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Book Review - Flourish by Martin Seligman · The Happiness in Retirement® Hour

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Welcome to the Happiness in Retirement podcast, where
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we help you turn your retirement dreams into reality. Each
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week, we'll dive into smart financial strategies, lifestyle
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tips, and expert insights to help you build a fulfilling and
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secure retirement. Whether you're planning ahead or
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already enjoying retirement, this is your go-to place
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for inspiration and practical advice. So sit
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back, relax, and let's make your golden years the
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Welcome to this episode of the Happiness in Retirement Program podcast. I'm
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Bill Del Sette. Thank you for listening. Today,
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I want to talk about how do we have a good life.
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When I trademarked happiness in retirement, yes, it is in
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fact trademarked, I thought, well, happiness certainly
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is a good thing. Is there something deeper?
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And as it turns out, of course there is. There's meaning, for
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instance. But what is it that creates a
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good retirement or a great life for that matter?
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What are the ingredients that will
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lead to a wonderful life?
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You probably know about The
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studies that have been done about the relationship between money
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and happiness, a lot of research still being done now,
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some conflicting evidence now, but generally speaking, research
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shows that once you reach a certain level of income,
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any income beyond that does not contribute proportionally
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to happiness, and there's a point in fact where happiness kind
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of maxes out. The income level is
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the level at which you can provide for your basic
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needs, food, shelter, clothing, et cetera. And
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once you have those basic needs covered, money generally
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does not buy more happiness. Now, it can be used, I believe, to
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create more meaning, but not necessarily more happiness.
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So if it isn't money or income that is what you
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should be after. Tell that to a lot of folks these days whose
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goal it is to become rich. But if it's not money that leads
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to happiness, if you will, then what exactly does?
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And is it really happiness we're after? Because we all do things
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that don't necessarily make us happy, but perhaps contribute
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to something else that matters to us. And on that
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note, I want to talk about a book by a gentleman you
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may have heard of, The gentleman's name is Martin Seligman.
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S-E-L-I-G-M-A-N. Martin Seligman, he
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is considered the founder of the field of
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psychology, one of the world's leading psychologists. And
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he wrote a book called Flourish. It's a few years old
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now. But in the book, he states that he does not like the
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idea of happiness. what he considers to be a
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good life, what contributes to a good life. Yes, it may
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be happiness is one of the ingredients or one
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of the elements in one of the ingredients, but
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it's not just about feeling good. It's living a life filled
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with meaning, purpose, and connection. Interesting. Notice
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that money isn't in there. Now, I know many of us
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were raised to believe that success was about working hard, raising
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a family, and then if we're lucky, enjoying a peaceful retirement. But
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the truth is, retirement isn't the end of the story. It's just the start
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of a new chapter. And Flourish gives us a roadmap to
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make that chapter rich and fulfilling. The book that Seligman wrote
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is called Flourish. And in that book, he talks
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about the five ingredients to what he
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calls the PERMA model, which leads to a
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flourishing life. Now, notice he didn't call it a life of happiness.
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It doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be happy. Flourishing is
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on a different level. If you're flourishing, yeah, you
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may be happy, but you probably have a whole bunch of other positive
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indicators in your life. PERMA, P-E-R-M-A, stands
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for positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning,
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and accomplishment. Those are the five ingredients, according to
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Seligman, that lead to a flourishing life. So
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let's look at each one of these and how they can contribute to
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an amazing life, whether you're in retirement or not. The
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first is positive emotion, which does include happiness. Now,
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Positive emotion also means gratitude or joy,
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different than happiness, maybe comfort. Gratitude, joy,
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and comfort. Finding the small things that make us
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smile every day. So important. So
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many studies done on the importance of expressing gratitude every
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single day and how just doing that one act every
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day consistently can actually make you happier. Great
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book, The Gratitude Diaries by Janice Kaplan.
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K-A-P-L-A-N was a bestseller. She
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spent a year expressing gratitude and she was very
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intentional about it in all areas of her life. And
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what a difference it made in her life. Great read. The importance of
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gratitude that can create positive emotion.
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Being happy, certainly. There is well being comfortable
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the small things that make you smile so that's positive emotion in
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the perma model next in the perma model for a
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flourishing life is engagement that feeling of
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being in the zone when you're doing something you love years ago
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i wrote a blog post about my neighbor my neighbor was a
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mechanic and you know i was a young kid and i would Go for
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a visit with him sometimes while he was working on cars and the
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guy was just blinded by mechanics you know the guy love this
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work and he was out in this garage for hours and hours this white
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yelling come on command it's time to eat and he just couldn't get
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enough of it you know he would lose track of time working
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on cars. Well, it turns out he was onto something and that
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feeling of being in the zone or what is known now
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as the flow state. When you're doing something you
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love, Stephen Kotler's work, a book called Gnar Country,
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G-N-A-R by Stephen Kotler, K-O-T-L-E-R, about
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finding flow later in life. It's when
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you lose track of time, what are the things that you do, like
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this mechanic, when you lose track of time. In other words, you're
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not worried about the future, you're not thinking about the past, you're in the moment.
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Whatever you're doing, it's just got a hold of you. This feeling
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of being in the zone, that's engagement. When
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you're doing something you love, when you retire, you've got to have that. We
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talked in the prior episode of the Happiness in Retirement Program
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podcast about The percentage of people that when they retire,
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they aren't any happier. In fact, they could be less happy and
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maybe it's because they don't have that engagement. So engagement
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is so, so important. Finding flow, doing
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things that get you in that state. You know what
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they are for you. And one of Steven Kotler's books called The Rise
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of Superman, he looks at people that do extreme sports and
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they do it because they want to get into this flow state. And
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we could do that. Just simple things, again, gardening, painting, photography,
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big one, volunteering. So engagement, the second ingredient
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to a flourishing retirement. First, positive emotion, gratitude,
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joy, comfort. Second, engagement, being in the zone, doing
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things you absolutely love. doing number three
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the third ingredient in the perma model of flourishing is
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relationships i've read that lonely
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or loneliness can be just as bad for your health is smoking two
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packs of cigarettes a day staying socially connected. It's
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so important to research around this is unequivocal. Investing
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in friendships, family, and new communities. When you retire,
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when you stop working, if you have a job where you
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have social connections, you may lose those connections. And
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then you've got to create new ones, which is fine, but it
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becomes more difficult later in life to do so. So it's
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going to take effort on your part to do that.
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We know loneliness can be a challenge in retirement. Relationships are
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key. And how do you go about creating new relationships?
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Make it a goal. Read How to Win Friends and Influence
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People, the classic by Dale Carnegie. Classic,
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classic book about relationship building. So
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maintaining and creating new relationships, maybe
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you're going to move. Maybe when you stop working, maybe when you
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retire, you're going to go to a different state. You got to maintain those
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friendships. You got to stay close with family. And if
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you can't, you've got to create new relationships, which is going to take an
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effort on your part. Next in this PERMA model of
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flourishing is meaning. Feeling part of something
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bigger. So important. Many, many people feel
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that meaning is the most important part of it all. You've
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got to find meaning. And again, many people find meaning in their work.
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It doesn't have to be anything life-changing. It doesn't
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have to be anything grandiose. You can be
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a carpenter or a janitor and finding meaning in
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your work, it doesn't matter what the work is. It could be mentoring
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others, it could be volunteering or involved in
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faith or service, being of service, religion. Classic
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book and the importance of meaning is Viktor Frankl's
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Man's Search for Meaning. Viktor Frankl, F-R-A-N-K-L.
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Viktor Frankl and his family were shipped off to Anansi concentration
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camp and he lost his entire family there. He almost died
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on numerous occasions. And in his own words, the
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people that made it out of the concentration camps were the ones that
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had something to live for that would give that meaning. And
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according to Frankel, one of the most important aspects of
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living. So what do you do that gives you meaning? If
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it's work and you stop working, well, you better find a way to find
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meaning. Outside of work maybe again it's a hobby maybe
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it's being of service maybe it's contributing giving back
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maybe it's your faith whatever it may be mentoring others volunteering
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different ways to find me. The fifth ingredient in
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the perma model of flourishing is accomplishment. Setteng
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and achieving goals even small ones learning a new skill running a five
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k finishing a project walking a five k
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things to give you a sense of pride you'll notice that
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pretty much every single one of these ingredients to a flourishing life
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can be found at work. And
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for those of us that have worked a good long time you
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have to find a way. to have these ingredients in
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your life outside of work. You've got to create them. Again,
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great book on accomplishment. It's called Drive the
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Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by a gentleman, very
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popular author right now, Daniel Pink, P-I-N-K. Drive
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the Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, and guess what? It's
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not money. As Daniel Pink writes, so when you
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stop working, you've got to find a way to be engaged. You've
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got to find a way to build or maintain relationships.
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You've got to find meaning and you've got to find accomplishment. You've
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got to set goals, never ever stop. Setteng goals
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and achieving those goals doesn't have to be again grandiose could
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be small ones but all of these things that many people
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find in their work life many of the ingredients of the
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promo model now you've got to find outside of work life
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if you stop working or don't stop working. Now, how
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does this also relate to money? Well, what if you were to
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use your money knowing about the retirement income smile and
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how we gradually spend less as we age out, then
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how can you spend your money such that you
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will generate positive emotion, engagement, build relationships and
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meaning and accomplish things? Well,
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certainly in the engagement category, I don't
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know, Whatever it is, whatever turns you on. Are you
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the mechanic working on the car for hours? Do more of that. Maybe
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it's skydiving. Maybe it's golfing. Whatever it
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may be, gardening. For me, it's photography, man. I'm out
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there with my camera and spend a while, but I could spend hours
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and hours. doing landscape photography just out there
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in the country early in the morning when you practice photography you've
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got to get up early to catch that good light and you're just out there and
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you're in the moment and what a great feeling that's flow so
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what is it for you? where you're going to get this engagement being
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in the zone. What about relationships? Where are you going
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to find those relationships? How are you going to build relationships? How
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are you going to get involved? Maybe it's volunteering, maybe it's
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mentoring, maybe it's being more involved in your church, if
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that's your thing. And if you get that at work, if those relationships
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are work-related as they are for so many of us, you've got
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to find a way to maintain relationships afterward.
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And accomplishment, same kind of thing. Work is one
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of the main ways people feel accomplished is in their work. And
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meaning certainly falls in that category as well. So how are you going to
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find meaning? So just some things to think about. If you read the book,
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Flourish by Martin Seligman, think about how are you going
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to get these elements of PERMA that will cause you
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to flourish in retirement? How are you going to get positive emotion?
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How are you going to remain engaged? Who are the people that will make up
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the relationships in your retirement? Where are you going to find the meaning
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and what are you going to do to remain accomplished
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or accomplishing? So important. Seligman talks
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about people in their 60s, 70s, or 80s who are
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thriving because they found their purpose and connection. And all
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of this is backed up with science. It's not just fluff. It's research based
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and proven to make life richer now. There
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is an exercise in the book in which Sullivan talks about
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signature strength signature strength in
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the context of positive psychology, are the character traits
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that are most prominent and meaningful to you making unique and
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authentic, There are the qualities you enjoy expressing that
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energize you, leading to increased well-being and
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performance, and how this all ties back to the PERMA model.
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So, some homework for you, please, as part of this.
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I want you to Google a VIA, V-I-A,
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character strengths, signature strengths test, and
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go and take the test. It's called the VIA survey,
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V-I-A survey, and it is free, and
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it will take about 10 minutes, and it'll help you discover your signature
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strengths that will help you do all the things. fulfill
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on the ingredients of the PERMA model. For instance, increase
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happiness and well-being, finding meaning and purpose, boosting relationships,
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managing stress and health, and accomplishing goals. Once you know
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those signature strengths, you can put them to work.
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And the idea is to do the things that
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will lead you to have happiness and meaning
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in retirement. What struck me most about the book
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Flourish is how it applies to the retiree journey. After decades
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of working, we often ask ourselves, what next? What's now?
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According to Seligman, and I certainly absolutely can agree with this, that
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we can still grow, we can still make a contribution, we can still
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matter at any age. As Seligman writes, one
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of my favorite quotes in the book, the good life consists in
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deriving happiness by using your signature strengths every
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day in the main realms of your life. That
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means using the gifts you've built over a lifetime, your wisdom, patience,
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humor, compassion, to keep contributing to
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the world in a way that feels true to you. So
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whether you're newly retired or have been for years, the book Flourish offers
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practical tools and thoughtful inspiration for building a life
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of purpose, connection, and joy. It's a reminder that just because we've
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left the nine to five behind, it doesn't mean
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we stop growing. In fact, maybe now is when we
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really begin to flourish. Thank you for joining me
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on the Happiness in Retirement Program podcast. If flourish
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resonates with you or if you've found ways to
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bring more meaning into your life after retirement, I'd love to hear
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from you. Send me a message at bill at happinessinretirement.com. Until
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next time, keep reading, keep growing, and remember it's
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never too late to flourish. Talk to you soon.
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Del Ceti Capital Management, LLC. Del Ceti is
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a registered investment advisor. Advisory services are only
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offered to clients or prospective clients where Del Ceti and its representatives
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are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. For additional information,
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please visit our website at www.happinessinretirement.com. That's
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it for today's episode of the Happiness in Retirement Program podcast.
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We hope you found some valuable insights to help you create the retirement
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you deserve. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to
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subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who's planning for
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their future. For more tips and resources, visit happinessinretirement.com
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or the Del Ceti Capital Management Facebook page. Until next
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time, here's to a happy, healthy, and financially secure