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Transcript

Couples Therapy: PAYTON and her MEME (Christmas Edition) · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, mamma, this is our second couple's podcasts that we're
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: doing together, and I got to say a lot of
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: people are really excited to have you on here. So
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: repeat guest Kadie's Kick to the Curb.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm very delighted that that I'm included in these
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: because they're actually pretty fun.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: They are fun and we get to take intentional time
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: to sit down and chat.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: So I'm not gonna lie him a little hungover today.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Shame on you, Pat.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I think I was hungover last time we did this too,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: But who cares.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: I'm in my prime. I'm twenty seven. I should be going.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: I should be hungover on Sundays. I got no kids.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I'll give you Uncle Te's phone number. You can call
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: him after the problem.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for those for those that don't know, Uncle t
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: is my uncle and my godfather, and he is my
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: memme's youngest brother and he is like in the Day
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: of the Youngest, second to the youngest, and he is
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: the a guru. He helps people with alcohol and drug problems.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I don't need to see Uncle tea anyway. Maybe I do.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: I'm joking, but no. So we had our cousin's Christmas
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: party last night.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It was our fourth annual cousins Christmas party, and it's
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: like I want to say, it's from the ages of
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: like twenty three to like forty five. It's kind of
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: where we are with our cousins. And we've talked about
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: her a little bit on the show, like our fun
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Christmas traditions. But Mammy, I feel like you have to
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: get into like our family Christmas because you're one of ten.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're I'm one of ten kids. We loved Christmas.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: We were it was so joyful. We had a big
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: ham every Christmas set my father would make and my
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: grandmother would come, the only time we would see her
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: all year, even though she only lived.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Like two miles away.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: So I guess that tells you something about having ten kids.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: But she would say, oh, Jimmy kin, sure charm a ham.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: So we call it the charmed Ham. And the youngest brother,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: number ten, Kevin, has taken on that tradition and he
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: makes the charm hand ham every year. But we had
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: a wonderful time. Everybody went to maths. We would be
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: allowed to get into our stockings first thing before my
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: parents should wake up, and then we would get our
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: gifts under the tree, which always consisted of socks and
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: pajamas and maybe a toy. It was about it, but man,
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: it was the greatest time ever. So as we grew older,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: we all wound up starting to get together and have
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: everyone come for Christmas. Kevin the youngest again did it
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: for like twenty years every year, and then at some
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: point he had a motorcycle accident. He had some health issues.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Thank god he's one hundred percent.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I was crazy, like he almost died. You remember he
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: lost a couple couple inches.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, he did. It was it was bad, It was
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: it was really bad. And then I took over the
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Hornswaggler and Terry because we're the three little kids. There's
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: I'm number seven. I'm sorry, I'm number eight, nine and ten,
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: and then Terry and Donna and his wife and sorry
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: aunt Sue. She also of course was a part of
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Kevin the festivities and would have the entire family over
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: and all of the nieces and nephews. And then there
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: were other people that joined in and other some of
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: your cousins Sean and Brian, and they wound up doing
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: in the rotation, and even Ryan, Kevin's youngest, wound up
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: doing a rotation. COVID killed our Hornswaggler Christmas.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I feel like we need to like pause for a
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: second and explain a little bit what the hornswaggle is
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: like Hornswaggler Christmas, because people that are listening have no
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: clue what the hell.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: We're talking about.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, perfect, So everyone gets together at someone's house. We
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: hosted the last Christmas get together, and the hornswaggler is
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: our gift exchange.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: It's like our version of the white Elephant.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so that is a good way to do it.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: The last in twenty nineteen, we had one hundred and
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: seventeen people here in our house. So it turned into.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: This ginormous festival.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: And the gifts for Hornswaggle, well, we would always introduce
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: all the new hornswagglers and teach them our hornswaggle song,
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: which is have yourself phoneorn swaggler Christmas.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: May your gifts be shit.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: The end is our hornswaggle cry, and you put your
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: thumbs in your ears and make reindeers. So anyway, it
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: was great and so you could get a good gift
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: or you could get a bad gift. A lot of joke.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Every year we would have a litany of things added
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: like no Christmas shit, no as seen on TV shit,
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: no booze shit, though that's still you are.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Still get the good booze. I remember one year I
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: lucked out.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I think I was like nineteen, and I got the
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: big ass gray goose bottle.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: I was not allowed to drink and everyone kept trying
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: to steal it from me.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I was like, hold on, time out, I still got
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: two years to sit on this bottle.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: I'm taking this bitch to Vegas.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So after everybody has a wonderful Christmas dinner, then
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: the people that are participating in hornswagglers, and I think
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: the last time there were like fifty of them, so
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: wounded up.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: I know it wound up.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Being about four or five hours long. It didn't break
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: up until after midnight. And we all start about four
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: in the afternoon, and everybody brings a gift and they're
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: all anonymous, and you pick numbers as far as when
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: you go you have two we have rules that are
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: that you can keep the gift. You go to the table,
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: you pick your gift on the first gift, then you
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: have two people that can take your gift, and then
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: you have to go back to the table to hit
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: the two steals or swaggles as we call them. And
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: so I'm sure that doesn't make any sense. Maybe Peyton
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: might have some footage from last night because when COVID.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: When COVID hit, we stopped our Christmas get together. So
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Peyton resurrected it. And after one year I think of
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: it being dark and that was twenty twenty, Peyton decided
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: to do it with the cousins and she got everybody
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: interested in it. She's carried on this tradition which is
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: really really beautiful.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really fun, and don't get me wrong, I
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: feel like Christmas it was more so for like us
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: younger cousins at that point, Like you guys are old and.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: Tired and wanted to know part of it. You guys
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: see each.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Other multiple times a month, anyways, that was kind of
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: our time. Once a year we'd get together because like
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I was in college, I was gone for so long
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: that those are the only time I got to see
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: my family and my cousins. So yesterday was our fourth
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: annual cousins Christmas, and we've done like a couple of
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: different things. Like the first year, we kind of just
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: hung out at the house, but we didn't do a
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: horn swaggle. And then the next year we were like,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: how about we rent a party bus, we get drunk
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: and we go around and look at Christmas lights and.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: That was so much fun.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Then last year we decided to switch it up again
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: and go bar hopping, and that was the worst decision
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: we could have ever possibly made. It was freezing, the
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: bars were packed, it was absolutely terrible. We were like,
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: screw this, We're going home, and then we ended up
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: going to the gay bar Charlie's. We dipped in our
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Christmas pajamas. But last night my cousin Geo he hosted.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: There was sixteen of us. We had two new horn
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: schwagglers that got to play, Jalen's boyfriend Alex and then
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Megan's brother's new girlfriend Zanna, And there was a couple
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: of like gag gifts, but there was also a couple
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: of really really good gifts. Sally am taking pride in
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: my gift because for one, well, Kadeem did thirty dollars
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: in lottery tickets, but we dressed it up in like
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: a little weed bag, so people thought they were getting weed,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: but it was just lottery tickets.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: So that was good.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: And then I ended up doing like a gas gift card.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: And the reason that I felt it was so good
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: is because I know everyone in our family drives an
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: electric vehicle.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: So if you end up with the gas card and
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: you have an electric car that sucks, yeah, that's true.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: And on one little point to throw in. So there
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: are nice gifts, there are you know, gifts that you
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: might not you know, really want but they're not. And
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: then there are the gag gifts yep. And the gag
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: gifts are the horn swaggles. That's where you get horn swaggles. Yeah,
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: And so it depends like I've gotten a blow up
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: doll I've gotten.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Do you remember when Megan and Devin my cousin's Megan
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: and Devin, they went j They had the best gift
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: of the night last night.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: But they went.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: To Japan they had just gotten engaged, they weren't married yet,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: And I remember being so pissed at them because it
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: was when we hosted Christmas and they brought back these
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: like weird inflatable like sex blow up dolls and a
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: haunted of like a haunted doll like Annabelle from Freaking
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: the Scary Movie. And I remember I was drunk off
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: my ass and I cussed Megan out. I was like, bitch,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I'm living here, get this out of here, take your twisted,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: possessed doll and take.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: It somewhere else.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Well, I every year proved that I was a really
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: good grandma to you kids, because if you got stuck
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: with something that you didn't like, then at the very
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: end of the hornswaggle, Well, I'm kind of jumping ahead.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: But what happens is somebody gets a good gift. Yeah,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: and if they liked the gift, then the next person
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: can either take a gift from somebody else, and then
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: that person can take another gift for somebody else, and
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: then the third one has to go to the table
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: and pick a new gift.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: And you never know, and if you really never want
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: to travel, right, if you pick.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Up something bad, then you are screwed. You're gonna have
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: that thing. So then that becomes like a side bet
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: because people will stick like fifty dollars in there in
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: the in their gift, like the doll from Megan and Devin,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: you know, and people are putting fifty dollars bills or
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: hundreds in it, and then all of a sudden, it
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: changes the trajectory. And if you get a gift that
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: you like, oh, don't show it because you can't hide them.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: But if you get a gift that you that you
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: really like and you show that you like it, somebody
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: is going to get you by seeing it right, just
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: to cause you stuff. And there are people that there
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: have not been any fistfights, but it's come pretty close.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: A few times I remember on them. But anyway, it's
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: great our cousin.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: We've talked about her a couple of times, but Meghan's
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: really close with us. And I remember the first Christmas
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: that she ever went to was when it was hot
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Heather and Ryan's house, and I remember I was like,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: who is this girl? Like she's a little too comfortable
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: with everyone, Like why is she here?
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: Who is she? I've never met her, I've been gone
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: for a couple of years. And I remember you had
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: the best gift at night.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: You did a two hundred and fifty dollars Southwest Airlines
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: gift card.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, attached to us a little.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: Airplane exactly like a little kid toy airplane. And I
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: remember I.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Got it and I was so excited. I was like
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: looking up flights like I was ready to go like
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: cash out, and I remember that bitch Meghan.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: Came in and she stole it. And I was like,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: first of all, you just came in here.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: You're not even a part of our family, and you're
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: coming here stealing all the good gifts.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: So I remember.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: So Meghan, she's now a stepmom to our little cousin, Scarlet,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: she's in high school. And I remember Scarlett wanted it
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: was like this Barbie dream house and it was like
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: a fifty dollars bill and I was like, oh, Scarlet
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: wants this, I'm stealing it. Scarlet was like I think
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: eight at the time. She's hysterically crying. I'm like, talk
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: to your new stepmom. It's her fault.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: I have no sympathy for you.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: When one last thing too, So at the very end,
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: the last person in line get.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: You get that last ticket, last ticket.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: You know, that's such a glorious day. So you get
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: whatever you want. Yeah, because nobody can squat swaggle on
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: that last ticket, the last one. There's nobody behind you.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: You take it and.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: It's yours one hundred percent.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: You get what you want because a gift can't be
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: squat swaggled in the same round. So whatever you get
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: on that last round is yours. That's another one of
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: our rules that we had to come to. But I
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: would always proved how much I love do you kids,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: because I would swaggle for anything that I would trade
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: anything that I had that was good for or something
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: to get rid that's going to be better than what
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: you kids wound up with. There was one year you
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: were drunk and you wanted the unicorn.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: You have this story mixed up. No, I did not
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: want the unicorn head, and I actually saw it in
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: the girlage.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I know I had to wear it for you. In fact,
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I would if I should have thought about it, and
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I would have worn it to this interview. So you
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: had said you wanted to be I was really drunk
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: that year. Yeah, In fact, I was so drunk that
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: to get that unicorn head from your cousin Cash, I
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: had to forgive him a three thousand dollars loan that
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: he made. That's how drunk I made you that I
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: made to him dollars. I forgave him a three thousand
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: dollars loan, and I forgave it so that I could
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: get the unicorn.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, because you have that story so so wrong.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: And I vividly remember.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: So we had, like I think it was like we
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: had a small Christmas that year, and there was only,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: like I want to say, thirty five of us.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: I was sitting next.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: To you, You were on my left, and Devin and
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Megan were on my right, and Cash was in front
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: of me. Cash pulled the thirty fifth numbers. So me
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: and Cash are bantering back and forth because he had
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: a gift that I wanted, but Cash had that stupid
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: unicorn head. And so we're sitting there and me're having
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: our own side deal. Unbeknownst to you, you're just catching
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: the side of me being like, get.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: The unicorn head, get the unicorn head.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Even though we're scamming and scheming over here, and you
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: ended up with the unicornhead.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: You're like, I got it. I said I didn't want that.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: I didn't want that. I wanted the freaking picture. I
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: don't know what the hell it was.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was, you know what, It was so
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: much fun. And I have to tell you I never
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: took hornswagglers, like, I never just bought something. It was
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: always if it was a gag gift, it was a
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: great gag gift, yeah, and if it was a good gift,
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: if it was a gift. And whenever I hosted, I
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: learned early on the the secret to hornswagglers is to
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: have a couple of good things in that mix that
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: people want. And so if I hosted it, there was
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: always a really good gift that would go way over.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: It was a thirty five dollars limit, and then well
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: it was thirty five, then we raised it to fifty.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: But I always made sure that whatever that if I
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: was hosting it, that we got something really really good
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: to make that hornswaggle spicy.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Do you remember when we got that super dope like
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: bourbon dragon from.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Costco that one? Yeah, that was that was really cool.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: But no, last night we had so much fun. Me
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: and Kadeem Kadim ended up walking away with his with
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: my gift, the thirty dollars gas gift guard, so I
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: filled up his tank for him and then I ended
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: up walking away with the pringles can.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: But I had fifty bucks in there, so I came
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: up a little bit.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Jalen, my brother Jalen, and his boyfriend Alex got the
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: shittiest gifts of the night.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: By far. What did they get.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I can't really exactly remember what Jalen had now that
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it, I think he ended up with
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: like an Amazon gift card or twenty thirty dollars Amazon
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: gift card.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Nucky whatever.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: And then Alex so Alex, it was his first horn straggle,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: and he was like, I want to.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Go to the table. I want to go to the table.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: We're like, bad idea, dude. I'm like, Alex, your number eight.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: You should not go to this table right now. He
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: and then he picks up a gift bag. Even worse,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: he opens it up.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: I wish I could show you the picture on my
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: phone that, but we're recording, and he had this like.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: It's like this plushy thing and it was like it's
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: like it's like a wiener, but it's like big, like
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: has like big balls around it and you unzip it
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: and it has like little sperm plushies that Shannon started
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: throwing at.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Everyone and everyone is cracking up. They were like, show
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: the receipt. We were like, this is a shitty gift,
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Like who wants this?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: And Shannon pulled sure enough, pulled out the receipt, pulled
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: out the receipt and we were like, Alex, you can
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: sit there and get real comfortable with that.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Shannon, my cousin. She ended up getting also a really
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: shitty gift.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: She got like, you know, like the little kid games,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: like an air hockey machine and a dart machine. We
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: were like, yeah, dude, we give that to your nephew
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: or something because you're stuck with that for the rest
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: of the night.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, that's a that's wonderful because that actually
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: is such an unus.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: That's actually unique.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: That gift might have been crappy, but it's unique and
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: it'll be a really good conversation piece. And I suggested
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Alex put it on his couch so anybody coming over
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: can see it and you can have a little icebreaker there. Yea,
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: So it's kind of cool, you know that you brought
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: It's like the story the Christmas Carol with Hornswagglers. We
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: were able to do a little bit of Christmas past, yeah,
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: and Christmas present, and who knows, maybe we'll have Hornswegler
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: again in the future.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Maybe, I don't know. It was really fun.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: But before we wrap up this podcast, I feel like
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: we should talk about some like weird like other Christmas tradition.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: So I've talked about it on the show before, and
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: nobody understands when I tell them that we used to
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: take our Christmas tree and put it.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: In the pool.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Well, that's nobody understood. And they were like, who does that.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, it keeps the tree alive longer.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: And then also Jalen had asthma and it got all
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: the allergins off.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So we'd buy the tree and we'd throw it
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: in the swimming pool and it would that tree would
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: last us two weeks because we'd always get it pretty early.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Now they die within a couple of days, and I
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: do not. I refuse to do a fake tree, you know.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I refuse, Well, you have a fake tree that's outside,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: that sits they're year round.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: That three hundred pound porcelain Christmas tree.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was drunker and I bought that one too.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Where you get it, Peyton.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: So we'd gone out to Christmas dinner a couple of
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: days before Christmas and away like, oh my god, and
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: we were shoving it in the back of a little
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: car and I don't even know how we did it.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: It weighs about three hundred pounds and Dad moved it
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: once and knocked the star off the top and anyway,
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: and we got it back. You got to glued back
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: on again for us. But anyway, yeah, that was and stockings,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Like I said, stockings is that other little thing. So
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: when we were kids, you know, we'd go to church,
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: usually a midnight mass is where my parents would take
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: us all and we're all tired and whatever, and then
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: they would wrap gifts all night or whatever they did
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: because we never saw them, so I don't know, and
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: we'd all wake up on Christmas morning and the rule
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: was let the parents sleep and we could open up
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: our stockings. So we would get like nuts like in
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: the shells, like brazil nuts and whatever.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Can.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: We get oranges at the end of verse and you
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: get you got tangerines, not oranges and tangerines and they
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: were in there, and maybe a couple of pieces of candy,
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: like a candy cane or something like that, and that
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: was it. But that was a really big deal for
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: all of us kids. So we really enjoyed that and
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: that started our Christmas. So then your mom when when
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: one Christmas, I was really broke, and it was she
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: was five years old. I was working a couple of jobs,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: and I'd had the shift always. I always took the
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: shift on Christmas Eve as a bartender in this little
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: bar in the town where we grew up, Arcadia. And
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: I finished work and I'm like, oh my god, I
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: forgot I forgot the stocking and everything was closed. So
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: I went home and I'm like, what am I going
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: to do? I had some fruit, so I threw an
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: apple in there. I threw like, you know, five or
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: six bucks of chip money in there. And there was
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: some fudge that someone had brought us one of our neighbors,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: and was sitting on a paper plate and my refrigerator
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: for like five days. It was hard as a rock.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: And I took that and I threw it in a
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: plastic bag and I put that in there, and I
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: forgot to mention. Earlier in the night. My sister Morrow
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: would always bring Miranda over to the bar to say
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: good night to me on Christmas Eve. She always watched through.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: That was our tradition. Well, Shanta was there and his wife,
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: some people dressed up, some customers dressed up like Santa
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: and Missus cloths, and when Miranda came in, she said, Mommy,
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: I want to buy Santa drink and everybody fell out.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: They laughed so freaking hard. It was so cute. She
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: was four, she wasn't five. And so anyway back to
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: the story that I screwed up. So Christmas morning, I'm sleeping,
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: she wakes up to go get in her stockings, and
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: she comes in the room crying. And she wakes up
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: and she said, I never should about Son and that drink,
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: but he brought me in my stocking. It's fuck from
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: a refrigerator, and it was so funny. I never should
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: about Son and that drink.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, it was so cute.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: But the next year, they.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Like Fannah got too drunk. He forgot to give me
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: a good stocking.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: So the next year, when she turned five, I had
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: to make up for it, and I got her. I
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: went after work. There was a little store like Woolworth's
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: was the name of it. And well they might still
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: have wool or someplace, but anyway, you could buy like
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: fifteen they had twenty five things that were less than
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: a buck. And so I went and got her like
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: twenty five things less than a buck.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: And she woke up on.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Christmas with this huge stocking, all these huge presents. She
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: probably had fifty shitty little presents like Jack's and you
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: know rubber balls and those little paddles where you have
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: the ball on the end and crept like that in
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: a slinky or whatever. And she had the best Christmas
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: and since then, she just takes those stockings to a
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: level that is unbelievable.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, I was telling Kyle about it the other
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: day that I think that our stockings alone are personally
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: my favorite gifts that we get every single year. And
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I feel like the kids, I mean, we definitely didn't
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: appreciate it as much as now when we get older.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: But like I was telling Kyle, like those are our
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: good gifts, Like that's where we get like our nice
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: perfume and good makeup and jewelry and you know, candy
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: or whatever. We get cleaning supplies that we need or whatever.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: But Mom was telling me, I'm not sure she's gonna
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: do it this year. Maybe next year we'll start, but
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: she kind of like let me down a little bit,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna lie because she was like, well, now
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: all of you guys are in your relationship, like Dominique
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: and Blake are together, me and Kadem and then you
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: have Jalen and Alex and she said, I'm done with stockings.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: You guys can do your own stockings and you'll do
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: your partners, and your partner will do yours. And I'm
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: sitting here and I think about all the years where
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: Mom's gotten fucked over on the stockings because Dad doesn't
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: get in, doesn't.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Fill him up.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: He's getting a little bit, he's getting he's getting better, yeah,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: over the years. But like all I'm thinking is like,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: he's not gonna fill up my stocking. He's gonna half
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: ass in just like dad does. Blake is definitely gonna
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: half assed dominique stocking too. The only one that's gonna
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: have a good stocking is Jalen and Alex.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Well. I I think that, you know, I think that
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: that's a tradition that's going to be very very hard
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: to to for her to give up. But she could
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: certainly do it and cut back.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's they're like fifty bucks per stocking.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: But it's not even one stocking. Now everybody's got two
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: or three. And the kids there's stockings, the three little
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: we do grand babies, my great grandkids, they've got five
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: foot stockings. Yeah, and two of them, so it's ridiculous,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: you know, for that part, it's it's like gotten so big.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: So it's not ridiculous because she does it and it's
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: really cool for everybody. But I'm sure she can still
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: do it, but downsize.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: It because you're my personal favorite.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: You're right, And then when you guys have kids, like
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Dom could definitely do this stocking.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Well dons to do the stockings for kids, but she doesn't.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: But she's didn't matter, you know, and we're all getting
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: when they got it done by mom and dad exactly.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I feel like, So I just watched this movie on
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Amazon Prime. It's called Oh What Fun, and it's Michelle
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Seiffer's She's the main character. She's the mom, and it
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: basically like talks about like how the moms are like
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: the heart and soul of the holidays and how they're
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: always doing everything, and like the storyline like they forget
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: her for a play that she bought tickets for everyone,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: and she ends up like running away and like going
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: to enjoy Christmas by herself and stuff. But I was
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: watching it and it was cute and it was funny,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: but then it also made me listen or made me
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: like think, like that's so true. Like without mom, like
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: we wouldn't have half of like the memories and the
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: good times that we have, so.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: Like it kind of gave me a little bit of
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: a gut check.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: It made me think of Thanksgiving when I told her
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: I would help her and then slept the whole day.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Oh no, you did help her, but you know back
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: and the last thing about your mom. You know, that
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: love of Christmas came from my parents and my mother,
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: who died when I was very young. With my mom
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: and dad making Christmas so wonderful for USh kids, that
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: I carried that on for Miranda, just like all of
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: my siblings carried it on for their kids. And that
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: joy of Christmas really comes from my mom.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Who loved God.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: It's a religious holiday, everybody, Remember we all went to Mass.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I'd like to insert that in our family dynamic. Don't
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: know if that's going to happen, but I'm going back,
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: and I took fifty years off and I'm going back.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I struggle sitting through a Catholic Mass. I have a
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: hard time sitting there. Maybe very don't get me wrong,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I'm very much like still very much in my faith.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: We actually said a prayer to seeing Anthony on the
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: air the other day because Kyle lost her Santa sax.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Good indid she find them?
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: She has not found them yet, Well he will sink.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Anthony has the largest staff in heaven, tons of people
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: looking for all the stuff people lose. But anyway back
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: to that, so that love of Christmas that we all
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: share has come from my ten siblings, onto our children,
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: onto their children, and then your generation onto the other one.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: So it's really a beautiful thing. It's faith, it's love,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: it's family. Yeah, that's it. And a really good gag
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: gift for Hornswaggle.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: Yes, and we always get drunk out of Murphy Christmas.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: It's a great time. Not everyone, not everyone, but most
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: of us.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, I feel like we should wrap up the podcast
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: with singing Hornswaggle.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Christmas one time.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, have yourself horn waggle Christmas.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: May your gift shape or on