33:10
  How can we turn this into something bigger?
• 33:13
  And that was kind of where our brains were for
• 33:16
  a few years and it was just a few years ago that I
• 33:19
  thought that I realized like wait a minute like I
• 33:22
  don't like I tried to remove myself for
• 33:25
  a certain period of time and like I hated it like I hate it like I like did
• 33:30
  not feel fulfilled anymore and so then it's like okay that ain't the path here
• 33:35
  like we're not trying to turn into a Weight Watchers where people never know
• 33:39
  who I am or they can't talk to me so then it's like okay well what is our business plan,
• 33:44
  you know what I mean? Like we had to revisit some things.
• 33:47
  And that's when PFM Plus came on the line because I felt like,
• 33:51
  okay, I really want to connect with people actually more, not less. You know what I mean?
• 33:57
  And so, yeah, I mean, I think.
• 34:00
  This is my mission field. This is my calling. And I don't think that I can do
• 34:04
  that from like a 30,000 foot level.
• 34:07
  You know what I mean? It has to be, it has to be just like this, you know, right here.
• 34:11
  Okay. So my, my questions for both of you is if there was one thing that like
• 34:17
  about the program and about you actually working it, right?
• 34:22
  Like if there was one thing that stuck out the most, and I feel like that has
• 34:26
  kept you guys here, what would it be?
• 34:30
  I kind of touched on it earlier, but just the real world practicality of the
• 34:34
  program, the fact that it's not a one size fits all.
• 34:39
  You actually give us the knowledge and understanding of our plan to be able
• 34:45
  to take it and apply that weekly for our meal plans.
• 34:48
  Like, we build our own meals. That, to me, that's a realistic approach.
• 34:53
  That's the real world. Because, I mean, it's not realistic to eat the same thing
• 34:57
  every day, all day, every week, day in, day out. Like, we have the ability to choose.
• 35:03
  And all the meal plans that are provided, I think we've personally eaten every
• 35:07
  single one, and they're all really good.
• 35:10
  And that's because you've created those and you've tested them yourself to see
• 35:14
  if it's something that people really, truly enjoy.
• 35:17
  And that, to me, that's what holds me to that is the real world approach of this.
• 35:23
  And that as I lose weight, my plan adjusts with me.
• 35:27
  It's not, oh, you just get this one, this is it, now you go.
• 35:30
  Now they actually get the knowledge of the program. right and
• 35:34
  two I think with you being so like I know your schedule can kind of be different
• 35:38
  week by week sometimes and so like I think it's really important for you and
• 35:42
  like all moms all business owners Pam like all all people right because I know
• 35:47
  Pam well I know there's seasons of your life that are way busier than others
• 35:50
  right with with your career it's like.
• 35:53
  You I think find like comfort in knowing okay last week I was going to track
• 35:59
  I was going to go exercise.
• 36:01
  I had all these things, but like this week for me looks absolutely insane.
• 36:05
  So I'm just going to try to take a walk after work and drink my water and call
• 36:09
  it good this week, but still feel like I'm working the plan.
• 36:13
  I'm doing something for myself.
• 36:15
  You know what I mean? Instead of feeling like I've either got to eat my liver,
• 36:20
  you know, with my fruits and vegetables, with these exact recipes in this cookbook or I failed the one.
• 36:30
  You know, Emma, with the one you tried after you had Stetson, like.
• 36:37
  Yeah. Clearly it didn't work because you felt like you had to do that only.
• 36:40
  Yes. Where you couldn't do it. You know what I mean? It was all or nothing.
• 36:45
  Right. And I feel like people, that is the, come at me.
• 36:49
  Like I want to challenge you if you go out and you tell somebody that my plan
• 36:53
  didn't work for you. Cause I'm like, my plan ain't no plan.
• 36:57
  My plan is your plan. You got to make the plan. You know what I mean?
• 37:01
  Right. I think though, the greatest thing is you give, you know,
• 37:05
  recommending the calories right up front, the age based on everything,
• 37:09
  you know, and I've always used my fitness pal in some degree for the last few years anyway.
• 37:14
  So I like their, I like their little deal. I think it's a great little tool.
• 37:18
  And so I have history back to 09, I think on that tool.
• 37:22
  So I was familiar with that and I paid a little extra for it to tell me if I
• 37:26
  want to go, if I do want to go to Wendy's or whatever, you know,
• 37:28
  but your recipes, like Emma said, they've just been something that had just been modified.
• 37:34
  Things we're going to eat in the South anyway. I mean, that's just me,
• 37:37
  because sometimes you look up, you can Google anything you want at this point
• 37:40
  in life and probably AI, whatever.
• 37:42
  But I just think, like she said, we know you've cooked it in your own kitchen.
• 37:47
  And I really kind of got into cooking it and prepping things myself.
• 37:51
  I really thought I was doing, just becoming just a really great gourmet chef.
• 37:55
  And you want to be honest about it, you know?
• 37:57
  I mean, in my mind, I needed the apron, the whole thing, you know?
• 38:01
  And it really made me more conscientious and kind of happy about prepping the food.
• 38:05
  And Ken even got excited you know like hey this is good you
• 38:08
  know you know and I said don't tell anybody I could cook don't let this get
• 38:11
  out of the house but Lance and Emma are at the house now and Lance loves to
• 38:16
  cook and so he's one of these he don't like you in his kitchen so I've just
• 38:20
  got my kitchen over damn I think go for it you know and he's tried all the every
• 38:26
  what every one and so in um,
• 38:29
  Weekly, we have the Alice Springs chicken, the chili cheese steak.
• 38:35
  What's another one? The fish.
• 38:39
  The salmon and Tuscan salmon. Yeah.
• 38:44
  That's just constantly on a repeat. I think it's not that I don't eat fast food.
• 38:49
  I'll never say I don't ever eat fast food. But if I do, I'm real just considerate of where I go.
• 38:55
  We do the Magoos. Huey Magoos does the grilled cheese.
• 38:58
  And Emma and I were at Chick-fil-A and we're, we're getting our little things
• 39:01
  out and we're both laughing about how many calories are in the dipping sauce. Oh yeah.
• 39:07
  And I always got extra. I mean, I would eat some of those little things on some chicken nuggets.
• 39:11
  So we're sitting there going, if we don't do the dip, we can,
• 39:15
  you know, eat again today.
• 39:18
  So that just makes you, and not to say one day you might want to have four of the sauces.
• 39:23
  I'm okay with that. And, you know, but it just, you try
• 39:26
  to log everything in that's just kind of my tip
• 39:29
  for anybody is starting out for sure right
• 39:33
  down because people tell me i can't let us
• 39:35
  the pound i've gained weight and they're my age or older and say
• 39:38
  i don't know what it is i don't eat very much but i've been with them and i
• 39:42
  see what and what what they're eating i'll never say anything to them but if
• 39:46
  i give them advice i would say jot it down right and when i started with your
• 39:51
  plan i realized how much i was because you don't Think about it.
• 39:55
  You don't. You don't realize how many calories are in a little sauce. Yeah.
• 40:00
  Chick-fil-A sauce. Just try to make a meal, a sit-down meal. Don't eat in the car.
• 40:07
  You know, the whole. I know it's like the most boring word ever, but the word awareness.
• 40:12
  Yes. And that's it. Yes. Tracking it. You have to be aware.
• 40:17
  Yeah. You know, people think I don't eat much because maybe they skipped breakfast.
• 40:21
  They did go through Chick-fil-A and maybe they chose the grilled nuggets,
• 40:25
  but like how many handfuls of candy did they walk by and grab it today?
• 40:29
  Or how much sauce did they put on or did they have a coat instead of,
• 40:34
  you know, like, and it all adds up.
• 40:36
  And so it's just about being aware of what you're doing.
• 40:39
  So my mom loved Coke. And so while she lived with me the year and a half,
• 40:44
  I always had Coke. So I like it too.
• 40:47
  So that's one thing we definitely had in common. So she and I would drink.
• 40:50
  If she had one, I just, well, pop me one because I was already stressed out
• 40:54
  to the max anyway. You know, can't get it that easy.
• 40:56
  You know, so I, with your plan, I just stop drinking. And I really,
• 41:02
  if I have them now, I get the mini.
• 41:04
  And if I really want one, I get me one. I don't try to not drink them.
• 41:07
  But I could say that's not in my, when I go to lunch or dinner, it's water.
• 41:12
  And you save money. It's unreal how much they charge you for a drink anyway.
• 41:16
  So I just do the water. And if you just do that, which I think too,
• 41:20
  at my age, I did some hormone replacement therapy. And I think.
• 41:26
  I think that's helped me also. So I want to share that with people that,
• 41:30
  you know, if you feel like you've got some imbalance that I think sometimes,
• 41:34
  because I, just like Emma found you, I found a doctor on that.
• 41:37
  I would have never called somebody off of a Facebook video.
• 41:41
  I wouldn't have even had watched it because I'm scared to watch any of that.
• 41:44
  But something told me one night to watch that video. God just put it on my heart to watch this guy.
• 41:49
  And he was a really good doctor that moved to Madison from Florida.
• 41:53
  And he, my husband and I went, sat down with him. He's a super nice guy.
• 41:57
  And so he really shared a lot with me on, you know, because my grandson, it's my son.
• 42:04
  He was 16, and I was about ready to just choke him, you know.
• 42:07
  I made this one through COVID together, and he knew everything at 16.
• 42:11
  And I was just, I had myself in a mess. How old were you then, Pam?
• 42:16
  Oh, see, that was six years ago, 57. Okay.
• 42:20
  Yeah, I was 57. And he told me that sometimes you do need to hurt teenagers.
• 42:27
  You knew he was the doctor for you. I'm not going to say you shouldn't sometimes,
• 42:32
  you know, but it sounds like you're really at that level where,
• 42:34
  you know, it's not the same.
• 42:36
  But it was COVID. It was the whole thing. He wanted to finish high school early.
• 42:41
  He had a lot going on, too, you know.
• 42:44
  And I was having small bowel obstructions. Pretty much I could mark my calendar every two years.
• 42:51
  And so I still have to be very careful with that. Do you feel like maybe stress
• 42:57
  contributed to some of that, too?
• 42:59
  Well, they think it's scar tissue. I had one minor surgery in my whole life.
• 43:04
  I had a bladder sling, and I think I've got some scar tissue from that.
• 43:09
  That's the only thing they can figure that's going on. Yeah.
• 43:12
  But it made me realize when I was in the hospital, that NG tube in your stomach,
• 43:17
  that, hey, I might want to take better care of myself.
• 43:20
  And not to say it hasn't happened since then, but I'm just real mindful of that.
• 43:27
  I really say on her about her water, too. Yeah, and I try to drink the water. I know, that's ugly.
• 43:33
  But they say once you have one, you typically are prone. You could have more,
• 43:39
  you know, have it again. Yeah.
• 43:40
  But knock on wood. I've been okay, ma'am. But like I said, I could mark on my
• 43:44
  counter almost. It's like, and when it hits you, you know it. I mean, it's no pain.
• 43:49
  It's just, you feel like food stops right at your chest level. Yeah.
• 43:52
  And it's a pain you cannot, it's not the pain. It was just, you feel like you
• 43:57
  could never get, you know, how you just want to throw up. You feel better.
• 44:01
  Yeah. It don't happen. It don't happen. That's when you know you go to the ER.
• 44:05
  It was my anniversary one year and I got my purse. I told my husband,
• 44:09
  I said, well, I'm going to the ER. Are you going to go with me?
• 44:13
  He said, I've been waiting for you to tell me because he knows I'm sick.
• 44:17
  Yeah, wait all night. Yeah, he
• 44:19
  said, I've been waiting for you to come out so I can take you to the ER.
• 44:24
  Happy anniversary. I told him, I said, yeah. And, of course,
• 44:27
  that was during COVID, I think.
• 44:30
  He couldn't come in with me. Oh, I hate that. I am proud, though,
• 44:36
  that you are. They had really good medication there.
• 44:40
  I'm glad you're you're like kind of paying more attention to it though and like
• 44:45
  emma said drinking water it makes you really yeah it gets your attention that's for sure.
• 44:52
  Okay, so I'm curious now, because you guys have been here for a while,
• 44:56
  and you're still here, and now you are living together temporarily again.
• 45:01
  And so how are you, like, supporting each other even still in your day-to-day at home?
• 45:08
  So first, probably through our meal planning and our meal prepping,
• 45:14
  we for sure eat the same dinner every night, and it's usually a PFN meal.
• 45:20
  Flipped by your husband.
• 45:22
  Yes cooked by my husband he's an excellent chef
• 45:25
  he's he's awesome so we have
• 45:28
  that going for us for sure we can kind of check in and then
• 45:31
  mom and I like we're pretty good about like
• 45:34
  boosting each other up when we're down like if I'm just having a
• 45:37
  bad day mom's good about reassuring me and you
• 45:41
  know when I want to just eat ice cream at
• 45:43
  night she's like she doesn't say anything to me about it
• 45:46
  and I'm glad that she doesn't because I think if she did I would
• 45:49
  just eat more and more of it so but no she's
• 45:52
  just really good there for me as a mommy is
• 45:55
  but you know I just love that about it y'all really are
• 45:58
  good I also encourage her to drink her water I'm yes no
• 46:01
  I'm a water holic like I I'm gonna have my water I have a bottle sitting here
• 46:06
  with me right now but I don't go anywhere without it and so I'll ask her I'm
• 46:10
  like mom are you drinking your water and because I really don't want her to
• 46:14
  get sick but also just because it's so good for you and just helps you feel better overall yeah.
• 46:20
  I love how you guys lift each other up because I'm sure y'all do it at home all the time.
• 46:26
  But like you guys do it even in the community, you know, like,
• 46:29
  you know, when one of you has lost weight on the way in, the other one says,
• 46:33
  you know, y'all are just I love that.
• 46:36
  And I think that our ladies love to see that, too. You know, just tag teaming.
• 46:40
  Mom is rocking it. I'm just going to tell you, she is rocking it.
• 46:44
  I don't it's I feel like I'm just so thankful I've been able to keep the 25 off now.
• 46:50
  I did have to go, I did pick up some pounds, was that two months ago or a month? I noticed it going up.
• 46:58
  Like I would, and I'm trying to justify it. You know, you do that in your brain,
• 47:01
  you know, okay, you know, but then it was, it was during the tax season.
• 47:06
  And so like you said, that is a different time. That's what I went through a
• 47:10
  lot more and it's, it's stressful.
• 47:12
  I'm not gonna lie. And so, and then if I can let one little thing that'll go
• 47:15
  wrong in my life and, and it just seems like.
• 47:19
  It takes me a minute to get back, you know, back to where I need to be to care
• 47:24
  about me. I put myself last.
• 47:26
  Which I think that is like an everybody thing, right? Like that's not just a Pam thing.
• 47:32
  And that's part of it too, right? Where it's like...
• 47:35
  We all go through kind of crazy seasons, like truly demanding seasons on the
• 47:40
  calendar, obviously, like you during the season.
• 47:42
  But also, like emotionally, like I'm sure, I'm just projecting this,
• 47:46
  but I'm sure like around the time of your mom's anniversary death.
• 47:51
  Like a little more emotion comes up.
• 47:53
  And it may, you know, things may just feel a little heavier or we all got all
• 47:57
  kinds of drama or something going on here and there.
• 48:00
  And so this is the truth for everybody, which is why I say what I said earlier
• 48:06
  about it's okay if your plan has to change.
• 48:09
  It's okay if Pam can't track this, but Pam can only focus on her water,
• 48:13
  right? Because we've got more pressing things going on.
• 48:16
  And so you can hear people say that. And I've read people say,
• 48:20
  oh, I've been having to care for my mom and I've gained weight.
• 48:24
  And you hear that and you think, oh, well, you're just not very strong.
• 48:27
  You know, like you're almost judgy. You know, but then when you go through it,
• 48:31
  you see, you know, that I see what they mean by that.
• 48:33
  Because I'm just now realizing that my mom's not here.
• 48:36
  I mean, you go through, there was months that, you know, you just don't even
• 48:39
  get to grieve. You know, it's like I was so tired. Yeah. Right.
• 48:43
  And almost, you just feel like, wait a minute, she's not here.
• 48:48
  You know, it took, it took months to realize that mom's not there.
• 48:52
  Right. You know, you're trying to be strong for everybody else.
• 48:56
  And you were probably recovering from that time period of like where you were the caretaker. Right.
• 49:04
  You know, so like if she's gone,
• 49:06
  then you have this recovery period and everything's kind of not real yet.
• 49:10
  And then it's like, I mean, you start second guessing everything like,
• 49:14
  well, could the doctor have done more? You know, like what?
• 49:17
  You know, because she even voiced to me at the end.
• 49:20
  I think we've done everything we can do. And that's just a horrible thing because
• 49:23
  I relive her saying that.
• 49:25
  You know, that's terrible because you don't ever want your parents to die, ever.
• 49:29
  No, never. And you don't think of them as being ever sick, you know.
• 49:32
  And she was not. She was not one of these people that ever took medication.
• 49:36
  But anyway, she had pulmonary fibrosis brought on by, I think it was her environmental,
• 49:42
  because she worked in a clothing factory.
• 49:44
  Right. She never smoked or anything, and my dad didn't. So they never said that.
• 49:49
  The doctor, of course, didn't say that. It was a rheumatoid immune type deal,
• 49:54
  but I don't think that didn't help her any, breathing in all those threads, all those years.
• 49:58
  Yeah, but we'll never know, and that's part of it, right? Yeah,
• 50:02
  and then you just start second-guessing even your care of your parent.
• 50:06
  It's terrible because I know I did.
• 50:09
  And my two brothers, they just wanted me to handle it. Well, you know, of course.
• 50:13
  He did a wonderful job. Oh, I tried. But see, at the same time my mom got sick,
• 50:18
  Mimic did mention this with their deal.
• 50:20
  My baby brother, he's four years younger than me, he got viral encephalitis
• 50:26
  brought on by a mosquito.
• 50:28
  It wasn't West Nile, but it was viral. so he had he couldn't work he's a pipe
• 50:32
  I thought he was gonna have to move in with me and so luckily I'm telling you for real.
• 50:40
  I should weigh 300 pounds right I think I should get an award that was a,
• 50:47
  But anyway, luckily, his best
• 50:49
  friend was single, and he had a house big enough that he could move in.
• 50:54
  And he told me that, because he really couldn't make a complete sentence at
• 50:58
  that point. He couldn't make decisions.
• 51:00
  His girlfriend had lived with him for years, mainly, pretty much his life. Yeah.
• 51:05
  But I was scared she was going to cut out, you know, because she didn't have
• 51:07
  any ties there. I'm thinking, oh, great.
• 51:10
  But she's paid. Yeah. So I said, well, look, you know, y'all welcome to come here.
• 51:14
  And so he she said what he said he
• 51:17
  would feel comfortable at Bobby's which is his best
• 51:20
  friend so I was like thank you for board you
• 51:23
  know but even still like you didn't have to become the
• 51:26
  caretaker but I was still yeah mentally it was
• 51:29
  still an emotional thing like an emotional role
• 51:32
  my mother I had two brothers my mom picked
• 51:35
  my oldest brother that's who she clung to
• 51:38
  that makes sense and so I helped my baby
• 51:41
  brother because I felt like she really just she just
• 51:45
  focused on my older brother you know and that's just the way
• 51:47
  it is so I was kind of like Greg traveled with
• 51:50
  his job so I was his bookkeeper I took care of him you know if he needed something
• 51:54
  if I needed something he was always there for me so it was kind of like a relationship
• 51:58
  it was just a different you were more you were more of a motherly type yeah
• 52:03
  yeah yeah yeah okay so before we move into the Q&A,
• 52:09
  I do have a question for both of you.
• 52:11
  I would love to know after you just kind of like giving us an overview of your real lives, right?
• 52:18
  Like what would be your number one tip for someone who is trying to lose weight?
• 52:24
  Yeah, I was going to say track. Track. That is everything. That is key.
• 52:29
  You have got to log it in because. On it. Yes.
• 52:35
  And log it in. log it in,
• 52:38
  when you do it, or you're going to forget. I have tried to wait till the end
• 52:42
  of the day before, and I've been so busy at school.
• 52:45
  I don't know what I ate for lunch. Did I eat lunch?
• 52:48
  Did I have a snack? You know, did I eat one of the little chocolates I keep
• 52:52
  in my room, or did I, you know, grab this a candy?
• 52:57
  Yes, if I'll get in. Biggest thing.
• 53:01
  I think that, and also I would say what I
• 53:04
  did a lot is I went ahead and wrote down what I
• 53:07
  was gonna have for that day planning ahead
• 53:10
  you could modify it you know but I went ahead and had a plan I liked what I
• 53:15
  would do is if like I was on a plan for 1390 calories I would kind of in my
• 53:20
  mind divide that by three once I was on I was putting everything you know down
• 53:26
  because some people don't like breakfast yeah so I thought Well,
• 53:29
  if I just do a protein drink, I can have lunch,
• 53:32
  maybe something different for lunch.
• 53:34
  But I just think it's better to go ahead and write down what you plan to eat.
• 53:39
  You can always modify it.
• 53:41
  And the water, I think the water is so critical.
• 53:46
  I have found that if I'm not drinking my water, I could be eating right,
• 53:51
  following all these things.
• 53:52
  But I'm not going to lose the weight I would if I'm drinking my water. Amen, sister.
• 53:57
  Because it's not happy. It's not happy if you're not drinking the water.
• 54:00
  It's not going to give you what you want if you're not giving it what it wants. Yes.
• 54:04
  I think people that travel, I could see where that would be a limitation,
• 54:10
  especially my age, because you're looking for the next restroom just in case
• 54:14
  you need to go. You're right.
• 54:15
  So I think you find yourself not intake, like the balanced intake of water like you should. Right.
• 54:21
  Traveling. And I've talked to other people that when you travel,
• 54:24
  sometimes you just pick up weight.
• 54:26
  The flight, the airline, I don't know what it is. We didn't dig it on the water
• 54:29
  on our base three-cent trip.
• 54:31
  We ate so good. We shared things. We did so good with calories. But I think your body...
• 54:38
  Somehow either in the fluid it takes a
• 54:41
  few days but right now i'm back down to my weight like from just
• 54:43
  from that october the 23rd we went so you
• 54:46
  know we're almost two weeks just a little over a week ago
• 54:49
  and i think we can beat ourselves over beat ourselves up
• 54:53
  over the scale yes i tell my
• 54:56
  pfm plus clients when they're traveling to never weigh
• 54:58
  when they get yeah i always want to everybody wants to they want
• 55:01
  to think what's my damage because we do typically do
• 55:04
  a little worse on vacation so they
• 55:07
  were like i want to see the damage and well then the scale
• 55:10
  is going to show you a higher number but it really is it's a
• 55:13
  thing like you're when you travel because you sleep
• 55:16
  in a bed that's not yours you're in an environment that you're not
• 55:19
  super comfortable in right the way you would be at home right so that puts extra
• 55:24
  stress on your body so your body is responding to that and then on top of that
• 55:29
  like they just got back from disneyland those of you guys listen and so So y'all
• 55:33
  was eating lots more sodium and preservatives up in that food than you did.
• 55:38
  We were. Soaking in the kitchen. Lobster nachos. Smell it. You have to eat it.
• 55:43
  Right. And then you were getting less water, I'm sure, because you were traveling.
• 55:47
  And then, you know, just the time change, like all of it is just...
• 55:54
  A mess. You know, you were walking, your muscles were swelling, all the things.
• 55:59
  And so I always tell people, do not wait at least for a week until you get back home.
• 56:04
  And then you can see the true damage instead of being up like 10 pounds and
• 56:08
  being real upset, you know? Yeah.
• 56:11
  Okay. So let's do our Q&A. So with every guest, I ask them to bring three questions
• 56:17
  and then I have three questions for them.
• 56:19
  So I have three questions for Pam and Emma,
• 56:24
  like to answer answer the same question and then they have different questions
• 56:29
  for me and I told myself y'all I'm so bad about this I told myself I was gonna
• 56:32
  look up look at them and come up with my answer but I didn't so here we go all
• 56:37
  right okay so let's go Pam ask your first one,
• 56:43
  on the ones I ask you yes okay hold on I'm sorry it's okay,
• 56:49
  Do you want me to start? Yeah, go ahead. Okay. Okay. So my first question for
• 56:54
  you, what is your number one piece of advice for your veteran clients?
• 56:59
  Okay. And so in our group, for those of you listening, we call them veterans
• 57:04
  if they've been around for a hot minute, if they've made it all the way through
• 57:07
  the weight loss roadmap, if they feel like they know all the things they need to know.
• 57:12
  And so Pam and Emma are at this point, right, where it's like, okay.
• 57:16
  So number one, I think if your goal is met, you know, then my number one piece
• 57:23
  of advice is to really lean into maintenance, like understanding what that means,
• 57:28
  understanding what a life of maintenance means.
• 57:30
  Because again, a lot of people coming in are like you guys, like they come in, they find perfect fit.
• 57:37
  It's, you know, life changing or whatever, but they still have that back history
• 57:41
  of on again, off again, a diet. You know, like that is their MO is we start,
• 57:48
  then we stop, we start, then we stop.
• 57:50
  And so it can very quickly, like it, I've seen it, you know,
• 57:54
  where people will come in, they'll reach their goal weight and then they're
• 57:57
  just like, okay, we're going to stop, you know, and because that's how they think it should go.
• 58:03
  And then the weight comes back on, you know what I mean?
• 58:06
  And so luckily a lot of our ladies catch it pretty quick.
• 58:08
  Like you said, Pam, like you caught it, you know, when you caught yourself creeping up a few pounds.
• 58:14
  And so leaning into the idea of maintenance and really understanding what that
• 58:17
  means, that is when the true lifestyle change happens.
• 58:21
  Like that is when you can say, no, this is a new lifestyle that I'm living,
• 58:25
  is once you were done losing the weight and you truly feel confident navigating
• 58:29
  food day in and day out while maintaining that weight loss, you know? Mm-hmm.
• 58:35
  Okay. My first question for both of y'all is, for each of you,
• 58:43
  what are your top five grocery buys each week?
• 58:49
  Okay. I had listed the protein drinks. That's a must. Which one?
• 58:54
  The brand? I love the Nuri.
• 58:56
  Okay. Really got into the vanilla. I started out chocolate, but you know,
• 59:01
  vanilla to me tastes like melted.
• 59:03
  I love homemade ice cream, but I like to stir mine.
• 59:07
  I'm one of these people that likes my ice cream almost like liquid.
• 59:11
  And so it just has that flavor to me like ice cream. I agree with that.
• 59:16
  I try to keep those. Costco was first the only one, but Sam's now carries them.
• 59:21
  So if you're a Sam's member, you can find them there in the front,
• 59:24
  like by the health food, the vitamins and stuff.
• 59:27
  I put salad kits. Emma and Lance kind of do our grocery shopping and we have
• 59:32
  it delivered to the house. And the other night it was, what, 10 o'clock.
• 59:35
  It's crazy. But anyway, it beats going to Walmart, trying to do it yourself.
• 59:39
  We love it. So we try to always do, I like the Caesar salad kits.
• 59:43
  They've got everything in the bag and you can add chicken or add something to
• 59:46
  it. But you've always got that basic salad kit available.
• 59:50
  Do y'all buy the Market Side? Market Side. Yeah. It is so good.
• 59:55
  I like it. It is great. Any of their stuff. Yeah, we talk about their dips. I mean.
• 59:59
  I think it puts Olive Garden to show you. I really do. Y'all.
• 1:00:03
  So I had not bought it. Like, I would buy the Kroger or whatever.
• 1:00:06
  Yeah. And so we went to my sister-in-law's a few weekends ago,
• 1:00:09
  and she had bought the Market Side Caesar salad kit.
• 1:00:12
  And I'm like, oh, my God, Kirby, this tastes better than a restaurant.
• 1:00:18
  So on vacation, we always get the spinach artichoke dip.
• 1:00:22
  So if you haven't gotten the market side on that, I can turn you on to that.
• 1:00:25
  But just, you know, be careful with it.
• 1:00:28
  But yeah, and chicken, we try to, you know, do the, that's kind of a staple.
• 1:00:34
  Water, which that goes without saying, but if you've got it convenient,
• 1:00:37
  we buy the bottled waters just because they're in the, we put them in the hallway.
• 1:00:41
  Just if I go to the hall, I grab a bottle of water. I'm trying to drink the water. Right.
• 1:00:45
  I love cheese. So I can remember as a little girl going shopping with my mom.
• 1:00:50
  And I would, this is so sad. People probably want toys now. I would beg for
• 1:00:54
  Velveeta for the block. Oh, yeah.
• 1:00:57
  It was a delicacy then. Please get Velveeta, you know.
• 1:01:00
  So, and my husband and I both have a love for all different kinds of cheeses.
• 1:01:04
  But at Kroger, back when I worked on Canton Mart Road, that's where I worked
• 1:01:08
  in Jackson, we had our whole cheese department.
• 1:01:12
  And I think they still do at Madison. They do. it's similar,
• 1:01:15
  but we had somebody that worked it and they had, they're very knowledgeable on all the cheeses.
• 1:01:20
  So I would always talk to them on break and say, Hey, what, you know,
• 1:01:23
  what do you, what kind of, can I try one of these cheeses?
• 1:01:26
  Because I grew up with cheddar, you know, the plastic, you know,
• 1:01:29
  in the little craft, probably not even craft brand.
• 1:01:32
  I don't know, but we like the Brie and I like the Havarti cheeses.
• 1:01:39
  So we try to keep cheese. I would say we always have some cheese at the house. I do not eat cheese.
• 1:01:45
  See, Emma does. It's got to be melted. My husband eats the cheese.
• 1:01:48
  But I love, I like to try different cheeses. You are my girl.
• 1:01:52
  My cheese has to be queso with some chips.
• 1:01:55
  I want my cheese melting. I really like, like I said, the Havarti was one of
• 1:02:01
  my, but Ken, he always wants to try different cheeses.
• 1:02:05
  So Aldi, I think sometimes has, I've yet to be and go to an Aldi.
• 1:02:09
  I've got to, but he loves it. I was just about to say, y'all have an Aldi down there.
• 1:02:12
  You've got to check out. Ken goes, and I keep saying I'm going to go,
• 1:02:16
  but I just, I'm telling you, I'm full with Lance and Emma doing the grocery.
• 1:02:21
  I don't want them to ever leave, you know.
• 1:02:25
  Okay, Emma, what about you? So I'm a Fairlife protein girl. I love the Fairlife.
• 1:02:33
  It tastes like just Nesquim chocolate milk. It's delicious. Very easy to drink.
• 1:02:39
  Another staple are the rotisserie chickens because that is so easy.
• 1:02:44
  I can order that on the grocery order. It gets delivered. Let it cool.
• 1:02:48
  Shred it up. And we can use it in any of the recipes that call for chicken. It is delicious.
• 1:02:54
  Can I ask if you've tried to mash it up in the bag yet?
• 1:02:58
  Have you seen that? My neighbor bestie told me about this. It works.
• 1:03:03
  It gets all the bones out. Oh, yeah.
• 1:03:05
  Let's see. Broccoli. I love broccoli.
• 1:03:08
  And we will kind of roast it in the oven put a little lots of butter on it.
• 1:03:12
  Calories but it is so good do you
• 1:03:15
  do yours like that in the oven yeah almost burnt
• 1:03:18
  to me almost burnt yes oh i love
• 1:03:21
  it they're like put it back in mom it's not black yeah that's
• 1:03:25
  right and i always try to keep like a little dessert mom
• 1:03:28
  actually turned me on to the little mini blue bunny cones
• 1:03:32
  and i like 70 calories they're very small but
• 1:03:35
  they have chocolate and vanilla they're delicious and so i'll
• 1:03:37
  try to keep those in the freezer if i get a sweet tooth and i have
• 1:03:41
  to factor it in for the day and like go ahead and log it in so i
• 1:03:43
  don't have the calories for it and then collagen is
• 1:03:47
  the safe love okay i need to try the blue bunny because y'all yeah i buy those
• 1:03:52
  little minis they're the minis and they're like the little dip cone they're
• 1:03:55
  very yeah you know i buy the true fruit blueberries yeah that's what i like
• 1:04:01
  but sometimes i mean I don't stand there and eat way too many out that bag.
• 1:04:05
  You know, like, I think I need a one serving.
• 1:04:08
  I think I've had those strawberries before. Yes. Yeah. I love the blueberries.
• 1:04:13
  Okay, Pam, what's your first question for me? Okay. I wanted to know what your
• 1:04:17
  favorite food or meal is. Like, if you, you know, I'm just curious. Okay.
• 1:04:22
  I don't know. I don't have just one. I don't know. And, like,
• 1:04:25
  every time somebody asks me this, I feel like I should say steak or something.
• 1:04:28
  You know, I love a good steak sometimes. But I think my favorite meal, my favorite meal.
• 1:04:36
  My favorite meal. Other than pizza, I do love a good pizza. I mean, but I love a board.
• 1:04:43
  I love a cheese board. Like, I love to just put all different kinds of cheeses on there.
• 1:04:51
  Fruit, some olives, some pickles, like whatever, and just be able to snack. I love to snack.
• 1:04:57
  That's me. Yeah. Jess and I, we were going to New Orleans a good bit for his work.
• 1:05:03
  I, you know, during the summer I got to go a lot more because we had childcare,
• 1:05:06
  but that was my favorite thing to do is go to this Italian place and like,
• 1:05:09
  no, I wasn't trying to get the pasta or whatever.
• 1:05:12
  I wanted one good glass of wine with their cheese board.
• 1:05:16
  Like that's all, you know, but I was satisfied.
• 1:05:19
  So I would say that. Yeah. Okay.
• 1:05:22
  Y'all's next one. Oh, wait, Emma, go ask your second one. I'm getting confused. Okay.
• 1:05:27
  What's your number one tip for traveling? line so I
• 1:05:32
  I just again I just talked about
• 1:05:35
  this on this episode that came out today
• 1:05:38
  with Stacy about I think okay this is so this is such an important topic to
• 1:05:44
  me because I think when we travel we can sometimes as critics right we are critics
• 1:05:50
  of ourselves and so when we travel we can sometimes say I'm
• 1:05:55
  I'm going to, like y'all just did, mother-daughter Disneyland trip.
• 1:05:59
  I'm going on this mother-daughter Disneyland trip. This is like probably not
• 1:06:02
  going to happen very often for you guys to get to do together.
• 1:06:05
  Super special trip. And so mentally, though, we can say, I'm going to do right.
• 1:06:11
  I'm going to stay on track. I'm not going to eat all the things.
• 1:06:14
  We can automatically go to that corrective mindset.
• 1:06:18
  And so my number one tip for traveling is to truly, for each time,
• 1:06:23
  think about, first of all, how often do you travel?
• 1:06:25
  You know, like for, I know, Emma, you travel some, right?
• 1:06:29
  And so for me, this year alone, it was ridiculous. I was telling a friend,
• 1:06:33
  like, I traveled once a month this whole year.
• 1:06:35
  It won't be that long next year, but I did this year.
• 1:06:38
  So then it comes to this thing of like, okay, which trips are most important?
• 1:06:43
  Like, which trips does the food really matter?
• 1:06:46
  So for me personally, the trips where Jess and I get to go by ourselves,
• 1:06:51
  baby, that's when the food matters.
• 1:06:52
  You know what I mean? That's right. That's when the food matters.
• 1:06:55
  But if I'm taking my kids down to the beach and they act in a fool at the dinner
• 1:07:00
  table, you know, like, that's not the vibe.
• 1:07:02
  That's not the experience I'm trying to, like, splurge on food with, you know?
• 1:07:06
  So it's really about what your goals are.
• 1:07:11
  Like, if you're traveling with work and it's like a hardcore work trip,
• 1:07:15
  like, you've got the conference food, you were on somebody else's timeline,
• 1:07:20
  like, that's not really when you want to just, like, splurge, you know?
• 1:07:23
  And so I think that's my number one tip is before you leave for that trip.
• 1:07:28
  Really, really assess, are you going to try, quote, to do good on this trip
• 1:07:34
  because it's not that big of a deal to you?
• 1:07:37
  Or do you really want to go on this trip like I did to Tulum in June and say,
• 1:07:41
  I'm going to eat all the good food. I'm going to eat all the local food.
• 1:07:44
  I'm going to have a margarita. I'm going to have another margarita.
• 1:07:47
  You know, like that kind of mindset.
• 1:07:50
  And then you are able to just more easily accept yourself in that atmosphere,
• 1:07:56
  if that makes sense, you know.
• 1:07:59
  That's really good. It's water. It's movement.
• 1:08:02
  It's grace. You know what I mean? I can't tell y'all that I've ever gone on
• 1:08:07
  vacation ever, whether it's the beach with my kids where they act in a fool
• 1:08:11
  at the table or whether it's Tulum with Jess where I knew I was going to come back weighing more,
• 1:08:15
  that I've tracked my food.
• 1:08:18
  You know, like I just always try to be mindful and make decent choices.
• 1:08:22
  If I wake up and I want an egg white omelet, okay. But am I probably going to
• 1:08:26
  have, you know, cheese. A Mickey waffle.
• 1:08:29
  Yeah, yeah. Right, that's right. A Mickey waffle, right. Chicken and waffle.
• 1:08:32
  That's me. At Disneyland, we were just talking before we pressed record.
• 1:08:36
  My family, we're going to Disneyland in two weeks. And I know,
• 1:08:39
  baby, I'm having the Mickey waffle.
• 1:08:41
  And if we got the tater tots, I'm having those. I don't know why I think Disney
• 1:08:45
  World tater tots are the best thing on the planet. but I do.
• 1:08:48
  They're good. Yeah. But for lunch, it's not going to bother me to get a salad
• 1:08:52
  from somewhere or like a taco type thing or something that, you know,
• 1:08:56
  that's not going to bother me.
• 1:08:57
  And so it's just about what matters most for you, you know?
• 1:09:01
  Okay. Y'all's next one is how do you plan to approach the holiday season and
• 1:09:11
  navigate or maintain your weight loss?
• 1:09:14
  So for me, I am a snacker.
• 1:09:18
  If I'm standing around the island in the kitchen, I'll snack on all the dips
• 1:09:24
  that are set out because I always got some good dips.
• 1:09:26
  So I'm going to try not to do that.
• 1:09:32
  And just being mindful of, like, I don't know.
• 1:09:35
  I don't want to get to a place where I just want to sit over there and just,
• 1:09:38
  you know, eat all the dips. Use a plate.
• 1:09:40
  Use a plate. That's the best way. Use a plate. Yes.
• 1:09:44
  Well, we have typically our family gets together Thanksgiving and Christmas.
• 1:09:49
  And those two things look totally different in our family. It's just become
• 1:09:52
  Thanksgiving is a true meal with the turkey, the ham, the dressing,
• 1:09:56
  you know, the just you want to get in the recliner and kick back after you've
• 1:10:00
  eaten, you know, that kind of meal.
• 1:10:02
  Christmas, we always do it Christmas Eve, and it's snacky food.
• 1:10:05
  It's appetizers. It's cheese ball. That's exactly what we do. That's what I like.
• 1:10:10
  I'm looking forward to Christmas. And, you know, kids, of course,
• 1:10:14
  my grandkids have gotten older now, but they typically would try to get home.
• 1:10:18
  And my husband likes to be home.
• 1:10:19
  When the kids were small, he wanted to be home pretty early on Christmas Eve.
• 1:10:24
  So mom always went to Bombs, and we did that just kind of appetizer type,
• 1:10:29
  you know, snacks, heavy hors d'oeuvres, I guess. So, but I was just,
• 1:10:32
  what I think of is like you were talking about, use a plate,
• 1:10:36
  but try to use the dessert plates, you know.
• 1:10:39
  Now, Thanksgiving, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to have the regular plate.
• 1:10:43
  And if I want the dressing, but Emma and I were talking about it before we came on.
• 1:10:48
  Just picking the things you really, you know, and you've mentioned before in
• 1:10:52
  some of your things you really want to eat, like you really like.
• 1:10:57
  If you just kind of, I like it okay, but that's not something I would really
• 1:11:01
  use today for what I really like to eat and just kind of pick,
• 1:11:06
  choose, kind of make a decision before.
• 1:11:09
  And I've done that before, like even before we know what the menu is.
• 1:11:13
  Basically, in my mind, I'll say green beans.
• 1:11:16
  I'm going to do, you know, and kind of make it in my mind what I want to have
• 1:11:19
  in my plate. The smaller portions.
• 1:11:22
  I love that. And it's not a drink as much water. And we, you know,
• 1:11:25
  we have will do punch sometimes. And I'm going to drink.
• 1:11:28
  If I make a coffee punch, I'm going to drink it because it's got the ice cream, the whole bit.
• 1:11:32
  I don't sit there and get obsessed with that just because what you shared with
• 1:11:37
  us, it's okay. You know, it's once a year, you know.
• 1:11:40
  Once a year. Something I enjoy. I don't eat ice cream every day.
• 1:11:43
  Yeah so we we do a little bit different and but my
• 1:11:47
  daughter-in-law probably for two or three years now she's taken those shots
• 1:11:50
  so last year I don't think I think we wasted so much food because I really don't
• 1:11:56
  know if she ever really ate anything you know anyway it works for her and so that I felt like.
• 1:12:06
  Everybody is kind of being more mindful of how much they're eating.
• 1:12:10
  But we all went back in the kitchen and got more.
• 1:12:13
  It's okay to go back and get another plate if that's what you really want, you know. Right.
• 1:12:17
  Seconds are okay to not ever fill your plate. Right.
• 1:12:21
  You don't feel so bad. It's okay to go back for seconds. And usually we're so
• 1:12:25
  busy that morning breakfast is almost a protein drink or just hurrying up.
• 1:12:29
  I get so nervous with people at the house. I want everything to be just perfect, you know.
• 1:12:34
  And I'm worried about everybody else. And my grandmother, my mom's mother,
• 1:12:38
  or neither one of them, I don't think, ever sat down for a meal.
• 1:12:41
  My mom's mother especially.
• 1:12:43
  I never remember her sitting down with the family. She was a server.
• 1:12:48
  Like, she would come around and give you tea or what do you need.
• 1:12:52
  You know, I never saw her eat a meal. Isn't that terrible? I mean,
• 1:12:55
  I went there every Sunday.
• 1:12:57
  But I never saw her. That was the way back then.
• 1:13:00
  She just took care of everybody. And if you were a teenager,
• 1:13:02
  like, on one of my mini diets I was on, if I would tell her,
• 1:13:05
  Memo, I'm trying to cut back.
• 1:13:07
  Oh, girl, you don't need to do that. Get in here and get something to eat, you know.
• 1:13:10
  So that's just a really sweet feeling because that makes you feel good.
• 1:13:13
  Your grandmother never judged.
• 1:13:15
  You know, it's like, okay, you're right. I don't need to be dieting today, you know.
• 1:13:21
  That's right. That's right. Like, that you don't, you know, and you feel like
• 1:13:24
  you're fighting that sometimes on holidays.
• 1:13:27
  It's a safe place. And I feel like with mom and Memaw's relationship with that, that was my Memaw.
• 1:13:34
  And, like, she was never like that towards me. She always thought it was beautiful. Right. Right. Right.
• 1:13:40
  Sweet, my mom. All right, Pam, what's your next question for me?
• 1:13:43
  Okay, my next question for you, this is totally nothing about food.
• 1:13:46
  I was just curious how you and Jess met.
• 1:13:49
  You talk about him a lot, but I never have really gotten the back story.
• 1:13:52
  If it's okay, you can share.
• 1:13:55
  I am so obsessed with my husband. It is ridiculous.
• 1:13:59
  And y'all, I have been obsessed with him, would you believe, since like sixth grade.
• 1:14:03
  So he transferred to our middle school in sixth grade.
• 1:14:10
  Or no fifth grade I think but then he was oh my gosh there was so much talk
• 1:14:13
  about the new hot boy there but he was in my class in sixth grade and one of
• 1:14:19
  my friends cornered us and was like Jess,
• 1:14:24
  you told me the other day that you
• 1:14:27
  thought Constance was pretty and he
• 1:14:32
  and he he's gonna be mortified that he's probably downstairs listening
• 1:14:35
  to me say this and that he looked
• 1:14:38
  at me and he looked at her and he said no I
• 1:14:41
  didn't and he walked away after that you
• 1:14:47
  know I was like I hate him you know and so anyway fast forward high school we
• 1:14:55
  kind of ran in the same crowd we both had different like we both dated different
• 1:14:58
  people at one point we were dating twins he was dating the girl twin and I was dating the boy twin.
• 1:15:07
  And then finally, the way we finally got together was our senior year.
• 1:15:14
  All through high school, we kind of played this game where we were like best
• 1:15:16
  friends and like, because we ran in the same circles and you know,
• 1:15:20
  but we were headed into the, it was the summer before our senior year.
• 1:15:25
  And he had been at my house earlier that day as best friends,
• 1:15:29
  right? We're just best friends hanging out, you know.
• 1:15:31
  And I said, you have to go. You have to leave.
• 1:15:35
  And he was like, why? And I was like, I got to get ready. I got a date to go
• 1:15:39
  on tonight. Like, I'm going to see another guy. Yeah.
• 1:15:43
  So he left. And I was on my date with this other boy.
• 1:15:48
  And he texted me and said, I'm ready to be more than just friends.
• 1:15:55
  Oh, you're on a date. You're on a date. I was on a date. And y'all, I was like, bye, dude.
• 1:16:02
  Like, I was out immediately. I was like, okay, done.
• 1:16:06
  We're you're a couple you know i love it
• 1:16:09
  that is very sweet we dated through
• 1:16:12
  high school you know senior year high school and college and we broke up a
• 1:16:15
  little bit like we had a lot that is so sweet but it really was
• 1:16:17
  a lot of learning and a lot of like oh my gosh i could have
• 1:16:20
  changed so much but that is that is sweet
• 1:16:24
  that is very sweet okay all
• 1:16:29
  right let's see y'all's last one
• 1:16:32
  okay this is a good one what is your favorite part about Disney
• 1:16:35
  World so a lot of my people my followers know I
• 1:16:38
  love we love Disney and Emma is a Disney travel you're
• 1:16:41
  a traveling but you do more than just Disney right I
• 1:16:44
  do I did more than Disney but it is so funny
• 1:16:47
  how this past year I really started specializing in Disney more and really not
• 1:16:53
  by choice but just by all the clients that have come in so I have absolutely
• 1:16:58
  loved getting to do that and I've hit some really big goals with my travel agency
• 1:17:02
  that I'm involved with, and it's just been wonderful.
• 1:17:06
  That's awesome. But Disney is so near and dear to my heart. So,
• 1:17:09
  but yes, my favorite part about Disney World...
• 1:17:13
  Is first of all, I have some, like a lot of nostalgia memories that every time
• 1:17:20
  walking down Main Street, come flooding back and with my own parents and my
• 1:17:24
  grandparents. And I just, I have these memories.
• 1:17:27
  So that's the number one thing that I love. And then I also love now taking my little boy.
• 1:17:32
  He had his first trip last year and we're getting ready to leave in just over
• 1:17:36
  two weeks again for his second trip.
• 1:17:38
  And just seeing the magic through his eyes, Disney World is truly the most magical place on earth.
• 1:17:44
  And you can just ground at just all the love and just the joy that just flows
• 1:17:49
  out of that place. And seeing that through his eyes and then me also feeling
• 1:17:53
  my own feelings, I'll just be crying down Main Street.
• 1:17:57
  So I just, I love that. I love that. Y'all get ready.
• 1:18:00
  Cause Sarah Mason's trip we
• 1:18:02
  took when she was four was the best trip of my life. Like they are four.
• 1:18:07
  I don't know what, I do not know what it is, but I tell all my friends,
• 1:18:11
  Like, you got to at least take your kid when they're four.
• 1:18:13
  Like, it is, they are old enough to comprehend things and understand a little
• 1:18:18
  bit more than maybe last time when he went.
• 1:18:21
  The magic is still 100%. You know, like, there's no doubt.
• 1:18:26
  It's like, it is just, oh, I can't wait to hear about it. I'm so excited. It is.
• 1:18:31
  Pam, what's your favorite part? Well, so my experience with Disney is my best
• 1:18:35
  friend was in Pensacola, and her daughter did the pageant scene,
• 1:18:39
  the circuit, where we traveled to Tampa and Orlando.
• 1:18:43
  So anytime that Neota was going to go with Amanda for a pageant,
• 1:18:48
  she would say, hey, we're going to be in Orlando. You want to go?
• 1:18:52
  So my boys, I ended up bringing them one at a time.
• 1:18:55
  So I brought Jamie because he was more of a social bud. He loved all that.
• 1:19:00
  Like, Kenny was always an old man.
• 1:19:01
  He just didn't even admit to playing with toys. I mean, he's just always been an old man.
• 1:19:06
  But Jamie was all about, you know, anything with people. He loved it.
• 1:19:10
  So he went, and he was so good with Amanda, too, you know, just handling all
• 1:19:14
  the— It's a lot to a pageant.
• 1:19:16
  If you've never been in— It's just a lot, a lot of drama.
• 1:19:19
  But he was good with that. So he and I would hang out at the park and have our time together there.
• 1:19:25
  And then I brought Kenny one year. We went to Tampa after Orlando.
• 1:19:28
  So he didn't even own a pair of swim
• 1:19:31
  trunks so my aunt met us there she lived in
• 1:19:34
  close to Orlando and so she bought him a pair
• 1:19:37
  of swim trunks she said you're going in the pool you'd written you know he's wearing
• 1:19:40
  wrangler jeans at the pool you know so so anyway I've got a lot of memories
• 1:19:43
  with that and at that that trip my dad my mom and dad were there and Emma was
• 1:19:49
  just I was three three I think and so but I actually have memories of that yeah
• 1:19:54
  so yeah you know we were all there together So my dad bought,
• 1:19:59
  we stayed at the Wilderness Lodge, which is no longer a thing.
• 1:20:02
  They made that into something else now.
• 1:20:05
  But it was really neat. Right there, we could fish. You know,
• 1:20:07
  they gave you the fishing poles, you fished and everything.
• 1:20:10
  So they took Emma back to Destin with them. And Candy and I went on to Tampa
• 1:20:15
  with my best friend and her daughter for the pageant.
• 1:20:17
  And Emma, the whole time, she just was so excited.
• 1:20:21
  She was going to tell, she was telling how she was going to swim when she got
• 1:20:24
  to Destin. And I had her luggage.
• 1:20:27
  And I realized after they left, I had every piece of her luggage they forgot
• 1:20:32
  because they were driving on from there to Odessa.
• 1:20:34
  So I actually put it on the bus. I forgot what I paid to get that over there.
• 1:20:39
  But she was talking a big game about getting in the pool. But mom said she had
• 1:20:43
  her tennis shoes and her socks. She really didn't.
• 1:20:46
  Weren't too sure about getting in the pool even when they got there.
• 1:20:49
  But anyway, they got their clothes.
• 1:20:50
  But I think of all the parks, Epcot just speaks to me more than any of them
• 1:20:55
  with the different countries.
• 1:20:57
  It's just the way it's laid out. You just feel like you're visiting in a different—I've
• 1:21:01
  just always been fascinated with that.
• 1:21:03
  Have you been to Epcot lately? When was the last time y'all went? Oh, last year.
• 1:21:08
  I think what they're doing to Epcot is awesome.
• 1:21:12
  I've always loved Epcot, but Jess has not. Like he kind of, you know,
• 1:21:15
  when Sarah Mason was little, he was like, look, if we got to skip a day, let's skip Epcot.
• 1:21:20
  But I think this last trip, he was like, OK, you know, like coming around to
• 1:21:24
  it a little bit more. I love Epcot. It's a great park.
• 1:21:27
  I hate people saying, well, just skip Epcot or Epcot's a half a day park.
• 1:21:31
  I'm like, no, it's a full day. It's a great park.
• 1:21:34
  Animal Kingdom is the half a day if you got to have a half a day.
• 1:21:37
  I mean, I guess I didn't think about the trip we took. My son was going to be deployed.
• 1:21:42
  One of his deployments, he was in the Air National Guard. So he was going to Afghanistan.
• 1:21:46
  So Katie was only two years old or a little bit less than two.
• 1:21:50
  But she was too young really to go. But we went and we flew.
• 1:21:55
  And at Epcot, somehow she was able to put her head between the raw down bar in Germany.
• 1:22:03
  Don't ask me how. Oh, my God. So my don't-in-law is like freaking out.
• 1:22:07
  And Kenny, of course, he didn't really, he's not, like I said,
• 1:22:10
  he's an old man at heart. So he's already probably mad he's at the park anyway.
• 1:22:15
  And so i'm looking at katie and everybody's called
• 1:22:18
  to her apartment and i'm like well her head went in there it's gotta come out
• 1:22:22
  i'm like i'm going back to the room that is hilarious he was coming to get at
• 1:22:30
  least get a beer you know yeah calm your nerves and my husband he he was on that trip too and he said,
• 1:22:38
  I can't find Nemo. He said, are we ever going to find Nemo?
• 1:22:41
  And then what was the thing he told me? He said, I thought this was the happiest
• 1:22:45
  place on earth. I've heard more women say they're getting divorced when they get home.
• 1:22:48
  Yes. So, it can go. Okay. Emma.
• 1:22:52
  Okay. I would love to talk about this for a second. Because,
• 1:22:54
  like, don't you think it's because women go into the trip with so many expectations
• 1:23:01
  and so many to-dos on their trip? Yes.
• 1:23:05
  Like our very first trip as a family we
• 1:23:08
  both were like just not both like we're never going back and then
• 1:23:11
  like i got all sentimental and i told
• 1:23:14
  my clients like you're not going to be able to do everything make
• 1:23:18
  a list of three or four must-dos and then but then they get you get so caught
• 1:23:24
  up in like reading all the blogs and looking at all the fake yeah don't do that
• 1:23:27
  you can't miss the tangled lights at blah blah time and i'm like yes you can
• 1:23:32
  actually like you know yeah that's okay.
• 1:23:36
  Exactly it's it's wild yeah i think i think that
• 1:23:39
  is like a huge piece of advice i have for anybody is like don't go expecting
• 1:23:43
  to see every inch of it or you will leave hating your whole family and the money
• 1:23:48
  that you will be in divorce court it is wild okay what questions do we have
• 1:23:54
  left i think Both of y'all have one for me. I had one for you.
• 1:23:59
  And what's your favorite holiday tradition?
• 1:24:04
  Okay. So...
• 1:24:07
  I have decided. I used to try to like do all these other.
• 1:24:11
  I love to bake with my kids, obviously. Like, and I talk about that on my podcast
• 1:24:15
  about my mama passing away.
• 1:24:17
  Like that was just a huge tradition. And I plan to keep that forever with my
• 1:24:21
  kids and my grandkids and all that.
• 1:24:23
  But present day, I got to whisper.
• 1:24:27
  Present day, my favorite is the elf on the shelf.
• 1:24:31
  Like everybody else hates it. Like they don't love it.
• 1:24:35
  Like they think it's a pain. but like it is my
• 1:24:38
  favorite thing from between Thanksgiving and
• 1:24:41
  Christmas to see my kids wake up racing around looking for the L to see all
• 1:24:47
  the funny things that he does you know like it is just I have it is what just
• 1:24:54
  the beginning of November and for a week like since I swear y'all since mid-October
• 1:24:57
  Facebook has been hitting me with ads for Elf of California.
• 1:25:02
  I mean, I love it, you know. So that is probably current day,
• 1:25:06
  my favorite holiday tradition. I love that. I love that. Yep.
• 1:25:10
  Well, my last question was...
• 1:25:13
  Because there's so many, we talked about how one little thing can trip you up.
• 1:25:17
  I was just wondering how you handle days that they all just seem like,
• 1:25:21
  you know, you start out really good and the day just falls apart,
• 1:25:24
  like just totally just falls apart and you're out of your element.
• 1:25:28
  Like, how do you handle that?
• 1:25:30
  I think this has evolved for me over the years. I'm a control freak.
• 1:25:34
  Like, at heart, I love control.
• 1:25:36
  I love to know what the outcome is going to be. I love to like,
• 1:25:40
  you know, if anything throws me off my plan, I get frustrated. Right.
• 1:25:44
  And so I think for me, it has been the more I have leaned into my relationship
• 1:25:52
  with the Lord and like complete surrender.
• 1:25:55
  Right. Like we surrender all the things like our health and our,
• 1:25:59
  you know, family and all this stuff.
• 1:26:00
  But it's also like we've got to learn to surrender the day.
• 1:26:04
  You know what I mean? And there is a reason that today happened exactly how it happened.
• 1:26:09
  And like, we can still be frustrated about that. We can still be unhappy with how it happened.
• 1:26:14
  You know, we can still like logically be like, why on earth,
• 1:26:18
  you know, what good would come out of this that I have to go through the drive-thru
• 1:26:23
  because my crock pot turned off while I was at work when the power went out?
• 1:26:27
  You know what I mean? Like, what good could come from that? But like,
• 1:26:29
  we never know, right? Like it could be because you want to connect with your,
• 1:26:33
  you needed that time to connect with your family or the beans you put in that
• 1:26:38
  crock pot could have had poison in it.
• 1:26:39
  Like you never know. And so I think that's just the power of surrender, true surrender.
• 1:26:49
  And so I think that is just, man, talk about sanctification inside of me, y'all like it's.
• 1:26:56
  It's true surrender to the big stuff, but then you learn, oh,
• 1:26:59
  my gosh, that means it's true surrender to the little stuff,
• 1:27:01
  like when the day falls apart.
• 1:27:03
  And then what comes behind that is the grace, right? Knowing that,
• 1:27:06
  okay, well, did the best we could today.
• 1:27:09
  Tomorrow we're going to try again. You know, we don't give up on ourselves just
• 1:27:12
  because the crock pot went out. You know what I mean?
• 1:27:15
  So I think that that is truly all across my life. That is, you know,
• 1:27:20
  been a powerful thing for me.
• 1:27:21
  That's such a good reminder. It is good. Yes.
• 1:27:24
  All right. Anything else before we wrap up?
• 1:27:28
  You were talking about just surrendering. Like I said, my last child is 22,
• 1:27:33
  and he's just gotten a full-time job.
• 1:27:37
  We were actually on vacation when he was working for Amazon,
• 1:27:40
  a logistics company that delivers just for Amazon.
• 1:27:43
  He got a text on vacation terminating all the guys. The 100-something drivers got a group text.
• 1:27:51
  And he was having issues finding a job. anyway it's a college town he's living
• 1:27:55
  it you know it's just a whole bit and he's he's somewhere on the spectrum we
• 1:27:58
  don't know where so we've always said you know he's just like a mystery but
• 1:28:01
  he was so he loved that job so much and it just almost it just it,
• 1:28:07
  It kind of hampered our vacation, but I tried not to make it the topic of our
• 1:28:12
  conversation for vacation.
• 1:28:14
  He found out on Tuesday. We still had to watch Saturday. And I said,
• 1:28:18
  let's just try to relax, you know, and pray about it. And so he's gotten a job at Lowe's.
• 1:28:23
  But I found myself looking at Life360 for several weeks to see if he made it to work.
• 1:28:30
  But you do that as parents. I think, I want to let go, you know,
• 1:28:34
  but I want to see if he's really, you know, going to work. You know,
• 1:28:38
  it's just the whole mindset.
• 1:28:39
  Like, but he never did not want a job. He says, Mama, I love that.
• 1:28:43
  It wasn't like he quit the job, but you almost have that.
• 1:28:46
  You want to, like you said, control. I wanted to control him,
• 1:28:48
  make sure he gets there and, you know, does a certain way and acts a certain
• 1:28:52
  way, you know. And guys just got it, you know.
• 1:28:55
  And he ended up getting a job at night with one of the guys that does construction
• 1:28:59
  for after hours. So I'm so proud of, so I just don't check like 360 anymore,
• 1:29:05
  but it's hard not to, you know.
• 1:29:07
  And we, that is one of the things about, we have so many options at our fingertips now.
• 1:29:12
  Like, you know, when your, when your other kids were young, you didn't have like 360.
• 1:29:18
  I'm just so scared that something's going to happen that I'm already getting my body ready for fail.
• 1:29:25
  I mean, that's terrible that I live like that. Like, I just think if I say something
• 1:29:29
  out loud that somebody's doing good in my family, that she's going to fall apart.
• 1:29:34
  You know, it's just going to be, that's terrible. But yeah, no,
• 1:29:37
  I think a lot of us are wired that way. Right. Like we talked about this in the program.
• 1:29:41
  Like we are, our brains are wired to go. You already think we're going to mess up, you know?
• 1:29:45
  Yeah. Yeah. And so that's why it's so important to constantly like be in the word.
• 1:29:51
  Pray to be reminded like, yes, our brain is going to go negative.
• 1:29:55
  Yes, we are going to try to control it. So like, what can we do other than surrender
• 1:29:59
  and say like, all right, God, you've got it.
• 1:30:01
  I'm going to have to turn this Life 360 off or like trust that him getting fired
• 1:30:04
  or laid off or whatever was God's plan.
• 1:30:09
  And I'm dealing with that even with my kids, like Sarah Mason's in fifth grade
• 1:30:13
  and we're learning friend circles and all the things.
• 1:30:16
  And I'm trying to navigate her friend service. And I'm like, I know.
• 1:30:21
  Yeah. And, and just, just keep reinforcing to her that, that her self-worth does not come from them.
• 1:30:28
  That's right. Like a life came on to me in fifth, about fifth grade where I,
• 1:30:31
  I was worried about somebody's talking about me. Is that person talking about me?
• 1:30:35
  Mom kind of reassured me that, Hey, you know what?
• 1:30:39
  That's not who defies, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:30:42
  But it took a minute. I mean, I'm not going to lie. You get inside your it you
• 1:30:46
  know you think oh they're talking about me you know i didn't have that until i was,
• 1:30:50
  mid-20s yeah it's just or and there
• 1:30:53
  are some women that are in going into their 40s
• 1:30:56
  that still struggle with that right yeah you know like it it's a blessing that
• 1:31:01
  pam that you learn that that early yeah and i i have one true friend that you
• 1:31:05
  can just pick up the phone or message and tell them anything and to me that's
• 1:31:10
  i wasn't ever wanting to hang out with a big crowd anyway it just wasn't me,
• 1:31:15
  But I didn't, like I said, I did the cheerleading, the ball.
• 1:31:17
  I wasn't like I was antisocial, but they were my friends on the team.
• 1:31:22
  You know, I didn't have to come home with it, you know.
• 1:31:24
  You didn't trust them with your heart. No, no, no.
• 1:31:28
  All right, y'all. Well, this is such a good conversation. I know we went over. We always go over.
• 1:31:35
  So I am so glad that our ladies, listen, just got to hear from you guys and like real life stuff.
• 1:31:41
  You know what I mean? And real experience stuff. And so thank you guys for tuning in and listening.
• 1:31:47
  And as always, remember to say grace.