Latest / Gospel Explorations / 078: What Does Jesus Say About Divorce and Remarriage? - Matthew 19:7-12
Transcript
- 0:03Mark: Hello every woman.
- 0:05Mark: This is Mark Davis.
- 0:13Mark: So we're how we have to live in this presentation.
- 0:16Mark: And you've chosen to spend some time with us today.
- 0:18Mark: Let's jump into today's episode.
- 0:26Mark: Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Gospel Explorations podcast, where we're taking time to slow down, open God's word, and explore not only what the scripture says, but how that same truth should then shape the way that we live.
- 0:40Mark: You know, in our last episode, we were looking at Matthew chapter 19, where the Pharisees approached Jesus with a question about divorce.
- 0:48Mark: Now, rather than immediately entering into their debate, Jesus took them all the way back to creation and reminded them that marriage was God's idea from the very beginning.
- 0:58Mark: The Bible tells us that God made male and female, brought them together, and declared that the two would become one flesh.
- 1:05Mark: And Jesus summarized that truth with these words What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
- 1:12Mark: But the Pharisees aren't finished.
- 1:14Mark: They have another question for Jesus, and in their question, we're going to discover something very important.
- 1:21Mark: They weren't simply confused about what Moses had written to them.
- 1:24Mark: They were looking for a way to make God's word fit what they already wanted to do.
- 1:30Mark: And I'm afraid that if we're not careful, we can do the exact same thing.
- 1:34Mark: So let's start today at Matthew chapter 19, looking at verse number seven.
- 1:39Mark: We read these words.
- 1:53Mark: And then the Pharisees ask this question.
- 1:57Mark: Notice the word they use, by the way, it says command.
- 2:00Mark: Now they're essentially saying, Hey, Jesus, if marriage is supposed to be permanent, then why did Moses command divorce?
- 2:08Mark: In verse number eight we read, He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
- 2:19Mark: You see, there's a significant difference between something that God commands and something that God permits.
- 2:26Mark: Moses did not command divorce, he regulated something that was already happening because of human sinfulness.
- 2:33Mark: And Jesus tells us exactly in this verse where this problem started.
- 2:37Mark: It was because of the hardness of their hearts.
- 2:40Mark: And that's a very important phrase.
- 2:43Mark: Because the problem wasn't with God's design for marriage, the problem was within the sinful heart of man.
- 2:50Mark: And isn't that the same thing that's behind so much of what goes wrong in our relationships?
- 2:55Mark: We become stubborn or selfish.
- 2:57Mark: We're unwilling to forgive, we're unwilling to listen, we become unwilling to admit that we're wrong.
- 3:04Mark: And sometimes one spouse hardens his or her heart against the other.
- 3:09Mark: Sometimes both do.
- 3:11Mark: Sometimes terrible sin enters a marriage that causes devastating damage.
- 3:16Mark: But what Jesus wants us to understand is that divorce was never part of God's beautiful original design for marriage.
- 3:24Mark: He says, But from the beginning it was not so.
- 3:28Mark: And that's where Jesus keeps taking us.
- 3:31Mark: You see, the Pharisees keep asking, what can we get away with?
- 3:34Mark: And Jesus keeps asking, What did God intend?
- 3:38Mark: And those are two very different questions.
- 3:41Mark: Now, there is a very important principle here that goes far beyond marriage, because sometimes we approach scripture looking for the boundary, something like, How far can I go before this becomes sin?
- 3:53Mark: Or how much can I get away with?
- 3:55Mark: Or technically, the Bible doesn't say I can't do this.
- 4:01Mark: That's not the heart of worship.
- 4:03Mark: The better question is, what does God desire?
- 4:06Mark: Instead of asking, when am I allowed to end marriage?
- 4:10Mark: Jesus wants us asking, What kind of marriage does God want me to build?
- 4:15Mark: You see, because marriage was intended to be a covenant in which a husband and a wife become one flesh and faithfully walk through life together.
- 4:23Mark: That's the ideal pattern.
- 4:26Mark: But Jesus is also speaking to people who live in a fallen world.
- 4:30Mark: And sometimes the reality is that sin brings in devastating consequences.
- 4:35Mark: Now look at verse number nine.
- 4:37Mark: And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery.
- 4:44Mark: And whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
- 4:48Mark: It appears that Jesus does give an exception here concerning that of sexual immorality.
- 4:54Mark: Now, the word translated here refers broadly to sexual sin.
- 4:58Mark: And Jesus recognizes that sexual unfaithfulness can represent such a serious violation of the marriage covenant that divorce is permitted.
- 5:08Mark: But notice here the word is divorce is permitted.
- 5:15Mark: It appears that what he's saying here is that there are circumstances where divorce may be biblically permissible.
- 5:22Mark: And again, this is an important distinction.
- 5:24Mark: There may be circumstances where genuine repentance, forgiveness, counseling, patience, and God's grace allow a marriage to survive even the most terrible of betrayals.
- 5:36Mark: But there are also circumstances where the damage done by sexual immorality results in divorce.
- 5:42Mark: But what Jesus refuses to give here is divorce for any reason.
- 5:46Mark: And that's what the Pharisees originally asked him.
- 5:50Mark: Can I divorce my wife just for any reason?
- 5:53Mark: And Jesus is essentially saying, no, marriage is far more serious than that.
- 6:00Mark: Now I understand that this can be an incredibly difficult subject, because the reality is there are probably people listening to this episode who have experienced divorce.
- 6:10Mark: Some may have been abandoned, some may have experienced adultery.
- 6:15Mark: Some may look back and realize that decisions they made years ago weren't consistent with the scriptures.
- 6:21Mark: Others may even be in second marriages today and wonder, well, what am I supposed to do with my past?
- 6:27Mark: And that's where we need both truth and grace.
- 6:30Mark: We shouldn't weaken Jesus' teaching simply because it's difficult.
- 6:34Mark: But neither should we act as though God's grace somehow stops at divorce.
- 6:39Mark: The Apostle Paul gives us a very helpful principle in 1 Corinthians 7.
- 6:43Mark: But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called everyone, so let him walk.
- 6:50Mark: Listen, friend, you cannot go backward and rewrite your history.
- 6:54Mark: If there is sin in your past, you need to confess it, receive God's forgiveness, learn from it, and then faithfully serve Christ from where you are today.
- 7:04Mark: If you're presently married, the answer to past marital failure isn't necessarily to destroy your current marriage in an attempt to repair the previous one.
- 7:13Mark: We're called to honor Christ now, to become faithful now, to love your spouse now, to obey God's word now.
- 7:22Mark: The gospel doesn't give us a time machine, it gives us forgiveness and a new way forward.
- 7:27Mark: Now there's another distinction that's very important when we're talking about marriage.
- 7:31Mark: Divorce and separation are not necessarily the same thing.
- 7:35Mark: There may be circumstances where remaining physically together becomes unsafe or untenable.
- 7:41Mark: Serious abuse, addiction, destructive behaviors, or other circumstances may require separation.
- 7:48Mark: And separation sometimes can provide protection and space for repentance, accountability, counseling, and even change.
- 7:57Mark: But we shouldn't automatically treat every separation as permission to dissolve the marriage covenant and marry someone else.
- 8:04Mark: That's why these situations require tremendous wisdom.
- 8:09Mark: This isn't the kind of subject where we should just grab one verse, apply it mechanically, and assume every situation is identical.
- 8:17Mark: Listen, if you're walking through something like this personally, you need to seek godly counsel.
- 8:23Mark: Find mature believers and trusted pastoral leadership who can help you carefully apply the scripture to the realities of your situation.
- 8:33Mark: Because Jesus isn't trying to make broken people suffer.
- 8:36Mark: He's showing us how seriously God regards the covenant of marriage.
- 8:41Mark: Apparently, Jesus' disciples thought his teaching was pretty difficult too.
- 8:46Mark: Look with me at verse number 10.
- 8:48Mark: His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
- 8:56Mark: You can almost hear them saying, Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
- 8:59Mark: If marriage is really that permanent, if we just can't walk away from it whenever things become difficult, well, maybe it would be better if we just didn't get married at all.
- 9:10Mark: And this reaction tells us something very important.
- 9:13Mark: They understood exactly what Jesus was saying.
- 9:18Mark: Marriage is not casual, it's not disposable.
- 9:22Mark: It's not something we should enter thinking, well, if this doesn't work out, I'll just try something else.
- 9:28Mark: No friend, marriage is a serious covenant.
- 9:32Mark: And maybe that's something that we need to recover in our culture.
- 9:36Mark: We spend enormous amounts of time preparing for weddings, choosing venues and flowers, picking out dresses and making sure we have just the right music, planning receptions and taking pictures, planning honeymoons, and many times we spend far less time preparing for marriage.
- 9:54Mark: A wedding lasts just a few hours, but a marriage is intended to last for an entire lifetime.
- 10:01Mark: So, yes, the disciples did have one thing right marriage should not be entered into lightly.
- 10:09Mark: And Jesus responds to them in verse number eleven.
- 10:12Mark: But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying save they to whom it is given.
- 10:18Mark: For there are some eunuchs which were so born from their mother's womb, and there are some eunuchs which were made eunuchs of men.
- 10:25Mark: And there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
- 10:30Mark: He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
- 10:35Mark: What Jesus is saying in this passage is that marriage isn't God's calling for everyone.
- 10:41Mark: And that's important for us to understand.
- 10:44Mark: Sometimes within Christian culture, we can unintentionally communicate that marriage is the ultimate destination of adulthood.
- 10:52Mark: You grow up, you get married, you have children, and then somehow you've arrived.
- 10:58Mark: But that's not at all what the scriptures teach.
- 11:01Mark: Jesus himself lived a completely fulfilled human life without ever marrying.
- 11:06Mark: The apostle Paul also lived and ministered as a single man.
- 11:09Mark: And Paul would even later explain in 1 Corinthians 7 that singleness can provide unique opportunities for serving Christ without some of the responsibilities that naturally accompany marriage.
- 11:22Mark: So listen very carefully.
- 11:24Mark: Marriage is good, but singleness can also be good.
- 11:29Mark: And the important question isn't which one makes me more valuable.
- 11:33Mark: The question is how can I faithfully serve Christ in the life that God has given me?
- 11:39Mark: And I love the phrase that Jesus uses here.
- 11:42Mark: For the kingdom of heaven's sake, that's a perspective that should shape both marriage and singleness.
- 11:49Mark: If you're married, your marriage should be for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
- 11:54Mark: You should love your spouse in a way that demonstrates Christ's love.
- 11:57Mark: Keep your promises, forgive one another, serve one another, sacrifice for one another, grow together, use your home to bless others, raise your children to know Christ.
- 12:11Mark: Let your marriage become something that God uses for his kingdom.
- 12:15Mark: But if you're single, your singleness can also be used for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
- 12:21Mark: You aren't waiting for your real life to begin.
- 12:24Mark: Your life is happening now.
- 12:26Mark: Your time belongs to God, your gifts belong to God, your opportunities belong to God, your relationships belong to God.
- 12:34Mark: So whatever season God has placed you in, the question is the same.
- 12:39Mark: How can my life be used for his kingdom?
- 12:43Mark: As we finish this passage, I think it's important that we recognize the deeper issue isn't really about divorce, it's about lordship.
- 12:52Mark: Who gets to define marriage?
- 12:55Mark: Who gets to determine when marriage begins and what marriage means?
- 12:59Mark: Who gets to decide what faithfulness looks like?
- 13:03Mark: You see, in this passage, the Pharisees came to Jesus looking for a loophole, and Jesus took them back to God.
- 13:10Mark: And that's exactly what the scriptures do for us.
- 13:13Mark: It takes our eyes away from what everybody else thinks.
- 13:16Mark: What does our culture say?
- 13:18Mark: What do I feel like doing?
- 13:20Mark: And it brings it back to what has God said?
- 13:25Mark: Friend, that's discipleship.
- 13:28Mark: Jesus isn't simply one voice among many that we consider, He is Lord.
- 13:33Mark: And because He is Lord, He has the authority over every part of our lives, including our marriages, our relationships, our sexuality, our singleness, and our future.
- 13:47Mark: Now it's possible maybe you're happily married today.
- 13:50Mark: Thank God for your spouse and don't take that relationship for granted.
- 13:56Mark: Keep investing in the covenant that God has given you.
- 14:00Mark: But maybe you're listening and your marriage is struggling.
- 14:03Mark: Don't wait until everything has fallen apart to seek help.
- 14:07Mark: Humble yourself, talk honestly, pray together, seek biblical counsel.
- 14:12Mark: Ask God to soften hearts and restore what has been damaged.
- 14:16Mark: Or maybe you've experienced divorce.
- 14:19Mark: Your past does not place you beyond the reach of God's grace.
- 14:23Mark: Where there has been sin, confess it.
- 14:26Mark: Where you've been sinned against, seek God's grace to forgive.
- 14:31Mark: And wherever God has placed you today, determine to walk faithfully with Him.
- 14:37Mark: And maybe you're listening and you're single.
- 14:40Mark: Don't treat your singleness like a waiting room.
- 14:43Mark: Ask God how this season can be lived for the kingdom of heaven's sake.
- 14:47Mark: Because ultimately, whether you're married or single, Jesus calls all of us to the same thing faithfulness.
- 14:55Mark: Faithfulness to his word, faithfulness to his calling, and faithfulness to the life that he's placed before us.
- 15:04Mark: Friend, I want to say thank you so much for joining me today for the Gospel Explorations Podcast.
- 15:10Mark: I hope you'll take some time this week to go back and read through Matthew chapter 19.
- 15:15Mark: Allow God's Word to shape the way you think about marriage, commitment, and faithfulness.
- 15:20Mark: And as always, be sure to check out the show notes for reflection and study questions that can help you continue exploring this passage throughout the week.
- 15:29Mark: I want to challenge you to keep opening God's Word, keep asking questions, and keep exploring the gospel.
- 15:36Mark: Until next time, friends, race and peace.
- 15:40Mark: Thanks for listening.
- 15:41Mark: I hope that you've been both encouraged and challenged today.
- 15:45Mark: If you want to connect with us further, please be sure to check us out on the web at gospelexplorations.com.
- 15:51Mark: We look forward to having you join us again next time.