Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 228. Amanda Kloots, Talk Show Host & Best-Selling Author

Transcript

228. Amanda Kloots, Talk Show Host & Best-Selling Author · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: You know the twists and turns of life. You go
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Speaker 1: upside down, you go really fast, you go really slow.
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Speaker 1: It's life is a roller coaster.
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Speaker 2: Hold on tight, Hey, everybody, Emily Avadi here. You are
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Speaker 2: listening to episode two and twenty eight A Hurdle, a
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Speaker 2: wellness focused podcast. Reconnect with everyone from your favorite athletes
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Speaker 2: to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs,
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Speaker 2: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through
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Speaker 2: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is
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Speaker 2: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with
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Speaker 2: intention so that you can stride towards your own big
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Speaker 2: potential and of course have some fun along the way.
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Speaker 2: For episode two hundred and twenty eight, I am chatting
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Speaker 2: with Amanda Clutes.
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Speaker 3: To say that I have been.
1:01
Speaker 2: Going after this combo for a while would be an understatement.
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Speaker 2: I'm so so happy to finally have Amanda on the
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Speaker 2: show and we are chatting about it all. We're chatting
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Speaker 2: about how she got into the fitness industry while simultaneously
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Speaker 2: going after her big dreams performing on Broadway. She also
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Speaker 2: chats about the decision for her and her late husband
1:24
Speaker 2: Nick Cordero to move out to Los Angeles despite loving
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Speaker 2: it here in.
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Speaker 3: New York, to chase some big dreams.
1:31
Speaker 2: Now, if you know Amanda's story, you know that shortly
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Speaker 2: after moving to Los Angeles with their new baby, Elvis,
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Speaker 2: her husband Nick went into the hospital at the beginning
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Speaker 2: of COVID and unfortunately never made it out. And so
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Speaker 2: we talk about that today. We talk about what it's
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Speaker 2: been like for Amanda to take on life as a
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Speaker 2: single mother, navigating grief, and also the escalation of her
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Speaker 2: career as more and more her eyes came on her
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Speaker 2: and her story.
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Speaker 3: With everything that was going on with Nick.
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Speaker 2: We also talk about how she keeps on keeping on,
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Speaker 2: how she navigates the hardest days with a little, well,
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Speaker 2: let's say, a lot of help from her friends and family,
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Speaker 2: her new movie coming out, and how she loves to
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Speaker 2: use her platform these days for good. I was offered
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Speaker 2: up this interview as a part of her partnership with
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Speaker 2: a brand called Swanson Wheo. The brand makes mental wellness
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Speaker 2: and self care naturceuticals, and to no surprise, Amanda says
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Speaker 2: that she leans in to these products to navigate the
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Speaker 2: ins and outs of her crazy, crazy days. A huge
2:40
Speaker 2: thank you to Amanda for giving me her time. Also,
2:44
Speaker 2: I would be remiss of it I didn't say a huge
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Speaker 2: congratulations to everyone who ran New York City yesterday. I
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Speaker 2: had such a blast cheering you on. Put your feet up,
2:53
Speaker 2: get some rest, and take a break for a little
2:55
Speaker 2: while before setting your next big, crazy Harry audacious goal.
3:02
Speaker 2: Make sure you're falling along with Hurdle. Over at Hurdle podcast.
3:05
Speaker 2: I am over at Emily a body and with that,
3:09
Speaker 2: let's get to it. Let's get to hurdling.
3:24
Speaker 3: Today. I am sitting down with Amanda Clutes. How are
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Speaker 3: you doing today?
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Speaker 4: I'm doing great. How are you doing?
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Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm excited to finally have the opportunity to
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Speaker 3: sit down one on one. I feel like it's been
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Speaker 3: a long time coming, at least for me, and I
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Speaker 3: know that you are a busy woman to get a
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Speaker 3: hold of.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's a busy time right now.
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Speaker 2: To say again that you have a lot going on
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Speaker 2: would be an understatement.
3:51
Speaker 3: Someone is a movie coming out.
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Speaker 4: Yeah to sumber Forth on CBS. It's going to be
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Speaker 4: so fun my Christmas movie.
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Speaker 1: That I filmed this summer, and I'm so excited about it.
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Speaker 3: It wasn't weird thinking Christmas in the summer.
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Speaker 4: You know, actually it really got me in the mood
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Speaker 4: for Christmas. It was really fun.
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Speaker 1: It was you know, you would think that it would
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Speaker 1: be weird, but I think it was. It was actually
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Speaker 1: really I'm going to say weirdly inspiring to get excited
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Speaker 1: for the holiday, only because I'm sorry to like go
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Speaker 1: dark for like two seconds, but the last two Christmases
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Speaker 1: were really hard for me and I you know, as
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Speaker 1: the holidays even approach, like you just it's hard because
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Speaker 1: they're not what you used to love. And so doing
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Speaker 1: the Christmas Movie, I remember being on a set being like,
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Speaker 1: this is really getting me excited for the holidays, and
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Speaker 1: it felt really good to be excited for the holiday
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Speaker 1: instead of anticipating it with anxiety.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, what I'm hearing you say is that this is
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Speaker 2: a shift, for sure from what you've been dealing with
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Speaker 2: over the past couple of years since the loss of
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Speaker 2: your husband. What else would you say right now you're
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Speaker 2: looking forward to as the year kind of is coming
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Speaker 2: to an.
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Speaker 1: End, you know, I think right now it's just been
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Speaker 1: a super exciting time of like creating and seeing like
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Speaker 1: dreams come to life a bit. So I would just say,
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Speaker 1: like more of that. I'm really like that is what
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Speaker 1: fuels me emily, Like, I get so excited when I
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Speaker 1: think of an awesome idea in my head and I
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Speaker 1: can collaborate with people and then help it and see
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Speaker 1: it come into fruition. It like just like gets my
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Speaker 1: energy going. So I'm excited for all of that.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that idea of dreams come to life.
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Speaker 2: And I think that's why I have admired you a
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Speaker 2: bit from afar for so long now. I was, I'm
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Speaker 2: just so impressed with your attitude toward innovation despite hardship, right,
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Speaker 2: And I know that that has been just so impressive
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Speaker 2: for me to see you persist and continue on despite
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Speaker 2: the hurdles that you've faced. Ideas still come and invention
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Speaker 2: still happens, and you've really been focused on on that,
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Speaker 2: and I think it's really beautiful.
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Speaker 4: Oh well, thank you.
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Speaker 1: And I think, honestly, that's if I look back at
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Speaker 1: my life, that's like the years being on Broadway. I
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Speaker 1: think Broadway trains you for so many things in life.
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Speaker 1: And I think it's just like it's a hard lifestyle.
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Speaker 1: It's a hard thing to keep on doing and not
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Speaker 1: give up, and like it just teaches your resilience because
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Speaker 1: you get told no so many times, and you're constantly
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Speaker 1: around people that are amazingly talented a lot more so
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Speaker 1: than you, and you have to figure out your little
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Speaker 1: way in it all, and then you have to, like
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Speaker 1: you know, figure out how to live that lifestyle and succeed.
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Speaker 1: So I think it's I think it's those years of
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Speaker 1: Broadway training to have like really prepared me for everything
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Speaker 1: in life.
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Speaker 2: Well, we don't need to do a complete deep dive
7:07
Speaker 2: into the past, but you did bring up Broadway and
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Speaker 2: that is also what kind of segued you into fitness.
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Speaker 2: So could you give us a little insight as to
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Speaker 2: when you knew that dancing was something that you wanted
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Speaker 2: to do on any sort of a professional level.
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Speaker 4: I do.
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Speaker 1: I remember the exact moment in time. I was doing
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Speaker 1: Fiddler on the Roof. I was in sixth grade, but
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Speaker 1: it was the high school production. They asked children from
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Speaker 1: the middle school to be a part of the high
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Speaker 1: school production because Fiddler on the Roof is all about
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Speaker 1: family and they needed to round out the high schoolers
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Speaker 1: with some kids. So they like asked five or six
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Speaker 1: of us that were in this dance program at my
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Speaker 1: middle school and we were doing.
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Speaker 4: The dress rehearsal. We were singing the first song in
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Speaker 4: the musical, which is tradition.
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Speaker 1: I raised my arms up to do the choreography. This
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Speaker 1: feeling came over me and I was like, I want
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Speaker 1: to do this for the rest of my life.
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Speaker 4: And that's what I knew.
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Speaker 3: You still have a soft spot for Fiddler on the Roof.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I always love a soft spot for
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Speaker 1: that musical and that specific song.
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Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, And then you mentioned, you know, the hardships
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Speaker 2: that come hand in hand with being on Broadway. When
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Speaker 2: I ask you perhaps about one of the biggest hurdles
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Speaker 2: that you had to navigate during that time of hitting
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Speaker 2: the pavement, pounding the pavement, trying out for gigs, does
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Speaker 2: anything specific come to mind?
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Speaker 4: You know, it's just a it's a rollercoaster. It is.
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Speaker 1: You're on the highest high when you are in a
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Speaker 1: Broadway show and you're going to work every night at
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Speaker 1: your Broadway theater, and that family, that cast becomes your family,
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Speaker 1: and you you know, you walk outside every night and
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Speaker 1: there's a crowd that's.
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Speaker 4: Like cheering for you, and you're like, no pictures.
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Speaker 1: You know, it's like and then you're going out with
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Speaker 1: your cast at night and you're having drinks the show
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Speaker 1: and like it is such a high.
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Speaker 4: It is so fun. That Broadway community is so amazing
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Speaker 4: and fun. But then a.
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Speaker 1: Bad review comes out, or you're not making enough money
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Speaker 1: and your show closes, and on a dime, it stops,
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Speaker 1: and you lose your paycheck, you lose your health care,
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Speaker 1: you lose your family, you lose everything that you've been
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Speaker 1: doing religiously because that schedule is a religion, and you
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Speaker 1: have to do it every single.
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Speaker 4: Day, no weekends, no holidays.
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Speaker 1: And then you're unemployed and you're back to unemployment, which
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Speaker 1: is four hundred dollars a week in New York City.
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Speaker 1: It was at the time that I was doing Broadway,
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Speaker 1: and it is a complete life shift. Like you are
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Speaker 1: on the high of the hill and then you get
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Speaker 1: shoop and you drop down to nothing and you have
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Speaker 1: to go back to those auditions and back to those
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Speaker 1: cattle calls, and like that's what I'm saying.
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Speaker 4: It just prepares you for anything and.
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Speaker 3: Everything, anything and everything.
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Speaker 2: I know you met Nick when you were on Broadway
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Speaker 2: in Bullets over Broadway. Just so crazy to think about
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Speaker 2: how much has happened since then, and I remember listening
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Speaker 2: to you on a podcast talking about your decision to
10:13
Speaker 2: move to Los Angeles. Another curve ball that wasn't exactly
10:17
Speaker 2: in the cards for you for a while.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, No, I fought him on that one for a
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Speaker 4: good long time. It was like a year. I mean, it.
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Speaker 1: Wasn't that I didn't want to move to LA I've
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Speaker 1: always wanted to live in LA It's just the time
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Speaker 1: of our lives. It was a bit of a crazy
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Speaker 1: time where I was on a jorney lead and Nick
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Speaker 1: hadn't been working. He was going through a little bit
10:38
Speaker 1: of an unemployment drought, and so we were having a
10:42
Speaker 1: new baby and we both kind of like were not
10:45
Speaker 1: working a lot.
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Speaker 4: And my parents were across the hall.
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Speaker 1: My two sisters lived in New York City, So we
10:51
Speaker 1: had all this like built in help and all of
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Speaker 1: our contacts, and you know, my fitness business was there.
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Speaker 1: Was just like everything was there, and he wanted to
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Speaker 1: pick us up and move across the country away from
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Speaker 1: all of that to pursue his music career and at
11:07
Speaker 1: the same time take a job that paid barely anything
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Speaker 1: that he had done for years before. So it just like,
11:15
Speaker 1: in my head, did not make any sense. At the time,
11:19
Speaker 1: and I fought him on it and came to La
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Speaker 1: kicking and screaming.
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Speaker 3: To be honest, how did it feel once you got there?
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Speaker 4: Terrible? Actually I cried every day I did. I'm not lying.
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Speaker 4: It was really really hard.
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Speaker 1: We were living with our best friend, but when a
11:35
Speaker 1: very small guest house because he was redoing his house,
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Speaker 1: and I felt really alone. Nick would go to work
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Speaker 1: on his music a lot every day or rehearse, and
11:46
Speaker 1: so I was alone.
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Speaker 4: With Elvis, who was only three months old.
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Speaker 1: I was trying to rebuild my fitness business here, but
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Speaker 1: the same time I didn't have the amount of time
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Speaker 1: and energy that I did in New York to build
11:57
Speaker 1: it because I was a new mom with a three
11:59
Speaker 1: month it was breastfeeding, so it was it was really hard.
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Speaker 1: I was teaching like two classes a week, but nobody
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Speaker 1: was coming. I had like one or two people in
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Speaker 1: my class, so I felt like a failure on top
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Speaker 1: of like not really knowing, you know, motherhood yet. So
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Speaker 1: I was a bit in a good postpartum depression. It
12:19
Speaker 1: was not good, actually I was. It took a very
12:21
Speaker 1: long time to feel comfortable here.
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Speaker 2: What would you say you leaned into to get you
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Speaker 2: through that time, because as we know, things kind of
12:34
Speaker 2: only got harder from there. So at first in this
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Speaker 2: new place with a young baby, feeling really alone your
12:41
Speaker 2: family back on the East Coast, how did you get
12:45
Speaker 2: through that part?
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Speaker 1: You know? I think again this comes back to like
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Speaker 1: that ups and downs that I know about life so
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Speaker 1: easily from years of Broadway. It's like there's a part
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Speaker 1: of me that always knows and I and I know
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Speaker 1: this through like all the struggles in my life, that
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Speaker 1: like it's hard right now, but it won't be hard forever.
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Speaker 1: And like I think there's just like a part of
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Speaker 1: me that knows that deep down inside.
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Speaker 4: Whenever I'm going.
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Speaker 1: Through a really hard situation, I just I keep telling
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Speaker 1: myself like it's hard right now, but it won't be
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Speaker 1: like this forever.
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Speaker 4: And I just keep pushing.
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Speaker 1: And I know that if I like grind and like
13:26
Speaker 1: every day put in that hustle, that the reward will
13:29
Speaker 1: eventually come.
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Speaker 2: So many people going through tough moments now look to
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Speaker 2: you and see your resiliency. Do you think that this
13:38
Speaker 2: was something that was nurtured in you from a young
13:40
Speaker 2: age or do you think that this has just been
13:42
Speaker 2: a skill acquired over time from as you said that
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Speaker 2: time on Broadway and then beyond, I.
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Speaker 4: Think a little bit of both. I remember watching my
13:51
Speaker 4: dad as a little girl.
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Speaker 1: My dad like worked his way up from an insurance
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Speaker 1: salesman to owning the company that he worked at and
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Speaker 1: becoming like the head there.
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Speaker 4: And I just remember.
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Speaker 1: Seeing, you know, like things you track as like a
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Speaker 1: little girl that you don't really understand, and then later
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Speaker 1: in life you're like, oh wow, I bet like my
14:10
Speaker 1: work ethic comes to my dad because he worked every
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Speaker 1: single day of his life. Every Saturday he was at
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Speaker 1: the office. He would take us to the office. He
14:19
Speaker 1: just was setting I think in a fantastic example for
14:25
Speaker 1: the kids and my family, like you know, the.
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Speaker 4: Family, my family.
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Speaker 1: And then I think by living out my dreams and
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Speaker 1: moving to New York City, that then put those you know,
14:37
Speaker 1: work ethic values whatever to you know, the test, and
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Speaker 1: so that it like got stronger there.
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Speaker 3: Got stronger there.
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Speaker 2: And so you moved to LA and your fitness business
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Speaker 2: pivots a little bit. Talk to us about what made
14:50
Speaker 2: you decide to get into your niche of the fitness business,
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Speaker 2: because it's not every day that someone says, you know,
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Speaker 2: what I'm gonna do I'm going.
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Speaker 3: To pick up a jump rope and lead with that.
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Speaker 1: Well, when I started my fitness business, I was back
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Speaker 1: in New York and it was just kind of I
15:06
Speaker 1: was going through a really hard time in my life.
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Speaker 4: My Broadway show that I was in closed.
15:13
Speaker 1: I was also going through a divorce from a previous
15:16
Speaker 1: marriage where I'd been married for seven years, and I
15:19
Speaker 1: felt completely lost, and I just was like looking at
15:23
Speaker 1: my life and I thought, you know, if I stay
15:25
Speaker 1: on this path of performing, you know, it's such an
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Speaker 1: up and down.
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Speaker 4: Like I told you before, it's this roller coaster, and
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Speaker 4: I now am all alone.
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Speaker 1: I don't have a support of a spouse that if
15:36
Speaker 1: I am, you know, on unemployment, I have my husband
15:40
Speaker 1: to kind of like fall back on, and I have
15:42
Speaker 1: to now afford my own apartment. And I just like
15:45
Speaker 1: started looking at my life and just being like, what
15:48
Speaker 1: do I what do I want in life?
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Speaker 4: Do I want to be like living like this for
15:53
Speaker 4: the rest of my life?
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Speaker 1: And I thought, no, I don't so and I also
15:57
Speaker 1: just got I got to a point where I got
15:59
Speaker 1: a little bit sick and tired of people telling me
16:02
Speaker 1: when I could work. You know, when you're a performer,
16:04
Speaker 1: you audition and they tell you when you can work,
16:06
Speaker 1: when you have a job, when you don't have a job,
16:09
Speaker 1: you know, all those things. So I got sick of it,
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Speaker 1: and that's when I decided to pivot and become a
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Speaker 1: fitness entrepreneur and start my own business. And it was
16:17
Speaker 1: honestly one of the best things I've ever done in
16:19
Speaker 1: my life, because it really I've never worked harder in
16:23
Speaker 1: my entire life than starting that business. But it just
16:27
Speaker 1: it just taught me again that like if I put
16:30
Speaker 1: my own muscle behind something, I can see something build
16:34
Speaker 1: and see the reward from it. And for the first
16:36
Speaker 1: time I did have control of my life, and I
16:38
Speaker 1: absolutely it was.
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Speaker 4: It was so thrilling.
16:41
Speaker 1: And you know, the jump rope it was fun because
16:44
Speaker 1: it was something that I created that I believed in,
16:46
Speaker 1: and you know, at the time, nobody was doing it
16:50
Speaker 1: every you know, all these boutique fitness studios, nobody had
16:52
Speaker 1: a jump rope class. So it was great because it
16:55
Speaker 1: was something that I created that was nowhere else. So
16:58
Speaker 1: really got you know eventually, not at first, but eventually
17:01
Speaker 1: got a lot of buzz and became a bit of
17:04
Speaker 1: a thing. So that was fun.
17:06
Speaker 3: That was fun.
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Speaker 2: It is so admirable to hear you talk about being
17:10
Speaker 2: able to kind of create your own security, and this
17:14
Speaker 2: also translates, or will transition us into the conversation about
17:19
Speaker 2: what it is like for you to navigate life now
17:22
Speaker 2: as a single mom. I'm sure you get messages from
17:26
Speaker 2: so many women who admire your sense of not only
17:29
Speaker 2: resiliency as we've talked about, but also independence and just
17:34
Speaker 2: figuring out how to make it work. So, firstly, on
17:38
Speaker 2: that note, how do you feel lately?
17:40
Speaker 1: Oh? Gosh, well, I'm feeling okay. October is a lot
17:45
Speaker 1: better than September. September was a hard month for some reason.
17:50
Speaker 1: I don't know what was going on. Your career was
17:52
Speaker 1: in retrograde apparently, but like it was just a tough month,
17:54
Speaker 1: and October has felt a bit better. So hopefully we'll
17:58
Speaker 1: just keep writing it out the end of the year
18:00
Speaker 1: gets better and better.
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Speaker 4: It's tough, it's hard. I'm not gonna lie.
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Speaker 1: I am an independent person, even in a relationship.
18:08
Speaker 4: I tend to be still independent.
18:10
Speaker 1: I like feeling like I can taken care of myself.
18:17
Speaker 1: I always have, and I enjoy working. I love working,
18:20
Speaker 1: I love having jobs. I love creating, so that always
18:24
Speaker 1: makes me feel good. But you know, being a single
18:28
Speaker 1: parent is really tough, especially when you don't plan on
18:31
Speaker 1: being a single parent. You know, it's hard with Elvis.
18:34
Speaker 1: He's three now. He is the cutest thing in the
18:37
Speaker 1: entire world, and he is doing all these things that
18:41
Speaker 1: you just wish that your partner could also see and
18:46
Speaker 1: be a part of. And so I think, like right now,
18:50
Speaker 1: being a single parent is it's that it's like constantly
18:55
Speaker 1: doing these things and being around him and not having
18:59
Speaker 1: your person to share it with is like excruciatingly hard
19:03
Speaker 1: day after day after day because he just keeps.
19:04
Speaker 4: Doing cuter and cuter things. So it's tough. It's tough.
19:08
Speaker 1: The balance, funning is hard, the multitasking is extremely hard.
19:12
Speaker 1: Finding help all the time, all the time I need
19:15
Speaker 1: help is very very hard.
19:18
Speaker 4: It's yeah, it's not easy.
19:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can totally understand why that would be so challenging.
19:25
Speaker 2: And for you to still, despite that challenge, seek opportunity
19:31
Speaker 2: for yourself is really beautiful to support your family, which
19:36
Speaker 2: I know that you've faced some backlash about in the past.
19:39
Speaker 2: What do you say to those people that just don't
19:40
Speaker 2: seem to understand that priority for you, that priority of
19:44
Speaker 2: establishing yourself and having this career while taking care of
19:48
Speaker 2: your son.
19:49
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Well listen, if I don't have a career,
19:52
Speaker 1: I can't take care of my son. So you know, also,
19:55
Speaker 1: I think that to be a great parent you have
19:58
Speaker 1: to be a great person first. You know.
20:01
Speaker 4: If when I'm happy, then I'm a better mom to Elvis.
20:05
Speaker 1: And what makes me happy, like I said, is working,
20:09
Speaker 1: is creating feeling a sense of that independence, you know,
20:13
Speaker 1: and that I can do something. It makes me feel
20:16
Speaker 1: like I can provide for him and that I can
20:19
Speaker 1: take care of him and then us and then you know,
20:21
Speaker 1: give us, you know, awesome opportunities, you know, to do
20:26
Speaker 1: things together and make memories and listen, you know, I
20:31
Speaker 1: would not be making Nick proud if I didn't, you know,
20:36
Speaker 1: try to be an incredible human being every day. So
20:39
Speaker 1: I just I always think of that. Like I know
20:42
Speaker 1: Nick would be like, you better go do these things.
20:44
Speaker 1: You better go, like make your dreams come true, Like
20:48
Speaker 1: he would want nothing more.
20:49
Speaker 5: So I don't really listen to any kind of haters.
20:52
Speaker 5: To be honest, I ain't that the truth. You know,
20:55
Speaker 5: you said, a happy Amanda is the best Amanda. What
20:58
Speaker 5: does a happy Amanda like oh gosh.
21:02
Speaker 1: A happy Amanda looks like I've probably done a few
21:09
Speaker 1: things in the day and given myself at least an
21:12
Speaker 1: hour to work out. Fitness every day is like something
21:16
Speaker 1: that will always make me happy. And then spending time
21:19
Speaker 1: with Elvis obviously.
21:21
Speaker 4: And yeah, just I think, I think, just live in life.
21:26
Speaker 1: I love getting out of the house and living and
21:29
Speaker 1: experiencing things and going on adventures and having fun and laughing.
21:35
Speaker 2: Aside from an hour of fitness, what else is in
21:40
Speaker 2: your self care routine? How do you take care of you?
21:42
Speaker 2: How do you nourish your body? Talk to me about that.
21:45
Speaker 4: You know, It's kind of different all the time, based
21:48
Speaker 4: on what I need. You know, sometimes I need to
21:52
Speaker 4: take an hour and go get a massage. Sometimes I
21:55
Speaker 4: need to take a nap.
21:58
Speaker 1: Sometimes I need to have, you know, a coffee or
22:01
Speaker 1: a dinner with a you know, best friend. I think
22:04
Speaker 1: I've just gotten really good at listening to my body.
22:06
Speaker 1: I think that's what it is. Like. I think we
22:09
Speaker 1: all just need to like do a check in on
22:11
Speaker 1: ourselves and like, what is it that I need today
22:13
Speaker 1: in order to make myself happy for today Tomorrow?
22:18
Speaker 4: It might be a different equation, you know.
22:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
22:21
Speaker 2: And so what I'm also hearing you say is that
22:24
Speaker 2: this like self care, this wellness practice is not just outside,
22:29
Speaker 2: it's inside as well.
22:30
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, I think so.
22:32
Speaker 1: I mean if you're like like like specifically, like if
22:37
Speaker 1: I'm having like a very like anxious anxiety day, like
22:40
Speaker 1: I know, I need to go work out because I
22:42
Speaker 1: need to like exert that energy. I need to stop
22:46
Speaker 1: thinking of whatever is making me anxious and like go,
22:50
Speaker 1: you know, jump it out or punch it out or
22:52
Speaker 1: dance it out, whatever it is. And I always feel better.
22:55
Speaker 1: But like if I'm having like brain fog and I'm
22:59
Speaker 1: like can't even think, like I know I need to
23:02
Speaker 1: like lay down or get a good night's sleep. I
23:04
Speaker 1: mean I think it's all just like chucking in with
23:06
Speaker 1: yourself from head to toe. It's sleep, it's exercise, it's
23:11
Speaker 1: and it's spending time with my little guy. That's really
23:15
Speaker 1: like giving back to myself right now, Hugging him, cuddling
23:18
Speaker 1: with him. I mean yesterday we just like cuddle on
23:22
Speaker 1: the couch and took like a three hour nap together,
23:24
Speaker 1: and it was like I woke up and I was like,
23:26
Speaker 1: I'm good.
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Speaker 2: you were saying also about like every month being a
27:32
Speaker 2: little bit different as it comes to like navigating the
27:35
Speaker 2: day to day, especially with grief. I mean, for someone
27:39
Speaker 2: else who may be experiencing grief of any kind, do
27:42
Speaker 2: you have any advice to them when it comes to
27:44
Speaker 2: having grace with yourself and processing that?
27:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh my god, it's a never ending battle.
27:49
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean if I look at September, September is
27:53
Speaker 1: our wedding anniversary, it's Nick's birthday, it's back to school,
27:58
Speaker 1: it's back to work. So I look at that month
28:01
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, it's hard. Like, you know, people
28:05
Speaker 1: don't understand like grief. Even even dropping Elvis off at school,
28:12
Speaker 1: you walk in and you see other you know, either
28:17
Speaker 1: families dropping off their kids together or a dad giving
28:21
Speaker 1: their kid a hug and dropping off their child together,
28:24
Speaker 1: and you see Elvis clock the dad giving the little
28:29
Speaker 1: girl a hug, and you're like, it's instant like hit
28:35
Speaker 1: with grief. And you drop the kid off and I
28:38
Speaker 1: turned the corner and I immediately start crying, and I'm
28:41
Speaker 1: crying all the way to work because he'll never have
28:45
Speaker 1: his dad drop him off at school.
28:47
Speaker 4: You know, it's like it's not a thing that ever
28:50
Speaker 4: goes away.
28:51
Speaker 1: And I think that's what I don't think people understand
28:55
Speaker 1: about grief. And I think when you initially something like
28:59
Speaker 1: this happens to you, when you lose a husband or
29:01
Speaker 1: a wife, or a child or even a parent, you
29:05
Speaker 1: don't even understand that at first, you don't even understand
29:08
Speaker 1: that like in years to come, you're going to have
29:11
Speaker 1: these things that hit you all the time because it's
29:14
Speaker 1: a new experience. For instance, I always say grief is
29:17
Speaker 1: an onion, and it's every time, you know, when you're
29:20
Speaker 1: cooking with an onion, you cut off a new.
29:22
Speaker 4: Layer of annion or peel an onion, you start to cry.
29:25
Speaker 4: It's the same thing. Grief is like this onion that
29:28
Speaker 4: will have you'll have your entire life.
29:30
Speaker 1: And every time a new situation comes up that you
29:34
Speaker 1: don't expect. It's like you peel off a new layer
29:37
Speaker 1: and it makes you cry. It's why grief never really
29:39
Speaker 1: goes away.
29:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And you know there has been let's say
29:45
Speaker 2: a few blessings at least as you've navigated your grief,
29:49
Speaker 2: for sure. And I know that you always do choose
29:52
Speaker 2: to look for the bright side in things for you
29:56
Speaker 2: as you've experienced so many me things over the last
30:01
Speaker 2: couple of years now being an author of course, having
30:04
Speaker 2: this new platform on the talk and coming into your
30:07
Speaker 2: own in this new phase, what would you say has
30:11
Speaker 2: kind of been the brightest light for you on this journey.
30:14
Speaker 1: Right off the top of my head, probably one of
30:16
Speaker 1: the brightest lights was being able to do dancing with
30:19
Speaker 1: the stars. That was such a healing experience for me
30:25
Speaker 1: in many ways that I never expected. I knew I
30:27
Speaker 1: would love it. I knew I would love dancing again.
30:30
Speaker 1: I knew I would love performing again. I knew all
30:33
Speaker 1: of that. I didn't know that I would it would
30:37
Speaker 1: help me process a lot of my grief. I did
30:40
Speaker 1: not expect that. I didn't expect in dancing with Alan
30:45
Speaker 1: every single day, to get comfortable around another man again,
30:51
Speaker 1: you know, just being with a man every single day,
30:54
Speaker 1: laughing and hugging and and you know, having inside jokes
30:58
Speaker 1: and doing things together, and you know, we became like
31:02
Speaker 1: best friends, and it was so wonderful to be around
31:07
Speaker 1: that male energy.
31:09
Speaker 4: Again.
31:09
Speaker 1: I hadn't had that in my life since Snick past,
31:12
Speaker 1: and I didn't understand how badly I missed it and
31:16
Speaker 1: needed it in order to heal. So it was just
31:19
Speaker 1: like and to be able to dance out, dance to
31:22
Speaker 1: Nick's song and dance out my grief. I remember the
31:24
Speaker 1: morning I woke up after performing Live Your Life on
31:28
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars. I woke up that next morning
31:31
Speaker 1: and I literally felt like a twenty pound weight had
31:34
Speaker 1: been lifted off my shoulders. And that was after writing
31:38
Speaker 1: With Your Life, and after doing all those interviews, and
31:40
Speaker 1: after doing the audio book.
31:42
Speaker 4: Literally thinking wow, like I have really processed this grief
31:46
Speaker 4: and this trauma, and then to dance it was.
31:49
Speaker 1: Like I finally gave my body like the last exertion
31:53
Speaker 1: of like not that that grief ever goes away, but
31:56
Speaker 1: like it was like this last like internal grief that
31:59
Speaker 1: I like got out of my body. It was insane.
32:03
Speaker 1: That show was such a blessing. I wish I could
32:06
Speaker 1: do it every year.
32:10
Speaker 3: Clearly so many more.
32:11
Speaker 2: Let's say, like eyeballs on you over the last few years,
32:15
Speaker 2: how would you say that navigating that has been for you?
32:19
Speaker 1: You know, honestly, I have to say that has been
32:22
Speaker 1: a blessing because one of the things I have learned
32:24
Speaker 1: through this journey is that we really have to share
32:29
Speaker 1: our stories because in sharing your story, you really help
32:34
Speaker 1: other people. And now you know, being such a sharer
32:38
Speaker 1: of my story, when people come to me and ask
32:43
Speaker 1: me for advice or share their stories with me, it
32:46
Speaker 1: helps me too, like I'm learning from them as well
32:50
Speaker 1: in helping me and helping them and helping myself. It's like,
32:54
Speaker 1: the more we tell each other our stories, it only
32:57
Speaker 1: helps each other.
32:58
Speaker 4: If you keep something in eats you alive.
33:00
Speaker 1: You have to share it, and in sharing it helps people,
33:04
Speaker 1: it helps you give back. It's like being a teacher.
33:07
Speaker 1: When you teach something you know, you end up learning
33:10
Speaker 1: so much. So Yeah, it's it's actually been a really
33:13
Speaker 1: big blessing.
33:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, And having this platform not only to speak only
33:17
Speaker 2: about the things that you're passionate about, but then also
33:20
Speaker 2: support causes, brands, et cetera.
33:23
Speaker 3: You know, it really does kind of shift the game
33:25
Speaker 3: a bit.
33:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, It's it's been wonderful, Like everything that has
33:31
Speaker 1: that has come my way has been so fun and
33:34
Speaker 1: so organic, like it just like a nice organic fit
33:38
Speaker 1: and connection.
33:39
Speaker 2: Recently you started working with Swanson Wellness Inside and Out.
33:43
Speaker 2: They sent me a box long ago of all of
33:46
Speaker 2: their stuff that I need to check out.
33:48
Speaker 3: Do you have any themes?
33:49
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, yes I do. I love the self
33:51
Speaker 4: care one. That's just something like I take in the morning.
33:55
Speaker 1: It's just kind of like your general like hits all ticks,
33:58
Speaker 1: all the boxes off of everything. And I keep the
34:02
Speaker 1: magnesium yummies at my desk at the top. They're really
34:05
Speaker 1: great for stress anxiety and just like cognition, they're like
34:09
Speaker 1: some and I love a gummy anything. So what's great
34:12
Speaker 1: about what's great about the sponsor Rio products is they
34:17
Speaker 1: really have something for everyone. And like I said before,
34:21
Speaker 1: how like I don't know for me at least, no
34:25
Speaker 1: one day is the same. And so I love that
34:28
Speaker 1: their product line literally has something for anything that I need.
34:32
Speaker 1: If I need help with sleep, they got it. If
34:34
Speaker 1: I need help with stress, they got it. If it's
34:36
Speaker 1: brain frog, I got it. Like it's it's kind of
34:39
Speaker 1: like you're different kind of you know, whatever you need
34:43
Speaker 1: you can.
34:44
Speaker 2: Find beyond now having all these eyes on you on
34:47
Speaker 2: social Also, being on TV is a pretty different pivot
34:51
Speaker 2: for you. What would you say has been maybe the
34:54
Speaker 2: most challenging part of that because you're doing this in
34:56
Speaker 2: real time.
34:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, it is a live show.
35:00
Speaker 1: Ironically, you know, because I spent so many years on
35:05
Speaker 1: Broadway and did film and TV during that time as well,
35:10
Speaker 1: and then even with my fitness business, I was, you know,
35:13
Speaker 1: on morning television shows a lot. The world of TV
35:17
Speaker 1: wasn't It wasn't too much of a switch for me.
35:20
Speaker 4: It was almost like.
35:22
Speaker 1: In a weird way, felt ironically like a perfect next
35:26
Speaker 1: step from my years of performing and doing bits of
35:30
Speaker 1: you know, film and television that I remember walking on
35:35
Speaker 1: the set and feeling like this oddly feels so wonderful
35:38
Speaker 1: and feels like a family right away. I would say
35:41
Speaker 1: the hardest thing about live TV is just that it
35:44
Speaker 1: is every single day, you know, it's it's a lot
35:46
Speaker 1: of information.
35:48
Speaker 4: Luckily I have a good short term memory.
35:50
Speaker 1: Because it's like a lot of information in your ear,
35:52
Speaker 1: and you kind of just have to be really good
35:54
Speaker 1: about going with the punches and listening and to the
35:58
Speaker 1: person and then responding and making quickly. So that would
36:01
Speaker 1: be the funnest part. But it's it's I really I
36:04
Speaker 1: enjoy it so much. I actually really love it.
36:07
Speaker 2: When you got the call from your agent that they
36:09
Speaker 2: were interested in you coming out to audition for the talk,
36:13
Speaker 2: what was your first thought.
36:15
Speaker 4: Well, that day, yes, I was like, oh okay. I
36:19
Speaker 4: was like, all right, that would be fun.
36:22
Speaker 1: I didn't fully understand that they wanted to test me.
36:25
Speaker 1: So it was more so the next call that he
36:28
Speaker 1: gave me that he was like, okay, they're going to
36:30
Speaker 1: put you on a ten episode contract in you know,
36:36
Speaker 1: to test you to be a co host. That's when
36:38
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, this isn't just like a one
36:41
Speaker 1: time thing. He was like, no, no, no, they are
36:43
Speaker 1: thinking of you to replace you know, Marie Osmond at
36:46
Speaker 1: the time.
36:48
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh my, oh my gosh, okay.
36:51
Speaker 4: And so that was that was the craziness. And then
36:54
Speaker 4: you know when he called with the.
36:56
Speaker 1: Actual you know, job offer, which was like November thirtieth,
37:02
Speaker 1: I remember to this day, that's when I was like
37:05
Speaker 1: freaking out because it was a big life change.
37:08
Speaker 4: I had never had a job that's secure.
37:11
Speaker 1: Before in my entire life, you know, like I said,
37:13
Speaker 1: Broadway was never secure. So this was like a first
37:16
Speaker 1: job that I really felt like, whoa, I have like
37:20
Speaker 1: a steady paycheck that I can you know, really like
37:23
Speaker 1: plan things for my life. And at the time, it
37:27
Speaker 1: was just it gave me such a sense of relief
37:31
Speaker 1: because it was November. Nick had passed away in July,
37:35
Speaker 1: so I was really kind of like really in the
37:37
Speaker 1: first couple months of being a single parent and that
37:40
Speaker 1: fear of like, Okay, I got to make sure that
37:43
Speaker 1: I have a job and that I can provide for
37:46
Speaker 1: my son. And at the time, my only job was
37:51
Speaker 1: my fitness company. So life has really really changed in
37:54
Speaker 1: three years and that job. Getting the talk was like,
37:58
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I feel like I can breathe easy
38:02
Speaker 1: because I will be able. I feel like I know
38:05
Speaker 1: I can take care of my son and and pay
38:08
Speaker 1: for the mortgage on our house and a car payment
38:11
Speaker 1: and and be able to save money.
38:13
Speaker 4: And I was just like, this is such a blessing.
38:17
Speaker 3: It's so beautiful to hear you say that.
38:21
Speaker 2: Because I also think that there may have been a
38:24
Speaker 2: little bit of anxiety on taking that step to being
38:27
Speaker 2: on this next level of a stage, right, Like to
38:31
Speaker 2: think about all of a sudden every day being on
38:34
Speaker 2: live television. It reminds me of that question, that ever
38:38
Speaker 2: lovely question, like what intimidates you or scares you more
38:42
Speaker 2: the fear of failure or the fear of success.
38:45
Speaker 4: I think it's more so the fear of never trying.
38:48
Speaker 1: Oh, Amanda, Yeah, that's I mean, that's sort of how Listen.
38:55
Speaker 1: If the pandemic taught me anything, it's that you have
38:58
Speaker 1: to try. You just have to just you just have
39:00
Speaker 1: to do it. You don't know if you have tomorrow.
39:02
Speaker 1: You don't know what that will bring. You don't know
39:04
Speaker 1: what the next hour brings for your life. So like,
39:07
Speaker 1: my biggest thing is the fear of never trying.
39:10
Speaker 2: Someone comes to your Instagram page, they see a beautiful
39:14
Speaker 2: mama who's also a co host of the Talk. You've
39:16
Speaker 2: got seven hundred and thirty thousand people keeping up with you.
39:20
Speaker 2: When you look in the mirror, What is it that
39:22
Speaker 2: you see looking back at you?
39:24
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, you know, honestly, just like the same girl
39:28
Speaker 1: that you know moved to New York at eighteen and
39:32
Speaker 1: was living in a closet with two other girls that
39:36
Speaker 1: were had cockroaches running around, you know, just trying to
39:40
Speaker 1: learn how to you know, sing, dance and act and
39:42
Speaker 1: hopes to be a Broadway you know star one day.
39:46
Speaker 1: I don't feel any different than that girl. I love
39:52
Speaker 1: a hustle, I love to try. I love to just
39:57
Speaker 1: keep working and keep going for dreams.
40:00
Speaker 4: I'm the same person.
40:02
Speaker 3: You know.
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Speaker 2: It's so funny you said hustle, and it made me
40:05
Speaker 2: think real quickly about your time on Dancing with the Stars,
40:08
Speaker 2: because although you had a dancing background, you were doing
40:11
Speaker 2: so many different kinds of dancing. Did you still feel
40:14
Speaker 2: like that was challenging despite considering yourself a dance veteran.
40:20
Speaker 1: This is what people don't understand about ballroom dancing from
40:23
Speaker 1: what I did so on Broadway, I was considered a
40:27
Speaker 1: show girl. I'm five ten. You put me in a heel.
40:31
Speaker 1: I'm over six feet. I'm never partnered. I'm too tall,
40:34
Speaker 1: like I like. The girls that are partnered in Broadway
40:37
Speaker 1: shows are five four five, you know, they're little. They
40:40
Speaker 1: get tossed around and do lists. I am such an
40:44
Speaker 1: enormous human being on a stage. I'm known for kicking
40:49
Speaker 1: like a rocket or tipping, you know, dancing alone doing
40:53
Speaker 1: my own little thing because I'm a huge, enormous, long.
40:57
Speaker 4: Person, and so dance is the exact opposite of that.
41:02
Speaker 1: It is connected to a partner, surrendering yourself to them
41:07
Speaker 1: and learning all of this footwork and intense like dancing
41:13
Speaker 1: within frame. It is so completely different than everything I
41:18
Speaker 1: had always done. Now, yes, my coordination and way to
41:23
Speaker 1: remember choreography and performance helped, but as far as like
41:28
Speaker 1: learning those dances, they were so hard. I loved it.
41:33
Speaker 1: I loved the challenge of it. But all dancers that
41:37
Speaker 1: have done that show, because I'm not the only one,
41:39
Speaker 1: will tell you the same thing. It's like being a
41:43
Speaker 1: pro tennis player, like Roger Frederer, but then saying to
41:48
Speaker 1: Roger Frederer, here's a jersey, here's a helmet, here's a football.
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Speaker 1: Next Sunday, you're going to be a quarterback and playing
41:55
Speaker 1: for the Rams. And he goes, well, I don't do that.
42:00
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, yeah, you're an athlete, right, you.
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Speaker 4: Can do it. He's like, I play tennis, I don't
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Speaker 4: play football.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're going to do it anyways, and the
42:07
Speaker 1: whole world is going to judge you, and you're going
42:08
Speaker 1: to be.
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Speaker 4: On the field doing it and so get ready. That's
42:12
Speaker 4: dancing with the stars.
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Speaker 1: It's like, just because you're a dancer doesn't mean you
42:17
Speaker 1: know you can tango.
42:19
Speaker 2: So in these moments where you are kind of going
42:21
Speaker 2: outside of your comfort zone, trying new things, often on
42:24
Speaker 2: a grand stage, do you have anything that you come
42:27
Speaker 2: back to and say to yourself to kind of hype
42:29
Speaker 2: yourself up and prepare you to quote unquote go into battle.
42:33
Speaker 4: Oh, like, if I like, if I, if I need
42:35
Speaker 4: to give myself a path, talk like that kind of thing.
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Speaker 1: Well, listen, I when I was auditioning on Broadway, my
42:47
Speaker 1: favorite Bible versus Joshua one nine, it's be strong and
42:51
Speaker 1: very courageous for the Lord, your God is with you
42:52
Speaker 1: wherever you go.
42:53
Speaker 4: And if you.
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Speaker 1: Look in my Bible, you will see next to that
42:57
Speaker 1: verse every audition I ever went on and the date
43:01
Speaker 1: that I went to it. Because before I would leave
43:03
Speaker 1: the house, I would read that verse to myself and
43:05
Speaker 1: write down the audition and the date. And it is
43:08
Speaker 1: still something that I say to myself right before I
43:11
Speaker 1: walk into anything that I am probably freaking out internally about.
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Speaker 4: I just say that verse and always calms me down.
43:19
Speaker 3: That's so special.
43:19
Speaker 2: Would you say that your relationship with faith has evolved
43:23
Speaker 2: or shifted over the last few years, Yes.
43:26
Speaker 4: So much so.
43:27
Speaker 1: In fact, I miss how connected I was to my
43:31
Speaker 1: faith during the pandemic. I have never felt like stronger
43:36
Speaker 1: in my beliefs and faith than I did when I
43:40
Speaker 1: was going through everything with COVID and Nick.
43:43
Speaker 4: I actually like really missed that connection that I had.
43:46
Speaker 2: Well, I'm so happy that we were able to at
43:49
Speaker 2: least carve out a little bit of time to talk today.
43:51
Speaker 2: And I think I can say on behalf of many
43:54
Speaker 2: people listening to this that your voice is truly so
43:57
Speaker 2: impactful and through sharing your struggle and exactly as you
44:01
Speaker 2: articulated sharing your story, you've truly just been able to
44:04
Speaker 2: help so many others as they navigate their hurdles as well.
44:09
Speaker 4: Thank you, Emily, that's very sweet.
44:11
Speaker 2: If you thank you right now, you have an opportunity
44:14
Speaker 2: to offer yourself a piece of advice going through back
44:19
Speaker 2: during your hardest moments during the pandemic, losing your husband.
44:23
Speaker 2: You have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of
44:24
Speaker 2: advice looking back on that time.
44:26
Speaker 3: Now, what do you tell yourself?
44:28
Speaker 1: Oh, gosh, I would tell myself it's so funny. I
44:36
Speaker 1: never do well with these questions because I always I'm
44:39
Speaker 1: kind of a person that tries not to look back
44:42
Speaker 1: at what I could have changed, or what I could
44:45
Speaker 1: have regrets or anything.
44:47
Speaker 4: Not that you're saying your regrets, but.
44:49
Speaker 1: I think I think in general, I would just say
44:54
Speaker 1: life is a rollercoaster. You gotta, you know, hold on
44:58
Speaker 1: to the bars, and you know, when you're going down
45:04
Speaker 1: the hill, you got to hold on really tight. And
45:06
Speaker 1: when you get up top, you put your hands up
45:08
Speaker 1: and you let it go.
45:09
Speaker 4: You know.
45:10
Speaker 1: It's it's like, you know, the twists and turns of life.
45:13
Speaker 1: You go upside down, you go really fast, you go
45:15
Speaker 1: really slow. It's life is a roller coaster. Hold on tight.
45:19
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Well, thank you so much for coming
45:21
Speaker 2: on the show today. How do the hurdlers follow along
45:24
Speaker 2: with you? How do they keep up with you? Give
45:26
Speaker 2: me the detail.
45:26
Speaker 4: Follow me on Instagram at Amanda Klutes. That's where I
45:30
Speaker 4: am most active. I have all the other ones, but
45:33
Speaker 4: I don't really do those.
45:36
Speaker 1: Check out my movie on December fourth and for Christmas.
45:39
Speaker 4: That'll be fun and all those good things.
45:42
Speaker 2: All those good things. I'm over at Emily Body and
45:44
Speaker 2: at Hurdle Podcast. Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.