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Inside A Narcissist's Mind When You're Getting To Know Them · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Is going on beautiful people today we're talking about what
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  goes on in the mind of a narcissist.
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  What a narcissist thinking when they're getting to know you If
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  you're new here my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to season 2 of the
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  Narcissist Cult. Let's get it.
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  Boom, welcome back folks. As you can see, I'm hype.
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  I told you I was redoing my old videos and this is going to be
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  season 2. We'd had 13184 episodes of the
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  narcissist code for season 1. I didn't know when it ended.
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  Season 2 we're redoing the old videos.
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  New perspective, new everything. So the mind of a narcissist when
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  they're getting to know you. New season, new likes, new
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  comments. I need y'all.
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  I need y'all joining channel memberships and all the other
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  good stuff. Y'all check out my kids book
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  myself, myself, love journal, all love it.
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  But yeah, y'all, oh hype, y'all. If y'all can't feel my energy
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  right now, I don't know what to tell you.
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  I'm excited for season 2. I'm excited to bring you out a
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  new heat in my new perspective because the mind of a narcissist
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  right when they're getting to know you is very, very
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  different. It's very unique, right?
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  I think a narcissist favorite thing when they're getting to
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  know who you are, when they're getting to know more about you,
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  is literally studying you. I think a lot of narcissists
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  absolutely get a high from studying you.
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  They get a high from doing all this other stuff and whatnot.
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  They get, they get into their minds that they want to know
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  every single thing about you. I do believe that most
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  narcissists tend to be logical, analytical people, right?
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  And the more analytical we are, the more that we study, the more
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  logical that we are is like the more we want to know about you.
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  We want to know what makes you tick.
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  We want to make we know what goes on inside of your head.
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  We want to know how things get moving.
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  What how you know how to make you laugh, how to make you cry,
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  how to make you happy. Now the how to make you cry
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  stuff, I'll admit, does not come till later.
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  Well, later. I don't know.
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  I'm not sure, right, It's kind of hit or miss in these
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  situations right here with the not hit or miss.
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  It's just kind of a learning dynamic when you're trying to
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  decide things like this, right? Because narcissist where they're
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  getting to know you, they want to know everything about you
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  just in case they need to hurt you as well.
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  So this is not just for intimate relationships, y'all.
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  This could be for your parent, your friend, whoever it is,
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  right? They could be, you know, this
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  could be whoever is in your life, they're trying to get to
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  know you just in case you try to hurt them, just in case you try
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  to flip the script on them, just in case you try to do something
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  to them, right? Just in case you try to get back
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  at them, just in case you try to launch a smear campaign or an
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  attack on them, on us. We need to know everything about
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  you. We need to know your strengths
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  in order to make you happy, in order to just, you know, vibe
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  off of you right now, right? Right.
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  See what we can get from you. But we also need to know your
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  weaknesses just in case you try to, just in case you try to get
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  uppity on us, right? Just in case you try to come at
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  us. So when a narcissist is getting
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  to know you, it's like the, the wheels, the, the wheels are
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  turning, y'all. And it really depends on the
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  relationship dynamic, what their goal is, right?
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  It really depends on their actual goals.
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  So a lot of narcissists have the goal to be with you.
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  Y'all If it if it's an intimate relationship, a lot of
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  narcissists do have the original goal to be with you, to be in a
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  relationship with you, to be around you, to get to know you
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  because they like you, right? They might be obsessed with you,
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  they might be infatuated with you, but they do have the goal
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  to be around you and to get to know you for to get what they
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  can from you, right? I don't always think it's coming
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  from a place of manipulation when a narcissist is getting to
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  know you, right? And I think a lot of people,
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  that's tough for a lot of people to realize is that so many
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  people, there's so many videos out there, and I'll probably
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  share some videos In season 1, season 1, they made it seem like
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  narcissists were always out to get you.
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  But that's why I'm offering a new perspective right now is
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  because I don't think every single narcissist is out to get
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  you. I think from the core of most
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  narcissists is that we want to be loved, right?
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  We want to be loved. We want to be cared for.
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  We want to be taken care of. We want to be, we want to feel
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  validated and worthy. We want to know that we matter
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  just like you, right? But what ends up happening with
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  a lot of narcissists is that we lose sight of it every.
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  We lose sight of everything. We get bored and we decide to
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  blow shit up. We decide.
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  We decide to blow it up where we everything could be.
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  Yeah, everything could be going fine and dandy.
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  Everything could be amazing, everything could just be going
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  on and just having the time of our lives.
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  But then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, boom, we decide to we
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  decide to detonate and blow the entire relationship to hell, to
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  smither y'all to smithereens. We decide to blow the entire
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  relationship to smithering. We we detonate it and we destroy
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  it. And that's what ends up
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  happening. Like we want to keep it
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  together, but we can't. We yeah, we are emotionally
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  dysregulated. We can't keep it together.
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  We're losing it. We cannot keep it together up
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  here. We are a super extremely
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  emotionally dysregulated and because we're so emotionally
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  dysregulated, it's tough as hell for us to just settle down and
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  just make sense of everything, y'all?
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  It really is. It's extremely tough for us to
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  make sense of things, to settle down and also to take
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  accountability. Accountability.
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  What's that? Yes.
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  What's that? What is this accountability that
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  you speak of? What is this y'all?
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  I'm just setting my my setup is going on to you.
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  I was just moving things around too.
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  What is this accountability that you speak of, Lee?
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  What is this? Remember, it's not your fault.
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  It's my kids book. What is this?
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  Tell us what it is Lee. You need to tell us.
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  But that's the that's how it goes, y'all.
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  The mind of a narcissist, when they're getting to know you is
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  in observer mode. We're taking action.
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  Of course we love like, yeah. How do we love bomb you?
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  Like, in order to love bomb you, we have to know what you like.
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  Like, if you don't like trips, if you are a homebody, you're
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  not going to be love bombed with trips and vacations that don't
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  turn, that they don't make you. They don't make you tick.
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  Right now we love bomb you with a a nice cozy ass blanket or a
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  PlayStation or something like that got you because you like to
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  be at home. You're an introvert, you don't
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  like to do all this extroverted stuff.
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  We have to get to know you in order to love bomb you or, or we
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  learn from our previous relationships and we test the
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  stuff that worked on them, the stuff that they were begging
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  for, the stuff that they were begging and pleading and asking
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  for and just please, can we make it work?
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  Please this please that the stuff that they were asking for,
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  we don't give to them anymore. That we give it to you because
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  you because we think it works. We can use the stuff that we
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  never gave our exes, the old supply to make the new supply
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  happy, to get the new supply obsessed with us, to get the new
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  supply enamored with us as we decide to move forward.
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  And whatever decision, whatever comes next, right, this is what
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  happens. So as they're getting to know
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  you, as we are getting to know you, this is kind of part of the
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  crux. You got to understand that we
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  are in it for us. Like, yes, they're trying to
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  make you happy seemingly, but we are in it for us.
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  We are in, we are in this relationship for us to make
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  ourselves too happy to generate likes for us to generate, you
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  know, supply for us to get this validation for us.
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  Like FUBU for us, by us. I remember FUBU back in the day.
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  I'm a agent myself. FUBU still around.
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  Ain't ain't FUBU still around? Yeah, probably.
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  I think he's still around, but this is how it goes, y'all.
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  This is it. Like in the mind of a
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  narcissist, when we're getting to know you, it's an excitingly
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  scary ass time because we don't want to mess up, especially if
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  we think you're perfect. If we think you are the perfect
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  grade A supply, whatever terminology you want to use.
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  If we think that you're perfect for us supply wise, we don't
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  want to mess it up. So we try as hard as we possibly
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  can to keep you here. We try as hard we are, we work
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  hard as hell to try to keep you with us, to try to keep you
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  around, to try to just vibe with us and whatnot.
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  This is what we do. This is the mindset of
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  manipulators. This is the mindset of
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  narcissistic people. This is how we operate from a
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  different space. This is how we keep getting
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  supply. This is how we keep moving
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  forward. This is how we This is why it
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  always seems like people like us.
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  We're studying everybody. It's not just you.
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  Everybody gets studied. Everybody from the very
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  beginning of the relationship with a narcissist gets studied.
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  No one is exempt. Especially, well, I ain't gonna
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  say no one is exempt. It the proximity does matter,
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  right? Your proximity to the
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  narcissistic person absolutely matters because the closer you
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  are to them, the more effect that you're going to have on
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  them. The more effect that you're
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  going to you, you, you can affect them in different ways.
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  So proximity absolutely matters when it comes to dealing with an
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  abusive, manipulative narcissist.
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  So this is the type of stuff that you have to understand and
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  how it goes as you're dealing with the manipulative people.
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  Understand that the narcissist, toxic person, whatever whoever
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  is not in it for you, they're in it to get to know.
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  They in it for the supply. Yes, they might like you and
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  care about you, but you like, yeah.
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  And I'm not saying it's to hurt your feelings and make you feel
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  bad. Narcissists are going to
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  prioritize themselves above all. Me first.
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  It's the me first attitude, right?
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  Me first. Y'all hear the the me too
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  movement? This is the me first movement.
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  I want my needs met first. Above all.
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  I need my own needs to come first.
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  I need my own need my own mindset.
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  I need things. I need all of this first, right?
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  I need this, I need you to understand this, I need you to
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  get this. I need people to just easy.
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  The mind of a manipulator, the mind of a narcissist.
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  Is this pretty much how it goes? Like I'm in it for me.
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  Yes, you might get love bombed, but I'm love bombing you because
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  at the end of the day, it makes me feel better.
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  It validates me. It makes me feel better about
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  the situation when I'm when I get a chance to love bomb you
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  because I get supply from that. The better you feel the more
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  validated that I feel. The more of your friends like me
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  because you told them what I'm doing for you.
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  The better I feel the the better my reputation is as well and the
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  more that the more jealous I can possibly make my ex the old
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  supply who I'm still probably still in contact with or
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  probably trying to act use you to make them jealous of.
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  So this is what I'm just telling y'all, as a narcissist is
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  getting to know you, they're going to, they're going to test
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  things. They're going to test what works
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  and what doesn't work. But I will tell you the mind of
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  a narcissist, if they're trying to avoid no, they're absolutely
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  at the beginning trying to avoid the word no.
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  So if you can avoid that, like say if you can use the word no,
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  you know, when needed, when necessary, typically you can
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  avoid manipulative, abusive narcissist.
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  Y'all, let's keep it hot and ready like a Little Caesar's
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  pizza. Typically when you are using the
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  word no, you're going to avoid people like myself.
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  You just are. It's just like it comes with the
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  territory. You're going to avoid me if
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  you're using then if you if you're protecting yourself at
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  all costs, you want to avoid narcissistic toxic people.
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  You know it just are. So the when how narcissists feel
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  when they get to know you, they are a sometimes they're a never
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  with you. They're obsessed with you.
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  They only want you. They want what they can get from
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  you. So as you're moving forward, if
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  you just came out of a toxic relationship where you have
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  those questions and whatnot, y'all, this is the place for
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  you. I'm Lee Hammock, the diagnosed
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  narcissist known as mental illness, the self aware
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  narcissist, one of the original, one of the O GS.
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  Y'all can call me. Look, I'm the unk of self aware
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  narcissist right now. Like I've been around so long
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  doing this deal with this for five years.
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  So if you new here make you hit the subscribe button, check out
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  my kids book, check out myself love journal right there as
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  well. All of this is on my website,
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  mentalillness.net. Y'all welcome to season 2.
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  Hit the subscribe button. Let me know what you think and
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  I'm out. Peace.
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  What's going on? Beautiful folks.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I truly appreciate it. You have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, hit that subscribe button.
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  You made it this far, you might as well subscribe.
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  It really does help the channel y'all y'all?
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  It helps me reach more people as well.
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  Also, I have coaching my courses and my support group available
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  at www.mentalillness.net. Thank you so much.
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  Make sure you stick around, watch another video or two.
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  I appreciate it. I'm out.