Latest / The Living Freed Podcast / Loving Others Well
Transcript
- Speaker 2: Happy Thursday, everyone, and welcome back to the Living Freed Podcast. We are so happy to have you here. I actually wanted to tell you today that I was talking with a client and this is just a brag about myself in a world that everyone's on social media. She said that I'm a very good conversationalist. She was like, You don't meet a lot of young people who can hold a conversation. I said, You're not wrong. Yeah, you're So that's what I said earlier. I was like, I have something to tell you. Okay, okay. That's what I had to tell you. Nothing crazy. Speaker 1: Okay. Like so cute. It is cute. It is cute. It was very it's very cute. Are we supposed to introduce hosts? Speaker 2: yeah. Anyways. Speaker 1: I'm your host, Serena, and this is Speaker 2: And this is And I'm Anna Liz. Thank you. Everything you keep saying is such a throwback to how our parents talk. Yeah, it triggered it for Speaker 1: I talked to my dad today, so maybe that was it. Thirties. Speaker 2: Wait, so you talked to your dad today? Mm-hmm. So did you do anything else? Speaker 1: I worked. I worked. I cleaned, adulted, I read the Bible. It didn't work out like I planned on it, but Speaker 2: I was curious if you're gonna work out or not. Speaker 1: really planned on it but it just seemed like time was not on my side today. And I might do it after this, so we shall see. Speaker 2: Yeah. I really wanted to work out with you today, but I slept until 8 30 and it was so nice. I really needed that sleep. So y'all, I two nights in a row, I basically was awake all night. the first reason sometimes I ch just can't sleep. I don't know why, but like once every few months, I just will not be able to sleep for a night. And typically that's when I would go to the gym at like three in the morning until five and then I get home and then I'm ready to take a nap before I leave for work again. But I don't want to go to that planet fitness by myself at three AM. That would scare me. No. Yeah. The my old planet fitness for short. It's safe. I knew everybody. It's a s like good area. This one I get scared to go during the day by myself sometimes. So I was not going at three AM by myself. And then the other night that was just on me. that was on me. Yeah. I just made some decisions. That's on me. Speaker 1: So besides sleepless nights, what else have you been up? Speaker 2: So then I was tired. So what I've been up to is tired, girl. Well and then after that first sleepless night, we went to Ikea. Ooh. Pan over to the bookshelf. I'm kidding, don't do that. It's in a box. It's not I'm gonna work on it tomorrow. Speaker 1: I literally want like this is if we're gonna be able to put a picture up there. We'll see one day. Test your editing skills. Speaker 2: Yeah, we could do that. Not yet. that's my what's in. I keep while I'm Speaker 1: Skip to what's in the crazy Speaker 2: thinking about it, while it's on my brain. what else I did was work Speaker 1: Okay. Speaker 2: and I feel like I've been really boring the last week. Dinner with the girl. Speaker 1: I'd like to differ. I'd like to differ. It just like I don't think you've been boring. I just think you may be too tired to remember everything. Speaker 2: Yeah, I went out Saturday night, which is why I was up all night. And I remembered why I don't like to go out. Yeah. I'ma be honest, I remembered because there was this older guy who's not old. He wasn't old, that's unfair. He was too old for me at my time. I don't know like shade throw shade at people, but he definitely was in his late thirties, and that's just not for me. That's all I have to say. And he was trying to talk to me and I thought, The music is too loud in here. Why are you trying to talk to me? And I don't want to talk to you. And I have my sunglasses on so that no one could see my eyes, so that no one would so I didn't come off approachable. And then he was like, What type of music do you like to listen to? blah blah blah blah I was like, Okay And then he's like, Do you like nineties R and V? I Yeah. He starts listing rappers from the nineties and I just looked at him and said, I wasn't even alive Speaker 1: This seems on par with South Florida, to be honest. Speaker 2: I was barely conscious at the time. Like, I don't know any of the names you just listed. Biggie is that one? I don't know. He didn't say it. I would know that one. Yeah. Yeah, I was just really annoyed. I don't like I don't know about other people, aka y'all, but I hate being approached by a man when I'm out at the at like a bar dancing with the girls. I hate it. Don't approach me. Don't talk to me. Don't even look at me. Speaker 1: I had so many things go through my head at that moment because I was thinking, I don't mind that, but also I'm with Hugo and I don't mind a little jealousy, so but also we don't really go out like that. Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all don't go out. Speaker 1: So we'll go on an adventure but not the same thing. I mean too. Speaker 2: Love just dancing. and I will dance sober, which is pretty much what I did. I only had a couple of drinks, but the men were just on my last nerve. Mm. And I yeah, so that's what I've been up to, getting pissed. Ooh, what am I looking for? Do we have something going on this week? No. we have your friend's birthday party. Speaker 1: yeah, the rodeo. Well not rodeo but it's rodeo themed. Yeah, that's That'll be nice. And then her twin sister has her birthday thing the next day. And then next week we have Sense Insensibility. I'm so excited. Speaker 2: So excited. That's gonna be so good. Speaker 1: But let's see, for me, I've been mainly up to work. This week is gonna be a little slower with work, thank the Lord. I could use a tiny bit of rest on that one. And then what else? We got sick from the copper. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: the copper dispenser that was in was leaching too much copper. It's and it it definitely got sick. So not great. Copper. You know, health-wise is supposed to be very good for you within reason, obviously. So clocked that one out. I redid my room a lot of ways, a lot of decoration that I haven't got to do, and I've always wanted to. I got some frames, did my sticker montage, and I'm gonna do my what's in, which is actually not the sticker montage, it is my new comforter, which that thing is amazing. I've been having struggles with sleep also, and as soon as I got that, I just like curled up in it. It's like the perfect temperature keeps me nice and cold though. Also nice and warm, covers me all the way up. I just I sleep so well with it. I don't I'm gonna have to figure that out. Speaker 2: I just What's the name of it? They should sponsor you on this. Speaker 1: It was a game changer. What's out? The copper. So that Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: specific one, but I'm not I'm down to try other copper things that aren't gonna leech so hard. There's another what's out, and I can't think about it right now. I can't remember. Speaker 2: You know what's out? People you start the dishwasher half full. Speaker 1: É o Aja Mim, é o Lojim. Speaker 2: out let me tell you who did it Hugo Speaker 1: Well you mean Alex. Speaker 2: her boyfriend future fiance future mister Serena he's out Speaker 1: Future behind the camera, laughing at us person. Speaker 2: He is out. how dare he run our dishwasher half empty? Because in this case, I am a half empty person. The cup, half full or half empty, half full. The dishwasher was half empty. We're not we don't start it like that. Speaker 1: Valid. It is valid. It's a valid thing. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So yeah, that's all I have to say. Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all I have. Alright, let's dive into this week's episode. Alright, y'all. So this week we are talking about loving others well. And I feel like that's my life motto. Speaker 1: yeah, a hundred percent. I actually have a verse I'd like to start with before we even jump in. This is first John seven, and then I'm gonna do first John's sorry, first John four, verse seven, and verse eleven. Verse seven says, Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Verse 11 says, Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. Mm. Speaker 2: Mm, so what does it mean to you to love s one another? So how do you take that? Speaker 1: To love one another, well, would say I would think of the second greatest commandment. love your neighbor as yourself. So, if I personally wouldn't want something happening, to me or being treated a certain way, I probably shouldn't treat someone else that way. One of the things I think about is maybe like at church in the lobby, if I see someone like hanging around, I just remember what it's like to like stand there and just hope that someone's gonna walk up to me or like introduce 'cause all I want is the connection and be like Okay, I know what that felt like and because I w just wanted to be known and loved in that way. This is how I'm gonna turn up as well. For someone that I don't know at least. Speaker 2: I like that you said that because back at Midway we always had this saying that was like make people happy that they came to church. And I hated, I hated that they would say that. Make people happy that they came to church in our huddle. Like we pray and be like, one, two, three, make people happy. And I was like, that's not the point. Yeah. To be happy you came to church. I was like, we should be making people feel loved when they walk through the stores. And I'd always say that to our leaders, like, we need to change our mantra, like make people feel loved when they come to church. And they're like, no, that's just like that. That's that's not right. Like that's different or that's too much. Yeah. That's too much. I got rebuked all the time when I'd be like, we should go serve the homeless. And they're like, we need to be serving only the body of Christ. I'm like, you are the body. Let's serve outside. There's a couple I love that for reasons I wasn't there anymore. But yeah, their mantra was always like, make people happy they came to church. And it's like not to pat myself on the back, but I remember a couple of people told not a couple, a handful of people said the only reason I kept coming to this church was because you made me feel so loved when I walked through the door. And I was excited to see you because I knew like I was so unbelievably welcomed in that space because of you. And that just like when they said those words to me, it just meant the world because I wanted people to feel loved when they came into my like came into my space, but I wasn't sure if I was ever doing it well or doing it right. But like I said in in the beginning of the intro, which is I really feel like God gave me that heart and vision for like wanting to love others well in my life at a young age and I'm always trying to like implement it. Speaker 1: Yeah. I actually think about I think about that 'cause when you told me that story originally, I was thinking about Oceanside and how there are many times where I've I've said like I I'd like to see this roll ball roll and how I didn't think I could do it myself and then I think about your story there and how like things changed and I just like took one person making that act over and over for it to start like s like spreading. Yeah. And I was like, okay, well I just have to stay consistent. in the same kind of love I have for people and not get tired of giving that. Yes. I'm sure Jesus got tired of the amount of pushback he had. Speaker 2: I'm sure he did 'cause I got tired and I'm just a girl. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: I really am. But you can. You can make such a difference just as one and hoping that it impacts someone enough that they want to make the difference too. Especially in churches, I feel like that's important. But knowing also what loving others well looks like. Mm for yourself but also in this world because I feel like we live in a very complicated world and how we know that we're doing it in a biblical way, not to like sound too cheesy, but like based off of theology versus like, this just feels right. Does that make sense? It does make sense. Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Makes sense, yeah. Speaker 2: So what does it mean to you? Like when you're thinking about at church greeting people or in your natural spaces of life, like what does that look like to you loving people well? Speaker 1: You talk about like strangers or like friends and family? I do find that it's different in each circumstance, like each friendship, they get a little different kind of access. Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. I think that let's just talk about we can go like case by case. So your family, what like how do you show up loving them well? Speaker 1: I feel like that's a little harder now because we're at such a distance, like so far. So n now I'd say just trying to stay consistent with staying up to date with them. Mm-hmm. And I think I talk to right now faith one of the most and possibly my parents more recently. but a lot of times us showing up to e to each other I'd say is like we get in conversations about Bible and kind of like making sure we're on the right page there and then Speaker 2: second y'all this shirt's driving me crazy I'm so sorry I just know I'm gonna be adjusting it the whole time Speaker 1: You're good. probably the only other thing is a prayer. So if there's something going on. So my grandfather, he had cancer and it's like there's not too much you can do there besides just make sure that they know that you're thinking about them, that you're praying for them. Especially when you're at such a distance. Yeah. So if they were right here it might be a little bit different. you can you can approach it with more, but I don't know what else I can do here on that one. As far as friends There's so many different ways to show up for them. It just depends on their circumstance. Speaker 2: I think that's the whole point though. Yeah. You know it is so case by case. Like Speaker 1: It is case by case. Speaker 2: how I would show up for you and loving you well would depend on the circumstance and the space versus like for example what I've experienced recently with another friend. I showed up for her very differently. I think you would have wanted me to show up in a different way for you. Yeah. Probably. You know? and so it is case by case, like each person how you love them. Speaker 1: A hundred percent. If you were well, let's talk about the stranger for you. How would you love the stranger first? Every day. Speaker 2: You know, I deal with strangers every day. Every day. Every single day. And it's interesting 'cause being in a hair salon you would think people are excited to get their hair done. And sometimes they are. And sometimes they're just so mean. Yeah. They just come in so grumpy, and I always tell my assistants, like, never take someone's personality as it is right off the bat until you get past the scalp massage. Sometimes that fully changes them. Like you would be surprised. I've had people be so mean and we finish the scalp massage and it's like the nicest person in the world. And they just had a migraine. And that goes back to everyone's fighting a battle, you know nothing about. But with Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: strangers in my day-to-day life, whether it's at the salon in their in my chair. Or I'm at the coffee shop, or it's the homeless man on the corner, whoever it is. I always won for me, try to have like simply this is gonna sound so simple, like basic eye contact and treating them like they're actually a human being. Whether again it is a client in my chair, it's someone at the coffee shop, it's the man on the corner. I'm not gonna pretend like, hey, how are you and move on? Like I wanna actually sit there and be like, hey, how is your day going? Like being very intentional with eye contact. my words and stopping to listen versus just being okay like stop versus listening to respond and go moving on. Speaker 1: Okay. I actually have two things that I thought about when you mentioned that. One, when people are not coming off well or their personality is definitely coming off negatively, whether you know them or not, how do you make sure that your heart does not harden towards them? Speaker 2: I personally choose not to take things personal. Yeah. I really do. I have realized so much of this world is n not revolved around me. Speaker 1: Yeah, a hundred percent. Once you get out of that, it really clears up a lot. Speaker 2: If someone is mean to me, like even with hair, if someone doesn't like their hair, and listen, y'all, I've been doing it for 10 years. I had clients fly regularly from New York to come see me to get their hair done. That's how good I am. I know I'm good. So if someone didn't like their hair, I didn't take it personal. Yeah. And it's not like I'm too good. How could you not like it? It was like a I don't have a dog in a fight. You're the one wearing it. Yeah. You don't like it. What matters to me is that you don't like it. You're not hating on my work. Even if you are hating on my work, that's fine. It's about you. Like what's going on with you. Yeah. And so yeah, if someone's mean to me, even outside of that and like regular actions or is just passive or rude, it's just not mine to take personal at the end of the day. I'm not that s we're not that special. Speaker 1: I always think special. I know. I always think when especially if it's someone that I've known, even if it's stranger, it's just like doing showing up the same way every single time and being like so like if I got in a fight with a friend or maybe they just broke my trust and I can't be the same kind of friend with them, I still make sure not to throw show up awkward or off or petty because that's not helpful at all and it's not loving in any kind of way and it kind of takes away from where focus needs to be. And so it's like showing up consistently with a certain behavior all the time, no matter how they're treating you because you need to show them like you're being normal. Speaker 2: Do a really good job of that, and I will say, y'all, like she has encouraged me in that way because I've had a lot going on with my family. And when I went home for the wedding, there's like a two in particularly, I was not excited to be around, yeah, to say the least. And I went out of my way to show up how I always show up, because I had your voice in the back of my head, and I greeted them all the same, and was equally excited to be in their presence all the same, and they were still very rude to me. But But I realised you know what, at least it's like not my fault. Speaker 1: It's just easier to look back on and be like, At least I was like still in my way loving them because it just causes confusion, especially if you're going to church and you're acting a certain way and now all they're thinking about is the interaction or talking to other people or you're encouraging Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Speaker 1: b more bad behavior. It's just taking away from why we're there. Yeah. So n not even worth doing that. So that's what I think we spend so much time at church, it just makes sense to there. Even outside of church. We want to be a good example and people if you're going around and you're changing behavior based on how other people are reacting, yeah. It it just doesn't look good for you and who what you're trying to embody. Speaker 2: I always think too when I'm meeting someone new or I'm in a w weird situation like I was with my family is like how would Jesus show up? Like if he was standing right here right now next to me, how would I be like how do I think he would be approaching this or this person? And it goes back to like even the random homeless person on the coun corner that most people pretend don't exist. Like would Jesus see them? Yeah. And is that how I wanna be? 'Cause I wanna be a representation of who he is. And it is as simple as asking them their name. Yeah. You know, because they don't get to hear their name said often and repeating it back to them because I believe that's what Jesus would do. And I think that's an easy loving thing to do. Or with your family. Like you said, like with mine or awkward situations with friends. Just still loving them and treating them the same. But you have boundaries now. Yeah. There's a new wall up that they get to encounter when they try to cross over those boundaries. Speaker 1: So let's talk about boundaries and loving somebody. Yeah. Speaker 2: Ha so fun. Yeah, so fun. So you weren't here, but we did a whole p boundaries episode last season. Mm-hmm. And one of the metaphors I used was given to me after I went through a situation with your sister in law. And the bo the metaphor that was used with me was a house and they were saying like, Okay, you have a house You there's some people like the FedEx man that's allowed up your driveway and onto the front porch. Yeah. There's some people you would let on your front porch and you might hand a cup of coffee to. Yeah. There's some people that will be allowed to sit in your living room and drink that coffee. There's some people who can be in the kitchen and see the sinks in the sink, or sinks in the sink, the dishes in the sink, and can watch you cook the food and hang out with you in the kitchen. And then there's some people who are allowed in your personal bedroom that see the dirty pile the pile of dirty laundry in the corner. Yeah. And each of those Speaker 1: Yeah, or I guess how much access you give them just because you're loving them doesn't give them unlimited ac Speaker 2: Yeah, so like some people had access all the way to my bedroom mm and then I decided actually you aren't even allowed up the driveway anymore. I'll meet you on the corner down the road. Yeah. I'll hand stuff over to you then. I mean but we Speaker 1: See that with Jesus, he doesn't give access to everybody and then he has so he has he has everybody the crowd, Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the Speaker 1: then he has the disciples, and then he has the three disciples that come with him even closer in. And so you see the access there. It's not that he loved others, like didn't love people, it's just that there were different levels of relationship. Yes. And more going on in certain places, you know. So Yeah. That makes sense, yeah. So I think boundaries are healthy as long as they're not selfish. Yes. There is there is healthy boundaries and then there's like overly selfish boundaries and I think we talked we talked about this earlier. But you know it if it's bib tell tell us the one that you were mentioning earlier about the five miles. Speaker 2: The five miles. Speaker 1: So the girl said, well I'm trying Speaker 2: Yeah, so there is this girl I was I think it was actually a client who was telling me about this and she was like, I'm trying to meet my friend for coffee but she always does this thing where she's like I'm working on my boundaries. Can you I'm trying not to like my five mile radius, can you drive to me to get coffee? And she's like, Yeah, that's a forty five minute drive though when originally we agreed to meet halfway. Yeah. And she's like she's using boundaries as an excuse, but that's that's not a boundary, that's a pro Speaker 1: Just like equipping it's that is equipping your selfishness. Yeah, I think. It's a tool to get people to do what you want. It's not the most manipulation in the in the quote unquote I'm trying to be healthy for myself. But it's Speaker 2: Just Speaker 1: not. And in Jesus has boundaries and he calls out people and he is not offended to I mean sorry, he's not bothered to offend people in it, but his boundaries are biblical boundaries, you know. So if it's calling you yeah, so boundaries Aren't always great, but they are such a good tool when it comes to too much access or not enough access. Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. I think that we one, you should have healthy boundaries. Everyone should have boundaries of some kind. I don't think there are unhealthy boundaries. I think there's unhealthy preferences to keep you comfortable. Okay, yeah. because a boundary is something like when you feel unsafe and there's a warning going off in your brain and you're like, Wow, that made me not feel safe. That whether that was physically, mentally, emotionally, what have you, excuse me. So I think all of us should have boundaries, but I think our preferences we sometimes need to push aside because that's where like we come become so self centered. Speaker 1: yeah. And I think a lot of times people will feel the need to say yes all the time because they feel like that's loving somebody. But that's But that's not the case. Sometimes you have to be I wouldn't say be harsh or be like or say something and be just be like, Well, it's the truth. Yeah. That's not kind. And that's probably not being delivered kindly. But there is sometimes you do have to say things that aren't comfortable and sometimes you have to say no and that's not comfortable. Yeah. There's something else I was gonna say about that. I can't remember. Speaker 2: about truth in loving people well. Like let's say there's something going on that is untruthful or unright or something that they let's use the case they are Christian, okay, but they're doing something that's not biblical. How do you approach them in a space that's loving them well? Speaker 1: I feel like I I use the same almost phrasing. So, like one of my friends wants to live with her boyfriend and tells me that that's what God wants for her. I'm like, this isn't what the Bible says. This doesn't correlate with the Bible. So I would be very straightforward with that. If someone came to me, they know I'm very straightforward with what I believe. Speaker 2: you know what I believe and so I'm gonna respond to you with my worldview and I feel like you came to me for a reason. So this is I love you. you have options that does not have to be your option. Yeah. And that's pretty much and then I go forward from there. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: All you can do sometimes is just show up and say that and do it lovingly. It doesn't mean you need to condemn them. Yeah. Speaker 1: Absolutely. I had a fr situation with one of my best friends back home where she did something that I didn't think was right and I didn't agree with and it ended up hurting somebody else that we knew. and she asked me at one point, I remember we were on a trip and she was like, Does it bother you how I handled this situation? And I looked at her and I said, Now that you asked, because I wasn't gonna just throw my opinion at you because you hadn't asked. no, I don't agree with it. I don't think it was kind. I don't think you handled it well. I do think you owe them an apology, but I don't want you to apologize because you want me to be okay with you. Yeah. I want you to apologize because you feel the need to apologize. Because otherwise it's not a true apology. And I don't know if she ever apologized or not. That's really not my business at the end of the day. But I was telling her because I love you, I feel like this is out of your character and out of your behavior. And this is why I feel like this is what you need to do. Yeah. Because right now I'm uncomfortable, and yeah, I am a little upset with you over how this has gone down. Versus if it was a stranger and she asked me. Actually, there was this one time there's this random girl telling me about another stranger, and I didn't know either girl, the girl talking to me, or this about the stranger, and she was like, Don't you think I'm right in this? And I was No, girl, you're not. You were wrong. You were a mean friend and a mean roommate. Like, and she's like, I can't believe you said that. I said you asked. Here's the thing about me, y'all. Serena knows this, never ask. my opinion unless you want it because I'll be honest, but I usually keep my opinions to myself until someone has asked me. Speaker 2: So when does it become a a point where you actually have to step up and say something when that they're not asking for it? Speaker 1: So I feel like that's case by case in the sense of is it a friend? Mm-hmm. And are they doing something that's unbiblical? Yes, there have been times that I've had to like go up to and be like, Hey listen, we have to have a serious But if it's a stranger, are they a Christian? Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Speaker 1: I feel like if I don't have a relationship with them, what am I how am I even supposed to do that, you know? Yeah. Because Speaker 2: Do you think it becomes a little Speaker 1: Jesus doesn't really like Jesus always built a r some type of relationship with people. Even the woman at the well, he like started off with a conversation. And but Speaker 2: You also have him at the temple when he has what's it called? Something righteous n like anger righteous anger. He didn't know then but he still was like, What is wrong with you? Yeah Speaker 1: that wasn't like out of the space of like, let me love these people well. That was a righteous anger. And I feel like that's a different conversation. Speaker 2: Okay. Speaker 1: I think loving a stranger well if you happen to know this situation is meeting them where they are, letting them tell you what's going on, and then giving advice or an opinion. But I don't think that I've ever been called I don't see anywhere in the Bible where God says an approach a stranger and tell them what they're doing wrong with their life. Speaker 2: Have had several friends before. Usually it's like a confide they confide in me. Whether they're Christians or not, they'll confide in me. But they do know where I stand on a lot of this stuff. So and then I hear like someone sent them a message, a random stranger, and it's like condemning or telling them, I just want you to know that I think this is wrong. Like w what kind of authority do you think you have here? How do you think this is helping the situation? Do you think this is making a positive impact here? Because most of the time it's n no. The only time maybe not the only time, but one of the biggest times I find where you to can approach a stranger or someone that you don't know as well is leadership. If you're in a place of leadership, you have a different kind of responsibility. If there's another stranger out and about just yelling nonsense, I don't know what it's gonna do for me to walk up and be like Speaker 1: Yeah, like you know this is a terrible example, but you know when you're out at the bars, yeah, and there's those Christian like influencers that are out there and they're like condemning other people for going out to the bars. So often I wanna be like, What is wrong with you? Speaker 2: You know, I I had a thought on that actually recently, 'cause of Paul and saying how we're not supposed to he's talking about women in the moment, but like they're not supposed to be loud in a certain way, like as Christians yelling at other people. And he says it because, you know, who's like that is the prostitutes and all's and and yet They're out there on the corner yelling the exact same way. And so I just I was like, I'm gonna need to dig into this a little bit more, but I thought there it's not a good representation. It's a terrible re I I don't think so. I don't know what you think you're going to do there. Yes, you may get someone, I guess. I I'm not ever limiting what God can do in a box, but it doesn't mean that's God can use anything, Speaker 1: Like God's way. Yes. Speaker 2: he can use your sin, he can use evil, like to allow his will to be done. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: But it doesn't mean that's the way you should be doing conducting yourself. Speaker 1: You know, there's been s example is that like people approaching people and like trying to condemn them in the streets as they're headed to the next bar. And then you have the people that like we've had this situation where you're in the bar and you're talking to someone and they're like, yeah, I haven't been to church in a while and you're like, you should go. In fact, there's been times where I like, I'm going tomorrow morning. I know it's early and we're gonna be tired. Here's my number and they've met up with me after being out to go to church and they're like, like thanks for inviting me, like I'm glad I'm back in church. I'm like, I love this for you. Yeah. But I think there's a way to approach it and yeah me being in the bar maybe not the best light but I also am not out here like s actively sinning when I'm there so not the worst light. Speaker 2: The I'm just thinking about like the different kinds of people in the Bible that you see and how they would talk differently than others and it you can see where some were coming from faith backgrounds and then others were coming from just manipulation or action backgrounds versus like tr like true faith. Yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah. So it just I was just thinking about what you were saying and and how those people are like saying that and I think there is a want. There's a want for a relationship but they may just not know how to grasp it fully yet. Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. So what does the word like 'cause think about loving people well. I always like to break it down. So we have loving people and well. What does love mean to you? If you think about the word Bible Speaker 2: If I think about the word biblically, to be honest, I just always think about Jesus because the Bible literally says, well, he's the word, he's love, he's these things. So if I'm looking at the depiction of love, it's gonna be his actions or just how he's shown up in my life. so you can look at his actions in the in the Bible. He's constantly on his knees, constantly serving, constantly showing up, constantly feeding, constantly teaching. he even allows himself to be you know, tortured for others or for God's will. To be obedient to God, but also, you know, to redeem us. He went through so much. And then I can also look at times where he showed up for me. I mean Over the last ten years, I'm just like looking back at all the things, all the things I went through and the small things that he showed up in where I was like, God, do you even hear me? And then he's just like knocking at my door. I hear you. I hear you. Speaker 1: Okay. Speaker 2: I'll continue. And then or like the big things where now like it's this all of these things have kind of like showed themselves showed themselves to me. I now live much different life, like a very flexible, a very blessed life. And I did before, but it's just like it's different. I would never have expected this. I feel like that was very Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. Speaker 2: vague response, but I don't know how else to respond to it. For you, when you think of not just love, but like doing it well. What does like well mean to you? Like is it great, fully done? Speaker 1: I always think about that verse. It's in First Corinthians and it's like love is patient, love is kind, love is understanding and to me loving people well looks like that. Like am I being patient? Mm-hmm. Am I being kind? Am I being understanding? And is that showing up in the like in the same space, like together? Am I serving? 'Cause love serves. love is not a doormat, love is not like a pushover. But am I acting out of those spaces? 'Cause like you said, they're not words, it's an action. Loving is an action. Like yesterday I was with a friend that was going through something really tough. I was exhausted, two days without sleep. Don't recommend it. And I was on the verge of tears. I was so tired and I just wanted to come home. But this girl needed to go grocery shopping and it was not in a space where she like mentally where she should be doing it by herself. And I went with her and then right on the verge of getting to her apartment where I was like, I can get in my car, I'm gonna put my cup in its cup holder, I'm gonna drive myself home and then I'm gonna crash in bed immediately. She was like, Can you help me bring them up to my apartment? And I was like, Wow, this is like That's three floors and I'm so tired and I've been with you all day and I love you, but we've just talked to so many people. Yeah. And I've only eaten once and I just want to be in my bed and my eyes are ha so heavy and my body physically aches. But y and I was like, Yeah, I would love to do that with you. I would love to bring your groceries up with you. So like put them on my arms and walked up with her and dropped them off and got in the car and I just wanted to cry so bad. But I thought, you know, how would I feel loved in that moment? Speaker 2: I feel like in that it's a good representation too of like Jesus shows up to love us how we need to be loved at that moment, not how he wants to love us, I guess. Or how I guess sometimes we wanna show up and love somebody how we wanna be loved versus how they need to be. Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to meet people where they are. Well and I always say too your energy and your attitude to choice. Speaker 2: A hundred percent. And I was I had an aha moment about that last night. I had an aha moment about that last night, but like, do you think it's easier to love someone well that you know really well? Like really well, the one that knows your like inner parts or the stranger. Like you have that vert, like, you know? Yeah. And Hugo has been a big eye opener for me and I feel like it's almost easier to kn like love those that you know a little a lot less than they're 'cause You're so vulnerable with them, they get to see even the parts of you like that are the annoyances and the anger and and those pieces. And so you kinda have to be like correct yourself more than you might with like a stranger ear, like you you get to show a small piece of yourself, which means you get to love them in those small periods of time. Speaker 1: about to say that earlier, which is like when you're talking about a stranger, which is the more of a relationship, the more of an authority you hold, but the heavier the burden you hold. Cause that's the more you have to show up. So if it's someone like Hugo or like you, is it easier for me to love you more than a stranger? Yes in some ways at the idea of it. But showing up for you could be so much heavier. It could be so much harder because it looks different and it is a different weight and there's a different authority in our friendship versus the times that I've been at church and when I was in leadership and the random girls would come up and they're like, Can you pray over me? Can we get coffee and talk? I really need like some guidance or whatever. or I just w I went through something really bad. I need to meet with somebody. Me showing up for them was it easier? It's easier in a different way. Speaker 2: You know what's funny is I j I was just about to say, like, do you think it's different having to love people well when you are in leadership? Because there is Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: a different a viewpoint. Yeah. Speaker 1: Yeah, I think yes and no, let me say that, because you choose how you serve. And we were talking about this in the car with Hugo the other day, which is like true. I'll never forget, like a leader said this to true leadership is someone who serves. And so I've always been so happy to be the girl in the background that's not on the stage, who's just cleaning up and doing things and meeting with this person or over here, like seeing the random new person that just walked in and sitting down with them and talking. but doing that brings you up in leadership. And I will say though, when I was in leadership, I missed the time so much where I wasn't. and where I could roam around and meet different people and talk with different people and do different things to serve other people and ha have my like dip my toe in all these different waters I guess for lack of a better term. and I do but I think loving people well in leadership is harder because there's a certain expectation of you. Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so because people have sometimes I would say an unrealistic expectation or they're still in the mindset of the world still revolves around you. Why don't you see me? Yes. But in leadership, you have so many people that you're looking over. And that's my concern is like when I'm in any kind of leadership is am I loving enough of them? Yeah, well. Like am I missing people? I'm I'm sure I am and I know I am, but where are they? Are they where Speaker 1: Who are Speaker 2: is the crack but there's always so much going on that like I sometimes don't even notice until later. Yeah. Like, no, I don't know what I missed. Speaker 1: I back at my small group back in Wilmington when I was running that Bible study. We started off with like three of us. It was amazing. It was magical. It was my favorite. Got to be like thirty-eight of us meeting in my apartment. And there are girls lining the walls, sitting on the ground. And I remember That went on for like a year. I was so overwhelmed and I was praying that God would shrink it. I like, have people break off, like start their own group, whatever. But I remember a girl met with me a couple months later after people had dwindled out and we were down to about like five or six, like a reasonable amount. And she's like, you know, a lot of the girls just didn't feel seen by you. And I was like, here's the thing, though. People would walk in, and each person that walked in, I would sit and talk with them for as long as I could until the next person walked in. Yeah. Because there were also always new people coming up. And if something was going on in your life, best belief I was gonna sit with you and talk with you longer. But it was so hard to balance as a leader of a group that large, talking and facilitating and make helping people make connections and checking with this girl who's going through something, but checking with this girl who's also going through something. Meanwhile I'm also going through something. And it's just yeah, when you're in leadership and I was like the fact that so many people left because they didn't feel seen and that I It broke my heart because I hated that someone didn't feel seen. Yeah. But at the same time I did my physical best to see everyone. Speaker 2: Wanting a personal relationship from a single person like you're just one on one when you're in a group is a very unrealistic and it does make it hard 'cause you'll end up back around them and you can feel their irritation towards you and you're like This might be a you problem. Yeah. To be honest. and I've I've dealt with it too. I've been in that position, but I also grew out of that position and I hope that happens with other people. But I don't think a lot of people they're not in leadership, so they don't understand that at all. And it it does make it difficult because you want to. You want to show up for them. But sometimes some people need more attention your attention, more of your attention than others, and I can really make it hard. that's what I was gonna say is in those situations I Wish a little bit more that people would realize that God put the other people in front of you for a reason. Yes, you want the attention of that leader, but maybe these other people are talking to you because those other people are meant to be in your life to either be an impact or you an impact or something else is going on there and instead you are coveting somebody else's time that it that obviously is not just for you at that moment. Speaker 1: Well, Ben Store at Passion City D C he said something. I was listening to a sermon, this was like two years ago, I think. It was good timing though. He was like making a comment to his church 'cause it's a very big church. He was like, If I could sit down and have coffee with every single person in this church, I would. And but I'm going to fail y'all because I am a pastor. I'm a father. I am meeting with people. I have leadership roles. I'm talk those I can talk with. But if you have this expectation of me, I'm going to fail you. Yeah. And just be prepared to be failed. And that gave me so much peace of mind because as a leader of a group that was at large, all I could think is like, I'm going to let these people down and I heard him say that and I was like, But that's okay. Because I am one single human being. That's it. It's just me. Yeah. You're just you. Yeah. And we sometimes there's things going on. Speaker 2: We are only being able to be present right here, right now. You know who can be there for you all the time? Jesus. Jesus. He is everywhere with everybody all the time. So turn to your left, turn to your right, he's there. Speaker 1: Yeah. So And speaking of Jesus and loving people well, there's this time That I was going through a breakup and I was leaving the mill. It was my favorite coffee shop. and I had to go to church, and I did not want to go to church, but I had like a leadership thing I needed to show up to. And I was telling God, I was like, I just need to feel held by you. Like, I need a sign that you're you see me in this very moment. Like I need something. And literally, the sky was blue, not a cloud in the sky, a rainbow came out of nowhere. And I really just felt like I heard him. Say like I see you. And I was like, that's when like those little moments were like, okay, he loves me, he knows me, he sees me. And so it's like you said, like look to your left, to your look to your right. Jesus is there. He is there. So Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: if you feel like you're not being loved well by people, go to the word. Yeah. But also, how can you be loving people well? Speaker 2: You know, a lot of times when I feel like something like that, I'm like, This is okay, this is gonna pass. Like it's going to pass it's just it's gonna pass. It there I feel like almost no matter your walk, maybe this will change. There's always those moments where you're like Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: Where are where are you? Because he's always present. Whether you feel like he's close, he may feel far, but he's he's never far. But it it can definitely feel like that. Speaker 1: one hundred percent. Speaker 2: And then I think about people who are in way worse positions than me, hearing me say that and that I always wonder what goes through their head, like, What do you mean? You don't know what it feels like to be going through all this. I'm like, You're right. But he's still there. Speaker 1: There. And he's still there. And we've everybody goes through different things. Yeah. My mom says life is not fair and some people have it harder than others, which is true. But here's the thing, some people's plates are bigger than others. I Speaker 2: feel like I carry a very large plate. yeah. And there's a lot always on it. Yeah, but I know people who carry very small plates, but all if all that's on it is heavy for them. It's a lot for them because their plate is smaller. Yeah. And that's just how life is. Some of us have really big plates and we carry a lot. more but you that's why you can't compare it because if you're played as fool you're played as fool. Speaker 1: True. A hundred percent. Speaker 2: Yeah. But you also have to choose how you again your energy and attitudes of choice. Are you gonna go into serving someone well with a positive I'm here for them, a humble attitude, or are you going in like, ugh here I'm showing up again? Speaker 1: yeah, I think your your intention also matters. I mean, how many times do we see people show up to Jesus with different intentions? He can call that right. Speaker 2: One rich guy who was like, I want to be a disciple, and Jesus said, Sell everything you got, and he was like, I'll be back. Yeah. Speaker 1: There it's just like we but we can't always tell that. So it definitely is a little harder for us than Jesus 'cause he knows their hearts as well. But you can see patterns. Speaker 2: Yeah. In that case though, are you loving people well with expectation of something in return? Speaker 1: yeah, that's that's a huge thing, yeah. Speaker 2: I have to choose if I'm loving someone well. I don't expect anything in return. I don't ever expect for them to show up for me the way that I'm showing up for them. Speaker 1: I agree. I I really don't like the I think what I said may have been misunderstood, but that's okay. The I don't like the saying equal energy. yeah. If you're not gonna give me the same energy or if they're they're coming up to me disrespectfully, I'm gonna do it too. I think Speaker 2: No. Speaker 1: that's absolutely terrible. No wonder you're gonna tell me that this world's a terrible place. Which it can be, but like if you're gonna constantly show up with that same energy, you're not any better. You're you're never gonna be any better. But for me it's like I know I can bring more energy, I know I can bring more love, and I'm not gonna bring that down just because somebody else doesn't want to give that. Yeah. Speaker 2: Absolutely. Have you had like a moment where you like had your aha or you're like, this is what it looks like to love well, or you like were able to get out of your own headspace and show up in that way for somebody else? Like did you have an overcomer's moment in that way? Speaker 1: I've had an aha moment where I was like, I'm choosing to be upset in this moment and not love a time with this person or love what this person loves because they did something that I didn't like. Mm-hmm. I've had an aha moment like that. I don't know about an aha moment about like a like in a moment be like, I don't I would say probably. But Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. Speaker 1: I can't name it right now, have you? Speaker 2: No. I would say that because of the way that I grew up, I never really got a chance to not get not love people well or not before it's like when I d when those all those boys lived with us, trust me, I wanted my own space. Yeah. I wanted to be away from all of them. Also they all always had something dramatic going on and I was just a teenage girl trying to live her life and when you didn't even get to have your own mom's attention half the time 'cause all these boys had something horrific going on. Yeah. Your only choice was to be like, you know what, their life is so much harder than mine. I'm gonna love them well through this. Now when one of them was quitting cigarettes and I was quitting gluten at the same time and both of us were going through withdrawal, I did not love him well and I made him cry. Speaker 1: Well. Speaker 2: Yeah, he called my mom cry. So that was mean. But I was fourteen. Okay. And he was like seventeen. And maybe he was older than that. But you know what? Sometimes you make him sometimes you make a grown man cry when they're quitting cigarettes. It happens. Yeah. But yeah, I didn't love him well in that moment. But we were both going through it. So but I would say I haven't had like an aha moment just because or like an overcomer like 'cause there's so many times as a child. I did not want to. Yeah. But they were there and we had to Speaker 1: too. I've definitely learned over time how to love more, like in more ways than how I just want to be loved, I think. But I would agree though, in childhood, I think we both were raised in that way. Cause I remember Ophelia used to say, and I think I told you this, is that they would come over and I was probably ten, maybe when I met them maybe a little older. I don't know. I was young though. And they had several kids and they would come over and they'd be like, I love this and we'd be like, you can have it. Yeah. And then they they they caught on to the fact that if they said that they liked anything, that they could have it. Yeah. And so they would start taking advantage of that. But they thought it they said it was just so sweet and everything. But if we wanted something you had, all we had to do is ask. Yeah. And Not that like giving something is love, but at that time like we didn't have we didn't have a lot, but like but we also just wanted other people, yeah, to be loved. And even as a kid, that's just how we were. So I'd say as you gr as I grew up, there are more things I learned, but maybe an aha moment of showing up loving Speaker 2: Mm. Speaker 1: people well. Which is kinda like Speaker 2: Do you think loving people well means you show up a hundred percent for them all the time? Or do you think that you can still love someone well but only show up a small percentage? Speaker 1: I think you can love someone well and show up a small percentage, though I don't think that's how you should do it. I feel like when I when I show up and I'm half heartedly doing it and I get the compliment, I feel bad because I know I show up Speaker 2: Halfheartedly, I guess what I mean is like say there's a lot going on in your life and someone wants to spend the whole day with you and you're like, I really need alone time. Do you think showing up and getting coffee with them and spending a whole hour of like very intentionally being present with them is equal to having spent the whole day with them? Speaker 1: I think it just depends. or they wanna spend the whole I i I think it depends on the situation, but I think it can. Yes. Yeah. It can be loving them well. Especially when you're telling them straight up, look, I can't be there for you the way that you need me to, but I can give you as much as I can and this is what I can give you. I've had times where people are like, they just wanna come along with me in those moments and I and I'm very clear with what I can give them and I'm I can see on their face that it's even though they knew the expectations, it's still not meeting their expectations when they come. So it can be difficult. But yes, I do believe that they're asking for more and I'm telling them I can give a certain amount that I'm still loving them well because I gave everything that I could in that moment, even though it was only maybe five, ten percent of what Speaker 2: I had. How do you handle it when you know that you've disappointed them? Like how do you handle Speaker 1: I'm a people pleaser. So like that's I'm also someone I know I can overthink, but when I know that I've done everything that I can, I can go through it in my head and be like, I did everything that I can. There's not much more to do here besides maybe have a straight up conversation with them and tell and like talk it out with them and make sure that they understand that I am trying to do my best. I'm loving them as much as I can and maybe trying to set more realistic expectations for them so that they can go home settled. And balanced. Yeah. 'Cause I d I don't want them leaving thinking that I am not I don't love them. Yeah. I do and I'm giving them everything that I can. But sometimes that does need to be verbalized. Speaker 2: Yeah, you're giving them everything you can in a way that doesn't leave you empty. Yeah. 'Cause you if you're empty you've got nothing else to get. Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll still I I I don't mind doing that as long as I can go home and sleep. Yeah. Like giving everything that I can to that point where I'm exhausted like that. Yeah, but sometimes Speaker 2: That's where boundaries come into play. Speaker 1: just like with you and the other night, you gave everything. You came home empty and tired, but you probably allow there to be a lot more filling there that needed to be done. Yeah. So sometimes I think it is necessary to be emptied all the way, but that doesn't mean it needs to be a consistent all the time thing. Yeah. Speaker 2: Yeah. No that's a really good point. I love that. Speaker 1: So yeah, I think it's necessary. It's it's also a really good way to stretch yourself. To like give all you know, all the way. and it's and it's can be unselfish. Speaker 2: Has there been a time that you feel like someone did a really good job of loving you well? Where you like walked away and you're like, that's how I wanna show up for other people? Speaker 1: yeah, I'm sure s dozens of times. I can't think of things at the moment now that I now that you asked me on the spot. But Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: you go first. How about you? I'm sure you have Speaker 2: Yeah. mean I feel like of course I would say the one that has stood out to me the most outside of you and just how your friendship is for me is last year when Evan had his accident and I'd been at like the hospital with my mom and we had been dealing with that, Nikki had texted me 'cause I did call her after I called you. Yeah. And she was like, Have you eaten? I was like, No, I haven't eaten in days. Are kidding me? My brother just died and got brought back to life of not eating. And she's like, You're probably really dehydrated. I said, I have to work tomorrow. I don't have any food But it's okay, like I'll f I'm gonna figure it out. I'll door dash something to the salon. I I haven't eaten but at all, but I'll figure it out. And by the time I got home, which was a two hour drive, there was like this huge like grocery delivery and it was all like just chicken nuggets and Gatorade to get hydrated with and like ma frozen mac and cheese and cupped mac like dried mac and cheese to bring to work and like some fruits and veggies and I remember I like and like crustables. I remember I like stood at my doorway. I just sobbed. I just I literally sobbed because it's not like she went and picked it out herself and brought it. But it's the fact that she even thought like my best friend has just went through one of the worst times of her life. The simplest thing for her was to do that, but it meant that absolute world to me and I felt so seen and loved yeah in that moment. Speaker 1: I definitely had many moments of that. I've had some with Michelle, with you, and but the one that's coming to my mind right now seems so small, but it actually meant a lot to me is Kelsey planning her wedding and I really wanted to go and I tried to figure out how I can make it there. It just it wasn't gonna make sense financially. And I was going through probably one of the hardest financial times of my life, which is weird because I've done really well and then suddenly, you know, and then God's like, Well you're supposed to be going this way. So dealing with that and And I tell her, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I know I said I was gonna be able to come up to Pennsylvania to go to your wedding, and I was really looking forward to it, but I just can't make it happen right now. And she's like, I totally understand. And they're tight for money, and she sends me a hundred bucks to help help me make ends meet. Wow. She doesn't she doesn't know like if it's gonna help or anything like that, but she just like and and I know they could have used it, and she still sent it to me, anyways, to make sure that I could pay my bills. And I was like, just absolutely some. she didn't have to do and it seems like I don't know, it might not seem like anything big, but to me like knowing that you don't have much and you still chose to give that to me, knowing that and I didn't I didn't I wasn't really I don't feel like I was pushing too much like revealing all that but she could tell. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: just like showed up in that way for me. I was like, wow. Yeah. I just told her that I can't make it to one of the happiest days of her life and she's still showing up for me. Yeah. So Speaker 2: Showing up think sometimes if we're gonna speak about Christians like walking into a church, we don't always do a good job of making people feel loved in the building. Mm-hmm. I think that we could be better at that, but when we're talking about people in our lives or coming across people in life, I think that we think loving people well is so much harder than it actually is. Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like it's just ultimately showing up, good attitude, good intentions. Mm-hmm. Speaker 2: Love is patient, love is kind, it's understanding. Yeah. And we could get deeper into like not tonight. But we could go like, what about gay people? What about pronouns? But at like at the end of the day, I'm like, how would Jesus show up? Speaker 1: Yeah, I I really think a lot of times you're just showing up consistently, even with those people, because I don't have the same standard for them. If you're showing up as a Christian and you're actively sinning in a way where where the gospel has said the complete opposite and you're saying that God told you it's okay, then we're gonna have something to talk about. But like if someone's coming up to us in like that in those ways, like I'm not gonna go over to them and be like Speaker 2: You're like Speaker 1: Condemned, condemned, condemned, because they they don't have the same they don't have the same world view or the same all those things. I would love to spread the gospel and I'll use those opportunities that it comes up. Because a lot of times they do want to talk about it. Yeah. You just need the kindness and open up. Speaker 2: But I think loving people is just in like we said, like it's how you're showing up. That's your energy, your attitude. It's not coming out here to condemn. I mean how Speaker 1: How many times did you react well when your dad came at you yelling or was like or or aggressive or people were just telling you how terrible of a person you are. I I rarely find that that works for anybody. Speaker 2: I have never found that that works for anybody. Speaker 1: So it's just think about that when you're showing up even to people that don't live in a lifestyle that you agree with or that the Bible agrees with, is that gonna help the situation? I don't even see Jesus do that. He's just like, Yeah. You shouldn't yeah, you shouldn't be doing that. But is it you are you the one that's supposed to be casting that stone? Yeah. saw this TikTok the other day and I just see it in my head is like someone says, put a put a gif in the or gif, whatever, in the comments. If you were there, it's like it's the scene when when someone asks if they should stone the lady and someone is has the gif at the bottom and says with a big stone here go Jesus. Speaker 2: my gosh, that's like a That's so bad. Speaker 1: My gosh, that's terrible. So yeah. Speaker 2: But I think I have seen that actually now that you say it and I went through the con I went through some of the con Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, so I think one of the good ways to wrap up maybe is if you had to choose three words to represent loving somebody well, what would those be? Or at least one. Speaker 2: I really feel like it's just that verse. It really is. Yeah, it's like First Corinthians thirteen. I'm gonna say it's like thirty-four through thirty-seven, but like the whole of it is like love is patient, love is kind, love is understanding. I remember I did a Bible study once where someone was like, put your name, so it was like Hannah Liz is kind, Hannah Liz is patient, Hannah Liz is understanding. And that has been helpful for me. because that word love there is agape, which is as we both know. Yeah. You know, the the love that God has for us because there's so many different words for love in Greek. So many. And Speaker 1: Peace. Speaker 2: this one is like the ultimate all power. Like it's the same love that's used when Jesus dies on the cross for us. Like that's the equivalent that it is. And I think that for me that's how I try to shout, not die on the cross, but like the patience, the kindness, the understanding. Even my clients will say, like, I don't talk to a lot of people who are patient or want to understand or like usually I think a lot of us it feels like the world is against us. people listen to respond. They don't listen to hear. People don't slow down to make conversations, people aren't present. And I think presentness comes with patience, especially in our culture right now. So when I think of the word love in a biblical term of how I'm gonna love people well, that's what I think about because I think honestly at the end of the day when I meet my maker, I know people are like, I want him to say like well done, good and faithful servant. Yes, would love that, but I also want him to look at me and the eyes and be like, You loved people well Speaker 1: I I've been thinking about it recently. I've been thinking like how the Holy Spirit is in us and he gives us the authority and how when people were trying to take out demons he's like, I don't know you, I know them. Like, look I want to be like it's such an example that it's like I know you to the point where even even the enemy is like, I know his soldier, Serena, I know his soldier Speaker 2: I have that literary written next to that story. It goes, it literally says, Demons should know your name. Yeah. That's what I have written. Speaker 1: I went to a point there where I'm like going home and he's like, Great battle. Yes. I'm looking for you like I've been looking forward to like spending time w more time with you. Yeah. Speaker 2: Well done. Speaker 1: But I think two of the words that I would add to that, because I think that you did it really well, though, was over three words. That's just funny. I would say willingness and consistency would be two other ones I'd add to it. because obviously that verse is so perfect. you have the fruit of the spirit and all those things that can help embody, but being consistent even when you don't wanna be, being willing to be to loving people that you don't feel like you should have to love or that you don't agree with. Like, but that Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: also takes understanding, kindness, and all of those things. Speaker 2: Yeah, take pride out of the fight. You know. Speaker 1: One of the seven deadly sins named first. It is it is a big downfall. Speaker 2: Take your pride out of fight, take your expectations of others out because people are gonna fail you, whether you're the one hoping to be loved or you're the one loving others. Also Speaker 1: Also, if you're also expecting other people to love you better, I want you to think about maybe your relationship with God needs to be tighter. Yeah. I think that when I was craving other people to love me more, it's because I did not have a close enough relationship with Jesus, I was feeling lonely. Yeah. Speaker 2: Well, loveliness is a lack of knowing oneself. So you should get to know yourself too. Speaker 1: While you're at it. I think also getting to know yourself is knowing I I know myself better 'cause my identity is I know where my identity lies. Yeah, for sure. So yeah, there's that. I got I'm I'm pretty clear right now. I have Speaker 2: There's that. Well, I have nothing else. Feel like we've talked all we can talk. Well, Speaker 1: Well Speaker 2: thank you for hanging out with us, y'all. That's all I have to say. You can Happy Thursday. Speaker 1: Happy Thursday. Great rest of the week. Speaker 2: I hope you feel encouraged. and as always, you can follow us on Instagram at LovingFreedPod. You can email us at l lovingfreedpod at gmail dot com. We have Speaker 1: TikTok, YouTube, the streaming services. Speaker 2: Like and subscribe, email you it's endless the opportunities to hang out with just us. Speaker 1: And it share your thoughts. We want to know what you have to say about loving others well, how you show up for others, and how you feel like a lot of times that's missed. Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly I would love like DMs of people either saying how someone has showed up for them or how they feel like they showed up for somebody else. Yeah. I just love stories like that, so I would love to know. Yeah. That's it. Alright, love y'all. Speaker 1: Please. Yeah. Speaker 2: Bye.