Latest / The Becket Cook Show / "I Hated God" Former Lesbian Encounters Christ: Tia Arshad Testimony

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"I Hated God" Former Lesbian Encounters Christ: Tia Arshad Testimony · The Becket Cook Show

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Life Audio.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: You are listening to The Becket Cook Show with your
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: host Beckett Cook. For more information about Beckett and his ministry,
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: visit his website at Becketcook dot com. To help support
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  Speaker 2: Please consider subscribing to the podcast and leaving a five
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  Speaker 2: star rating.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to the show today. I have a
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: very special guest, Tia Arshad, and she has an amazing
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: story of God rescuing her out of a life of lesbianism.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: And she was born in Libya, she was raised in
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Pakistan and she moved to the UK when she was thirteen.
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  Speaker 1: I'm excited to hear her story. It's remarkable. First award
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: from our sponsor. Please welcome Tia our shop.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Becket, so good to have you on.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I am excited to hear your story. You are in England,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: You're in the UK right now. It's very late for you,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I think, so.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: Let's start about eight pm.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: It's apm okay, So let's start with your childhood. You
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: were born in Libya and were you born into what?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Were you born into a Muslim family or a Christian family?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: What was the deal?
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  Speaker 3: Well, my grandfather and his family they were Muslims, so
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: before I was born there they converted. So I was
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  Speaker 3: born into a Christian family.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Wow, okay, and so and then why did you move
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: from Libya to Pakistan?
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  Speaker 3: Well, I my mom was very sick and I was
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: quite young, and I had a younger sister, so my
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: my mom was not able to take care of me
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: and my sister. So my father and my mother decided
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: to take me to Pakistan where they will put me
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: in a boarding school and you know, I'll be taken
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: care of. So without my consent, as I was very young,
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: I was overnight kind of moved to Pakistan and I
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: just woke up in a dormitory with other kids, other girls.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: So I still never asked my father completely about what,
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: why and how did they choose just to you know,
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: leave me in a new country?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Wow? And did you did you like Pakistan or was
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: it like bizarre for you? What was it like? Are
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: you in Karachi?
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: I was in actually Murray, which is just past Islamabad.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: There was a it was a big boarding school of
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: different ages, predominantly a Christian boarding school. So it was
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: scary because when I woke up, I had no parents,
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: my sister wasn't there. I didn't know who to ask questions.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't know what happened. But I had some kind
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: teachers and the principal was really nice, so they were
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: trying to kind of, you know, ease me into it,
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: and I just never asked anything from anyone. And my
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: grandparents they lived about I think about seven hours away
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: from that place, so the parents were only allowed to
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: visit you probably once a month. So I only had
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: that kind of a privilege where my grandparents, like especially
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: my grandma and my uncle would come and see me
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: once a month.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: And you said that your mother died when you were
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: nine years old. How did she die? If you don't
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: mind me asking, Yeah.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I'm sure she as far as I remember my dad
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: telling me that she had only one kidney, and she
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: never told anybody that she had one kidney. I think
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: before she got married she had one, and then the
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: second kidney started to fail. So it was very difficult
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: for my mom to work take care of both of us.
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  Speaker 3: My father was in a different city in Libya, so
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  Speaker 3: he wasn't there full time to take care of us,
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  Speaker 3: so my mom had to kind of take all that
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  Speaker 3: pressure and when the second kidney was, you know, beginning
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: to deteriorate, that's when they decided that they will take
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: that action and leave me.
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  Speaker 1: Obviously, that experience affected you very dramatically.
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  Speaker 3: Right, absolutely. Yeah. I mean it's only recently that I'm
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: beginning to realize the impact it had on me as
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  Speaker 3: a child when I grew up, some of the attachment
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  Speaker 3: issues I had, some of the traumas I experienced of
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: just feeling rejected and just feeling abandoned really because it
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: was all of a sudden. You know, they didn't prepare
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  Speaker 3: me for it, and even if they probably did, I wasn't.
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  Speaker 3: I was very young to understand all of this.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, and so okay, then you experienced sexual and physical
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  Speaker 1: abuse by a close family member. How old were you
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  Speaker 1: when this happened?
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  Speaker 3: So I was about eight nine years old, similar time
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  Speaker 3: to when my mom passed away. She came to visit
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  Speaker 3: me from Libya, and that was the second time I
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  Speaker 3: saw her after I came to Pakistan, after they dropped
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: me to the boarding school, and the second time when
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: she came, I realized that she wasn't walking anymore, and
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: you know, they were helping her to move her on
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: the bed and that same night she went into Cooma
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: and she never woke up. And it was around that
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: time when I think, just maybe five six months later
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  Speaker 3: than that, when one of my uncles started to do
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  Speaker 3: things to me when I was about nine years old
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  Speaker 3: at that time, and I was I didn't know who
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  Speaker 3: to speak to about this. I tried to confide in
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: my grandma, but it backfired on me and she didn't
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: believe me. In fact, she started beating me and told
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  Speaker 3: me to be quiet and never speak about it. And yeah,
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  Speaker 3: so I just I didn't know what to do with that.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And how long did this go on?
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  Speaker 3: I think good couple of years. My uncle was kind
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: of going through a separation himself. He was married, but
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  Speaker 3: his wife was in a different city, and I think
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: for maybe maybe just just just over a year, almost
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  Speaker 3: two years, when he reconciled back with his wife, then
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: he moved out and that's when it all stopped.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Is he still alive?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah? He is.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Wow. And have you talked to him about this as
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: an adult personally?
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: No, I haven't. But the same thing happened to my sister.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: He did the same thing to her, and it's only
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: recently that she texted me to say that she told
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: his wife about all of this because she couldn't take
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: it anymore. It was too much to carry. So I'm
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: not sure if his wife had spoken to him or
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: not about this.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: So yeah, wow, And then so obviously this led Did
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: this lead to you? Because you say you hated God?
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: You knew God was real, but you hated him, So
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: was this kind of a result of that?
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: That was one of the reasons. The other reason was
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: the environment that we were being raised felt very kind
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: of conflicting within myself because my granddad was a pastor
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  Speaker 3: and my uncle, same uncle was leading worship. So inside
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: that house we had our own church. We had people
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: coming there and every time they would preach and they
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: would treat people so differently and so nicely. But as
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: soon as the church is over, they're just different people.
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  Speaker 2: You know.
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  Speaker 3: My grandma had some serious anger issues, and just out
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  Speaker 3: of nowhere, she would just it's just a small mistake,
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  Speaker 3: or if I didn't understand her instructions on what she's
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: asking me to do, she would lose her temper and
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: she would beat us, like really badly. There were days
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: when I would have a puss on my back, just
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: behind my back. The way she would beat you with
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: sometimes chairs or pipes or water pipes. So everything that
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: they were preaching about Jesus, I knew he was real.
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  Speaker 3: I knew there was something about him. I remember my
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: mother praying as well. So I had no doubt that
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  Speaker 3: there is a God. But I just didn't know how
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  Speaker 3: could this kind of God allow so much to happen
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  Speaker 3: in my life? And where was he when I needed protection?
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  Speaker 3: I couldn't confine in my father, I couldn't confide in
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  Speaker 3: anyone else. So yeah, a lot of confusion, a lot
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  Speaker 3: of questions, a lot of pain.
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  Speaker 1: Really wow, And so how did you How did you
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  Speaker 1: know God was real at that age? I mean, did
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  Speaker 1: you have some sort of experience or did you just
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  Speaker 1: you were exposed to it so much that you just
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  Speaker 1: believed it?
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  Speaker 3: What I was not just exposed. I was also witnessing
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  Speaker 3: some of the exorcism that was taking place in the house.
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  Speaker 3: I saw some weird stuff happening, like supernatural, like bloods,
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  Speaker 3: and I would often have dreams of Jesus walking with me.
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  Speaker 3: So I've kind of had that kind of connection with
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  Speaker 3: him that he's real, but I just didn't connect the dots.
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  Speaker 3: How can he be real? And yet not be there
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  Speaker 3: for me in that sense.
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  Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this short break. Wait, so
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  Speaker 1: you you just mentioned the exorses of you have any
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: to that? Okay, So it's say about these exorcies of
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  Speaker 1: or what was going on.
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  Speaker 3: My granddad was kind of known for these things in
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  Speaker 3: that area, and we had a lot of Muslims coming
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  Speaker 3: to my grandfather for that kind of healing. So you
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  Speaker 3: would see when people were being delivered, you would see
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  Speaker 3: their voices changed, something happening to them, and they would
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: throw up or some kind of stuff coming out of
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  Speaker 3: their mouths. So you knew that that, you know, the
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  Speaker 3: demons are real, and if demons are real, then God
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  Speaker 3: is real and it's just everything.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: But also what about Christianity in Pakistan? Was mean? Was
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  Speaker 1: it legal? Was it frowned upon?
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  Speaker 3: Like?
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  Speaker 1: What was it? I mean that must have been a
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  Speaker 1: difficult place to be as a.
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  Speaker 3: Christian m Yeah, I mean we did not. Well. We
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  Speaker 3: had all the privileges, the normal basic ones where you
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  Speaker 3: could go to school and buy things and everything, but
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  Speaker 3: then there had been incidents where some young Muslim people,
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  Speaker 3: kids especially, they know that you're Christian and they would
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  Speaker 3: sometimes throw things at you, calling you Christian kind of
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  Speaker 3: weird names, and you knew it was because of your belief,
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  Speaker 3: because our church, our house was had across and people
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: knew this was a Christian house. Even though we were
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: not kind of attacked in that way. We had that
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: kind of freedom where you could worship and pray and everything.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Somewhere here and there some kids would really just bully
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: you because you were a Christian. But other than that, no,
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  Speaker 3: we didn't have any problems in those days.
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  Speaker 1: In Pakist stand today, is it easy to be a Christian?
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Or is it? Are you persecuted for being a Christian?
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: There there have been kind of waves of persecutions on Christians,
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: but then there has been times where things have been
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: very stable, I think, just small incidents here and there
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: where there have been blasphemy cases where Christians have been persecuted,
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: their churches have been burnt. But then there's peace again.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: The government actually calms everything down, and then we've given
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: back the freedom again. So it's kind of on and off,
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: on and off. It's like you're very careful what you say.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: You don't really expose yourself as a Christian. I know
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: in my days we were not really we didn't have
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: that many problems in those days, but we wouldn't wear
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: crosses like the chain like this, you know, just to
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: be careful. You don't want to be discriminated in any sense.
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  Speaker 3: But now I haven't been to Pakistan in a long time,
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: but my family's still there and I mean they're still
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: doing okay. But there have been very stressful time when
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: the things escalate, but at the moment it's been all right.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then so how did you end up in
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: the UK.
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  Speaker 3: So when my mom passed away, one of my uncle
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: was already in the UK and he suggested to my
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: dad that it's no one going back to Libya, so
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  Speaker 3: it's better if you come here and start a business
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: or something, you know, settle down. So I think my
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: dad took that on board, and just a week after
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: my mom passed away, he went back to Libya, packed
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: everything up and applied to come to the UK and
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: he was accepted. So he moved everything and started a
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: business in the UK. And I think about a few
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: years we had to still wait with our grandparents and
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: then my father eventually when he got the settlement here,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: then he called us over.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: And so you go from Libya to Pakistan to the
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: utility to the UK. To the UK. What was that
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: like getting to the UK?
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  Speaker 3: Okay, So I was kind of really desperate to be
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: with my father because I felt really rejected some of
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: the things that your grandma would say when she was
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: angry at you, stuff like, oh, you're I'm not going
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: to use the word because it's a very derogatory word.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: That your mom has died and she left you horrible.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to say the word again. But people
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: for me to take care of you. So in that moment,
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: you felt like the only hope you have is your father,
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: and we were just desperate to see him and be
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: with him. And the fact that every time we'd write
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: a letter to our dad, they would read it and
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: make sure that we're not telling what's happening here in
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Pakistan with us. So it was very difficult to communicate
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: with our dad. But also when I was leaving, I
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: was very relieved. It was like a hope that finally
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: I will not be beaten, I will not be abused,
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: we will have freedom. That was one of the main
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: things that I was looking forward to coming to England
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  Speaker 3: and being with my father.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Wow. And so did you like it when you first
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: arrived in England. Did you like her?
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah? It was nice and clean and different, very cold. Yeah.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: I remember my dad introducing us to a woman that
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: he was dating at that time, and he said that
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: he wants to get married to her and he's been
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: waiting for us to come so we can be part
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: of the wedding. Really, so they were living together at
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: that time, so we had no choice but to accept her.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: In the beginning, she was really nice. She took care
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: of you. She took his shopping to buy clothes and
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: stuff like that. I really liked the pizza here for
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: the first time I was having pizza, So yeah, it
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: was it was good. Initially it was really good.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But then you you say that at what age
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: were you started to feel attraction towards women, And you said,
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: you know it was it started with your one of
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: your teachers. When when did this Did this happen in Pakistan?
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, it started happening again. It started happening around that
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: time when I was probably ten. So one of the teachers,
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: she would really help you with your homework and you know,
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: always check up on you. I felt that this is
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: the only person who actually cares about me, who really
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: loves me. And then I remember like, after a few months,
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: I didn't know she was going to get married, and
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: she got married, and she came to visit our visitors
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: because she knew my family in Pakistan, And for some reason,
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: I was standing in the door as they're sitting having tea,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: and she was telling me to come and say hi
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: to her, and I was like, I was so angry
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: at hers, Like why am I so mad at her? Like?
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Why did she get married? Why did she leave me?
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Those are my first feelings about feeling betrayed or feeling
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: kind of that this person who loved me is now
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: married to a man. And I didn't know anything about
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: my sexuality at that time, but I remember that I
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: was very hurt and I didn't didn't understand why.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: And so was it strange for you to have those
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: feelings of same sex attraction? And also, you know, being
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: in a Christian family, was how did you how did
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: you kind of manage that in your mind?
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: Well, to be honest with you, I had no idea
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: what was going on with my sexuality. It was a
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: very naive kind of attraction at that point. But there
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: had been a couple of incidents where some of the
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: women who were part of a teacher training program who
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: would come to our house. They would often stay as
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: well some of them. One of them actually started to
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: touch me in appropriately as well. I remember that. Again
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: I didn't understand. But when she made me do some things,
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: they felt natural and normal, but at the same time
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: I still didn't understand what it was. So yeah, that
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: was a very confusing period for me. I only found
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: out about those attractions when I came to England, when
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: I joined the school, when girls started talking about those things,
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: and then they said, if you have those kind of feelings,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: that means you're a lesbian. And for the first time
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: in my life, I realized, oh my god, I'm a lesbian.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Wow. Okay. And then before we get into that, so
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: you your father, your stepmother started to become difficult within relationship
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: with you, and then you asked your father asked you
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: and your younger sister to leave the house. What was
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: that all about.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: So we were having some difficult times with her, Like
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I don't really want to go into it, but it
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: was just that she was very strict with us. And
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: one of the biggest blows that I had in life
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: is when I told me and my sister, when we
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: told our father about what happened in Pakistan, how his
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: brother has been treating us, how his mother has been
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: treating us, and stuff like that, he didn't believe us.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: In fact, he said that you guys are lying to me,
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: because if that was true, you could have told me
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: about it. So it was very difficult to explain. So
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: me and my sister we decided that we're never going
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: to speak to our dad about this again or anyone else.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: And I think we were trying to connect with our
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: stepmom be obedient as much as we could, but she
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: was putting really hard conditions on us, like if you
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: want this, then you go to do this. If you
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: do this, then you're going to have that. But regardless,
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: we had no choice, so we were kind of still
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: going along, honoring her as much as we could. But
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: then my younger sister was having some trouble at school
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: and my stepmom was like telling my dad that she's
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: not happy with the way we are. We are very stubborn,
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: we're rebellious or stuff like this. And I remember one
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: day coming back from school and my dad said to
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: me that I think your step mom has had enough.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: So I'm gonna She's asked me to choose between you
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: and her, so I'm going to choose her. So I'm
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: going to ask you guys to leave the house.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, how old were you when this happened?
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: So it was after I think I was about eighteen.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Then, yeah, so where did you go?
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: So my sister was doing a part time job as
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: admin assistant, really basic job in an estate agency, and
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: so she spoke to them and said, I'm only doing
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: like Saturday Sunday helping you out with filing, but right
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: now I need help. Is it anywhere you can give
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: me and my sister an empty flat? Whatever you have,
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: and it was a favor of God. They said, actually,
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: we do have a place. We'll speak to the landlord
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: and see what they can do for you. So they
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: called the landlord and the lady who was the owner
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: of the house. She said, okay, I will let you
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: guys stay here for a month. And I had to
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: find a job and start paying the rent, so she
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: didn't charge me. She didn't charge the rent for one
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: month and I had to look for a job, and yeah,
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: we started working. Then I couldn't finish my studies, and
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: we started paying the rent and we just took it
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: from there.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Wow. And so when did you because you said, you know,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: when you got to England you realized what lesbian the
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: word lesbians and you realize that, you know, you were one.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: When did you start acting out on that and pursuing
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: that life and going to clubs and stuff.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: So it was kind of still difficult for me to
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: live it out at that time. I think I was
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: in I was twenty two, maybe twenty yeah, about twenty
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: one twenty two when I first had a relationship with
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: another woman. That's when I fully discovered who I am
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: and we explored everything. And in those days, I started
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: drinking and just looking out for clubs and we I've
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: found some clubs and yeah, that's when I started joining
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: the gay clubs in my Yeah, what.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Was that like for you? I mean, did you feel
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: like a sense of freedom? Like, how did you feel
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: about that?
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Well, it was not just freedom, It was that you
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: longed here. This is your family, this is real. People
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: were genuine, you know, they became your family, Like these
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: people understood you. This is how I felt like, I
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: really felt like, this is me, this is my community,
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: this is my family. This is how it was, And
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I was so lucky in that sense that I had
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: a few girls who became really close friends with me,
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: and we used to hang out a lot. And because
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: the family that you initially were with they rejected you.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: You've been rejected all your life, so somehow these guys
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: were everything for me.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Right And so how did you How many years did
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: you live as a lesbian?
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Ah? Good? Eight years? Good? Eight years?
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: And then how did you how did you get how
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: did you get out of that life? What happened?
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Well, this is the point, the turning point. I would
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: say that God himself just showed up. My sister got saved,
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: she became born again. She moved to Canada, and she
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: encountered God and she started praying for me. She knew
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: my lifestyle, so without telling me, she started praying for me,
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: fasting for me with her church leaders. And while she
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: was praying for me in Canada, the days that she
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: was praying and fasting for me for twenty one days,
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: I started to have dreams, really scary dreams, like I'm
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: seeing the end of the world, like people are dying
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: around me. And then I knew that the judgment is
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: coming and the next dream would be where I'm standing
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: in a line where one line is going to good
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: place and the second line is going to a bad
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: place with people I knew these people are going to
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: a bad place, and I'm in the same line, and
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: I would I would try to sneak into the other
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: lines to to to escape that. But every time in
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: my dream, I would see there was an angel standing
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: there and he would lift me up and put me
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: back and say that you don't belong here, and that
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: would really freak me out and I would wake up.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: And in those days also I started having thoughts about
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: committing suicide because what happened was I began to drink
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: very heavily every day, smoking a lot every day. It
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: was like I felt a big emptiness in my heart.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: And then and in that time, I was still I
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: was living with somebody in a in a long term relationship.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I was with that person, and I still felt like
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: something is missing in me, but I just didn't understand
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: what I had everything. So, yeah, I was going to
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: commit suicide. And the day I actually decided to do that,
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: that was in twenty seventeen, beginning of January, when I
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: just I had a voice. Before that, I was hearing
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: voices to kill myself. But that day I heard a
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: voice that was different, that questioned me and said to me,
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: why don't you try God? What's stopping you? Just just this?
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: And it really made sense to me because I thought
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: I tried everything else. I've been hating God all my life.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Let me just try. But I still didn't know what
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: to do and how to try God. And that's when
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: things changed for me.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Did you have a Bible?
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: Well, my aunt had given me a Bible a few
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: years ago, actually, which I never opened. It was still
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: in its packaging. I never kind of read it, and
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: I remember that day. It was a supernatural experience that
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: I had. If you would like me to speak about it,
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: I'm happy to do that. Yeah, yes, yeah. So the
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: day I was actually thinking to cut my wrist or
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: take an overdose of something when I heard that voice,
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: I was sitting down in the sofa and I got
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: up and I threw my phone on the sofa and
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: I started crying, and I was like, if there isn't
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: any God, just help me, because I'm done. I'm done
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: with my life. I didn't call in Jesus, I didn't
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: go looking for God. I was just weeping, and as
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: I'm crying, I started to see my own life flash
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: before my own eyes, like the things that I had
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: done wrong in my life. It was like somebody showing
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: me a movie. And as I'm looking at those things,
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: I'm actually acknowledging every single thing that I've done wrong
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: in my life, and I'm thinking I have done those. Yes,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that I'm actually confessing and repenting. I
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: had no idea what I was doing. And after ten
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: minutes of crying, I look up on my ceiling and
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: I say, you know what, whatever God you are, I'm
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: not scared of you. I'm just gonna go outside and
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: have a cigarette. And that's all I said. And then
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: I opened my eyes. And the moment I opened my eyes,
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: I physically felt something heavy just lifted over my shoulders
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: and I was smiling. And I looked outside the window
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: and I saw that the grass and the trees in
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: my garden, they was so bright and green, like I
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: never noticed that color before, like like they're alive. And
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: I was so shocked about that, Like what just happened
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: to me? Because I'm smiling. For some reason, I was smiling.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: I didn't know the thought of killing myself just disappeared.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: And for some strange reason, I didn't go outside and smoke.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: I was like a chain smoker. And I want to
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: tell you I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: a day. I didn't smoke that day and I went
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: I just got busy with other things. And I remember
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: that in my heart, I had this urge to find
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: the Bible because I knew I had one and read it.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: And I started looking for the Bible as well. And
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: when I found the Bible, I started reading it from Genesis.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: I remember doing that. I just wouldn't stop reading. And
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: the next morning I woke up and out of habit again,
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: I took a cigarette. I made a coffee and went
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: outside to smoke it. But when I took a first puff,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: that smoke was stuck in my throat. It wouldn't go down,
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: and I was like, what just happened? My hands were
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: shaking and my legs were shaking, and my heart was
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: beating so fast. I was like, what just happened to
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: this cigarette? And I just chucked it away and I
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: went back inside and I started reading the Bible again.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: And when I was reading the Bible, I felt like
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: the words are alive and they were just jumping out
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: of the book. And as I'm reading Exodus and Numbers
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: and all of these things, you know, that's like after
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: all of this, every single day I started reading the
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Word of God and I was weeping and crying. I
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: was like, this, God really loves me. I fell in
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: love with God. And from the Old Testament I didn't
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: even go in the New Testament yet I fell in
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: love with God already. So again, the second day, I
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: went to have a cigarette again. I haven't finished this
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: is the later part that I just shared with you.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: But the second day, when I went to have a
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: cigarette again, the same thing happened. The smoke couldn't go
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: past my mouth into my lungs, and I threw the
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: cigarette away again. And the next thing I know, I
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: put that packet away. I'm like, that's weird, and I
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: just don't want to have the feeling again, So I
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: put that packet away. And it's been nearly eight years
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: now that I haven't smoked, and I hate the smell cigarette.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: So afterwards, like when I started reading the Word of
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: God every single day, and as I'm reading it, I
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: just realized how much God really loves me. And I
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: finished it all the way from Genesis to Revelation and
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: there was no turning back.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Wow, So, how did that affect your sexuality and how
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: did it affect your relationships with women? What happened?
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So the person I was living with at the time,
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: I just told her that I don't think what we're
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: doing is right. I just once we were intimate and
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: I just felt physically sickly. I wanted to throw up,
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: and I sat up and I told her, I said,
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: I can't continue like this. I can't be in a
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: relationship because what just happened. It doesn't feel right to me.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: And I think she started to question as well, like
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: why I'm saying these things, And I remember I started
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: praying for her, and I said, God, I know what
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: it's like to feel rejected when you know somebody that
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: you've known for some time and you wanted to settle
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: down with them. So I was saying, God, if you've
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: saved me, I want you to save her. I was
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: kind of challenging God like Moses, like if you're not
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: gonna do this, then I don't want to. I don't
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: want to something like this. And then what happened was
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: she became really angry, and she wanted to find out
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: who is it that came between us? And she wanted
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: to know who Jesus is because she did not come
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: from a Christian background. And she started reading the Word
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: of God and she got convicted as well because she
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: thought that she was born this way and I thought
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: I was born this way. And we both got baptized together.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Oh amazing. I didn't know that. That's amazing, Praise God.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: And so are you still friends?
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: Best friends?
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: And how what about your your father and your stepmother
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: and other family members have they do they know about
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: you're that you're a Christian now? And like what how
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: have they reacted?
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: Uh? Yeah, I mean I didn't share this bit with you.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: But my father is a Jehovah's Witness.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Wow, so oh, so what was here Jehovah's witness? Did
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: you grow up in that?
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: No?
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: So he became a Jehovah's witnesses after he got married,
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: and they while we were still living with them, Me
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: and my sister and the whole family got about baptized
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: as a Jehovah's witness as well, and we used to
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: go door to door as well, even though we didn't
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: understand anything. So somehow me and my sister kind of
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: felt something was not right with this religion. One of
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: the reasons also that my father chose the stepmother over
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: us was because we were not kind of fully embracing
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: the JW teachings. So he didn't like that as well.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: These are the things that we were rebellious in. That's
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: what I was trying to say to you. Although we
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: got Baptists Jehovah's Witnesses, but then we got this fellowship
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: from the congregation. So when we got this fellowship, that's
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: when my dad said that, you know, you guys need
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: to leave. And you know, I don't know how much
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: you know about the Jehoah's Witnesses, but they shun you.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: They don't want the families to speak to you once
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: you are not part of that group. So my father
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: found out that I'm no longer living that lifestyle because
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: he knew about He found out about me that I'm gay,
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: and then he still didn't believe that I've changed. He
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: didn't want to know anything about Jesus. He didn't want
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: to know anything about my life. The only thing he
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: kept saying is I will only accept you back and
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: love you. If you come back to Jehovah's Witnesses and
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: you apologize in the Kingdom hall, speak to the elders,
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: that's when you'll be reinstated. And that's when I will
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: have a relationship with you. Well, I had a choice,
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: but I chose Jesus, even though I missed my dad
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: and I wish we had a relationship, but sadly I don't.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Wow. And just for people who don't know Jehovah's Witnesses,
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: what do they believe about Jesus.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: Oh? So they believe that Jesus is the archangel Michael.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: They believe that the Holy Spirit is not a person,
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: he's an active force. They believe that only one hundred
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: and forty four thousand people will go to Heaven. The
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: most shocking thing that I found was during the Memorial
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: service when you're observing the Last Supper where the wine
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: and the bread, nobody would partake in that. It was
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: just past before you, so nobody would nobody would have that.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: And I remember growing up when I was in Pakistan,
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: every time they would break bread, everybody would you know,
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: have that wine and bread. But not in Jeova's Witnesses,
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: they say only those who are going to have one
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: hundred and forty four thousand only they can have the
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: bread and wine.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: So yeah, wow, and but and also so Jehovah's witnesses
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: don't believe that Jesus. They believe that Jesus was created.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: He's not eternal, right.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they, I mean they changed the word
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: of God into something that they want to preach on.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: For example, in Book of John the first chapter when
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: says in the beginning was the word, and the word
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: was with God, and the word was God. They put
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: down and the word was a God. It's like they divided,
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: they separated the actual God God. So yeah, it's it's crazy.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: So it's a it's obviously a false religion. So please,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: if you're Jehovah's what does it you're watching, please repent
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: of that and come to Christ, who is God and eternal.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: So you mentioned that that you had a bad experience
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: with the church being EXLGBT whatever, So tell us about
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: that experience and what was what was that like?
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So, I mean the when we got born again,
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: the next thing was to join a church and get baptized.
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: And so me and my my friend who was my
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: ex we decided to join our local church, and we
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: told the pastor like, we would like to get baptized,
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: and the pastor was like, okay, let's hear it. How
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: did you come to know the Lord? And you know
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: how they sit down with you and have a little
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: conversation with the elders. So in that conversation, we actually
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: told them that this is our lifestyle. We just know,
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: we had an encounter and we realized that this is
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: not who we are. We're not born this way, and
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: you know, we wanted to kind of leave that. We
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: were fairly new. We didn't know words like convictions and
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: stuff like that. Born again, We had no idea about
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: those things. So the pastor said, oh that's great. He said, okay,
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: if you guys shared your testimony before we baptized you
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: with the church. It was like yeah, sure. So we
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: were excited about that. So when we initially joined that church,
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: when you go into that church, people would welcome you.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: The ladies would hug you and you know, give you
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: a quick kiss on the on your cheeks, you know,
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: even their daughters would say hi and everything. The day
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: we shared our testimony and how God took us out
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: of this lifestyle, we noticed that the women completely changed.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: They wouldn't sit next to you, they didn't want their
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: daughters to be next to us as well. And when
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: I saw that, I was heartbroken, and I went home
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: and I was crying that Sunday, and first thing I
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: said to God is God, if this is your Christianity,
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: I don't want it. And as I'm crying, I heard
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: the knock on the door and the pastor came and
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: she actually bought two other pastors with her and she
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: sat down with me, and I remember that she wept
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: with me as well, and because she's noticed that, she said,
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: I'm really sorry that you experienced this, but I want
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: you to remember something. People will always let you down.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: But Jesus, this is why he said, follow me, and
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: he will not let you down. So at that moment,
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: it felt comforting that that's true because I read it.
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: Jesus said follow me. The people are going to be different.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: So I decided, I don't care what people say about me.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: I know what God has done in my life and
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: I'm still going to testify about this. So from then
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: then that day onwards, I still went back to that church,
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: but I did not allow people's behavior to intimidate me
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: in any way.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Are you still at that church?
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: No? That was in London actually, but no we I've
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: moved to Leicester since, so no, I don't go to
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: that church. But the funny thing is the same pastor
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: she also had to move when we moved, so she
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: is still in London, but somewhere else. And a couple
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: of years ago she invited us to share our testimonies
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: in a different church now and also something that God
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: lays in our hearts. So we shared that and when
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: we came home she called us and she said, guess
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: what happened? Guys? People in this church told me never
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: to invite people like this again. I was like, what,
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: so these church people they don't like XOGBT for some reason.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: I don't. Wow, that's so strange. I mean when I
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: got saved, it, when I got saved at my church,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: I had such like amazing support. I mean I got
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: saved in Los Angeles and my pastor was very He
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: was from San Francisco and he knew like he just
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: knew about the world. And it's so I had to
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: I had the opposite experience at my church. Everyone like
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: celebrated me when I when they found out that I
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: got saved out of that lifestyle. Like everyone celebrated and
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: they were so happy for me. So it's it's strange.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: It's bizarre that that that you had those experiences and
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: those Christians need to whoever was doing that to you,
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: they need to repent because that is not Yeah, they
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: need to repent of that. They should be it's like that.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: It's almost like I just see them, see them as
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: the older brother and the prodigal son who's like angry
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: in the corner because someone else got saved. Like what,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: so yeah, so please, if you're watching from those churches,
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: repent immediately because it was evil and wicked. But yeah,
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: so well praise God. So but now you're you're in
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: a good church now.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, now, we've been in churches where people
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: have been very accepting, but we also had the opportunity
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: to share our testimonies in different places, in different nations,
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: and I noticed that one of the questions that those
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: people ask in the churches is, so, what would you
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: do if an LGBT person walks into our church? And
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: for them to even ask this question is kind of
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: allowing to me, because what would you Churches are not equipped.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: I feel that they're not really some churches are not
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: equipped on how to deal with people like this even
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: if they show up. So I think there's a lot
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: of things that we need to kind of enlighten them
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: with in that God is doing something in this community
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: as well. God is bringing people from that lifestyle in
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: every lifestyle, different lifestyle. The harvest is plenty, it's ready.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: It's just that the churches need to be on board
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: with it. Churches need to be ready as well to
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: receive those kind of prodigal sons and daughters.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Amen. Amen, Well, that's a good exhortation to churches. But
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: thank you Tia for sharing your story. I think it's
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: going to It's so powerful and I think it's going
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: to you know, if anyone is watching who is living
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: in that life, even male or female, I think it's
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: going to affect them, and we pray that it will
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: convict them and they will come to Christ because nothing,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: as you know, I mean, nothing in the world is
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: more satisfying than having a relationship with Jesus.
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Amen.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: Amen. Amen. Once you've tasted God, you just you can't
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: go back. I mean some people ask us like you're
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: probably suppressing it. It's far from it. We have every
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: freedom to go back into that lifestyle, but because you've
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: already been there, it's just never satisfied. You don't want
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: to go back, you know, you just want to.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I always say I don't. I don't want to go
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: back to Egypt. I don't want to go back exactly,
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: do not ever want to go back there. So praise God. Well,
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: thank you Tia for sharing your story. I appreciate it.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Beckett
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Cook Show. Your support makes this content possible. All episodes
• 44:22
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• 44:26
  Speaker 2: For more information about Beckett and his ministry, visit his
• 44:29
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• 44:32
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• 44:34
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• 44:37
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