Latest / Terri Messenger's Genius Zone / From Family Trauma to Healing the mind, body and soul

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From Family Trauma to Healing the mind, body and soul · Terri Messenger's Genius Zone

0:00
And then, hey, hang on a minute, you know, you weren't doing this
0:04
so that you could stumble, become an addict, screw up your
0:08
family, screw up your life. You're doing this for a reason.
0:11
What is that reason? And I love that awareness.
0:16
And I know that you do the transpersonal hypnotherapy and
0:22
I'd love to kind of dive into that a little bit because that
0:25
kind of moves beyond the symptom and the relief.
0:29
But can you talk us through that inner guidance and and that what
0:34
that observer consciousness and higher self looks like?
0:40
Yes. And I, I love how you just
0:42
described the subconscious as a positive.
0:45
And I feel like throughout the couple centuries, psychologist
0:50
or psychiatry, it was all pathology like what's wrong with
0:54
you? And I was a little disillusioned
0:58
when I studied psychology undergraduate.
1:01
I went later worked in cancer care and learned hypnotherapy
1:07
kind of for symptom relief, which is valid and good.
1:10
But transpersonal hypnotherapy is what I first trained in.
1:16
And it sees the person sees the person and, and the mind as
1:21
bigger than just day-to-day life.
1:23
So it, it's your emotions, it's your, it's your physical body,
1:29
it's your intellect and mental self.
1:32
And then whatever your spiritual beliefs, it's, it's your soul.
1:36
It's it's your big. My name is Terry Beth Punjab and
1:40
I am hey, hey, hey, and welcome, welcome to Terry Messenger's
1:49
Genius Zone. And you know, this is the place
1:54
in the space where you are going to get your own free master
2:00
class. Absolutely free.
2:35
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
2:44
Why do you exist? Do you matter?
2:50
Are you loved? Does your life mean anything to
2:56
this world? What is your why?
3:02
What is your life purpose? Are you ready to turn your life
3:10
around, know your mission and get crystal clear clarity over
3:20
what you were born to do? The good news is I have the key
3:28
to your success. Hey, hey, hey.
3:42
Well, what a way to enter 2026 and hands up, if you're with me
3:51
about putting 2025 in the past and just embracing your greatest
3:57
power. Well, if you want to embrace
3:58
your greatest power in this show, as you know, we bring
4:03
masterful legendary coaches, healers, and leaders on board so
4:09
they can bring the greatest value to you for free in the
4:15
comfort of your own living room. And in this episode, this is
4:20
going to be a game changer for families.
4:25
So did you know that as a parent, sometimes there can be
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so much problem with your children?
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There can be so many issues that are happening in the family
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dynamics. And as I bring this beautiful
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clinical hypnotherapist on board, she is going to really
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bring her authority and she is going to showcase as a clinical
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hypnotherapist and occupational therapist how she has bridged
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science, the nervous system, regulation and spirituality.
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You're also going to get something really powerful that,
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you know, if you went to a counselor or you went to a
5:12
hypnotherapist, you would pay hundreds of dollars and it's
5:15
going to be in your living room for free.
5:18
So with no further ado, so I bring you the beautiful Kelly
5:22
Stewart. Hello, Kelly, How are you?
5:24
Great Terry. So excited to be here.
5:27
Yes, and so am I. So where are you?
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Whereabouts are you in as well? I am north of Boston, MA in the
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United States. I'm I'm working out of a
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Wellness Center right on a lake in the suburbs not far from
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Boston. Wow, that is just so, so good.
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And I guess you've seen it all as you sort of work through with
5:51
families and the dynamics of what happens, you know, in
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families and you know, those with neurodivergent children.
6:02
Now, neurodivergency seems to be a really big buzzword at the
6:07
moment. And a lot of families, I was
6:10
actually speaking to a very, very close relative who was
6:15
talking about how the family is really shattered because of, you
6:23
know, the element of what's going on in their child's life.
6:28
And you talk about healing the parent first.
6:31
Can you just, you know, enlarge on that?
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Why is that so important? I know, I know myself first
6:38
hand, but I want to hear from you.
6:40
Why is that so critical? Yeah, I, I really enjoy working
6:47
with with adults who want to be parents in the future or are
6:53
already parents and they want to clean out their stuff their
6:58
their own childhood traumas so that they can show up more fully
7:02
for their own children if they decide to have children.
7:06
But I I also enjoy working with children and teens.
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My background as an occupational therapist, I've worked with all
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sorts of different ages and life stages from young children to
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teenagers, 20 year olds and adults.
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So the parent is the the one that signals to the child what's
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normal, what what's safe, what's expected.
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So often times I see teenagers or younger, younger children and
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I always encourage the parent to to explore hypnotherapy with me
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just to learn some tools for their own nervous system down
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regulation. If there's there is anxiety or
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anger or maybe there's depression and they need some
7:54
more help, which I'm always an advocate to collaborate with
7:59
their therapists or encourage them to seek more longer term
8:04
mental health support for them because it's in in isolation to
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the the system, the family. Oh absolutely.
8:15
Yeah, 100%. It's, it's interesting that it's
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almost like sometimes our children can reflect back to us
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energetically what is going on in our own lives now.
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You know all about timeline therapy, you understand about
8:34
the transformation going into releasing trauma and you know,
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obviously dealing with these. And I happen to know myself that
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I had a couple that came into the clinic one day and they had
8:51
a drug addicted teenager. But what was actually happening
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is they were enabling it. So they didn't realize that they
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loved them and they just wanted to do what they thought was
9:05
best. But it's interesting when they
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realized they were enabling their behaviour.
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And also because of the work that you do.
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And obviously I do the same work where we can go back and track
9:22
on the timeline about what imprints and what DNA trauma
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bonds are relative. So can you talk to me about the
9:35
trauma bonds and you know what it means to actually be able to
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track back and and release those trauma bonds from ancestral
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lineage that quite often are acting out in their present
9:50
lives today? Sure, I might start with the
9:55
idea that ancestral sometimes sounds big and lofty and hard to
10:00
access, but it's your own, your own parents, your own
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grandparents, your great grandparents.
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And you and I both do a certain type of timeline technique.
10:13
I have training and advanced regression techniques through
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Paula Ronde. He's a transpersonal master
10:21
hypnotherapist in New York City, and he's also affiliated with
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the Michael Newton Institute for Life Between Lives, which is
10:32
quite spiritual and powerful. But going back to just the
10:36
basics, I'll share my own story. I grew up in a very creative,
10:41
sensitive family. I was the oldest and still am of
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four children, and my parents are very sensitive, creative,
10:50
loving people. And then there was several
10:55
deaths in the family when I was a teenager, all within maybe 2
10:59
years. My grandmother died unexpectedly
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in her sleep the night before my grandparents day.
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So she didn't show up to my school.
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And I just recently processed that, actually.
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And then there was other deaths very close in line.
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And uncle died in 9/11. Very sad.
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And then my dad's sister died of cancer pretty young and it was
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boom, boom boom. And so that's an example of a
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Trump bond. And I think the tools that my my
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family had weren't always the healthiest.
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We were very social family, a lot of drinking and smoking as I
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got older. And that was a habit I had after
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high school and college. So but recently I did my own
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regression with one of my colleagues just a week or two
11:49
ago. This is how powerful it is.
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And my grandmother showed up and that the grief my mother
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couldn't process at that time, I was holding perhaps something.
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And it was very profound just a couple weeks ago, going into
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trance and being regressed or guided back in time.
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So that was powerful. And I feel lighter.
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And I don't know if it will help my mom too.
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You know, these things are energetic.
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So I should, maybe she will shift her.
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She'll do her own work through her own valities.
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It was a tough time in it, we didn't know how to process it
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then and and that was part of the reason I stumbled upon
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hypnotherapy. That's that's just, that's so,
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so powerful. And look, I hear you about
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people turning to drugs and alcohol as they go to, not
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because they want to F their life up, but because they're
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really wanting to numb the pain and they simply don't have
12:56
resources. And, you know, I guess the
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parents, my husband had this little saying that the parents
13:05
dysfunction is the child's normal.
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So it's very interesting when you grow up and you may see how
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alcohol is the kind of normal thing to do.
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And then of course, you know, when we're engaging in that, we
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we become, when it becomes power over us, that's when it's a
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problem. And I don't know about you,
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Kelly, but as a hypnotherapist, anything that becomes a power
13:38
over our own lives is where we need to completely stop and, you
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know, just make a change to what's going on.
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And look, you know, obviously your story is very powerful.
13:56
And, you know, this is where the genius zone is all about
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transmuting pain to power. And, you know, so you've been
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able to change your life through the, you know, all of the how
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many years? I think it's 17 years.
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Yep, about seven since 2009. So this coming fall will be 17
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years when I was trained and I just soaked it all in.
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I loved it and I it's I keep learning all the time.
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We must be need soul sisters. Like you know, I was doing the
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same thing. In fact, I, I started out with
14:36
the neuro linguistic programming and I'm going to talk to you
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about the timeline therapy after and you're going to showcase
14:44
something very, very powerful that's going to really help
14:48
people to regulate their nervous system.
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So you want to stay to the end because the best.
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When you just brought up that idea of power over the, the
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simple strategy that I'll be showing at the end is so simple,
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but really, really helpful to take your power back and to
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regain a sense of calm, calm Center for yourself.
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Grandedness, I love that and if we can teach our children that.
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And I think to the the people out there to be aware that you
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know what's happening in the family dynamics.
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You know, when you bring that awareness that you know
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everything is happening for a purpose and it's about learning
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and understanding what the purpose is.
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So obviously you wore a big burden.
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Like you sounded like you were kind of like that person who
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almost shouldered the grief that your family went through and you
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had to stand in your leadership in a way.
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But then, of course, your humanness sort of turned over
15:59
to, to to alcohol. And did you say you became
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addicted to both alcohol and drugs or?
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I would say it was the binge drinking and like college years
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before and after college and kind of the, the wanting to numb
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or black out and just not deal with life.
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And my hypnotherapist teacher, my how I learned it all kind of
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helped me not judge. There's so much shame and self
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judgement attached to it. And she's like, you just like to
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check out. And I think finding hypnotherapy
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was like an alternative because you can get a break from, from
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the external stressors when you use self hypnosis or
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hypnotherapy sessions. So it was a nice shift.
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And then the cigarettes was like almost a dopamine like a reward.
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I would give myself in in high school a 17161718 after I
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finished my homework. So it was or while driving and
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then I would try to stop in college, I, I was an athlete.
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So I was a little bit conflicted, but the, the
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addiction was so strong, but it was hypnotherapy was really
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powerful and releasing that, that connection.
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I thought I had the cigarettes. I thought I needed it for some
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reason. And, and I know there's other
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people that maybe have a longer term at mine was seven years of
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using cigarettes, but everybody's unique and you need
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to find out what your connection is to them and then honor it and
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unravel it a little bit and release it.
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I love that. Honor it, unravel it and release
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it. That is so powerful.
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In fact, you took the words out of my mouth because you know,
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what I was going to say is it's interesting that a lot of people
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beat themselves up for what they're doing wrong in life.
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They're self sabotaging, they're not achieving their goals.
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They got getting caught up in those patterns.
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And yet, you know, what we're taught as hypnotherapists is to
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actually honour our subconscious mind and understand that, hey,
18:24
hang on a minute. You know, you weren't doing this
18:28
so that she could stumble, become an addict, screw up your
18:32
family, screw up your life. You're doing this for a reason.
18:35
What is that reason? And I love that awareness.
18:40
And I know that you do the transpersonal hypnotherapy and
18:46
I'd love to kind of dive into that a little bit because that
18:49
kind of moves beyond the symptom and the relief.
18:53
But can you talk us through that inner guidance and and that what
18:58
that observer consciousness and higher self looks like?
19:03
Yes, and I, I love how you just described the subconscious as a
19:08
positive. And I feel like throughout the
19:11
last couple centuries, psychologists or psychiatry, it
19:15
was all pathology like what's wrong with you?
19:19
And I was a little disillusioned when I studied psychology
19:24
undergraduate. I went later worked in cancer
19:28
care and learned hypnotherapy kind of for symptom relief,
19:32
which is valid and good. But transpersonal hypnotherapy
19:39
is what I first trained in. And it sees the person and, and
19:43
the mind as bigger than just day-to-day life.
19:47
So it, it's your emotions, it's your, it's your physical body,
19:53
it's your intellect and mental self.
19:55
And then whatever your spiritual beliefs, it's, it's your soul,
20:00
it's, it's your bigger, bigger picture self.
20:03
So we learned ways this is back in 2009 to befriend the parts.
20:09
And a lot of psychologists and social workers do the same
20:13
positive type of psychology or very beautiful tools that they
20:18
have as well. But I was just felt I fell in
20:22
love with Hypnothera because it's very positive and creative
20:26
and. Visualizing or sensing these
20:30
aspects of yourself, your inner child, your emotional part.
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Mine looked like a wolf in a cage when I was 23.
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I didn't express myself growing up in a home that was, you know,
20:43
loving and fun. But there was something not
20:46
quite right with emotional processing.
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So that was an eye opener when I first took that training.
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So I love doing self exploration sessions with people.
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Yeah. So they could just be pauses so
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that the person has time in their subconscious to to gain
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wisdom and insights. Yeah.
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So for the person out there that really doesn't have a clue about
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hypnosis, self hypnosis, and obviously you have, you know,
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studied this, practice this for many years.
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And we know that the reason it works is because we are getting
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underneath not just the logical, because the most people know at
21:33
a logical level this needs to change.
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I want to be a better parent or, or I want to raise better
21:41
children or I want to be able to have this life that is more
21:46
fulfilled. It's not about their logic
21:49
because people generally understand that.
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It's the deeper part of that, you know, subconscious mind.
21:57
So I'm interested just out of curiosity because I obviously
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have learned hypnotherapy the traditional way and it is
22:08
through closed eye. It's about you know, allowing
22:13
that person to become one with themself.
22:16
Do you use the closed eye and do you do the Tran state so that
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they are in that very, I guess that do they call it alpha Theta
22:30
mindset where their mind begins to be open and curious to those
22:37
changes. So, you know, talk me through
22:41
the, the, the trans personal hypnotherapy and tell me about,
22:48
you know, what that looks like when you are putting a person
22:52
into trans. Like what are some of the the
22:55
key strategies that you're using to do that?
23:00
I do use closed die trance states.
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I dim the lights and put on quiet music usually.
23:09
And it's the layers of consciousness our our conscious
23:16
analytical mind is vigilant and trying to see our environment or
23:21
understand the problems or things to anticipate.
23:24
And that's not what hypnosis uses.
23:27
So it's reassuring that part of the mind that they can trust the
23:32
practitioner, they understand they're learning a skill set,
23:37
and that their mind is naturally wired to go into trance states
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like Daydream states or highway hypnosis, or art, artistic
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endeavors, even sports and music.
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It's kind of an altered state of flow.
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So I really try to normalize the positive and natural benefits of
23:58
hypnosis. But then you're right, Terry,
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it's, it's to me, I've been using the phrase expanded
24:05
consciousness because the mental mind or the conscious mind might
24:09
be encouraged to just sit down or lie down and rest and
24:13
observe. But then it's using like the,
24:15
the tip of the iceberg, it's using all parts of you, your,
24:20
your, your heart, your emotions, your, your voice, what you want
24:24
to say day-to-day, What do you stand for?
24:26
And then your body and our body is amazing.
24:29
It holds so much. So I use the technique called
24:33
Body Wisdom techniques. It's trademarked by Paul Oron,
24:39
who's been a teacher of mine. And that's fascinating.
24:43
That's following an emotion or a sensation in the body back to
24:46
its source or previous experiences with it.
24:51
And it's this fall. I had two women in the same
24:54
month, they both stopped biting their nails just by going back
25:00
to like when they were ten or five and they were stressed or
25:03
they were thinking about school and high school.
25:07
So we went back and and it the neuroplasticity.
25:10
Now we both have normal nails and they don't bite their nails
25:14
anymore. So that was just a refreshing
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reminder of me this fall of how powerful these tools are.
25:22
That is amazing. That's so, so good.
25:25
And I, I believe it's really key for people to know that hypnosis
25:31
is not about anyone taking control of your mind.
25:36
It's actually about you taking control of your own mind.
25:39
So when you get a person such as Kelly who is highly proficient
25:46
and specializes in the subconscious mind, what you can
25:50
expect is really about the element of being able to
25:56
identify what the dynamic is that's happening in your life,
26:01
in the family. You know, what are the family
26:05
dynamics? Because sometimes, you know,
26:07
relationships can break down because there's, you know,
26:11
unresolved issues. Children can go off the Richter
26:17
scale because there is, you know, unresolved trauma bonds
26:23
that are tied and linked into that.
26:27
So, you know, it's really about bypassing that critical mindset.
26:33
But do you find that once you do actually deal with the parents
26:37
first that that kind of then changes?
26:41
Do do you notice that? Because I've noticed that
26:44
myself, you change the parents and even before the children or
26:50
the next dynamic comes along, there's something energetic that
26:53
that shifted. Have you found that?
26:56
Yeah, and even in my own life with my two young daughters,
27:00
when when I get help or work on myself, it affects them
27:04
positively. And I do think it can go both
27:07
ways because sometimes I don't work with the parents.
27:11
I wouldn't force it on them, but I do encourage it.
27:17
But, or sometimes I've done small groups with the mother and
27:20
two adult children on habits around spending and money, and
27:25
that's pretty magical and beautiful to have the whole
27:28
family in the room together. But they're all on their own
27:32
path. I'm not, you know, comparing
27:35
them. They're each individuals and
27:38
they'll receive, they'll, they'll make sense.
27:42
The sessions encourage at least three sessions on a goal.
27:47
So that's a package, but it is really beautiful to see the
27:52
dynamics shift within a family. And I do think it can go either
27:56
way. I, I the research shows that
28:00
parents who get help with, for example, if the child is a lot
28:04
of anxiety or a toddler has big motions and tantrums, working on
28:10
the child often doesn't do much. It's the research shows if
28:15
parents take training on anxiety met and or understanding
28:21
communication. So that's a whole nother field.
28:24
But I do think we look at the child and maybe it's actually he
28:28
comes further up, it's from further back.
28:32
Yes, that's, that's powerful. So, so you, you feel that, you
28:38
know, it's, it's really understanding what's going on
28:41
with the child. So if the child is perhaps, you
28:45
know, there's a lot of neurodivergence.
28:47
And I think that's a bit of a buzzword.
28:49
It's become so popular, it makes you wonder whether there is
28:52
something in the water that's actually causing it.
28:56
There's so much of it and it can be very debilitating if it's,
29:04
you know, if they're not understood because you know, I'm
29:08
neurodivergent, you know, and besides ADH, but it's really
29:13
about understanding and embracing who you are.
29:17
I mean, Elon Musk is neurodivergent and I don't know
29:22
about you, Kelly, but I feel that, you know, number one is to
29:27
to really understand that sometimes the behaviour of the
29:31
child is nobody's, as I said before, no one's ever
29:36
deliberately trying to sabotage. So there's always that higher
29:41
purpose and it's almost like asking the person to own where
29:48
they're at. And you know, what have have you
29:52
seen? What kinds of things have you
29:53
seen with a child that perhaps is neurodivergent, where it's
30:00
creating all sorts of chaos in the family?
30:04
And, you know, did you find like as an example that actually, you
30:09
know, we discovered the mother had an ancestral lineage where
30:15
there was a trauma back here? You know, do you have a story
30:21
like that where it was relative to that?
30:24
I mean, I know, for example, just, you know, as you're being
30:29
prompted to, to find that story, I know that I had a lot of guilt
30:33
and shame, for example, and I grew up with a lot of guilt and
30:38
shame. And I didn't know why that was
30:40
the case. And I've told this on a podcast
30:43
previously. However, when I was doing my
30:47
master's, we went back on the timeline.
30:51
So what had happened was I went back and of course the the
30:55
subconscious guides you back to, you know, a very significant
31:01
time, usually an initiative element that causes the problem.
31:06
And I was actually a 15 year old teenage girl and I felt very
31:11
lonely. And I was on a train and it was
31:15
as if I was in the country, but I was transitioning to living
31:21
somewhere different. And I just remember feeling a
31:25
sense of darkness, loneliness, shame.
31:29
And, you know, after the session when we came back because, you
31:32
know, timeline therapy, you know, sometimes you can do it
31:35
closed eyes, Other times you can walk through it physically.
31:40
And I went home that night and I said to my mother, by any
31:46
chance, because I knew that my grandma was obviously unwed when
31:52
she had my mother. And she was only a teenager.
31:55
And it was a lot of shame back then.
31:58
I said, by any chance do you think man would have been on a
32:02
train? And mum said yes, because in the
32:05
country she had to leave. And so I had actually gone into
32:11
the experience of my grandmother as a teenager and I picked that
32:17
up through the timeline. But because we were able to
32:21
trace where the trauma was, the guilt and the shame, that was
32:27
huge. But did I guess you can relate
32:30
to that? Yeah, maybe in my own, my own
32:33
experiences. That being said, when I work
32:37
with kids and teens, I don't, I keep things more grounded.
32:41
I wouldn't do timeline therapy with or or regression with kids.
32:46
Although there's this late teenager I'm working with.
32:49
He he's a twin and they were taken kind of prematurely out of
32:54
the womb. So that isn't as did an
32:59
ancestry, but that being said, I would say stories and metaphors
33:07
that come up from regression back to the source.
33:11
It may be the 1800s or the early 1900s.
33:16
I've had cases or my own experiences in my sessions for
33:21
me and it just puts things into perspective on maybe I'm
33:27
carrying around a residue from my subconscious or my deeper
33:31
self from from my family history a couple generations ago.
33:37
And I guess I, I wouldn't share somebody else's story, but my
33:46
story, there was a sense, my brother and I, and I wouldn't
33:53
push this on him, but for me, and he might be open to this.
33:57
He and I were on a boat together on the coast of maybe Scotland
34:02
or England. This is all in my mind.
34:06
I didn't know it was him. It was me as another being two
34:10
men on a boat and fishing on a little boat and a storm came up
34:15
and then he fell over. We got capsized.
34:18
I couldn't save him. So that was very difficult.
34:21
I moved through significant points in that life.
34:25
I don't know if it was ancestral or my soul's past life or just a
34:30
metaphor, but it was a metaphor that I couldn't save him then
34:34
and I will, I'll share this. And I couldn't save him now.
34:38
He's doing very well. But 17 years ago and over the
34:42
years, he struggled with some serious drug use issues, drug
34:46
addiction. So that was just a game changer.
34:49
I felt a weight lifted from me. So it could be siblings.
34:52
It doesn't have to be child to parent, but I feel that families
34:57
are really rich with dynamics. And that session really the the,
35:04
the addiction was like the storm.
35:06
I couldn't, I had no control over the storm.
35:08
I don't have control over the suffering he's having in this
35:12
lifetime. But I can detach and love.
35:15
So that I think planted a seed in me that I wanted to learn how
35:19
to do that because that single session helped me.
35:24
And I hadn't been in therapy and I went to Al Anon, which is, I
35:28
don't know if it's in Australia, but I, yeah, I'm passionate.
35:32
Whether it's addictions or anxiety or mental health, I I
35:37
see so much need in families and we need creative solutions.
35:43
Yeah, that's 100% and what a absolute gift that you are for
35:49
so many families. And you know, we're talking if
35:54
there is a family out there and they're dealing with high stress
36:00
trauma and you know that people's, you know, ideas and
36:05
their value systems come from a lot of their beliefs.
36:09
So whether that's the scarcity mindset in their finances and at
36:15
being able to track that back to where the core belief was.
36:20
I mean, I, they was very, very fortunate growing up in terms
36:25
of, you know, wanting for nothing.
36:29
So my parents provided extremely well and you know, they had
36:34
their own real estate business, etcetera.
36:37
But what I did get was a part of the scarcity mentality that
36:45
comes from my father's ancestral background because he was born
36:49
in a third world country. So even though he was wealthy, I
36:55
was still acting out of the DNA of that scarcity and that
37:02
poverty mindset. So, you know, you talked about
37:06
how you help people through that.
37:09
What are some of the things do you use the timeline technique
37:14
to help people with their scarcity?
37:17
Because I'm sure that everybody would want to be abundant, you
37:19
know? Yeah, I think that might be more
37:23
to explore in 2026 because I typically don't see people for
37:30
that goal scarcity and and financial.
37:33
I had that one family. But I I think that's a beautiful
37:37
use of timeline to to go back and then imagine energetically
37:41
or reframing that fear of losing resources or not good enough or
37:49
guilt around money, shame, whatever it might be.
37:52
Or I did do one with a man who's quite a established psychic and
37:59
channel himself or maybe not channel, but when I guided him
38:03
it, he became a channel, which is when you just get access to
38:07
really higher level information. So my sessions that when I do a
38:12
deeper dive, the person talks to me with their eyes closed and
38:17
I'm sometimes eyes closed and I have a special microphone that
38:20
records both of us. So he he had some sense that
38:25
past lives were very easy and, and privileged, that there was a
38:32
bit of complacency or in this life having gone through that.
38:36
But that was hit like each person's timeline is so unique.
38:41
So that was one time it did come up.
38:43
But I think abundance world has such scarcity mindset.
38:47
But look what a beautiful world we have and communities and do
38:53
better than they are. You know, I see a lot of
38:55
struggling, but when people come together and they're positive,
39:00
you can, you know, grow things and create things.
39:03
So I think you have a good idea. They're going back in time to
39:09
release the Scare City wound. Much of that, but I've done,
39:15
I've done it for myself. Amazing, amazing.
39:20
But maybe the little, little strategies we could shift to
39:25
which they're very simple but easy to use.
39:29
And some people have even used it, for example, in childbirth
39:32
or during a dental procedure. So there's some practical
39:35
applications, but then they're also able to just shift to your
39:41
deeper mind, to your subconscious mind and body
39:45
wisdom. Right.
39:48
Well, I, I love that. I absolutely love that.
39:51
And what I'd like to do now is bring forward the strategy that
39:56
we have promised our audience. And I guess it's around, you
40:01
know, really regulating the nervous system.
40:04
And, you know, you talk a little bit about, you know, a unique
40:09
form of not rapid eye movement, but a different form to help in
40:15
stressful situations. So.
40:17
So can I hand over to Yuri so you can walk us through that
40:23
beautiful strategy? And it takes all but about 1015
40:29
seconds to do the simple eye movement.
40:33
I'll end it with another minute or two.
40:37
Just some good old relaxation. But often people find the
40:43
strategy helpful at night if you're trying to unwind or don't
40:50
do it while driving or or doing something that you need to focus
40:54
on, but as a reset during your day.
40:57
And it uses your eyes. So our eyes are an extension of
41:01
our nervous system tissue. They're part of our our brain
41:05
actually. And we were talking earlier,
41:08
Terry, about since the beginning of time, people gaze at fires,
41:15
they gaze up at the stars. So there is something
41:18
mesmerizing about how we use our eyes and Hwy. hypnosis, walking,
41:23
running, that peripheral vision is just flowing.
41:28
And that can be relaxing for people.
41:30
So, so our eyes are very important.
41:33
So use this trick and I will teach it to you.
41:36
Now make sure you're not driving because it requires you to close
41:39
your eyes, stop and pull over if if you are driving or just
41:44
listen for future reference and I'll do it as well.
41:47
So if you can find a spot across from you and an upward gaze can
41:54
be helpful, perhaps where the wall meets the ceiling or just
41:57
slightly across and up. And as you stare, take a nice
42:02
big breath in with your and then breathe out.
42:07
Close your eyes and then do two more at your own rhythm.
42:11
So breathe in, open your eyes, look for the spot, breathe out,
42:16
close your eyes, maybe your chin tucks, your shoulders soften one
42:20
more time, breathe in, open, breathe out, close, and then the
42:25
eyes sometimes float Open one more time, but for another
42:29
minute or two. Just give yourself the
42:32
opportunity to close your eyes. I've learned that even just
42:37
closing our eyes for a little bit of time can get us out of
42:41
beta brain waves, which are busier, active, conscious and
42:46
analytical mind. Then we're dipping into alpha.
42:51
So eyes are closed and just take a few slow, long letting go
42:58
breaths, dropping your shoulders.
43:02
Share one final rush using just five parts of your body.
43:11
So when you take a big breath in, feel, relax through your
43:17
face, back, belly, legs, feet and breathe in again.
43:24
Face, back, belly, legs, feet on the exhale.
43:29
And then one more time, breathe in.
43:32
Breathe out through the face, back, belly, legs. 8 And then
43:41
when you're ready, just allowing your eyes to open, wiggling your
43:46
fingers, shifting back and forth and knowing that that first part
43:52
with the opening, with the inhale, closing with the exhale
43:56
about three times. It's like rubbing the belly and
43:59
patting the head. It gives your conscious mind a
44:02
task to do so that you breathe in as you open.
44:07
And there's a lot of different strategies out there, but over
44:11
the 16 or 17 years it could have organically happened.
44:15
And I do find it's the more you do it, it becomes helpful.
44:21
That is, that's beautiful. So just to bring a little bit of
44:24
conscious competency around that, you were really asking us
44:31
to take a deep breath and we were opening our eyes and then
44:37
closing the eyes. And I guess if I'm sort of
44:41
assessing it, the way that that would work is that you are
44:45
eliciting a state of presence in the person.
44:49
And it's where they're almost, their brain is moving into this
44:55
phase of, well, I'm opening my eyes and they're feeling that
45:00
process and closing my eyes and then I'm breathing and process
45:06
in itself is taking them away from all of the busyness and the
45:11
stress and the the trauma of life.
45:14
And I, I don't know about anybody out there that may have
45:18
just practiced that. But if you go back and you do
45:22
that with Kelly, what you're going to find is that your
45:27
nervous system is going to be so much more relaxed.
45:33
And you know that that is just so important.
45:37
I I think parents could even travel along with young children
45:43
and teach them to do that My. Five year old does that
45:46
independently now the three-year old's a bit still too young, but
45:51
how simple and it it's training her very active.
45:54
She's a very busy little girl, so it's really beautiful to see
45:58
that one worked well for for for younger people.
46:02
I've done other ones at the back of the not as effective for
46:06
really little kids. But if we can have those types
46:09
of strategies or on every recording when I meet someone, I
46:15
do high quality audio recordings.
46:17
Those sessions would just be me talking.
46:21
It's I'm not going to have them share their subconscious with
46:25
me. So most of my feel good sessions
46:28
for goals related to behaviors and stress, It's just a standard
46:33
hypnotherapy, but I, I start with that so that then when they
46:38
listen at home, it becomes almost like a conditioned
46:42
response, but in a good way. They're, they're learning to do
46:44
it themselves. So I do find doesn't.
46:49
I don't do it on every session, but I like to start in the first
46:52
session so that they have a tool right away.
46:55
That's so good and I and I believe what a gift it is to be
46:59
able to impart a tool like that that can be a real game changer.
47:07
So guys, if you have listed into this, may I say that this woman
47:13
is absolutely incredible. In fact, I feel that there has
47:17
been an element where Kelly has really wanted to protect her,
47:23
you know, the confidentiality of her client.
47:26
So you've heard her stories, but you know, this is all about how
47:31
you as a parent, parents can make a change to your child even
47:35
when you feel that it may be your child that is the problem.
47:40
So what you've heard Kelly talk about today is that quite often
47:45
it starts with you. And also she covered how trauma
47:49
bonds and ancestral patterns and scarcity mindsets is actually
47:55
passed down. That was mindsets, by the way,
47:58
not mindsets, but how that is passed down and of course
48:04
regulating your nervous system. So that 10 second little
48:10
technique that she has just gifted you with can be the, you
48:16
know, difference between having a riled up child or even
48:20
yourself being anxious or, you know, stressed out and then just
48:26
being able to change. So you know, what I would say to
48:30
you is Kelly's got a lot of resources.
48:33
I'd like you to go to the show notes and stand by for our last
48:38
little piece of a gold nugget. So this is a question I love to
48:43
ask all my people because it's almost like you come on the show
48:48
and you really speak about the things that you, you know,
48:53
you've obviously spoken about. Then you get off the broadcast,
48:56
you go, oh, I would have loved to share that.
49:01
So if there is perhaps something that you feel that's on your
49:06
heart, that's on your mind where you feel that, you know what?
49:11
I would have loved to have shared that.
49:13
I feel like that's really important.
49:16
What would that be, Kelly? I would like to share that I
49:23
also, I, I, I resonate with the, the words empath and highly
49:29
sensitive person. And I've run two book clubs in
49:33
2025 on their therapeutic book clubs where they're paying
49:37
clients in a small group. And we both of them, we read,
49:44
there were two cohorts, two different groups.
49:46
We read a beautiful book called Boundaries and Protection by
49:49
Pixie Lighthorse, who that's her pen name, but it's to honor her
49:55
ancestors. And in the United States, the
49:59
native, her dad's side had native Chuck Tau.
50:04
So I just, I love everybody's story.
50:06
And I think reading a book together with other sensitive
50:08
souls can be really nice. And the book was very practical.
50:12
And I'm, this is a kind of out in left field part of me.
50:16
I, I think Sinead O'Connor from Ireland, who passed away a
50:19
couple years ago. You know, there's controversy
50:22
there, but I think she was a true empath and she could see
50:26
the pain in the world and, and express it.
50:30
And she had sometimes a struggle in her life.
50:33
But there's I am thinking about doing an, A, a book club on her
50:38
autobiography, which I did read last year, because I know
50:41
there's a lot of Sinead O'Connor fans out there and they're
50:44
they're still mourning her death because she passed a few years
50:48
ago. So that's on my mind maybe for
50:50
the fall and to have us all read that book.
50:53
If you are curious to hear her own words about.
50:58
Well, look, I will drop these in the show notes.
51:02
Guys, get in contact with this beautiful lady.
51:05
Kelly, I just want to say what an absolute gift, pleasure and
51:10
honor it has been to have you on the show.
51:13
Thank you Terry for having me. You're welcome.
51:17
A show where we have explored through this various topic,
51:23
along with all the exciting new topics that we bring every week
51:29
to enhance your personal mastery of excellence.
51:34
Now, I'd love you to do me a favour, In fact be part of the
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Legacy 1,000,000 that I have in the vision for 2028.
51:46
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So let's do that legacy thing. Let's share, let's care, let's
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you another week of the most enriching content.
52:23
So until next time, stay inspired, stay awesome, and keep
52:29
on mastering your excellence.