Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / Alexis Bellino Is Talking I Do Part 2's!
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's I Do Part two and it's Alexis
- 0:16Speaker 1: Billino here. You might know me from Real Housewives of
- 0:19Speaker 1: Orange Counties, and I am so excited.
- 0:22Speaker 2: To be here with my friend today.
- 0:25Speaker 1: Galina Sakowska from McBee Dynasty, and we are here to
- 0:29Speaker 1: talk all things love the second time around.
- 0:32Speaker 2: Galina, Hi good, I'm good.
- 0:36Speaker 1: It's fun to We've never been in this port platform
- 0:40Speaker 1: before together, so this is kind this is gonna be awesome.
- 0:43Speaker 3: Is actually will be awesome.
- 0:45Speaker 1: You followed me around a lot during all this wedding
- 0:47Speaker 1: celebration stuff, so we've we've had a lot of discussions
- 0:50Speaker 1: about all this. But for the viewers that don't know
- 0:54Speaker 1: You're and I, you know what television shows we've been
- 0:56Speaker 1: on in our past, let's break it down.
- 0:58Speaker 2: Just a little bit. Give them a little hiss about our.
- 1:01Speaker 1: Love life, so like, how have you been married? How
- 1:05Speaker 1: many children.
- 1:06Speaker 2: Do you have?
- 1:07Speaker 1: And then we're gonna have to get into the good
- 1:10Speaker 1: stuff about like what's happening today with your love life.
- 1:14Speaker 3: Let's do that.
- 1:15Speaker 4: So yeah, actually, yes, I have been married once for
- 1:19Speaker 4: ten years. I do have one absolutely extraordinary child. She
- 1:24Speaker 4: is just started her law school in University of Nebraska.
- 1:29Speaker 3: She is twenty three, believe it or not.
- 1:33Speaker 4: Yeah, a little wild sorry about me about my past life,
- 1:37Speaker 4: and you know, I'm more excited about the future.
- 1:39Speaker 1: Well, it's also when you say twenty three year old, like,
- 1:42Speaker 1: you don't even look old enough to have a twenty
- 1:43Speaker 1: three year old. So I'm like, anytime I meet my children,
- 1:46Speaker 1: I'm like, oh gosh, I can't believe I can say
- 1:48Speaker 1: I have someone in college.
- 1:49Speaker 3: I know, right, I feel.
- 1:51Speaker 1: Like I'm still in college, Galina.
- 1:53Speaker 3: We always in college, you know. It's also life was
- 1:57Speaker 3: like permanent college.
- 1:59Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, so my background as we know
- 2:04Speaker 1: is well, you know because you've been following me around though,
- 2:06Speaker 1: But I am walking down the aisle in a very
- 2:10Speaker 1: few days. I'm not going to say exactly how many
- 2:13Speaker 1: are you ready, Galina?
- 2:15Speaker 2: Do you have your gown? That's what I need to know.
- 2:16Speaker 3: Oh my god. Actually, I have quite a few conversations
- 2:21Speaker 3: with all of your friends.
- 2:21Speaker 4: We are planning it all like the most exciting time
- 2:25Speaker 4: of my year.
- 2:28Speaker 3: Just letting you know that.
- 2:30Speaker 1: That's awesome because there's a lot of surprises we have
- 2:33Speaker 1: for you guys in store. This is more of a
- 2:35Speaker 1: This wedding is more of a party than you know,
- 2:39Speaker 1: we're not doing the Donna like you know traditional, so
- 2:43Speaker 1: it's going to be a lot of fun around the
- 2:45Speaker 1: around every corner.
- 2:47Speaker 2: So I'm excited anyway. But it is, it is, it is.
- 2:50Speaker 1: I'm starting to get nervous now because it's not my
- 2:53Speaker 1: second time around, you know that, Galina.
- 2:54Speaker 2: Even though this is I Do Part two, for me,
- 2:57Speaker 2: this is I do part three. Okay, So I was married.
- 3:02Speaker 1: I know you know this, but I was married one
- 3:04Speaker 1: time before my Jim.
- 3:06Speaker 5: So.
- 3:06Speaker 2: I had my high school college.
- 3:08Speaker 1: Sweetheart that I married for a year at like twenty three,
- 3:12Speaker 1: got to twenty four. I could have probably gotten it
- 3:14Speaker 1: and old, but we did not. And then I met Jim.
- 3:17Speaker 1: So I was with the father of my children for
- 3:19Speaker 1: fourteen years and then lo and behold, I meet John,
- 3:24Speaker 1: who I was just breaking up with another fiance, and
- 3:29Speaker 1: three months later and strolls John. So it was the
- 3:32Speaker 1: timing on mine for my I do part two is
- 3:36Speaker 1: like really bizarre. And I fought it for a while
- 3:38Speaker 1: and then I was just like, you know what, when
- 3:40Speaker 1: you might when you find the guy or the guy
- 3:42Speaker 1: find you, I feel like it's more like they find you,
- 3:44Speaker 1: don't you. I feel like the guys find the girls
- 3:47Speaker 1: when it's like I don't know.
- 3:48Speaker 2: I didn't have to seek him out. It was like
- 3:49Speaker 2: he found me.
- 3:51Speaker 3: This is what you know.
- 3:53Speaker 4: Those are all the questions I have for you, because
- 3:56Speaker 4: like I literally was.
- 3:57Speaker 3: Married one time.
- 3:58Speaker 4: You know, I'm coming from completely different cultural background, and
- 4:02Speaker 4: I want to have all this knowledge and all this
- 4:05Speaker 4: experience because sometimes I just wonder.
- 4:08Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, I've been married only one time.
- 4:10Speaker 3: I don't have a ton of relationship.
- 4:12Speaker 4: I'm so looking forward to all of the ad vices.
- 4:16Speaker 4: I have a billion of questions for you because I
- 4:19Speaker 4: feel like I still have the chance.
- 4:21Speaker 3: Girl.
- 4:21Speaker 1: You cannot tell me people are not You cannot tell
- 4:24Speaker 1: me people are not asking you for your phone number
- 4:26Speaker 1: or asking you on dates when you're out my little
- 4:28Speaker 1: I call you. I tell all my friends, I call
- 4:30Speaker 1: you my Russian Missouri friend, because you know I've so
- 4:36Speaker 1: you know, I'm headed back to my farm in a
- 4:38Speaker 1: couple of weeks, and you're coming to see my little
- 4:41Speaker 1: podunk farm and I don't have time to stop my
- 4:44Speaker 1: your ranch or oh, I don't know if you guys
- 4:46Speaker 1: call it up.
- 4:46Speaker 2: I guess it is McBee farm.
- 4:48Speaker 1: But yours is glamorous Okay, you're coming to my neck
- 4:53Speaker 1: of the woods, and I think my family owned only
- 4:56Speaker 1: like four thousand acres, but we're in a town that's
- 4:58Speaker 1: like three hundred people, and we had most of the
- 5:01Speaker 1: land and it's been in our family for like two
- 5:03Speaker 1: hundred and seventy years.
- 5:05Speaker 2: I don't know, something like that.
- 5:06Speaker 1: So yeah, so you're gonna come see that, Glina, and
- 5:09Speaker 1: then the next one.
- 5:09Speaker 3: Going to and we're going to bring the whole new
- 5:12Speaker 3: flair to the farm.
- 5:15Speaker 2: Okay, can you bring one of your really cool tracks?
- 5:17Speaker 2: We need that.
- 5:18Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I got you covered. I'll give you
- 5:24Speaker 3: the best truck available.
- 5:25Speaker 2: Okay, thanks, I want to drive around in one of
- 5:27Speaker 2: those I do.
- 5:30Speaker 3: Oh, I'm going to make you. Yeah, we're gonna have
- 5:33Speaker 3: a lot of fun on the farm.
- 5:35Speaker 1: Okay, So what would be what would be one of
- 5:37Speaker 1: your questions for that? You said you have so many then,
- 5:40Speaker 1: because I I don't feel like.
- 5:42Speaker 2: I have all the knowledge, but I am getting married.
- 5:44Speaker 6: So well, hey, you know, first of all, like tell
- 5:49Speaker 6: me like all about your engagements to John, Like how
- 5:52Speaker 6: did you handle you know, this is the best advice
- 5:56Speaker 6: you can give me.
- 5:57Speaker 4: Your entire relationship will us in a public eye not
- 6:01Speaker 4: only that it was extremely difficult. You know, you got
- 6:04Speaker 4: a lot of hate. How did you handle, like, how
- 6:06Speaker 4: did you deal.
- 6:07Speaker 3: With all of that? Well?
- 6:09Speaker 2: I cried a lot. I hibernated a lot during that time.
- 6:12Speaker 1: But the beauty and all of that was you know,
- 6:14Speaker 1: And the funny part about that is John and I
- 6:17Speaker 1: both knew like the reason we felt the attraction right away.
- 6:21Speaker 1: We knew, oh gosh, we're in trouble. But we really
- 6:23Speaker 1: did just stay on the phone until two o'clock in
- 6:25Speaker 1: the morning. It was plutonic. It was no, no, no, no.
- 6:29Speaker 1: You know, we were like, no, we're not going to
- 6:30Speaker 1: go there. We're going to just be friends. And we
- 6:33Speaker 1: thought we could handle it. But you know, two to
- 6:36Speaker 1: three weeks into it or a month, we was like
- 6:38Speaker 1: we knew there was really no no getting.
- 6:40Speaker 3: Out of it.
- 6:41Speaker 1: But then, you know, we tried to keep it quiet
- 6:44Speaker 1: and we snuck around for a little bit, and knowing
- 6:47Speaker 1: that America would scrutinize us and hate us well like
- 6:50Speaker 1: you know, the Bravo world, b Bravo fans would not
- 6:55Speaker 1: like it at all. So we did hide for a
- 6:58Speaker 1: little bit, and then people were sending things into TMZ
- 7:01Speaker 1: behind our back, and people there was even a paparazzi
- 7:04Speaker 1: that came down to OC and like got us when
- 7:07Speaker 1: I was because they all knew where he lives, right
- 7:09Speaker 1: because of his relationship with Shannon, And they even got
- 7:12Speaker 1: us going to church one day. So it was then
- 7:14Speaker 1: it came to the point where we had to make
- 7:15Speaker 1: a statement and we came out, you know, and let
- 7:17Speaker 1: America know. But I think once the hate really really started,
- 7:22Speaker 1: that is what kind of drove John and I closer together,
- 7:25Speaker 1: to be honest, because I think that can either break
- 7:27Speaker 1: a relationship, just like a death of a loved one
- 7:30Speaker 1: can make or break a relationship.
- 7:32Speaker 2: But like the scrutiny and the hate we.
- 7:34Speaker 1: Were getting, I think is part of what just made
- 7:38Speaker 1: our bond so much stronger because we're like, if we
- 7:41Speaker 1: can get through this, and every day we'd have to
- 7:43Speaker 1: pick each other up, like don't turn on your phone,
- 7:45Speaker 1: don't read anything in the media, don't do any of that.
- 7:48Speaker 2: I think it really.
- 7:50Speaker 1: Really helped our relationship flourish even more. Even that it
- 7:53Speaker 1: sounds so weird, you know, cause it was a very
- 7:55Speaker 1: stressful time, but it's.
- 7:57Speaker 2: Kind of a beautiful love story.
- 7:58Speaker 1: And I always said, I always said to everyone, just
- 8:00Speaker 1: give us time and if everyone really watches it, it's
- 8:03Speaker 1: a beautiful love story how we met and how we
- 8:06Speaker 1: persevered through very difficult season on a national television show.
- 8:11Speaker 4: So you know, and honestly, I am so humbled and
- 8:16Speaker 4: so happy that I got to meet both of you
- 8:19Speaker 4: and got to know you on a personal level because
- 8:22Speaker 4: it completely changed my world too.
- 8:24Speaker 3: So you know, obviously not only you guys had to.
- 8:31Speaker 4: I mean, display all your true feelings in front of
- 8:34Speaker 4: everybody and stay true to yourself, and you know, like
- 8:39Speaker 4: it's an incredibly inspiring It gives me so much hope,
- 8:43Speaker 4: and like I have enormous respect for both of you.
- 8:48Speaker 4: A lot of people like sometimes just give up under
- 8:51Speaker 4: this type of pressure, and you just kept who you are,
- 8:54Speaker 4: you know, like you felt those true feelings and.
- 8:59Speaker 3: I don't know, you guys are my complete role models.
- 9:02Speaker 3: Like I'm looking after you. I'm like, I'm super grateful and.
- 9:05Speaker 4: You guys giving me a hope that there is something
- 9:09Speaker 4: that you know, maybe in the future in store for me.
- 9:12Speaker 2: Well, so are you dating?
- 9:14Speaker 7: I am still recovering, to be honest, I mean, for
- 9:19Speaker 7: anybody who did not see Season London, Season two of
- 9:22Speaker 7: mcbe Dynasty and don't know my entire previous background.
- 9:27Speaker 4: I'm like I am right now, I'm just observing them.
- 9:31Speaker 4: That's why I have so many questions for you. And
- 9:33Speaker 4: you know, you've been such a role model and you
- 9:38Speaker 4: literally give me hope because you know, obviously, my entire
- 9:42Speaker 4: disaster of the relationship was also on a national TV
- 9:45Speaker 4: and available to public, and I got I got an
- 9:48Speaker 4: enormous amount of support and I got a lot of
- 9:50Speaker 4: hate as well.
- 9:51Speaker 3: So but it's new to me.
- 9:54Speaker 4: So your advice, your guidance, everything that you guys experience
- 10:00Speaker 4: and everything that.
- 10:02Speaker 3: Kind of kept me going and you know giving me home.
- 10:05Speaker 3: So so grateful for you.
- 10:07Speaker 1: Well you did you did do kind not not do
- 10:10Speaker 1: You did go through something similar on the opposite, Like
- 10:14Speaker 1: I had a public relationship that began that was hated
- 10:17Speaker 1: so much, and you had a public breakup.
- 10:20Speaker 2: That was very difficult.
- 10:22Speaker 1: So we kind of I mean, I think that is
- 10:24Speaker 1: a lot of how we you and I became fast
- 10:27Speaker 1: friends too, not only because I mean, you are a
- 10:29Speaker 1: Missouri girl now, so we have those comment but I mean,
- 10:34Speaker 1: if you think about it, we both did have a
- 10:36Speaker 1: lot of the same scrutiny and hate for two different reasons.
- 10:41Speaker 1: Ones a breakup and one's a relationship. But John really
- 10:45Speaker 1: is what helped get me through it because he I've
- 10:49Speaker 1: never known a man like him, like he is just
- 10:51Speaker 1: so he is. He knows his moral compass, he knows
- 10:55Speaker 1: his integrity, he is just like he saw what he
- 10:59Speaker 1: wanted and he came after it and he was like,
- 11:01Speaker 1: I don't care about the public, I don't care what
- 11:03Speaker 1: anyone else says. And he was just just a rock
- 11:07Speaker 1: and such a force, you know.
- 11:09Speaker 4: And this is so freaking and this is why I
- 11:13Speaker 4: love you guys so much. I mean the moment when
- 11:15Speaker 4: we we had the bridal shower on Newport and the
- 11:19Speaker 4: first time, you know, we kind of like hang out
- 11:21Speaker 4: on a very casual in you know format, and I
- 11:27Speaker 4: saw him supporting you and like genuinely absolutely adoring you,
- 11:33Speaker 4: and I'm like, wow, I mean, I don't even know
- 11:36Speaker 4: what that feels like. But I saw how authentic you
- 11:39Speaker 4: guys relationship is and it just, I don't know, it
- 11:43Speaker 4: just put me in such a good mood.
- 11:45Speaker 3: It made me so happy for both of you. And
- 11:47Speaker 3: who cares what everybody thinks, you know, It's.
- 11:50Speaker 2: It's at the end of the day, it's it's about
- 11:52Speaker 2: you guys.
- 11:53Speaker 4: You know, it's about what makes you happy, and I
- 11:56Speaker 4: am happy that you.
- 11:57Speaker 3: Guys, at this point of.
- 11:59Speaker 1: You it's easy to say, you know, who cares what
- 12:12Speaker 1: everyone else thinks? Because I mean, that's John and I
- 12:16Speaker 1: would have to wake up and tell ourselves that all
- 12:17Speaker 1: the time. But then when you know, it starts bleeding
- 12:20Speaker 1: into our children are getting affected by the negative comments.
- 12:23Speaker 1: I have to turn all my comments off for three
- 12:25Speaker 1: months because there's so much hate. It's like, it's not
- 12:28Speaker 1: so easy to just go, oh, you know, who cares
- 12:32Speaker 1: what America thinks? I mean, in the public eye, as
- 12:34Speaker 1: you know, Gileina, you have to kind of say that
- 12:36Speaker 1: no matter what. That kind of has to be your
- 12:38Speaker 1: motto every day when you wake.
- 12:40Speaker 2: Up, who cares?
- 12:41Speaker 1: The more haters we have, that means we're doing something right,
- 12:44Speaker 1: because if everybody just loves you, you're obviously a wishy washy.
- 12:47Speaker 1: You don't have you don't have the things you stand for,
- 12:50Speaker 1: Like you have to tell yourself all of that.
- 12:51Speaker 2: But you know, and I.
- 12:53Speaker 1: Often get asked like do I regret or have any
- 12:57Speaker 1: insecurities or anything about the.
- 12:58Speaker 2: Relationship, And it's like, I think, at the very.
- 13:02Speaker 1: Beginning, I think, at the very beginning, when how big
- 13:06Speaker 1: it exploded with the hate and how fast the hate
- 13:09Speaker 1: came without anyone even giving us one chance. I went through,
- 13:13Speaker 1: you know, probably a week or two of really like questioning,
- 13:16Speaker 1: am I ready to do this? Is John really the
- 13:20Speaker 1: one and worth it? And is is it something I
- 13:23Speaker 1: think I can handle? And you know, and then all
- 13:26Speaker 1: I had to do Galina really was like I sat back.
- 13:29Speaker 1: I think one of the nights we didn't stay together
- 13:31Speaker 1: because there's you know, we still keep kept both of
- 13:33Speaker 1: our homes. He lives in like twenty minutes from me,
- 13:36Speaker 1: so it was one of the nights we weren't staying together,
- 13:38Speaker 1: and I.
- 13:38Speaker 2: Thought, Okay, this is what my life will be. I
- 13:40Speaker 2: will be like this.
- 13:41Speaker 1: I will not have him tomorrow come stay the night
- 13:44Speaker 1: with me. I won't be at his house. I mean,
- 13:46Speaker 1: that's what your future is going to look like.
- 13:48Speaker 2: So are you going to grow the balls? Let me
- 13:52Speaker 2: just say to to make it through this?
- 13:55Speaker 1: Or is it time to close the door and keep
- 13:58Speaker 1: him as a friend and then America will like me again?
- 14:01Speaker 1: And I just thought, I can't. I can't picture a
- 14:03Speaker 1: day without him, you know, so I think I probably
- 14:05Speaker 1: even then.
- 14:06Speaker 2: Just picked up the phone and called him and talked
- 14:07Speaker 2: him till two o'clock.
- 14:08Speaker 3: Again in the morning. Again. I love it, And this
- 14:11Speaker 3: is why I love you, Sosia.
- 14:12Speaker 4: I mean, I know, like this is probably one of
- 14:14Speaker 4: those things that I wake up every morning I'm like,
- 14:16Speaker 4: oh my God, and you know, I'm like, okay, I'm.
- 14:19Speaker 3: Just going to be me and you know, I'm just
- 14:22Speaker 3: gonna make it through day. I'm not going to read
- 14:24Speaker 3: any negative comments.
- 14:25Speaker 2: And that's when you text me.
- 14:27Speaker 3: And then when I.
- 14:27Speaker 1: Text you, you know, I'm like, hey, no, But then
- 14:30Speaker 1: you also, I want you to keep remembering when it
- 14:33Speaker 1: gets tough like that, text me and say I'm having
- 14:35Speaker 1: a bad day. This is one of the days that
- 14:37Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good because you know I've been there,
- 14:39Speaker 1: and I'm gonna I'm gonna either send you a Bible
- 14:41Speaker 1: scripture or just give you.
- 14:42Speaker 2: A little oath of like, Okay, you can make it
- 14:45Speaker 2: through it. You know it really is. This too Shall Pass?
- 14:47Speaker 1: This too Shall Pass is such a good saying for
- 14:50Speaker 1: just everything.
- 14:50Speaker 2: But okay, I have a question for you.
- 14:52Speaker 1: So what okay, if you if you had any friend
- 14:56Speaker 1: that was going through like an ugly like the worst
- 14:59Speaker 1: part of the divorce, like they just found out or
- 15:01Speaker 1: they just are just going through all the attorneys and
- 15:04Speaker 1: doing the grunt.
- 15:04Speaker 2: Work of the divorce. What would your what would your
- 15:07Speaker 2: advice be?
- 15:08Speaker 1: Since you have been divorced after a ten year marriage,
- 15:11Speaker 1: that's not just a quick little flame.
- 15:13Speaker 2: You were married ten years and have a child also.
- 15:15Speaker 3: My only child, right, yes, So.
- 15:18Speaker 2: What would your advice be? What would your one tip?
- 15:21Speaker 4: Just just focus on the future. Just focus on the future.
- 15:25Speaker 4: Don't don't try to knock on the little thing that
- 15:29Speaker 4: you can get from.
- 15:31Speaker 3: You know, the past.
- 15:33Speaker 4: I honestly, when I was going through that, I let
- 15:36Speaker 4: everything go. I mean I knew it wasn't you know,
- 15:39Speaker 4: it was over. He was he is a great father
- 15:42Speaker 4: to my daughter. You know, we had a great marriage.
- 15:46Speaker 3: You know, but abandon did not work out.
- 15:48Speaker 4: And what got me through it is just like focusing
- 15:51Speaker 4: on the future.
- 15:52Speaker 3: And yeah, it's it's definitely who's a difficult time of
- 15:56Speaker 3: my life. I did not even know how to deal
- 15:58Speaker 3: with it. But focusing on the future that what got
- 16:00Speaker 3: me through.
- 16:01Speaker 2: And you too, are amicable.
- 16:03Speaker 1: You and your ex are just so that the audience knows,
- 16:05Speaker 1: because I don't think everyone knows our love stories. But
- 16:08Speaker 1: so you are amicable and co parented good.
- 16:11Speaker 3: We are now. Yes, it took a minute to get
- 16:14Speaker 3: to it, for sure. Yeah, but we are now and able.
- 16:18Speaker 4: To you know, come to my daughter's events together and
- 16:21Speaker 4: you know, he texts me to check in and all
- 16:23Speaker 4: that stuff.
- 16:24Speaker 3: Yeah, it did take a minute.
- 16:25Speaker 4: And that was like, this is my biggest advice to everybody.
- 16:30Speaker 4: You know, we we're growing at the different pace and
- 16:34Speaker 4: patterns in our life. We're coming from different cultures and sometimes,
- 16:37Speaker 4: you know, we think we are in love. You know,
- 16:39Speaker 4: we have kids together. You know, sometimes it does not
- 16:43Speaker 4: work out, and it's it's okay, you know in some cases.
- 16:47Speaker 4: But you know what is not okay is not to
- 16:50Speaker 4: be a co parent and not to support the kids.
- 16:53Speaker 4: If we had children together, let's be co parents. Let's
- 16:56Speaker 4: be grown up and you know, work through things together
- 17:00Speaker 4: and be supportive of our children.
- 17:03Speaker 3: You know, that's my biggest advice, Like, just be bigger
- 17:06Speaker 3: than that. That's good.
- 17:07Speaker 2: And I think that.
- 17:10Speaker 1: I say this in any podcast I talk about love
- 17:12Speaker 1: because I am getting asked. I feel like I'm repeating
- 17:14Speaker 1: myself because I am still obviously in the media and
- 17:17Speaker 1: doing interviews and people ask but they're so intrigued by
- 17:19Speaker 1: the wedding and just everything about it. But so I
- 17:21Speaker 1: feel like I'm repeating myself, but I wanted to. I
- 17:23Speaker 1: haven't said this to you, I don't think. But I
- 17:25Speaker 1: felt like when nobody goes down the aisle in a
- 17:31Speaker 1: marriage thinking they're going to get divorced, nobody Nobody says
- 17:34Speaker 1: I can't wait to marry, pop out a couple kids,
- 17:37Speaker 1: and then get a divorce. So the hardest part is
- 17:40Speaker 1: wrapping your brain around it and finally figuring out, Okay,
- 17:43Speaker 1: it's not going to work out, which is what I
- 17:44Speaker 1: had to do with mine because mine was you know,
- 17:48Speaker 1: fourteen years and we were in therapy almost the whole time.
- 17:51Speaker 1: Oh wow, And and you know, I finally had to
- 17:54Speaker 1: come to terms with you know, it's just not going
- 17:57Speaker 1: to work.
- 17:57Speaker 2: It's not going to work. And then I wanted to.
- 17:59Speaker 2: I kept trying to in there.
- 18:00Speaker 1: A couple more years, you know, you tell yourself, a
- 18:01Speaker 1: couple more years, just get get the kids a little
- 18:03Speaker 1: older exactly.
- 18:05Speaker 2: My advice would be what I said a few minutes ago.
- 18:08Speaker 1: My advice to anyone going through this is just know
- 18:10Speaker 1: that this too shall pass. Like you think, I remember,
- 18:14Speaker 1: I was a stay at home mom. You know, I
- 18:15Speaker 1: know people don't agree with that. But Jim and I
- 18:17Speaker 1: went into that marriage knowing. I mean, like he had
- 18:19Speaker 1: me quit my job within a year because we were
- 18:22Speaker 1: married fast, and then he wanted we both wanted to
- 18:24Speaker 1: get pregnant right away because I was already twenty seven,
- 18:27Speaker 1: so it was a very sped up relationship. But I didn't,
- 18:32Speaker 1: you know, I autie has obviously thought I was going
- 18:35Speaker 1: to stay married to this guy forever, and I.
- 18:38Speaker 2: Went through with the whole stay.
- 18:40Speaker 1: At home mom because I did want to be the
- 18:41Speaker 1: mom that takes care of my kids. I did, like
- 18:43Speaker 1: I didn't want to have a nanny, and I don't
- 18:45Speaker 1: think either way is wrong. I mean, if you're a
- 18:47Speaker 1: dedicated worker and you're the breadwinner the family and you're
- 18:50Speaker 1: a female, great good for you. If you're not and
- 18:52Speaker 1: you want to be a stay at home mom, great
- 18:54Speaker 1: good for you. So that's Jim and I went into
- 18:56Speaker 1: that together thinking that. But then I remember the first
- 19:00Speaker 1: day that we had split and I had to be
- 19:05Speaker 1: alone without my kids for the first night, and it
- 19:08Speaker 1: was our it was the first fifty to fifty kind
- 19:10Speaker 1: of thing, and the paperwork wasn't done yet, our divorce
- 19:12Speaker 1: wasn't finalized because that takes, you know, months, as everyone knows.
- 19:15Speaker 1: But it was where we stopped living under one roof
- 19:18Speaker 1: and we started calling nesting, right.
- 19:20Speaker 2: We didn't want to disrupt the children, and I hadn't
- 19:21Speaker 2: found a house yet.
- 19:22Speaker 1: I knew I didn't want to stay in that house
- 19:23Speaker 1: because I never liked the other house.
- 19:25Speaker 2: We were living in.
- 19:26Speaker 1: It was way too big and I felt an eerie
- 19:28Speaker 1: spirit there. I just didn't like that house anyway. So
- 19:30Speaker 1: I went and stayed at the Ritz Carlton at the time,
- 19:32Speaker 1: it was, you know, and I was like, I am
- 19:34Speaker 1: just going to put myself in a nicer hotel and
- 19:37Speaker 1: just you know, pamper myself. And I curled up in
- 19:39Speaker 1: a ball and cried the whole night. I mean, that's
- 19:41Speaker 1: all I did. I you know, paid for that gorgeous room,
- 19:44Speaker 1: didn't use the pool, didn't use it, didn't do a.
- 19:46Speaker 2: Thing, and just cried the whole night. But at least
- 19:48Speaker 2: I was in a nice resort, you.
- 19:49Speaker 3: Know, That's exactly I mean.
- 19:52Speaker 2: It just it's the hardest thing.
- 19:54Speaker 1: So I want parents to know, and even if you're
- 19:56Speaker 1: not parents, that this two shall passed and you do
- 19:59Speaker 1: get a over the hump of it, you know, the
- 20:02Speaker 1: brutality and just not it's the brutality of the heartache.
- 20:06Speaker 2: I guess is what I was trying to say. But
- 20:07Speaker 2: it's just it's so painful.
- 20:09Speaker 3: It really is, it really is. But it will pass.
- 20:11Speaker 4: And then, you know, I'm a true believer into you know,
- 20:15Speaker 4: everything happens for a reason, and you know all of
- 20:18Speaker 4: our journeys and experiences are you know at the end,
- 20:21Speaker 4: you know it will work out and it shall pass,
- 20:24Speaker 4: and then we are on better adventures in life. Right,
- 20:27Speaker 4: speaking of the better adventures in life, let's let's focus
- 20:33Speaker 4: on those amazing festivities that we had about your beautiful
- 20:39Speaker 4: future ahead of you.
- 20:41Speaker 3: I'm done with all the hate and all this nonsense.
- 20:44Speaker 4: Let's talk about celebrating you and John and everything that
- 20:48Speaker 4: happened this year. Thank you so much for making me
- 20:51Speaker 4: a part of it. Let's start with the retreat in Scottsdale.
- 20:55Speaker 4: How fun was that?
- 20:57Speaker 3: Well?
- 20:57Speaker 1: I didn't realize we were going to have so many
- 21:00Speaker 1: like shin digs.
- 21:01Speaker 2: Before the wedding, you know what I mean, Like it
- 21:03Speaker 2: was just.
- 21:03Speaker 1: Like one thing and then the next thing, and and
- 21:06Speaker 1: you know, I loved the nearly weds because we didn't
- 21:08Speaker 1: really have the energy or the time really because it
- 21:12Speaker 1: was coming up so fast to do you know, a
- 21:14Speaker 1: bachelor bachelotte party. So that was kind of our way
- 21:17Speaker 1: of bachelorette nearly weds. Is was our version of what
- 21:23Speaker 1: a bachelor bachelorette party would be, is what I was
- 21:25Speaker 1: trying to say. And so that's when we only took
- 21:28Speaker 1: the six of us the Gillina. It was a very
- 21:30Speaker 1: small group of us and we just went off to Vegas. Yes,
- 21:35Speaker 1: but that was after the bridal retreat. But the only
- 21:37Speaker 1: reason the bridal retreat happened is because this amazing designer
- 21:41Speaker 1: was making a couture down for me, like like from scratch,
- 21:47Speaker 1: like like we designed it together. And so I was
- 21:50Speaker 1: so excited to take you guys to Scott still with me.
- 21:52Speaker 2: I can't believe y'all jumped on bored.
- 21:54Speaker 1: I'm like, I would love to miss that for him,
- 21:57Speaker 1: And then I send it to my five closest friends
- 22:00Speaker 1: and I was like Warren, and I'm like, Okay, this
- 22:02Speaker 1: is fabulous, Jump on board, let's go.
- 22:05Speaker 2: Thanks for all your critiques too. I needed all your.
- 22:07Speaker 1: Advice on the gown. Even though I changed it a lot.
- 22:11Speaker 1: You don't even know what it looks like now.
- 22:13Speaker 3: I maybe should be surprised. I'm not gonna lie no thinking.
- 22:19Speaker 4: I mean, all of that was so fresh and new
- 22:21Speaker 4: to me because you know, obviously I had quite a
- 22:25Speaker 4: roller coaster of life, so I wasn't spoiled with having
- 22:29Speaker 4: amazing girlfriends that are getting married and having this, you.
- 22:33Speaker 3: Know, second chance in life.
- 22:34Speaker 4: And you know, again, like I said before, you're giving
- 22:37Speaker 4: me so much hope and then.
- 22:39Speaker 3: Including me in all of those awesome festivities. You know,
- 22:42Speaker 3: obviously Scottsdale was amazing, and the shower in Newport. Absolutely
- 22:49Speaker 3: loved it.
- 22:50Speaker 1: I was I think, one, Okay, you guys are so
- 22:53Speaker 1: done celebrating me.
- 22:54Speaker 2: That's why I'm so.
- 22:54Speaker 3: Glad I'm done celebrating you.
- 22:56Speaker 1: Ever, this wedding is all about spoiling you guys. So
- 23:01Speaker 1: that's I think that's why John and I are the
- 23:03Speaker 1: most excited is because it's it's just a big party,
- 23:06Speaker 1: and it's it's We've got a lot of surprises for you.
- 23:10Speaker 2: So thank you for celebrating everything for me.
- 23:13Speaker 1: I feel I've got like I feel like I'm like
- 23:16Speaker 1: it's almost like people are gonna think I paid.
- 23:18Speaker 2: You guys to come.
- 23:19Speaker 3: Do it with me.
- 23:21Speaker 1: How does someone have free festivities like that that all
- 23:24Speaker 1: the girls come, you know, like here, hey, girls, come,
- 23:27Speaker 1: I'll give you a thousand bucks, just come join me.
- 23:29Speaker 5: You know, like, uh, the whole Las Vegas trip, Oh
- 23:34Speaker 5: my god, I'm still like revisiting it all the time.
- 23:38Speaker 3: Like and I and I really love.
- 23:40Speaker 4: The idea that instead of like bachelor or bachelorette party,
- 23:43Speaker 4: having that newly wet experience when we all kind of
- 23:47Speaker 4: got together had you know.
- 23:49Speaker 3: So much fun. The whole mini golf was a lot
- 23:53Speaker 3: of fun. Actually, I loved it. I loved it so much.
- 23:57Speaker 1: I'm like, when we were planning that, I'm like, I don't.
- 23:59Speaker 1: I don't want to go to a night club. I'm
- 24:01Speaker 1: forty eight, John sixty two, I.
- 24:03Speaker 3: Mean I don't.
- 24:04Speaker 2: We can do that on another time, but I just
- 24:06Speaker 2: wanted to do something fun.
- 24:07Speaker 1: And put putt is like, for anyone that doesn't go
- 24:10Speaker 1: do that when they're in Vegas, I think they're missing out.
- 24:12Speaker 2: And the darts, I really do believe.
- 24:14Speaker 1: That that was just such a fun competitive I lost
- 24:19Speaker 1: a big time to John and I was I was
- 24:20Speaker 1: John doesn't golf, and I grew up on a.
- 24:22Speaker 2: Golf like golfing with my parents. And I'm sitting there
- 24:26Speaker 2: bragging to him for like three days. I'm like, I'm
- 24:28Speaker 2: gonna kick your butt.
- 24:29Speaker 1: At golf, you know, put pet golf and my first one, Galina,
- 24:32Speaker 1: we were on two different teams.
- 24:33Speaker 2: You were behind us or no, you were you were
- 24:36Speaker 2: with us?
- 24:36Speaker 3: No, you were right with you.
- 24:37Speaker 2: Yeah we were with us yea, yeah, yeah, because I
- 24:39Speaker 2: videoed you.
- 24:40Speaker 1: Anyways, the first hole, I think you guys were on
- 24:42Speaker 1: the whole two you and Spencer And first all I
- 24:44Speaker 1: did amazing.
- 24:45Speaker 2: I got like hole in one. I was here, now
- 24:48Speaker 2: you are good. And then I lost by like ten
- 24:51Speaker 2: or eight at the end of it.
- 24:53Speaker 3: So at the end of the day, it was all
- 24:55Speaker 3: about having fun. Yeah, you know what I got. I
- 24:57Speaker 3: gifted too, but we can tend a bear.
- 25:00Speaker 4: I really wanted to get that clone machine and get
- 25:03Speaker 4: the cable bear like it.
- 25:05Speaker 3: Literally was obsessed. And I did get one, not the.
- 25:08Speaker 2: Biggest one you wanted.
- 25:10Speaker 3: It's okay.
- 25:11Speaker 2: And how much did this beart this one time?
- 25:13Speaker 3: How much did that cost you?
- 25:15Speaker 2: Gilina? We got like a four hundred dollars, a little
- 25:17Speaker 2: bitty I.
- 25:19Speaker 3: Was really determined to have that bear, you know, and
- 25:23Speaker 3: I got it. So that's what you know. At the
- 25:25Speaker 3: end of the day, that what matters, right, that's I
- 25:27Speaker 3: got what I wanted.
- 25:29Speaker 2: That's right. I want to know when was the last
- 25:41Speaker 2: time you went.
- 25:42Speaker 3: On a date? Wow, you're going straight to like serious
- 25:47Speaker 3: question that everybody's wondering.
- 25:49Speaker 1: I to give everybody all my information. When was your
- 25:52Speaker 1: last date a month ago or not at all?
- 25:56Speaker 4: Or well, you know, I'm definitely not going on the
- 26:00Speaker 4: dates we see.
- 26:02Speaker 3: I can assure everybody of.
- 26:03Speaker 1: That I would fly right to your farm if that
- 26:08Speaker 1: was happening.
- 26:11Speaker 4: I mean that one is in the past, but definitely
- 26:15Speaker 4: moving on and open and looking forward to. That's why
- 26:20Speaker 4: you know, I was asking all of those questions of you,
- 26:24Speaker 4: because you guys, you're such an inspiration.
- 26:27Speaker 3: You know, like you're giving me a hope.
- 26:28Speaker 8: Obviously, I've always you know, I also had quite a
- 26:33Speaker 8: relationship on TV and in front of everybody, and the
- 26:38Speaker 8: breakup and just everything.
- 26:40Speaker 3: So I'm just taking my time right.
- 26:42Speaker 4: Now and feeling from all of that and meeting a
- 26:47Speaker 4: lot of new friends.
- 26:48Speaker 3: I've been blessed with so many.
- 26:50Speaker 9: Friends here in Kansas City and everybody who's been really
- 26:55Speaker 9: understanding and just taking one one day at a time,
- 26:58Speaker 9: and you know, a lot more to come.
- 27:00Speaker 3: I have a lot more surprises you and I will
- 27:04Speaker 3: talk about it next.
- 27:04Speaker 1: Okay, we'll talk about it when I see you in
- 27:06Speaker 1: a few days when. Okay, So what are what are
- 27:10Speaker 1: you looking for?
- 27:10Speaker 5: Like?
- 27:10Speaker 2: What is your type? Is it?
- 27:12Speaker 1: Are you like physical and like uh like morals and.
- 27:16Speaker 2: The whole package?
- 27:17Speaker 3: Like what is do you?
- 27:18Speaker 2: Okay, wait, this is the best question. I have two questions,
- 27:20Speaker 2: but let's do part one. Do you have a type
- 27:24Speaker 2: or if you look back at your past.
- 27:26Speaker 3: Different I definitely have a type, that's for sure.
- 27:29Speaker 4: So they all kind of look alike, not necessarily look alike,
- 27:34Speaker 4: well kind of yes, Okay, So give us.
- 27:37Speaker 3: What is the type?
- 27:38Speaker 1: Tall, dark, handsome or shorter, more athletic build, Like, what's
- 27:42Speaker 1: your type?
- 27:42Speaker 3: The ranch kind of us?
- 27:45Speaker 1: Okay, we have to have on cowboy boots and big
- 27:47Speaker 1: buckle and a cowboy hat.
- 27:48Speaker 3: You have to be yes, yeah, yeah, because.
- 27:53Speaker 2: Look at you on a farm.
- 27:54Speaker 1: So you're you wouldn't be attracted to like the Wall
- 27:56Speaker 1: Street like the business suit.
- 27:58Speaker 2: You want the rancher kind.
- 28:00Speaker 3: Yeah, most likely not the Wall Street guys.
- 28:02Speaker 4: But you know if she's a ranger with the Wall
- 28:04Speaker 4: Street scales, yeah for sure.
- 28:06Speaker 1: Okay, So then the next So I have three parts now,
- 28:08Speaker 1: I thought of another question, what's that? So that's the
- 28:10Speaker 1: physical part. Okay, so you want to ranch your type? Okay,
- 28:13Speaker 1: facial hair or no, definitely, yes, okay. Fascinating Part two
- 28:17Speaker 1: is what are well? I guess part two kind of
- 28:20Speaker 1: goes together, but like for what are your negotiables or
- 28:23Speaker 1: your non negotiables, like what would you and and that
- 28:27Speaker 1: kind of ties into like what kind of a what
- 28:29Speaker 1: kind of attribute like like emotional moral compass kind of thing,
- 28:35Speaker 1: like what would be like for me? It's like John
- 28:38Speaker 1: has to be God fearing. My husband, whoever I would marry,
- 28:41Speaker 1: has to read the Bible, believe in, you know, with
- 28:44Speaker 1: the Christian values I do. That's a non negotiable for
- 28:47Speaker 1: me because it's really hard to date someone who doesn't.
- 28:50Speaker 1: But what would be something for you?
- 28:52Speaker 4: It definitely has to be a strong moral standards and
- 28:54Speaker 4: respectful women. I grew up very different, you know, I
- 28:56Speaker 4: grew up in the former Soviet unions, so initially we
- 28:59Speaker 4: grew up in atheist country. However, our you know, my
- 29:03Speaker 4: moral strength standards were pretty strong, you know, even going
- 29:08Speaker 4: through I went through quite you know, a few changes,
- 29:11Speaker 4: but yeah, it has to be a very strong basic
- 29:15Speaker 4: moral standards somebody who respects women. And you know, see,
- 29:22Speaker 4: you know, as women, we go through a lot different
- 29:26Speaker 4: experiences in life, so those are absolutely like mass have
- 29:31Speaker 4: and and this is what I did not, unfortunately had
- 29:37Speaker 4: in the past.
- 29:38Speaker 3: You know, I felt like I had, you.
- 29:42Speaker 4: Know, just very few relationships in my life, and the
- 29:45Speaker 4: guys that I've been with, they did not have exact
- 29:49Speaker 4: respect for women that you know I was hoping for
- 29:53Speaker 4: or imagined or you know, I grew up with.
- 29:55Speaker 3: So I think that's definitely super important to maybe I.
- 30:00Speaker 1: Have a daughter, right, But luckily you're not with those
- 30:04Speaker 1: guys anymore. So now you can think, now you've learned,
- 30:06Speaker 1: you've learned, and now you can move forward. And if
- 30:09Speaker 1: you see any of those characteristics, that's when you say,
- 30:12Speaker 1: this is our last date, right, That's exactly.
- 30:14Speaker 4: Right, And this is what I've learned. You know, Like
- 30:16Speaker 4: a lot of times, I'm such a people pleaser. You know,
- 30:19Speaker 4: I grew up in Central Asia, you know, in completely
- 30:23Speaker 4: different society, so I've never knew how to draw.
- 30:31Speaker 3: Boundaries between men and woman.
- 30:32Speaker 4: I was always a man pleaser, pleaser, and through these experiences,
- 30:38Speaker 4: I'm like, Okay, you know, I know it's kind of late,
- 30:43Speaker 4: but not too late.
- 30:45Speaker 3: But now I'm learning how.
- 30:46Speaker 4: To draw the boundaries, how to recognize some of the behaviors,
- 30:50Speaker 4: and how to.
- 30:51Speaker 3: Speak up for myself. Good. That's good, and I.
- 30:56Speaker 1: Think that I think that that's why sometimes the relationships
- 30:59Speaker 1: that don't work are a blessing in disguise, because they
- 31:03Speaker 1: teach you exactly what you don't want in the future,
- 31:05Speaker 1: and it also matures you. It grow, It teaches you
- 31:09Speaker 1: how you know you are people pleaser.
- 31:11Speaker 2: That is something that's true.
- 31:12Speaker 1: So I think it's good for you to recognize that
- 31:15Speaker 1: and to also be like, I need to not just
- 31:18Speaker 1: please the person I'm with. It needs to be an equal,
- 31:21Speaker 1: you know, to a street kind of thing. He needs
- 31:23Speaker 1: to please me.
- 31:23Speaker 3: Too, So exactly, exactly sure.
- 31:27Speaker 4: And the thing is like, yeah, you know, maybe my
- 31:30Speaker 4: life was kind of wild and turbulent and the relationships
- 31:34Speaker 4: were not the greatest and I've never maybe drew the
- 31:37Speaker 4: boundaries that I.
- 31:38Speaker 3: Should have to begin with.
- 31:41Speaker 4: But my biggest sake away is that I've passed it
- 31:44Speaker 4: on to my daughter and now she is Yes, I
- 31:47Speaker 4: put her through some you know, difficulties, but now she
- 31:52Speaker 4: is so much better with her relationship. She knows how
- 31:55Speaker 4: to draw the boundaries. She she's her own person. She
- 31:59Speaker 4: you know, getting her own education. She's completely independent, and
- 32:03Speaker 4: I'm so proud of her. And in a way, you know,
- 32:06Speaker 4: all of the things that I went through, she learned
- 32:09Speaker 4: from it and she's going to have such a better
- 32:12Speaker 4: life and you know, so.
- 32:14Speaker 3: That's how I look at things.
- 32:16Speaker 2: That's beautiful.
- 32:16Speaker 1: So then if you get married again, do you think,
- 32:19Speaker 1: like for John and I, like, we didn't do marriage
- 32:22Speaker 1: counseling before this marriage, but that's because we both have
- 32:26Speaker 1: been through so much. I was in fourteen years of
- 32:28Speaker 1: marriage marriage counseling with Jim and then I had, you know,
- 32:32Speaker 1: a therapist.
- 32:32Speaker 2: I still have this therapist.
- 32:34Speaker 1: Through my mom's death and through the post divorce, I
- 32:37Speaker 1: got a new therapist. And so John and I discussed
- 32:41Speaker 1: it and we're like, well, should we and we would
- 32:44Speaker 1: have and we will. We'll go to therapy if we
- 32:45Speaker 1: need to, but we did not because of the fact
- 32:47Speaker 1: that we've had and you know, he has his own
- 32:49Speaker 1: therapist too, but we've been through so much therapy that
- 32:51Speaker 1: I felt like we're okay at the time. So would
- 32:55Speaker 1: you do you think you would if you find mister
- 32:57Speaker 1: Wright again?
- 32:58Speaker 3: I think so? I think I really would love to. Yes,
- 33:03Speaker 3: I would love that.
- 33:05Speaker 1: I think it's just if you haven't had a ton
- 33:07Speaker 1: of the therapy like I can tell John has, because
- 33:09Speaker 1: when we get into a little hiccup or anything, it's
- 33:12Speaker 1: you have the tools and your tool belt that the
- 33:14Speaker 1: therapists have taught you about communication and and you know,
- 33:17Speaker 1: validate their feelings, like make sure it's not just a
- 33:20Speaker 1: one way street. So so yeah, like so those are
- 33:23Speaker 1: the tools. It's like it's like, don't raise your voice,
- 33:27Speaker 1: don't go to bed mad.
- 33:28Speaker 3: It's not only even about that.
- 33:30Speaker 4: It's about like for me, it was an ability to
- 33:33Speaker 4: just even voice myself. You know, we grew up so
- 33:37Speaker 4: much not being able to talk about anything. So you know,
- 33:42Speaker 4: like you agree, like I wasn't even able to vocabulary.
- 33:47Speaker 3: My own feelings.
- 33:48Speaker 4: So that was a scull on its own, and it's
- 33:51Speaker 4: it's very hard to learn that kind of late later
- 33:53Speaker 4: in your life to be able to speak your feelings
- 33:57Speaker 4: openly in front of everybody.
- 33:59Speaker 2: You did have to learn that.
- 34:00Speaker 1: Then, you had to really you had to learn that
- 34:02Speaker 1: because you were squealed when you are in the past,
- 34:05Speaker 1: and obviously when you're in America, you can see that
- 34:07Speaker 1: we aren't squelched.
- 34:08Speaker 2: We do speak our minds. We do.
- 34:10Speaker 3: Yes, that's what I love about it.
- 34:12Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's good.
- 34:13Speaker 1: But I think one of the biggest tools that my
- 34:16Speaker 1: therapist has always taught me.
- 34:17Speaker 2: This was my past therapist.
- 34:19Speaker 1: She passed away or I probably still have her actually,
- 34:21Speaker 1: but she was our therapist the whole time John and
- 34:22Speaker 1: I or Jim and I were married.
- 34:24Speaker 2: But she would always say, you don't.
- 34:27Speaker 1: Have to fix every argument right now, take put put
- 34:30Speaker 1: it up on your bookshelf, and and don't go to
- 34:33Speaker 1: bed mad. Don't go just say, hey, babe, we're butting heads.
- 34:36Speaker 1: We're not going to see eye to eye right now.
- 34:38Speaker 1: We're going to shelve it. It's still there. We're going
- 34:40Speaker 1: to pull it off the shelf tomorrow or in a
- 34:42Speaker 1: couple of days, and we're going to revisit it when
- 34:43Speaker 1: we both calm down, when we both processed and thought
- 34:46Speaker 1: it through, and then we talk about it in a
- 34:48Speaker 1: couple of days. And I'm telling you that is a
- 34:50Speaker 1: life changer, because you know, and there's even times there
- 34:53Speaker 1: was one time. We don't argue a lot, so I
- 34:55Speaker 1: can count them on like like three times maybe, but
- 34:58Speaker 1: the one of them I did not want to put
- 35:00Speaker 1: it on a shelf. I wanted to vomit my feelings out.
- 35:02Speaker 3: I wanted to.
- 35:03Speaker 2: I wanted to. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
- 35:04Speaker 2: I'm right on this one. I don't want, you know,
- 35:06Speaker 2: I want to keep going.
- 35:07Speaker 1: And he just kept looking at me, and he goes,
- 35:09Speaker 1: you're the one that taught me to put it on
- 35:10Speaker 1: a shelf. Now go put it up there and we'll
- 35:12Speaker 1: pull it off tomorrow. And I'm just like, you're right.
- 35:14Speaker 1: I got to listen to my own advice.
- 35:16Speaker 3: Now I love it.
- 35:18Speaker 1: But I think that would help a lot of married people,
- 35:20Speaker 1: and a lot even to data whoever your special person is,
- 35:23Speaker 1: because you do sometimes and girls are more talkative and
- 35:26Speaker 1: communicate to most of the time than men.
- 35:29Speaker 2: But you know, it just it's helpful, super helpful.
- 35:33Speaker 3: I completely agree.
- 35:34Speaker 4: I think that it made my life so much easier
- 35:36Speaker 4: once I start learning how to be able to speak
- 35:39Speaker 4: my feelings like to anybody, Like you know, I've been
- 35:44Speaker 4: so closed up and kind of carried everything inside myself
- 35:47Speaker 4: for so long, and it affected the way I was
- 35:50Speaker 4: reacting to new situations. So you know, this ability just
- 35:55Speaker 4: open communication makes a tremendous difference. And speaking of the
- 36:00Speaker 4: open communication and changing a little bit of a course
- 36:05Speaker 4: to positive things because we have a.
- 36:07Speaker 10: Huge celebration next weekend yet, which I'm looking forward to.
- 36:11Speaker 10: Please tell me all about next weekend, Like did you.
- 36:17Speaker 3: You know, how did you and John like weathered all
- 36:22Speaker 3: of that?
- 36:23Speaker 4: I know that wedding preparations can be extremely stressful, and like, were.
- 36:27Speaker 3: You planning all of that? Did he have any kind
- 36:29Speaker 3: of contribution to it? Like, come on, how did you
- 36:33Speaker 3: handle all of that?
- 36:34Speaker 1: It's so funny because I was just laughing with him
- 36:37Speaker 1: about this a couple of days ago, because.
- 36:38Speaker 2: Now we're you know, we are down to the you know,
- 36:41Speaker 2: the wire, it's very close.
- 36:42Speaker 1: But up until about a month ago, I have been
- 36:46Speaker 1: bragging to everyone about how easy it is the second
- 36:49Speaker 1: time around. I call it the second time around because
- 36:50Speaker 1: I don't really count my first marriage, so it's third
- 36:52Speaker 1: times a charm for me.
- 36:53Speaker 3: But I just coun't.
- 36:54Speaker 1: I just say, you know, this is I do part two.
- 36:56Speaker 1: So to me, this is I do part two. Still,
- 36:58Speaker 1: he's my second wedding, very basically, but anyway, he I
- 37:03Speaker 1: was bragging to everyone, all my friends, I'm like, it's
- 37:05Speaker 1: so easy.
- 37:05Speaker 2: We had hired this is a funny thing.
- 37:07Speaker 1: We hired my wedding planner that did my wedding with Jim.
- 37:12Speaker 2: So I asked John.
- 37:14Speaker 1: I said, I know, I know, and most people would think, Okay,
- 37:17Speaker 1: this is really bad luck.
- 37:18Speaker 2: Battleman. I had been interviewing other wedding planners. Nothing was gelling.
- 37:22Speaker 1: I'm like, there were just you know, you have to
- 37:23Speaker 1: have a chemistry with your wedding planner. And I'd had
- 37:26Speaker 1: a lot of the wedding already planned by the time
- 37:27Speaker 1: I started, you know, looking for her. I already had
- 37:30Speaker 1: the vision in my mind. We already had the place,
- 37:33Speaker 1: you know, solidified. So she was jumping in as kind
- 37:36Speaker 1: of a part time wedding planner. But so I'm laying
- 37:38Speaker 1: in bed one night, I just asked him. I'm like, honey,
- 37:40Speaker 1: I'm like, the worst she can say is no, right,
- 37:42Speaker 1: It's not gonna hurt his feelings, I hope.
- 37:44Speaker 2: So I just said, Honey, you know I'm not having
- 37:46Speaker 2: any luck.
- 37:46Speaker 1: Can I just reach out to my wedding planner that
- 37:49Speaker 1: worked with my wedding with Jim, because she's amazing.
- 37:53Speaker 2: We get along so well, she.
- 37:54Speaker 1: Knows my everything, and she already you know, she did
- 37:56Speaker 1: an amazing wedding for that one. That one was different
- 37:59Speaker 1: feel and you know, different venue, but did amazing with it.
- 38:03Speaker 2: And she's like I.
- 38:05Speaker 1: Don't care, and I'm like, Okay, this is fabulous, you know,
- 38:08Speaker 1: like yay.
- 38:08Speaker 2: So called her the next day.
- 38:10Speaker 1: She's still in the business, even though she now she
- 38:12Speaker 1: does Christian therapy and she's a travel agency and she
- 38:15Speaker 1: does one or two weddings a year. But she's like
- 38:18Speaker 1: the crime Delachrome of wedding planners. She had a TV
- 38:21Speaker 1: show twenty years ago, back when I was marrying Jen.
- 38:23Speaker 1: She had actually done a planning TV show at the time.
- 38:27Speaker 1: So that was kind of interesting too, because we weren't
- 38:29Speaker 1: even thinking of being on TV at that point. The
- 38:31Speaker 1: housewives had not reached out to me. That was twenty
- 38:33Speaker 1: years ago. I think we were married for four years
- 38:36Speaker 1: before they actually you know, interviewed me to be on
- 38:39Speaker 1: the show. But anyway, so bragging, okay about how easy
- 38:43Speaker 1: it is, got that wedding planner, got the resorts wedding
- 38:45Speaker 1: planner that they put you with someone, and then I've
- 38:48Speaker 1: got all my party planning skills.
- 38:50Speaker 2: So I'm like, this is a breeze, John, I'm not
- 38:53Speaker 2: kidding you. The past two weeks I have not slept.
- 38:55Speaker 1: I am I'm constantly forgetting something. I call it with
- 39:00Speaker 1: my kids, and I call it pregnancy brain as the
- 39:02Speaker 1: same as wedding brain, because when you're pregnant, you know
- 39:05Speaker 1: how you forget things you don't know when you wake
- 39:07Speaker 1: up that day, you're like, did I do that last
- 39:08Speaker 1: night or not? Wedding brain is a real thing, everybody.
- 39:12Speaker 1: I mean, it is real. I'm like, no, I did
- 39:16Speaker 1: that yesterday, and then I go back to my notes
- 39:18Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I didn't do that. And then
- 39:19Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, John, I didn't do that, And
- 39:21Speaker 1: then I go to my notes and I'm like, oh,
- 39:22Speaker 1: I did do that. It's like it's I cannot keep
- 39:24Speaker 1: it all straight. So I don't know how we're getting through.
- 39:27Speaker 1: And if I pull it all off with like without
- 39:30Speaker 1: any you know, any hitch or anything on when when
- 39:33Speaker 1: it is, I don't want to.
- 39:34Speaker 2: Say when it is, but I will.
- 39:36Speaker 1: I will wake up the next morning completely just elated.
- 39:40Speaker 2: But you know what else, I know, you know what else?
- 39:42Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna wake up depressed because you put
- 39:45Speaker 1: so much time and energy and effort into this making
- 39:48Speaker 1: sure every little detail is so perfect, and then it's
- 39:52Speaker 1: just like Christmas morning and then all the presents are
- 39:53Speaker 1: opened and you're looking at the tree and you're like,
- 39:55Speaker 1: now I got to take the tree down, and you
- 39:56Speaker 1: don't want Christmas to be over, but it's over. And
- 39:58Speaker 1: I'm like I told John, I said, thank god, we're
- 40:00Speaker 1: taking another little mini staycation right after. And I said,
- 40:04Speaker 1: I'm going to be so glad that we're there and
- 40:06Speaker 1: not going home, because can you imagine at this big
- 40:08Speaker 1: high from being at the wedding, all this setting down
- 40:11Speaker 1: to just being back and our boring all home, you know,
- 40:15Speaker 1: watching TV. So yeah, and we're not doing a honeymoon.
- 40:19Speaker 1: We did, We've done so much traveling the past six months.
- 40:22Speaker 1: And then right after the wedding, because that's the number
- 40:25Speaker 1: one question people ask me as words, your honeymoon.
- 40:27Speaker 3: That was my number one question right after this morning, Well.
- 40:30Speaker 2: We're doing it.
- 40:31Speaker 1: We're going to do a big uh probably Bora Bora
- 40:33Speaker 1: or Maldives, I don't know, one of those.
- 40:35Speaker 2: Probably in a few months. But here's the deal.
- 40:38Speaker 1: Right after the wedding is John's birthday, my twins eighteenth
- 40:41Speaker 1: birthday in November, then Thanksgivings in November, then there's Christmas,
- 40:44Speaker 1: and then we have three or four more other kids' birthdays,
- 40:46Speaker 1: because you know, we're the Brady bunch, so we've.
- 40:48Speaker 2: Got three or four more other birthdays.
- 40:50Speaker 1: And I'm just like Johnny, I cannot I would not
- 40:52Speaker 1: relax wherever we went, because I will be Christmas shopping
- 40:56Speaker 1: on my phone the whole time. I will be planning
- 40:58Speaker 1: things for all that. In my case, I wonder for
- 41:00Speaker 1: everything we've got coming up. So yeah, so they it's
- 41:06Speaker 1: it's just done.
- 41:06Speaker 5: Somehow, I'm not surprised, Alexis, because this is one of
- 41:10Speaker 5: the biggest you know, like I think that I've learned
- 41:13Speaker 5: about you, and you know, I did not ask any
- 41:16Speaker 5: questions about it so far, but.
- 41:18Speaker 4: How particular and detailed you are, and how on top
- 41:22Speaker 4: of everything at all times.
- 41:25Speaker 11: We would be like at the freaking restaurant eating dinner,
- 41:27Speaker 11: and you like on your phone taking care of things,
- 41:30Speaker 11: you know, like because you want to make sure that
- 41:32Speaker 11: everything is perfect for your children, for everybody. You know,
- 41:35Speaker 11: like you're so particular, so detailed, so organized.
- 41:39Speaker 4: I was incredibly impressed with it, and I promise you
- 41:42Speaker 4: I noticed it immediately.
- 41:44Speaker 1: Well, let's cross my fingers that you can you can
- 41:46Speaker 1: have the same reaction after this big shin dig because
- 41:49Speaker 1: I'm I don't know.
- 41:49Speaker 2: I'm sure there's gonna be some little.
- 41:51Speaker 3: That's the thing.
- 41:52Speaker 1: On the On this wedding, it's like and the first
- 41:54Speaker 1: one I probably would have freaked out if anything goes wrong,
- 41:56Speaker 1: And on this one it's going to be like, Okay, look,
- 41:58Speaker 1: let's just figure out plan and move on like it's
- 42:01Speaker 1: whatever it is, you know.
- 42:02Speaker 2: But so the kids. Speaking of the kids, I wanted
- 42:04Speaker 2: to share this with you too. They you know, I
- 42:08Speaker 2: told you it's a non traditional wedding.
- 42:10Speaker 1: So one of the things that's happening, I'll give this
- 42:13Speaker 1: this is this is first new hand information.
- 42:16Speaker 2: You know. John and I do not like cake. We're
- 42:18Speaker 2: not cake eaters.
- 42:19Speaker 1: But my son Miles, this whole time planning this wedding,
- 42:23Speaker 1: he's like, I'm so excited.
- 42:24Speaker 2: My first wedding is going to be my mom's wedding.
- 42:26Speaker 2: I've never been to a wedding before.
- 42:27Speaker 3: Mom.
- 42:28Speaker 1: What wedding cake are you getting? It better be fabulous,
- 42:30Speaker 1: it better be huge, it better be this. And I'm like, Miles,
- 42:32Speaker 1: we're doing an all like a Sunday bar.
- 42:34Speaker 2: We had.
- 42:35Speaker 1: John and I had this whole other vision of what
- 42:36Speaker 1: we were going to do for like a big Sunday
- 42:39Speaker 1: bar with gourmet and all this stuff, and he's like,
- 42:41Speaker 1: but mom, you have to have a cake.
- 42:43Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't want a cake there.
- 42:45Speaker 1: Not only are they a thousand bucks or more, It's like,
- 42:47Speaker 1: I don't want a cake, okay, So I John and
- 42:51Speaker 1: I then decided we're gonna make miles of a day.
- 42:53Speaker 1: So we went cake tasting, we went cake shopping. We
- 42:56Speaker 1: found the perfect cake, and Miles and Kenna are going
- 43:01Speaker 1: to cut the cake and give serve John and I
- 43:04Speaker 1: a piece of cake because we did the cake only
- 43:06Speaker 1: for them, only for them.
- 43:07Speaker 2: So it's like that.
- 43:08Speaker 1: And then my son, well all three kids are walking
- 43:10Speaker 1: me down the aisle. But then my son, James is
- 43:14Speaker 1: he plays on the worship team of church. He is
- 43:16Speaker 1: going to bless the whole, the whole ceremony when we
- 43:20Speaker 1: first not the ceremony, the pastor will do the ceremony,
- 43:22Speaker 1: but when we get into the reception, he'll be So.
- 43:25Speaker 3: They each have a role.
- 43:25Speaker 1: And John's kids did not want to roll, but so
- 43:27Speaker 1: my kids each have a little something to make it special.
- 43:32Speaker 3: But yeah, I love it. I love it. I'm still
- 43:35Speaker 3: looking forward to all of that.
- 43:37Speaker 2: There's so many more surprises that you won't know to.
- 43:39Speaker 3: I cannot wait to get an epic weekend for sure.
- 43:45Speaker 1: Well, this has been amazing to catch up with you, girlfriend.
- 43:48Speaker 2: I know it will be amazing see me some more.
- 43:50Speaker 1: And don't forget to keep the date that I texted
- 43:53Speaker 1: you on the books for visiting my farm, and I'll
- 43:55Speaker 1: have to give you.
- 43:57Speaker 3: I promise you.
- 43:57Speaker 4: It's like all over my computer screens all the time.
- 44:01Speaker 3: And you know how many computer screens I have. It
- 44:04Speaker 3: sounds something like popping up as soon as I opened
- 44:06Speaker 3: up my laptop.
- 44:07Speaker 1: I don't know how you don't have a headache because
- 44:09Speaker 1: you are constantly looking at screens. I I after writing
- 44:12Speaker 1: even my vows, I'm like my eyes hurt because I'm
- 44:14Speaker 1: on the computer for so long, you know.
- 44:16Speaker 3: But Alexis I actually have another question for you. How
- 44:21Speaker 3: do you feel about queen ups? Do you guys have
- 44:24Speaker 3: a qreen up?
- 44:25Speaker 4: Because I, you know, especially you know, at this stage
- 44:29Speaker 4: of our lives, I think it's, you know, becoming quite
- 44:31Speaker 4: a big topic of the conversations.
- 44:34Speaker 2: You're just going right for the same question any.
- 44:37Speaker 1: Cohen asked, aren't you you? Probab didn't notice when he
- 44:40Speaker 1: asked that on Watch what happens.
- 44:41Speaker 2: Live when John and I I have important questions.
- 44:44Speaker 3: I'm in finance.
- 44:46Speaker 2: Yeah, we had just come I got engaged. I mean,
- 44:50Speaker 2: and and Andy just went right for it. He's like,
- 44:52Speaker 2: you're gonna find a preen up. So we did not
- 44:56Speaker 2: and are not.
- 44:58Speaker 1: We kind of both have the same flaw I know,
- 45:00Speaker 1: or signed one with any of my other marriages either.
- 45:03Speaker 2: We just have we have the philosophy.
- 45:04Speaker 1: John and I both do that if you start your
- 45:08Speaker 1: marriage like that, you're already looking for a divorce. And
- 45:11Speaker 1: it's like it's like you're you're thinking in your mind, oh,
- 45:13Speaker 1: this probably isn't going to make it. But then why
- 45:15Speaker 1: do you want to get married if that's even a
- 45:17Speaker 1: thought in your mind that it's not going to make it.
- 45:19Speaker 1: I know a lot of people have a lot to
- 45:20Speaker 1: say about that and are going to think we're both idiots,
- 45:22Speaker 1: and you know, but I we just we trust we
- 45:26Speaker 1: trust it.
- 45:27Speaker 4: So no, actually I do agree with you on that, Alexis,
- 45:31Speaker 4: because yes, you know, when you are starting thinking prenups,
- 45:35Speaker 4: you automatically assuming that the marriage will end at some point,
- 45:39Speaker 4: and we do not answer marriages thinking that it has
- 45:43Speaker 4: an exploration date. So I do agree with you I
- 45:47Speaker 4: know there's so many controversy about it, but I feel
- 45:51Speaker 4: like if you're entering the marriage, you trust each other,
- 45:54Speaker 4: so then you trust each other with the divorce proceeding.
- 45:58Speaker 4: It's unfortunate that there's so many such creation that it
- 46:00Speaker 4: did not happen, But this is not how I feel
- 46:02Speaker 4: about it, and I completely agree with you on that,
- 46:05Speaker 4: and it immediately creates like this trust between both of
- 46:10Speaker 4: you and definitely does not put an exploration date to
- 46:15Speaker 4: your relationship exactly.
- 46:18Speaker 1: It's interesting because you and I are both probably in
- 46:20Speaker 1: more of the minority for that. By the way, I mean,
- 46:23Speaker 1: I have a feeling most people would disagree with us,
- 46:25Speaker 1: and I trust me.
- 46:26Speaker 2: I have had earfuls of people telling me I'm an idiot.
- 46:30Speaker 3: What am I thinking?
- 46:31Speaker 2: You need to sign a prenapp like all of that,
- 46:33Speaker 2: But we're doing it our way.
- 46:36Speaker 4: And I agree with you on that because you know,
- 46:39Speaker 4: like I was married only once and when it did
- 46:42Speaker 4: not work out, I feel like I was extremely fair
- 46:45Speaker 4: through our divorce per seeding.
- 46:47Speaker 3: I did not ask for anything. I did not have
- 46:50Speaker 3: any kind of spousal support.
- 46:52Speaker 4: I did not take one, you know, because I felt
- 46:54Speaker 4: like I was, you know, one of the reasons why
- 46:58Speaker 4: it happened.
- 46:59Speaker 3: You know, you know, we kind of grew apart, and
- 47:01Speaker 3: I wanted to make sure that it was fair.
- 47:04Speaker 4: And I don't need a piece of paperwork or pre
- 47:07Speaker 4: nups or anything like that to have a good moral
- 47:10Speaker 4: standards and make it right for both of us when
- 47:14Speaker 4: the relationship did not work out.
- 47:16Speaker 1: I agree, and I think that's the best way to
- 47:18Speaker 1: handle it. And that's what Jim and I did because
- 47:20Speaker 1: we didn't have a prenup either.
- 47:21Speaker 3: So yeah, I loved it.
- 47:23Speaker 1: But you you texted me the other day and asked,
- 47:25Speaker 1: you know we obviously you know Tamar and I are close,
- 47:28Speaker 1: but you asked, you know who else is coming from
- 47:30Speaker 1: the cast, And so I never texted you back. Obviously
- 47:33Speaker 1: I knew we were going to be chatting today, but
- 47:36Speaker 1: so Heather and Tamer were invited to everything. Heather, as
- 47:40Speaker 1: we know, has a very busy life and has three
- 47:42Speaker 1: kids in different schools. So on the wedding weekend, she's actually, uh,
- 47:48Speaker 1: she's in one of our one of the towns. It's
- 47:50Speaker 1: it's parents weekend at one of her kids schools that weekend,
- 47:53Speaker 1: so they'll be at that kid's school. And then you,
- 47:56Speaker 1: obviously Tamer and Eddie are coming, Joe and Tay and
- 48:00Speaker 1: you know are coming because you were at the Nearly
- 48:02Speaker 1: Weed celebration with them. You're coming. So that's it from
- 48:07Speaker 1: the cast. And then my other girlfriend Brianna. I don't
- 48:11Speaker 1: think she's filmed with me, but she's also in the
- 48:13Speaker 1: makeup industry and has you know, it does a lot
- 48:16Speaker 1: on on social media for that. So that that's actually
- 48:19Speaker 1: with Spencer is your table. That's your table right there,
- 48:22Speaker 1: so it's a good table.
- 48:23Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I'm going to be at the table
- 48:25Speaker 3: was join Tamra and Spencer.
- 48:27Speaker 1: Tamra's best friend is coming, so yeah, I'll sit you
- 48:30Speaker 1: by Spencer.
- 48:30Speaker 2: You'll yeah, you'll have he can be your date.
- 48:34Speaker 3: I'm so looking forward to.
- 48:37Speaker 1: Well, Galina, this has been so fun to catch up
- 48:42Speaker 1: a lot of the information we already knew about each other,
- 48:44Speaker 1: but it was good to let the listeners learn a
- 48:46Speaker 1: little bit more because if there's any listeners stepping into
- 48:50Speaker 1: their chapter two, our advice is do not give up,
- 48:53Speaker 1: you know, and if you don't know where to start,
- 48:56Speaker 1: be sure to call us or email us. All the
- 48:58Speaker 1: infos in the show notes and follow us on socials
- 49:01Speaker 1: because we definitely want to hear what you have to say.
- 49:05Speaker 1: We love your comments and feedback for I Do Part two,
- 49:08Speaker 1: which is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is
- 49:12Speaker 1: the main objective by everybody.