Latest / Chavadi: The Meeting Place / Episode #33 - Shrishma Naik

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Episode #33 - Shrishma Naik · Chavadi: The Meeting Place

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, or as we say in Tulu, Namaskar.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Chowdi.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Chowdi means the meaning place.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Architecturally, it is a veranda, sometimes outside a home, sometimes within, always to welcome guests, to swap stories, debate the news, and pass the time together.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Each episode, we will bring you voices that reflect the rich tapestry of life, memories from childhood, lessons learned along the way, and the moments that stay with us forever.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Some humorous, some poignant, but always special.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Lalita Chetty.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm Sidan Chetty.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Today we invite you to our Chahoti.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Today we have Shushma Naike, aka My Miniaka, because she's my elder sister.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Minyeka grew up in Malaysia.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: She went to the US for school, went to India for a job, and now she lives in Iceland.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: She has one older sister and her parents live in India.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, Miniaka.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: How are you doing today?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Hi, Sadal.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Nice to be here.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, Minnie.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so confused.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: I just found out your real name.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is Shrishma.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's such a pretty name.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: But I call you Minnie forever because Sidvan and the family has called you Minnie.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyway, I'm glad you agreed to do this podcast because now people know that I'm not just interviewing my family.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm glad to meet uh somebody from Sidan's side.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure our listeners will be too.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: So welcome.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Glad you're here.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I think this is a good way to get out um the fact that my name real name is Shrishma.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think for the longest time no one actually knew mine or my sister's real name because everyone just referred to us by uh Isha and Mini.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, so thank you for having me.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really excited to be here, and it's uh such a cool concept for a podcast.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: But before you guys ask me a question, uh, what kind of motivated you or inspired you uh to start this podcast?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, you're really flipping the script here, actually.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this is our first guest to do this.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: But hello, Yolon, do you want to go first?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, for me it was just, you know, I'm not I wasn't a big podcast listener, but when I had retired and I had gone to my daughter's place, uh she said, Mommy, you'd love this podcast because I love basketball.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: So she had me listen to the Steam Room, uh, Chuck and Ernie, and I loved that.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then she had me listen to an interview, uh, I think Amy Polar with Michelle Obama, and that was beautiful.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: And with me, I'm always thinking, hmm, how can I do this?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Would I be able to do it?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: And since it came at this perfect time of retirement, I thought uh, you know, I was trying to think who I could do it with because I wasn't confident enough to do it on my own.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, okay, I need a male to give that male perspective.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I need someone younger to give the, you know, to give that perspective.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: And uh the first person that came to mind who might be kind enough and patient enough with me was Siddhan, because he has this mix of modern and traditional.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I just thought, okay, and so I messaged him and he was like, sure, let's do this.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's my reason for doing it.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought I know Bunts and I know education.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: So for a listener, you know, group of listeners, I would think that might be it.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how Chaudi came into being.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think for me the motivation um is yeah, growing up, I always used to enjoy listening to stories, even as a kid.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I always used to ask my elder cousins, uncles, aunties just to tell me stories because they're fun to listen to.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think as you grow older, people start telling you less stories because it feels childish.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I really have always enjoyed listening to people's stories and how they landed in the position they are now.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think for me, it's like when Lalandy asked me that, it's it was a very cool concept.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: All we're all Lalanti and I are doing here is just asking questions and listening to it.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Asking people, yeah.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's quite easy and fun also to see um how people reacted in similar situations in different ways and things like that.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: So um now this is a Unicus podcast.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: So no, it was just super cool because I think I love you know, when you share stories, you you learn so much about people that I think in this world that we're in, we've kind of started to disconnect.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think learning stories about our past and where we come from really in help us inform where we want to go, right?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know, it was really cool, and thank you for doing this.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and uh it's it's quite inspiring.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe I can convince some of my cousins.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yes, do that.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I can't I can't I can't for double duty, I'm sorry.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: True, but it's true, like y'all say, you know, my part was just about me taking that leap to doing this.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: But the more stories I listen to, because I mean I'm a lot older than you all, so I've heard a lot more stories.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: But even now, in through this podcast, listening to people's stories, it is just amazing how one people have grown up differently, but two, they've also grown up similarly, and yet the stories met so well.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been encouraging because we've had so many people tell us about the stories they've heard and that have kind of helped them, you know, in or had them think about things in a different way.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: So that's but now, Minnie, it is our podcast.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: So let us take back the wheel.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: I will take back.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: I I've been uh accused before of taking over uh taking over the show, so I give it back to you.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: We'll take the wheel now.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, let's start listening to your story.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um so yeah, talk about growing up in Malaysia.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, tell us about those cultural clashes that you may have had because your parents wanted to retain your Indian identity.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um so my dad grew up in in Mangalore and my mom was was from Bombay, so they had those you know typical arranged marriages that they have at that time.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: My dad likes to describe it that he was a little boy from the village, and my mom was this big city girl uh that that he got, and then they both went and settled down in Baroda for a while.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: My dad was doing his PhD at his at that time, and so once he'd completed his PhD, he got this opportunity to go work in Malaysia to work at a pharmaceutical company.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: So um he's a pharmacist by profession, and he ran a company out there for the last almost 30 years.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so me, my mom, my older sister, Shruti or Isha moved there.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: I was all of three years old, and we lived there till I moved to go to the US for college.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: During that time, we lived in the small town called Sungai Katani, which was close to the more well-known city of Penang.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and yeah, so we spent all of our school years there.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: We we grew up there, um, we had a home there for a while.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and now very recently, about four years ago, my parents have moved back to India, so they're resettled in in Mangalore now.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Growing up in Malaysia was an interesting experience.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: We went to uh international school.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so it was, you know, Malaysia was one of the a previous colony of the British, so there was a lot of remnants of the British Empire there, and one of them was you know the school that they had, and so it was a British international school, so we grew up, you know, very uh eclectic, diverse um environment, even at that time.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so we were always you know surrounded by people from many different cultures and many different places, but I think one of the things that my parents probably their fear also was that us growing up there, growing up outside of India, we would forget our Indian roots and where we were from, and that we were you know from Mangalore and that we were bunt.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I when we were at home, I think it was always we're Indian first, we're bunt, and then everything else, you know.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I think those concepts were very important for us.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um we, you know, they made sure we spoke Tulu.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: So I both me and my sister um speak the language um quite quite well, I would say.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: Uh better than Sudan at least.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Very easy to be better than me because mine's at uh a baseline level, if anything.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: But I I make fun more fun of my other cousin uh because she grew up in Mumbai and I know better Tulu than her.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's my my claim to fame.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sure they all appreciate that.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I think so that was very important for for my mom and dad because I could remember almost every summer we would be in India.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you know, we would spend time in both our grandmother's house, my mom's mom was in in Bombay, and then dad's mom was in Bangalore, and then there was you know a big contingent of the family was in Bangalore.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: So we always spent time in in those three cities, and you know, there were some years where my mom wouldn't travel, so they would put me and my sister on the plane, just the two of us with the supervised care and just send us off to India for the summer.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think it was in their way, and I think maybe maybe they feel hopefully they feel the same way, but I think from their perspective was to keep our connection with our family in India and where we're from.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think that way we learned the language as well.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_02: And for them, I think it was important because they wanted us to be able to communicate with our grandparents um or our grandmothers and you know our family in India.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: So that was very important for them that we had that connection.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so even at home, uh, we would try and speak always in in fully, although most of the arguments had happened in English because that was always easier.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um but I think it was a I would say a good childhood.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, we had great exposure in our school.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: It was a good school, we got a good education.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um that time being able to speak English well was a big thing.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: So um, we obviously in school we picked up the accents, the more Americanized or the more westernized accents, um, being in the international school.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then when we came home and we tried to use that accent at home, my mom wasn't having it.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: So she's like, you know, don't use those, uh, don't use that accent with me.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so actually, if you ever hear me and my sister, we're I we have this ability to switch our accents, um, whether you know, so and then I think it um, you know, if I'm speaking to someone from the US versus India, you can always tell the difference.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think that's I can tell it also like when Minika talks to me versus my cousin in India.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can tell it can also um because it definitely is like a in accent switch, which is which is like who's who's who's talking now?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like what's going on?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um and sometimes I feel like I'm a translator for the both of them.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, because you know, he'll say something in a real American accent and she won't understand it, um, or she'll say something in a real Indian accent accent and he won't understand it.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I think those that's quite uh the connective technique needed in this world right now.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I'm curious.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you talked a lot about your parents with the strong focus on maintaining your Indian roots and everything.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, tell us about growing up in Malaysia, like in terms of like the Malaysian influence, how do you summarize that in your life?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh what do you think percolated um through your your parents' sort of shield, I guess?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I feel like um I don't think I've held on.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I won't say I'm very connected to Malaysia, uh, to be very honest.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh I spent a good portion of my childhood there, but I don't have like this connection to the place.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we when we were growing up, there weren't a lot of other Bunt families there, but there were a lot of other Indian families within the same society.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so we always kind of were in that bubble almost.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and then in school, of course, my parents, as with all of our parents, were very strict about, you know, you you just go to school and you come home.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_02: And obviously, we could do some extra we did a lot of extracurricular activities in school.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but outside of that is like you come home, and then it was a very kind of protected uh life that we had.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but we had our nice friend group within all the Indian families that we had, and we would all go watch movies together and things like that.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I think I won't say a lot of Malaysia snuck in, but a lot of like celebrating the fact that we were Indian there, there was a lot of freedom to do that.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: In Malaysia itself, there's a big Indian population, so it was not like we were in a complete foreign land.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and the food is almost like there's a lot of coconut, there's a lot of fish, there's a lot of the things you get in Mangalore, you would get in Malaysia.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: So that we never missed anything except having the broader family around us.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um but we had still this very close-knit Indian community that we had built, and my parents were very uh strong part of that, and we all all the kids then of those families, we were friends.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of even my friends from that time, I don't have many local Malaysian friends that I would say.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: All my friends were children of the other Indian families that lived there, or the people that I went to school with, and they were all never really Malaysian anyway, because they were all international students at that school.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so my ties to Malaysia weren't that much.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: I will say uh the Malaysian food is probably the best food out of anywhere that I've ever heard.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: It is very good food, yeah.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so that part of it I will I'm so grateful I got to eat a lot of so much good food in Malaysia.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I feel like I didn't appreciate it when I was there.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but maybe today, once I get to go back, you know, you'll really relish um the food.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: But that that was probably the biggest memory that I hold of the time in Malaysia.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but also our school was um, I'll I can tell you this story.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: So um our school was an international school and it was an old, it used to be an old church that they converted into a school, and it was right on the coast of the uh in Penang.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um so it was our school, there was our road, and then there was the beach essentially.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, a very beautiful location.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I went there in 2017 to visit the that same place, um, and they had converted it into a mall.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: So it was actually a really sad to go back to see that, you know, they've they've maintained like the the structure, the church, the church, which was the cultural heritage that they weren't allowed to tear down, but then they've built basically a big mall around uh around it.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um and that was actually a really I didn't think it would affect me so much, but to go back and then see like, oh, this has just been replaced by you know um development and capitalism, and they've taken all my memories away, you know.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it was it was it was uh yeah, it was a little sad.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but the school itself relocated to another location, so even that connection I feel is a little bit gone because like that physical space is not there anymore.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I think Malaysia, not so much.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, but the there's a lot of good memories, yeah.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: The food and just growing up there, like um because you know, it was uh there was a big Indian population, so there was big celebrations in the valley, and even at home, you know, it was a big event for us.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um but then sorry to interrupt, but I think like you know, like you said for your parents also, it was India first, then Band, and that sounds like that's how you grew up.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: And when you talk about learning Tulu, my kids loved learning Tulu because to them it was their secret language in the US.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay, yeah.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: They tried to use it in mangalo, and I'm like, you do know everybody's yeah, so that was funny, but you know, sort of that kind of though keeps us tied with the bunt and the band traditions, things like that.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: But what would you say is something that equates to bunt for you?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it does sound like there's been that thread of buntism, if you want, if you for me, the first one is I would say the because that was the biggest thing you'd always have at home is all the uh uh festivals or everything surrounded around the food that mom would make for the event, you know.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_02: So um the fact, like I'll proudly say the best food in India is in Mangalore, and that's Kodi Ruti, like that thing will be you know a good koi rutti or you know, mean fry and mean fry the rice flakes, and then um the fish fry that they make at home.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was one of the main things, but also you know, the fact that it's our language and that I can speak the language, that was a big thing.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and also like a lot of the rituals around the festivals that we you know, the valley was a big thing for us.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: So the connection to the religious part of the culture.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, both my parents are very religious, and that was a big part uh of our lives as well, like making sure you you pray before you go out in the morning, Saturdays going to the temple.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so you know, just the fact that those were always constants in our lives.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: That way we never forgot why we do it, and that would always link to the fact that you know, this is how they did it back home, and home was always manglore.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and even the surnames, right?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like my name is Nike.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but the fact that we weren't setty, but we were still shatty, you know.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's funny how people yeah, they do refer to bunts as shatties because that is one of the most common last names.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, you also talked about going to kolas as a kid, you know, that's more uh again praying to the spirits that protect our families.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh, what's your experience or your uh journey from going to the kolas as a kid as opposed to going now?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I um so I remember we did go as a kid, and I know I mean I didn't really understand at that time what it was about.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: It was just, you know, there was someone who was dancing, and I didn't kind of really understand, yeah, understand what was going on.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: And then obviously as a kid, you're more worried about like you know, going to sleep or you're tired.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: So your your um your priorities are very different.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but uh I think as we grow older, and especially now, um because there's more people talking about what it is and explaining, you know, in in ways that we can understand what is a cola, what is the significance behind it, going now, I think it has a different meaning because that you know, you really understand that oh, these people, you know, what they're trying to do is kind of um pull through the spirit of your ancestors and bring through stories.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm you know much more a spiritual person now than I was back then, so I think that in itself almost elevates the experience.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I haven't been recently, I think the last time, because in my dad's home they have them almost every year.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: So um I would have, I think I went a couple of years ago, maybe.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, I think to watch it is something else, you know, just to see the amount of effort that they put into it and try to understand that the stories that they're telling.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's quite it's quite um nice to see.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um once you also get over the fact that it's really hot in Major.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: True.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just curious, sorry.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, your dad is from Ulipadi, right?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's his family home.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so my my cousin's husband is also from there, and their big temple is the Devi Temple, Polali Devi Temple.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Have you been there?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's beautiful, it's an image of the thing.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Even with the the renovations that they've done, but such a beautiful temple.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: My dad is a very strong believer of the Devis there.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um and we go every year, so every time we go to India and we go to Mangalore, we have to go to Pulali Temple, Kati Temple, and then a couple of the family temples as well.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: We never leave without doing that little tour.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the temple, yeah, exactly.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think even that has started to have more meaning for me now than it used to do in the past because now you start to understand, you know, it's not just about oh, it's another temple visit, it's a place to kind of connect with some energies from the past and you use that as you go into your day-to-day routine.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's a really important part of whether you're religious or not, but I think having that respect for the energies around those places are very important.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: So that's true, very beautifully put.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um switching gears a little bit because I want to talk about your Foreshadowing a little bit, but you have three big moves that you basically do in life.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, let's talk about your first big move.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, your first big move was basically going to um going to college in America.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about sort of how you lend in on UTD, uh, those conversations with your parents about like they seem they seem like they're sort of protecting you throughout high school, making sure that you're needs Indian roots, and now they're setting you up to America.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, what what does that look like?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, what is that anxiety or excitement like?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um for sure.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: I think there I have to give 100% credit to my sister, as much as it pains me.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'm just kidding.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Uh no, my sister I would say was probably the trailblazer when it came to both of us going to the US for our education.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think my dad's biggest thing was education.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: I he was able to um, you know, just through his sheer will and determination and pushing through, get his PhD, you know, build this life for his family and not just us, but even his siblings and extended family as well.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: So for him, even though we were girls, it was never like a oh, you know, your girl, like, no, you guys are gonna study and you guys are gonna make a good life for yourself.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: So that was always at the top of everything.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I think my sister was inherently smarter than most, in that uh, you know, studies, I I don't know, maybe she doesn't see it this way, but as an outside uh observer of her, it she was very smart and she always did really well in school.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: And she always had, you know, I think in her mind, she always wanted to go out and study either in the UK or the US.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: And because we were in international school, we had the counseling to support us to evaluate those opportunities.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: So we had really good um teachers and and mentors at that time that supported the applications that we had to do both to UK and to the US.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so the way the education was in the U in my school is we did the GCSEs and then we did the IGCSEs.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so O levels and A levels, however, it kind of splits up.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: So the US version of freshman and sophomore year.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: So like your freshman and sophomore year would be your O-level equivalent, and then junior and senior would be like the A-level or IB equivalent.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so she wanted to go to the UK or outside of our current school, outside of Malaysia at her freshman year level, you know, already then.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: But I think my parents were like, no, it's too soon, you can't go.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so they weren't really comfortable at that time.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: And then it came to go to college, and then at that point, she was like, No, I'm going to go somewhere for college.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I think everyone had my dad was like, Yes, she's gotten the grades, she has the drive to do it, we're not gonna stop, you know.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: You can if you get a good scholarship somewhere, you can go uh wherever you want.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so and I think at that time she applied to the city.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: And were you also pushing, I guess, as a friend?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: No, I was no, I was not.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: It caused a lot of arguments between my parents and my sister.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like for a long time they would argue about this stuff, and so I think I was kind of like, Oh, can you guys just stop arguing?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I was kind of getting annoyed with the general arguing that was going on.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I kind of like I didn't, it didn't really bother me at that time.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_02: It didn't strike what she was doing, but clearly she was setting the path for the both of us.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'll never forget the day I saw her get her SAT report, and she just ran around the room because she got this really good SAT score.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_02: So that was like the ticket out of there.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: And she got into some really good schools in the US.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I think still my mom was hesitant about sending her daughter out to the US with no support.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and that's where enterstage uh Maheshti, who then uh who then you know did the convincing.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's when UT Dallas came was then put on the table as an option, which was it was a good school, it was in Dallas.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um Mahesh Rama was there, you know, in case anything went wrong.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: So he was you know then the guardian they could trust and support, and she got a full scholarship.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it all kind of uh worked out.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um for context, Mahesh Anko is also one of our parents' siblings.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: Siblings, exactly.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_02: My mom's brother.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's seven of them, so there's a there's a lot spread around.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um so uh so yeah, so then she went, so she got the ball rolling, she went to UTD, and then yeah, two years later I showed up and was like, hey, so I also went to UTD.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, I did my IB in my last two years.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh, you know, got into UTD and the rest is history.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: The rest is history, yeah.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you majored in molecular biology, I know Isheka was also part of the sciences, your dad was also in the pharma field, correct?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Was it very intentional for all three of you all to be in the sciences?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think I think perhaps it was more intentional for them.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I was more like, okay, it looks like this is what they're doing, so I'll do it too.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't really at that time think about um perhaps what I want.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: It was just like, okay, this seems like a good idea, and you know, they seem to be doing it, so it, so I'll just kind of follow down this path.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: I think when I went to college, I really didn't know what I wanted to do.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: I was fairly good at the sciences anyway.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: So it was more like go with the flow kind of situation.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um but I didn't, I don't think I knew.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: Even now, if you ask me, do I know what I want to do?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: I would say I don't.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's a like interesting.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a tough, uh tough decision.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: I was just looking at uh reels to make um candles, you know.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: I start my own candles.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's fair.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, and then and then also like this is your first first time living outside of Malaysia.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um correct, alone, yeah.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your freedom.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: How is those?
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: I guess four, and you also did your MBA, so like what five years?
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so it was about seven years.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: I did four years of undergrad and then two years of MBA, so I was there for about seven and a half years.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so six years of freedom um coming from Malaysia, how was that experience?
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was, you know, when you let the bird out of the cage kind of situation.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: No, but it was good.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: I had a good time, I really enjoyed my college experience.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, however, I think during this time it's probably the furthest I was from anything bunt or anything Indian.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: I think I used this opportunity to explore everything else.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because I think as you grow up and in your teenage years, you're, you know, when you're for you're not even forced, but if your parents tell you to do something, your automatic reaction is to do the exact opposite.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so as a 17-year-old, I was like, okay, what is how can I go furthest away from everything that I was supposed to do?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and so I just had a really good time.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, um, you know, maintaining grades was one of the priorities, maybe not always the top one for me.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I really had a good time in college.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: I was part of a sorority there, I did a lot of extracurricular activities on campus.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I also discovered during that time that I didn't want to do research and I didn't want to do a PhD.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's when I realized going after the PhD was probably not what I wanted to do.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: I worked at a lab in UT Southwestern for about a you a year and a half, and I absolutely hated that experience.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: I could not be cooped up in a lab and I realized like this cannot be the rest of my life.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so and I think that clarity was important, right?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it then forced me to look at other options of what I could do and uh and could want to do, but um, that's when when I graduated with my bachelor's, um that's when I decided to then do an MBA because I was like, maybe I want to, and I remember saying very vividly at that time, I think I want to do something that's a bridge between science and business.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so that that kind of concept stuck in my head.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then so I did my MBA, and then when I did finally start working, it was as a project manager, which was interestingly, uh, you know, project manager for research and development, which ended up getting me into a role which was a bridge between science and and development.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: So um somehow early I said something and then kind of came into fruition, and I thought that was quite quite an interesting um the way things worked out perspective.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, very cool.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: But then earlier you told us that then you made your next big move to India, yes.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I can even imagine after having that kind of uh different experience in Malaysia and then the freedom of the US to go and live in India.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: Did you live with your parents?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Did you what caused that move back to India?
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Or were you enjoying too much freedom and your parents said, you know what?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, come on back.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm kidding.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe, maybe that was the undercurrent that really you know uh diverted my path.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_02: But um, no, actually what happened is I graduated with my MBA.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then you know, when you're on a student visa and you don't have the actual whole work visa thingy, I found it quite a challenge to find a job to stay in the US.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then I just I think had three offers by this time, and all of them kind of uh didn't work out at the final step because of the visa status and they couldn't switch it.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: So at the the third time that happened, I think I kind of lost it.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I call I remember calling my dad, and I just started crying and I was like, I can't do this, like blah blah blah.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: So he's like, just come home to India, we'll figure it out.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it happened almost overnight.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like that happened.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: We booked it, like you know, he booked the tickets for me, and then um I moved back, and it was almost like um like my world flipped upside down because I was like one minute I was exactly where I thought I wanted to be, and then the last place I ever wanted to go was back to India at that.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I there was no, like that was like worst case scenario in my mind was going back to India, and that was what happened.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that was daddy saving his baby girl, yeah, exactly.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: But my parents still lived in Malaysia at that time, so they were in Malaysia.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and we didn't have uh citizenship in Malaysia, so my passport was still Indian, so the only place I really could go back was Malay, it was India.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I had never lived in India before this.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, we'd only been there every for summer vacations and you know, fun stuff, and now they're like, okay, go and work a real life there in India.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: So actually, that was probably the scariest, you know, quite I was quite scared about what the decision that had happened and you know, everything that we were doing.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_02: But um, at that time I came back um and I was living with my uncle in Mangalore, in Bangalore, sorry.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then uh again it took uh almost three or four months for me to find a job once I moved there.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um so then I I stayed, you know, they were kind enough to let me stay with them for the first three or four months.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then once I found a job, then I moved in with with my cousins in into another smaller apartment closer to work.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because one thing you learn about living in Bangalore is it takes a very long time to commute.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so I mean that's why I always say moving to India for me was a bigger culture shock than it was when I moved to the US for college, and it took me quite a while to get acclimatized to living in India, the traffic, what is expected, even to how I would dress.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was very casual in the US, you can wear whatever you want, but okay, now you have to be mindful of what you wear and how you dress.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_02: And because I'd just come back from the US, my accent was still very, you know, very much I hadn't learned to adapt it quite well.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so here you are in India, but everyone can tell that you're not really from there because you spend time outside, so you're in this gray area of uh, you know, not yet uh not fully Indian, but still, you know, so that was a very um uh interesting phase.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then I moved to Koramangla, which is a very exciting part of Bangalore.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's a lot going on, there's a younger vibe.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: I would say, not that my uncle's place didn't have a younger vibe, but you know, to me as a young 20-something, you know, uh, you wanna wanna be out there a little bit.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_02: And Koramangla was a great place to stay.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very thankful for my cousins.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, all of my cousins play a very big role in my life.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think they've all like really helped me out.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_02: And that's probably one of the reasons why I was today when I look back, I'm so grateful that I did move back to India.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because um I was able to reconnect with my family there, um, my family in Mangalore, a lot of my dad's family that I hadn't really spent time with growing up, um, or we just see each other for a few days here and there when we would visit.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I think it was I'm very grateful now that I was able to go back.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I could attend family events, so then you really value all of the things, all of the traditions and stuff that happened in Mangalore.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_02: Not that I went often, but I would and that makes a difference.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I picked up Kanara here and there, so I can speak a little bit more, and there's the typical Bangalore accent.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_02: So, like now I have added that to my repertoire.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that's very cool, and that's cool.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: But uh, so many uh because of course now in a girl's life, especially you've gone to school, you've gone to college, you've done your thing, you've been independent.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, now time to uh talk about uh marriage, right?
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: Did you have that battle between romance and marriage?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, did you date anybody?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: Or and if you don't want to talk about it, that's totally fine.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but uh, I'm just curious when you know, because back in my day, and I'm probably 30, 40 years older than you, it was not a choice, like an arranged marriage was what we had to do.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um then it started easing up a little bit, and your time, I know it depended on the family.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: Some families were still not okay with romancing and finding your own uh spouse.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: What about your uh situation?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: Especially now you're in India.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, I mean, I think in in that way, my my parents were very um traditional, and the expectation was always you know, go to school, uh, education first.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: But of course, there was always this big blooming thing of um, you know, their daughters, and we have to get married, and um, you have to find, you know, the the whole podoo was like a word that we you know we learned from very early on.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_02: So explain what yeah, so which is basically like the proposal that comes for the wedding and finding the right proposal, and um, so that was that was a big thing for us for my parents.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um I remember when as we would grow up, we would always have these debates with our parents about arranged marriage versus loved marriage and how it's to find the right partner with the right family is important, and but also this, you know, like what will others say, those themes they hear about, you know, we would always have those clashes at home.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think even there, I never said I didn't want to get married, I was always like, you know, if the right person comes along, of course I'll give it a chance.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: But um, because I had my older sister, so there was, you know, there was always the search or everyone wants the both of us to get married, and trying to, I think like all the um relatives were helping and supporting.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_02: But my sister was very clear she wanted to finish her PhD before she gets married, and you know, so they were for the longest time bothering her rather than bothering me.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, um, but then I think once I moved to India, then I was prime target number two.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I was thinking.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: She has landed, and also there was easy access because I was right there, you know, so I couldn't give it uh to all the functions and everything.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: Totally makes sense.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so so that was interesting.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_02: For me, it was I would say it was a little bit of a a tough journey because I didn't I I I wanted to, I you know, of course you want something to work out.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um you know, I guess for everyone, I'm not married.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um but I just yeah, but I think it was tough because there's this expectation of um, oh you know, you have to be ready to to sacrifice or adjust.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't think those were ever the things.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: It was, you know, who is the right person that you're willing to do it for.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and I think I can share this openly now.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_02: So there was at one point where um I did get engaged, so I had met a guy and the proposal got fixed.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then we I called off uh the engagement.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_02: I said, you know, I I really can't do this.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I think for me, what I realized was so the event that kind of um I made this decision based off.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: So we were at another function I had attended with uh um with the person I was engaged to at the time.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you know, we had to do the rounds where we I was standing next to him and everyone was coming and talking to us, yeah, just kind of smiling and saying yes and being real polite and just doing all of these things.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I almost had this like out of body experience where I was looking at myself and saying, Is this really what you're gonna do?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_02: I could feel like it was not like I was not being yeah, I was not comfortable, I was genuinely faking it the whole time for two hours.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I was like, I don't think that this is something that I see myself or this is not a role that I fit into.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I don't think that I would be happy if I went down this path.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think as much as it hurt everyone around me, I think I made the best decision for both me and him.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because I don't think I would have been able, I'm pretty sure I would not have been able to make his life happy either.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, and I think it's the realization of just because it works for everyone doesn't and just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it's a wrong.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think after that I was very like, okay, like it has to be a hundred percent or it's not happening at all.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's why I think there are many ways, you know, life can have many, many different versions of it.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think if you're okay to accept that um one version is not better than the other, but be open to the experience that each version can bring, I think that's when you start to appreciate what then life has to offer.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's where I wish everyone could understand that life doesn't have to be one way, it can be many ways and still be okay.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it just is up about what is best for you, exactly.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because if if uh you're not happy, nobody is happy.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there is some level of uh adjustments, but if you're giving in too much, then it's not good for it.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I think you have to find a life almost where you're truly like just be yourself and that's okay.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_02: And the whole being authentic to who you are.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's a lot, it's a very buzzy word, but I think if you just you can't it's challenging to stay somewhere where you're unhappy.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I think you shouldn't do that to yourself or to people around you.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I think the people who love you will always stay with you no matter what.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and this works, sorry, not just for arranged marriages, it works for exactly love marriages too.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: You have to be authentic, true to yourself, absolutely, and like you said, people that love you will always be with you behind supporting you, yeah.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I always tell I give them very bad advice, like you know, just do what makes your heart happy.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know, don't you don't have to do A, B, C, and D in that order.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_02: You can do it in any order that you want, as long as you're there for the people who love you.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 60 plus years, and I totally wished people had said that before.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: And in the spirit of sort of operating and where you are and being comfortable with who you are, um, the final move that you did is or that you currently are at is Iceland.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um and why I describe it as being who you are, because I've I think I've told you this before, but I I feel like Iceland totally describes who you are and it's the perfect setting for you.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um there's a small anecdote, but a couple of my cousins and I we visited Muniac in Iceland um a few years ago, and it was a very simple slogan that she was telling me about, but the slogan is Theta Veta.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is am I saying that right?
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: What is it called?
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's tetaretas.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but but the premise is everything will be okay.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that same premise, that's what Minika sort of brought into my life.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: Everything will be okay, relax, take a breath.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and for me, it's like it was weird because um when we got to Iceland, we had a flat tire experience, and I was like, what the what are we doing?
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta figure this out, and then Minika comes with her tetareta, like everything will be okay, like some random Icelander will help us.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, Iceland, I feel like totally fits you and the life that you want to build.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: But tell us from your experience, how was that move from like these are polar opposite places?
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: India, Iceland is like a crazy move.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um I feel like you should definitely you might have sort of experienced a culture shock because it's truly a new place, right?
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this norded culture is very different.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, tell us about that move and how that experience was.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, so as I said, while I was at Bangalore, I started working with a company called BioCon.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so while all this marriage drama was happening on this side, my career was actually doing fairly well.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so uh that was my kind of like ticket out of there, if you will.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I found a job with a company that was based out of Iceland, and I worked for them from India for a year, and then they offered me the opportunity to transfer and relocate to Iceland.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and at that time, my main attitude was, yeah, why not?
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_02: This could be a really good thing.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so I picked up my bags and I moved to Iceland.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I would say that was definitely a culture shock because one, um first of all, the weather patterns.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so in Iceland, you have the really long days and you have the super short days in the winter.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_02: So that was one adjustment.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um and then this move was interesting because I was moving for work.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like at this point of life, people are not as social.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_02: People are more in their own kind of, you know, starting their family, they're setting up their lives.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: The social networks that I had when I moved to Dallas or when I moved to India, those same kind of social networks weren't available when I moved to Iceland.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_02: But nonetheless, I think I got here for work, got stuck into work, and made really good friends and colleagues at work that kind of helped me with my transition into Iceland.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but what happened?
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: I moved and then we had COVID.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I didn't leave then again for two years.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_02: So almost those two years of COVID, I was stuck in Iceland by myself.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I think those were very transformational years in that um you don't have anything to do but kind of you know talk to yourself.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_02: So you learn a lot about what you want for yourself, and I think the thing about Iceland is um it's a very peaceful place when you cut out all the noise, and then you're just like, okay, this is quite nice, and you can create your own pace um that you want to live in.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_02: People don't really bother you, so you can kind of live the lifestyle that you would like.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I had a good job, so you have that financial security as well.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, in terms of safety, you don't have to worry about anything.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so it just kind of became home.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: I started in one kind of smaller studio apartment and I moved to another apartment that I live in now, and it's got this beautiful view.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_02: You can see the northern lights in the winter from the apartment.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, it's just one of these, just very grateful that it kind of worked out this way.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_02: And also at the same time, I can still go back and travel to India when I need to.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_02: So when the winters are really long, I try to spend maybe six weeks or longer in India, so then I can still kind of, you know, um have a longer time at home and it's not just a one or two week thing.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the other things that happened in Iceland is that I I missed food from home so much.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I had to learn how to make like dosas myself from like scratch.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_02: Iceland.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: I got there and the country is beautiful, the people are great, but the food is really bad.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: And especially if you grew up in Malaysia and then also had that exposure to Indian food.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um I can imagine how hard that's gonna be.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_02: And my mom's been trying to teach for years, like, you know, making dosa is quite simple, just do this, this, and this, and then grind it.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah, yeah, I never paid attention to her until one day I was like, Can you tell me how to make dosa again?
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, then I grinded the whole thing and like I let it sit for the night.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: And the day I made my first dosa was like this big victory in my life.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_02: I made dosa from scratch, man.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_02: I called her and I told her when festivals come about, like I'll do stuff, I'll make sweet at home because you know it's supposed to be sweet things that I wouldn't do before I find myself doing now just to kind of remind my like because I feel like when I was in Dallas, I completely didn't think about Indian or like my roots at all.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_02: And then I was in India and it kind of reminded me why someone so many of those things were important.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_02: Where now I feel like I'm grateful for that.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_02: So I remember some of those pieces that I still have that you know I don't want to forget again.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_02: There are some pieces that are beautiful and important.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it kind of keeps, you know, being rooted is also in its way um quite quite important as well, and um really appreciate the the the family and the love that I have um at home while also trying to build like you know my life and career out here, which has been you know an interesting experience so far.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and I feel like you made it home there.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like you you know Icelandic a little bit, you got your PR, like you've done the the steps, and you're always exploring Iceland.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_00: I whenever I call Minia every month or so, she's in a random cabin just out in Iceland exploring.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's a very beautiful place.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_02: You should definitely come visit Auntie and then Sudan come again, please.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a very easy country to explore, like yes, there's a ring road that goes around the circumference of the country, so you can start at Munika's house and then end your trip and then go around.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um exactly, but yeah, so switching gears a little bit, just ending, just wrapping it up uh a little bit.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um talking about your extracurriculars and activities, right?
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: So we've done your three big moves.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, curious, what are some other activities?
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know podcasting is something that you got into during COVID, I believe.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um anything else you want to talk about?
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_02: I would say my podcasting was something that I fell into also during my time in Iceland.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um, a really good friend of mine used to run his own podcast here and produced it all himself.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_02: So um we kind of joined forces and we did podcasts about movies.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I also hosted one called Bureay for Bollywood, where I made these guys watch Bollywood movies, and then we talked about the cultural experience of them watching Bollywood movie for the first time and what they thought about it.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_02: They were really good sports about it.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_02: They watched it and they commented, and we got some really good episodes out of it, and so I think that's when I realized I love talking apparently.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_02: So you just gotta put me in front of a microphone.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh it looks like.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I also during my time here and COVID learned how to knit.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, which I knit, I I guess you can say knitted is a word.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_02: I knitted.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um I knitted a few hats and then I got bored after that.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_02: I walk a lot now.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: Iceland is a lovely walkable city, um, and there's just some beautiful places that you can go to.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_02: So um just going on long, relaxing walks, especially at work here, can be a little bit stressful.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a good stress reliever for me.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_02: But I feel the added bonus of it just being so beautiful is a good motivator on its own to get out there.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_02: So that's great.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you said something about lifting, right?
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yes, I did start.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I decided again, everything kind of stems from COVID.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: I was a couch potato for two years because of COVID.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then at the at the end of it, I realized that um, you know, it's not probably not the healthiest lifestyle to live.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I started lifting.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I go there at least thrice three times a week.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, it's another good stress reliever, I think, and you get healthy at the same time.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been something that um I try to keep doing more consistently.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that has just been really good for for my, you know, just overall like well-being, but mental health as well.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_02: I feel uh was very important for me.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_00: Especially in stressful situations, right?
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it really helps.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's like boxing a little bit.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, yeah, coming to the close, obviously, this has been a great podcast, great episode.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure we can keep talking.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um but uh yeah, this we always end our podcast with standard questions, but uh curious, looking back on your life, the three different big moves, all the different journeys that you've taken.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um what are things that you've learned about yourself that you would that you feel have really helped you?
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: What are the waves and the storms in life, yeah um, and have kept you grounded that you would want the next generation, people like Hardig and I uh to take away and really like if if there's one thing that one piece of advice you would want to give us, um, what would it be?
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: She's not that much older than you, Sidan, but again it's okay.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 3010.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_03: It's funny.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think my biggest word of advice and and what I always is just don't let the fear like other people's fear hold you back from doing what you not what you want to do, but experiencing what life has to offer.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think that sometimes, you know, whether it's our parents or the fear of what could go wrong stops us from doing things that could really be beautiful at the end of it.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I think don't let the social constructs or or you know other people's fear hold you back, but also just keep an open mind.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_02: I think, as I said earlier, there's there's always 10 paths in front of you, and just because most people are going down one doesn't mean the other one is is is um less beautiful or or um fulfilling in any other way.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_02: Just be open to life experiences, I think one way or the other.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I always say that we're protected by the blessings of the family of our families, all the prayers of our grandmas and family and our moms and dads, they protect us and will never steer us wrong.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_02: So just go out there and live and don't let fear hold you back, and then just be grateful, always be grateful, I think is the big one.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's uh that's a that's great advice.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I've heard it before.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's beautiful advice.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, no, but this has been an awesome podcast.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Minecraft.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_00: I thank you.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely feel like you're one of those sources of perspective um that has like has always called me during these big moments and checked in on me.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_00: I sometimes I have a one-track mind, and Mineca always tells me to like look around and just enjoy the flowers a little bit.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I definitely appreciate that perspective in my life.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, thank you.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Minnie, thank you so much for joining us.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you've had some really beautiful things to say.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_01: Family, the blessings of family are always with you.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, do what makes you happy.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to follow the path of the people before you, just do what makes you and hopefully I get it right.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_01: Theta Reta.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_02: Teta Reta, yeah, exactly.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_01: So uh hopefully that is your motto.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: That seems like it is, and yes, you're right, things will happen the way they're meant to happen, but with the blessings of people before you.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_01: So good luck in the future, Minnie.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_02: I love you.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for having me.