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637. Why We Burn Out From the Thing We Love Doing · Be It Till You See It

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so easy for us to love what we're doing, but create chronic stress around it, and so then we burn out from the thing we love doing.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear.
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Each week my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
• 0:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
• 0:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Hello, be a babe, how are you?
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my gosh, welcome back to the PTC podcast.
• 0:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, normal we do.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Interviews on Tuesdays and recap on Thursdays and FYF Sun Fridays.
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And everyone's all I just want to do like a topic because we've had some amazing guests on it and I want to revisit that.
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: with you, right?
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it'd be a lot of fun.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, in doing that, I wanted to discuss burnout.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have a self-love series with a habit series and, you know, something that I get a lot from the women that listen to this podcast and we work with is just like the difficulty in preventing burnout.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And also, just like, are they ever not burned out?
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And all that could stuff because,
• 1:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's really easy for y'all to be just overachievers at it and just like go harder than one needs to right and so I want to just give us I want us to be on I want us to have the tools to be a toy see it and that means understanding burnout and have prevented so this episode be what is burnout so we can be really clear about what it is.
• 1:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's important to be able to name something versus like what's depression, what's overwhelm, things like that.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then also the second episode will be on like prevention.
• 2:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Things you can actually do because you guys are action takers and I love that so much.
• 2:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: So what is burnout?
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why do we have burnout?
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: What does it look like?
• 2:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's what this episode is.
• 2:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're like, Leslie, I've got it.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you can wait till Thursday, but just in case, you know, I think it's important to
• 2:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had to go over this end.
• 2:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: I saw this quote, yeah, of those I was preparing for this episode, and it said, it's on the mad hat, and it said, you've lost your muchness.
• 2:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You used to be much, much easier.
• 2:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that like that can be a sign of burnout.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you like lost your muchness, right?
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: But get this the World Health Organization who actually has defined what burnout is.
• 2:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that's great.
• 2:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think like let's go with the science.
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: The burnout is a syndrome tied to unsuccessfully managed workplace stress.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: like obviously it can be personal stuff too.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, but like who is doing this as from this part?
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, it's made up of three parts.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Exhaustion, feeling distant or cynical towards your job and reduced performance at work.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Dr. Ashley, who has been becoming expert on this topic and has a self reclaimed burnout doctor, she said, I think you can get burnout from any chronic stress situation.
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, I think that that
• 3:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: is helpful because like the simpler sentence who was trying to say is any chronic stress situation that can provide burnout and this is interesting you guys because it's so easy for us to love what we're doing but create chronic stress around it and so then we burn out from the thing we love doing.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: and we'll talk about why that happens.
• 3:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, burnout is serious.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: And severe cases, it can cause premature aging of the brain.
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is insanity to me because like, oh my God, we cannot let her age.
• 3:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: Our brain's age sooner than they need to.
• 3:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're under 45, your chance of dying from all causes goes up.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, love that just again.
• 3:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's indicated by a study they did.
• 3:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: A scientific journal, PL-O-S-1, Dr. Ashley estimates it can take
• 3:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, as a kid, I remember like my mom had a job that was really stressful for her and she slept a whole summer.
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I remember my dad having to like leave work on stress leave.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like these, it can take one to three years for a cover and I do believe it did or both of them.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's really, really important that we don't just go, oh, this is the busy season I'm in, you know, and dismiss it.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like we should be stronger and we shouldn't be feeling this way.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Increase caregiver and emotional labor.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: So obviously, this podcast is really designed for women.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have a few good men who listen, thank you so much.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it is, so we mostly will listen or so I'm just going to talk about the women's aspect of burnout.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: So women often carry the mental load for their households and this is so true.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I see it in a lot of my friends, her mom's, you know, like they remember everything.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're coordinating the child care.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're managing family needs an often caring for aging parents.
• 4:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: They also frequently are expected to manage the emotions of those around them at both at work and at home, which is why, like it's possible to have a stressful job, but then if your home life is also demanding of you, then it like you don't have a refuge, right?
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so that can be really, really difficult.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Cultural expectations this out norms, a can pressure women to be nurturers, always available and have to have it all.
• 5:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Pretty unrealistic standards and feelings of inadequacy when these expectations are met.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this is also something that I've seen because to be honest,
• 5:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: have some friends I've like friends and air quotes that I've known from groups that we have been in and I'm watching their posts on Instagram and they're just like so beautiful all the time so put together even though I'm not put together they're so put together like their background is so beautiful their house is so well decorated and they're showing like all I can be this person who like makes sourdough and I also am a bad ass of the workplace that's amazing that's wonderful I hope they're so happy but also like
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: It can set up an expectation that we should all be feeling the same way as them in the same place of our life and like that's just not the case, right?
• 5:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: We don't all have the same 24 hours in a day.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: So the always on culture, a sense of constant responsibility combined with social media pressure to maintain a perfect image, contributes to a feeling of being always on and unable to truly rest.
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is something I have really had to grapple with in the last five years because a lot of the work that I do is on camera.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, and I always just like, oh my god, I may have to like, I have to like get ready to do my makeup.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't even finish it today.
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you're watching Sunday YouTube channel, like I like, I started this recording.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, oh, we have no mascara on.
• 6:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I got really good at going.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know what?
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have to put out this content.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have to do all this stuff for the work that we do.
• 6:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: That I that I that I create it because I love to podcasts.
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love the memberships that I have.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: but I cannot also expect myself to be in air quotes on all the time.
• 6:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, first of all, since day one, I've always just been myself online.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't really know how to be anything else.
• 6:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: And, too, that means I don't match.
• 6:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't always have my hair done.
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't always have these things.
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, by just being myself, it has really helped me overcome the always-on pressures.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: That can be out there, but if you are feeling that, like, that is a real pressure that it's out there.
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I understand that, and I, it's difficult, but I hope that you can,
• 7:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: truly allow yourself to be yourself and everywhere you are, and you're allowed to have feelings and things like that.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if your workplace doesn't allow that, if the standard you set for yourself don't allow for that, if the people in your life don't allow for that, that means that you're always on.
• 7:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that can be a pressure that's causing burnout in your life.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, there are also some workplace factors that I think are really important to go over.
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, some of you who are listening don't have the opportunity to control the workplace.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some of you have created your own workplace.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, if any of these factors are in your workplace you created, we definitely want to unravel that.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you have these factors in the workplace that you are in, then I definitely think it's worth going.
• 7:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, at least second pinpoint part of where this burning is coming from.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: So in equitable work loads, women may face additional workouts out some of their formal roles such as supporting colleagues and have less flexibility in their jobs.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: We had an FYF a few weeks back where I actually discuss how men are given workplace reviews and women are given workplace reviews and it's really annoying because women's workplace reviews are often on their personality versus the actual job that they did.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this is as can create chronic stress in the situation at your work.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Coupled out with what you've got going on at home and you have the recipe for burnout, right?
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: gender or pay and inequality.
• 8:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: The gender wage gap and workplace discrimination creates stress while limited career advancement, opportunities, and a lack of recognition for contributions exacerbate burnout.
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, we all are aware that women are not paid the same amount of men and then you add in race and that makes it even more of a pay gap.
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if you happen to be a woman of a
• 8:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: of color, you already are probably experiencing more factors towards your burnout.
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so if you're feeling it, like, it's real, right?
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I hate that for you.
• 8:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I also think it's important that we don't deny that that's what's going on.
• 8:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then lack of support and professional environments, a lack of support from senior leaders and gender biases, can make burnout more likely in this.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, lack of support and general in-life can create burnout.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, it's so, I have ADHD.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's not easy for me to ask for help.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have to practice and the reality is, it's like, we all need it.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: We all need help.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: No one is supposed to do life well.
• 9:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then I just want to add this from psychology today because in my research for this, I found a couple things that made me think of you.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: So, y'all are high achievers.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's nothing wrong with me and high achiever, right?
• 9:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Overachieving is exhausting.
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: High achieving, nothing wrong with it.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: But high achieving women are a greater risk of burnout and identity erosion due to chronic self-neglect.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And on this podcast, we talk a lot about prioritizing yourself first, so that that can be something that is actually causing the burnout.
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: You could love what you do.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: You could love the family you have, but if you're, and you probably do, but if you are lacking that prioritization of self and neglecting you, then you're going to, even with all the things you love, create burnout experience.
• 9:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then burnout, why it's so important to pay attention, to do is that burnout can lead to anxiety depression and a loss of personal meaning and connection.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's a big deal.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a big deal.
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not only are you not able to even have anything to be to see, but
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: It can cause you to have missed experiences and relationships that you probably care so much about partners, family members, children, things like that.
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it's really, really important that we address burnout and that we discuss like what it looks like so that we can prevent it.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then we'll talk about that in the next episode, but some common signs just in case you're like, okay, I don't have it.
• 10:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: So signs of burnout.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: and women may include chronic fatigue, decreased motivation, feelings of inefficiency, increased irritability, disrupted sleep patterns, withdrawal from social activities.
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: So obviously these things can also look like paramount of pause, they can look like depression, but we had somebody on the pod who was like, I'm not depressed, right?
• 10:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: Not depressed, but I'm not fulfilled.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it think that it's important to be like, wow, if I know I'm not depressed, I don't feel that way.
• 10:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have increased irritability and I'm withdrawing from social activities.
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, if I'm decrease in motivation and I'm usually my own motivated person, there's something going on.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And instead of thinking there's something wrong with you, we can look around what's going on in my world that is causing these things that are not normal for me.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: So with all of that, you know, I definitely have had burnout in my life, you know, like we talk
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: not much recent past because of because I've gotten so good at spotting what it looks like in my body and in my life and how I'm reacting to things.
• 11:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I remember back in, probably right before our wedding, I was drawing as my day off and I was driving to the mall, to go buy something for myself.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've been going to a party as I'm going to buy this thing,
• 11:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: I saw an email pop up.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I was like, a little notification.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: So this email pop up.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And it just sent me into having a total anxiety.
• 11:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have anxiety.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: Send me to a total anxiety tech.
• 11:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: I had to pull over at a copper ad, you know?
• 11:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: And what we discovered is that like, we just sit down and like actually look at what was going on.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: And my workplace experience was just so stressful.
• 12:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Even though I loved what I did.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: I love the people I worked with, I love teaching, I love being a teacher, I loved all of it.
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: But the truth is, is that the people around me were creating a chronic stress experience.
• 12:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so we got really clear on the numbers that I needed to make in my personal business, and we made a plan, and I worked that plan, and I was able to get out of that job.
• 12:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I was able to notice, oh, oh, here are the things I am creating chronic stress in my own
• 12:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're not going to be perfect at stopping before burnout, but if you can notice what it feels like in your body and how it is presenting itself, it makes it easier.
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm going to wrap up the episode here because I know you're really busy and I don't want this podcast to be part of the chronic stress that you have in your life.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you so much for listening to the series all of a sudden.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you are enjoying the series we're doing, I would love to know.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: The topic you want us to do a little more research on, have a little more talk about it, or if there's guests that you want to like us to have on the pod, you can definitely send those in.
• 13:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: Mean the world to me if you leave a review and share this with a friend who needs to hear it.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you have a friend who's like exhibiting all these signs.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: and it would just be helpful for them to be like, oh, nothing wrong with me.
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just in a really crappy situation that is causing this kind of feeling and behavior in my body and my life.
• 13:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And there's that means we once we know that, what's where we're aware that we can make changes, we can't make changes if we're not aware right?
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: So thank you so much.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: And until next time, be a taste yet.
• 13:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's all I got for this episode of The Beat Tell You See at Podcasts.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at The Beat Pot on Instagram.
• 13:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to know more about you.
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Help us and others Beat Tell You See it.
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have an awesome day.
• 14:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
• 14:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at disenio.co.
• 14:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by Ellie at Apex production music, and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
• 14:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.