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Comfortable Being Me with Vanessa Anderson · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who grew into hymnals
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  Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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  Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored ALCHEMYO chariots to keep
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: opal brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant. This
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: is And the ancestors told me that you would come
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  Speaker 1: to give wisdom thousands. They said you would come Dropping
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  Speaker 1: drop Hey, st w. Brown, you are locted to the
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Dropping Gym's podcast today on the show, I have Vanessa
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  Speaker 1: Anderson now. Vanessa is the owner and senior account executive
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  Speaker 1: at a MPR Group. AMPR Group is a boutique public
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  Speaker 1: relations firm that specializes in entertainment, digital and lifestyle industries.
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  Speaker 1: She has previously done publicity for shows like TMZ, The Real,
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  Speaker 1: The Preachers, and Black Lightning, and her current client roster
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  Speaker 1: includes some of your favorite people like the phenomenal Terrae,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Marcia Martin, Cassie Molina Masukis, and the initiative Destination Crenshaw Vanessas,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: also the woman behind My Baby Shower. She is one
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: of my best friends in the whole wide world. One
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  Speaker 1: time for the best friends. That's the best acomplishment on
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  Speaker 1: the list. She is one of the most um just
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  Speaker 1: spectacular women that I'm really really blessed to know. And
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I'll get into all of the wise as we go
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: throughout this episode, so clearly I'll be crying the whole episode.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: It's what you're telling me me your tears. I want
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: them all. You are joining me today on this show,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: and I was really excited that you said yes, not
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: because you know, I thought you would say no, but
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: you are also a very very private person, and you
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: are somebody for reasons I do not understand, like to
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: shy away from attention versus there's a lot of people
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  Speaker 1: on the gram right that post which is totally their prerogative.
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  Speaker 1: You know, they post every detail about what they do professionally,
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  Speaker 1: and that serves a lot of people who get to
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  Speaker 1: see that and hopefully embody some of those traits. On
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  Speaker 1: the flip side of that, because you influence so many
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: people behind the scenes, and you know, you choose to
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: be a little bit more private, so help them to
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  Speaker 1: squeeze some stuff out of today. Yeah, I mean, I
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: feel that my job is to make other people famous.
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  Speaker 1: It's not for me to be famous, and I think
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  Speaker 1: that the best way that I can be most effective
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  Speaker 1: in doing my job is to really be behind the scenes.
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  Speaker 1: On the flip side, I do realize that I occupy
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  Speaker 1: a really specific special place and it's important that I
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  Speaker 1: make myself available, um, whether it's you know, through one
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  Speaker 1: on one conversations or through something like this for people
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  Speaker 1: to hear my story, or perhaps I can give someone
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  Speaker 1: a piece of advice, or someone who maybe is thinking
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  Speaker 1: about getting into public relations but doesn't really have an
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  Speaker 1: understanding of it, or whatever the case, or just entertainment
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  Speaker 1: in general, maybe I can spark something for them, um,
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  Speaker 1: especially for a woman or a person of color um
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  Speaker 1: to get into the business. So I don't feel like
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  Speaker 1: a thousand percent comfortable doing stuff like this, but I
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  Speaker 1: understand the need for it. Yes, yes, And I'm really
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  Speaker 1: glad that you do now because I think you know,
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  Speaker 1: yours is a story personally and professionally that I think
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  Speaker 1: is really really powerful and we'll really connect with so
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  Speaker 1: many people. And I also think that, um, I mean,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: you're rock star, so I just want you. I am
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  Speaker 1: that a rock star. I am a regular girl from
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Crnshawn King, just out here trying to be great. But
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: let's lean into that a little bit, UM, if you
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  Speaker 1: would give our listeners a little bit of background, share
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  Speaker 1: some of your story. So let's see. I am born
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  Speaker 1: and raised in Los Angeles, uh Grip with my grandparents. UM.
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  Speaker 1: I was living with both of my my mom and
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  Speaker 1: my dad up until I was five. UM, and from
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  Speaker 1: five and on was with my grandparents. Went to Catholic school,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: went to a little Catholic school called Transfiguration, grew up
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  Speaker 1: in South l A. UM got bussed to Archer, the
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  Speaker 1: Archer School for Girls in Brentwood for high school. My
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  Speaker 1: grandmother I think identified really early on. I was a
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  Speaker 1: pretty good student, you know, in elementary school and middle school.
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  Speaker 1: But I think my grandmother really identified that maybe I
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  Speaker 1: was a little bit different and she wanted to be
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  Speaker 1: sure that I had all the resources at my disposal
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  Speaker 1: to really bloom into whoever I was supposed to be.
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  Speaker 1: And then after that, UM went to New York, went
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  Speaker 1: to Columbia for undergrad Well came back. What was that
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  Speaker 1: experience like kind of you know, walking the line between
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: these two worlds. You go from growing up in South
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  Speaker 1: l A. Which we now call that call it that affectionately,
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  Speaker 1: but formerly known as South Central, and then going to
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  Speaker 1: an area like Brentwood, which I'm presuming you know had
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  Speaker 1: a high attendance rate of probably Caucasian. Absolutely, yeah, I
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  Speaker 1: mean it was interesting, right because I had gone to
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: school down the street from my house. For most of
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: my life, UM had always been with brown and black kids,
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  Speaker 1: mainly black kid. Um, all of my all of my
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: friends were black. You know, maybe I had one or
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  Speaker 1: two even Latino friends, but all of my friends were black.
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  Speaker 1: I self identified as black, even though my mom is
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  Speaker 1: from Al Salvador. You know, I considered myself to just
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  Speaker 1: be a black girl. And it was jarring, you know. Um,
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  Speaker 1: even the process of getting to school was weird and
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  Speaker 1: different for me because you know, my grandparents would drop
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  Speaker 1: me off and be there early to pick me up
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  Speaker 1: from school. I never had to wait, I didn't have
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  Speaker 1: a commute. Um, all the sexual free time, not spending
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  Speaker 1: traffic right well yeah, because like coming from Brentwood in
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  Speaker 1: the afternoon was like an hour and a half two
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  Speaker 1: hours sometimes just to get to my bus stop, um,
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  Speaker 1: and then you know, driving another ten or fifteen to
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  Speaker 1: get home. So even that experience was new for me.
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  Speaker 1: But as it pertains to the kids and the students,
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  Speaker 1: I think what really helped was that, Um, I was
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  Speaker 1: really smart, and I knew that, if nothing else, that
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  Speaker 1: was always going to set me apart, no matter what
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  Speaker 1: the setting was like, no matter who was in the classroom,
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  Speaker 1: I was always going to be one of these smarter people.
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  Speaker 1: So I knew that that was just sort of the
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: position that I had. UM. I do think that being
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  Speaker 1: at Archer, though, was really eye opening for me. I
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  Speaker 1: think that it allowed me to see that people are
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: that white people live life very differently from us, and
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  Speaker 1: that people with like generational wealth or just you know,
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  Speaker 1: real real, real wealth, um, they live a different life
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  Speaker 1: than I did. And I did like this air of
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: care freeness, oh absolutely is not typically experienced in our community. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: there's a there's a sense of anything as possible, right,
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  Speaker 1: and they never second guess themselves, at least not publicly. Um,
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  Speaker 1: you know, there's never a fear. That's what they lack
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: is fear. Fear, you know, because if you didn't have
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  Speaker 1: to think about money, you would try so many different things.
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  Speaker 1: You would want to explore different parts of yourself if
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  Speaker 1: you didn't have fear. So from there you also went
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: to an Ivy League college who went to Barnard in
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  Speaker 1: New York, and that being this little l A girl,
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  Speaker 1: super l A girl, super. I didn't realize how l
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  Speaker 1: A I was until I left l A. Really that's
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  Speaker 1: how I felt when I moved to Oh my god,
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  Speaker 1: and I realized that I talked a little different, and
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  Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah. So the summer before my
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: senior year, I did a college program at Barnard. I
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: knew I wanted to go to New York. I definitely
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  Speaker 1: knew I wanted to go East Coast for college. So
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  Speaker 1: I found this program that Barnard had. It was called
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: the PCP program, which is the pre college program. It's
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I think it's like maybe two weeks or three weeks.
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  Speaker 1: I can't remember the length of it, but you like
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: move in, you live in the dorm, like, you know,
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  Speaker 1: you got to like the cafeteria. You like, you truly
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  Speaker 1: kind of immerse yourself in like a college experience. You
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  Speaker 1: take college level classes with professors. Yeah, so I did that,
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  Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, I love New York,
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  Speaker 1: I love Barnard, I love all things here. I need
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  Speaker 1: to figure out, like I gotta come back. So I
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: came back to you know, came back home to my
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: senior year. I actually had done early decision for you pen,
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  Speaker 1: so I was going to go there um. And then
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  Speaker 1: my grandmother died unexpectedly January UM two thousand three and
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  Speaker 1: in the middle of literally in the middle of senior year.
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  Speaker 1: And when she passed away, I realized that maybe I
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  Speaker 1: didn't have the kind of time that I thought I did.
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  Speaker 1: You know, her health didn't have the kind of time
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  Speaker 1: you thought you had. Well. I just felt like anything
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  Speaker 1: could happen, right, and if there are things that you
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  Speaker 1: want to do, you should just do them, because I
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  Speaker 1: anything could happen, Like, maybe I don't have I'm not
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  Speaker 1: in control of the time I have on the earth.
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  Speaker 1: So if that's the case, even though it came through pain.
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  Speaker 1: What a incredible lesson to get at such a young age. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: because it was so unexpected. We weren't you know, like
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  Speaker 1: at that point, we were like figuring out like prom
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  Speaker 1: dates and we were planning like graduation stuff. So I
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: never had I never saw I never really saw my
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  Speaker 1: life without my grandmother. But I definitely never imagined that
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  Speaker 1: I wouldn't finish high school, or that I would finish
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: high school and she wouldn't be there. So I was like,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: I really want to go to New York and I
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: really want to go to Barnard. And even though I
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: was already early decision for for you Pen, I applied anyway,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: and I said, you know, I said, if I get in,
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go like and I'll just figure it out.
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  Speaker 1: And I got in and you Pen had given me
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: a really great financial hate packet and Barnard was like,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: not as great. So I was like, so look, Bernard, um,
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  Speaker 1: I want to come, but I'm gonna need you to
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: run me that money. And they did wow, And I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: was like, Okay, there's something else that play here. So
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, let me go. And it was one
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: of the greatest decisions. No, it's probably the greatest decision
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I've ever made. We did a really beautiful interview recently
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: with the website Living civil dot com and they did
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  Speaker 1: a profile on you and kind of your rise like
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: for women Women's Month. Yes, yeah, what is the full
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: name of that International Women's History Months? Sorry? And uh,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: you know I loved they dived into a lot of
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: the early parts of your career, some of the stresses
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: that happened after college and in that sweet space of
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: finding out, you know, what do I want to do?
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: And another great lesson from you in proactiveness, I feel
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  Speaker 1: like an encourageousness. In this article, you shared that you know,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: you had taken a couple of smaller level jobs because
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: you were trying to figure it out. And it was
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: during the recession. You couldn't you know, you weren't finding
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: yourself easily hired, even coming from the Ivy League university.
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  Speaker 1: And something I loved is that you who contacted the
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: aunt of someone you went to high school with who
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: worked in the entertainment business, and you just called him
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: up and he said, hey, I need some advice on
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: what to do with my life. And they helped you
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: kind of walk through what career path you could fall
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: in love with how to kind of get it going,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: and that's when you discovered publicity, that that was the
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  Speaker 1: calling for you. And I was like, there has to
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  Speaker 1: be some kind of career out there that involves me
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: helping people, but it's with music and TV. And I
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  Speaker 1: was like, well, do I know anybody that works in
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: music and TV? And I was like, oh, Nina Shaw
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: aunt Nina, And I was like, let me just send her.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Let me just email her real quick and just see
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: what happens. She busy, she may not even respond, or
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: she may send me to someone else, and maybe that
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: person can help me and inspire me. And we had
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: a conversation. She was like, you know, she kind of
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: thought about it for a second, and she was like,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: I think you'd be really great as a publicist. And
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I was like, what is a publicist? What does that do?
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Do they do? How does that work? And she really
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: was like, read these books, talk to these people, call
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: me back, and then like, hunga, I love that. Read
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: the books because I was very like what is this
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Like how does she identify what she thought was the
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: perfect career for me so quickly? Right? And I was like, okay,
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: so I read the books talk to the people. Caught
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: her back probably like within the week, and I was like,
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: oh my god, yes, this is it. This is literally
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: the perfect job for me. And she was gracious enough
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: to help me find like an internship, which then became
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: like an assistant position, and that was really the beginnings
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, I want to dive in for a
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: second and talk about how we know each other. Oh
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: so Vanessa and I originally met in a summer school
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: program when we were ninth going to into the ninth grade. Yeah, yeah,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I think I had just turned fourteen maybe, And it
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: was Loyola. Loyola High School in l A. It's all
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: boys school, which listens. That provided as a very interesting
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: summer for me. UM. So it's all boys high school,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: but in um in the summertime it would be co ed,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: and so a lot of the girls schools UM in
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: the area would go there for summer. I was not
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: in the area. I actually at that time my mom
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: had moved us. You know, I've lived everywhere that Los
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Angeles has to offer. Literally, I have a photo of us. Oh,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: never show it anywhere. That better never be a throwback Thursday.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: First of all, you looked cute. I looked like what.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, why will they let me out? That's
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: like the first summer that I found my cute, right,
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: my cute had not been discovered at all. That's the
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: first summer that I kind of start leaning towards being cute.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Before that, I had been a very awkward hot mess
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: um every year prior of that. You looked cute. I
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: can I'm envisioning this one photo and you looked cute.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: You had like a white shirt on, like, you looked cute.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: You you were cute. We didn't cross paths after that.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: And then I remember Twitter had just started, so this
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: is also a very long time ago. It was what
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: probably oh seven is maybe yeah, yeah, so Twitter had
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: just started by that time. I'm working in radio. I'm
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: working at KID in l A. I had just i
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: think signed up for Twitter, and I was a tweeting
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: And back then Twitter was really different. They were like
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: five people on Twitter. Five people on Twitter, and most
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: of the people were in the industry. It was not
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: really you know, the everyday person was typically on Twitter.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: It was really a space of primarily creatives and just
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: l A and New York industry people and that's it.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: And you could like tweet people or like send the
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: messages no matter, even celebrities super and they would like
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: respond and you knew it was them. It wasn't like
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: someone managing their team or yeah. I used to get
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: actually so many celebrities to sign up for Twitter because
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: they'd come to the station and never have heard of it,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: And then I would help them like start their accounts.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you a check account? Like? Where
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: are you a check? So I remember I'm on Twitter
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: tweeting and I get this tweet from you and it
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: was like, is this Devin from Loyola Summer School? I
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: was like what? And so, yeah, long story short, that's
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: how we are reconnected. This is now what maybe fifteen
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: years ago Jesus Christ, and then we've been you remember,
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I feel like we must have connect. We connected on
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: there and then shortly thereafter went to a Roma Cafe
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: on since it and I feel like that's when I
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: told you that this is what I was. I was
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: getting into publicity. And I don't know if you remember this,
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: but I actually asked you. I was like, can I
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: be your plus one? Two things? I don't know if
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: you remember that. I really it was a very a
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: pivotal moment for me because I didn't really have a
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: connection because at the time I was doing UM. My
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: first job in publicity was for like an echo friendly
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: green initiative focused company, and while that was important, I
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: wasn't passionate about it. I really wanted to do music.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: But I left that company and ended up going into
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: fashion PR again was fine. I was learning a lot
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: of stuff because a lot of those skills are transferable
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: no matter what the field is UM, but again wasn't
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: passionate about it. I really wanted to do music because
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I love music, UM, and you were the only person
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: that I knew that was in the music business. So
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, maybe she'll let me just roll with
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: her to places, and you did. I don't know if
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: you really it's so long ago. Well, I definitely remember
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: that when we connected. We started rolling every rolling yeah,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: and at that time especially oh my god, every night
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: of the week something like yeah, you were always out
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: and I remember just being like, can I be your
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: plus one? And you were like, yeah, girl, of course.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: But it was so important because I met so many
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: people through that experience, like either you knew them and
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: we're like, oh, this is my girl, Vanessa or like
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: you know at that point. At that time, I was
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: really big on networking and I had told myself, you know,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: if I was going out to event that by the
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: end of the night, I needed twenty cards, and before
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: I would leave wherever I was, even if I was
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: sitting in the car, I would send an email to
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: everyone just because I would still be fresh on their mind.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I wanted to send the email. I literally used to
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: do that too when I when I got started, I
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: would collect all these cards and I had like a
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: little bag that I would put them all into, and
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: then the very next morning, the top of the morning,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: I would wake up and I would email every single
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: person whose card I got out with the Hey, you
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: know great to me. I would love to collecorate in
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: the future, or you know, yeah, cut from the same
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: tell me tell me a little bit. I kind of
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: want to dive into this because I really love the
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: relationship that you have with Issa. Issa is one of
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: the biggest stars of our generation. She is absolutely she's
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: pretty special, hashtag goals for so many people all over
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: the world. Extremely hard working woman. You know I first
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: heard of her, I want to say, in oh seven
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: because of you you know, you guys started working together.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I believe before she even started her YouTube show shortly Thereat.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: I think she was like episode five, four or five
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: of the first season of Acora Black Girl. And I
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: remember you telling me about her, like, Yo, there's this
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: girl Issa. She's fired, she's doing this and that crazy.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: And I've been together a long time, really really yeah,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: And I love that not only have you guys continue
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: to work together and grow together, but you seem to
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: have a really really special bond as women and as friends,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: and a really kind of kindred karmic relationship, like a
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: grade a deep understanding of who one another is as
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: a woman. So watching you guys, because I've been around
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: both of you together, um sometimes and watching you guys
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: kind of exist with one another, it's just there's a
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: specialness there. Yeah. I'm I'm confident that I will never
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: get another client like that, or that I'll never have
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: that relationship with another client. UM. I think, not to
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: be like all like sappy or anything, but I think
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: that Issa is kind of like a soul mate of mine. Yeah,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I see that, Um. And also like we put in
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: a lot of years with each other, and we started together,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: you know, we really came up in this business together.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I think that we've learned a lot with each other,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: watching each other. Um. And I'm really really grateful to
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: have her as a client period. And then I'm doubly
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: grateful to have her as like a sounding board, someone
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I convent to, someone I can go to for advice, UM,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: and someone who is truly truly invested in me and
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: my success and my company's success. She, you know, is
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: really invested in the women that I work with that
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: I hire. Like she really cares UM in a way
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: where typically just other people, even friends, don't care, you know,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: to that level. Um. Definitely, um surpasses what I think
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: most people would have for like a publicist talent relationship
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, I think we see each other
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: as kind of like I definitely, I'll say this, I
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: see her as an extension of like my right or
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: left hand. Yeah. And I don't typically make any major
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: like business decisions without running them by her. Yeah. We
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: really value each other's opinions, which is very hard to find. Yeah,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: because we know that it comes from a place of love.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Though your situation is very special and very different, especially
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: because you guys, we're both growing your passions at the
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: same time together and both of you ended up being
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: able to take off in really big ways and expand.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: But what are maybe some tips you can give for
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: anybody that has a like a working relationship with a friend,
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: because that is tough territory to navigate sometimes. Well, I think,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: if I'm actually being completely honest, I think working with
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: friends is really, really, really difficult. The thing that's different
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: about me and Issa too is we were not friends first.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: We just had a regular working relationship, and over the
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: years have become friends. And even then, there's still a boundary,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: like there's still a line there. You know, I'm I'm
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: not her best friend. She has best friends, She's not
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: my best friend. I have best friends. Like, does she
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: know the all the inner workings of my life? No?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Do I probably know more about hers just by the
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: function of my job, Yes, But you know, there's there's
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: still things that we keep to ourselves, you know, that
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: are not a part of our relationship. But when you
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: have a friend that you're working with and you've already
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: been friends and you're getting into a business relationship, you
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I would say the biggest tip is that you guys
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: have to maintain a boundary between this is our working
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: relationship and this is our personal relationship. You can't throw
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: personal ship in somebody's face and vice versa. That's not fair.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: And if your talent or even if you're you know,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I'll use my sort of career as an example. If
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: you're a publicist and you're representing a friend and they
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: come to you and say, hey, look, I didn't like
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: the way that we did X, Y and Z, or
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: I really want us to think about this in a
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: different way. You need to be able to receive that
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: feedback and not be offended as a friend. And that's hard.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: It's very difficult, you know. And if you're if you
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: and this is the thing, you know, certain friends you
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: can't work with, So don't force it. Just say you
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: know a girl, I'm not the best fit, but let
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: me find somebody for you. Right. But if you do
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: have a friend where you're like, I think that this
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: is something that we could work on together, being really
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: clear upfront about maintaining boundary ease um, being open to
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: constructive criticism from each other and not being offended by
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: it and learning from it. I think that that's so key.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: There are various points of your career. You have shared
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: different times with me where people have wanted to buy
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: you out. What made you decide to bet on yourself
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: and keep your company yours when you've had big checks
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: dangled in front of you. So this happened a lot.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Last year. I probably got about seven offers from major
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: PR companies who wanted to buy my company out, and
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: some of them the offers were phenomenal, almost to the
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: point I was like, Um, I think you have me
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: confused extra zero to this. This is a lot um
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: to the other side of it, where I was like, Um,
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: you must not know who I am, right, you got me,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: you know so. But I'll say this, I if someone
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: gave me a phenomenal offer that was just like life changing,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: it would be something I would consider. Otherwise it's not
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: worth it to me. And the main reason why it's
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: not worth it is because when I go to the
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: walkthrough for the Golden Globe, when I go to the
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: publicists walkthrough for the Emmy's, I am oftentimes if there's
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: maybe a hundred and fifty two hundred publicists there, I'm
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: maybe one of two publicists there. And if I'm one
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: of two publicists there, um, I'm definitely the only one
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: that owns her own company, and I have to always
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: remember that when I have these meetings with these big,
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: large companies who are like, hey, we want to, you know,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: buy you out. We want you to come in house,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: and you know we want you to, you know, just
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: be an employee. I have to tell myself, why would
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: you do that? Like, you've spent all your money, all
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: your money, You've put in so much time, You've sacrificed
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: so much, You've you know, lost for friends, gain friends,
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: lost boyfriends, like you've given up, You've sacrificed so much
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: for this. Why then would you at your not even
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: at my peak, Because I'm not at my peak. I'm
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: on my climb right, I'm climbing up. I'm ascending. Why
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: would you now decide all right, let me go work
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: over here. That's part of it. The other part is
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: I don't need to do it. I make fine money,
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I have the life that I want. I'm able to
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: do what I want when I want. And the main
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: reason why I started the company was because I often
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: felt that I was the smartest, I was smarter than
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: my boss's and I wanted to work with the clients
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to work with. I didn't want to
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: be assigned, you know, someone that I didn't believe in.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to work with men who were misogynistic.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to work with women who you know,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: didn't care about other women of color or you know,
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: just other women. I just never wanted to be forced
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: to work with people who I wasn't passionate about. And
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: if I went in house, no matter what the company
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: was one, I would never be working for a black
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: woman because no agencies, large agencies are owned by black women,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: none of them. And I and I wasn't going. I
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: didn't want to work for someone that didn't look like me,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: and I didn't want to be someone's puppet. And I
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: didn't want to be the black girl that you pull
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: into the room to lock the client in. You weren't
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: going to use me in that way. UM. So, until
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: there is another woman, another black woman, that owns a
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: major PR company who will allow me to work with
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: the clients that I want to work work on, UM
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and who will not use me as their token black woman.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: Until that situation comes along, I think little AMPR group
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: will just be out here. We can have it. You
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: threw you were behind the huge Emmy party that kind
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: of took over social media this past year after the Emmys.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: It was like the Black Party. It was you saw
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: all of a list everybody, but also not just a list,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to make it sound over exclusive,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: like it was just so many of the incredible black
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: creatives and faces and talents, both in front of the camera,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: behind the scenes, different parts of the industry. But you
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: helped create this massive, massive party. Yeah about that experience,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: so even how it came about, But what did it
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: feel like? Yeah, so I've been blessed enough to, you know,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: have clients nominated or presenting at major award shows Emmy's,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Golden Globes, Oscars, Grammys, etcetera. And you go to these
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: events and afterwards, you know, you go to these big
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: award shows and afterwards like Netflix has a party, who
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: has a party, HBO, you know, Fox FX. However, everyone
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: has the networks in the studios, all do parties, and
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: you go to the parties without a doubt. Every single
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: party there is what we call the Black corner, also
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: affectionately known as corner, right, and it's all the black
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: people have found each other and have congregated in this
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: one section. And what I've learned from that though, is
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: that two things. One, if you're not at the top
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: of the call sheet, you don't get invited, even if
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: you're on the show. So say, if you're on the show,
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: even if you're on the show, if you're not at
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: the top of the call sheet, they won't even extend
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: and invite to you. For sure, if you are behind
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: the scenes, if you're a producer, um sometimes if you're
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: lower than like an executive producer or a co e P,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: if you're a writer, you don't get invited. So for
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: the seven of us that make it into the party,
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: we find each other because it's always the same ones,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: and we hang out in the corner with each other
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: because those parties and those awards shows and those events
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: are really not designed for us. Right we have been
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: invited to them, but they're not there for us. The
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: music is not good, the food is not good. Like
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: it's not a party or an event to celebrate us.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: And this has been happening for years and years and
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: years and years and years. So a really close friend
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: of mine, Rande Garrett, who works with Indris Elba and
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Jesse Williams. We were Actually it was Afro Punk weekend
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: in New York. I was out there with Issa and
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Angie Martinez was throwing a barbecue, like for Power one
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: oh five. We went to the barbecue. On the way out,
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Ronde stops me and he's like, I gotta talk to
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: you about something that I want to do. And he's like,
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: I only want to do it with you. I know
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: that you're the right person that I needs a partner
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: on this with. So I'm like, yeah, okay whatever. He
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: hits me later because I'm in work mode. I'm like, oh,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I's trying to plan a party with you, like I'm working.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: He hits me later, tells me what he wants to do,
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: and he's like, why don't we throw a party? And
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, I do. I'm not a party but
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I don't throw parties, like that's not what I do.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: And he's like, no, this is He's like, think about it,
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: you know, He's like, think about most of our talent
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: are not at the our talent, not him and I,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: but just in black talent, we're not at the top
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: of the call sheets. If our show is not nominated,
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: we definitely don't get invited to stuff, but people need
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: to be able to celebrate and celebrate in a way
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: and in a place that they feel inhibited and they
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: feel comfortable. And I was like, that's something I can
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: get behind. So I think I want to say maybe
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: within a week, two weeks now, I would say probably
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: within a week. Him and I, you know, we were like, Okay,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: what do we want the party to be? And then
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I really was there to execute, so you know, I
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: was literally outside the whole party for the most part,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: decided who got in who got out. Like I was like,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: if I'm going to throw this party, it's gonna be
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: black up. I think there were maybe two white people
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: in the whole party, and that was because they were
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: co signed by several other people, several other people, you know,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: and people knew immediately when they walked in. They were like, Oh,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: this is for us, this is a party where we
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: can be ourselves. There are a bunch of people like
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: we didn't even confiscate phones or put the phones in
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: those little pouches or whatever, and people didn't have their
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: phones out. They were dancing, they were drinking, they were
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: finally connecting with people that they've been wanting to but
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: hadn't had an opportunity to um. You know, rep no
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: reps were inside, So your manager couldn't come with you,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: your publicists couldn't come with you. You could come with
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: your friend, but that was it. You know. We really
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: wanted a place for people, especially for talent, I think,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: to really feel comfortable. And then because I work on
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: the backside, right like I'm one of the people in
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: the background. For me, it was really important that my
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: my agent friends like Ashley Holland at w ME or
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: you know, to lead the walkins s c A, that
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: they all felt like they had a place to come too,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: because people forget like all of these people behind the
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: scenes are the ones that make the TV shows happen,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: that make the movies happen, that get these projects greenlit.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: They also deserve a place to be celebrated and to
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: have fun. UM and yeah, you know that that last year,
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: Samsung was awesome and came in at I mean literally
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: like within a week and said we'll get behind you
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: and support you. Shout out to Woody UM and we
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: were like, we're gonna throw this party. And I knew
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: that because it was the first one and needed to
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: feel right and needed to the right people needed to
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: be in the room. Like, you know, this wasn't a
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: place for reality stars. You know, this wasn't a place
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: for you know, I'm an up and comings this and
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: this and this. No, this was really a place for
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: people who are actively working in the business and excelling
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: to come and be with their own people. Um, you know,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: I got a lot of very angry texts and emails
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: probably for like a month, me and Rande afterwards. You know,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: people who came that weren't weren't allowed in that I know,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: but I'm like, oh, yeah it was. I was very
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: particular about who I wanted in that room and how
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: that room was curated. Because this isn't you know, no shade.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: But like, this isn't Poppy, this isn't you know, bootsy,
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: this was this wasn't a club night. Yeah, you know, Okay,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: so hold on, walk me through this for a second. Yeah,
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: because this is part of the job, right, especially in
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: your job. Yeah, you in your job, you have to
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: be very nice, nasty. Yeah, you gotta be a sour
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: patch kid. You know what does that look like when
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: you are behind one of the biggest parties on one
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: of the biggest nights. You have people that you do
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: like in respect. I imagine you know that you probably
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: worked with various things or had great moments with. How
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: do you turn someone like that away from the door?
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: What do you say, I'm so sorry, I'm not going
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: to be able to let you in? Let you in?
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: So you didn't even like direct it like, oh no,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: because I'm not gonna lie it's too much work. So
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: and then when they say what do you mean why?
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: What do you say? Um, I don't know that part,
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean I would probably just be honest,
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: be like, I'm sorry for curating the room. Oh yeah,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: this is the thing. I'm so comfortable being me. I'm
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: so comfortable and this is the thing real talk. You know,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: if you were supposed to be in that room or not,
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: you weren't surprised if I didn't let you in, Okay,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Like you have Stan Lathan going into the party, who's
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: one of our legends, right, You have Tiffany Hattish coming in.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: You have Dave Chappelle in the room. You have like,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: you know, high level agents, you have real movers and
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: shakers in the business coming. So if this was just
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: for your ego or for the Instagram's If you couldn't
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: go in that room and actually start a project with
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: someone that was in that room, then that wasn't your room, right,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: And that's okay. Yeah, there were a bunch of people
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: who came who I knew and didn't know where. I'm like,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: you don't work. You pretend to work. Oh Jesus, come on,
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: this is another This is a whole different episode. You
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: pretend to work. This isn't the room for you. What
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: does pretend to work look like? Pretend to work looks
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: like you are a publicist and you have a client
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: on the carpet, yet you're posting a photo of you
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: at the step and repeat on your Instagram page. Ladies
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: and gentlemen, this is my very spicy friend Vanessa. You know,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: she is one of the kindest, sweetest, truly most absolutely
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: most generous people I've ever been in my life. Like
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: extremely thoughtful to a next level degree. But she stands
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: in her truth very very staunchly. Yeah, I'm I'm okay
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: to be me and me as many things you asked
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: me earlier, like what was one of the biggest I
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: think you said, tips or advice or something that I
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: had gotten and I was telling you about Tammy and
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: how she was saying, always be yourself, no matter what
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: the room is. The other piece of advice that I
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: got was from another mentor of my Black Woman shout
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: out to Yvette Nouel shore Um. She's Beyonce's publicist. So
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: I was like, she obviously has all the gems for me.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: She knows what she doing, she knows what she's doing. Um.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: And she really taught me, not even saying, but just
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: by how she lives that you can still be very
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: successful in this career by being a kind person and
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: being compassionate and being thoughtful. And I think that those
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: are parts of me that I were already there. I
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: think that there's this idea that those are not transferable
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: characteristics that play well in this field, but they do.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: So I'm happy to always be myself, but my delivery
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: can be kinder or my delivery can be not so kind,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: depending on what the situation is. So for like that party,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: there were some people where I was just like, bro,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen. I'm so sorry, you know, And
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: then there were other people who I was like, it's
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: eleven o'clock, the party's that capacity there may be going
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: to give me another forty five slots. I know that
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: these other big talent or big people are coming, I
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: can't I can't let you in. Or it's like, you know,
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: it's it's crazy because that night was like part me
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: being just a publicist and a regular person, and then
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: the other part was me really being like a party
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: promoter in fact, because I'm like, why did you come
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: to the party with seven people? Right? So none of
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: y'all are getting in now, you know. So like some
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: people took themselves up the running because they just didnified
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: by the rules, Like I told you you could just
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: come by yourself. I had you, not you plus twenty,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: So you know, it's it was difficult though. I got
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: several emails, several calls, several text messages from people that
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: were like, I can't believe you didn't tell me about
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: the party, or I can't believe you didn't invite me
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: to the party, and some people I literally just forgot
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: because literally I had a client nominated for an Emmy
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: for the first time, Issa I had Marseille. It was
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: literally like we had on board and Marseilles like three
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: or four days before the Emmys, and then I decided
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: to plan this party, so like they were close friends
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: of mine who I just forgot to invite. That will
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: never happen again because now we're like, we've got proper
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: time to plan it. But you know, I was like,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: I got real friends who I forgot to invite, and
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: you med and we don't do business together. You barely
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: know me, You barely like my photos on Instagram, Like
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: are you mad? Are you mad? You know? But you
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: know w the too. Like what you're kind of illustrating
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: at the same time is that you can be when
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: you stand in the fullness of who you are. That
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: also means you have layers, so you they're not mutually exclusive.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Like you, there is a duality, Like you can be
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: a hardass, you can just stern, You can be you know,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: very tightly curated, and you can also be very kind
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: and very generous and all and all of those things
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: can exist at one time. It is not you have
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: to be, you know, a bitch in the boardroom or
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: you can be a sweetheart. You know, you can have
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: all of those sides of yourself displayed. And I'm and
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: all of those sides of me are useful as certain
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: in different ways. In different ways. Yeah, yeah, I'm okay
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: with that. Look, there's probably people when we do the
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Emmy Party this year, because we will do the Emmy
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: Party again, Snap, I'm sure one for one, we'll get
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: a bigger venue so we can accommodate more peoful because
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: that was the other thing too, was because we planned
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: it so like we had no idea who was going
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: to come, who wasn't going to come, And because I
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: have planned so many events, I'm like, I'd rather have
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: us mother's space that I can fill up then a
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: big place that looks empty for the first round. For
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: the first round. Now we know y'all came out, so
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: next time you brought up that somebody came, you know,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: with seven girl, ten people. That's another part, especially when
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: you have industry relationships, It's like you have to be
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: really honest with one another about what the circumstances and
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: avoid all awkwardness and and just like save space for Okay,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: it may not be this time, but it may be
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: the next time. Because I think even over the years,
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: like you and I have gone to different events together
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: and we've each taken turns saying to the other person, okay, listen,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's only me getting in. If
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: it is, i'll catch you later. If there is a
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: chance for me to have us both, then we're good.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: Or you know, it's like sometimes you tell friends like
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: stay close by. I don't know for sure, but I'll
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: let you know either way, instead of like creating that
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: awkward space of oh, I don't want to leave. You know,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: it's okay, Lee, leave me. Leave me at the door, girl,
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: because we can't both get in, but you can get in,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: goes ye, flourish and then bring me along, right, bring
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: me to the next thing, or make a connection for
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: me that or make a connection that maybe I can use,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: like yeah, and and that's also part of the long
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: term vision, right and not taking things personally. Girl. When
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I get to something, When I get to a party
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: or an event or whatever and I can't get in,
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: you know what that is? That's guy saying, girl, go
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: home before we start to before we start to wrap up.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: If you would share with me some energy shifting books
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: or podcasts that you have in your life, something that
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: has shifted things for you or created a space for
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: you that you think are important for other people to
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: check out. So I actually think that the most important
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: it's not even a book, it's not a podcast, but
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: the most important relationship that I have that really made
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: me shift my energy and my thinking, um, is actually
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: my relationship with you. Really, Yeah, because I've seen you
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: transition and I've seen you become um or I've seen
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: you add new titles to your life. You know, I've
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: seen you go from you know, radio host to TV
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: personality to wife to mom podcast queen. Like I've seen
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: you add all these titles or responsibilities rather to your
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: plate with grace even if there's some challenges and accepting them,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: You've always been able to come out on the other
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: side with a lot of grace. Um. And that's really
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: been inspiring and it has changed how I see myself
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: right um. And then also just your journey into being
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: your better self has really forced me to be like,
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: is there a better self out there of you? Vanessa? No? Seriously,
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: you know, like because you wrote your book, I really
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: got into crystals, and because you had Karna blists, and
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: because I am a friend who supports friends by purchasing,
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: not by asking girl no, but really like I was like,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy this Rose Cords necklace and bought it
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: just because it was yours, right. I bought one of
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: the little satchels with the with the personals in bag. Yeah,
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: blisz bag. I bought that, not even keeping one, not
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: even with the intention of really using it, but just
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: to be like, I'm supporting my friend, but in the
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: process of getting it, being like, well, if I just
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: spent this money, what is this? You see what I'm saying.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: So like, in supporting you, ended up supporting myself. So like,
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: all these touch points for you that that are related
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: to you, UM has been really important for me. Um.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I think outside of you. Though. First let me say
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: thank you, thank you so much. I did not pay her.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: She didn't say that, she didn't. I only offered her
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: basic level water during the recording of this show. Okay,
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: first of all, this water is not basic. Okay, y'all
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: know I only drink outolin water. It's like super bum
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: And where do you even buy this water? He food Amazon?
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Oh this is fancy. Okay anyways, but yes, no, and
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I really do mean I honestly mean that. And even
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: if we weren't here together, I would have said that, Um,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: I think outside of her. Chryl Sandberg's boog Lenan was
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: really powerful for me. UM. Michelle Obama's book Becoming was
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: was really inspiring for me. UM. And then I would
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: say for podcasts, I really actually love when rap Radar
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: does interviews with like the jay Zs of the world
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: or like Anthony Sale like because those are people behind
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: well Jay not as much, but like an Anthony is
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: behind the scenes. UM, And I'm really inspired by those
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: people because that's a similar position that I play. Shout
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: out to Elliott and Brian to do. They do phenomenal UM.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: And then I think, you know, I love lov E,
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: I love her Ranson Randomness. I love that podcast. And
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I think what's really really important too is that we
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: incorporate laughter into our lives. And probably my favorite podcast
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: that does that for me is The Read because they
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: are cutting up the whole time and it's so fun
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: to me, Like it's I love being able to when
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: it like keeps me up on the latest and the
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: greatest because sometimes I missed the tea. UM. But you know,
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: they're also really really smart. They're very smart. I love
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: their opinions, I love their views on things, and they're
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: really funny, and I like having an opportunity to laugh
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: because my next important girl, like, adding more playfulness into
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: your life, especially as an adult, is so important. And
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: in that case, I can starting post starting poset, you know,
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: I can like, oh I haven't caught it. Let me
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: you know, on a commune. You know, we live in
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: l A. I live in South l A. Most of
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: my life, my work life is not in that area. Stuff. Yeah,
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time in traffic. I used
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: l A traffic specifically to nourish my spirit. Yes, yeah,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: I either driving silent in silence and just like yeah,
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: just kind of process. Oh my gosh, my best idea
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: to create space for your ideas and creat Yeah. Or
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: I listened to like audio book or something else that
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: feels good. I can't do an audio book. I tried.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: Lisa wanted me to read this this one book, um,
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: and she was like, just get the audio book. And
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: I got the audio book and I just couldn't. What
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: was the book? An American Marriage? Oh? I read that?
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, So did Joanna tell you to read that? No? Okay,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: I just I actually had just picked it up at
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: the airport to have like another book. It was, you know,
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: one of the ones on the forefront of release. Yes,
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, what is this about? So we were
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: in I feel like we were in Francesa and I
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: last year and she either had just finished it or
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: maybe she saw something and was inspired by it, and
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: she was like, have you read this book? And I
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: was like no, And I wanted to be like, girl,
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: when do I have what? I have read this book?
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: When do I have time? And I love to read.
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: I was like, when do I have time to read books? Um?
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: But she was like, you really should read this, And
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: I remember saying when do I have time to read books?
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: And she was like, girl, just get the audio book.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: So I download the audio book and the book side. No.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: I ended up just buying the hardcover and reading it.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: And it's phenomenal. It's an amazing book. Everyone should should
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: read it. But it really girls the turns um. But
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: I tried the audio book and I really could not
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: get into it, Like I really struggled with And I
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: tried a couple other ones, and I think I think
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: depending on the book and depending on who's reading, because
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: that has a lot to do with it. Yet that book,
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: particularly the way that that story is told, it would
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: be very confusing and hard to get into the story
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: as audio book, Yes, because it takes it has so
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: many perspectives and so many time jumps. Yes, too hard
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: to other books Like right now, I just finished Digital
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: minimal Minimalism as audiobook and The Conscious Parent as audio
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: book and those were great. Yeah, great, So yeah, just
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: try it again. Tell me some of the things that
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: you do to replenish yourself, things that I did to
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: replenish myself. Um, I regularly get massages import man, and
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: it's not just for the relaxation element, which by the way,
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of Swedish massage. I want to
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: go in there and I want you to whoop my
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: ass and I feel incredible the deepest of tissues. So
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: I would say last year, probably like around maybe the
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: time Insecure season three came out, which was July. UM,
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: I was flying a lot and my it was really
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: weighing on my body, and I was like, I've got
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: to really make some changes one with just in general
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: my health and like exercising and food and food choices
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: and stuff. But I was like, I really also need
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: to like literally take care of my body and I
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: need someone to work on my body consistently because you know,
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: even if you're in first class and you in a
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: life flat like, it's still a plane, it's not a
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: bit right, you know what I mean? And like it
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: starts to really affect your neck and your shoulders and
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: your hips and your legs and everything. So I really
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: incorporated getting regular massages into my schedule in the same
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: way I put in you know, meetings or or anything else.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: I'm glad, yeah, and it's been I've been able to
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: maintain like a healthy body and posture and stuff because
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: I do that so regularly. And also it's like setting
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: the intention in the universe and the spiritual realm that hey,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: I care about myself. Yes, like I am. I'm looking
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: to invite more abundance and by the care enjoy that
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: I treat myself with, I think the other way that
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: I really replenish myself is, Um, this is probably it's
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: probably sounds a little silly, but I'm really big on
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: my nails. Like I really love like having cool designs
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: and getting the latest trends. So I spent a lot
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: of money, um getting my nails done. And what I've
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: found is for that hour two hours I put my
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: phone down, I literally cannot be on the phone. UM,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: and it gives me maybe an hour or two hours
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: to just kind of disconnect and the only thing that
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: I have is me and the nail tech or nothing
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: or silence, you know. UM. And at the end, I'm
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: able to walk away with something really cool or dope
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: or pretty UM. And then lastly, something I've been doing
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: more recently. I think this may be news to you,
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: is UM. So I used to sew UM like I
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: know how to sew, like I can make clothes and
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: whatever else. And because my schedule has gotten so hectic,
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of time to complete projects right,
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: So I don't have time to like cut the patterns, out,
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: cut the fabric out, sit and sew it whatever. And
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: I need things are projects that I can see to completion,
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: right Like I need to be able to finish things
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: because in my work life there's so many things that
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: go unfinished. So I need some sort of energetic level
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: that's really important to be able to experience completion. Otherwise
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: it kind of creates this open ended space that stays
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: in you when you have all of these unfinished projects
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: around you look at that and even if you close
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: the circle when you either choose to complete it or
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: you choose to say I will not complete this and
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: put it away. But when you leave it, they're like, oh,
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: I gotta finish this. You really take away energy in
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: your life and out of your spirit that you could
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: be filled with space. Yeah, that's so man, I'm on
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: a higher level and didn't even know it. No, But
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: so what I started to do was I started um
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: making lotions. Oh yeah, so I was inspired by strippers. Um,
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: let's unpack this. Yes. So I did a semester at
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Spellman in college, and a lot of my dating experiences
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: were tied to the strip club at that time. I
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: don't know how it is now, but I would meet
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: dudes and they would be like, I want to go
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: to the strip club, and I was like, sure, why not?
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: And I ended up going a lot um And then
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: as my career has, you know, I've gotten into different
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: parts of my career. Sometimes I have to go to
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: the strip club with a client, or they want me
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: to go because some dudes invited them and they're like,
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know, he's sketched, like come with me. Or
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: sometimes they have really good food and that's the only
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: thing opened that part of the club that part, that
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: part for real, for real, or you know, I'm trying
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: to sign a client and he's meet me at the
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: strip club, or she's like me at the strip club.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, I'm at the strip club. So
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: after being in many shop clubs in many cities in
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: the United States and abroad, I was like, okay, because
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: I really love, like, well more stry skin. It's like
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: a thing of mine, especially for black people, because like
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: ash shows up for us, so like I need you
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: to not be ashy. I don't know what where or
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: what happened where I was like, I'm gonna start baking elections.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: I don't remember that point, but I do remember saying, Okay,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: if I'm gonna make a lotion, who's skin what I
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: want to mimic or what I want to have. Now
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: you've been to strip clubs, I'm sure no comment. Okay, Well,
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: from my experience, I will say, come on, I lived
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: in Houston first, so then yeah, so you know, but
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: a great stripper doesn't have a smell, and if she
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: does have a smell, it's a very pleasant smell and
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: she's super soft. How many people are you touching in
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: these clubs? It's not about that you get lost in
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: the weed. A point is they have super soft skin
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: and they don't have an odor despite the physical activity
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: that they're doing for hours. Yeah yeah, because when you
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: really think about that, because even if you're at a
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: party in a room full of people, you get a
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: little moist and a little you know, hot, and you
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: get hot, you get sweaty, and we at least at
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: a party have the protection of clothing to soak up sweat,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: funk whatever. So two things. One, this episode has taken
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: quite the term that I was not expecting. Um, but
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: let me let's let's really talk about the research that
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: was done here with your inspiration. I mean, were you
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: walking in I would be at clubs and I was like,
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: you know, if you if a lot of times, especially
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: when I was in Atlanta, dudes would get like lave
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: dances for you. Right, I'm not like some crazy prude
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: where I'm not going to like touch a leg or
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: like touch like I'm touching grab a cheek. I'm learning
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: a lot about you right now. Very respectful. I'm a
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: very respectful strip club patron. It's not a firm grab.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: It's just like more of a gentle pat, I don't. Again,
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: we're in the weeds. We're in the weeds. That doesn't matter.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: The point is a good stripper smells good and has
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: soft skin despite physical activity for hours. Okay, okay. So
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: I was like, how can I duplicate that? So when
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: I made When I had that thought, I ended up
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: going to a couple more ship clubs. So I started
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: asking them, this is what this is the part I
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: wanted to get into the research, started asking them. Decided
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: to begin making motions as a way to nourish yourself,
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: kind of take your mind off of things. You made appointments.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: I did not make appointments. Don't try to play. I don't.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: I would be out already and I would be like, oh,
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: let me ask her. I'd be like, girl, what do
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: you use on your skin? This isn't I'm just thinking
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: of the clients on your roster now, and I want
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: to know who you had to go to these clubs with.
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: This is also years. This is over years. This is
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: over years. This isn't like within the past. I was like, wells, no,
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: it's not taking you there. First of all, you don't
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: know what I did with my clients. Okay, First of all,
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: I'll be active, Like you know, you don't know what
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: I'm doing with people. You don't know where we at,
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: where rooms were in So did you ask them to
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: get you start asking them? I said, hey, I was
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: like your skin is so soft, or like you smell great.
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, what do you use? So I probably
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: asked about a dozen women. And then I put those
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: ingredients together in a lotion. Okay, and that lotion it
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: caught my stripper o G lotion Oh okay. And since
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: then I've made I've made other versions, some that are
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: like moral, natural organic. Oddly enough, I didn't know you
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: were making motions, but now that I think about it,
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: your softness is a really big priority to you. And
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: I have absolutely heard you comment on other people's softness,
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: and I have heard you discussing lotion quite often. I
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: love soft skin. It's also part of my woo for men,
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: like how I woo them in Yeah, and they're like,
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: my god, yeah I have I smell good in your
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: soft skin? But yeah. So the point is I started
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: making these lotions, and the lotions I can make really fast.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: I can make a lotion in twenty minutes. So I
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: started making these lotions and I love again like I
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: love soft skin, I love like being moisturized. Also love
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: gifting people things, um, and it's something that I can
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: start an end really quick, like so I can start
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: a project and end a projecting meetings. I really love
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: that actually because I think us doing things with our hands,
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: especially now in the day and age, we get really
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: really disconnected from things like that. But there's such grounding
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: and centering activities just to take on small hobbies like
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: nothing too big. This doesn't have to be your second
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: source of income. It can just be something you enjoy
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: doing when you have a second that you know it's
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: it's the method, and it's the ritual of it. It's
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: the use of your hands. And like I'm at the
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: point now where I love it so much where I'm like, hmm,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: I wonder if I could make like an all natural
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: version of like a bigs vapor reb right, So now
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: that also becomes something really useful actually just made one
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: for quest say yeah, I love I I'm like that
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: too if I if I get the chance, I like
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: to do. I'm a very very very crafty person and
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: it brings me lots of you know, silent joy exactly
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: like I love to kick, but I live alone. I'm
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: not and I spend most of my meals with other
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: people outside of my home. So it doesn't really suit
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: or it doesn't serve me to cook like that, right,
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: like to go and get all these recipes because at
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: a moment's notice, I might have to be on a
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: flight tomorrow. Um you know, I'm gone for five days.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: Their food is wasted. So like, I don't really cook
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: like I used to. But this still allows me to
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: be creative and use my hands as you you know
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: you pointed out, and do something that like it feels great.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: And then at the end, I have like these little
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: things that I can give to the homies or take
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: with me on you know, when I'm traveling or whatever.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: One of the one of the last things that I
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: want to ask you, I'm gonna share with you a
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: couple of traits that I love about you as a person.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: So some of the things that you possess that I
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: absolutely defined to be like definitive characteristics of who you are, Okay,
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: that I really enjoy. I think you're a very commanding person.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: I like that you said commanding and not bossy. Oh no,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: two very different things. You have a very commanding presence
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: in a very direct way about you that is very
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: rare and very beneficial to the people's lives who you're in.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: You're a very celebratory person, and that is really special
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: as a friend, but also like for clients and you know,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: people that you work with, but you like to take
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: the time to celebrate people. There have been I'm not
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: a very I'm a very excited person for other people,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: but I don't get excited about myself or my stuff.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: I could literally have the biggest deal of my life,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to avoid it. It's just not
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: how my mind works, right. I'm kind of just way
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: too in the moment. So I don't like, you will
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: never get a text for me or a phone call
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: from me, Oh my god, guess what just happened to me? Like,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: oh my god. Like and which is not like I
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: love getting those calls from people. I just don't and
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: can't do that. But there have been many times in
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: my life that I've had like some new milestone happen
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: or something come about, and I'll just kind of plainly
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: say it to you, and You'll be like, no, no, no, no,
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: let's go back this is amazing, and you'll like really,
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: you'll celebrate me and it feels great and you'll bring
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: me into a space of that. And I love that
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: You're very thoughtful, extremely extremely thoughtful person. I'll never forget
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: the time that I when I was doing radio in Houston,
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: I had just got promoted to music director and I
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: had like my own office, and I had just decorated
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: my office, and out of nowhere, we're living in different states.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: Out of nowhere, I get a delivery to the reception
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: area of my office and you know, it's like beautiful
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: flower and bamboo arrangement. You know that you just sent
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: me to say congratulations, and that really meant so much.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: And I hadn't even told anyone that I got this promotion,
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: but I just like really simply put it on my
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: story or something like that. But you took it from
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: that to go out of your way to do that.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: So I love it about you. You're very very resourceful.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: You're a highly highly resourceful person. There is no telling,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: you know, and there is no this isn't going to happen,
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: you know it. Really You're like, okay, well if that
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: can't happen, then let me go back around and find
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: something equal or better and you you really do an
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: incredible job of just being highly resourceful. And another thing,
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: and you know these aren't all the things, but these
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: are what came up for me the highlights. Another thing
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: is worth. I think you are somebody that genuinely knows
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: your full worth. And I don't just mean that in
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: a monetary sense, because I think especially in careers, especially
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: like visible careers, that's what people interpret is worth, like
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: how many how many things are you posting about articles
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: written about you? Or how much how much money are
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: you making. It's not just about and that's important, it's not.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: But it's not just about knowing your worth and like
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: just fighting for your salary your money, like you know
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: your worth as a soul, as a person. You know
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: what you share when you exist in a room with
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: other people. Yes, that took that one. I think took
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: me a long time. I think, well, I'll say that
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: I felt like I learned that part about myself as
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: it pertains to relationships with women and with work, but
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: for men, it took me a long time for that one. Yeah. Um, yeah,
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: that one took me a long time. I don't think
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: I really understood my worth as it pertains to relationships
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: like intimate relationships or love interests or love relationships with men.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: Probably until a couple of years ago, where I think that,
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: I think that's everybody, you know. I mean, you're only
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: in your early thirties, no for sure, for sure and
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: really and you know it's like that even even in
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: relationship with men, that's a muscle. So it means that,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: like you have to have a lot of experience in
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: that space. You're busy, You're not just you know, running
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: the street. I mean, so it definitely, it definitely takes
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: time to get there. I'm really touched by my highlight
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: reel here. Girl. I really appreciate that. That's no, because
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: I think that, Um, you know, sometimes you're just living
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: and you're just kind of moving like how you move,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: and you don't really take stock of the things that
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: are happening in your life. Um you don't necessarily like
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: you know that things are milestones, but you don't know
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: their significance. Um sometimes until way, way way later, or
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: until someone says like, no, that's important. And I think
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: that's why I do that. I try to do that
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: for other people, Like I really love to celebrate people
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: mainly because like, I don't know how long I'll have people.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: So if I have you, and I can tell you
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: or I can send you an arrangement, or I can
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: write you a card, or I can bring you some lotion.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: Like if I can give you something or do something
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: or say something that makes you feel good, why would
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: I not? Why would I not do that? You know?
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: You know? And I think it's I think the thoughtfulness
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: part too. I'm probably gonna get all emotional about it,
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: but I think the thoughtfulness part two comes from not
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: having siblings, honestly, and and wanting to connect with people
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: all the time. And like, you know, I really don't
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: have a lot family like my I wasn't only on
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: my dad's side. I'm an only child. My dad was
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: an only child. My grandmother was an only child. So
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: I'm the last Anderson left. Um. And then on my
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: mom's side, that relationship is very strained, you know. And
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: that's a bigger family. But I'm not really in that family,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: you know. Um, So my friendships mean everything to me,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: Like my friends are my family, like you are my family,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: like quest is my nephew, like and I really feel
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: that and believe that. And when you have put people
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: in your life in positions, um where they have that
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: much weight. I think it's important that they know, like
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: you matter to me, You're important to me, um. And
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: little things, man, the littlest things can have such an impact.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: Like you know, I work in a job or I
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: have I work in a career that's very thankless, very
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: very Seldom do people say thank you because they pay me,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: so they think that I'm not also deserving of the
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: thank you, right right, yeah right, So for me, I
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: love when people say thank you, So I try to
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: spend my life with my friends or other people that
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: work for me or help me saying thank you and
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: thank you can come and look. You know it looks
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: in a lot of different ways, but you know it
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: doesn't hurt me to send you an arrangement to celebrate
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: an amazing accomplishment for you, well, because I need you
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: to know that you mean a lot to me, and
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: it means I'm willing to spend the hundred dollars or
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: however much it costs so that you know that you
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, it's absolutely it's it's so
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: important And I know that that comes from my grandmother
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: who wrote cards physical cards to people every week. Every week,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: you know, there was no texting. You had to send
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: people like postage letters, you know. Every week she would
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: send things. I've been sorry, this is a total tangent,
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: but I remember going to there was no CVS at
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: the time, whatever was before CV, A thrifty or something
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: like that. Yea, And my grandmother. Every week we would
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: go to the drug store and she would buy like, hella,
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: thinking of You cards, I mean like twenty cards, and
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: throughout the week she would write different people, Hey, just
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: these thinking of you cards, and she would send them
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: out to people. And I think seeing that all the
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: time kind of is stuck with me. You know, obviously
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not sending sending I'm not sending thinking of your cards.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: But it could be a text, or it could be
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: a fun arrangement, or it could be like a you know,
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: Hella heart emojis on an Instagram post or whatever it is.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: But it's like, that's that's the things. Those are the
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: things that people remember to like, yeah, and you know, yeah,
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: staying engaged with people in a way that you know
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: matters to them. Yes, yes, like you know that that
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: that particular way that you do that matters to that
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: person or that's the best way to convey the message. Yeah,
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: you have to be really connected to people and like
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: pay attention, pay attention. Yeah, And my job is about
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: paying attentions, right, Like I have to pay attention all
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: day with a client. So, like I think about like Marseille, right,
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: like she's fourteen, she's young. I know when we gotta
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: wrap her whole energy changes, she gets tired, she's a kid.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: I have to constantly be paying attention to people's cues, right. So,
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 1: Like for Issa, I know, like when she gets certain things,
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: or when certain people center stuff, or she gets a
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: certain type of note, certain things resonate with her. So
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: if I want to show her that I love her
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: and I care about her and she matters to me,
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: then I do it in a way that I know
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: will affect her and touch her. Yeah, you know. So
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: I'm really touched by your list though, Yeah, girl, and
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: the resource on this girl. That's because you know, ain't
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: nobody out here really wanting black women to win like that.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: I have to win, so I gotta figure it out. Yeah.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: I hate to say it like that, but plainly said, Yeah,
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, I hear you. It's not like we're at
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: the top of people's list of like, you know, people
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: aren't supporting black women like that, people aren't bolstering black
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: women up. I will say, I'm glad to be alive
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: in this exact time and moment in history because it's
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: evolving and it's the best it's ever been. And I
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: to that point, it's great because even a couple of
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: years ago, it wasn't like this. So we have clear
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: memories of what it used to be and what it
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: is and what it and hopefully we'll be around to
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: see what it ends up really being, you know, Like
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: I think to your point, we're in this great space
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: where how it used to be is not out of
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: my mind. I have immediate memories. Yes, I have vivid
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: memories of sometimes my own people blocking me. And now
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: we you know, and now we're in this place or
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: this space, excuse me, where we're really trying to figure
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: it out and people are embracing women of color and
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: black women, and is really beautiful. It is, It's really
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: really beautiful. Yeah, thank you, thank you, girl, thank you
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: so much for joining us for this episode. I hope
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: it was good. I love you very very much, and
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: I celebrate you, and I honor you, and I am
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: so excited for all that is yet to come. Thank you, girl,
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're doing this. This is so important,
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: so needed. You know. I think that you have a
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: really special light and a voice that needs to be shared.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: And I love that we live in a space at
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: a time where we can do this anywhere your light
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: can be shared with everyone around the world, like the
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: technology exists for that to happen now, which I think
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: is so beautiful and great, and I'm so grateful for it.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: I was really surprised that you wanted little o me
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: oh girl. By all right, And on that note, I'm
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: serious girl, everybody listening. As Vanessa so beautifully pointed out,
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: this is the time that you can get your voice,
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: your story, whatever it is that you uniquely and wonderfully
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: have to say out, So just do it. It's The
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: Dropping Jim's Podcast. Big thank you for listening to this
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: episode of The Dropping Gem's Podcast. This show is executive
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: produced by Adrian Scott and me Debbie Brown. Our theme
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: music was created by producer day One, and the poem
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: that you heard at the beginning of the show, well
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: that was created especially for us by award winning poet
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: and I'm the oak for If you have a quick
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: moment right now, don't please hit subscribe on the show,
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: and if you like what you heard, take it a
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: step further and give us a five star rating. Until
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: next time, you connect with me on i g at
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: Debbie Brown or my website Debbie Brown dot com. Be blessed,
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: H