Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / CROWD WORK PACK_ STOCKHOLM_ SWEDEN

Transcript

CROWD WORK PACK_ STOCKHOLM_ SWEDEN · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What you do for money?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Anything for money.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: I know you feel like that was a very smart
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: and feisty answer, but it sounds like you're selling that ass.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: We're going.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: To London, and from there we're going to a different country.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: What do you say at the end when you buzz, fam? No,
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: you in the little black hat. You have forgotten?
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Listen, motherfucker, who is your girl? God damn, she's just
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: taking your memories? Where are we? What year is it?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: That's some good so you can't even remember who you are.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: What do you say at the end?
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Fuck?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: You say fuck? Some people say shit, like shit. What
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: about you fam? What do you say right there? Yeah, you,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Dwyane Wade face ass nigga. What do you say? Shit?
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Do you hold it or do you just say shit?
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: You be like shit. What's your name?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Your name is Mom? What'd you say?
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Moms?
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Like, where your moms at? That's your first name? Your
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: name is Moms? Spell it. That ain't Moms. That's crazy.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: What your daddy say when your mama want to name
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: you that? He got a beautiful baby boy. What we
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: going to name him? Let's name him Moms.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: Hey, bitch.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I was a part of this process. You don't remember?
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I was right there in your ear. Fuck.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Happy Mother's Day, man. Moms is a crazy name. His
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: girl's a motherfucker. All right, you can clap at that one.
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: That motherfucker's pretty good.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: See what happens when you're fun? That was a good interaction,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: you dickhead. Please, please, please.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Make fun of moms, leave dads alone, please. Please leave
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: dads alone. How you get a job like this?
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Like you got to show them.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: They have an audition process, you guys got to come
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: in and do Tai Chi in the lobby. Talk to
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: me serious, how you get your job? You're in special
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: forces for this country? Why are you guys clapping? We
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: don't even know what the fuck he did. Actual special forces,
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: like secret missions and shit? I know you did a
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: good job, because y'all ain't never had no conflict. Y'all
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: ain't had a fight since World War II.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: This bitch, if I live here, I'd be in the army.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, what we about to do today? We're
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: gonna protect the theater.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: He sleep? Shake him or something. What's wrong with you?
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Wake your crack-headed ass up, what? What you doing, texting? Okay,
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: he's in special forces. Good and good and good and good. Security,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: keep an eye on that motherfucker, you hear me? Don't
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: tell nobody, just keep an eye on him. All right,
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: you good? No, just keep it on, man. We ain't
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: gonna do that shit.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, keep it on. And then if you don't got
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: a shot, just aim at the lines.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: On the wall.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Because that look dumb as fuck. Who you think you are,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: the Wizard of Oz?
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Make him put that goddamn microphone. Now, just look at
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: the wall now. I ain't talking about it. That's gonna
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: be your shot until we got a shot.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: All right, now, we got to fuck with somebody. Let's
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: start right... Well, he looked away.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Goddamn, sir. I was like, you know, okay, hold on.
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: When I say look away, you just glance. You don't
• 5:13
  Speaker 6: gotta look away the whole time. Sir, I've already registered it.
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: I won't get you.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I see you. He was like. You're good, bruv. You
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: thought I was gonna roast you, isn't it?
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Let's go with, let's go with right here in the front,
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: the beautiful couple. They both looked at me. I want
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: to talk to them right there. Just can you back
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: out a little bit? You don't got to be all
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: in this goddamn. Jesus Christ, I saw his brain. How
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: y'all doing? You guys are a couple, right? You got
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: body language with two lovers. How long y'all been fucking?
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Three years?
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: You look a little young to have three years with
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: your woman already. How old are you?
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Twenty what?
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: No, that's T-H, three. No, I'm free.
• 6:11
  Speaker 6: You're three, 23. You guys made it, at least say
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: it the way you wrote it. I'm 23, no. Three, goddammit, T-H-R-E-E.
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: And what's your name? Justin, nice to meet you.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: And who's this?
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: You can slow down, man, goddammit. She pranks her ass.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: You said your name was Johanville?
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Johanna?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Who was that, the slow, why y'all keep hitting him?
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: He gonna fuck y'all up one day. Yeah, I heard you,
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: it's Johanna, goddammit. You ain't slick trying to make it
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: sound special.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Johanna! Your name Johanna, goddammit. Hey, Johanna. Where to start
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: with it, Jay? Y'all?
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: You got on wooden shoes? Talk like the people on
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: that game. And so, is that a jacket or a baby?
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Just a jacket. Okay, baby. All right, all right. So
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: how did you meet your girl, man? Tell me your
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: origin story. You were at a rave? What? So you
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: were just like.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: She was like.
• 7:39
  Speaker 7: Hi!
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I'm your high-level.
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: Man!
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: I'm Justin. You wanna fuck? I do! How did you
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: talk to her? Like, how did you get her to, like,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: be interested back? So we had already met at school,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: you know? Oh, you knew her already? Yeah, yeah, kind of.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: You knew her, like, you saw her.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: We were acquainted.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: You were acquainted.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: What school was this? Gymnasium?
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: That said gymnasium. I don't give a fuck what country
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: you from. That's not what the fuck I asked. What
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: school was it?
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Gymnasium.
• 8:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: Justin, pay attention, man. It's not gonna work if you're
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: dumb as a motherfucker. So you were in high school where?
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Gluteal.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Whatever, somebody else went there, woo!
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Gymnasium!
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: And so you saw her in gym class, running around.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: But you never said nothing. You already knew her, you talked,
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: you were friends. At the rave, you were like, oh.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Now she high. Her pupils dilated. What'd you say, Young Hamnam?
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I was sober.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: You were sober? When he told me you should, I
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: have never tried ecstasy. Oh, turn around, this shit might
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: be getting good. Let me get my little shit together.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Let me get my shit together. Let me get closer.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: What happened? So you were sober, he was like, you
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: need to try ecstasy. Yeah, you were already rolling. You
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: were like, yeah, he was like, fuck it.
• 9:43
  Speaker 6: I'll roll the roll.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: So did she do it because you told her to
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: do it?
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Like, why?
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: You just took drugs randomly from a kid in gym class?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: You're like, fuck it.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Fuck!
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: Fuck!
• 10:06
  Speaker 6: So you took ecstasy together. And then that's the love drug.
• 10:12
  Speaker 6: So y'all were just.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Sitting in the back of the rave blowing in each
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: other's faces and shit.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Oh you just got too high why you give her
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: the whole thing bro you supposed to give her a
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: little piece she said she lost her mind okay so
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: you sobered up and he was like I'm sorry I
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: gave you so much I apologize you had an amazing
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: time on everything considered okay and so is that what
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: keeps you together is that the glue Every now and
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: then a little rave, little pills.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Just be honest. It's not the dick. I can
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: tell you right now. I'm looking right at him. It's not, Justin.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I'll be goddamn Draco Malfoy and this bitch fucking the
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: shit out of somebody.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, Potter. Potter. Harry Potter.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: No.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I can see it. No, you ain't got that pipe,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: young man. It's okay. Keep her high. Keep her high.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Did you just wink at me? Girl, you just threw
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: a little pussy up here, right?
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: Watch out.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: I got it. I got it.
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: No, no.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: It's in my pocket. Ain't nothing you can do now.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: It almost didn't fit with all the pussy I put
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: in there with these two. What's your name?
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: Selma.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Selma? Like Alabama?
• 11:39
  Speaker 7: No.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: The civil rights town?
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Selma Hayek.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Selma Hayek. Okay, I'll take that. And so what do
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: you do for money? You do a hairstylist?
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Well, what do you do?
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: What just happened to your brain right now? You're like,
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I'm on the special forces. What do you do for money?
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: You work in an office? And when you get there,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: When you get there every day, what does the building say?
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Anybody want to translate that? What's she say? You know.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: You be like, ooh. What's that mean? Say it where
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I understand.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: You. You work at a building that says, Fosse, Vasquez, Kinasquez.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: You about to get fired. You can't even say that shit.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: That's too much shit to fit on a check. Real estate. Yeah,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I knew he was rich. I can feel it. Give
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: me some goddamn money. Is that a bracelet full of pearls? Yeah,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: give me some money. You hella rich. Who you with?
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: This whole row?
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: Everybody do real estate? You too with the little beanie on? Yeah,
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: what about you? You with the eyebrows.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: You do? You, right there. What are you?
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: You look like a lot of things. What are you,
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Korean and Native American and white? It's not my first rodeo, bitch.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Shut up. It's like, oh my God, he's like a 23andMe.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Korean and Finnish. I was right. Now, how did your
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: parents meet?
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Shit.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: A blind date? Which one was blind? Your daddy didn't
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: know your mom was.
• 13:47
  Speaker 7: Korean, huh?
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: He'd be like, God damn. Where the bitch.
• 13:54
  Speaker 7: At?
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: She'd just start rubbing his shoulders. Ooh, I like that.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: And so you grew up here. Where you growing? Switzerland.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: How many languages do you speak? Korean, Finnish. German, Swedish, English.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: And French? You don't speak Korean? You don't speak?
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Ooh.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Somebody told their moms. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Oh, shit.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: She's serious. Hey, you with the shoulder out. Calm down.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Because I didn't understand you. I don't know what you said.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: She was like.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: I gotta learn some more languages to understand if I'm
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: diffusing something or turning it up.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: What's your name?
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: I'd like to talk to you to get you distracted
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: off from the crackheads down there.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Talk to me. What's your name? Nice to meet you. Bitty, bitty, bomb, bomb.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Are you Mexican? What, Selena? No, it's a question.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: Selena is a famous Mexican singer. You need to Google
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: your name. What you been drinking?
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, a whole bottle of wine?
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: I got it.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: I can hear it. You need to Google everything else.
• 15:38
  Speaker 7: Hmm?
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Level four, that's what I do.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I'm fucking.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: Goddamn special forces.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: It's a secret. I can't say what I did. I
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: worked to end my 60.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: What'd you do for money?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Anything for money.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: I know you feel like that was a very smart
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: and feisty answer.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: But it sound like you're selling that ass. Anything. Oh, oh, oh.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: She was like, I really do sell. How much going
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: for out here? How many crowns?
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: You're in the gray zone.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: I came here.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: I appreciate that, but don't you really sound like a,
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: I'm just playing. All this gray's on you sound actually legitimate.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like, wait a minute, I need it black and white,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: I can't do gray.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:53
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: You can sell, but I can't buy it?
• 16:59
  Speaker 6: How the fuck I'm gonna buy it, I can't, if
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: it ain't, wait a minute.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: This sound like a broken store. Shoes, shoes, shoes. $ 20,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: you got to sell. Damn, $ 20 is usually $ 3, 000 shoes.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: At $ 20 right now. I can't buy it, I can't.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: It's illegal to buy it. How do you get paid?
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: You got to find the money?
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: PayPal.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: PayPal, oh, you sell to, okay. PayPal, please, please, PayPal.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: PayPal.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: This is different than North Carolina, we a long way
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: from home. They selling through the internet in the gray area.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: All right, if you see a clap two times. That's
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: a boy.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: He's like, if I lay it this way, it's a
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: booty hole.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Why you work here? Oh, okay, you're just getting a
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: free show, huh? Give me $ 10. He's like, no, fuck that.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: All right, let's see. We're not going to them, trading
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: them as the crackheads. Okay, but you win as soon
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: as you heard it. He's like, oh, he's going to
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: get them.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they want too much attention. I want to talk
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: to the brother with the beautiful smile right there.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: There he is. Yeah, I like how your gums show
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: a little bit. Don't cover that. Be proud of your face.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: You're a beautiful black person. I'll be proud of that.
• 18:43
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: What's your name, fam?
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Dave?
• 18:48
  Speaker 8: Really?
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: No?
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Are you Somali? Because your forehead looks Somali. What you mean?
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Everybody says Somali. And what's your destination in my taxi?
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: You look Somali and then a motherfucker. Look at me.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Look at me. I am the captain now. And so
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: what are you? Oh, okay, okay. And so your name
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: is Dave? Maybe we should get your middle name. What's
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: your mom's call you? Your mom's like, come here, David. Oh,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: my God. I just thought. it would be more cultural.
• 19:53
  Speaker 9: What is it? We can't buy it. They can sell it,
• 20:00
  Speaker 9: but you can't buy it. You can't buy it.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: They got to go sell some right now. I gave
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: them a little attention. They got a hot sale. Everybody's like, oh.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: Y'all heard it? Too much wine. Yeah, for sure. I
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: see it on you. It sounds good. Y'all beautiful. Y'all
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: take y'all time.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: Go ahead.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I ain't going to draw no attention to you. Everybody
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: look at him. She kicked over somebody's shit. Come on, baby. No,
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: we heard it.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: What, she kicked over your new drink you just got?
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: What was it, a beer? Yeah. Oh, okay. You might
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: as well finish it, man.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: You got to. She's finished. So you got to finish. Now, Dave,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: how long have you been working for Uber? You don't
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: drive Uber? You're bullshit. You look like every driver that.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: We've gotten on the goddamn app since I've been in
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: your country.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: And what do you do for money? Why are you
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: looking up like you can't find your job? Just take
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: your time. What do you do? Okay.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Outside?
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Dave, do you watch my videos?
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: I'm a little bit intelligent, just a little bit.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: That's ridiculous. You know when you fly and you hear ba-ba-ba-ba,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: that's me.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: I'm the one ba-ba-ba-ba.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: You can hear my gums. Outstanding. Who you with? Introduce
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: me to your friends. That's the homie right there. Hell yeah.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: What's your name, bro?
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Your name is Shadow Man? Like your browser history?
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: His name is Shadowban.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: That's what you said, ain't it? Shadowban? Shalban. Is that
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: a common name here? Did you just nut, Dave? He
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: was like, no! Fuck! When you bust your gum, Sean.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Oh. Oh.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: And your girl loves it. He's my gummy bear. She
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: rub her hair across your gums. Oh. Oh. So, Shalvin,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: what do you do for money, man? A ramp agent.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: What company do you work for, Shalvin?
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: And what about you, Dave? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: motherfucker said sauce right after.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: I work at SAS. Sauce. God damn it. Dave, how much,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: how far in school did you go?
• 23:18
  Speaker 7: I finished high school and gymnasium.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: I'll accept that addition to the show. That was clever.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I didn't expect that.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: You said like nine dumb things and then all of
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: a sudden you got clever on the end. Ma'am, you
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: were gone a long time. I was timing you in
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: my head. You took your shit in my show.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Hey, you shit it at my show. You was gone
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: about eight and a half minutes. I feel it. You
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: was gone a while. She shit it at my show, bro.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: She shit it at my goddamn show. She was gone
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: a minute. Put your hand on her stomach. See if
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: she shit it. Does she feel empty? When you push
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: her stomach, do we push back or does it just
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: go in? Ain't no doo-doo in there now, huh? It's
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: all in there. Where you from? You ain't from here.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: What part?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, Lord.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: What you doing here? She's from here? Who the fuck
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: is that? Wow.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: So....
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: We work together sometimes? What she's selling, are you allowed
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: to buy it? You don't care, I'll send you. What
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: the fuck? I asked where the Americans was and you
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: didn't say shit? That what you said? What'd you say
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: when I said it?
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Woo!
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, little red shirt. Woo!
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: So you from the 305, goddamn Dade County, Carroll City, huh?
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: How young are you? 42, you look good for 42. Hey, Trent,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: don't show her no more. Look, she fucking him, I
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: swear to God. That's fucking him energy.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I see you went to Turkey before you came here.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: You got a little.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: 42 with that goddamn hairline, nigga.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: He was shit.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: Who did that to your head? I'm going to get
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: that same shit because these parts get light, nigga. I'm
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: tired of painting this shit off.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Goddamn. You got all your teeth, too.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Smile.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Dave like... Soft. And so you married a woman from here?
• 25:58
  Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: What'd you say? Oh, thank you for your service, man.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: What you did was a secret as well, or we
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: could talk about it?
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Outstanding.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: Air traffic control for the Air Force then. Trent was
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: in the Air Force too. He used to fix the engines.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: He used to walk up and headbutt them.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: They used to turn on. He got a Somalian head too, Dave,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: if you look at it. Everywhere we go, Somalis be like, blah, blah, blah.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, no, no. What's your country again?
• 26:32
  Speaker 10: Maybe that's what you are. Like Baruni Baruni, the comedian.
• 26:37
  Speaker 10: Y'all got the same head, Trayton, I'm telling you. That's
• 26:41
  Speaker 10: your people, man. Look how your heart's just connected in
• 26:45
  Speaker 10: the air.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: He said, all right.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: My head is your head. We have the same head. Dave,
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: you look like you make the fuck out of cookie, man.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Do you bake, Dave? Do you know how to.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Bake?
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: I cook, but I don't get baked. What's your thing?
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: What do you cook? Let's say it's a potluck at work.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: What do you bring to shut it down?
• 27:10
  Speaker 7: Do you.
• 27:12
  Speaker 10: Know?
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: No, but I want you to tell me about it anyway.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I already know. I'm not going to know. What the fuck?
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Huh?
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the goddamn Jamaican banana.
• 27:19
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I make them like fries.
• 27:21
  Speaker 10: Yeah?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Delicious.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: So you make papas fritas?
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: They got it from Africa, man. Yeah, that's actually good.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: What sauce do you put with that? I'm here. Take
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: your time. Take your time, Dave. You're struggling. It's not
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: on the ceiling. I'll tell you that right now. Just
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: take a moment. Let your brain catch up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: You don't have to keep defining everything. I've heard of
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: some stuff. You put a little salt on there? A
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: little salt, babe?
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: That shut it down, huh? Hell yeah, shadow ban. Did
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: he bring that to work? Yeah, you said that. I
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: was just fucking with him. Calm down, Dave. You're getting hard, Dave.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Calm down. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: enjoying myself. I didn't know how any of this shit
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: was going to connect. This is fun. Trent, let's go
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: upstairs and see what's up there. Just pull up. They
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: thought they weren't going to get talked to, but I
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: don't give a fuck. Turn the lights on up top, too.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I want to see them, too. She out of focus
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and fine. God damn. How you fine and blurry? This
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: is a bad bitch. So stay right there until she's
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: in focus. God damn.
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: God damn! What's your name? Yasmine?
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Ooh, wee! It's two of them. Hey, man, what the
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: fuck going on? We on the screen, bitch.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: What's up, man?
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: How you doing? Fuck Yasmin. Look at me. Look at me.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: Yasmin, what do you do for money? How do you
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: get paid? You work in an office? They just hand
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: you money, huh? God damn. What kind of office you
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: work at?
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: The state? Is she full speed? You're the prettiest little
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: dumbass girl out there. I work at the office. What
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: is your title? What do you do?
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: If I went to your office, I'd be like, tell
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: me where this person's occupation is.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: What is your occupation? Huh? Thank you very much.
• 30:18
  Speaker 7: Appreciate that.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: That's cool. You came back a little more sober. Now
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: we're helping each other. You hit an apple on your
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: ass a minute ago. You were in the bathroom, I'm like, okay.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: I'm back, I'm back, I'm back.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: She's a clerk, Nate, continue with the show. Okay, that's
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: your freak, damn, it's two of them, for real. What
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: are you, are you Burundi too? They said, we're not related. Okay,
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: are you guys Eritreans?
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: What are y'all? Somali, outstanding, outstanding.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: And then, is there a whole Somali section?
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you and the one that's clapping, hold on, you.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Are you Somali too, you? Sit down, baby, you got this. Okay,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: her too then, huh? This your twin? Y'all related, you two?
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Y'all cousins? Say Blaine, who older? How old are you?
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: You know, you can speak up. Damn.
• 31:40
  Speaker 8: What?
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: What? You look like a kid. You're 37 for real?
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: How old are you, Yasmin? Goddamn. What about you? Talking
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: about brown.
• 32:01
  Speaker 7: Damn.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: What you eat?
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Like, what....
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Do you drink alcohol? How are you that? Okay, Keela.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: What are you pointing at? Keela, come back. Come back.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: We've been trying to figure out what kind of African
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Keela is for a long time.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: And now that I see her forehead next to y'all,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: that's my assistant. And so, I know. Is that a person?
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Wait. Okay.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up! When did she go down? As
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: soon as I showed about, she was like, shit, I.
• 32:46
  Speaker 8: Ain't up this motherfucker. Damn, you beautiful too! When you
• 32:57
  Speaker 8: were down there, you were putting on lip gloss? God damn.
• 33:01
  Speaker 8: Why's your mouth so goddamn shiny? You fucking that straw up.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, somebody like a lollipop.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: All right, let's go to the left. Zoom out some.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Let's see what else is up there. Oh, wait. She scared?
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: Nipsey Hussle up there. Hustle is my last. Hustle is
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: my last.
• 33:38
  Speaker 7: Outstanding.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: This is a whole section of Eritreans and Somalians and shit.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I like this.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, and then there's just a couple white people right
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: there back there with the little.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, move out the way, nigga. Move. There they are.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: How y'all doing? I like that.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Did you get those piercings at the same time or
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: is that two different trips?
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: You just went like this? I like this, she got
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: all her shiny shit on.
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: It makes me feel special when people dress up like that.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't even see him. I'm sorry, sir. I mean,
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: no disrespect. No, colorism is not okay. But I did
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: not see you. Shit, I'm sorry I did that. Okay,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: all right, okay, let's stop right there. Is that a
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: little person? Okay, thank you for showing your shoulders, brother.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: He was like, do you know the Munchkin Man? Stockholm,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I love y'all, man.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you.