Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Recognizing a Narcissist's Patterns

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Recognizing a Narcissist's Patterns · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So y'all narcissists have patterns.
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  If you did not know that, you know.
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  Now if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammond, a clinically
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  diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of the Narcissist Code. What is going on, beautiful
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  people. In today's episode, we're
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  talking about just that. Y'all narcissistic people and
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  their patterns. How When Slash If you decipher A
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  narcissist patterns, it can help.
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  It can help you heal and grow from this person.
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  It can help you learn how to deal with this person and what
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  not in certain situations. If you're trying to live with
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  this person, if you're trying to leave this person, if you're
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  trying to parent with this person or have a business with
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  this person after the breakup, you have to.
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  You have a watchful eye and follow the patterns.
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  It's like if narcissistic people.
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  If narcissists were like bulls or buffaloes or whatever, you
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  can follow their trail because they leave little narcissistic
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  like hoof prints in the ground and whatnot.
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  Y'all they do do. It's just part of y'all learn to
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  recognize a narcissist patterns. And no, no two narcissistic
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  people have the exact same patterns.
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  Their patterns are typically going to be uniquely specific to
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  their situation in their in their own general life, their
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  own lifestyle, how they, how they live their lives, how they
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  carry out their lives and whatnot.
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  So narcissistic people are typically going to do it like
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  that. They're going to have patterns
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  and whatnot that they, you know, they're going to have patterns
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  that they follow consistently. The y'all y'all probably have
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  heard this term before, but it says like, the greatest
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  predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
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  And this is very particularly true with narcissists and toxic
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  people. Y'all if they like.
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  And this is not just past relationships.
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  Yeah, you can look like you can look into the looking glass of a
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  narcissist's life and see how they treated their previous
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  partners to get A to get an idea of how they're going to treat
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  you. You know, if you get what a
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  narcissist. And this happens all the time
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  now. And this is not me being
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  judgmental because I know everybody's situation is
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  different. But if you end up with a
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  narcissistic person, right? And they have kids from a
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  previous, previous relationship and they're making the the life
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  of their previous partner difficult for no reason.
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  Like they intentionally are showing up late.
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  They're not letting them talk to the kids when they have them.
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  They're trying to control the other parents time they
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  intentionally don't go get the kids or refuse to drop them off
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  or singularly, sometimes it seems like they're trying to
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  kidnap the kids. If they're just making their
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  other parents life harder or if they just overall abandoned
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  their children and their responsibilities that they've
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  created, that can pretty much show you what's going to happen,
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  what could happen to you. It's like and I don't you have
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  to dig into your own mindset to to make you think that they're
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  going to treat you differently based on their words and not
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  their actions. Because if they have a pattern,
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  let's say they have. I've heard this before, they
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  have like 3 or 4 different wives, right?
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  They've been married three or four different times, right?
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  All in the divorce was they cheated on their partner.
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  Do you think you're going to get, Do you not?
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  Do you not think you're going to get cheated on because you what?
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  What are you telling yourself? Do you think they've learned
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  their lesson or do you think they're just trying?
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  They've maybe they've hold. They've perfected their craft.
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  They've either learned their lesson or perfected their craft.
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  You got to understand the like when you forgive somebody,
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  that's the thing right there. You know, If you when you
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  forgive somebody for stuff that they have done to somebody else,
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  you're opening yourself up to abuse.
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  You just are. When you forgive, when you
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  overlook what they've done in their past, you're opening
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  yourself up for it to happen to you.
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  Recognize what they have done in the past, not just in
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  relationships. I said job wise, money wise,
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  history wise, you know, just health wise, physical wise, you
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  know what I mean? Parenting wise, school wise,
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  education wise, like look into their past and it can help you
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  predict the future. Like and this is like even based
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  on your own current relationship dynamic with this person because
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  it doesn't have to be a an intimate partner.
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  This could be your parents, this could be your siblings, this
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  could be your boss. So whoever it is, whoever the
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  narcissist in your life is, this could help you differentiate
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  that. This could help you recognize
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  the patterns you know what have they, what have, how did they
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  handle when you bought something up to them?
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  Like when you try to criticize this person, or even even if
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  it's constructive criticism, when you tried to criticize or
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  get this person some constructive criticism, how did
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  it go? How did that work out for you
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  when you just offered this person some constructive
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  criticism? How did that work out for you?
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  How did that go? You know, how did that go for
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  you in that space right there? I'm asking like how in in in the
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  real life, in the real world, how did that go for you?
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  You know, if you if you gave them some constructive criticism
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  and they blew you off or they start talking junk to you or
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  they try to make they try to point the finger at you or they
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  get angry at you. If they've done that two or
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  three times, chances are they're going to do it a fourth or fifth
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  time. You see what I'm saying.
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  Learn to recognize what they have done, how they have
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  reacted, and they can help you anticipate their motions.
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  They can help you make decisions without their input.
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  Sometimes you see, like they're going to argue with me
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  regardless of what I do, so I might as well do what I want to
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  do. If you're damned if you, if you,
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  this is the thing right here about catch 20 twos, you're
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  damned. If you do, you're damned if you
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  don't. So choose the damned that is at
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  least somewhat beneficial to you and not as detrimental because
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  they're going to get you anyway. They're going to get you anyway.
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  So learn to recognize the pattern.
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  Because every single narcissist has patterns.
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  Sometimes you can put them on a dam.
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  Some some people get so good. Or read narcissist patterns like
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  every two weeks they rage out about something.
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  Every payday, Every time they get paid, they disappear.
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  Every time the baby gets sick, they vanish.
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  Every time I need some help, they disappear on me.
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  Every time a birthday is coming up, they rage out.
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  Every time the holidays are coming up, they get depressed
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  and take it out on everybody else.
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  You see what I'm saying? Learn to recognize the patterns
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  and they can help you prepare for the future.
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  If they've let. Like I say, if you've seen your
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  partner right now, if they left a, if they left a relationship
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  where you can tell that they were being abusive or they were
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  being neglectful like but the other person escaped me, how do
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  they treat the other person? Or your is your partner still
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  obsessed with their ex years later even though y'all been
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  together and make trying to build a life together?
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  Are they still obsessed with trying to hurt their ex, with
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  how their exes living their life, with how their exes or
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  whatever their exes, who they're, who they're dating,
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  where they're going, where they're traveling to, You know
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  what I'm saying? It gets into that space right
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  there where you got to decide. You see that you recognize it.
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  So what do you think they're going to do to you?
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  The possibility exists that they will do the same thing to you if
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  you break up. So you see how they doing, how
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  they did their exes. You see they have domestic
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  violence charges in the past several.
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  Be careful because guess what might happen to you.
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  I'm not. I'm not saying this is going to
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  happen to you, but guess what might happen to you.
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  There could be some DV in the future.
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  You see what I'm saying? Like, watch their patterns.
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  Y'all watch their patterns. How how did they handle good
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  news? How have how have they handled
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  good news before their own good news?
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  Well, Lee, they were ecstatic. They loved getting good news.
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  They loved getting that promotion.
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  They loved getting that car or whatever.
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  They loved getting getting that job opportunity.
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  They loved it. But you flip it backwards,
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  right? You flip it back.
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  How did they handle your good news?
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  Oh, they dismissed me. They got angry at me.
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  They didn't want to celebrate. They put me down.
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  They invalidated me. They diminished my
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  accomplishment. They try to minimize me.
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  OK, then you know the patterns. So why would you share good news
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  with this person? Or why would you share this good
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  news with them? First, celebrate with people.
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  People that are going to celebrate you tell people that
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  are going to cheer you on and clap for you, as opposed to the
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  person that's going to try to put your head in the dirt like a
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  ostrich and make it seem like you haven't done anything with
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  your life. Celebrate the with the people
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  who want to celebrate with you. Celebrate with those who want to
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  celebrate with you. That's why I would say to people
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  like celebrate with the people that want to celebrate with you,
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  because that helps you in the long run.
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  Y'all that helps you heal, that helps you grow, that helps you
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  move forward with a lot of different things, with a lot of
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  different positions that helps you out.
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  It really, really does. So I just tell people in these
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  situations you have, you have to get into this dynamic right now
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  with people and let them know like this is how it's going to
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  go. You had like did you know this
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  is how it's going to go? You by you being able to predict
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  a narcissist patterns based on their past actions, you can help
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  your kids. You know what I'm saying?
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  You can help other people who have to deal with your partner,
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  who have to deal with your mom, who have to deal with your dad.
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  If this is your if your parent is the narcissist, you can help
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  your siblings out. You see how how learning their
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  patterns can help you heal and help you grow.
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  You see how learning their patterns can empower you to be a
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  completely different person. You see how learning their
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  patterns is the strong. Oh my goodness.
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  Y'all you can. Yeah, you can be as strong as
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  you want to be. You can be as powerful as you
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  want to be, but you have to be you.
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  You know what I mean? You have to be you.
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  You're empowered to make the decisions necessary to take you,
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  to take your life to the next level.
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  You can, you absolutely can y'all empower yourself.
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  Because people in these situations, narcissistic people
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  in these situations, are going to take advantage of you.
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  Will you learn their patterns? They will.
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  You learn their powder. It can help you.
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  It it can help you, not necessarily strip them of all
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  their power, but it can help you strip them of a lot of their
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  power, that that they feel like they have over you or that you
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  feel like they have over you. Learn their patterns, pattern
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  and recognition. Y'all.
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  How do they handle stress? How do they handle happiness?
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  How do they handle adversity? How do they handle bad weather?
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  Yeah, it's patterns. How do they handle getting
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  broken up with? How do they handle when you came
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  home late? Y'all patterns.
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  And no, not only do narcissists have patterns, Y'all and having
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  patterns doesn't make you a narcissist.
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  I'm just saying, if you think you're if you're watching this
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  video, you think you're in a toxic relationship dealing with
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  a narcissistic person. Do you understand patterns?
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  You understand that you know the dynamic, you know the life, you
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  know the role. You know the patterns can help
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  you heal. The patterns can help you grow.
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  You are more powerful than you think you are.
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  And that's just me keeping hiding real with you.
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  That's me. Like I say, I keep it.
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  Y'all know, y'all come to my channel.
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  I keep hiding ready for with you.
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  Narcissists have patterns. It's like some of them are like
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  robots, like narcissistic y'all ABC we do.
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  Narcissistic robot. Rebooting.
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  Resetting. I have patterns too.
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  I'm ain't a narrative. You see what I'm saying.
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  Not all narcissists or robotic will behave their way, but a lot
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  do. Y'all learn to recognize the
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  patterns. Protect your peace.
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  Protect yourself. And it helps you heal and helps
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  you grow. You understand.
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  It helps you heal and it helps you grow.
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  It helps you empower yourself to be as strong as you possibly can
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  and stronger than anybody else. You know, stronger than before.
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  Like Lisa Sundy. Anyways, y'all thank you.
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  Tune into another episode Y'all go ahead and hit that like and
• 11:23
  subscribe button. Y'all because it helps reach the
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  algorithm. It helps us reach more people
• 11:28
  and the more people reach the more people can help heal and
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  help grow. Thank you so much.
• 11:32
  Stay tuned for more. Mental illness is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  Y'all. If you didn't know, we wrote a
• 11:39
  kids book called Remember, It's Not Your Fault.
• 11:42
  To help kids understand that they are not in control of
• 11:44
  whatever circumstances they were born into.
• 11:47
  Talk about boundaries, telling the truth, all of that stuff.
• 11:50
  Y'all. It's available on Amazon right
• 11:52
  now, or the link in my description of every single
• 11:54
  video or podcast that you listen to.
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  Thank you so much. Remember, it's not your fault.
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  Peace.