Latest / The Curve / [Uncut] The Cost of Loneliness.

Transcript

[Uncut] The Cost of Loneliness. · The Curve

• 0:00
  It's me again, all on my own.
• 0:03
  Vic has moved to Singapore.
• 0:05
  She's starting a new family.
• 0:07
  No, she's totally fine.
• 0:08
  She's just very busy with a few quite exciting announcements
• 0:12
  that we're working on behind the scenes.
• 0:14
  So we can't share too much,
• 0:17
  but one of the things that we have been working on unbelievably hard
• 0:21
  is IOU, which is our brand new podcast and course coming out next week.
• 0:26
  So I wanted to just quickly, before I get into what we're talking about today,
• 0:29
  play a little sneak peek of what to expect from IOU episode one.
• 0:34
  Welcome to IOU, some money education.
• 0:37
  Hi everyone, I'm Lucy.
• 0:39
  I run a business called
• 0:39
  Shit You Should Care About.
• 0:40
  It has about three point something million followers.
• 0:43
  Not sure if you two know that.
• 0:45
  Do you know that?
• 0:46
  No.
• 0:46
  Do you?
• 0:47
  Never heard of it.
• 0:47
  I'm sorry, what's your name again?
• 0:49
  My name's Lucy.
• 0:50
  How does your business make money?
• 0:52
  This is the question I get asked the most.
• 0:54
  It's always,
• 0:55
  what famous people follow you and how do you make money?
• 0:58
  Can you answer the first one too though?
• 1:00
  I wrote a newsletter after doing an interview with you for The Curve about investing.
• 1:05
  And so I got a little bit empowered and then I was like, wait, I need to show my flatmates
• 1:09
  how to set up an auto-invest on Sharesies.
• 1:12
  If I'm teaching them how to do this, I might as well teach the audience.
• 1:14
  Most of your 20s is going to lunches and either being the person that's like, let's split
• 1:20
  the bill or being the person that is like, I can't afford to split the bill.
• 1:25
  As a friend, you have to be really conscious of those people.
• 1:28
  Like if you want to go and you want them to come, cover them or don't make them pay for the shit they didn't eat.
• 1:32
  This is actually one of my favorite stories.
• 1:34
  I have this distinct memory.
• 1:36
  2008, global financial crisis.
• 1:38
  Opening my parents' mail and it was a bank statement.
• 1:41
  I asked my parents, what is an overdraft?
• 1:44
  So while we're talking about you as a kid, I think this is a very good segue.
• 1:47
  So we've done a bit of sneaky sneaky and we've spoken to your dad, your stepmom and your brothers.
• 1:53
  So creepy.
• 1:54
  If I have to tell you Lucy's worst spending ever, it's her decision to get...
• 2:04
  If you want to be the first to know when this drops, how you can get involved,
• 2:08
  make sure you sign up to our newsletter.
• 2:09
  We will put that in the podcast show notes, but just cannot wait to share this with you.
• 2:14
  So this week on The Curve Weekly, we had Abigail Foster,
• 2:17
  chartered accountant, author, all-round absolute legend,
• 2:21
  speaking about all of the money news that you need to know about.
• 2:23
  And one of the conversations we had was around the cost of loneliness.
• 2:26
  There is billions of dollars that businesses are spending on lonely employees.
• 2:32
  And this is one of those things where it's like, maybe it sounds like a personal problem,
• 2:35
  but actually it's kind of a business problem too.
• 2:38
  And we had a huge conversation about this.
• 2:41
  We put a section of it in the Curve Weekly, but we wanted to release the full conversation
• 2:45
  for you to listen to today.
• 2:48
  It is really honest, quite vulnerable, but I think super interesting and relevant for
• 2:53
  a lot of our audience so I hope you enjoy it but we will be back next week with our regular
• 2:57
  programming of the Curve Weekly on Monday and our brand new IOU episode launching Thursday so this
• 3:03
  is a very big week for us we can't wait to show you what's going on behind the scenes as well
• 3:07
  we've got um god what I'm thinking if I could tell you what it is probably oh who cares we've
• 3:13
  basically been working on a big rebrand like visual rebrand new logo etc it's the first time
• 3:18
  we've done this in like five years and it's looking so cool so we can't wait to share with
• 3:23
  you but have a great week enjoy this uncut episode and we'll see you soon
• 3:31
  now the biggest most interesting potentially controversial story that we'll be speaking
• 3:37
  about today is the cost of loneliness so us companies have spent a really long time
• 3:44
  treating loneliness as like a personal problem and productivity as a sort of spreadsheet business
• 3:51
  problem and there's been new stats that have basically come out to prove that otherwise
• 3:56
  and essentially make businesses realize that lonely employees equal poor output and therefore
• 4:04
  extremely expensive to businesses where do we even start with this story well the stats so 52%
• 4:12
  of US workers feel lonely.
• 4:14
  And so the cost of loneliness is 154 billion pounds.
• 4:19
  What was the
• 4:20
  end of that stat?
• 4:21
  It's like, that is wild.
• 4:23
  So basically, yeah, there's US employers,
• 4:26
  approximately 154 billion a year, it's costing companies based on what lonely, like the way
• 4:33
  loneliness is impacting its workers.
• 4:35
  So it's things like, yeah, they're not, they're showing
• 4:38
  up to meetings with their cameras off, they're disengaged, they're not trying, low energy,
• 4:42
  brain fog that kind of thing is essentially the idea that mental health or loneliness
• 4:47
  is directly impacting companies abilities to make money or be as profitable as they could be because
• 4:54
  they're spending 154 billion a year and I think also things like hybrid working working from home
• 5:00
  lots of those things obviously is exacerbating loneliness because people are way more segregated
• 5:05
  than they have been before but I just find yeah I find this whole conversation really fascinating
• 5:11
  particularly as I'm sure most people who listen to this podcast have seen reels and all sorts of
• 5:20
  women clapping back at the Stephen Bartlett podcast around and I can't remember who was the guest
• 5:25
  Chris Williamson right and so there's like yellow glasses yeah and so if you've missed this just
• 5:31
  give a very quick overview as to what her face is like don't get me started very quick overview
• 5:37
  is basically Chris Williamson and Stephen Bartlett,
• 5:39
  which are two single childless men.
• 5:41
  Oh, sorry, no, neither of them I don't think is single.
• 5:43
  I think Stephen Bartlett's just got engaged.
• 5:44
  But like childless men have come out and said
• 5:47
  that there is a pandemic of like lower child birth rates
• 5:52
  and it is down to women.
• 5:55
  Effectively is what they said.
• 5:56
  And obviously-
• 5:56
  It's our fault basically
• 5:57
  that there's not more babies being born.
• 6:00
  Yeah, and the uproar that as a woman,
• 6:05
  I'm like I think it's a it's a really big topic that I think a lot of women actually I'm sorry I'm
• 6:15
  I don't even know where to go with this I know I'm like how do I start it I'm like
• 6:19
  okay because there's so many thoughts right and I think the biggest clickbaity part of this whole
• 6:24
  story was the comment around genes not getting um the DNA yeah the DNA dying off like this was
• 6:32
  kind of the whole thing like god forbid your dna doesn't like go into another tiny human yeah so
• 6:38
  so um olivia atwood who's like a you uh uk podcast she's amazing in loads of things she has a podcast
• 6:44
  called olivia's house and she was talking to another um woman about this as well and they
• 6:49
  were talking about how like in cells are worried that their dna is dying out and they were like
• 6:53
  well maybe it should do you know i mean like natural selection and there's such a huge part
• 6:58
  of me that's like it's really difficult when you see all this stuff online where it's like men are
• 7:02
  lonely and I'm like could there be some reasons like have we dived into why they might be and
• 7:08
  it's like why are women not having as many children well okay why don't we step back and
• 7:13
  figure out that like having a child now is wildly expensive it's not like it was years ago we don't
• 7:19
  have a village society anymore where your mum was down the road or your auntie lived in like next
• 7:23
  door and you needed child care cool just pop next door your mum probably lives so far away from you
• 7:28
  now because you've got to live in the city because you have to live near work because if you want
• 7:32
  a decent job you have to be near your office so you can get in on time like there's all these
• 7:36
  barriers that make it so hard and also as women we're being told you can have it all but not all
• 7:42
  at once and so therefore you've got to make decisions and often the biggest times in your
• 7:47
  career are your childbearing years i hate the childbearing i know it makes me the word i just
• 7:52
  can't i know but sorry but that is and that's what's happening and so we're going we're having
• 7:56
  to decide between our career and children and then we go well to get children we probably not
• 8:03
  for everyone but you might need another guy involved right and then you go well my career
• 8:09
  gives me like stability income I feel in control of that and then you look for a man and you go on
• 8:14
  to a dating site and you think sorry have you been on hen exactly I'm like that's not giving me
• 8:18
  stability it's not giving me control I'm like yeah like what do you know what it comes down to
• 8:25
  what are they bringing to the table that I can't give myself that is the essence that we're kind
• 8:31
  of getting to here and also we're the ones that have to put our bodies on the line our careers
• 8:35
  on the line it's it's what sorry what is it for us I'm kind of confused with why I'm having to
• 8:43
  sacrifice everything and you're you're concerned about your genes not making its way into a baby
• 8:50
  However, what I'm more concerned about is the fact that if I did have a child with one of these people that I see on Hinge, most likely my career will be down the toilet because you're not going to support me enough so that the kids are going to then meet me because it's not going to be a 50.
• 9:04
  Like, I think that there's a huge amount of pressure being put on women to have the babies.
• 9:10
  And it's like, if there were men that were showing up and doing the laundry and making dinner and doing all of the things that are not inherently feminine, however, we've had to do for so long because it's sort of that you're running the household.
• 9:23
  now that we've stepped into careers the household and the children that should be a shared
• 9:29
  responsibility in the same way that child care should be split but you shouldn't be thinking
• 9:34
  oh they only earn 40 000 a year my my female partner obviously this is very heteronormative
• 9:38
  but like so that's how much it's going to cost for child care so you should give up your job
• 9:43
  it's like actually let's split that it's going to be half of my salary and half of yours there
• 9:47
  you know i just i think that the way we're looking at this is so wrong and like motherhood genuinely
• 9:52
  is one of the biggest issues
• 9:53
  that causes the gender pay gap to be what it is.
• 9:55
  And it's a global issue.
• 9:56
  Like the gender pay gap is effectively
• 9:58
  when women are starting off at the same level as men,
• 10:01
  but not finishing at the same level as men.
• 10:04
  Like we're not getting to those president C-suite roles
• 10:07
  because something happens in the middle.
• 10:10
  There are, and also I would like to caveat,
• 10:11
  there are so many women that should,
• 10:15
  can be, want to be mothers.
• 10:16
  And that's what they want to be.
• 10:18
  And they should be entitled to do that.
• 10:19
  They should be financially supported.
• 10:21
  they should feel in control and that's what they want to do amazing there are also a ton of women
• 10:25
  that don't want kids don't want anything to do with it and so don't think about it great but it's
• 10:29
  that middle group where we're having to decide or people i'm single so it's not something i'm
• 10:33
  thinking about right now but people are having to decide if it's their career or if it's children
• 10:38
  and like you said what normally happens if they're in like a relationship is they look at salaries
• 10:44
  and go well you earn more so therefore i should give up work that's not how it works like we
• 10:48
  should be splitting all of this and going okay but is going out of the job force now going to
• 10:54
  long-term impact you the short answer is yes are you putting into your pension no whilst you're on
• 10:59
  maternity most of the time and therefore you're going to have a gender pay like a pension gap
• 11:03
  issue the ripple knock-on effects of this is huge i feel like we've walked away from the loneliness
• 11:10
  element but i think it's well because why are we yeah i think it's because people have like people
• 11:16
  feel like I do in full honesty like as a single girl at 31 there are so many times where I and I
• 11:22
  I've worked really hard to like live on my own and have like all of my own things and like
• 11:28
  not need a man vibes um and be strong and all of that but I turn around and I feel so lonely like
• 11:33
  I have to go to dinners and be constantly I have to be like an 11th wheel at the dinner table
• 11:38
  because everyone's got their partner and then I always get put on the end like the weird massive
• 11:42
  seat at the end if I'm like the party act of the evening um and usually given my job I sort of sit
• 11:48
  there and I often get sat next to like a reform voter um and they just like put me there for the
• 11:53
  lols to be like debate with my husband and I'm like right fine I thought I was finished for the
• 11:59
  day but come on let's talk about Nigel Farage pull up a seat let's go and I think and that is
• 12:04
  I think that's the parts of the loneliness that we forget even when you are with people in the room
• 12:08
  you can still feel lonely because you're not in a relationship and all I like and I think when I
• 12:13
  if I'm looking for someone I'm just looking for someone that can support me through my career but
• 12:18
  because I have a weird career and so many women have weirder careers now we've had like squiggly
• 12:22
  careers and tradition we're in roles that are traditionally masculine we feel like or I have
• 12:29
  felt in the past that men just don't really get it and therefore don't want to be around it I hear
• 12:33
  all the time from men like at these like dinner parties where I'm usually the only single one
• 12:38
  there men are like I'm so impressed by what you do and I'm like oh thank you but they're almost
• 12:43
  like minimizing it and then then their wives are like oh I could never do what you do like I'd
• 12:48
  never when do I have time to do like the washing and this and that and like we were talking about
• 12:52
  before we started recording like when do you have time to do the food shop I'm like I don't I just
• 12:56
  don't do it neither and I'm and I like it's just a life choice I've had and I maybe that maybe I'm
• 13:03
  a part of that 52 feeling a little bit lonely but from the outside it looks like I'm not
• 13:08
  and actually I think it's it's because of the culture that everything has instilled in us that
• 13:12
  we should be doing more and at a more like a bigger speed but I think do you know what one
• 13:17
  of the things I've learned in 25 was that because someone asked me what success my like biggest
• 13:23
  success was last year and I said my friendships because they have been the thing that stops me
• 13:29
  being lonely because at any time doesn't matter where they are and it's the beauty of technology
• 13:34
  is if I needed any of my friends I can call them FaceTime them and we can have conversations so
• 13:39
  quickly but sometimes it can make me feel more lonely when we get off the phone because you're
• 13:44
  like oh I'm now on my own in my flat on my like it's kind of so it's something to think about
• 13:50
  actually yes and it but it doesn't mean like you don't have to be an incel to be lonely like you
• 13:56
  can also be someone that on the outside looks like they're having a great time and it doesn't
• 13:59
  mean you're failing it's just the construct of life right now I really appreciate you sharing
• 14:04
  that because I think a lot of people would look at your life and think you know it's just so easy to
• 14:10
  judge from what you see which is a very shiny enormous head of hair with stunning style and
• 14:17
  lots of friends and a flying career you you know you don't hear you do hear generally the incels of
• 14:23
  the world talking about how they want their genes to be passed on not really successful people who
• 14:27
  are actually and also one of the groups that we didn't talk about is women who are single who do
• 14:33
  want kids and just can't find anyone that is half decent you know it's I think that there's this um
• 14:40
  yeah there's this real separation at the moment where it sort of like feels like the loneliness
• 14:45
  or the birth rate is like a gendered thing.
• 14:48
  It's not.
• 14:49
  There's lonely people, men and women,
• 14:52
  who do want to be in really nourishing relationships.
• 14:55
  You shouldn't have to choose one or the other.
• 14:57
  I don't think you should have to choose your relationship
• 15:00
  and being single or, do you know what I mean?
• 15:03
  And also, I think that so many things can be true at once.
• 15:07
  Like I've been single most of my adult life.
• 15:10
  I have totally had lots of times of feeling really lonely,
• 15:14
  but I really fucking hate how much we pedestal romantic relationships over friendships and
• 15:19
  I came into work yesterday and I literally said to the girls I said I just got a phone to one of
• 15:23
  my friends who's moved to Singapore we spoke for an hour and I walked in and I just felt
• 15:27
  so much happier and more centered and there's something about your female friendships that
• 15:33
  and I don't even know if this is on the podcast or off the podcast we were talking about this but
• 15:36
  it's like having tiny little therapists and all your friends and I think that of course there's
• 15:41
  lots of women that are lonely as well but I think that something that we do really well is respect
• 15:47
  and honor and nurture our female friends and that is a really important thing when the dating sphere
• 15:53
  is fucking tragic to have beautiful friends um I think that like the I think what we're going
• 16:00
  through in 25 and have been for a long time since COVID is we've got a pandemic of speed everything
• 16:05
  has to happen so fast now and even interactions that we have with friends and relationships it's
• 16:11
  almost like right running to the next thing running to the next thing and actually we've
• 16:15
  forgotten how to just be and actually I think I'm terrible at it as someone that's quite neuro spicy
• 16:19
  as well like I can be hyper emotionally aware but I'm also thinking about five different things all
• 16:24
  at once and if you're someone that doesn't know me very well you might consider that as me being rude
• 16:28
  because I'm talking to you but you probably are thinking is she looking at her phone is she doing
• 16:33
  this is she is she here and it's and I think that can cause loneliness as well especially when because
• 16:38
  I'm at a stage in my career where I'm just working a lot because I can I would struggle to find lots
• 16:44
  of time in my day to be able to just sit and like be with someone like it would because I'm always
• 16:50
  doing the next thing but it's just a stage in my life right now and I think lots of people you know
• 16:54
  it doesn't it doesn't it's not even about being single because you might feel lonely in a
• 16:57
  relationship which I think is even worse yeah that's actually such a good point um but I think
• 17:01
  it's important that people realize that like it's not it's not something that's like you can't fix
• 17:06
  you can't you just need to kind of work at it and I don't know yeah it's just something I have
• 17:11
  thought about a lot and I think this stat that it's costing the government money is something
• 17:17
  that the governments across the world should be thinking about because you know when they
• 17:21
  pause whatever they freeze tax thresholds and we call something called fiscal drag where we're
• 17:27
  paying more tax based on the fact that yes technically we're earning more but the tax
• 17:30
  thresholds aren't moving it stunts growth and it stunts growth on so many angles because you go
• 17:34
  well I'm not going to try any harder at work because why would I when I'm only going to take
• 17:38
  home 40p on the pound of the every extra pound I earn let's say.
• 17:43
  Could you maybe explain fiscal
• 17:44
  drag as well for anyone that doesn't understand what that really means?
• 17:47
  Yeah so fiscal drag is
• 17:48
  effectively where the tax thresholds so the like the figures at which you start paying tax so in
• 17:53
  the UK we have like basic rate higher rate and additional and they're all at different levels
• 17:58
  if those don't rise with inflation or average earnings each year but your wage rises even by
• 18:03
  just a little bit you are going to be paying more tax basically on your salary and what happens as
• 18:09
  well in the uk specifically if you earn over a hundred thousand pounds you have something called
• 18:14
  this 60 tax trap where in theory you might end up only taking home 40p on the pound of extra
• 18:19
  every extra pound you are exactly and it's hindering growth because people get to that
• 18:25
  element or get get to that level of income and go well it's not worth me working for an extra 40p
• 18:31
  on the pound so I'm just not going to bother and then it stunts your kind of feeling of self-worth
• 18:36
  because maybe you're not going to push yourself to earn more you know you might then hold less
• 18:41
  enjoyment in your job and so you feel disassociated from it and then feel lonely so there are so many
• 18:45
  financial aspects an interesting way to look at it yeah there's so many financial aspects that
• 18:50
  lead to it like I get a lot of I get so much happiness from my job and but if I was being
• 18:57
  told that okay but for the next hour you're not going to get paid to do it i'd be a bit like okay
• 19:03
  i don't i don't mind because i love it but if i was being told okay well for the next 10 hours
• 19:06
  you're not going to get paid you sort of think what what like what's the point then and you so
• 19:11
  it doesn't matter how much you love your job or how much you love your career tax and the global
• 19:16
  and like government all play an impact and i think they should be talking about this because it it
• 19:19
  impacts our mental health and therefore impacts everything and you know i just think a happy world
• 19:24
  is a nice world but we're struggling with that right now i i definitely am you know read the news
• 19:29
  when i wake up and sometimes i think oh my god this is terrible the world is terrible
• 19:35
  you just have to be you know do your gratitude journal take a deep breath and keep moving
• 19:40
  meditations here and there yeah exactly um what i what i would say though is if you're listening
• 19:44
  to this and you are thinking yeah i do feel a bit lonely i think maybe there's actually comfort
• 19:50
  knowing that there's a lot of us that are feeling that way and you know reaching out to friends
• 19:56
  finding things that make you feel more connected in an incredibly disconnected society hopefully
• 20:00
  can start to bring some of that back I've I've this is I don't know if this is helpful for people
• 20:05
  but I we had a podcast we released at the end of last year which kind of our reflections on the
• 20:09
  air and I listened back to it and I honestly nearly told the team to like pull it actually
• 20:14
  I did tell the team to pull it down I was like I hate it I'm so embarrassed at how sad I sound
• 20:18
  like I sound so stressed and stressed and lonely and it was a really hard time and I have come into
• 20:24
  this year the classic new year new me and I have been trying to do really small things that have
• 20:30
  helped me feel more connected and I think when you feel connected to yourself and to the world
• 20:36
  around you you feel less lonely and even just super small things like if I'm having a cup of
• 20:41
  tea I don't know if this is like a bit weird with people but like noticing how warm the cup is like
• 20:45
  really small stuff like my feet are here now you know it's so easy to get really stressed out about
• 20:51
  how overwhelming the news can be and everything's moving so fast but you know you look at so many
• 20:56
  people who share their insights or wisdom on their deathbed and the things they say they're
• 21:00
  going to miss the most are the small mundane moments and I think in those small mundane
• 21:04
  moments if you can just take a second to be grateful to be alive and healthy those little
• 21:09
  things accumulate to feeling more connected and less lonely well they have for me it's only been
• 21:13
  a month but like i've really noticed a difference something i started doing middle of last year
• 21:19
  is complimenting everyone it's a really it's it starts creepy but you get into it really good
• 21:23
  like you get in quite easily sometimes the creepiest times i've done it i've been in like
• 21:28
  in the gym changing room i have to really pull back um what when people are naked well no but
• 21:32
  this is a thing you have to wait for them to be in there nice but when so do you know what i do
• 21:36
  in the gym underwear yeah do you know what it's not it's not even far away from that like the gym
• 21:42
  the girls in my gym always look not like 10 out of 10 all of them they all like i don't know what
• 21:47
  it is with my gym but all of the girls like turn up in like their athleisure and they look incredible
• 21:51
  i find that quite annoying i'll be honest what like i would quite like to be able to go to the
• 21:55
  gym and not feel like i have to look like a teenager you do you but genuinely because i'm
• 22:00
  like shit everyone's hot no but when i so this is the thing so i've started doing this year
• 22:05
  is if i see anything that i think is lovely i will just tell the person and it and it does you
• 22:10
  have to you do have to like really put your big girl pants on and just be brave enough and some
• 22:14
  people are just going to look at you sideways and be like what did she just say and some people
• 22:18
  but you know what 99% of the time it lights up people's faces because I will go like oh my god
• 22:25
  I love that cardi and they go usually it's a very British thing I don't know if there's an
• 22:29
  Australian thing but very British two pounds yeah two pounds from Tesco and I'm like okay
• 22:35
  that's fine don't worry yeah I was like you don't that's fine or I'm like your hair looks amazing
• 22:40
  or I just anything that I'm thinking a compliment by the way I feel like if I'm thinking it I need
• 22:48
  to just start saying it especially if it's obviously not if it's the other way around if
• 22:51
  I'm like you look awful but like I don't I just but I just don't think too much like that anymore
• 22:57
  I just started I started doing it last year and I get so much joy out of seeing people's face light
• 23:02
  up when you give them a compliment and especially in random places like I've done it like walking
• 23:07
  down the street where this girl just looked no that you know it was the other day there were
• 23:11
  these two girls walking in front of me and they were clearly doing their like hot girl walk or
• 23:14
  something and they were like head to toe in like athleisure but had really cool jacket on like a
• 23:20
  cap they had a little bag it it just worked and they were like swagging down the wall like walking
• 23:26
  in front of me and I followed them not in a creepy way but for like about a minute and then I just
• 23:30
  like I went excuse me and they like both turned around I was like can I just say you both look
• 23:34
  so iconic oh my god they were like what and I was like you do they're like no we don't I was like
• 23:40
  you guys I was like if I was like not a creep like it would like this shot is amazing and they're
• 23:46
  like oh thank you so much and it's I think that's the other thing that maybe could be one of the
• 23:50
  things that cures loneliness is like just being kinder to people because I think I now have
• 23:55
  friends at the gym and in life where I think it's actually started I maybe they're not my best
• 23:59
  friends I don't but like at the gym girls I've complimented that have then come up to me in the
• 24:05
  queue for the Pilates class or whatever because they think they know me and that's great and I
• 24:10
  love that and I I just think we don't compliment people enough we don't make people feel good about
• 24:14
  themselves I think sometimes we're really concerned with making us okay all the time and making sure
• 24:20
  we're fine that we forget that we are allowed to like give it out and be like you look amazing and
• 24:25
  like I literally did this in the park the other day I was going for my run I've just started running
• 24:29
  is very unusual and quite exciting for me and I was absolutely panting like a golden retriever and
• 24:36
  there was this woman walking through the park and this finish she had this gorgeous I saw a really
• 24:40
  cute golden retriever this morning that's why it's in my head her hair looked amazing and I
• 24:44
  literally took my earbud out and yelled at her and she thought I was yelling something and then I was
• 24:48
  like so I was just saying your hair is really nice and she was like oh thank you yeah and I did I
• 24:53
  felt so good from it yeah exactly like maybe a day and also we know as women how long it takes to do
• 24:57
  all of this totally I don't wake up looking like this no I don't my hair is a full-time job and so
• 25:05
  every time I think people think that I get bored of the compliments when it comes to my hair and
• 25:08
  I never do because I'm like I didn't just wake up like this like this does take work and I do I curl
• 25:15
  my hair and I like I invest time in this and so if someone sees it and appreciates it the same with
• 25:19
  my job like I spend a lot of time putting content together when it comes to finance and so when
• 25:24
  someone goes that's amazing I'm like thank you thank you so much it was not easy and I think
• 25:29
  that I don't read their messages or whatever and I do and I always reply to people like you've made
• 25:33
  my day because actually everything requires work and I think yeah I think one of the things I would
• 25:39
  be doing if we were trying to cure loneliness would be just give more compliments and also
• 25:43
  just say what's in your mind like people you know even if it's random I don't I'm trying to think
• 25:47
  of the most random thing I've done but it's you know when someone looks like they're really
• 25:52
  confident there's this guy actually i've followed for years and he's called the confidence guy do
• 25:57
  you know he followed me back really early on yeah yeah and i almost i almost lost it like i was like
• 26:02
  i was just thinking does he actually actually do that is it really i think when because he finds
• 26:08
  the most famous people in the world yeah i think when he started because i remember following him
• 26:12
  oh my god it's a 1.4 million i remember following him when he had like a hundred thousand followers
• 26:16
  and he followed me back i wonder if he still does let's see um oh yeah he does um so he still
• 26:21
  follow me um you should be like i'll be on the corner of fifth and fourth on the 12th i won't
• 26:27
  lie to you if i ever went to new york i was a hunt i'm 100% dm him definitely but he's um he's
• 26:31
  called david carmy and he used to when he had like 100 000 followers it was very um low budget and he
• 26:37
  would just walk up to people with his phone kind of thing and be like tell me like where you got
• 26:41
  your confidence from and i and i now i still follow him but yeah you're right he now interviews
• 26:46
  like the most famous people in the world but but like just seriously famous i'm like yeah is that
• 26:51
  really not planned i feel like it must be at this point but i just love that he but that is such a
• 26:56
  great thing to be like you look really or even just telling do you know what's the other thing
• 27:00
  is like telling women that like they are killing it in their career or like they are so intelligent
• 27:06
  like compliments that aren't actually also about your appearance i think is really good like i
• 27:10
  always go to appearance because i'm this sounds so bad but i'm often thinking about my own so
• 27:14
  yeah that's something that i'll compliment someone else on but actually i think you know if someone
• 27:19
  said you you've got such good energy like every time I see you you make me feel energized and
• 27:24
  happy I'll be like all right I'm done for the week off I go yeah that's me done exactly and I
• 27:29
  think that's the thing as well or if someone does something I'm like you are so intelligent
• 27:33
  or like oh my god you read like just telling people things that are really obvious but we
• 27:37
  just don't tell people because especially with social media people are very quick to like let
• 27:42
  me know if they don't like something and actually it's the people that tell me that like I've helped
• 27:47
  them or whatever and that it makes my day and selfishly it's some of it's kind of the reason
• 27:51
  I keep going because social media to be honest talking about loneliness social media is one of
• 27:57
  the loneliest places because you work on your own like you work and you have to show up every day
• 28:02
  even when people aren't watching you have to do things you don't want to do you know people in
• 28:07
  your space are technically your competitors but you're trying to be friends with everyone it's
• 28:10
  like you know and also for me like okay is my hair nice is my eye like did my eye look nice
• 28:15
  do my my eyes even not one eye um do my eyes of lies like is my lipstick okay am i dressed okay
• 28:22
  does like all of these things come in to just looking at the camera and talking down the lens
• 28:27
  and i think people forget all of that and you know we have to do it even on days like we spoke
• 28:33
  about before the podcast like on the days we don't want to like when we're due on our monthly period
• 28:37
  like you know there are times when i really don't want to do this but i have to and i have to show
• 28:41
  up and I think they're the times when loneliness hits the hardest and I actually agree I think it's
• 28:46
  the same with podcasting because you have to show up and people sort of assume that you're
• 28:51
  and I don't know sometimes I feel like that when I when I meet people who listen to the curve
• 28:55
  there's a if I'm having a really shitty day which we all do I sort of look back and I feel embarrassed
• 29:01
  about how I interact with somebody or I could have been more fun or more you know excited or whatever
• 29:07
  but actually the truth is
• 29:08
  the podcast is a tiny snapshot of who I am
• 29:10
  and I don't show up like this
• 29:12
  24 hours a day.
• 29:13
  I have times
• 29:14
  where I feel awful too and I think
• 29:16
  that the pressure to sort of be your best version
• 29:18
  whether it's socials or podcasts is hard
• 29:20
  but can we just pause?
• 29:21
  I'm actually about to pee my pants.
• 29:23
  Thank you so much for listening
• 29:24
  to Raising the Curb.
• 29:25
  These conversations are designed
• 29:26
  to teach you everything you need to know to be better
• 29:28
  with your money, from saving to investing
• 29:30
  to talking with your friends about your salaries, all of that stuff.
• 29:32
  And if you like what you heard, we would
• 29:34
  love if you could please hit subscribe wherever
• 29:36
  you're listening and leave a comment.
• 29:37
  Let us know what you thought about the episode.
• 29:39
  And it only takes one second and it would really make our week, our month, our year.
• 29:44
  Yeah.
• 29:44
  Yeah.
• 29:44
  So please do it.
• 29:45
  Okay.
• 29:46
  Love you.
• 29:46
  Bye.
• 29:48
  Okay.
• 29:48
  Quickly, the curve was created to empower and educate you about investing,
• 29:51
  but we are not financial advisors.
• 29:54
  Our platform exists for educational purposes only,
• 29:56
  and it doesn't provide personalized investing advice for your individual needs and should
• 30:00
  not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
• 30:03
  and always remember to do your own research before making any investment or financial decision
• 30:08
  we're here for any knowledge and support you need but the final call is always yours
• 30:12
  and thanks for being here you got this yeah we know you got this