Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / BDP is NOT!!! Bi-Polar

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BDP is NOT!!! Bi-Polar · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. peter: but Pete: went to doing like pre-recordings. Well, Keith, we're at the part of the interview where I'm gonna ask you those two questions. All right, Amanda Landes: that I had been kind of like since head for a while about about writing the story because Mia Mason: you are not the only one that experiences thoughts, Pete "mental Health Champ": Well, Dr. Erica, before we start wrapping up, I'm going to ask you Pete "mental health champ": Welcome into another exciting episode of P for Anxiety. Guys, before we get started, as always, we gotta give shout out to my partners over at PsychPal. Link will be in the description of the episode. Guys, just click it. Seven-day free trial. you know, you get that 10%, you get that 20% off. I'm sorry, I almost said 10, 20% off your first month. We use Pete at checkout. With that being said, my guest today is the author of Sadie's favorite. You can find her at Instagram at bpdbeautiful.blog. The one the only Sarah Rose is here. Sarah, how are you doing today? Sarah Rose: Hi, I'm doing really well. How are you? Pete "mental health champ": Doing great. Sarah, so why don't you tell everybody a little bit more about yourself and then we'll get into everything else? Sarah Rose: Well, on top of writing Sadie's favorite, I'm the creator of BPD Beautiful. That's bpdbeautiful.com. We're mostly just like a self-help resource hub. we have, you know, blogs. We post a lot of blogs. We try to create like easy to digest recovery content for people who have borderline personality disorder. And I started that in twenty nineteen after I was diagnosed with BPD after about eight years of therapy and then with an additional like six years of therapy on top of that I went into remission and here, here I am. Pete "mental health champ": No, Sarah, BPD is not a new subject here on the show. We've had a few people come in. We have some experts that came in. So twenty nineteen, when you decide to start this project, what was your original idea behind it? Was it just you wanted people to know more about BPD or try and find other people that you could connect to with the same diagnosis? Sarah Rose: it was really when I got diagnosed, I I I was in therapy already and I wanted to kind of find some like supplemental help for myself to use like to help me recover and I couldn't really find anything at the time. Now, you know, social media is saturated with content about it, but at the time there Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: was really nothing. So I kind of started the blog to document my own treatment and maybe help someone else. And then it's it's grown over the last six six, seven years. so that's really how it started was just kind of documenting my treatment and then we've we've taken it from there. Pete "mental health champ": Well, that's really cool though, because I know with BPD a lot of people didn't know what it is or they don't really understand it, you know. I see a lot of it though because I dated somebody with BPD. So like a lot of my TikTok algorithm would feed me these things. So she would send me stuff and teach me more about it, and things like that too. I know we've had Dr. Jen Bellinger, she's an expert in the area of BTD. She came on the show too. And enlighten us a little bit about it as well. So we had the honor of gracing her on here. Now we have you on here now. You know, what you're doing is amazing. You know, I've I've checked through some of your stuff because I like to look through a lot of my guests' social media and things. I love the presentation of it though. I think it's really it comes off really digestible for people, you know, especially people that don't understand what your guys' condition is. You know, I think it's a great Sarah Rose: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": insight that you're giving your own personal experience to other people so they can see like, okay, this is what it's like for somebody that has to deal with this on a daily basis. Sarah Rose: Yeah, it's it's a lot. And I always like it's kind of like information Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: overload. So we do try to keep it like super easy to just save it and like hopefully come back to it. a lot of our content's like based on dialectical behavior therapy, which is what I use to help me really get into remission. And of course I was in therapy for eight years before I went into DBT. So I also had that like CBT background, all the talk therapy. as well. So, you know, we just we try to keep it simple and just like optimistic, without being like, you know, like toxic positive and like overly depressing. Cause it it can be a very debilitating disorder to try and recover from, but but it's treatable. So Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Yeah. Sarah Rose: like there's hope at the same time, you know. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, no, for one hundred percent. You like you said, you're going through a mission now. you know, so it is very possible. There's another girl who runs a group called the BPD bunch. She's on YouTube. she came on as well and we were talking to her, and then we actually had Mel Goldman this season. She came on as well. And she was associated with that group too, because Mel has BPD as well. Doing incredible things, you know, just like you're doing. I mean, I do love though, when you sent me some information over it, the part I really like stands out said relatable narrative for survivors, creators, and neurodivergent readers, which I think is a really great thing because a lot of people don't understand the difference between neurodivergent and regular people. A lot of times you end up having to explain to them that listen, a lot of y'all don't understand things in the same process. So you have to break it down differently, which I love that you're covering that space though. We We met another gentleman who actually literally that's all he does in his psychological practices, talk to neurodivergent individuals. I think it's great because now you guys are getting that you're covering a niche that a lot of people aren't getting into, but you're you're making it palatable so everybody feels welcome. So it's not like so overwhelming for even them. Sarah Rose: Yeah, that's it's I mean it's a good it's a good thing and it's important because a lot of people with B P D also have like A D D and autism. It Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: they're very commonly like linked. So, you know, it information overload can really really put a damper on things when you're trying to like recover. So absolutely. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, yeah, very true, very true. So Sarah, let's get into Sadie's favorite. How did this even come about as an idea? Sarah Rose: Well, it it was going to originally be a memoir. So there's definitely some lived experience like interwoven into the scenes because it's a fictional book. but as I was started writing it, which was back in like right when I got diagnosed, I I think I wrote my first scene. just kind of like to cope. it was gonna be a a memoir, and I kind of wanted like to separate myself from the story. So I started fictionalizing it and then it just kind of took on a life of its own. Really, the main objective with the book is to go over like the favorite person dynamics and how they can so quickly like turn toxic and and or abusive. And you know, I mean it kind of it's something like BPD Beautiful, it just kind of took on its own life. Took me about five years to write and edit and finish. And then my band also produced a soundtrack for an an original soundtrack that kind of follows the main character's band, because you know, I I write music personally. So of course my main character is also gonna Pete "mental health champ": Okay, okay. Sarah Rose: be involved in music. their band was kind of like an ambient post rock kind of group. It's a little different from what my band usually writes, but we wrote We wrote a soundtrack to go with the story. So it kind of there's like eight read-along tracks. And then there's like three or four I now I can't remember, bonus tracks that kind of relate to the story. So they have lyrics and they sound a little more like our typical sound. And it was just it was a fun, fun project to finish. I think it was very therapeutic for me to write and to be a part of. And you know, I know some people have you know, people have been reading the book and then some people have actually listened to the soundtrack to go with it. So I like I feel like it's just makes it more immersive. So it was fun. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Well what 100% though, because you just hit it in the head. Music is a monster thing for me. what you may not know is I'm a huge music guy. I love music. I'm always listening to music, listening to different things, different songs and picking apart because the lyrics really make a difference, you know. So when I saw that, I was like, okay, now I'm really interested. There's a book and a mu so you try. I'm like, now you're doing more. And then I seen that you guys and a couple other people in the group. inside your organization are part of the band too. I was like, okay, this is really cool though. You know, for Sarah Rose: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": you guys to to do a purpose, it's really cool though. I mean, like I love I love having musicians on here because I could talk music all day with everybody, you know, and things like that too. So I thought it was really interesting, but I do think I like the the dynamic that you can go either way. People are reading the book or people prefer to listen listen to it instead. They can listen to the soundtrack instead and still get the same feeling, you know, at the end of the day. Are you are you getting great reviews on the book though? You have to be. Sarah Rose: Yeah, we're getting reviews. It's I'm not really like putting too much money into promoting it, so I'm kinda just letting it organically grow and it's it's been a slow burn Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Sarah Rose: growth, but we have seen good, like great reviews actually. Like I'll get private messages. people really relate to Sadie's journey and unfortunately a lot of people with BPD also deal with abuse. You know, they have that abusive Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: childhood or they find themselves in these very toxic, abusive relationships, mainly with like people who have narcissistic traits. So I think like the book is just Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: very, very relatable. Pete "mental health champ": You know, you hit a real good point though, because a lot of times narcissists will feed off the excess energy that you guys are giving off, essentially. You know, somebody that I I like I said, I dated somebody with BBD and me and her would discuss it all the time. And she would say that she had certain friends or narcissistic that would feed off of a lot of her emotion the excess emotions she had and things like that too. So that's a really great point you bring up because a lot of people don't even know that though, you know. You always see these posts on social media where it's like they're always demonizing you guys, but I'm the one always going in there going, listen, hold up, hold up. Look, did you take time to go look at the other side, whether he or she, whatever your partner was at the time, did you go look and look into what it is they deal with? Did you take any time to understand anything? You know, and and in relationships, it's hard for you guys because, you know, there's there's all these other things and all the extra emotions you deal with. And sometimes you guys, you know, can be a little verbally abusive. But, you know, it's all about how you handle it though. But a lot of times people demonize. People with BPD and it's it's really disgusting to me because it's like, you know, did you take 10 minutes to look on the internet? Cause you would have found tons of things that you could have better understand what they're doing and how to be a better person or be a better partner to them and then understand there's ways to to diffuse these certain situations, you know. Like Dr. Jen has a whole community that does things like that too. You know, we have you out here who's offering information, you know, and then there's all these other accounts, like these different TikTok things that keep coming through now that I keep seeing all the time. So it's great that we're we're talking more about something that a lot of people don't even know what the heck it even means. A lot of people think when you say BPT you mean you're talking about bipolar and it's not. We're talking about borderline Sarah Rose: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": personality disorder, a whole different subject. Sarah Rose: different thing. It's like it's like by it's similar to bipolar, but it's like sped up. So it's like their a peer a person with BPD, their Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, yeah. Sarah Rose: mood swings will change within minutes or like an hour, like throughout the day, whereas bipolar, you know, you'll go through your manic or your depressive stages, but they'll last like weeks or months. So, you know, it's like, yeah, but I get that a lot where like even my friend groups are like, do you mean bipolar? I'm like, no, no, it's totally different. But I have heard of people who having bipolar NBP, which is a whole other ballpark, you know, whole list of other struggles. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Yep. That's that's the young lady, the young lady I was dating, in fact, had it. She had bipolar thing too. you know, my ex-wife had bipolar too. I almost thought she may have BPD given her her history of things that she had told me, but she, you know, she would never spend the time to be diagnosed. She doesn't she wouldn't go for that kind of thing. But I'd had strong suspicions that maybe she went through the same thing, you know, but she didn't want to go through the time to be diagnosed since you know it takes so long for you guys to diagnose people. But yeah, the girl I was dating She had both. But to me, she was she was just fine. Like I didn't run into a lot of these problems I see a lot of people have. well, they're very violent and this and that. And I'm like, but then again, we don't know what the flip side of the coin is. We don't know if these individuals took time like I did to understand these kind of things. Like the minute that me and her started talking, I reached out to Dr. Jen Bellinger and I said, Dr. Jen, I I got a question for you that's gonna sound weird. I said, but I'm actually talking to a girl who has BPD. Is there things that I can learn to better, you know. Help her out, and she was very impressed that I went to this extent. And then the fact that she was teaching me things along the way, I was so receptive. But I've always been that way, though. I've always been a curious person to know more. So anything I could do to be a better person for her, you know, in those situations, I went and did. But not everybody does that though. And I think it's funny Sarah Rose: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": though, your friends were trying to tell you bipolar. And I'm like, the way I describe it to people is I'm like bipolar BPD, dude. Like side by side, they kind of go a little similar, but no. No no, you guys have a whole long Sarah Rose: Well yeah, they have totally different Pete "mental health champ": spectrum. Sarah Rose: It's different. I mean, you know, that's not to say that people with BPD can't be abusive, because it does happen. but I mean it's Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: it it takes a lot of care to be someone who can be like a good partner for for someone with BPD. And it it's very rough, like even for the loved ones. Like I do coaching sessions Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: and I'll talk to loved ones and they're trying their hardest. And and I think you mentioned how you had a a wife that wasn't really kind of do I mean I maybe I'm wrong, but wasn't really doing the work or wasn't really getting like doing the steps to get diagnosed. That happens. Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": She didn't she didn't like therapy. Like she didn't like it all. No. Yeah, she was she was not a big fan of therapy. When I started this podcast, you know, the only real nugget of advice she gave me was to be authentic when you're doing this because you're gonna get into some conversations where shit's gonna get deep. And she was like, you know what, you need to be really authentic because people are gonna see through that bullshit really quick. And I was like, okay, cool. So at first I was hesitant. You know, 'cause I've never po I podcasted for a little bit, I never really did a lot of interviews, but when I started doing this one, I like, you know, I'm gonna do something different. Like I'm in a space where I'm not an expert in any means. I I'm just a guy that deals with my own mental health that's decided to start a conversation that has lit up like crazy. This show books into God, I don't even know, September now, I think, give or take, maybe somewhere in there. I don't know. You know, but I have people lining up and then when I say Sarah Rose: Everyone has mental issues. Pete "mental health champ": that though, I've got like four to five people twice a week until September right now. You know, so the it the demand is there, you know what I mean? But it's so fun when you get people like yourself to come on that, you know, we get all these great nuggets and the things you're doing. I like to highlight the stuff that you're doing, you know, you have the book, you have the music track, you have the, you know, the page where you're putting all the stuff up the blog and things are really cool too because I think blogs are interesting though because you get a perspective like no other because you get to see things Through your eyes, so people can understand what it is and how you guys are dealing with things and how your emotions work and things like that. So, you know, it gives a great perspective, you know. And the same thing with the BPD bunch when they when Fanny came on, me and her were discussing the same thing. I was talking to her about it. She she was doing music as well, too. That was funny you say that though. But she's done music as well, and things like that. And now I now you're coaching as well, which is really cool though, because you add an extra perspective because you've lived it, you know what it's like, so you can relate to a lot of these individuals. That a lot of people can't can't handle. Sarah Rose: Yeah. It's I mean, that's where the coaching comes in. I I was reluctant to do that. I'm like, well, I'm I don't I'm not licensed. I'm not I don't have any credentials, you know, it's just people just like talking to someone who's been there. So that's what I offer, you know. I I keep the price low because I just don't feel comfortable charging a hundred dollars for to to talk to someone when I don't have that like licensing. But you know, it it's nice 'cause like a a lot of it's like very healing. conversations where I'm just having these like one to one talks with people and and you know they open up and they say it helps. I mean I'm I'm not gonna toot my own horn. I you know I'm just trying to validate people and some you know if they ask for Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Sarah Rose: advice or anything that I did that helped me, you know, I'm I'm there for them. And you know it's it's it's very rewarding doing this kind of work and just talking with with people and seeing their experiences 'cause it's like You know, you're booked all the way to Sept September. It just goes to show like how many people are really struggling mentally. It's you Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Sarah Rose: know, it's so common for people to struggle and Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, you know, I'm I'm planning to have some other guests come back. I've had a few come back. I've had I think the most I've had was one person's come back four times. Sha she was actually the second guest on the show, but I've had other people come back and it's interesting to hear their experience after being on the show. One person I can think of directly is my good friend Whitney. She came on and she told the craziest fucking story the first time around. The second time she had something even wilder to tell us. You know, but it But she did say though after the first time, a lot of people were reaching out to her saying, my God, I didn't know you dealt with these kind of things. And you know, and it's it's interesting because all I'm doing is having a conversation, just like you. I'm just giving people that space and that that place to be heard. You know, I do this show and I do another show called Voice of the Voiceless, where it's just more like stories and things like that too. But opening that space to other people just leads you to some interesting conversations about things and the in the people you meet, it's just it's crazy. Like I had what author come on girl has like one million followers the coolest lady ever I even fact this season after this though this one'll be out before the other episode be out before but I've had a woman come on she's been on ESPN MTV all these shows okay you would think big ego coming in coolest lady you've ever met in your life the coolest people ever once Sarah Rose: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": you hit record they sit down and talk to you you know and things like that too but Listen, so do you have anything planned for the future though? You got anything new coming up? Any events or stuff like that you're planning? Sarah Rose: Yes, we're actually in the process of we're trying to secure some partnerships and can't Pete "mental health champ": Okay. Sarah Rose: really say anything about that just yet, but we're also I'm in the middle of creating a self help like hub where I mean that's what BPD Beautiful is, but we're creating Pete "mental health champ": Love it. Love it. Sarah Rose: like a membership site where it's gonna be a very low cost, affordable subscription and Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: it's pretty much gonna have all of our content categorized by symptom or like situation like I'm feeling I I'm feeling like you know s like self harm, you know, it's like I wanna self harm or I'm feeling impulsive or I want to self sabotage or I'm feeling rage or I'm feeling shame and everything will be l listed by like steps. So like step one, you use this video to like practice mindfulness. Step two, you're gonna use these different coping skills. And all of our content is so easy to digest. So it's like it's just something that they can refer to. I'm gonna try to turn it into like a a little app as well to where they can download it. And if they're feeling Pete "mental health champ": That's what it's cool. Sarah Rose: triggered in the moment, they just have that little app real quick. They can just click into it. And then click through like whatever they're feeling and they they have it all right there. It's like a like a pocket companion. So this way it's like because people deal with that information overload and there's so much information out there, a lot of people, like myself included, will just like scroll through things and save it, but then never go back to it. Like then they just forget and then they're in the moment, they're having an episode and they feel lost, even though they've learned all these different skills and they're in therapy. You know, maybe they need something at one o'clock in the morning when they're having an episode. So this is kind of just a way for them to like have like a very low cost way to help themselves. Pete "mental health champ": In fact, I may I may have the tool for you. My my my partner over at PsychPal is almost exactly like just that. It's an AI app, but basically what it is, is like it'll talk to you as an individual and it'll learn who you are, and things like that too. So you know what? I'll have to get you in contact with Jules and maybe maybe he could be your official partner for that app that you're looking for. Jules is a very understanding guy, like he He crafted this thing originally for his daughter, but it's AI based. He's put a lot of work in it to to make sure, like if self-harm were to come up, hey, listen, let's call 988. Let's call one of your emergency contacts. It also has Sarah Rose: Yeah, yeah. Pete "mental health champ": a really cool feature. Like it'll take notes for people that are in therapy. It can send over notes to their therapists and things like that too. I will have to get you his email contact and and introduce you guys together. And you can talk to him a little bit about what you're planning. It it might fit what you're looking for because he like he's looking for new ideas of anything. that he could help. Like maybe even give him some input, like it could work better for people with BBD and craft it a little more and then use it as an official app partner. You know what I mean? Because he's always looking for Sarah Rose: Yeah, yeah. Pete "mental health champ": ways to get it out there and things like that too. So we'll have to talk about that. I'll get his email and stuff together for you. But I like that idea though, because the mobility of that, hey, what do I do at one in the morning kind of thing? That's where this kind of filled in the void a little bit because when he came to me and he told me about it, I I've been playing around with this thing. I got a friend that loves this thing. She has bipolar, she has be she has bipolar. Okay. So she's bipolar. So she's talking to this thing and she's talking about, yeah, man, I've been talking to this psych pal. I love this thing. And she's adding rave reviews. So I'd like to I'm definitely sending the link to how to check it out because I want to just get your opinion and see what we could do better to better, you know, assist the people in the BPD community. You know, that way we include more people and we're not missing on any opportunities we can get and things like that as well, you know. But I but Sarah Rose: Yeah, yeah. Like it's especially if it's AI driven, like safeguards are so important because like people have been using like Chat Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: GBT and like that that Pete "mental health champ": I don't know. Nothing like chapter two of it. Sarah Rose: yeah, that worries me because sometimes I do I see referrals coming in from like some chat bot to our website and that it scares me because like I know Like so if it's like an AI app where it's like super safeguarded and it's like meant for that, that's like much better, you know, and 'cause it could be dangerous. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Yeah. Jill Jill spent spent a numerous amount of time. Yes. And that was his thing. When me and him met, we had actual sat down, had a face to face meeting about it. We were talking about it. And he was like, Yeah, you know, I went down the deep lengths to make sure we safeguarded those things because we don't need a chat GPT incident happening. You know, he's like, and your information is super protected too. He literally had taken the time to make sure you're it's only accessible. Like if the law enforcement needed it. Okay, he can get it then. But it takes rigorous amount of stuff to get to it though, because that's how much safeguard he put into this thing. so you know, we'll definitely have to discuss that after this about getting we'll set up I'll introduce you guys and things like that too. But I I I love the idea of the community thing. That's really cool. Let me know if there's anything we can help or I can promote it or whatever. I'm down, man. Let me sign me up. I'm down. I'd love to help you guys any way I can. I'm I'm 100% down for it. I think it's a great idea. I could even get you in touch with Dr. Jen. And see if there's anything maybe she can add for you or something like that. Fantastic woman. She has she does I think she's still doing her podcast. It's like shrink with a drink or something like that. I'll have to look it up for you. But Sarah Rose: my god. Pete "mental health champ": yeah, Dr. Jen, she's so cool though. Like I said, she was really cool. She came on the show, real nice woman, really informative about P BBD and all that kind of stuff. So maybe she can give you some insight and some other things you can offer or and you know, stuff like that. Cause I'd love to help. Like I said, I love what you're doing. I've gone through and looked I looked through all your socials and everything else. I look through everything. I go look through all kind of stuff especially with people that are in these little areas 'cause it's so nice to see someone's out there fighting for these people that don't have a lot of say in anything because no one really understands you guys as individuals. Sarah Rose: Yeah. And and unfortunately the stigma between like mental health professionals is still so high. Like I dealt with I s I dealt with that just like two weeks ago where I I heard a therapist talking about BPD and it was just the most hateful sounding stigmatizing thing. And I'm like, I can't believe even in twenty twenty six people like in the mental health field are still thinking this way. Like they're there's so much research now to show that it's like got a very high recovery rate and it's treatable. So I mean, I know there you're Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Yeah. Sarah Rose: gonna it's a spectrum. So like you're gonna have people on that side of the spectrum that don't wanna get a diagnosis, that aren't helping themselves and that are very I hate to say it, but they act very toxic and they can be downright abusive. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: So you will have those people, but like because Pete "mental health champ": No, no, you're not wrong. Sarah Rose: it's a s yeah. No, I mean, I hate to say it, but I do. I deal with victims of people who are b who are also with you know, who have BPD. I deal with their victims and I deal with the people who have it. So it's like it's such a mixed bag. But the fact is it's a spectrum. So like you have plenty of people. Most people who go and get treatment will can get to a point of remission. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. One hundred percent one one hundred percent agree with you though, Sarah. Sarah Rose: So it's sad when you have the other side of the spectrum where people don't want to do that. Pete "mental health champ": I one hundred percent agree with you. Right? No, I agree a hundred percent with you. Like I said, you, Fanny, there's another girl I met that was that's in remission as well. So it's very possible. You know, what how do you explain you guys not you guys not being you guys being in remission? You know what I'm saying? It is possible though. You know, the statistics are there, but you can't trust everybody thing everybody says because some people out there just say some of the most banana things ever, you know, especially with the internet. Let's let's go into that a little bit though. The internet is a scary place. Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you. The statistics of suicides in boys ten to fourteen has on the uprise this year. You know why? Because the internet, okay? Sarah Rose: Very scary because I have a fifteen year old. yeah. Hundred percent. Pete "mental health champ": It's okay, so li Sarah, let's get into that by the way. You have a fifteen year old son. Is that a major concern for you though, hearing those statistics? Sarah Rose: It is. I'm very close with my son, thank thank God. Pete "mental health champ": Anyway. Sarah Rose: so I'm not I'm not worried about his mental health. Like I was when he was a little younger. I thought maybe he was developing BPD himself. but as he's gotten older, I'm realize like he's matured and he's some of those things that I thought would develop into BPD that we would, you know, talk about with his doctors. You know, we've watched them and and it seems like he outgrew them. So before it could develop into Pete "mental health champ": That's yeah. Sarah Rose: something, we were able to like nip that in the bud. but yeah, I mean it's concerning because he's he's he loves his video games. He loves you know, he loves that culture. So like getting him off Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: of the screens and making sure I'm like super engaged in his life and I know all of his friends and like his father and I are very close with him. Thankfully, he's willing to be close with us. Actually, he still likes being close with us. Like, you know, so we have that that open line of communication, but a lot of parents don't have that for whatever reason. you know, maybe they just I think when he was little, I was really learning about like abuse and like stuff from my own childhood and what my own parents did that I worked so hard to not. repeat the cycle of abuse that that's why we're now able to have that kind of dynamic with him now. But if I hadn't done all that work, I'm sure he would have just been another statistic in that cycle of generational trauma. So, you know, it Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Yeah. Sarah Rose: it's it's scary though as a parent of a teen today. It's it's very scary. You know, I I wonder how the job market's even gonna be, the economy's even gonna be, like it it Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. You you're not wrong. You're not wrong. Sarah Rose: It's a scary world. The internet is very scary. Pete "mental health champ": I've got I've got all girls. I have three girls. I should have four. I have a fourth one that's older. She's like in her twenties. younger one who just graduated high school and have two more that are just now getting into high school. And that's a real concern as I'm watching these things and the things they're dealing with. And and my oldest my older daughter, she's she happens to be gay. So, you know, that's that's another element. Let's add that to the party now. Now you have to deal with people harassing her that don't agree with that. You know, and I just told you, you live your f live life to the fullest, man. If somebody gets like gives you hell, I'm gonna go to I'll go to jail for you, honestly. You know, but it it's still a scary thing because the things these kids see on the internet these days and the misinformation and all this crazy shit that's out there in TikToks and Snapchats and all these, you know, it's different than when we were kids, man. We had to look each other face to face ninety percent of the time and say these horrible things. Now you can go into these, you know, like well, idi video games for sure. Some I've been in some of those lobbies. Let me tell you, we we get a little we get a little rambunctious in there, I'll be honest with you. But now they're doing better with that though. You know, the time he's spending, they're lot people are constantly monitoring those though. Now they're moderating everything. The kit the chats, the group chats too, the ones that you do outside of the game itself. You can have your own separate private parties. They're still monitoring those now too. They've gotten a little better with that whole thing. They're any certain words they Sarah Rose: Latcom. Pete "mental health champ": catch on, they don't like, and you know what I mean? It's it's a little more reassuring now with those. back in the nineties, yeah. I don't I can't I could just say we said some horrible things in those rooms. There's there's probably still recordings out there, just things we've said that are just in yeah, yeah, we won't go down that road. It's bad though. But you know, I I do get that though. But I spend a lot of time on like TikTok and things like that too. And you run into people, you know, like we do those like battle things. So like you run into random people. I ran into a young gentleman the other day. He had to be like nineteen. I think he's nineteen, he he happened to be gay as well, which was funny because I said, Hey man, how you doing? And goes, I'm horrible. Somebody came in here and started harassing me. I'm like, so just block That's all you do. Block don't let them ruin your day. You know what I mean? It's like it's horrible you see people just doing these things. Like, if it's not for you, just scroll on. Why do you have to constantly make a nasty comment to somebody? Sarah Rose: Yeah, no, it's true. I mean it's cyberbullying is a huge problem. I feel you know, people now are just so desensitized to stuff. So like they just they run their mouth. They're just like a keyboard warrior and it's awful. People are mean. People are cruel and Pete "mental health champ": So so Sarah, my my next leading question though to you is like when you started posting about your own condition, did you get a lot of negative responses? Because remember now we have to remember people didn't know what you had when you probably started sharing a lot of stuff. It was probably still relatively new to them, but to you, you've been dealing with this for most of your life, you know? Sarah Rose: Yeah. I mean, I I kind of did it more anonymously. I did use a pen name for like the first four four years. and then I revealed my face and my name and you know, so I did it anonymously, so it kinda gave me that like protection of like, if someone says any negative, like whatever, it doesn't matter, no one's gonna know. and I mostly Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Sarah Rose: just did the blog and that kinda helped, like where I wasn't like putting myself out there as an influencer. Like I I because I didn't really want that. I'd I wanted to build like a brand almost. Like I didn't really want, Saros, you know, it's like I didn't want my face out there too much. So that kind of helped. the main thing I mean sometimes we get like comments. We usually get comments on like Pinterest, surprisingly. We'll get comments, very stigmatizing comments on there and I just delete them because I don't want other people in the community to see them. Pete "mental health champ": Interest, man. Sarah Rose: I know, because it's like and you know, that's like another thing where it's like mostly anonymous. So, you know, you'll see that. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: but like and I just delete them so other people in the community don't see them. Like it doesn't bother me. Like I know what what's up and most people are just so, you know, misinformed that they have no idea what they're saying. But a lot of it was on the blog. So like, yeah, we had we got some comments in like the the earlier days we would get more comments on the blog. Now not so much. People just don't even have the attention span to sign in and create a comment anymore. so yeah it w I was pretty well protected. Actually surprisingly the the most hate I ever received I remember was there was two instances. It was where I first posted that BPD was treatable and it was from people who had BPD and this was like in 2019. And because I I put some sources out there like, no, this research was done and this research was done. And these are like mental health professionals saying, No, it's treatable, it's treatable. And there was like hundreds of comments saying, like, no, this is this is you know, this is lifelong. There's no hope for us. And I'm like, Why are you guys like fighting with me on this? Like this is a good thing. So that was one thing. And then there was some other instances. Of course, we used to get way more comments back in the day. Now with the way the algorithms are all run, it it's very hard to get organic reach or organic or engagement unless you have like millions of followers, which we don't. We keep you know, we have our platform pretty small. But I think the most stigmatizing, not the most stigmatizing, but the most hate I got was, and you could probably still pull these up on Instagram, was and Facebook was when we posted like job ideas for people with BPD. And people were very upset about that because they assumed that we were saying you had to do these particular jobs and you couldn't do any other kind of job. And I was like, guys, this is like you have to realize this is a spectrum. So like some of us are like, okay, we know what we can do and we know what we're capable of and we feel fulfilled in our line of work. And then there's a bunch of other of us who don't feel that way, who feel like, I can't work, I can't do this, like, and then there are some who really can't. Can't work. Like their D BBD, their BPD is just so debilitating that they need to they need to try and get on disability and there's nothing wrong with that. So like, you know, it's it's such a mixed bag. So like we'll get, you know, so I would say honestly the most hate I've ever gotten online was actually from people with BPD instead of from people who aren't in the community. Pete "mental health champ": Yeah, you know, and that's not really shocking though, because we don't know what their previous experience was with other people that don't understand what they have. You know Sarah Rose: Yeah, so they assume the worst. Pete "mental health champ": what I mean? Yeah. No, I agree. I agree. And it's it's amazing. Sarah Rose: They're very sensitive people. Pete "mental health champ": yeah. Yeah. I mean, rightfully Sarah Rose: Yeah. Pete "mental health champ": so they are, yeah. See, that's not even being mean. That's being honest. Like I I I do, I've done my research. I know. Let me tell you, I understand completely. some of you all's point of view and things like that too, you know. But that was really cool though, the moment you decided to say, fuck it, I'm gonna take the mask off and I'm just gonna reveal it to be me. You know, and then, you know, people are gonna take it as what it's worth. You know what I mean? It's it is what it is. Like when I started telling people my story, I people didn't know how bad I struggled. Season one of this whole show, I was so depressed. I never left the room that I recorded in. I was in this room, okay, you can see the screen of never left the room at all until my wife got home. I switched rooms so she would never know. I was struggling because I just didn't want to tell her. Because she was never really receptive of those kind of things. She was always like, you know, she had that I mentality of, you know, I'm gonna scare you. Because I told her before we got divorced that I told her I said I had plans to, you know, t kill myself. And she was like, well make me the 13th reason why. And I was like, okay. So when I started telling people that She got so mad because I started sharing the story. I said, why? You don't like what you said? no, I stand by it still. That's what she's to this day. She'll tell you she still stands by that statement. And I said, So what was your plan? She's Well, I was trying to scare you. I'm like, that doesn't work like that. When people are at a certain point, they're not listening to you. Whatever you're saying is irrelevant at that point. I don't care what you're saying. So but Sarah, we are at Sarah Rose: Yeah, it is. Pete "mental health champ": that part of the interview, though. We're gonna get to those two questions I told you about. Okay. Are you ready for this first one? This first one now is a very fun one. Because I love asking people, you're a musician too, so you're gonna like this one, okay? Ready? So if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? Sarah Rose: gonna use one of my own songs and that might be bad, but I guess it's also kind of Pete "mental health champ": Go right go right ahead, whatever one you want. Whatever you want, it's your answer. Sarah Rose: would it would should it be current mental health or past mental health? Actually, you know what? I Pete "mental health champ": However you want to break this thing down, I'm interested. I'm interested now. Sarah Rose: this would definitely be like a past mental health song, but even currently, because I I still go through my bad days. And even lately, Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Sarah Rose: I also just found out recently that I'm pregnant. So my husband and I are having a baby. And that Pete "mental health champ": well Congratulations. Sarah Rose: thank you. so you know, that comes with all the hormones and the you know, to Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: the setback. So I gotta I'm gonna go back to therapy just for some maintenance. But I would say Ride It Out by my band them verse her really describes my mental health. that song I wrote when I was actually just got diagnosed. So it was like 2019. And I kind of wrote it to myself to and like the chorus says like don't just let me slip away. I've come too far to go to waste. Just ride it out like a wave. I know tomorrow things might change. So it it kind of just it helped me over the years, like anytime I would listen back to it, like just to be like, okay, Sarah, like you you've been through so much already, you've overcome so much. So like let's just keep going and let's just ride out all these like strong emotions. So I would say that song for sure. Pete "mental health champ": I love it. Absolutely, Sarah. So okay. The last question in the reason I started this podcast is for you is if you could break the stigma about mental health. Now, what I'm asking you is something that you hear people say constantly that you just want them to stop believe to stop believing, what would you say that thing would be? Sarah Rose: I guess in a general sense, not just pertaining to BPD, I would say stop thinking that this is such a it's such a rare thing to struggle. And I feel like that Pete "mental health champ": Yeah. Sarah Rose: would mostly be to like an older generation as well, like the generation that didn't really normalize therapy. Pete "mental health champ": Mm-hmm. Sarah Rose: Cause like literally everyone struggles some way. I I've don't know if I've ever really met anyone who's never dealt with some like period of feeling sad or down. Like so it's just it's very normal. And I would I would like people to stop thinking that like it's rare to struggle. Yeah. I had a member of my family who was like, I never get anxiety. I never get I've never been depressed. I'm like, yeah, but you've gone through like dark periods, I'm sure, during life. Like Pete "mental health champ": Exactly, right? You may not know that's what you were going through. You know what I mean? People may not understand that's what they're dealing with, you know, because they're denying what it really is that they're seeing. But Sarah, thank you so much for coming to hang out. This was a pleasure to have you. before we start wrapping up, do you wanna let everybody Sarah Rose: You're welcome. Thank you for having me. Pete "mental health champ": know? Well, definitely, man. Listen, you're welcome to come back anytime when you get the community going. We definitely can have you come back and we'll go through and we'll look at it and talk about it some more. And how people you know, all that we'll get to all those details when you when you get start getting all that stuff going. Because I'd like I said, I'd love to be behind that a hundred percent with you. Like I said, I'm always big on things for mental health reasons. You know, I'd love love different spaces like that where people can go and get help for these different things like that. So definitely. So before we start wrapping up, do you want to let me know where they can find you? I gave out your Instagram. Do you want to give them the website? You know, soon to be the community coming, we'll have that too. So let have it, Sarah. Where can they find you? Sarah Rose: You can find me at bpdbeautiful.com or sadysfavorite.com. If you want to check out my music, you could go to themverseher dot com. That's them vsher dot com. So that's that's it. That's where those are my sites. Pete "mental health champ": There you go. I love it, Sarah. I love it. Thank you so much again, guys. I will have those links for Sarah's all her websites, everything, all in the description of this episode, obviously, guys. And again, thank you so much, Sarah for coming to hang out with us. We appreciate everything you're doing. like I said, do you have the golden ticket to come back anytime you want? You whatever wanna come hang out, come be a guest, host with me. I you know, you can come, we'll we'll figure it out. Like I said, it'll be something fun to do. So, do you have any last Sarah Rose: Definitely. Pete "mental health champ": words for anybody out there listening? What what's the last thing you want to leave them l last thing impression and leave them, Sarah what's What quote were you leaving us with? Sarah Rose: To say this no matter who you are, no matter what you've done, there is hope for you. I like to say that. Pete "mental health champ": I love it, guys. And with that being said, we're going to wrap up this episode of Pete for Sanxiety. You where to find on Pete for Sinxiety? I'm an X all the way down to TikTok. I'm on Spotify all the way down to Pandora Radio. And as always say, it costs nothing, absolutely nothing to be kind to somebody. One kind act you can do can save some life, hell, you can make their day. I'm Pete for Sanxiety. Sign out saying don't ask how your day is today. Say, hey, how's your mental health?