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Crush Overwhelm: Master Work-Life Balance Through Effective Communication With Dana Zellers · Speak In Flow

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  Melinda Lee: Welcome, dear listeners to the speak and flow
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  podcast, where we share unique experiences to help you unleash
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  your leadership voice. Today we have Dana Zellers, executive
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  coach, she is known to help you crush it from being crushed. Or
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  it's crushed. Crushed it from being crushed.
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  Dana Zellers: Yeah, go for being crushed to crush again.
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  Melinda Lee: Yes, go from being crushed to crush it. That's
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  right. I love that. I love that it's so true. Because I mean,
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  when we're doing so much, we often feel like oh, my goodness,
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  like the world is crashing in caving in on us. And we don't we
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  want to avoid that. And so I have you here today. Thank you
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  so much for sharing your wisdom with us on how do we do this?
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  Like, what did I mean, tell us more about that, like going into
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  that where your leaders when people come to you? What are
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  they feeling?
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  Dana Zellers: Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I think mostly
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  when leaders come to me it is they're feeling overwhelmed.
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  They're feeling all of this pressure, they really want to be
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  successful at work. And historically, that has meant
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  more and more and more hours and more tasks and more things. And
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  they usually come to me when they're getting to the point
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  where they're realizing that their personal life is
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  suffering, their family is getting frustrated with him
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  always being unavailable or having a phone out at every
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  conversation. Maybe their health is starting to fail. Maybe
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  they're just looking at what am I doing from now until they
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  retire? Like is this what it looks like? Or is there a way
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  that I can get back to a better work life balance?
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  Melinda Lee: So if you're having any of those of you your
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  relationships are suffering, your health? And I you know,
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  what's interesting about health is I think a lot of us have been
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  very accustomed to actually suppressing some of our health,
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  health signs and symptoms and signals, which you know, if
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  you're one of those, like really dig deep like is my house
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  suffering? Yeah.
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  Dana Zellers: And again, it's one of those things where if we
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  can preempt some of those things, and not wait until our
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  health is hospitalizing us or something dramatic, it's like
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  all of those things, if I can start taking those steps now to
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  start taking care of myself, not only am I going to feel better,
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  and I'm going to be happier, but actually going to be more
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  successful in the work stuff. All it's taking me away from it,
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  we don't realize that that more and more and more is actually
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  getting less effective. And it's taking away from from our
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  personal well being.
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  Melinda Lee: Right, yeah. Because like you said in the
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  past, and I instill present, it feels like okay, the more we do,
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  the more successful we're going to be. And you're here to say
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  no, that's not true.
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  Dana Zellers: That is not true. We really have to kind of flip
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  that, that reframe. And it's so hard for us, because sometimes
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  it's other people asking us to do more and more. But
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  oftentimes, it's things that we want to do, or we feel like what
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  benefits in some way. And one of the key pieces, the first step
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  that I work with on all my clients is really getting
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  clarity of focus. So what is important to you, truly, when
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  you step back, all these things that you're just reacting to and
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  responding to during a day, are those taking you to where you
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  want to go. Right. And so as soon as we start getting that
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  clarity, suddenly our schedule opens up. And for
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  Melinda Lee: people, though, I mean, is it hard like to
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  actually say, Hey, this is what is really important, are you do
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  you find it easy for people,
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  Unknown: what I find is, is that truly taking the time. And so
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  going through, I take people through exercises, we do some
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  values, we do some visioning, we do some reflection, all of those
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  things, looking at those gaps, the more people go through that
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  process and take the time to really reflect on it. It's like
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  a light bulb goes off, like, okay, when I look at how I'm
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  spending my time, energy, not driving towards these things
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  that I say are the most important to me, right?
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  Melinda Lee: Because it feels like they all are important. And
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  it feels like if I eliminate them, I'm being lazy. Or I can I
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  can see myself if I'm going through this exercise, oh my
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  gosh, I'm gonna live by eliminate that I'm being lazy,
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  or if I eliminate this, it's gonna take me too long to get to
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  my goal. Yeah.
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  Dana Zellers: But the challenge is, is when we do that, I mean,
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  I was totally that person who was like the last person in the
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  office, I was working late on projects, I was doing all of
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  that. And the problem with that is, is that we're not effective
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  with our time when we're doing that. So if we can just choose
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  the key things like we talked about the Pareto Principle, so
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  that the 8020 rule that typically if 20% of what you're
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  doing is leading to 80% of the results, then you want to focus
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  on just that 20%. And the rest of the 80% of the things that
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  you're doing actually might be benefiting you some, but not in
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  enough ratio of of the amount of time that you're spending on it.
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  Wow. And so if we're focusing on those few things that are moving
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  the needle most and getting us where we want to go, and again,
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  a lot of people come to me individually, so they're like,
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  Okay, well personally, this is what I want to do, but what
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  about my company, like they want me to be doing all of these
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  things, but I think that same theory translates to your
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  professional life. So you're looking at what is really
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  important to your company. Look at what's really important to
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  your boss and your team. So how did what you're doing fit into
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  that? And what are the pieces that truly are going to give you
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  the most bang for the buck? Right? As opposed to walking
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  into your week and just reacting to emails and things like that,
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  which is what we normally do,
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  Melinda Lee: which is not what we normally do. So taking the
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  time to reflect and say, Get really crystal clear about what
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  is important to you, what is important to the company? Yeah,
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  yeah. If they really value you and Bill value, the quality of
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  what we're trying to do and the results, then they will I mean,
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  do you have? Do you see people communicating that and having
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  challenges around communicating that and with? Yeah,
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  Dana Zellers: yeah, yeah, I think there are kind of three
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  pieces to the work that I do with my clients. So one is that
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  first piece, it's that focus, it's that clarity, what is
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  really important to me, what am I paying attention to? One is
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  kind of in the productivity area. So we want to be more
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  efficient with our time, we want to be not only doing the right
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  things, but we want to be doing them in the right way. The third
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  piece is relationships. So when we go about our day, if we're
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  not effective in the way that we're communicating to the
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  people around us, if we are walking in and sort of being
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  like, oh, you know, that person is asking me for this again, you
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  know, sort of those things. But once we start to really focus on
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  relationships, and give people the benefit of the doubt, and
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  start to get really curious as to what they're looking for, we
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  can start to open up a relationship where we're also
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  able to really, honestly communicate what it is that
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  we're looking to do, like, how do we all figure this out, as
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  opposed to me over in this corner by myself, banging my
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  head against the wall and trying to do these things by opening up
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  those relationships, that's really the only way you're going
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  to continue to be successful. That's
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  Melinda Lee: interesting, because I work with some leaders
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  before and they the perception is like I'm thinking about some
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  leaders, and they have clients within the organization. And
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  some of these clients have a good reputation, do you if you
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  do things for them, it can really build you up. But then a
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  lot of the things some of the things that they asked you to do
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  may not be directly aligned to your own skill development, or
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  what you'd like you said the clarity, the focus, like how
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  would one address that or handle that? Yeah,
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  Dana Zellers: no, it's really interesting. I do think, you
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  know, we need to be cognizant about what relationships do for
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  us. So, and again, this isn't like an in a yucky, like, I'm
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  gonna, you know, I'm going to focus on this person, because
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  they can do something for me, it's in a real estate of sort of
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  sort of giving and sharing those things. And I think the key with
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  those instances is evaluating. Okay, so how does this fit into?
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  What's the most important for me to do? And what is the reason
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  why be doing those things, sometimes relationship building
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  is enough for it to become important to you. You're like,
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  Okay, this isn't my This isn't in my wheelhouse. This isn't my
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  skill set. Like, I'm not, I'm not jazzed about this. But this
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  is a piece that's going to get anywhere I want to go. Sometimes
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  it's not. And so again, we need to evaluate those things and
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  say, okay, based on this relationship, you know, this is
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  one of the pieces that just isn't a great fit for me. And
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  the more you can open that dialogue, I think the problem
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  that most people have is that they receive information. And
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  that's the end of the communication. Whereas if you
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  start having a conversation, and you ask questions about, you
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  know, you know, why is this important to you? What is the
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  scope of this? You know, who are all the other players? Is there
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  somebody who might be a better fit for this, all of these
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  things, you can have a conversation where, you know,
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  it's not they tell me the information, and I do it, or I
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  say, No, it's how do we open it up and figure out the best
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  solution, that's really going to be a win win for everybody?
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  Melinda Lee: Yeah, yeah. And it's hard because especially if
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  you're just like you're walking in unprepared to, and then you
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  go in, especially if it's a client or like an authority
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  figure, you're just going in, and then you have nothing else
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  to say you just taking and you're like, okay, here, I've
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  just accepted this task that I don't want to do, or project. So
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  being prepared first with the right questions.
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  Dana Zellers: And particularly, when you're dealing, you know, a
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  lot of people that I'm talking to, you are dealing with their
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  managers, and it's, it's really making sure that you're having a
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  real open regular conversation with them. So whether it's a
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  client, or some of those people, it's like, with your manager,
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  they're gonna be a little more concerned about here are all the
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  things on my plate, here are all of the pieces that I understand
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  are important, you know, based on those, you know, can we all
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  get on the same page as to which are the most important and what
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  we do with the things that that are beyond the scope of what can
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  be done in this week or whatever. And so again, having
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  that be really an open conversation where you're
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  sharing that and you're all kind of deciding what the best focus
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  is together, as opposed to it just being a one way street?
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  Right? Obviously, if it's more a client relationship, we want,
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  you know, to make sure that that work received well that all of
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  these things are delivered. And there's a way to do that. So
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  that again, you're understanding the scope of what a win for all
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  of us is in the reality of everybody's bandwidth and
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  circumstances. You No,
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  Melinda Lee: I love this. I mean, I was just watching a real
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  yesterday, this is more about entrepreneurship. But it's the
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  same concept about if you want to be a millionaire, I think
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  people will tend to do a lot. Yeah. But if you want to be a
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  millionaire, you narrow in your focus, you get really, really
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  good at that one thing. Yeah. And then that's how you make
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  your millions. And then and then you take that money, and then
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  you add to it, you expand to it, but it's a similar concept that
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  what you teach? Yeah,
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  Dana Zellers: absolutely. And so again, if we do everything, sort
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  of, you know, a little bit, then again, you know, there is a
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  benefit to being a generalist and doing you know, more things,
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  but again, within those making sure that I can really
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  accelerate this. I mean, I think that, you know, when we decide
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  all of the things that we want to do with our time, it's like,
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  okay, why is this important to me during this time? Why is this
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  important in my job? And so then we decide how much time is that
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  worth to me to do that, and so in making those decisions,
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  again, it's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be great at these few
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  things that I'm doing, I'm not going to be one of those people
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  who says, I will make that deadline and misses it, I'm not
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  going to be one of those people who doesn't have time to prove
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  my work and go through all of those things. It's like all
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  those little things that if we get really scattered, the great
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  impression we're trying to make is just lost. And so if we focus
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  on a few things, and really make sure that we're leading
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  ourselves enough time, like knowing that emergencies are
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  going to happen, knowing that things are going to come up,
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  bake that into the plan, so that we're saying yes to fewer
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  things, which unfortunately, does mean that we're saying no
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  to other
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  Melinda Lee: things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love that. And can you
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  share an example of one of your clients like, one of your best
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  clients and what happened?
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  Dana Zellers: Yeah, so I had an amazing client comes to mind,
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  who was just so eager, all of these things, was an independent
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  contributor, and really wanted to move into a managing
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  leadership role was was ready for this, this was happening.
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  And there were two challenges that they were really facing
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  when we came together. One is too much work. So all of these
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  things would come in, things would come up as an emergency,
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  they were a go to guy for some senior leadership to figure
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  things out. And so part of that was that conversation of how do
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  we give ourselves enough time to be successful with the things
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  that we want to do? So we definitely did work in that
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  area. But the other piece that was a huge piece of this was,
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  they were in data science. And so they were very, like, I ran
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  the numbers, this is what we should do, it's very clear. And
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  they would share that information with other people.
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  And they wouldn't do what they said, Okay, we're just getting
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  so frustrated, right? And so we really worked on those
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  relationships. So we turned it around as to you're not just
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  bringing information to them that they go off into a black
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  box, it's a conversation. So how do we open up that conversation
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  to really understand what they're trying to do, what the
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  information is, how you can be helpful and how we can come up
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  with a solution that's going to get us there. And it ended up
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  really just transforming their relationship, they were able to
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  really understand kind of the nuance of how the data fit into
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  that, and so much that there were pieces that they didn't
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  know about it. And once they got that information, they were able
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  to share more information on their side. And again, it really
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  created a team where they were able to be successful. And their
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  manager saw this and saw this transformation transformation
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  and move them into a more senior role.
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  Melinda Lee: I love that. I mean, I especially love that I
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  keep on saying that. But I really the reason why is because
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  it's like because I hear you saying that, okay, this is a
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  person independent contribute to our all of our, you know, really
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  high top performers out there who are independent
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  contributors, you already got a lot going on, you're doing so
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  much, so much being I can already help you data can help
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  you which isn't productive with all the things that you're
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  doing. But again, don't remember that there's a relationship
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  piece around if you're really going to be a top leader, a
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  leader of a manager, a team, the relationships are where it's at.
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  And it's about communication.
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  Dana Zellers: The relationships are absolutely where it's at. I
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  mean, as as successful as we can all be on our tasks, what the
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  perception of you is so important. More important, and
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  so if people again, see you in a corner, working on your stuff
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  and doing a good job, yeah, be fine. You may you may move ahead
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  to a degree, but you're without developing those relationships
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  without being able to share your wins with people in the right
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  way. No one's ever going to see you as that next leader to step
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  into that role.
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  Melinda Lee: Totally. That was me. I mean, that's why people
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  got promoted before me. So you're singing my Yeah, song.
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  Yeah,
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  Dana Zellers: I mean, we all do feel like the work that we're
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  doing speaks for itself. Right.
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  Melinda Lee: And unfortunately, it doesn't, is it that's a Yeah,
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  that's what we think. And it doesn't. It doesn't it's most
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  also communicating that and telling them experiences the
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  lesson learned and stepping up to do that. Exactly, exactly.
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  it. Oh my gosh, that's so great. And so what are some of the
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  things that? How do people get a hold of you? Like, what are some
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  of the things that you're doing for clients?
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  Dana Zellers: Yeah, um, well, one of the first things I give
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  to my clients is what I like to call the better week blueprint.
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  This is a template that I would offer to anybody who's
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  available. It's at Dana zellers.com/better week. And
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  what this is, is it's really a week planning system to be
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  intentional about how we're spending our time and this week,
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  and as we talked about that reflection piece, so looking
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  back and making sure that I'm learning from all of those
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  experiences, and moving forward. Again, it's the first tool that
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  I give most of my clients. So I love to offer it so that anybody
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  can really appreciate it. And again, I do work with a lot of
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  clients, one on one. And so if anybody is interested in talking
• 15:48
  about that further, I would love to
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  Melinda Lee: have a chat. I love that. And so what is such a
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  valuable tool? I mean, I could see how that would really help
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  me, but then I'd also see how it can need your help to support me
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  through that.
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  Dana Zellers: Yeah, again, it's one of those things, I think the
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  process is really iterative. I think having that focus and
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  knowing what's important to you is such a key piece, but then
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  making sure that you're being intentional about creating that
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  in your day, your week, your month, your year. Having those
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  those two pieces married together is so important.
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  Melinda Lee: And I can especially see how people could
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  fall back into old patterns being comfortable, especially if
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  that's something you already know how to do, you're me and
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  you're just, we
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  Dana Zellers: are not creatures who like change. Even if the
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  situation that we're in isn't getting us where we want to go
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  getting out of that is so important. And I think having a
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  partner can be a huge step. We can do a lot on our own, but we
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  can get further faster in someplace different than we even
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  envisioned for ourselves with help of somebody
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  Melinda Lee: else, especially on the other side, especially when
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  there's change. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Awesome. And any last like
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  leadership tips that you want to share with the audience? Yeah,
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  Dana Zellers: I would say the overall perspective that I have
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  is we do want to invest a little time to saving ourselves so much
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  time in the future. So whether that's with somebody else, or on
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  your own, really thinking about what's important, really
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  planning people don't like planning, they hate it when I
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  say plan, but really taking a little time and thinking about
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  like, Okay, if this is what a change that I want in my life,
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  what do we need to do to get there? And how do I invest some
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  time to start making that change? Right,
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  Melinda Lee: right. Right. And the support to help us?
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  Dana Zellers: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. There is support all
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  around us. So take advantage. Um, why wouldn't we?
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  Melinda Lee: Right? Oh, I love it. Thank you, Dana. That was
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  powerful. I learned so much. And I trust that the audience has
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  also taken away. Lots of nuggets, lots of great advice
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  and tip. So reach out to Dana she is your support to take you
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  to the next level to move up in your career and your
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  professional and overall life. So thanks again, Dana, for being
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  here so much for having me. This was so fun. Until next time.
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  Take care