Latest / The Breakfast Club / Best of full interview: Iyanla Vanzant Talks New Book 'Spiritual Hygiene', The Inside Fix, Leadership, Accountability + More

Transcript

Best of full interview: Iyanla Vanzant Talks New Book 'Spiritual Hygiene', The Inside Fix, Leadership, Accountability + More · The Breakfast Club

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  Speaker 4: I love every day clicks.
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  Speaker 5: Up the Breakfast Club.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: All Done Morning, everybody is dj n V, Jess Hilarious,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Charlamagne the God.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Laura La Rosa is here as well, and we got
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: a special guest in the building, the Legend.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: Welcome back.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: I am blessed.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: How you I'm doing amazing.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: All of this young energy.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I'll take it on it.
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: I was born in nineteen seventy eight. If I'm young,
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: do you thank you?
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Seventy eight? I got abroad it, I bought seven.
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: You never stopped working.
• 1:36
  Speaker 6: No you here today because you got a new show,
• 1:39
  Speaker 6: The Inside Fix.
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: But you just put out a book Spiritual Hygiene and December.
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: Why can't you ever keep still well?
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Because I don't want to grow roots, want to grow roots?
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: You know, roots are not not helpful. God, it's good,
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: you know, don't We need it?
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: Absolutely?
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: We need the work, so we need the energy. So
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I'm out here. I'm out here. I could be on
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: the poll, but this is so much more beneficial.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Let's see the first episode hilarious.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: So for people that don't know, it's almost like, where
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: are they now?
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Where are we now? Not them? Yes, where are we now?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Break down the show?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. What I did was we went back into some
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: of our highest rated shows with the most of them, huh,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: the most I know. I'm a mean machine, and we
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: looked at those shows for issues that are going on today,
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: because the way we deal with stuff today is very
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: different than we did twelve years ago. Twelve years ago,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: these six women had a problem and they pulled their
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: their copy down off the internet. Today, you know, that
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: would be ig I T Facebook, they would be canceled,
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: and so how we deal with it today? But the
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: issue of breakdown among women is just as prevalent today
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: as it was back then. So how do we deal
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: with that? How do we address that? So that's what
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: we're doing. We're going back into the shows and looking
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: at how to take those issues and apply them.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I love how you did it.
• 3:15
  Speaker 6: Why did you find that more appealing than revisiting I mean,
• 3:18
  Speaker 6: why did you decide to revisit older stories instead of
• 3:20
  Speaker 6: helping new families?
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Because I'm old, I'm old and season, you know, because
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: we just keep reinventing stuff and we don't even really
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: get all the juice out of what we got. We
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: didn't get all the juice out of fix my life.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: That's why we can go back in and do it
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: again today. The things that are applicable back then, I
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: did shows with mothers and daughters, and now you have
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: mothers divorcing or daughters divorcing, mothers, children not speaking to parents.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: That wasn't going on back then. So yeah, and also
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: to let people know that sometimes you don't even know
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: what you're looking at, because people looked at that and
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: got into the characters and the people, but they were
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: looking at a whole nother thing, just like in the
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: world today, we don't really know what we're looking at.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: Expound on that we don't really know.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: We're trying to get me shot. Do I look? So,
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Molly and.
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: I DMX could have lived to be on this show.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: He wasn't ready. I think he was willing, but he
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: wasn't ready. And you got to be both. Can't be
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: just ready and not willing or willing. He wasn't He
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: wasn't ready. You also talk about lady balls, lady ball
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: just who yes, Okay, now, but we gotta understand that
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: lady balls and testicles are different. Okay, because testical.
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: You see what you see now.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: The hair you see on testicles.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Is real, defended.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: You see a lot of women, because of the the
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  Speaker 3: way we are conditioned and programmed and educated, take on
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: masculine qualities, you know, and and they think it's powerful.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: But feminine power is very different than masculine power. Feminine
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: power is assertive, masculine power is aggressive. Feminine power is directive,
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  Speaker 3: it's nurturing, it's nourishing, it's clear, and Masculine power is
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: often domineering and controlling and directive as opposed to collaborative. So,
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: lady balls, you know a lot of men today want
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: to be the boss and they want to be the
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  Speaker 3: diva and have no leadership skills whatsoever. Lady balls are
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  Speaker 3: how a powerful woman lives in, moves and stands in
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  Speaker 3: her power in a way that nurtures, nourishes, supports, heels,
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  Speaker 3: grows other people. It's not testicles. Testicles are aggressive. They
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: got here and sometimes they smell. Don't answer me.
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: I know, you know. And it's interesting.
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  Speaker 6: In one of the episodes, you point out that women
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  Speaker 6: don't know the distinction between assertiveness and aggression. How do
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: you advise women to create a distinction between the two.
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  Speaker 3: Well, lead with your heart and not with your head.
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  Speaker 3: Lead with your heart. That's that's ladyballs. Lady balls don't
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: come from the crotch, They come from the heart.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: Did you come up with the certain lady balls?
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: Did you come up?
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: I said it for so long, but then when I
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: went to buy the trademarket, people have said that but
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: I spell mind differently, and nobody else has a deck
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: of cards. My team created a deck of cards so
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: you can pull your lady ball card. Talking about balls,
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: mister Willie doesn't have to show up.
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  Speaker 7: What do you say to women who have like because
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  Speaker 7: a lot of women shy away from leading with their
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  Speaker 7: heart because they're called to emotional or they they're scared
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  Speaker 7: to be vulnerable and make decisions based off of emotion
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  Speaker 7: because they think that they're not thinking clearly.
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  Speaker 3: Why do you think the heart is about emotion?
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  Speaker 7: That's what most people would relate heartfelt decisions too. When
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  Speaker 7: it comes to women.
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  Speaker 3: Well who men? Yes, men, because most women are so
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  Speaker 3: far out of their heart they don't even know what
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  Speaker 3: the heart does. The truth is that the mind was
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  Speaker 3: created to be a slave of the heart, but we've
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  Speaker 3: made the heart a slave of the mind or the intellect.
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  Speaker 3: Heart centered is grounded, It's clarity and again, nourishing, nurturing, edifying.
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  Speaker 3: It's progressive. The heart is progressive. The mind gets stuck
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  Speaker 3: in the loop. That's why we have therapy. Don't nobody
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  Speaker 3: go to nothing to try to get their heart fixed.
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  Speaker 3: They trying to fix their head. The heart doesn't get
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  Speaker 3: stuck in the loop. The heart remains open because the
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  Speaker 3: heart is where God speaks. God doesn't speak in the intellect.
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  Speaker 3: God speaks in the heart.
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  Speaker 7: When did you realize how to best use your Lady Balls?
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  Speaker 7: Because I saw you talk about you know, when you
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  Speaker 7: were raising your kids, you were being the father and
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  Speaker 7: you weren't the mother. You weren't the most nurturing. So
• 8:37
  Speaker 7: when did you realize how to lean into that?
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  Speaker 3: I think when I lost my first daughter and I
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  Speaker 3: had to raise her daughter, m and I looked at
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  Speaker 3: all the mistakes I had made, and I didn't want
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  Speaker 3: to be continue to be a father, and so I
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: got a chance to be a grandma doing a mom's job.
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  Speaker 3: So that was really really helpful for me. The other
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  Speaker 3: thing is that you know, I'm a student of a
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: course of miracles, and a course of miracles says I
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  Speaker 3: must have decided wrongly because I am not at peace.
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  Speaker 3: So it comes a moment when we make a choice
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  Speaker 3: or decision, but we wrestle with it. We're not at
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  Speaker 3: peace with it. And Ladyballs allows you to be assertive
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  Speaker 3: and clear grounded and peaceful. A lot of decisions I
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  Speaker 3: make with my head leave me in doubt. And flux
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: and craziness. But when I really do decide with my
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  Speaker 3: heart and I'm at peace, that makes sense. Yeah. So
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  Speaker 3: I think that's how I learned how to use Lady
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  Speaker 3: Ball's grandmother.
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  Speaker 2: You give yourself grace, though, because when you talk about.
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  Speaker 3: It, absolutely I give myself a lot of grace. And
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: when I say, like I was a horrible mother, which
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: I say in my book, or when I say I
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: made a lot of mistakes with my son, with my children,
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  Speaker 3: it's from a learning, not from the condemnation. I don't
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  Speaker 3: judge it. You know, my kids chose me. I was
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  Speaker 3: just trying to get some nookie. They decided they wanted
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  Speaker 3: they decided they wanted to be born. So here they come,
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  Speaker 3: intruding in my nude, in the citious activity. They chose me.
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  Speaker 3: So they came to learn too. So we're teaching each other.
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  Speaker 3: Grace is very important.
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  Speaker 8: Even with your your past, because your new show is
• 10:30
  Speaker 8: you know, the inside fix.
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  Speaker 5: Right.
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  Speaker 8: So you said you chose to go back and you
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  Speaker 8: know to previous cases. Right, do you feel at any
• 10:37
  Speaker 8: time back then you got it wrong?
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Or you mean, oh no, absolutely not not there. You
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: know why I prayed about every show, and that work
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: was my ministry that was led by spirit. One of
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: the reasons we're doing the inside fix is because back
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: then I did the work. Now I want people to
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: do the work. Every single show comes with a worksheet.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Had a television show give you homework? No, so that
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: you can look at the show and say, where is
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: this in my life? How do I do this? Where
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: have I done this? Where is this going on? Download
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: the work free? Free? Don't we like free? Free worksheet?
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: So I did the work, then now you do the work.
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: I want to ask you a question about what you
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: said about women having masculine qualities. Masculine qualities but no
• 11:25
  Speaker 6: leadership of ability.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: They want to be the boss and the diva, but
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: they don't have leadership tendencies, leadership training, leadership, not even qualities,
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: because you can have leadership qualities, but you have to
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: have The leader has to have a heart. We see
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: what it looks like when a leader doesn't have a heart.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: Let me, I don't look Somali.
• 11:52
  Speaker 6: Is that something you can learn or is that something
• 11:54
  Speaker 6: that has to be in you already?
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Well? I think that leaders are born, but they definitely
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: have to be trained. Some people say leaders are trained,
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: they're not born. I believe leaders are born. Some people
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: just rise into it. But there's certain qualities and characteristics
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: that an effective leader needs. And the one thing is
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: heart for people. Another thing is a vision. Leadership isn't
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: just about ordering people around and telling them what to do.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: A leader has to have a vision and then you
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: get people to buy into the vision and you lead
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: them in that vision in a way that's whole and
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: healthy for everybody.
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: Know, you'ret in corporate America all the time.
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: A lot of people in leadership roles and leadership positions,
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: but they're not actually leader.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: No vision. They're controllers, they're demagogues, they're bullies, they're all
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: sorts of things. And whenever money is the only thing
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: that leads you, you're going to have a problem.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: What would you say to somebody who was, like say,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: in a workplace or in a relationship that wants that
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: work relationship or real relationship to work.
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: One of the.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Exercises you did on the first episode, which was from
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: what twenty fourteen I Love It, was you brought everybody
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: to a department store and you made everybody shop for
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: each other. You buy this person outfit, you buy this person, Yeah,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: and then when you did, you said, well, why did
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: you buy that person at how do you.
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: Look at them?
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: So what would you advise for a couple or even
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: somebody working to do to try to fix it because
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: you can't be there or they can't afford you.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: Well, they can read my book because in spiritual hygiene,
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: spiritual hygiene for relationships, spiritual hygiene for parenting, and spiritual
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: hygiene for the workplace. Here's the thing in any relationship
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: three things. Number one tell the truth. One of the
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: reasons our relationships are dying and drying up is because
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: we lie about everything. We lie about what we feel,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: we lie about what we want. Sometimes it's not a
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: conscious lie, it's a lie driven by fear. The fear
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: of losing, the fear of being harmed. So we don't
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: want to be vulnerable. But in order for anything to
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: grow and thrive, you gotta have some truth. The other
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: thing is accountability. All the stuff that we're not seeing
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: in the world today, tell it your be accountable, don't
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: blame and project own your stuff, Own it and be
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: accountable for every choice, every word, every action, and know
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: what you're bringing to the table. Particularly in the workplace,
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: people go to work to make money. People go to
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: work to you know, very few people go to work
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: to serve. So what do you bring into the table
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: that you want something in return? Give me, give me,
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: give me, give me, give me. What are you bringing
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: to the table? So I think that if we did
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: that in relationships, if we did that in the workplace,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: we'd have a lot more respect than honor. For if
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I can't believe that you your grandmother didn't die again
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: for the third time at me because you only died once,
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: you know, where do you do somebody in the face
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: and believe that what they're telling you is the truth,
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: that they're not trying to take you down or get
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: something from you?
• 15:23
  Speaker 6: Or it's can we stay? I want to stay here
• 15:27
  Speaker 6: With the spiritual hygiene? First of all, I love the Tite,
• 15:30
  Speaker 6: a little book. What is spiritual hygiene and how do
• 15:32
  Speaker 6: people tend to it?
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: It's the daily, daily commitment and practice of clearing your mind,
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: of cleaning your heart, of strengthening your spirit. It's not
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: a one time thing, It's a practice. Your spirit has
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: to be maintained like your teeth. You know, are people
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: brush their teeth every day and go years without an
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: examination of their own thoughts. They got fungus in the mind.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: Many people are emotionally constipated, still bad about mad about
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: something that happened in fifty six. How do you clean
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: that up? You brush your hair, you wash your hohuha,
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: you know, but you don't clean your spirit, your heart,
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: your mind. So spiritual hygiene is the daily practice of
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: clearing your mind, your heart, your soul, your inner life,
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: so that your outer life can have a different appearance.
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: So what about the people who pray?
• 16:32
  Speaker 6: They go to therapy, they meditate, they sage, but they
• 16:35
  Speaker 6: still stay toxic, Like, what's the prayer?
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: What is the prayer? Most people beg they don't pray,
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: you know, and all of that is good, But what's
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: your relationship? What is your relationship with God's souls, creative
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: spirit of your understanding? What is your relationship? God doesn't
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: want your you know, tides and service only what is
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: the relationship? And most people many people, I won't say most,
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: I'll say many. Many people learn the function and the
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: doing of the prayer, but they don't have the presence
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: in the prayer. They don't have the relationship with the
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: very thing they're praying too. Why I didn't I grew
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: up in the church. You know, I'll tell you a
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: real funny story. They were trying to baptize me. I
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: must have been five or six in the Apostolic church.
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: You know that's.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: Everything's a sin. Yes, rolling your lip is a sin. Anyway,
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: they're getting ready to baptize me, and you know, they
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: dunk you down in the water and stuff, and they
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: say to me, will you take do you accept Jesus
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: Christ as your Lord and save you? Now this is
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: way back when, and that's how old I am. When
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Jesus was still on the cross with the little droplets
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: of blood on his hands, I me, the brilliant child.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: I look up and not say who him? He can't
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: help know I got beat until tomorrow. You can't help
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: me because you know he's died off the cross. Now
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: you don't see it. But we were fed religion. We
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: were told what to do. We weren't taught to build
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: a relationship. And it took me a long time to
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: know that it wasn't about the doing of it. It
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: was about the being in relationship, in the presence, being
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: present in the prayer, being still and.
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: Knowing when did you learn to pray? And big.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: When the beggan wasn't working, I just got tired of begging.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: And then I said, Okay, what am I doing wrong?
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: I'm begging and you're not paying attention, and this is
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: not the way God is supposed to respond. When I
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: learned two things, how to be still and how to
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: know how to be still within my mind, my heart
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: spiritual hygiene, and how to know when I was in
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: the presence, not when I was reaching out, but when
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: I was turning in, and that was it for me
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: instead of going out going we see a lot of.
• 19:22
  Speaker 8: What are some of the preventative measures that you take
• 19:25
  Speaker 8: so you can you can actually grow grow up with
• 19:28
  Speaker 8: these things, like like good spiritual hygiene, because a lot
• 19:33
  Speaker 8: of people would agree that bad spiritual hygiene.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: Is everywhere, every waywhere.
• 19:39
  Speaker 8: But if people knew how to you know, simple, simple,
• 19:44
  Speaker 8: you know what I'm saying, Like how.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: Seven minutes three times a day for twenty one consecutive days,
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: shut your mouth, turn off everything, be still seven minutes
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: three times a day for twenty one days. You know,
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: many people would rather use their front teeth and shut
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: their mouth and get off the phone. That's right, just
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: to be still because in the stillness. Everything's going to
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: rise to the surface. You can journal it out, you
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: can speak it out. You just become aware of it.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Because the first step, the first foundational principle of spiritual hygiene,
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: is self awareness. People don't know that their armpits think.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: They don't know that they talk too loud. They don't
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: know that. You know, people don't know nothing about theirself
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: because they're looking for everybody else to tell them self awareness.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Start there, seven minutes, three times a day, every day,
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: for twenty one consecutive days. It'll take you somewhere.
• 20:41
  Speaker 6: Why do you think people are more committed to physical
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: hygiene the spiritual hygiene because the spirit controls everything?
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, but again, most of us were religiousized. We
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: weren't spiritualized, and so we want to intellectualize the spirit
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: as opposed to spiritualize in the intellect to go in
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: there and get that up. And so we we we
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: don't like everything else we're taught it's a doing.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: Hm.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: We know how to do spiritual things? Do we know
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: how to be in the presence of spirit? You know
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: how to do that? And it's frightening. And the thing
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: that frightens us more than anything else, I think in
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: my years of working with people, it is their own
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: spiritual power that I am ness. You know, we are
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: an eachness and the allness of God, and that eachness
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: is powerful. And people are so convinced that they're unworthy
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: and less than till they have a difficult time embracing
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: and stepping into the power and the greatness.
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: I wonder why, like my daughter asked me that my
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: daughter said to me, and my daughter said, Daddy, why
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: do we pray but we don't go to church?
• 21:51
  Speaker 5: And I said, because we are.
• 21:53
  Speaker 6: Je we believe in spirit, not really like you know,
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: going to church to me as a religious practice, but
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: we are people that believe in the spirit.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: But can I ask you a question, is it? Are
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: you open to another possibility? Praying is going to church.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Praying is going to church. You're going in the temple. No,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: you're not. That you are a temple, that you are
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: the temple of God. So praying is going to church.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: Tell her that next time this is church.
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: Absolutely.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: My uh, I'm grandmother ring now I'm raising my great grandson.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: That's why I look so young and fabulous. And and
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: we pray at night before we go to bed. So
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: one day he said, uh yeah, yay, that's what he
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: calls me. Yeah, yeah, exactly who is it that I'm
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: praying to? And I said, you're higher self, your I
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: am that that thing that people call God. But it's
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: not out there, it's in here. He said, where where
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: is it? I said, it's in your heart, it's in
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: your soul, it's in your DNA, it's in your bone mouth.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: So you know, that's how I'm teaching him. Nobody taught
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: me that. They taught me the guy up on the
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: cross with the little droplets of blood. And when I
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: said to them, you know him, he can't help me.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: How's he gonna help me? And I got beat? Ooh
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: that was I just remember, I'm being traumatized right now,
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: I'm having trauma memory.
• 23:33
  Speaker 7: But in moments like that, right with your great grandson,
• 23:35
  Speaker 7: because then he'll grow up, he'll go through life. But
• 23:38
  Speaker 7: you talk about in your book, like even like ancestral
• 23:40
  Speaker 7: trauma being a part of things that you got to
• 23:42
  Speaker 7: like cleanse from. When you're young, you don't even know
• 23:45
  Speaker 7: what you're feeling. Even sometimes when you're grown, if you
• 23:48
  Speaker 7: don't have certain experiences or pay attention, So how do
• 23:51
  Speaker 7: you keep cleansing your spirit or yourself, because at each
• 23:56
  Speaker 7: level of life, things hit you different.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: Well, he is a motionly literate he will be an
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: emotionally literate black man. Because I recognized I was raising
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: somebody's father and somebody's husband. I wanted him to be
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: emotionally literate. I wasn't raised that way. So he knows
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: the distinction between frustration and anxiety. He knows when he's sad,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: he knows when he's happy, he knows when he's frustrated.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Why because I taught him how to do that. Most
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: of us are, many adults are emotionally illiterate. We know happy, sad, good, bad, right, wrong.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: We don't know frustration, disappointment, exhilaration, bliss. Some of us
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: don't even know peace or joy. So it's up to
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: you do your work. That's your spiritual hygiene. In those
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: seven minutes, three times a day, for twenty one consecutive days,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: call forth joy. What does joy feel like in my body?
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: What does peace feel like in my body? What does
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: we're in? My body? Is disappointment? The body is a
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: living organism.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Talk to it.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: It will respond. Yeah.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you know, in this generation, sometimes
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I feel like.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: Which one because I spend many this generation.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I would say from I would say maybe from ten
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: to twenty five.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Let's talk there, Okay.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes talking hard to them, it's they
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: don't understand it, nor do they get it right. It
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: feels they feel a lot differently when I see some
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: of your past shows and your new shows. You talk
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: hard to people, you talk real to people. Do you
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: feel like the new generation is too emotional or too
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: soft when it comes to seeing things at face value?
• 25:44
  Speaker 7: Think you can add us in there too. The people
• 25:46
  Speaker 7: in their thirties too. I think you can add us
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: in that.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Well, you know what, because nobody told them the truth.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: They talked at them, not with them. Talk with somebody.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: The greatest skiff we have is a conversation. Most people
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: don't know how to have one. But when you're going
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: into somebody telling them what they did wrong, what's wrong
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: with them, asking them why they do that? Come here, baby,
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: come in, sit right here, put that down, stop it,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: you know, be present. One of the reasons in young
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: people today, and I would say ten and up are
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: so emotionally disconnected is because nobody's present with them. They
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: sit in the back of the car on the device,
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: looking at the back of someone's head. Who's on the device.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: Many of them don't eat at a table. They don't
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: know how to set a table. They eat out of
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: a styrofoam box, on their lap or in a car.
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: So some of the things that kept us grounded and
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: human and connected, we've given them out. You know, a
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: lot of them can't cook. I've met a twenty three
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: year old who can't cook. I said, well, how do
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: you eat? Uber eats? What is not a recipe?
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Right, But it's like that. Not on my watch, be
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: human resources. Not on my watch.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: You teach it, you be at the principal's office. But
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: those are the things that my teacher said.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't do that to a ten year old. I
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: wouldn't do that to I did that to those disrespectful
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: women because I those were my lady balls. Let me
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: set this standard right here. Not on my watch. People
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: will say that. They don't say the next part, will
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: you disrespect another woman? They don't say that part. They
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: just get on the Not on my way, am I
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: putting all these little greasy fingers.
• 27:35
  Speaker 6: Okay, don't worry about, don't even worry about.
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: Don't worry about I don't even.
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: Worry about it.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: They're not smiling, but we I wouldn't talk to them
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: like that. You know, those women were conscious and intentional
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: in their maliciousness, and I was not going to accommodate it.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you have to tell the truth in this way,
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: and sometimes it has to be cold water in your face.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it just has to.
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: Be who holds you accountable when when your hygiene is off,
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: when when your spiritual hygiene.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: Is I'll have a whole team of people. They oh,
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: hell yeah, this is how they say it. Mama. I
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: don't mean no harm or what I've taught them to
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: do is to ask me for a hall pass. Because
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: I'm the elder in the circle. You know, I have
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: a whole school. I have a whole school. I have students,
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: I have graduates, I have ministers, coaches, and so I say, listen,
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: don't let me die. If you see me running out
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: in traffic with you know, toilet paper on my shoe,
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: don't let me die. Tell me the truth. So they'll
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: ask me for a hall pass. You know, when a
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: hall pass you could go anywhere. I did myma need
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: a hall pass. Okay, let me get the brown liquor
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: and then they'll tell me the truth. And because they
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: love me, I can hear it. And it's nothing worse
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: than to treat somebody how to be and then they
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: correct you when you ain't being that way. I love it.
• 29:27
  Speaker 6: How do we tell the difference between protecting our peace
• 29:30
  Speaker 6: and avoiding accountability?
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: Ah? Good question, Yeah, integrity to tell the truth about it.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Tell the truth because you know when you're avoiding, or
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: you know when you're afraid, or you know when you're
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: denying or projecting. You know, you know, I don't have
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: to ask you, you know, tell the truth about it.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: And protecting your peace or creating a boundary looks and
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: feels very different than erecting a wall. And sometimes people
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: erect walls and call it a boundary. No. No, a
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: boundary is built to keep you safe as you let
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: other people in. If your wall is up, you're holding
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: people out. You can create a boundary. This is what
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: I need you to do because I want to be
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: peaceful in our connection. That's a boundary. Well, this is
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: what I'm gonna ask you not to do so we
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: can be peaceful in our connection. That's a boundary. No,
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: you can't come up in here with that. That's a wall.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: That's a wall.
• 30:39
  Speaker 7: I saw you just sit down with Oprahen. You talked
• 30:41
  Speaker 7: about your decision not to go to your daughter's funeral. Yeah,
• 30:44
  Speaker 7: and you kind of put up your boundaries just because
• 30:46
  Speaker 7: of some of the things that was happening within your family.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: Well not in my family, with one particular grandson, her
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: youngest son, who was just out of his mind. And
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: I know it was grief, but I wasn't gonna put
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: myself in jeopardy. I wasn't going to give him the
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: opportunity to disrespect his mother by disrespecting her mother. And
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: I didn't know what he might do, but I was
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: a trigger for him. I knew I was a trigger
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: for him, and I had to tell the truth about that.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: How difficult was that for you?
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: Well, once I made the decision, because I made it
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: from a place of love and care, I was okay
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: with it. So I didn't have to go to the funeral.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: I went the day before and I had my own
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: thing with her. She was still gonna be dead the
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: next day. I didn't have to be there. You understand,
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: the things that we do out of tradition, out of
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: habit that we don't even want to do I'm not
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: doing that. I'm too old and I don't have wrinkles yet,
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: so I don't want wrinkles.
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: I don't, do you know what I mean?
• 31:53
  Speaker 6: For the same reason that you just said, right like,
• 31:55
  Speaker 6: I want to remember the person the last time I
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: saw him.
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: I don't want to remember him in the casket.
• 32:00
  Speaker 6: Do you feel like funerals are necessary for the grieving process.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: If we as people of color, we're doing our traditional
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: burial rights. Oh yes, I think it's very necessary to
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: lay that spirit to rest, to make sure that we're
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: lifting that spirit and light. That's a very different thing.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Burial rights are very different than a funeral. Can I
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: tell you something. This is gonna sound totally disgusting, but
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say it. Okay, I bought my casket. My
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: casket is bought. It's on not on layaway, lay away.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: I'm playing it off, but it's bought. Let me tell
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: you why I bought.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: My two me and my wife we bought.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: I was you bought it and was it like twenty
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: seven hundred dollars twenty eight hundred dollars.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: More than that? But yeah, I did. But the reason
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: I did because I didn't want that.
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: I didn't.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: That's one thing I didn't want.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: My kids to have to worry thinking about. I didn't either.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: And also when I I had to bury my daughter
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: and they charged me ten thousand dollars for a casket,
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: and I discovered that from the manufacture it was twenty
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: three hundred. I said, let me go down here and
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: get me a casket. So I went down and bought
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: my casket and paid for it exactly what I want.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: And when I'm not here anymore, all they have to
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: do is call, they'll deliver it in twenty four hours.
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I got it in will to get cremated.
• 33:22
  Speaker 6: You cremated and throw my ashes somewhere because you gotta
• 33:25
  Speaker 6: think about it in one hundred years to be arounded.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: That is you. Yeah, I can understand that. I don't
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: particularly want to be cremated.
• 33:33
  Speaker 7: How did your family feel about that? Like your wife
• 33:35
  Speaker 7: and your kids.
• 33:39
  Speaker 8: My thing is like, if you buy a casket too early, right,
• 33:43
  Speaker 8: and then you know what, if you're skinny when you buy,
• 33:45
  Speaker 8: then you die big.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: It's like, damn, you still have to pay for them?
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Then no, you they'll just take a little of the
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: padding out. But I want to go back to you
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: with this funeral, because the funeral is it really should
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: be a celebration of the life, and it's turned into
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: this whole money making thing and it's the hole in
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: the ground. It's fifteen hundred dollars or more. Now, So
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: what I say is, if we're going to celebrate the
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: person's life, and if we're going to do the rights.
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: For example, in my lineage and my tradition as a Uropa,
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: we once the person makes transition, we do a nine
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: day prayer process, a forty day prayer process, and in
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: a one year prayer process to make sure that spirit
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: is lifted and elevated. As a as a two slaky
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Cherokee or I walk in the nation of the Lakota people,
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: they plan their funeral and they are cremated. Many of them.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: They don't go into ground. They go back to the
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: earth and they're singing and dance. It's a whole celebration
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: that doesn't have And we do have food because I
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: will say that funeral chicken is some of the best chicken.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: And so if we're going to do that, then let's
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: do that. But just to sit around and weep and
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: you know, make ourselves crazy, and so many people get
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: stuck in the morning bad spiritual hygiene. Grieving is natural,
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: and I talk about grieving as a teacher and an
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: initiation in the book Morning is Bad Spiritual Hygiene. Morning
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: says that there's regret, there's remorse. That morning is the
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: process of because this happened, or I lost this, or
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: this person isn't here, this part of me can no
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: longer go on. Like when I lost my first daughter,
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: I lost my mind. But with my second daughter, I
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: didn't have the same feeling heaviness, and I didn't have
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: that because I knew it was coming and I was
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: prepared for it. And I can remember the days when
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: I felt bad about feeling good. People think, because someone dies,
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: you gotta feel bad, and I would catch myself feeling
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: bad about feeling good. Bad spiritual hygiene. That's mourning. Feeling
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: bad and believing that your life can't go on, or
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: you have resent or you resentment or remorse, or because
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: this happened, you can't do that, or you should have
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: done this. That's mourning.
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: Is think that part of the grief process.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: Though it is a part of the process, but it
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: happens organically and it passes. You know, it takes different
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: amount of time for everybody. But when I'll never love again,
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: my life is over. I'm going out need some worms.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: That's mourning.
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: That's a different thing.
• 36:53
  Speaker 6: You talk about unresolved grief living in the body the
• 36:56
  Speaker 6: same way bacteria lives in the mouth.
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: What's the daily practice to clean it up?
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: Acknowledgy, acknowledging, you know, when you feel it, ask and again.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: Building that relationship with the body. Part of spiritual hygiene
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: is somatic. You know, like we have a body, there's
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: a distinction between the physical body and the somatic body.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: The somatic body is the energy and the feeling in
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: the body. So we'll walk around and we know we
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: have a physical body. Oh this pain, that leg, that,
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: But what is the feeling in there? Okay, your knee
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: is hurting? Okay, what's happened to me? What are you
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: doing here? So part of grief has to be somatic,
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: and people will grieve and get in the bed and
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: stay there. You can be in the bed, but then
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: get up and stretch, get up and move. Where is
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: the grief in your body? You know, the grief for
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: my babies, my daughters, it's in my heart and where
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: it used to be in the center. Now it's just
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: around the edges, and sometimes it comes up. My oldest
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: daughter died on Christmas Day, so I've turned Christmas into
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: a whole thing. It was her favorite holiday. So Christmas
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: for me is not a day of morning. It's all
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: we haven't for I will have a tree if I
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: got to go out and cut it down myself, you know,
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: because that grief is there, but it's there in celebration,
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: not in mourning and remorse. So get in the body
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: where's everybody has grief about loss of something, something didn't
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: go right? But do you are you in relationship with it?
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: Where is it? So it'll show up and now you'll
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: be cussing out the uber driver. No, that maybe grief
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: that was unexpressed and it's in the body. Get in
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: there and find out where it is.
• 38:51
  Speaker 8: Have you ever had a case right where you say
• 38:55
  Speaker 8: these people want't needy more than me. I don't think
• 38:58
  Speaker 8: I can't you know what I'm saying, like, like after
• 39:01
  Speaker 8: you've helped them and they went on, did you ever say,
• 39:04
  Speaker 8: like I need to check on these people or maybe
• 39:07
  Speaker 8: they need something far beyond what I can do.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: My own self.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: No, I'm sorry.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: See it's hard to answer that question because I don't
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: have cases. I have assignments. Gotcha, have you?
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: Assignment never been too great? You ever said you know
• 39:27
  Speaker 5: what you need?
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: You need Jesus, it has felt that way. And then
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: when I get still and go within and to get
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: the same guidance that sent the people to me is
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: the guidance I get to find out what to do.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: It always works out because I'm not attached to the outcome.
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: I'm really not. I'm really not attached to the outcome.
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: I'm sending to do what I do, and I do
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: what I do. What you do when it is your business.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: You know, you've seen the show. There were some people
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: who fought me all the way. The poor little child
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: that ran out and left, and didn't you know she
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: wanted to beat me up. She told me she was
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: gonna cut me, and I was like, my son was
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: there and he would have cut her, and that would
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: have just went the whole thing. So I figured to
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: just let her go. I've had guests walk out outthea
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: from Love and Hip Hop and she left. I had
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: another couple, Uh, they said they didn't trust me. I left.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: You don't trust me, I'm out. There's nothing we're gonna
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: do here. I'm not attached to the outcome. I'm attached
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: to the process.
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 40:40
  Speaker 8: I think your work has gotten us attached to the
• 40:43
  Speaker 8: outcome so far, too many times I've seen. And that's
• 40:47
  Speaker 8: also why I loved watching a show as well, because I.
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: Really love you a person. Oh let me shopping shopping,
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: it's this lovely bout you, not my lady ball. It
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: did developments. I got all the number of times I
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: went upstairs and forgot what I was doing, and yeah,
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: that's a DH.
• 41:18
  Speaker 7: I'm sorry, color got you left right up there.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: That's all right.
• 41:22
  Speaker 8: But the reason why I asked her is because Kevin
• 41:24
  Speaker 8: McCall I was watching that. That's something that I remembered,
• 41:27
  Speaker 8: and I had no idea that he had had.
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: All we saw.
• 41:30
  Speaker 8: All we see is Kevin's antics then and now right,
• 41:34
  Speaker 8: But I had no idea that it was attached to
• 41:36
  Speaker 8: his upbringing. You know, you had it, you were You
• 41:39
  Speaker 8: got him to reveal some things about his upbringing, that
• 41:41
  Speaker 8: his mom she wasn't the best mom, and how she
• 41:44
  Speaker 8: was there not trying to take accountability either, and that's
• 41:47
  Speaker 8: why and when he'll go do her for a while,
• 41:50
  Speaker 8: then it will come back and it's more antics. And
• 41:53
  Speaker 8: that made me think of I'm like, damn, well, I
• 41:55
  Speaker 8: need to call y'all see and talk.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: To him again, you know what I mean?
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: Like, that's why I asked you.
• 42:00
  Speaker 8: You ever after helping somebody say, look, they need something
• 42:04
  Speaker 8: far more than me or do are you attached to
• 42:06
  Speaker 8: the alchemist?
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not. And he got what he came to get.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: It's up to him to use it. That's his spiritual hygiene.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: Like you go to the dentist, they fill your cavity,
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: but if you now then go eat fifty five pounds
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: of gummy bears, or when you have a temporary filling
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: and you're trying to, you know, eat popcorn. That's a problem.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: So in the same way with God, source creator, he
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: can only do so much. It can only do so much,
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: and then the rest of it is on us. That's
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: why it's the inside fix. We could only do so much.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: Kevin got and every single one of my guests that
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: was on that show, you know, I'm so grateful to
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: them because the show really wasn't for them. The show
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: was for the viewers. And I told them that I
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: would tell them that. I want to be real clear,
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: this ain't even about you. You were chosen, left guided
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: to be a demonstration. And how you show up it's
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: not only going to help you, it's going to help
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: the fews. We told you that.
• 43:08
  Speaker 7: I remember you did the You had the really big
• 43:11
  Speaker 7: daddy list daughter segments that you would do and you
• 43:14
  Speaker 7: would talk about the uns like the things that they
• 43:16
  Speaker 7: need to like or the words they need to know,
• 43:17
  Speaker 7: like Daddy's gone, and just the reality of like moving
• 43:20
  Speaker 7: forward from and I remember that my trigger. But I
• 43:24
  Speaker 7: used to watch the show because me and my dad
• 43:25
  Speaker 7: at that time, it was like early on in us
• 43:27
  Speaker 7: trying to figure out, Okay, he's new back into my life,
• 43:30
  Speaker 7: how do I feel? Do I have questions? And I
• 43:32
  Speaker 7: got to a point where I was like, all right,
• 43:35
  Speaker 7: you weren't here. Here's where my life is. Like I
• 43:37
  Speaker 7: don't want to be a victim or like a product
• 43:39
  Speaker 7: of that.
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: I just want to make sure she understands.
• 43:43
  Speaker 7: But you're a serious Your series helped me though, because
• 43:46
  Speaker 7: my mom was one of those people that was like
• 43:48
  Speaker 7: very like she just acts like it didn't happen. You
• 43:52
  Speaker 7: were you acknowledged that it happened, but you didn't let
• 43:54
  Speaker 7: people live in it. So it helped me to realize, like, Okay,
• 43:57
  Speaker 7: what are we going to do here, Like what are
• 43:59
  Speaker 7: we going to do with the relationship or what are
• 44:01
  Speaker 7: we gonna do with yourself? And how you feel about that?
• 44:03
  Speaker 7: And if it's not accepted from him or responded to
• 44:07
  Speaker 7: him the way you want, you just you can only
• 44:09
  Speaker 7: control yourself.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because you get to choose and he gets to choose.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: And sometimes the shame of it, the guilt of it,
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: a lot of dads, moms, people can't show up. Husbands
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: who cheat come back and they can never get it together,
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: or wives because did you know wives were cheating?
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, black men don't cheat, but boy.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: What women's growing exactly? Yeah. But you know, my my hope,
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: my prayer, and I appreciate so many people are so
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: excited about the show, about the book, and may my
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: legacy be if nothing else, that I gave people skills
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: and tools to take responsibility for themselves because the world
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: we're in right now, the mess that we're in, is
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: because we were anticipating somebody else doing for us what
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: we needed to do for ourselves, and so we got
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: to do the work. You have to do your.
• 45:13
  Speaker 6: Work Accountability is a hard concept for a lot of
• 45:15
  Speaker 6: people to grasp.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: Awareness, accountability, and integrity. Integrity where your mind, your heart,
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: and what you do are all aligned. Very often people
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: think one thing feels something and do something else. Get
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: an integrity, line it up and be willing to piss
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: people off to maintain your own integrity. Honor yourself. Don't
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: dim your light. Don't set yourself on fire to keep
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: other people warm. Don't dim your light like that. Take
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: responsibility and embrace everybody in the process.
• 46:02
  Speaker 5: I got a couple more questions. You always say healing
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: isn't pretty.
• 46:06
  Speaker 6: Why do people romanticize spirituality but reject the mess that's
• 46:10
  Speaker 6: required to actually.
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: Evolve, intellectualizing the spirit like people think spiritual people shouldn't
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: get angry. I'm from Brooklyn. I don't get angry. I
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: get pissed the f off and I'm coming for you. Okay,
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: I'm all right. You know what I'm talking about. I
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: grew up with the bodega on the corner. Okay, So
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: I just don't do that. I'm responsible for myself when
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: I do it. If I do it, and I don't
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: stay stuck there, and that's not going to become an
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: identity for me. Let me see you abuse a child.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: I'm coming for you, all guns drawn, cussing like a
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: sailor and hit you in your head, punch you right
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: in your throat. Disrespect the woman in my press. I'm
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: coming for you, you know. So, even though I'm a
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: deeply spiritual person, there's sometimes when you have to again
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: throw cold water in somebody's face. But people want to
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: intellectualize spirituality. Oh, you have to be kind and loving, yes,
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: you do all that, but sometimes you are human and
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: it's okay in terms of it being healing, not being
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: pretty is because most of us are not aware of
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: the depth of healing that is required. We're not aware.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: We think it's just if he would behave or if
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: they would come back, or if they would say I'm sorry,
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: that it would be okay. It's so much deeper than
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: so much deeper, and most people are afraid to go in.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: And when I say most people, I'm not generalizing. I'm
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: speaking about it in terms of the years that I've
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: been doing this work and what I've seen, what I've
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: seen want to go with that, don't want to look
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: it with that, don't want to do the spiritual hygiene. No, no, no, is.
• 48:06
  Speaker 6: There a difference between being spiritually spiritually clean and being
• 48:10
  Speaker 6: spiritually sterile? And what I mean by that, can we
• 48:12
  Speaker 6: ever oversanitize ourselves out of just human connection?
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: Not that I don't know. Spiritually clean, you you're still
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: among everybody. If you're not connected, then you're not spiritual
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: at all, because the deepest part of spirituality is connected.
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: So I don't know about spiritually sterile. Let me write
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: that down, because you know, I forget.
• 48:40
  Speaker 6: Some people try to, like you said, they try to
• 48:42
  Speaker 6: set so many boundaries, and they intellectualized spirituality to think
• 48:45
  Speaker 6: that they got to be away from people and be
• 48:47
  Speaker 6: apart from people.
• 48:48
  Speaker 5: That to me, that's not.
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: But some of them do. I mean, look at the monks.
• 48:52
  Speaker 3: Some of them. That's their mission, that's their ministry, that's
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: what they do. They go out there. I'm not on
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: that committee. I'm not on that committee. I'm I'm on
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: the people committee. But but spiritually sterile, I don't know.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: That's a good Thank you for that. That'll be my
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: next book.
• 49:11
  Speaker 5: I love spiritual hygiene. Mana.
• 49:12
  Speaker 6: There's a rapper named Dgola and he had a song
• 49:15
  Speaker 6: and I call it a Negro spiritual call ain't gonna
• 49:17
  Speaker 6: let up. And in the song he said, nigga, get
• 49:19
  Speaker 6: yourself together, go, get your brain a bath, go to church,
• 49:22
  Speaker 6: start listening, get on the right path.
• 49:26
  Speaker 5: Spiritual hygiene.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: And you know, I'm really for me. The greatest thing
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: was to see how far I've come, because I wasn't
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: spiritually clean. I wasn't And to see how far I've
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: come and look at the experiences that I've had, the divorce,
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: the death of my partner, my my losing two daughters,
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: you know, all of it, all of it, and to
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: see how far I've come. You know, you can't all
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: off the floor. So I was on the floor. So
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: to see how far I've come from how far down
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: I was, it's humbling. It's really humbling because millions didn't
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: make it.
• 50:16
  Speaker 5: I know that defin make you question your own mortality.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: Well, I've decided I'm going to stay here till I'm
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: one hundred and two, and I'll still be walking in
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: my low heels. I got on low heels now because
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: I do believe we get to choose, I really do.
• 50:34
  Speaker 5: I said onund and one.
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna do one hundred and two, and I'm
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: gonna go to bed and I'm just not gonna wake up.
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: I just have to remember to put on panties because
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: I don't want I don't want like my son to
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: come in and see my us because I think that
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: would kill him if he's my mama who has hanging out.
• 51:04
  Speaker 3: So I just have to remember, I'm just going to
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: go to sleep. I'm not doing the suffering and the
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: sickness like you know when I stuck into my regular
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: physical doctor. I have other doctors that I go to
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: because at my age, they they want something to be
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: wrong with me. I don't take a pill for nothing.
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: I don't have high blood pressure. I don't have uh
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: the concuss the bunkus, who na, my blood pressure is normal?
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: You know, I don't have any of it.
• 51:39
  Speaker 5: That's not real. I'm about to take my doctor.
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: Like anything, and so they don't believe me. So the
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: only thing they could think to tell me was where
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: you are obese? They told obese, you're twenty pounds over
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: the what the white I'm supposed to be. But you know,
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: my butt is the size of white boys want for
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: my whole body to be.
• 52:06
  Speaker 6: So I'm not worried about that, Okay.
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: But.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: So I'm just not going to do all of that
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: sickness stuff and I'm not going to live up to
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: the standards that they set for me. Like they wanted
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: to do these weird things to me. And I said, well,
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: why are we doing that? They said, because people your
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: aging I don't have. They don't have nothing to do
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: with me. I anything do with me. I'm not doing that.
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: You are not sticking that up there now, not doing no.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: I've done though, Okay, yeah, because my daughter died of
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: colon cancer, so I take but other things, other things,
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing that.
• 52:42
  Speaker 6: And this queen is seventy two by the way, for
• 52:44
  Speaker 6: anybody there wondering.
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: But I have a relationship with my body. And you know,
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: God is so merciful because I'm a virgo. I'm a hypochondriac.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Me too, you two both.
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: Every little thing you know, a headache is a brain too.
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: Oh, I can see somebody else somebody die from right now.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: So we go back and be like, hey, I gotta
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: go to doctor.
• 53:12
  Speaker 5: I called him this week.
• 53:13
  Speaker 6: I said, hey, I just got scared from head to toe.
• 53:15
  Speaker 6: I said, the doctor doing brain and that I said
• 53:17
  Speaker 6: my appointment.
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: Right, So you understand what I'm saying, So God doesn't
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: give me any of that. Because I wanted to survive,
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: I would live in the doctors I'd have a box
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: in the corner by the stove in the doctor's office.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: So I don't have that. But you know, people want
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: you to line up with what they think you should be,
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: what you even as a spiritual person. You know, for years,
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: and I say this, I've been doing this work since
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: nineteen eighty eight. Okay, for years, I was a demon.
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: I was all sorts of things. They would not let
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: me in a pulpit in the church. And then when
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: my books started selling and people would come and the
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: offering plate would be bigger than I became welcome. Why
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: because I didn't do it the way they did it.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: But that's not how God told me to do. I
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: don't have to answer to you when I get wherever
• 54:11
  Speaker 3: I'm going. If I have to answer to anybody, it
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: won't be you. So I had to follow my purpose,
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: my mission.
• 54:18
  Speaker 8: My Lucke, have you been able to find that love
• 54:22
  Speaker 8: that works for you?
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 54:24
  Speaker 8: I remember in an early episode of I ele Fixed
• 54:26
  Speaker 8: My Life, he was saying, you stayed with a man
• 54:28
  Speaker 8: for fourteen years, but then you left him because you
• 54:31
  Speaker 8: didn't want to have to teach thirteen. I'm sorry to
• 54:33
  Speaker 8: teach somebody how to love you right.
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: Well, you know because I right after that I left
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: that relationship, he passed, and right after that I got
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: my great grandson. So I've been grandmothering him now and
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: I want to be fully present for him. Gotcha, this
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: is a kid who doesn't have his mom or his dad.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: His grandmother, my daughter was raising him. She's gone. So
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: now he's with me. And so I made a conscious
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: choice right now that I don't want to say that's
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: my man because but he has my heart because the
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: three hearts that were closest to him he lost. I
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: don't want him to have to compete for my heart.
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: So right now he's my focus. He's eight now, so
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: I you know, hopefully everything will still be working in
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: order and man by the time he's ten, and then,
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: you know, because even to date, I don't want to
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: bring because people coming in the hot out of his
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: life has a totally different meaning. His mom's gone, his
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: dad's gone, his grandma's gone. So I'm dating somebody for
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: three months and then they're gone. What does that do
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: to him? So I'm consciously parenting in a way that
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: I didn't do it. Like it So I'm I'm but girl,
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: I got there's some eye candy out.
• 56:02
  Speaker 7: A lot of people be exhausted by outside the streets.
• 56:04
  Speaker 7: Be exhausting some people. Huh, A lot of people be
• 56:06
  Speaker 7: exhausted by the dating life. Right now, you're looking forward
• 56:08
  Speaker 7: to getting back.
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: But I want to create what I want and call him.
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: I know what he looks like.
• 56:14
  Speaker 5: I'm not.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing this, uh, you know, on the line
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: speed dating kind of stuff. I'm gonna sit right in
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: my home and I'm gonna let my lady balls hang
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: out and I'm gonna meditate. Call him it and he
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: gonna show up.
• 56:29
  Speaker 5: What about the spiritually transmitted diseases? Though?
• 56:32
  Speaker 6: Spring to get some pepe and then he doesn't put
• 56:37
  Speaker 6: all his negative spiritual.
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no no, he got no. No, he
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: can't because my qualifications or what I desire in a partner.
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: Number one, I want to make sure he has a
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: good relationship with his mother and his children. That's number one.
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: Because if you can't be in relationship with your mama,
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: Yama means great mother, I don't have a hands in hell.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: You got to be a relationship with your mom. You
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: got to be a relationship with your kids. And I
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: don't care how old he is. Although I'm going younger,
• 57:11
  Speaker 3: I gotta go a little younger.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, you want energy.
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: Because and also because my experiences a lot of brothers
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: in my age category. Yeah, I can't do the blue field.
• 57:27
  Speaker 5: It's the older other. Right now, I'll put that bluetoo
• 57:29
  Speaker 5: on you right now.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: No, you will not take your blue cho down in
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: the basement. You get out of here. I am not
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: on the blue choo committee.
• 57:49
  Speaker 7: Are you looking at like.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: That's robbery?
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: Okay? My son is fifty five.
• 57:56
  Speaker 7: I just was asking.
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: I think for seventy I can do sixty eight. You
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: know what what I said? Could he have babysat my son?
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: See if he's sixty eight, he would have been thirteen.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: He could have watched my ten year old? Gotcha, That's
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: how I'm doing. That? Is that good? That's a good man, man?
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: What a young boys gonna put it on you?
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: Listen? I had one roll up on me in the
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: gas station, and I was so out of it I
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: didn't And when I RECOGNI I said, are you are
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: you hitting on me? He said yes, ma'am, I am.
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: I said, how old are you? He said thirty seven.
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: I said, boy, police, I got bras older than you.
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: He said, I would like to see it. I couldn't
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: stop laughing. Oh yes, he said, I would love to
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: see it. Yeah, boy, you wouldn't even recognize he wouldn't
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: even know what it was. But yeah, you and we appreciate.
• 59:06
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: I'm glad that God created you.
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: Thank you, and I'm glad you're here. And I'm really
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: really happy about you going to Netflix.
• 59:13
  Speaker 5: January twenty this year.
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, well I should have waited.
• 59:21
  Speaker 5: Uary.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: You're going to Netflix January twenty six. I'm going to
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: the MGM Theater in in my first public appearance in
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: since twenty nineteen. That I'm at the MGM Theater at
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: in d C. January twenty fifth, nineteen. Yeah, wow, that's amazing.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: Can they get tickets?
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: Go to the MGM Theater thing there. I'm so excited,
• 59:51
  Speaker 3: Thank you, said he took a break degree. No, I
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: just you know, it's COVID, and then I I wasn't
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: on the show, and then I was grandmother ing, and
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: then I just you know, I've done little things here
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: and there, but me on the stage doing Oh I
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: haven't done that since twenty night time.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: Get your tickets.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Also, the inside fixed from Me is on the seventeenth
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: of this month, and thank you.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: For joining us, Thank you for having me. I really
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: got fun and I can I say this. First of all,
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: you are absolutely gorgeous. Thank you know that, right, Yes, ma'am.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: Don't let Charlamade tell you anything.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, he tells the Lauren too.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: Well, she knows she's the baby girl. She's just a
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: cutey little funking. That was the part of Don't Bother.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 7: We were calm, I mean, and it's the MGM National
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 7: Harbor website.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: Ticket you can go. And let me say this, I
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: am so proud of you.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: Really as an og, I am so proud of you
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: and the way that you present. I mean, sometimes you
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: all do a little controversial, but that's okay. I'm I'm
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: o G. But I can do this, my little ones,
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 3: keep me up today. Continue to represent yourselves and us
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: in this really powerful, productive way. I was so excited
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: when I heard about Netflix. Good, so just continue to
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: do it, okay, every day
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 5: Breakfast Club