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How Do Narcissists Get You To Fall In Love With Them So Fast? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're talking about the love bombing tactics of
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  narcissistic people. Different tactics that they will
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  use and can use to get you to fall in love with them very,
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  very quickly, to get you to just entrust yourself and it just
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  throw yourself into this relationship.
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  Use them there. Just just quick as hell use what
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  I'm saying. This is the tactics.
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  Some of some of them might work, some of them might not work.
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  Some of them might sound familiar.
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  Some of them might not sound familiar, right 'cause love
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  bombing is going to be different for everybody.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I may diagnose narcissists. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back folks, welcome back.
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  Yes, love bombing tactics for manipulative narcissistic
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  people. Love bombing.
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  Yeah, I know a lot of people ask me like, I'm going to get this
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  out of the way first. Was the love real doing the love
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  bombing face? And I typically answer this
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  question in a couple different ways.
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  But the most common answer I give is a lot of times it is
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  like they think that the narcissistic person does think
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  that they love you at the beginning of the relationship,
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  right? They think that y'all they think
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  you're the one. They think you are it.
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  Now, sometimes it's a manipulation from the beginning.
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  Yeah, sometimes toxic narcissistic people are out to
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  manipulate you from the beginning.
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  Yes, that happens sometimes. They are literally out to
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  manipulate you from the very beginning of the relationship.
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  They don't want to see you happy.
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  They don't want to see you thriving.
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  They don't they don't want to see you surviving.
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  They don't want none of that right?
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  They just want you in any way, shape or form that they can get
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  you and they will lie they asses off in order to get you.
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  That's happens. So prep for that as well, right?
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  But I will say that to say this right here, y'all sometimes it's
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  real. But like Lee, how did he get us
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  to fall for it? Yeah, let's be realistic.
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  Some of y'all like not every single person that a narcissist
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  is attracted to or narcissist ends up with is this vulnerable,
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  low self esteem impact, right? I know somebody's like they they
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  must be weak. I mean, no, no, some of y'all
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  have high self esteem. Some of y'all have high self
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  worth. Like to y'all, some of y'all
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  love Bobby. Makes sense.
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  It makes sense to you that somebody would fall in love with
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  you very quickly. You're a good person.
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  You bad. You're a baddie.
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  You got money. You've been working out.
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  You you got the muscles. You, you funny, you know, you
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  got dressed. You wear 2 necklaces.
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  You got a oil shirt. I was just joking.
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  Yeah, but this is what happens. It makes sense to fall for love.
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  Money. It makes sense to some people.
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  Just like I think I'm deserving. I think I'm deserving of love.
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  I this is what I'm looking for. I'm.
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  I'm expecting it. So it makes sense to fall for
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  it. So don't always feel bad about
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  falling for getting manipulated by nurses and falling for love
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  by me, right? Because it does make sense
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  because some, a lot of y'all are worthy of love.
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  Some of y'all got some, some darkness in your heart, right?
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  You know, but most people are worthy of love.
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  Like let's say it right there. Some people, I struggle to say
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  that out loud, right? But some people are just in a
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  vulnerable state. You won't love and love by me
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  just makes you feel it just takes you out of this vulnerable
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  state, takes you out of grief and whatnot.
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  So it makes sense as well. But let's talk about the
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  tactics. I know that was the introduction
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  right there that you've rambled for three minutes.
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  I hate you. No, that was that was the
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  tactics right there. Right.
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  So what happens in these situations?
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  Is that narcissistic? This is the tactic right here.
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  Y'all Sometimes, yes. Can they use money?
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  Yeah. A lot of times it's over the top
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  grandiose things. A lot of narcissists can love
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  bomb you with money, right? They can't love by you with
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  money, trips, things like that. Just finances, promises of
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  taking care of you, whatever the situation may be, promises of
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  not necessarily taking care of you, but bringing an equal
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  amount of money or finances or financial security to the table.
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  Like I'm smart, you're smart, we both make money.
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  Let's do it. Let's do this.
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  You know, it makes sense. That's the tactic is to just
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  literally just bombard you with money and gifts and things like
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  that. That's a tactic, you know, is
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  love bombing always manipulation?
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  Do do not do only narcissists love bomb?
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  Not really, right? Some people who are
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  neurotypical, who don't have narcissistic personality
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  disorder, who don't have hide and toxic traits, love bomb as
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  well, right? But love bombing from
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  narcissists is the intent to get you into kind of yeah, it can go
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  into detail, but they can bombard you with money,
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  finances, things like that. That's a tactic.
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  Another thing that they would do y'all is future fake the hell
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  out of you. I was going to say future fake
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  the F out of you. I will get you out of the triple
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  FI like that's too. That's just too brash for no
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  reason. I don't I don't like the cuss
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  for no reason. When I'll be cussing out here,
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  it'd be I'll be cussing to try to bring some heat and try to
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  try to wake you up. They wouldn't they wouldn't heat
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  right. I was like future faking.
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  I was like future fake the out of you, right, But this not
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  happens right there, right. They will promise you these
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  grandiose dreams of the future, right?
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  Yeah, and like I said, not even grandiose dreams, they tell you
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  what you want to hear. They future affect you with what
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  you want to hear. And a lot of times they they are
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  studying you to even learn what you are after they study you to
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  learn what you are looking for. They ask you what are you
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  looking for? The significant other, what are
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  you looking for? The man, what are you looking
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  for? The woman, what are you looking
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  for? And you will tell them because
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  you like hey, I'm actually looking for, looking for this,
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  look for that. And now all of a sudden, guess
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  what y'all, I'm looking for the same thing got you, right?
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  Because if you, if they tell you that they're looking for the
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  same thing, of course it makes sense to you, right?
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  You know, in these situation, in these sense of the sense of
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  urgency and what not, it makes sense, doesn't it?
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  So it's just like you don't have to hammer away at yourself in
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  these situations in this landscape or what not right, in
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  order to just make sense of everything.
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  Like they can just tell you what you want to hear about the
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  future. Hey, this is going on right now.
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  Like I see a future with you. You know, I'm looking to my
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  crystal ball and I see one thing.
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  I see my crystal. My little narcissistic crystal
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  ball gets the crystal ball right here.
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  Yeah, I know it's BBQ sauce, but it's it's crystal BBQ sauce.
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  Like I see sweet baby rays. Your future now there was just
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  like I see a white picket fence. I see two kids, 33 kids.
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  I see three kids. Wow.
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  Oh, you don't like picket fence? You don't like the wood?
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  OK, no wood. Metal.
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  I see a white. I see a metal fence.
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  We painted it white. I see it.
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  Your future is bright with me. They'll tell you what you want
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  to hear. They'll telling you because you.
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  They'll telling you what you want to hear.
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  They'll future fake the hell out of you, right?
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  In order to get to love bombing love bomb.
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  Future faking can be a big part of love bombing, right?
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  Future faking can absolutely be a huge part of being love bombed
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  and manipulated because they just sell you this dream.
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  They're selling you a dream and it.
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  Yeah. And they, and sometimes they'll
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  actually be taking the steps towards those dreams because
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  let's be I'm going to be real with you.
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  Sometimes they actually want those dreams to come true,
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  right. In the beginning, they might
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  actually want those dreams to come true.
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  It's like I notice it ends up looking like future faking.
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  But sometimes they're not actually faking the funk.
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  They actually might want those things, right?
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  They just don't ever end up following through completely
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  with it. Like, I want to be married and
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  have kids and they'll have the kids, you know?
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  They'll get married, yeah, but everything else goes to hell,
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  you know what I mean? So sometimes they'll just future
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  fake the hell out of you. Another tactic that highly
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  manipulative, narcissistic people could use.
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  Y'all. It's just they are there for
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  you. It's like they rescue you when
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  you're vulnerable, right? Like I was saying earlier, a lot
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  of times they give you, it seems like what it looks like, what it
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  feels like is empathy. They give you compassion.
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  But I feel like in this situation right now, I know the
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  people go like, well, Lee, I thought narcissists lack
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  empathy. Lack in none are two totally
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  different things, right? Like you can lack, I can have a
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  lack of money and I still got about $10 on me, right?
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  But if I have no money, if I, I got no money, I'm just like, I
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  got 0, you know, know, and lack are two totally different
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  things, right? So you can lack oxygen, you
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  know, there's a lack of oxygen, but I can still breathe a little
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  bit, right? It's a lack of muscle.
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  I, I, I'm, I got to work out more.
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  But like 0 is different than lack.
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  So narcissists, most narcissists, I think a lot of
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  narcissists lack empathy. They still have it so they can
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  lend you a helping hand. But I've also feel like this is
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  a term I'm just messing with right now.
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  I'm dabbling with it's conditional empathy is
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  necessary. Empathy is cognitive empathy.
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  Like they are there for you because they know that they
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  should be there for you and they'll get they'll get bonus
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  points later on for being there for you right now.
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  You know what I mean? Like they can actually catch you
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  in a vulnerable state and they can just lend you a, a shoulder
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  to cry on, lend you a, a listening ear, lend you some
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  cheeks to clap or whatever the situation may be, right?
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  They'll lend you what you need in these circumstances in order
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  to get you right where they want you 'cause later on they could
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  just say something like they can say like, well, you can't.
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  You can never say I've never been there for you.
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  You can never say I've never done anything for you.
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  Like what that like you mean you done something for me.
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  But like that, you know, you, I know you done something for me.
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  Like, like you, not me, like you bragging on it, like you got to
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  brag about it, all of it. Damn, you know, and you'll be
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  saying this type of stuff like they were like, remember I was
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  there for you. They'll never forget being there
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  for you. They they won't let you forget
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  that they were there for you either, right?
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  You know, this is the space that so many people fall into.
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  They won't let you forget that they were there for you either.
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  Now they'll be there for you, but they won't let you forget
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  it. So it's like it's conditional.
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  It comes with strings attached, right?
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  It absolutely comes with strings attached.
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  So it's love bombing in a different way.
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  This is a tactic right here, y'all.
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  They'll get you when you're vulnerable and they'll be there
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  for you. And sometimes when I talk to so
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  many people, do my one on ones at mentalillness.net, you can
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  find my coaching, my courses, everything at mentalillness.net,
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  right? It's just like when I'm doing
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  all of this stuff, I'm talking to people, I'm telling them
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  this, right? They get into their heads.
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  This is like it's a tactic, like it really is a tactic to get you
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  to get you to do what they want you to do.
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  Like, and you feel like you owe them.
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  You end up feeling like you owe them something like I like, I
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  like, why can't you leave? What if you had to put it into
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  words? Why can't you leave?
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  Why don't you want to? Why?
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  Why can't you leave them alone? I don't know you do you do know?
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  Tell me, tell me, tell me I'll be screaming on my one-on-one
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  job. Not I'm just joking.
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  I tell them, tell me and they'll just like I think I owe them
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  something. Oh, there it is.
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  What if I told you you don't owe them anything, right.
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  You know, it takes a while for the breakdown, that barrier of
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  getting them to understand that you don't owe them anything for
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  being there for you like they were.
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  They offered you compassion. You gave them your heart.
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  What else do they want from you? You know what I mean?
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  You gave them love. You gave them your heart.
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  What else do the hell do they want from you in this situation?
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  What else can you give them that you haven't given them already?
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  You know what I mean? So that's something you have to
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  ask yourself as well. Like what's the point?
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  What what else can what else do you want from me?
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  What else can you get from me? What else can I give you?
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  You know, so that's another technique right there.
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  Like it just like you don't have I said love bombing is not
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  always over the top, y'all. It could be little stuff like
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  this person. Now it's gonna sound like it's
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  gonna sound crazy. This is another tactic right
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  here. They just listen to you.
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  Imagine love bombing is just listening and you and you tell
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  your friends like I mean my my wife, who she wasn't my wife at
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  the time this when I first met her, she told her friends I just
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  listened to her. She's like I've never had a
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  person listen to me like that. That was love bombing to her.
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  She was ecstatic, she was enthralled with my ability to
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  listen because, but what do narcissists do?
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  We are a lot of narcissists are very analytical people.
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  So we're listening. We're we're information
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  gathering, right? We're studying you.
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  We want to know how to love you later on, right?
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  So like I give you a listening ear, but I had my intent behind
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  it. You know, there was intentions
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  behind me giving you that listening ear and whatnot.
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  So that's what you have to understand as well.
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  This is different pieces. These are different spaces that
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  so many people fall into. So this is what you have to
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  understand too, that manipulators, abusive people are
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  going to do the same things over and over again.
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  They're going to give you a listening ear.
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  They'll just be there for you. They get you in a vulnerable
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  state. You see what I'm saying?
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  Everything that they do has an intent behind it.
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  Of course it has to serve them in some way.
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  That's one thing that you have to understand when you're
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  dealing with a manipulator, it everything that they do has to
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  serve them in some way, shape or form.
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  It really, really does, you know, So I just want to tell
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  people so many times right now as we're moving forward, like
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  love bombing doesn't have to be over the top stuff.
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  It can just be an irritative crime promise something like an
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  ear, an ear, a listening ear, right?
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  And this is this going to sound like this going to make and this
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  is some love bombing that some people are falling for.
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  They're not, not a lot of people, but like this is this is
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  one of the special kind of circumstances love.
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  But they can love bomb you as a friend, right?
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  You know how they just want to be friends at first or you
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  friend zoned them and now your heart is broken.
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  Now they're being there for you. Now they're pretending to be
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  everything that you need them to be.
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  Now they're there for you in this vulnerable, vulnerable
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  moment. You're as a friend.
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  They love bomb you as a friend in order to get you in a
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  relationship or a situation ship in order to get into your
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  bedroom or into your heart or whatever.
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  They are there for you when you get heartbroken, you're a
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  vulnerable state. You're grieving, right?
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  And now you, they look like who you want.
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  You might have only seen them as a friend before, but because
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  you're heartbroken, you got those rose colored glasses on
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  now. Like this is how you get rose
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  colored glasses right here. Like this is literally how
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  you're seeing the world after you're heartbroken and you don't
• 14:05
  take time to heal. This is how you see the world,
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  right? You see the world like this and
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  it's just like it's the your your your eyes are tinted right
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  now and they're there for you. You're like, why didn't I ever
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  give you a chance? This is wow.
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  I see everything I like your everything that I could warn in
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  the significant other like why did I not give?
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  Why did I friend zone you? And later on you find out why
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  your friend zone because they were not your type.
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  You were not interested in them. You might have just been
• 14:35
  vulnerable right now. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's that's how you get the Rose colored glasses.
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  Y'all, you know what I mean it just this is what happens to so
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  many people. So I hope this video brought you
• 14:46
  some clarity. I hope it helped you understand
• 14:48
  that love bombing is not always trips and all this other stuff,
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  because not everybody can afford it right now.
• 14:53
  Everybody's in the the higher tax bracket at 1%.
• 14:57
  You know I mean not everybody's in that bracket.
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  It whose taxes are going down here in a little bit right, or
• 15:01
  whatever the new tax plan goes into effect right.
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  Not everybody is there. So love by me doesn't have to be
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  over the top. It it love by me just has to
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  mean something more to you, right?
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  It just has to shock your system and get you to move.
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  You see what I'm saying Anyway child, I hope this void video
• 15:21
  hope this video watches and clarity hope of butchers and
• 15:23
  peace. Make sure you hit the subscribe
• 15:25
  button. You haven't already Check out my
• 15:26
  website mentalillness.net for more things all things Lee
• 15:29
  hammock. Thank you so much and as always
• 15:31
  y'all as always Mr. This is out. Peace what's going on beautiful
• 15:35
  folks. Thank you so much for making it
• 15:37
  to the end of my video. I truly appreciate it.
• 15:39
  You have no idea if you haven't already hit that subscribe
• 15:42
  button. You made it this far, you might
• 15:44
  as well subscribe. It really does help the channel
• 15:47
  y'all helps me reach more people as well.
• 15:49
  Also I have coaching my courses and my support group available
• 15:53
  at www.mentalillness.net. Thank you so much.
• 15:56
  Make sure you stick around watch another video or two.
• 15:58
  I appreciate it. I'm out.