Latest / Dying to Tell You / When the Scan Changes Everything: Amanda's Second Craniotomy [Callback Episode]

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When the Scan Changes Everything: Amanda's Second Craniotomy [Callback Episode] · Dying to Tell You

• 0:00
  This is a dying to tell you call back.
• 0:08
  Everybody is like, don't worry about the money.
• 0:10
  Don't worry about I'm the only one worrying about the money right now.
• 0:14
  I'm like, you guys, this is we have to really consider this because everyone's like, we'll
• 0:19
  do whatever it takes.
• 0:22
  Hold slow down.
• 0:26
  As I promised a few weeks ago, this week, we're checking back in with Amanda.
• 0:30
  As I said, she's had some developments in her situation, and I wanted her to tell you
• 0:35
  herself what has happened, how she's feeling about it, and how she's thinking about her
• 0:40
  next steps.
• 0:47
  This is dying to tell you well, Amanda, thank you for coming back for joining us again.
• 1:04
  So I know a little bit about what's happened because I follow you on social media and I
• 1:08
  imagine a few people who follow me or follow you probably know a little bit about what's
• 1:15
  going on.
• 1:16
  But I'm sure there are people who heard your original episode a few weeks ago and did not
• 1:23
  hear the update.
• 1:26
  So I want to kind of give you some space just to talk about what has happened since that
• 1:32
  original episode.
• 1:33
  And I guess you can just really talk about this last scan and then we can kind of take
• 1:39
  it from there.
• 1:41
  Yes.
• 1:42
  So I went to UCSF for my 20th month scan, and I do the MRI.
• 1:52
  And I don't know why there was something that kind of changed a little bit after I did that
• 2:00
  one.
• 2:01
  I kind of almost had this feeling like, oh, and there was nothing to really kind of go
• 2:06
  off of that.
• 2:08
  So the MRI was a Monday and then the results are on Tuesday.
• 2:12
  And my neuro-oncologist is usually kind of like, Papi, I just could tell something was
• 2:21
  off.
• 2:22
  And I just was like.
• 2:23
  You mentioned that last time that you would know when you see her, it's a her, yeah, right?
• 2:33
  And so she comes in and the one thing I will say is she didn't immediately say something
• 2:39
  was different.
• 2:41
  And so she's talking, she's talking.
• 2:44
  And then all of a sudden she goes, and I go, oh, this is, you know, this is the moment
• 2:50
  that everyone with cancer fears is that something's different.
• 2:56
  And so she said, I wanted to let you know, we do see something on your scan.
• 3:01
  We caught it extremely early.
• 3:06
  She also said that it was so tiny, it was really, really small.
• 3:12
  And she said, but you have to have another craniotomy.
• 3:16
  And I'm thinking, what?
• 3:19
  And I said, if this is so small, like why is craniotomy number two a thing?
• 3:25
  And she kind of does her talk and she said, it's very superficial.
• 3:31
  It's like right at the dura, right at the base of my skull.
• 3:35
  And also said it was in probably one of the easiest resectable areas possible.
• 3:43
  My neurosurgeon said my first craniotomy was eight to nine hours long.
• 3:50
  They're anticipating this to be two to three hours.
• 3:55
  And they also don't think that I need steroids.
• 3:58
  So then Dr. Taylor said, as far as craniotomies go, not saying this is as easy as it gets,
• 4:08
  but this is a fairly not complicated surgery.
• 4:14
  And I just, I mean, I think I just froze.
• 4:19
  And I honestly, I'm almost a month in and surgeries and eight, nine days, and I have
• 4:28
  not unfrozen yet.
• 4:29
  I mean, I think I've still in that state of shock right now of what?
• 4:38
  Solely because I don't feel, if anything, I'm stronger than I've been.
• 4:46
  I have more endurance than I've had because I'm training for that Mount Everest climb
• 4:51
  again.
• 4:53
  So I am at floored right now.
• 5:00
  I don't know enough about glioblastoma to know.
• 5:06
  Is it typical for with a recurrence or progression to have a second craniotomy?
• 5:14
  Is that usual?
• 5:15
  Yeah.
• 5:16
  That's what you hope for.
• 5:18
  You hope that you have that chance to almost, I wouldn't say a restart, but kind of that
• 5:26
  you're going to get some time back, that this isn't it.
• 5:30
  And so a second craniotomy is really a positive thing.
• 5:35
  I believe my neuro-oncologist, as well as my neurosurgeons, like, again, this is about
• 5:41
  as easy as it might be for brain surgery.
• 5:46
  So having the ability to have one is a very positive thing.
• 5:51
  When somebody has a recurrence and they have a second craniotomy, what's the typical thing
• 6:03
  to do after that?
• 6:04
  Yeah.
• 6:05
  So that is like the million dollar question.
• 6:09
  So I guess I should back up just a little bit to give you a little more information.
• 6:16
  So my neuro-oncologist tells me that I have what they're looking at as a recurrence.
• 6:23
  They said, you know, if the neurosurgeon goes in there, there's a possibility that this
• 6:28
  is just treatment related or anything else.
• 6:34
  Something other than tumor, just like scar tissue or some other something in there.
• 6:39
  Yeah.
• 6:41
  That's what we're really hopeful for right now, but they said the only way to figure
• 6:46
  it out is to get the craniotomy.
• 6:48
  And so I went from my neuro-oncologist office, and then this girl from UCSF comes in.
• 6:56
  And I've never seen this lady.
• 6:59
  And she goes, oh, I'm part of the clinical trial team.
• 7:04
  And I was like, wait, what?
• 7:07
  This is warranting a clinical trial?
• 7:10
  Because to me, for whatever reason, with my limited knowledge of having glioblastoma for
• 7:16
  only 20 months, I always thought clinical trial was like the end of the road.
• 7:23
  This is it.
• 7:25
  And all of a sudden, I get up and I'm someone almost chronic people pleaser, or I'll just
• 7:32
  do anything to make people comfortable.
• 7:35
  And I just told this lady, her name was Lauren, I said, can I have a minute?
• 7:41
  Because I just was told this.
• 7:43
  Now I'm talking about a clinical trial.
• 7:47
  And so I go to the bathroom, or I just excused myself.
• 7:51
  I went to the bathroom.
• 7:53
  I had like a, I wouldn't call it a panic attack.
• 7:57
  I just couldn't breathe.
• 7:59
  And oh my goodness, so I excused myself, needed a moment.
• 8:06
  The one odd thing is, is there's another person, there's a guy in my hometown that is at UCSF.
• 8:14
  And he, he also has glioblastoma, we've become really good friends.
• 8:19
  And I knew that he was on this trial, and I go, oh, okay, because he had a recurrence.
• 8:24
  And I heard him out, but in the back of my mind, I kept thinking, no, I mean, there was
• 8:33
  almost this just strong no.
• 8:36
  And so when I had to sign this, the clinical trial paperwork, I kept saying, this doesn't
• 8:43
  mean I'm doing it, right?
• 8:45
  This doesn't mean I'm doing it.
• 8:47
  And they said, no, no, we're just kind of capitalizing on you being physically here,
• 8:52
  we're going to run blood work.
• 8:53
  But at any time, you can not be on the clinical trial.
• 8:57
  So I said that probably like five or six times, all right, remember, I don't know if I want
• 9:03
  to do this or not.
• 9:07
  And so I got the blood work.
• 9:11
  And then we leave San Francisco, and I call my friend who's on this clinical trial.
• 9:19
  And this man is incredibly, he's incredibly brilliant.
• 9:23
  He's very smart.
• 9:26
  I believe he's a physicist, and when I got him on the phone, he almost couldn't speak
• 9:33
  well.
• 9:34
  And I go, if there was already a hesitation to do this clinical trial, him speaking was
• 9:47
  the no, the absolute no for me.
• 9:51
  And so, yeah, so when, to then go back, like, essentially, when you have a recurrence, your
• 10:03
  choices are clinical trial, Avastin, or Lumistine, which are all kind of the same.
• 10:16
  So what I kind of felt like, and this is not at all what happened, but in my brain, I felt
• 10:24
  in that moment, it's like, take this clinical trial or die.
• 10:29
  And that's not what was said to me, but that's how I interpret it.
• 10:33
  Absolutely.
• 10:34
  So yes, that's your option.
• 10:38
  If you have a recurrence after standard of care, that those are kind of the only things
• 10:45
  that are technically currently offered to you when you have glioblastoma.
• 10:52
  So I know that you've been talking about looking at alternatives, going to other places for
• 10:59
  treatment.
• 11:01
  Have you made any kind of decisions or any, like, progress in figuring out what you're
• 11:08
  going to do after the surgery?
• 11:10
  Yeah.
• 11:11
  So the trial that was offered to me was I had to do immunotherapy two weeks before surgery,
• 11:18
  and then I would have to do surgery.
• 11:22
  I'm just unwilling to do anything before surgery.
• 11:26
  So that is now leaving clinical trials that don't require surgery.
• 11:33
  And then there are some advancements with immunotherapies in other countries, which
• 11:40
  is like Germany, Lithuania, the UK, which are the ones that I'm really heavily considering.
• 11:48
  But what's so hard is, I mean, if I were to have all the money in the world, the one I
• 11:55
  would love to go after is $250,000, and that's just year one.
• 12:01
  And so I'm thinking, like, you really have to, I mean, it's crazy.
• 12:08
  And also, this isn't a for sure.
• 12:11
  Like you're about to...
• 12:12
  Right.
• 12:13
  Yeah.
• 12:14
  Right.
• 12:15
  Yeah.
• 12:16
  That's what I was thinking.
• 12:17
  You know, even if you had all the money in the world, or even if you had a disposable
• 12:19
  $250,000, you're putting all of that into, you know, a medication, a treatment that might
• 12:30
  work, might not.
• 12:32
  And even if it works, you don't know what working is really going to look like.
• 12:39
  How much time could it offer you?
• 12:41
  Yeah.
• 12:42
  That's a really, I mean, that's a really difficult place to be.
• 12:46
  Oh, and you know what, gosh, bless my parents, because I really thought about it.
• 12:52
  There's three options that I'm considering.
• 12:55
  One is about $100,000, and I feel like that's doable.
• 13:00
  That's something that like I can do on my own.
• 13:05
  But anything after that, it's, I mean, I would have to borrow out of my inheritance.
• 13:10
  My parents are still alive.
• 13:13
  And so, and my parents are like, we will, like, whatever you need, like, we'll put the
• 13:18
  house.
• 13:19
  I'm like, absolutely not.
• 13:20
  Like, no way.
• 13:21
  Like, I, there's just, and you know, they're my poor parents, like, again, I'm the baby
• 13:26
  of the family.
• 13:28
  They will do anything for me.
• 13:29
  But it's like, at some point, I don't feel comfortable doing that at all, you know, of
• 13:39
  course.
• 13:40
  I was lost till I fell in your eyes, had me wondering why I don't feel like home.
• 13:52
  I hold you close so you're by my side till the end of time, before we go.
• 14:03
  We stay with you, we never leave.
• 14:09
  You walked into my life and I am glad you came, glad you came.
• 14:21
  When you're not around, I feel broken, glad you came, glad you came, glad you came.
• 14:34
  And from the outside looking in, I think a lot of people would say, well, whatever it
• 14:41
  takes, you know, money shouldn't, money shouldn't be a thing when you're talking about saving
• 14:48
  a life.
• 14:49
  Yeah.
• 14:50
  And we don't know what saving a life looks like.
• 14:54
  We don't know that it's going to be effective.
• 14:56
  And the reality is, even if you, you know, get another five or 10 years, you still have
• 15:03
  to live with having spent all that money on that.
• 15:07
  And, you know, if somebody else is spending the money on it, everybody has to live with
• 15:11
  the financial realities of what happens afterwards.
• 15:17
  And so I think even in the moment when you're terrified about something like this, it's
• 15:24
  easy to go, whatever, whatever, just do whatever.
• 15:28
  But in your calmer moments, when you have a minute to think about it, yeah, there's
• 15:34
  realities that everybody has to live with after the fact.
• 15:37
  And that's a really hard thing to kind of wrap your mind around.
• 15:41
  Yeah.
• 15:42
  The one wild thing is my mom and my dad and everybody is like, don't worry about the money.
• 15:49
  Don't worry about it.
• 15:50
  I'm the only one worrying about the money right now.
• 15:53
  I'm like, you guys, this is, we have to really consider this because everyone's like, we'll
• 15:58
  do whatever it takes.
• 16:00
  Hold, slow down.
• 16:02
  Let's really contemplate this one.
• 16:05
  And so the one place in Germany, which is kind of the one that I wanted to go, there's,
• 16:13
  there's a decent amount of people probably with GBAM that know these three places.
• 16:18
  Probably.
• 16:19
  Yeah.
• 16:20
  Yeah.
• 16:21
  So you're not giving away secrets now.
• 16:22
  So the DC Vax was a clinical trial out of UCLA in 20, 2004, which was incredibly successful.
• 16:37
  There's still the red tape.
• 16:39
  They know that it is very effective against GBM, but it takes 10 to 20 years to push something
• 16:46
  through, which is insane.
• 16:49
  So I would have to go to the UK to get this treatment as compassionate care because essentially
• 17:00
  I would pass away if this wasn't a thing.
• 17:03
  And that's the one that's about, you know, after two to three years is about $250,000.
• 17:09
  That's in the UK.
• 17:10
  Then there's a place called, I don't know if I'm saying it right, but say got Germany
• 17:17
  and a lot of people with glioblastoma go to this place.
• 17:22
  The only unfortunate thing is from your surgery.
• 17:28
  And when Germany gets your tissue sample, the time between that and getting your first
• 17:34
  vaccine in Germany, because you have to go to Germany for care is four months and four
• 17:40
  months when you have glioblastoma is like a lifetime.
• 17:45
  It might be your lifetime, right?
• 17:47
  Yeah, exactly.
• 17:49
  And so, and then the other one is, I think it's called ISOC, it's I-Z-O-K.
• 17:57
  It's more blood related.
• 17:59
  So it's, there's almost like a faster turnaround time to get the vaccine or whatever they create.
• 18:08
  So those are kind of the options that I'm pursuing.
• 18:15
  And I know if other people in glioblastoma are listening to this, they know exactly about
• 18:21
  these things for sure.
• 18:24
  So how will you decide what to do?
• 18:31
  I'm praying for a miracle right now.
• 18:33
  I am praying for, they get in there and they're like, oh, it's just tissue because it could,
• 18:42
  you know, like I feel everybody who's ever had cancer is praying for that miracle or
• 18:48
  they can say that it's benign, right?
• 18:50
  There is something there, but we do have to get it analyzed and that it could be, you
• 18:55
  know, just a benign tumor mixed in with maybe some radiation necrosis or anything.
• 19:03
  So it is, it is definitely going to come down to what I feel comfortable with financially.
• 19:14
  And I'm also not excluding clinical trials that make sense for me.
• 19:20
  There's not a lot out there, but there's a couple.
• 19:24
  But another problem is, is most of the time the tumor comes back the same.
• 19:30
  So it has the same markers, the same everything.
• 19:33
  Sometimes it can change.
• 19:34
  It can change in your favor or it can not change in your favor at all.
• 19:39
  To be honest, I have almost all the hallmark, fast growing glioblastoma markers.
• 19:46
  So I have kind of the harder ones.
• 19:49
  So it would be just like up from there if they changed.
• 19:54
  So there are some clinical trials that are targeting.
• 19:59
  It's called EGFR, which kind of is a promoter and it can sometimes make a tumor come back
• 20:06
  a little bit faster.
• 20:08
  I do have that marker.
• 20:10
  And so going on a trial specifically for that, that would make sense, but not what was kind
• 20:19
  of handed to me was a clinical trial that is successful in bladder cancer.
• 20:25
  And I'm thinking, why are we wasting our time?
• 20:34
  And so you have to just be really smart or some people could just go like, I'm just going
• 20:41
  to listen to my team and whatever they say is what I should do.
• 20:46
  But I have almost gone against my team this whole time.
• 20:53
  There's some empowerment in there, but then there's also the fear of, am I doing the right
• 20:59
  thing?
• 21:00
  Am I doing the wrong thing?
• 21:01
  Should I just listen to them?
• 21:03
  But in my heart, that's a no, it is really a no.
• 21:07
  And especially with my friend, having the complications that he's had in the same trial
• 21:14
  and we're both the same age, we're both 44.
• 21:19
  Yeah, it was just a no.
• 21:22
  Yeah.
• 21:23
  Yeah.
• 21:24
  The one thing with surgery, I will say, I didn't have time to think about surgery last
• 21:32
  time.
• 21:33
  I am, it is, my personality is like almost like rapidly changing in the sense of, as
• 21:44
  you know, like I love hiking and being outdoors, true story.
• 21:50
  I went out for a walk because I'm like, I need to get some fresh air.
• 21:54
  I have this baby hill that I have to climb to get home from the beach.
• 22:01
  My heart started pounding, like any type of exertion right now that makes me feel like
• 22:07
  there's an adrenaline rush happening.
• 22:11
  Oh my gosh, I almost have like borderline panic attacks.
• 22:16
  And I'm thinking, holy moly, and it's, it's progressing right now.
• 22:20
  Even this morning, I had this sweet little black cat, and I was just in the kitchen because
• 22:25
  I said, okay, remember, you are having a hard time on the walk, so maybe take the walk later
• 22:32
  in the day.
• 22:33
  So your cortisol is not up.
• 22:35
  I played with my little cat in the kitchen, did it again, and I'm thinking, holy moly,
• 22:41
  like my nervous system is like shot right now.
• 22:47
  Just off the charts.
• 22:50
  It's next level.
• 22:55
  And so I definitely am just going through it right now.
• 23:00
  On edge.
• 23:01
  For sure.
• 23:03
  You're very smiley.
• 23:04
  And so I think it would be easy to go, well, she's doing just fine.
• 23:10
  I know.
• 23:13
  But are you, would you say that you're nervous, scared, sad, I mean, how would you characterize
• 23:23
  it?
• 23:24
  All of the above.
• 23:25
  It's almost like it hasn't let up in the sense of I will just be kind of going about my day
• 23:34
  and I will just have that like wave of anxiety, wave of panic, wave of like sadness to think,
• 23:44
  I knew that this day was inevitable, like I truly knew this day was inevitable.
• 23:50
  But to hear it out loud is, you know, I think I went into shock and then I kind of stayed
• 24:00
  in somewhat of a version of a shock.
• 24:03
  And I'm hopeful that I get out of it before surgery because, you know, I'm also thinking
• 24:09
  like, oh my gosh, what is this doing to my body right now?
• 24:13
  I'm probably the most stressed I've ever been.
• 24:18
  I cry at like the drop of anything right now.
• 24:23
  Or if my parents ask questions like, oh, how are you doing?
• 24:28
  And not good, not good at all, I'm scared.
• 24:32
  And I just keep thinking like, what am I doing for myself right now in the sense of being
• 24:40
  so scared, being so terrified, being just so nervous about that craniotomy.
• 24:49
  I think there's like part of me is like, oh my gosh, like, what if I don't wake up?
• 24:54
  And I never thought about that last time.
• 24:56
  I don't, again, I think because I didn't have this time to reflect or anything, but.
• 25:03
  Well, you also really didn't know what you were, I mean, it was so soon after diagnosis,
• 25:08
  right?
• 25:09
  And now you have learned a lot more about what glioblastoma is and what a craniotomy
• 25:17
  is.
• 25:18
  Yeah.
• 25:19
  Yeah.
• 25:20
  There's a lot more information, which I think empowers somebody, some people and also can
• 25:25
  be terrifying.
• 25:26
  Yeah.
• 25:27
  Oh, and it is like it is.
• 25:31
  I've been really mindful with what I'm listening to, what I'm talking, like a lot of my house
• 25:39
  is very quiet right now, very quiet, like almost very, not somber, but kind of somber.
• 25:48
  And it is just a really, really quiet house.
• 25:53
  So I think what's happening is I have so much time to internally think worst case scenario,
• 26:03
  best case scenario, and then you don't want to get too hopeful.
• 26:06
  So then kind of stick in the worst case scenario, you know, and I'm like, what is happening?
• 26:11
  Usually I'm the other side.
• 26:12
  And now I'm like, here are the, all the things that can go wrong.
• 26:16
  And I'm, for the most part, like fixating on that.
• 26:19
  And I just thinking like, you love your surgeon, you know, how incredible he is, you know,
• 26:25
  he know, you have three anesthesiologists, like, hopefully one of them's paying attention.
• 26:31
  So it's, it's, it's, it's really wild to get in your own head because I'm usually not
• 26:49
  so I'm halfway realistic, halfway very pop, like optimistic.
• 26:54
  But right now it's like worst case scenario, trying to be midline right now.
• 26:59
  And I'm hopeful to get on the other side of that for sure.
• 27:03
  I like talking to you right now and like saying it out loud.
• 27:07
  That's probably where the, like the, the smiles and the joys coming is like, I'm saying this
• 27:12
  out loud to, to someone who's listening and not in my own head trying to make the worst
• 27:19
  case scenario happen.
• 27:20
  Yeah.
• 27:21
  Yeah.
• 27:21
  Yeah.
• 27:22
  I've, I've talked to several people recently about how, when, when there is uncertainty
• 27:31
  and unknowns, our brains are really good at filling in the answers and, and we don't fill
• 27:38
  in the answers with all the things that could go right, because you don't have to plan or
• 27:43
  worry about things that go right.
• 27:45
  You have to worry and plan for things that are going wrong.
• 27:48
  And so it's totally normal to think of all the bad things that, that can happen.
• 27:56
  And I don't, I don't have a fix for you, but you know, I, I get it.
• 28:01
  I understand that it is so easy just to make up a story about everything bad that's going
• 28:08
  to happen or that could happen.
• 28:10
  So, yeah, I'm, I don't know.
• 28:14
  I haven't said it to you.
• 28:15
  I'm sorry.
• 28:15
  I'm sorry this is happening.
• 28:18
  Yeah.
• 28:18
  It's I, like you said, it's something that you knew at some day, some day would come
• 28:25
  and it, it felt like, I mean, I'm not there living it with you, but it felt like to me,
• 28:32
  like we were in a place, right.
• 28:34
  There is just going to be okay for a while and it was okay for a while, but it seems
• 28:40
  like it came sooner than what you thought and certainly sooner than you'd hoped.
• 28:47
  So I'm sorry that you're going through it, but I am confident you will get through this,
• 28:53
  this craniotomy.
• 28:54
  You've done it before and you've got a good surgeon and three anesthesiologists that are
• 29:00
  all going to pay attention.
• 29:01
  I promise.
• 29:03
  Yeah.
• 29:03
  So yeah, I am sorry.
• 29:07
  And I'm hopeful that whatever you find to do on the other side is going to be effective
• 29:14
  and that you've got more time.
• 29:16
  So yes, I don't want to keep you too long, but is there anything else that you, that
• 29:24
  you want to say or that you want to talk about?
• 29:27
  Yeah.
• 29:28
  So I will say that there's a guy named Adam who just passed away from glioblastoma.
• 29:36
  He, he, I believe lives eight to nine years with it.
• 29:40
  And he kind of coined this phrase about the glioblastoma world.
• 29:45
  And it's, it's a family that you never wanted to be in, but when you're in it, it's just
• 29:51
  the best family in the world.
• 29:53
  And I have made a community of people with glioblastoma just almost immediately.
• 30:01
  And I will say every single person that I reached out to in the GBM world, oh my gosh,
• 30:10
  they are the reasons why I made so many decisions.
• 30:14
  And mostly they are the reasons why I made the no's that, no, I'm not going to do that.
• 30:21
  No, I'm not going to do this.
• 30:23
  And if anyone is listening in the GBM, probably any cancer has the same story.
• 30:29
  I imagine.
• 30:30
  Those people are pivotal.
• 30:33
  And I, I sincerely cannot thank them enough for their time and their expertise.
• 30:40
  And they're just like guidance because they know what it's like to be on the other side.
• 30:46
  They know their family members living with it.
• 30:48
  They're living with it.
• 30:49
  And I'm forever thankful for this community.
• 30:53
  And I mean, again, it's like not a community you want to be in, but when you're in it,
• 30:58
  you're just like open arms forever.
• 31:02
  So thank you to anyone listening.
• 31:06
  But again, it's probably with as every cancer has that same story.
• 31:10
  Yeah, I imagine.
• 31:12
  Yeah.
• 31:13
  Well, thank you for taking time to let people know what's going on.
• 31:20
  I'll be thinking about you.
• 31:21
  Thank you.
• 31:22
  Sending you all my hopes.
• 31:24
  And yeah, let us know what happens and what you decide where you're going to go.
• 31:30
  Maybe we can do this from Germany.
• 31:33
  Yeah.
• 31:33
  Yes.
• 31:34
  That'd be amazing.
• 31:40
  Okay.
• 31:40
  All right.
• 31:41
  Well, I know time is precious and I appreciate you being generous with it.
• 31:46
  So it's good to see you.
• 31:49
  Yeah.
• 31:51
  All right.
• 31:51
  We'll talk soon.
• 31:53
  Okay.
• 31:54
  Bye.
• 32:00
  As we all know, time is precious, especially when facing one's own mortality.
• 32:05
  So I appreciate Amanda being willing to spend time talking with me.
• 32:08
  By the time this comes out, Amanda will be through her second craniotomy.
• 32:13
  I hope you'll join me in wishing her a good recovery
• 32:15
  and clarity of mind as she decides on her next steps for treatment.
• 32:19
  If you want to follow her on social media, you can find her at
• 32:23
  theamandamelby on Instagram or amandakmelby on TikTok.
• 32:29
  As always, thank you to the producer, Chris Rock.
• 32:32
  What a gift it is to do this work with you.
• 32:35
  On a personal note, as I'm recording this, my uncle Jesse is coming to the end of his life.
• 32:41
  So I want to honor his life and the loss that I and all of my family will feel.
• 32:45
  I also know that this loss will be particularly hard for my mom.
• 32:49
  So mom, I'm sorry and I love you.
• 32:53
  Thank you all for listening.
• 32:55
  Hold your people close.
• 32:56
  Life is precious and shorter than we realize.
• 33:01
  This is Dying to Tell You.