Latest / Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald / Comedian Danae Hays on being Funny, Southern and Gay

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Comedian Danae Hays on being Funny, Southern and Gay · Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: They think you're done for the day, but they don't
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: know about the drawer. The drawer. Just the one square
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: before bed. Or two, you know. Nobody's watching. You deserve
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: a treat. With eight flavours to choose from, you can
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: choose the flavour you favour with Cadbury Dairy Milk.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Heather MacDonald has got the Juicy Scoop. When you're on
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  Speaker 2: the road, when you're on the go, Juicy Scoop is
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  Speaker 2: the show to know.
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  Speaker 3: She talks Hollywood tales for real life, Mr.
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  Speaker 4: Saving Serial Data and Serial Sisters.
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  Speaker 1: You'll be addicted and addicted.
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  Speaker 3: Fast to the number one tabloid real life podcast.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Listen in, listen up.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Woo, woo.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Heather MacDonald. Juicy Scoop. Hello and welcome to Juicy Scoop.
• 1:03
  Speaker 5: I'm so excited to introduce you to a new Juicy
• 1:07
  Speaker 5: Scoop where you may be familiar with her hilarious stand-up comedy.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, she's a funny lady. Hi, funny lady.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Isn't that the dorkiest thing to say to someone?
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  Speaker 3: You funny lady.
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  Speaker 5: Danae Hayes, she has got her Buckwild tour. She is
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  Speaker 5: a tall, gorgeous, happy lesbian from the South.
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  Speaker 3: Happy lesbian. I need to make tour merch that says that.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: I'm a happy lesbian. That's so good.
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: And, oh my gosh, but we were just talking about,
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: my juicy scoopers know, I love fashion.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I always think I like look.
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  Speaker 5: Good when I choose my outfit on stage, but I've
• 1:47
  Speaker 5: been doing this for so long and I have changed
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: my style many times on stage.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I just started wearing like dresses.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I never did.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like, I feel like that would be hard
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  Speaker 3: doing stand-up comedy in a dress.
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  Speaker 5: When I started, I never wore dresses because I thought, oh,
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  Speaker 5: that's distracting.
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  Speaker 2: And legs and, like, I don't think people.
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  Speaker 5: And then when I saw, like, younger people and other comedians, like,
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  Speaker 5: dressing up, and I'm like, my God, you're right.
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  Speaker 2: I'm like, I like that look.
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  Speaker 3: And then.
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  Speaker 2: Some of it I liked, some of it I didn't.
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  Speaker 5: Anyway, your body is banging and you have a real
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  Speaker 5: nice snatched flat waist action.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 5: Which I think is the best thing you could have
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  Speaker 5: if you are a female comic.
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  Speaker 2: Forget about being funny. All you need is a divorce.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Just go through a divorce. I think I dropped 25
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  Speaker 3: pounds after I got a divorce. And people are always like, my.
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  Speaker 2: Divorce from your other wife. Yeah. But you only have
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  Speaker 2: one wife.
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  Speaker 3: I was about to say.
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  Speaker 2: You do have a girlfriend that I just met.
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  Speaker 3: You sound like I'm a Mormon swinger. No, yeah. I
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: was married to one lady. It sounds like I was
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: married to an 80-year-old, but I was married to a lady.
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  Speaker 3: And after the divorce, I think I did. I think
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  Speaker 3: I dropped like 25 pounds.
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  Speaker 2: Once the divorce died is the way to go. Everybody
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  Speaker 2: says it.
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  Speaker 3: And people were like, oh, she's on Ozempic. And I'm like, no,
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  Speaker 3: it was literally just stress, nicotine, and lack of sleep.
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  Speaker 6: Well, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: It looks pretty good on you.
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to keep doing it. Yeah. Keep doing it.
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  Speaker 2: You're not afraid you're going to just be, like, become
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  Speaker 2: a fat, happy lesbian?
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  Speaker 3: Look, I want to be able to stand sideways, stick
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  Speaker 3: my tongue out, and look like a zipper. Like, that's
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  Speaker 3: my goal in life. I've always been the girl that
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: struggled with her weight.
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  Speaker 2: Really?
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  Speaker 3: I was 16 or 17, and I had just, like,
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  Speaker 3: I just had a muffin top, dude. Like, my muffin
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  Speaker 3: top was just— it was there.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: And I would not take, like, my warm-up shirt off
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  Speaker 3: my softball jersey to play softball. I was the only
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  Speaker 3: one with it still on. And my parents were like— You.
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  Speaker 2: Were a softball player, too?
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  Speaker 3: Don't figure.
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  Speaker 2: Were you out at 16?
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  Speaker 3: No, no. I— hell no.
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  Speaker 2: Is everyone on the softball teams— are they gay?
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  Speaker 3: I would say— like, I played softball at the University of Alabama,
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  Speaker 3: and I would say probably— 40 percent that's nice yeah
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  Speaker 3: so we you know but you weren't allowed to date
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  Speaker 3: the other players okay I did but you weren't supposed
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  Speaker 3: to but at 16 you did you know or you
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  Speaker 3: weren't out no I knew I knew I knew when
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  Speaker 3: I was eight years old um how did you know
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  Speaker 3: when was that moment I didn't know what the word
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  Speaker 3: gay meant I mean you know I'd seen Ellen DeGeneres
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  Speaker 3: on tv and I was like we're kind of the same,
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  Speaker 3: but not really.
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  Speaker 5: So did you identify more with her as being a
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  Speaker 5: gay woman or that I want to do what she
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  Speaker 5: does because I know I'm funny and I could see
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  Speaker 5: myself doing that?
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  Speaker 3: She dressed different than most women, especially in the South.
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  Speaker 3: Like everybody in the South, a lot of the women
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  Speaker 3: wear like Lily Pulitzer and like they always look like
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  Speaker 3: they're going to church, even if it's on a Tuesday.
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  Speaker 3: And Ellen had a cool little style there for a minute.
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  Speaker 3: Not really my style, but I was like, oh, it's cool.
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  Speaker 3: She could color outside the lines. And I just gravitated
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  Speaker 3: towards that. I was a tomboy. I always wanted to
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  Speaker 3: beat the guys out on the playground. And then I
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: just started to develop a crush on only the girls
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  Speaker 3: when I noticed all the girls were like, I like
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  Speaker 3: the guys. And the guys were like, I like the girls.
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  Speaker 3: And I was like, well, what does that make me?
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  Speaker 3: I didn't know what gay was. So I told that
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  Speaker 3: to my parents. And they were like, oh, hell no.
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  Speaker 3: They were not about it. We're from a really small
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  Speaker 3: town in Alabama.
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  Speaker 2: Were you religious?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, the whole family were Southern Baptists. But I think
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  Speaker 3: it was less at that time about religion and more
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  Speaker 3: of just like, oh, God, we had imagined Danae to
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  Speaker 3: have a boyfriend. Then that would be a husband and
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  Speaker 3: she'd have kids. And I think they also were like,
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  Speaker 3: this is going to make her life really hard if
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  Speaker 3: this is, you know, who she is. And then she
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  Speaker 3: has to be this in our twelve hundred person town
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  Speaker 3: in Alabama. Hmm. I don't blame them. It would have
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  Speaker 3: been really freaking hard.
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  Speaker 5: But then at saying it, hey, did they just go, OK, well,
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  Speaker 5: you know, and like brush it off? But they worried
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: by in silence or was it a constant conversation throughout
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  Speaker 5: your childhood?
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  Speaker 3: They took me to conversion therapy. They didn't know at
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  Speaker 3: the time that that's what it was. They didn't like say,
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  Speaker 3: we're taking you to conversion therapy because we've had these
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  Speaker 3: conversations later in life now. And they were like, we
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  Speaker 3: found a guy that said he could help with this.
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  Speaker 3: We didn't know that that's what conversion therapy was. It
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  Speaker 3: was a religious therapist. And then he would just sit
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  Speaker 3: there in his recliner. He was like, what fucking therapist
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: sits in a recliner? Just you and him? Yeah, just
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  Speaker 3: me and him. And he would sit there with his
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  Speaker 3: feet up, and he would always be eating a turkey
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  Speaker 3: sandwich on white bread. And he would just get stuck
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  Speaker 3: to the roof of his mouth, and he'd be trying
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  Speaker 3: to get it off the whole time. And he whistled.
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  Speaker 3: And I'm not bullshit when I say this. He whistled
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  Speaker 3: when he talked. And he would just look at me,
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  Speaker 3: and he'd be like, Danae, it's not a sin. it's
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  Speaker 3: not a sin to think about robbing the bank but
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  Speaker 3: it is a sin to go out and rob it
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  Speaker 3: and so that was kind of our mo oh okay
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  Speaker 3: so i could i could think about hot girls but
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  Speaker 3: i couldn't touch hot girls and how long did you
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  Speaker 3: go to him like how many sessions god i want
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: to say maybe a year.
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  Speaker 5: But would you talk about other things, like a normal therapist? Like,
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  Speaker 5: how was your week? How was school?
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  Speaker 2: It was just constantly about.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it would always start that way. Danae, what are
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  Speaker 3: you struggling with this week? And that was the same
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  Speaker 3: age that I got diagnosed with OCD really bad. And
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  Speaker 3: so we.
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  Speaker 2: And how did that come about?
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  Speaker 3: I started... feeling these feelings about how I knew I
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  Speaker 3: was different, but I couldn't control them and I couldn't
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  Speaker 3: get them out of my head. And I was like,
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  Speaker 3: I just want to change. I just wish I liked
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  Speaker 3: the boys. And then because I was so out of
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  Speaker 3: control with that area of my life, I started to
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  Speaker 3: develop OCD. So it was just constant counting with my feet,
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  Speaker 3: how many steps I was taking, how many times I
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  Speaker 3: touched a doorknob. I had to tell my parents I
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  Speaker 3: loved them 20 to 25 times before I could go
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  Speaker 3: to bed because I thought they were going to die
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  Speaker 3: in their sleep. And I needed them to know I
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  Speaker 3: loved them.
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  Speaker 2: I've never really understood....
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  Speaker 5: How all of a sudden it can happen. And then
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  Speaker 5: in your head, you come up with the number of
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  Speaker 5: those things?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's more of like, okay, I need there to
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  Speaker 3: be 17 steps for me, at least. I need there
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  Speaker 3: to be 17 steps by the time I get to
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  Speaker 3: that stop sign. And if I could only make it
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  Speaker 3: in 19, I would start having to take bigger steps
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  Speaker 3: and jumping so that I could get back to 17.
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  Speaker 2: And then how do you correct that?
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  Speaker 3: That was a lot of just, my parents were very
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  Speaker 3: patient with that because that was the worst part of
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  Speaker 3: it all. My parents were just always using logic with me. Like, Danae,
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  Speaker 3: we're not going to die if you take 19 steps
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  Speaker 3: over 17. And I would spiral. And they would be like,
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  Speaker 3: we're going to force you to walk from here to
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  Speaker 3: there and you cannot count. In fact, I want you
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  Speaker 3: to recite something in your head out loud so that
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  Speaker 3: you can't physically count. Starting to do that where just
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  Speaker 3: like living in the misery of not being able to
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  Speaker 3: fulfill that tick eventually made it easier for me.
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  Speaker 2: Do you have it anymore?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, my OCD is now more of like obsessive loop.
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  Speaker 3: So it's less of like counting and physical actions. And
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  Speaker 3: it's more of like when I'm in a really healthy space,
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  Speaker 3: it's my superpower because I get obsessed about what it
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  Speaker 3: is that I want to do. And my brain will
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  Speaker 3: not stop thinking about it from the time my eyes open.
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  Speaker 3: until my eyes closed. Like I could go, you know,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: if I'm awake for 14 hours, there's not a single
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  Speaker 3: 30 minute period where my brain hasn't hit that loop again.
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  Speaker 3: And it's just rumination after rumination.
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  Speaker 2: So in a good way, it would be like focus
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  Speaker 2: in manifestation.
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  Speaker 3: Absolutely. So like, um, back in 2022, I was watching
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  Speaker 3: Chelsea Handler, um, at the Ryman and I'd never done
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  Speaker 3: standup before. Like I was just solely making funny videos
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  Speaker 3: on online and I filmed myself, um, at the Ramen
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  Speaker 3: watching her as a spectator, and I said, one of
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: these days I'm going to be on that stage. Well,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I would go back and I would watch that video constantly.
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  Speaker 3: And I was like, in my mind, I was like,
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  Speaker 3: I don't have a path forward, but I know I'm
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  Speaker 3: going to do it. I know I'm going to do it.
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  Speaker 3: So for the past four years, I've been obsessed about
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: the ramen, never doing standup. And then I just had
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  Speaker 3: my ramen debut last week. So it's like, it's a,
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  Speaker 3: It works in my favor.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, I definitely believe in... In my day, we called
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: it secreting because there was a book called The Secret.
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  Speaker 3: I love The Secret.
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  Speaker 2: Now everyone calls it manifestation.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: But truly, it's also prayer. It's whatever works for you.
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  Speaker 6: Absolutely.
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  Speaker 2: It's actually believing in what you want.
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  Speaker 5: And it's interesting because in my day, my friends and
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: I would go, don't say he's going to be your husband.
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  Speaker 2: That's jinxing it.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
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  Speaker 5: And manifestation is like the opposite of jinxing. You should
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  Speaker 5: say it. You should vision it.
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  Speaker 2: You should.
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  Speaker 5: be positive in your thoughts and confident in your success
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  Speaker 5: or whatever. And yeah, when I was young, we had
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: a cable and it was any evening at the improv and.
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  Speaker 2: My parents, we would watch it.
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  Speaker 5: We watched them, you know, all these comedians go on,
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  Speaker 5: they do these shows and my parents would be like, Oh,
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: one day Heather will be on the improv stage. And
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  Speaker 5: then I do remember the first time I did LA
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  Speaker 5: improv and I was like, Oh, you know, so I,
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  Speaker 5: I love, And there's many other moments that I've done that.
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  Speaker 5: So it's cool to hear that you did it, too.
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  Speaker 2: And it worked out. And congrats.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 5: So let's talk about a little bit about your doing
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  Speaker 5: these videos and how you kind of realized you were funny.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: My dad, he bought me a camcorder back when I
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: was like 12, 12, I think. This was before social media.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Like there was no, as my dad would say, Facebooks,
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: you know, none of that. But I just was always
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: sitting my dad and my mom down on the couch
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: and I was making them watch my Saturday night live performance.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: So I would, you know, I'd come up with like
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: four storylines or four sketches and then I would play
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: all the characters. And my dad was like, you know,
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: probably because he was getting sick and damn tired of
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: having to watch me. He's like, I'm going to buy
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: you a camcorder. That way you can film it and
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: watch it yourself. So he did. And I learned how
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: to edit. I just started creating as many sketches as
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: I could come up with. And I would, edit it
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: to where it looked like this character was talking to
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: this character and.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Would you put it on YouTube or anything.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: No because YouTube this was like 2006 maybe and I
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: think I didn't even hear about YouTube till like 2008
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: okay so all of this was really just for me
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: to have a creative outlet and um so I've always
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: been that girl but when you grow up in a
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: really small town in Alabama um The arts aren't really celebrated. Like,
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: you're kind of a loser if you want to do theater.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I want to be a loser.
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  Speaker 3: But I also was a stellar athlete who went on
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: to play college softball, and we won a national championship.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, where'd you go to college?
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Alabama.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's awesome.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: So I was stellar in the athletic department, and I
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: was getting so much praise doing that because that's what
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: we love in the South. And I just didn't have
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: the balls to do entertainment. So when the pandemic happened
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: and we were all sitting at home and I was watching.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: And did you have a regular job at that time?
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I was doing a pyramid scheme, Heather. I was
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: slinging fitness programs on the Internet.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, really? Tell me about that. Let me say this.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: It's called an MLM, right?
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: MLM, multi-level marketing. Now, I will say this. Out of
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: all the network marketing businesses out there— Yours was the best.
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Mine was pretty good because we were helping people feel good,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: you know? However, you know, I'm very embarrassed, the fact
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: that I did that. Was it a.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Product, too?
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: How would you get people underneath you to then get
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: people underneath them?
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Like, how would that work?
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: So I had never heard of network marketing other than maybe,
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: I think it was called Advocare. A lot of people
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: in my hometown were doing that. But my ex-wife, she was...
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: really good in the beach body world.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 3: Like really, really good. And I wanted to move to
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: California and get out of Alabama for a little bit,
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: but I didn't have a job because I was selling
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: real estate at the time. And she was like, well,
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: why don't you join my team and become a coach?
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: And I, the way it was presented to me, which
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: is how you learned to present it to somebody else,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: seemed pretty easy. And you don't really understand the ins
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: and outs of it, but Once I joined, my job
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: was to help people buy fitness programs that they could
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: do at home and not have to go to a
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: gym to do. So that's why I'm like, okay, I
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: wasn't out here pimping like leggings out or Tupperware. There
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: was some value of like helping people feel good about themselves.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: And I still get messages from a lot of the
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: people that I signed up that say, you know, I
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: know you probably didn't enjoy doing multi-level marketing, but you
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: helped me lose 50 pounds and I'm really grateful for
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: you for that. So that is like, it's a conundrum.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Good. Yeah.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: So you're doing that, which is also great to be
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: in it when the pandemic hit, right?
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: That was like, Everybody was working out at home. Yeah.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: And so that's when you started to do some funny, like,
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: comedic videos.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I started doing a little bit of that. Nobody
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: really seemed to care. And then I posted on a whim.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: One night I posted on a whim a prank phone
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: call to a taxidermist in Alabama.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: I saw that one.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: Asked him if he'd stuff my dog. And had he
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: not agreed to it and acted like that was too
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: big of an ask, I don't think the video would
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: have done as well. But he was like, yeah, where's
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: the dog at? And I was like, he's in my
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: deep freezer. You've done everything right. Bring him up. So
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: that video got like 26 million views.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: It is really funny.
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: And like how you're like, and also with your accent
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: and everything and how you're like. You know, the dog
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: really liked to always put his paws on the top
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: of the chair.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: So could you position his body in that way?
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: Like he's pouncing.
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and he was like, oh, yeah, we can put
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: him in any position. And so what happened with that guy?
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: So funny enough, I called him back and I said, hey,
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: that was a prank phone call. I'm not bringing my
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: dead Rottweiler to get stuff. And he was like, oh, man, um.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: I was kind of excited about it.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: He was like, business is really slow right now. And
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: I was like, you asshole, Danae. I said, what's your
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: number or your business name and everything? I'm going to
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: put it in the comment section of the video, you know,
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: if it does well. So the video took off, and
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: I think he got like between $ 7, 000 and $ 10, 000 worth
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: of business from that prank phone call. So I felt
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: a little better about harassing him after that.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Do people in the South– actually do their pets taxidermy
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: i've heard of.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: A couple of people stuffing their chihuahua.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: When someone had really yeah when someone has like the
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: the deer head yeah like in their living room that's
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: just about.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Every living room in alabama or man.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Cave so you kill a deer yeah and then you
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: it's got to be a buck okay with the man
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: you mean yeah the boy and then you who like
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Takes the head to the guy.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Well, you take the whole body. Okay. So you don't
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: want to just chop its head off in the woods.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: The goal is to take it to a processing plant
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: and let them strip the body of all the meat
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: and the tenderloins, all that, the backstrap.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And then you just do the head.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: And then they sometimes will transport it over to the
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: taxidermist and then they'll mount it for you.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Do people ever resell that like a piece of furniture?
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. They do it all the time. Yeah, because they're like,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: I never shot a 12-point, but I'd like to have
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: said I had, so I'm going to buy this off
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Facebook Marketplace and put it in the living room and
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: pretend I shot it.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: It's men.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: You'd never see a woman haggling a guy off Facebook
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: Marketplace for a 14-year-old dead deer.
• 17:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: But a man would.
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: I grew up here, so we don't know about any
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: of that. But now I live in an area that
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: has a lot of deer, and I just love it.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: You should kill some. It's so cute.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Never. Never.
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: They're just so cute. Like whole families of four and
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: stuff like that. They're just so cute. But hey, I
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: understand if that's someone's culture and everything. I'm not here
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: to judge.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: Can I just say, I love how politically correct everybody
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: in California is. You're like, but I'm not judging.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: No, but honestly, I'm really not because... I feel like
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: that is a cultural thing. And I, so I'm not
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: going to say that like, it's awful. I really do.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like that. I think a lot of people are
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: not like that actually, but yeah.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Cause down south, like that's cause like I'm from Alabama.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: I live in Nashville now. And it's so funny. Cause
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: like I was on a podcast yesterday and there was
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: probably six or seven moments in that podcast where the
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: host was like, I'm sorry if that was politically incorrect.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: And like, I didn't even know what politically incorrect meant
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: until about three years ago because, like, the shit people
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: say back home just, I mean, just zingers left and right.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: And you have, like, my grandmother thinks it's okay to
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: call people deaf and dumb. Like, she doesn't say they're deaf.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: She has to say they're.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Deaf and dumb.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: And I was like, Grandma, we got to cut the
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: last half out. Like, they're just deaf. And she's like, well,
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: they can't. hear nothing. So what does that make them?
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, you just say deaf. Period. And she
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: won't call somebody, like, she'd never be like, hey, that
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: guy's a fat ass. But she'd be like, man, he
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: is so big boned. And just zingers left and right.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: No political correctness back home. Now, what did the grandma
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: think of you being a lesbian? I think it surprised
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: her a little bit, but she was mostly upset Because she...
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: felt in her heart, like Heather, I'm not joking, like
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: she felt in her heart that I was going to
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: marry Tim Tebow. It was, so it was less about
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: me being gay and more of like, oh, so we're
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: not going to be able to have Tim Tebow in
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: the house. She really thought there could be, that could happen.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: He's married now with a child and she still brings
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: him up. And I'm just like, that was never in
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: the plan.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: And you just love him because he's a cute football player.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: And a Christian.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: And totally, yes.
• 20:18
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Christmas shopping has already started in our house. My daughter
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: is so organised, already planning Christmas gifts from Macaulay. Hair
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: care for her aunt and a fab fragrance for her bestie.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I'm
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: an early bird, buying one present a week from now
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: till Christmas, which makes budgeting less stressful. I can buy
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: in-store or online from Macaulay.ie for home delivery or free
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: click and collect.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: So easy.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: Gifts they'll cherish at prices you'll love.
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: I'm Darman, and this is What Happens Next. Each week
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: on the show, I sit down with extraordinary people who
• 20:56
  Speaker 6: have faced tremendous setbacks, and yet somehow have found a
• 21:01
  Speaker 6: way to turn them into their greatest strengths.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Life is one long lesson of chaos.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: I'm heading to the Emmys, and I have police complaints
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: filed against me.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: When your free will was about to be taken from you,
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: what would you do if it was given back?
• 21:15
  Speaker 6: Where did that need come from, where you thought that
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: you had to succeed in order to feel loved?
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: He said, I have a work dad.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: I need a home dad.
• 21:22
  Speaker 6: What happens next?
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: When I came in, he started crying.
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: Everybody in life encounters hardships. What defines them is not
• 21:29
  Speaker 6: those hard moments that they go through. It's about what
• 21:32
  Speaker 6: happens next.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: I decided to risk it all.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I realized how valuable every day was. You're worth the work. Listen, Dara,
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to pull punches. You can use your
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: voice even if it shakes.
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: The stories are different, but the impact is the same.
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: Only one question matters. What happens next?
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: Um, my mom, one of the things that got my
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: standup going was I relayed a answer machine message.
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: Cause we had an answer machine message. This is like
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: one of my mom calling me and saying, and she
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: had this like funny voice. Cause she had like one
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: vocal cord. And she's like, I lost one of my
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: vocal cords after screaming at one of my five children.
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: And she's like, Heather, this is your mother. I've got
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: two words for you. Conan O'Brien. He's 6'5, Irish, Catholic,
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: went to Harvard, and he's going to be the new
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: host of his own show, and he's single. And I
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: just think that the two of you would be so
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: funny together, and, you know, and then she would leave
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: her phone number, you know, and, like, I think I
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: know the phone number.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: She'd always leave the phone number.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: And so, anyway, like, she really thought... That, you know,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Conan O'Brien being tall, because I'm tall, and Irish Catholic,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I'm Irish Catholic. That was just like.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's as if you could just call him
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: up today and be like, hey, want to go on
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: a date? You know, like, that's what my grandmother thought
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: about Tim was, oh, just give him a call.
• 23:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: That's what my mom was like, why don't you try
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: to find him?
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: And actually, he had a younger sister who was, like,
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: in different levels of the Groundlings. And she did see, like,
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: I did a little bit at the Groundlings or something
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: about it. And she was like, that's my brother. And
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: then I was like so embarrassed because I would have
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: gone out with him. He actually was dating Lisa Kudrow.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh.
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: And I was like, you know, but there was no
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: interest or anything. And then only once did I see
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: him in person. It's a pretty good story.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Did you mention it?
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: No, but this did happen.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Tell me.
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: You know, I was on Chelsea Lately writing and producing
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: a show. And she did this, like, sketch where we
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: were taking over the Conan O'Brien show. stages at universal
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: so she had this like idea of how like there
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: was a locker room and she was gonna go in
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: naked and he was gonna go naked it was like
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: this funny thing and so he was coming to do
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: the sketch and i was walking by and he was
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: walking by with and he did like do a vroom
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: at me really yes this recent like he's married i'm
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: married it didn't mean anything still with us Um, at
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: that time she, yes. And I think I, so you
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: got to tell her, I may have told her, I
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: may have forgotten to tell her.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: I may have not.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Even put it together.
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: So, um, but both of us, I think have been
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: married for a very long time. Like, you know, he's
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: just a little older than I am, but.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: Anyway, that is Conan.
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: I still would like to go on your show. Um,
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: Now I think it's just a podcast. But anyway, no,
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: I never was on a show. I never met him
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: other than that time. But I was like, and I
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: was with a couple witnesses.
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: So it absolutely happened. I fully believe it.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it really did. Getting back to you again. I
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: can't wait for the comments. Heather, let your guest speak.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: We've already heard your lame story. Shut up.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: They say shit like that? Only the mean ones.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: Anyway.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: I just got a mean one in the car today
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: that said something about, I have a pepperoni pizza face
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: because I filmed a video with no makeup and I
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: had zits on my face because I started my period, okay,
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: from a guy. I'm just like, oh, I try to
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: post and ghost and not read all that shit, but
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: it'll like, you know, you log into TikTok and it'll
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: be like, it's like right there. It is hard. It
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: is hard.
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: The one thing that really helped me was, and I
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: mentioned this, there's this girl, I can't remember her name
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: right now, but she does, her whole account, brilliant, is
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: she'll find a post under like a beautiful person, you know,
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: Kate Hudson, something. And then she will read the mean
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: comments that they're saying about Kate Hudson.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: And they're like, she looks old. And then she shows
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: the lady's face who said it. And the woman's like, yeah,
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: like total, like from, but umps not put together or
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: awful guys or whatever. And ever since she's done that
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: and I've found it, I follow her now. It really,
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: really helps because when you hear something– because there was
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: like a time like sometimes I'd be like thinking I
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: looked so cute. I have a little outfit and I
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: think it's chic and everyone's like, you know, whatever.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Tons of likes. Everyone's liking it.
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: And then I would just see like, oh, she thinks
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: that it– and it would sort of bother me. And
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: now every time I read that, I just see this.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: That's what I see.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I just see that and I go, why? Who cares?
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: Please send me her profile because I'd love to see it.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: I get probably my fix with that.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: With some of my friends in Nashville that, you know, like,
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: like Lainey Wilson's a good friend of mine. I'll, I'll,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: you know, read her comments because I want to support her.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: And then like, you know, a comment is bad. And
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: I'm like, How do you say that on this picture
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: of Laney Wilson?
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Gorge.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? So that brings like some
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: lightness of like, oh, there's just really miserable people out there.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Period.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: The most, yeah, it's so funny.
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: Okay, so then you start doing, so that video kind
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: of goes crazy. And then that encourages you to start
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: doing more of what you've always wanted to do.
• 27:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: So that once the prank phone calls, I like bled
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: those dry. That was kind of what I was known
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: for at the beginning. And then I kind of got
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: tired of them because I was like, you can only
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: do something so much before you lose creative freedom on it.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: And so I started doing sketches. So I brought a
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: lot of the sketches back from my childhood or that energy.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: And then.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: And would you do all those just by yourself, playing
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: different parts? Yep.
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah, so that... Because it was the pandemic, so
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: I was, you know, kind of isolated at home and
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: bored out of my mind. And then I moved to Nashville.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: And I started releasing country comedy music. So like one
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: of my songs is called Dick in My Nightstand, but
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: it sounds like a legit.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: Can you sing a little of it?
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like, I got a dick in my nightstand.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: I can use with my left hand.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: So good, keep going.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: When I'm alone, it always treats me right. Never too
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: tired on a Friday night. Oh my God, so good.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: So I started doing, you know, like, parody songs if
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: you will but they sound legit yeah and the production
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: and you have a nice voice thank you and the
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: production behind it sounds like it's gonna be hard too
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: no i'm learning and that shit's hard oh my god
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: it's so hard especially i don't play any instruments or
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: speak any languages i don't know how people do either
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: one of those yeah i'm learning but yeah Um, so
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: I started doing the music stuff just to find another
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: way to be creative. And that was when my agent,
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: my now agent called and he was like, Hey, I'd
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: like to take a meeting with you. And I was
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: just like, Oh my God, it's so hard to even
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: get an agent's attention when you aren't out doing what
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: you want to be doing to get the agent's attention.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Now, were you making any money online yet?
• 28:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Being creative.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Okay. At this point I had, I had given up
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: selling the Tupperware.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: The fitness stuff.
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: Doing the fitness stuff. And I was solely, uh, 100%
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: a content creator. And when he called me in his office,
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: he was like, do you do stand-up? And it was
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: like me, him, and like 11 or 12 other guys
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: at CAA. And I just thought in that moment, I
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: was like, you can either tell the truth or you
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: can fucking lie. And I lied.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Good for you.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: I said, oh, yeah, I do it all the time.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: And he goes, really? Can we see some clips? And
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I've actually never recorded any of
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: my stuff, but I will next time. And he was like, well,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: what do you say if we do like a tester
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: run with you and book seven comedy clubs and just
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: see how the tickets go? and then we can reassess
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: after that and I was like yeah like how long
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: is my set like 10-15 minutes and he was like
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: no no you're the headliner so you get an hour
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: and I was like oh okay great yeah that's great
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: when do you want to do this and he was
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: like uh two three months I was like okay cool
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: I left there, Heather, and I drove home and I.
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: Was like, how many followers did you have at this
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: time that they thought that you had a big enough
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: name that you could headline and sell out?
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: I want to say across Facebook, TikTok and Instagram, probably
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: two and a half million at the time. Oh, that
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: is great. And they were like, let's let's try it.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: So I drove home and it hit me. Number one,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: I've never done stand up. Number two, I've never done
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: anything in front of a live crowd. And number three,
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: how the hell do you write an hour long show?
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: So I went home and I YouTubed, how do you
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: write a standup show? And like nothing pulled up.
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: And I was just like, do you know, I just
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: have to say, do you know that Sarah Silverman had
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: a movie? Like it was her standup movie. And this
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: is probably like, I don't know, 15, 20 years ago.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: It was so funny. And it was basically that she
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: has a show that night, but she hasn't prepared any material.
• 30:51
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: I remember that.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: It was so funny. Yeah.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: That was me. This is crazy.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: So you looked it up. Yeah.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: I looked it up.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: And this is like, did you use AI.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: To help you? ChatGPT wasn't even a thing back then.
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: All right. And so I was just like, what do
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: I do? So I find this one guy on YouTube.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: And he's like sitting in like a basement and I'm like,
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: it's got like 50 views on it. So I'm like,
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: this guy must not know what he's doing, but I
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: have no direction.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: And I didn't really have any friends doing standup comedy.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: So I didn't have anybody to call.
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: So I know the rooms that the, the agents book,
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: they were in close enough for you to get to,
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: or are you going to have to like travel?
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: So it was Birmingham, Huntsville, Alabama, Nashville, Charlotte and Greenville. Okay.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: So Southern.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: And so, yeah, I could drive. And, um, So this
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: guy's just like, you know, just like right from the
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: heart and just try to find good segues from one
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: joke to the next. I was like, all right, fuck this.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: This doesn't help at all. So I just sat down
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: and I thought, well, how can I do this? And
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: I just started writing things down. Did it scare you.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: At all to think that you were going to get
• 31:55
  Speaker 5: in front of people or throughout your life you were
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: comfortable being giving a speech in class or whatever?
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: As weird as this sounds, it. It didn't freak me
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: out at all. The only part that freaked me out
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: was I didn't really have a playbook of how to
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: write it. So I ended up coming up with some
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: material and my first show was 90 minutes because I
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: wrote way too fucking much and drew.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: It way out. So the first time you ever did
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: stand-up was you were headlining a place.
• 32:27
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: You didn't try to get up any place locally for
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: five minutes.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: I didn't even think to do that. That's how fresh, green,
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: and brand new I was. I didn't even think to
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: do that. In fact, I want to say a week
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: before the first show, my agent was like, why don't you,
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: just so that we, you know, it's all new material,
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: why don't we put you in like a 20-person room
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: in this back lot of this improv comedy place called
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: Third Coast Comedy? And I was like, yeah, we could
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: do that. And I'll just get my close friends and family.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: And he was like, yeah, we're just posted online and
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: see if anybody wants that ticket since you've already sold
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: out the Nashville show. And I was like, okay. So
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: I did. And you know, we got 20 people in
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: there and that was the 90 minute show. And then
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: I had a week to kind of cut, you know,
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: some fat off the bone. And then I went into
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: the seven, the seven comedy clubs, um, Which, yeah, once
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: I got on stage, I was vibing. I was like,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: this is the most addicting feeling I've ever had in
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: my life. But I don't know if what I know now,
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: if I knew it back then, I don't think I
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: would have agreed to it. Because it's just, sometimes you
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: can know too much, and it'll keep you from saying yes.
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: But I didn't know anything, so I said yes.
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: Now, have you gotten any hate or heard about hate
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: from comedians that obviously... I know comedians that have been
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: doing this for 30 years that have some definite bitterness
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: towards a TikTok sensation that's taking stage time from people
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: that are classically trained, though there's no classic. We're not ballerinas.
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: There is no playbook for stand-up, but there's definitely... a
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: way that, you know, previous generations did it, which is
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: you start with five minutes, you start with 10, you
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: become a feature, you become, you know, move your way
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: into headlining. You've done, you know, you do the road
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: for a few years, then you get your tonight show.
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: But no formula works anymore. And I say that to
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: people too. If people told me I could not start
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: standup in LA, they're like, what do you mean? You
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: can't start being a standup in LA. I'm like, well,
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: I'm born and raised here. So what else am I
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: going to do? trajectory was different than someone else's as well.
• 34:39
  Speaker 5: So that's why I'm like, I don't, I've never felt
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: a bitterness towards that. I'm like, you do you boo,
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: make it work. I have noticed over the years though,
• 34:49
  Speaker 5: that certain, um, there was a time when YouTubers, they
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: did like a YouTube tour and stuff and that didn't
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: seem to work because those YouTube people for, for most
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: part were very comfortable being alone in their room and editing.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: And it was funny because of the editing.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: And without the possible, you know, a little bit of
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: training of the stand-up, maybe a couple people made it.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: Like Trisha Paytas.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: I told the story, but I did a thing where she,
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: it was years ago, and I was like, this awesome
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: weird network that doesn't exist anymore. And they're like, we
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: want to pair a real stand-up with a YouTuber and
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: see if they can do stand-up. And I got Glozell
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: and she had already done some standup, but that was
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: like a secret.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: So she already like, she was funny. She was easy, whatever.
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: And Trisha Paytas went up there and I didn't know
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: who she was. I just thought she was just like
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: this sexy little adorable thing. And, you know, she went
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: up there and she's very, she's pretty dirty.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: And because nobody had much prep time, like you only
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: had like a few, maybe we met like three times
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: or something. And so, Anyway, afterwards, we're in the green room,
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: and she's like, should I start doing stand-up? And all
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: of a sudden, there's all this candy in front of her.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: And I go, where did you get all that candy?
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: And she goes, oh, my fans brought me candy because
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: that's what I do on my YouTube. I just sit
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: and eat candy and talk into the camera. And I go...
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: And you have a million, whatever, you're making money. I'm like,
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: fuck the stand-up. Eat the candy in your living room.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Why would you ever want to stress about this?
• 36:29
  Speaker 5: Well, now, you know, 15 years later, she's doing so
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: amazing and she does a stage show. But this thing
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: that she's doing now, the singing and the stage show,
• 36:40
  Speaker 5: is better suited for her.
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: And she's doing great. But it's like, it's that kind
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: of a thing. So that was a long-winded thing. But
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: have you had to defend yourself among... against some traditional
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: stand-ups that might be a little bitter towards you.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: No not directly but I know that that energy is
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: out there yeah and I just don't associate with it
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: only because if like we're not doctors exactly we don't
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: have to go to school for this shit you don't.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: Have to be a certified stand-up either you're funny or
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: you're not funny right and so and there's all different
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: kinds there's storytelling there's There's all different kinds of ways
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: of being funny. There's people who do all impressions. There's
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: people who do all characters.
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: People only talk to the audience like a Matt Wright.
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: Somebody else would say that's not real stand-up.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: There's a thousand ways to cut the pot. And one
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: of the greatest athletes I've ever played with in my life,
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: she was a four-time All-American and an Olympian that I
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: played with at Alabama. But we also were from the
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: same hometown. So we went to high school together, middle
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: school together, travel ball together. She didn't start playing... Until
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: she was 12 years old. That is so late. Everybody
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: starts playing. If you want to go be an Olympian,
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: you start when you're four. She started when she was 12,
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: but she was naturally good at it. And I remember
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: when we took her on the team, the other players'
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: parents were just up in arms about it. They were like,
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: this kid is raw talent. We've invested thousands in our child.
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: How is she going to get to start over my kid?
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: And then eventually the stats just don't lie. And it's
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: like she could just do it. She just had a
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: different path to get there.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: So I think on that note, the goalie of the
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: USA team of hockey is. His story was something like that.
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: He wasn't the chosen kid in high school that got
• 38:26
  Speaker 5: to go to the special school for grooming the best
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: hockey players. You know, even the college I think he
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: went to was in Division I. And then, you know,
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: he's like the greatest goalie ever.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, everybody has their own unique story. And
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: I think the cream always rises to the top. And
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: so if somebody has been doing it for 20 or
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: 30 years and maybe, you know, they're wondering, like, why
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: isn't my career where I want it to be? I
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: truly believe, my dad's always said, the cream will always
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: rise to the top. You just have to, it's the
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: people who quit that aren't going to figure it out. And,
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: you know, that naturally great person that is beating the
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: comedy club's doors down on open mic nights and then
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: doing it the, if you will, the traditional old-fashioned way,
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: they will get where they're supposed to go. But this
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: new generation of like the kids that are, you know,
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: in their teens right now, social media is all that
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: they know. And so that's what's going to break Everybody.
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: And it's like AI now in the sense of like,
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: you can hate AI, which I do, but if you
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: don't adapt and learn how to use AI to help you,
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: like my mom's a real estate agent and- Oh, mine.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Came from a real estate agent family too. I was
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: a realtor.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: I was too. I read that about you.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was a realtor too.
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: And I've had to remind her like, mom, you need
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: to learn how to ask chat GPT, how to market
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: yourself in your particular demographic. She's like, but it scares me.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to use it. And I was like,
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: you're either going to have to learn how to use
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: it or you're going to get left behind. And so
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: that's why I just, I was like social media, I'm
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: not going to ever view it as a bad thing
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: for me because like, like Tricia, my fans have learned
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: to just like follow me through their phone screens and
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: they have this parasocial relationship with me. And so when
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: they get to see me live, it's such a treat
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: for them because They've been seeing me so much on
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: their phone screens. So it is totally different. And I respect,
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: I have to always say this, I respect the traditional
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: old-fashioned way. I have so much respect for people that
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: do that and have done that. And that's how they've
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: gotten to where they are. But I know that we
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: also have to adapt and know that social media comes
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: with so many perks and it doesn't make one less
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: valuable over the other.
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I feel like for me, I'm someone
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: that did both.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: You know, and- What I would also say is what
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: people don't realize is how much work goes into being
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: an influencer, posting sketches, the editing, this, that. And so
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: for the person that's just doing the comedy clubs and
• 40:55
  Speaker 5: kind of bitter that they, whatever, only have, you know,
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: 500 followers. Yeah, because you're not posting five times a
• 41:02
  Speaker 5: day and you're not coming home and you're not having
• 41:06
  Speaker 5: someone film your set and then spending nobody.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: You know, a lot of people don't like to watch
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: themselves back. Well, you have to and you have to
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: cut it up and you have to post it and everything.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: One of the things, though, is interesting. Again, the traditional
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: thing of this.
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: But the first time I did stand up, it was
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: like after a little like six week show. And I
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: love that because I knew I had to do it.
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: But much like you, I had a deadline. I would
• 41:27
  Speaker 5: have never done it had I not had a deadline.
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: And it was this little show at the end. And
• 41:31
  Speaker 5: everybody's coming and everyone's excited to come because I have
• 41:34
  Speaker 5: my USC friends and my high school friends and my
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: parents going to the Santa Monica Improv.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: It doesn't even exist anymore. So I'm like, okay, here's
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: my deadline.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: I'm going to do it.
• 41:42
  Speaker 5: So after that, it went really well. And everybody's like, oh,
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: and somebody gives me this agent's info. I call him
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: and somehow I got him on the phone. And I'm like,
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: oh yeah, I like just did this class and I
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: just had this. And he said, well, first of all,
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: nobody in the industry should see your standup after two,
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: until you've done it for two years. And because if
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: you suck, they'll always remember that first time that you've sucked, which.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: Is kind of true too.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: So I'm like, Well, how do you tell someone that's
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: starting to do stand-up not to film it and put
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: it out there?
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: Right. Because they think everybody, you know, how could you not?
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: I filmed what I had on my yogurt this morning.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: What do you mean I'm going to do stand-up and
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: not put that up?
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 42:24
  Speaker 5: But I do think for some people, you know, you
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: could wait on that a little bit.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, for sure.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: Or do very shorter clips or something.
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: No, I've had people on my team be like, let's...
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: Let's let's, you know, try to get a special in
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: the works. And I'm like, I'm only on year three
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: of doing stand up right now. There's no rush. I
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: want to do this for the rest of my life.
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: So let's continue to, you know, pound the pavement and
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: get out there. I think I did 120 shows on
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: my first tour. I was like, and that was the
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: best thing I could have ever done because I got
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: so many reps in. But yeah, I don't want to
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: blow my load too fast, you know, and put, you know,
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: something that maybe I'm proud of right now, but that
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: I have no idea how much more growth I can
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: have out into the universe before I'm ready. Because, you know,
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: we're just getting started. So it's like, let's just be
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: cautious about that. I remember when I was doing the improv,
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: this is like, you know, I'm in my 20s. And
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: all these guys started to talk shit about me. And
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: they're like, She's packing the audience because I actually had friends.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay. These fucking losers didn't have any friends. Losers.
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: I actually had friends and they were really excited to
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: come out at 8 p.m. on a Thursday night to
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: see me. They were also laughing at all the other people.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So you should be fucking grateful I brought these people.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: You know, but they tried to act like, oh, I'm
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: not actually funny because I, again, only been doing it
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: like a year or two years and I'm able to
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: fill a room out when I do 10 or 20 minutes.
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: And that was really annoying.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: I think softball, and I hate to keep bringing it up,
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: but I think being such an ultra competitive person, sports
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: taught me so much about, you know, having a jealous
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: teammate or having a teammate you can't get along with
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: or having a teammate that wants to play the position
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: that you're just naturally better at and like learning how
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: to navigate those relationships. Whereas like when I got into
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: the comedy world, If something like that happened, to me,
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: it just didn't bother me any. Or if they, you know, said, oh,
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: she hasn't been doing this long enough to deserve what
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: she has. I just put my brain just goes right
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: back to playing at the highest level of softball and
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: having to deal with 18 other women on one team.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: And they all want to play and they all want
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: to start, but there's only nine positions. And I don't know.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: I don't really let myself get too worried about what
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: other people's opinions are of me just because... I just
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: love what I do so much. And the only time
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: I think I've ever fallen into that trap was after
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: my divorce, where it was a personal thing, not a
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: professional thing. Because no matter what somebody says about my talent,
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: I just don't believe them, whether it's good or bad.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: I don't crave affirmation and I don't crave criticism only
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: because I never was like that in softball. I just
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: played the game and wanted to be great at it.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: You still play for fun?
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: No, hell no.
• 45:24
  Speaker 5: That's always very interesting. Okay, so I'm the most non-athletic person.
• 45:28
  Speaker 5: I was the last pick for every team. Back then,
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: they used to pick teams at the PE, which was
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: only once a week because it was Catholic school. It
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: was just so stressful to me. I just started playing pickleball.
• 45:39
  Speaker 5: Hence the outfit.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: Thank God pickleball exists. I want to get into that.
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: I'm sure if we played one game, by the second game,
• 45:47
  Speaker 5: you'd kill me because athletic people, tennis people, guys playing
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: against a guy.
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: Now the TikToks are these competitive pickleball tournaments though. Like
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: y'all get really fucking mad at each other out there.
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: I'm not at that level at all.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: I'm just happy to like return the ball and have fun.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: And now I'm like, now I'm getting a little better.
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, now the only way I like to
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: play now is girls that are all at my level.
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: Or if we play guys, it has to be the
• 46:13
  Speaker 5: guys have to match and the girls have to match.
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: And then we play with a guy that's not your husband.
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: And then you can, then I can, that's a pretty good,
• 46:22
  Speaker 5: that's a pretty fun game.
• 46:23
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: And cause it can be a lot of, you know,
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: it's not good. Like for example, like I finally was
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: starting to feel like I can't believe that I can
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: play a sport. I mean, I'm telling you, I could
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: never play a sport. You look so athletic. Like you
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: look like you would have.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: Been a volleyball player.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: It's just the outfit. And I'm tall, but I, Also,
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: I didn't start young.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: And so because my mom worked and I was youngest
• 46:46
  Speaker 5: of five, like I wasn't doing sports or anything. And
• 46:49
  Speaker 5: then then I just was like wanted to be like
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: in the theater or whatever. And so but I was like, God, mom,
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: if you would have put me on that soccer team
• 46:59
  Speaker 5: at four, like I wouldn't be so fucking lame now.
• 47:01
  Speaker 5: You know, like I totally believed in like you better
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: start early. So the pickleball started and I was like, oh,
• 47:06
  Speaker 5: my God, this is like a million times easier than tennis.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: I think I can be okay.
• 47:11
  Speaker 5: And then the first time I went, um, right away,
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: this woman was like mean and just like annoyed that like,
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: I didn't hit the.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Ball back or whatever. And it took like, it was like,
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: I was immediately at eight years old feeling lame and
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I just don't think that non-athlete... I
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: don't think athletic people understand what it's like when you're
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: not athletic because it comes so easy to you that
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: you're like.
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: I'm guilty of that.
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: And I would say, you know, this doesn't apply to
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: you because you also are great on stage, but I'm
• 47:47
  Speaker 5: saying one time I said, you know, would you make
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: every kid in the class sing a solo?
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't.
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: So why would you expect every kid to want to play...
• 47:57
  Speaker 5: performatively people are watching you miss the ball right the
• 48:01
  Speaker 5: whole everyone it's just fucking horrible right and so it's
• 48:05
  Speaker 5: like so I start playing pickleball and um And so, like,
• 48:10
  Speaker 5: I actually like it, and I can play pretty good,
• 48:12
  Speaker 5: and I can carry on a game in a rally.
• 48:13
  Speaker 5: And this, for the first time in my life, I
• 48:15
  Speaker 5: can actually play a sport. So that is why I
• 48:20
  Speaker 5: like it. But it is easy for everybody. Everybody can
• 48:23
  Speaker 5: pick it up.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: Is it singles, too, or is it just doubles? No,
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: you can't really do singles. See, that's where my competitive
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: nature comes in. It's like, I don't want to have
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: to rely on anybody. Like, put me out there by myself.
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: That's why I love golf. Do you play golf? You
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: should get into golf.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: No, we play golf.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: Okay, because I was about to say, if you like pickleball.
• 48:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, my husband and son are really good at golf,
• 48:40
  Speaker 5: and I'm just starting to play.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: You don't have to rely on anybody.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I also liked.
• 48:45
  Speaker 5: I also liked that when my son first started to
• 48:47
  Speaker 5: play it, I was like, oh, my God, he's competing
• 48:50
  Speaker 5: against somebody, and he's like, wow, that was a great shot.
• 48:53
  Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, you just don't see that
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: in any other sport because you're really just playing with yourself.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: 100%. Yeah, and that's stand-up, too.
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: That's the other thing of when, you know, because I
• 49:03
  Speaker 5: did come from, you know, sketch, too, sketch and improv
• 49:06
  Speaker 5: and plays. And what I loved about stand-up is I
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: was like, you only need yourself and a mic.
• 49:12
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 49:13
  Speaker 5: And you don't, if you have a partner and they
• 49:16
  Speaker 5: don't feel well, they're pregnant, they get another job. Oh,
• 49:19
  Speaker 5: now how do we do this little two person play
• 49:21
  Speaker 5: or whatever it is. And so that is also what
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: I love about standup. And it is such a unique talent,
• 49:28
  Speaker 5: especially with so many people having podcasts and stuff, not
• 49:31
  Speaker 5: very few people can actually talk for an hour by
• 49:33
  Speaker 5: themselves and be entertaining and be funny. And so it's,
• 49:36
  Speaker 5: it is a great thing that, you know, that you,
• 49:40
  Speaker 5: are doing it.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: I think that's awesome.
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: My, my best friend, his name's John. He'd never done
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: standup before, but he's truly one of the most naturally
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: funny people I've ever met. And so I had four
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: comedy shows at a comedy club to kick the tour off.
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: And I was like, Hey John, um, I got 15
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: minutes at the top if you want to take it.
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: And he was like, really? And I was like, yeah,
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: he's like, done. I'm, I'm down. And, uh, this was probably,
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: I don't know, maybe a month before the show. And, uh,
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: we got there and he just went out there and
• 50:13
  Speaker 3: you honestly, Heather, you would have thought like this guy's
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: just been kicking ass at comedy clubs and open mic
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: nights for years. And that also reminded me that like
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: a lot of times you're just put on this earth
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: to do what you're supposed to do. And, you know,
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: it's up to you to find it. And sometimes we
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: find it later in life. Sometimes we find it when
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: we're four years old, but seeing John do that and
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: do it so well and just find a rhythm and
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: go up there. Like he wasn't even nervous and it
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: was annoying. I was like, how are you not nervous?
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: I thought I was going to have a heart attack,
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: you know, the two seconds leading up to my first show.
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: And he was just cool as a cucumber. And now
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: he's like, I want to do this. And I'm like, well,
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: let's get it done.
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: You know, it's, it's, and the same thing goes for
• 50:57
  Speaker 5: someone that is spending all that time posting or you know,
• 51:02
  Speaker 5: doing something in the creative arts online that isn't getting
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: the views.
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: It's like, well, do it for as long as you
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: enjoy doing it.
• 51:09
  Speaker 5: Because that's the thing, like when I would be auditioning
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: and things like that, and I wasn't really making money
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: at it at first. And once in a while, I'd
• 51:16
  Speaker 5: be like dating somebody and be like, my God, since
• 51:19
  Speaker 5: I've been dating you, you've gone on so many auditions.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: Have you booked any of them? And I'm like, no,
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: I never do. That's the fun of it.
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: I never know if this is going to be the one.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: I get so excited just to have an audition.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 51:34
  Speaker 5: I never expect a callback. I'm like, that's not why
• 51:37
  Speaker 5: I'm doing it. I'm not doing it. Like, I just
• 51:40
  Speaker 5: go to the next thing. And I go, but if
• 51:42
  Speaker 5: I ever feel I don't want to do it anymore,
• 51:43
  Speaker 5: then I won't.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: It's so addicting, though.
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: But, like, as long as you're enjoying the journey, then
• 51:48
  Speaker 5: just enjoy the journey.
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: Just doing it.
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: Like, there's no, like, oh, and then once you turn 30,
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: go hurt yourself off a building and stop doing it. Like,
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: what are you talking about? Like, there is no timeline
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: for it, which is really... Which is really cool.
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: Auditioning is like literally, it's got to feel like taking heroin.
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: Have you auditioned at all for much stuff?
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just started doing some self-tapes over the past year.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: And just self-taping alone, I'm just addicted to that. Acting
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: has always been like the pinnacle. I've just always been like,
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: I want to do the Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy style
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: where they get to play themselves. or a character like
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: themselves and then play a character like the Nutty Professor
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: or Mrs. Doubtfire. And yeah, so just auditioning alone has
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: been just so fucking fun.
• 52:39
  Speaker 5: And have you had any like childhood friends or anything
• 52:43
  Speaker 5: that like secretly or you found out that they were
• 52:48
  Speaker 5: like not thrilled with your success and then you realized
• 52:52
  Speaker 5: they weren't a friend?
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 52:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not not like close friends that like I would
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: go out to dinner with now, but like people that
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: I went to college with just kind of like started
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: mass unfollowing me once I once I started doing well.
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: And I'd like, you know, start liking their pictures. And
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: then I would realize, oh, they don't even follow me.
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, what the fuck?
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Like, what did I do?
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: You know, and yeah, that that that shit's real. It's
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: so real.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: I saw this this girl. I just started following her.
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: And she popped up on my page today and she goes,
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: I'm going to an event with three friends I'm no
• 53:28
  Speaker 5: longer friends with. And what happened, she goes, I started to,
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: she was a lawyer, but she started to do some
• 53:35
  Speaker 5: online stuff. And she kind of literally was like, I
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: want to kind of build this and like whatever, give
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: this advice or whatever she was into doing, talking about.
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: And she's like a young girl. And so she said,
• 53:46
  Speaker 5: all my friends, and these are like a handful, you know,
• 53:48
  Speaker 5: friends from high school. first I want to say she
• 53:50
  Speaker 5: had one friend that would like everything, share it, even
• 53:53
  Speaker 5: had multiple accounts to like and share.
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 53:56
  Speaker 5: Then she had these other friends that they would watch
• 54:00
  Speaker 5: her thing because then they would ask her about it.
• 54:02
  Speaker 5: They'd be like, Oh my God, that, that story about
• 54:03
  Speaker 5: that date, what happened? So she knew they were watching it,
• 54:06
  Speaker 5: but then she would check because she was so in
• 54:09
  Speaker 5: the infantile stages that they were never liking it. So
• 54:13
  Speaker 5: then she was like, well, maybe they don't understand how
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: this works. So she's like, Hey, you know, it really
• 54:18
  Speaker 5: helps me if you like and share and comment and,
• 54:21
  Speaker 5: you know, and, and save it or re you know,
• 54:25
  Speaker 5: anything like that really helps me. And they turned on
• 54:30
  Speaker 5: her and were like, what, why do we have to
• 54:33
  Speaker 5: do that?
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: Like you're annoying.
• 54:34
  Speaker 5: And then, so finally she was kind of like, well
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: then maybe we can't like really be friends or whatever.
• 54:40
  Speaker 5: And then Somebody wrote like, I can't believe to her.
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: Someone wrote like, I can't believe you're going to end
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: a friendship over a like or lack thereof.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: And then the friend liked that.
• 54:50
  Speaker 6: No.
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: The one thing she liked was the mean comment. And
• 54:54
  Speaker 5: I'm like, well, there's no more evidence that you need.
• 54:57
  Speaker 5: Then that is somebody who is dancing on.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: Your grave, but you're alive.
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: One heart.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: So just know that if something really bad happened to you,
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: they might show up with a casserole or they may go, uh-uh.
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: But their secret, their initial first thought is, yeah.
• 55:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: They're waiting to boo you.
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: And they're jealous.
• 55:18
  Speaker 5: And this is something, what I do, what you do,
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: what content creators do, what influencers do among women, it
• 55:25
  Speaker 5: is something that a lot of people can enjoy and like,
• 55:28
  Speaker 5: but a lot of people feel like it looks easy
• 55:31
  Speaker 5: and they could do it too.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: That's the thing.
• 55:32
  Speaker 5: And because they're not doing it, they get, like I
• 55:35
  Speaker 5: found some of my haters are fucking hilarious.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Yes. And I go, oh, that's why you hate me.
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: Because you're really fucking funny.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: And you didn't pursue it.
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: It's always, I wish I was doing what they're doing.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: And, you know, I read a quote one time. It said,
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: go where you're envious. And this was back during my,
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: you know, fitness and real estate days. And I hated
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: what I was doing. I tried pharmaceutical sales. I did
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: real estate.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: I did all that, too, though.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: Sports broadcasting. And I just was not fulfilled. And I
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: read this quote and it said, go where you're envious.
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: And I started researching the groundlings. And I was just like,
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: I want to do that so bad because I love
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: sketch comedy. I love improv. I love all that shit.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: But I was just like, I'm from Alabama. People from
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: Alabama don't move to L.A. and do that. So I
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: just stopped thinking about it. But every time I would
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: see a comedian online, like I just kind of started
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: becoming like, oh. I wish that was me. And I
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: was like, finally, Denae, buck up. If that's what you
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: want to do, go, go fucking do it. You know?
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: And I just don't think a lot of people, like
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: I didn't, I didn't have the confidence to go out
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: and do it at the beginning. So instead I would
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: just be like, well, I wish that was me instead,
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: but I wasn't doing anything about it.
• 56:49
  Speaker 5: So, um, you have a very cute girlfriend in the,
• 56:52
  Speaker 5: in the outside. And, um, I mean, not outside, we're
• 56:57
  Speaker 5: in the closet.
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: She's outside.
• 56:58
  Speaker 5: No, she's still in the closet. So you started telling
• 57:01
  Speaker 5: me about how you guys met. I was like, wait,
• 57:02
  Speaker 5: I want to save it for the show. So tell
• 57:04
  Speaker 5: me how you guys met.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: Well, first time I met her, it was a very casual, hey,
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: how's it going? I met her at a friend's house,
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: a mutual friend. And I was like, what do you do?
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: And she's like, I'm an actress. And I was like, oh,
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: my gosh, I would love to get into acting. I
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: was like, I know nothing about it. And she was like,
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: what's your email? I was like, this. And she goes, okay,
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: I'm going to send you everything, all the resources for
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: Nashville acting that you need. So sure enough, about four
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: or five years later.
• 57:32
  Speaker 5: That's when I would have known that she was interested
• 57:34
  Speaker 5: in you because no other. straight actress would help another
• 57:37
  Speaker 5: straight actress with anything.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: See i didn't know that now i know now i
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: know but i was also married at the time so
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: it was like very like platonic and just like very
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: just kind shows that she's a nice person very nice
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: person yeah she loves to help people and so unusual
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: in hollywood so yeah but i guess in the south
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: it's different yeah and she's from wisconsin she's just oh
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: that's where my mom's from yeah just sweet midwestern girl
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: yeah um And then we ran back into each other.
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: I had gotten a divorce at this point. We were
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: at the American Country Music Awards in Texas. And I
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: was like, I'm obsessed with you. You were the hottest
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: thing I've ever laid eyes on.
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: And you said all that? No, in my mind.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: I'm not that bold. I'm not that bold. I probably
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: acted really stupid in front of her. And we hit
• 58:21
  Speaker 3: it off. We started hanging out at the ACMs. And
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: then two days later, she was like, I'm going to
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: fly to Memphis and surprise you at your show. She
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: told my friend that. And she did. She surprised me.
• 58:32
  Speaker 5: And at that point, you haven't acted like you like
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: her more than a friend?
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: I was flirting with her, but I've known Jen for
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: a while at that point. I think that was probably
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: three years. And she'd only dated guys. Okay. And so
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: I just thought, you know, this is just going to
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: be for me. Like, this is going to be something
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: that gets me through another hard week is to just
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: be excited about this girl that I'll never have a
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: chance with. Okay. Come to find out. She was like,
• 58:59
  Speaker 3: I've never had feelings for a woman in my life.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: Now, how does she say that to you? So she
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: goes to the show.
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: She goes to the show.
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: Does it make you nervous when you have people you know?
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Come to your show, or does that make you even
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: do a better show?
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: Um, it depends. Like, my mom and my sister have
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: never seen me do stand-up, and the first time they
• 59:20
  Speaker 3: saw me was last week at the Ramen. That was
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: a little nerve-wracking, just because I.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: You wanted to do such a great show.
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's such an amazing, you know, venue, but... Yeah,
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: I would say I was really nervous when Jen came
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: just because I was like, I want her to think
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: I'm so cool and hot.
• 59:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: And she liked the show. She loved it. We went
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: out on Bourbon Street, not Bourbon Street, Bill Street afterwards.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't recommend that at two o'clock in the morning,
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: but we did it. We held hands at a bar.
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: I was like, I got this on lock. I was like,
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: I'm locking her up.
• 59:53
  Speaker 5: So now you're like, have you dated other girls that
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: you were their first girl?
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: I dated one girl in college. I was her first
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: girlfriend and she was so sweet. We took it so slow,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: but Jen is just different. Jen is just like the
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: most godly woman on the planet. She is just so
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: Christ-like and like, you don't, you don't, enjoy cursing in
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: front of her because it makes you feel bad.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 5: Now, I cursed a few times during this show.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 3: Fuck, you know? You know, damn. Now, no GDs in
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: front of her. That's where she draws the line. Okay.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: So I just, you know, I just wanted her to...
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: I wanted to feel like I was good enough to
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: date her. It was the first time in my life
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: where I felt like I needed to be... I needed to, like,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: be better in order to date somebody. She's like Hobby Lobby.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: She is Hobby Lobby if Hobby Lobby was a person.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: She just.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: Sweet and kind and live, laugh, love. And yeah, I
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: just took it really, she actually kissed me first. I
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 3: wouldn't kiss her because I don't know. I just felt
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: weird about doing it.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: And then what was that like for her then to
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: share you with the world?
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: It was tough because People Magazine wanted to break it.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: And she was like, I feel like everybody's telling me
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: I need to come out, but I don't feel like
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: I need to come out anywhere because I've never known
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: I was gay before. I just fell in love with you, Danae. Like,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 3: I don't even view you as like a woman. I
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 3: just view you as a soul. So she's like, it
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: feels weird that I have to use the word coming
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 3: out when that's never really been my story. And she
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: told her parents that she liked me the day after
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: the ACMs. She sat him down at breakfast and was like,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: I have a crush on Danae Hayes. I was like, oh,
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: is that easy? My parents put me in a concentration camp,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: you know, like that. That's how you do it. She's like, yeah,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: we're from Wisconsin. And I'm like, So you going to
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: eat cheese while you do it? Like, what the fuck
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: does that mean?
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: Like, my parents, yeah, put me on a breathing tube
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: out in the middle of the woods and was like,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 3: until you change and get the devil out of you,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: don't come home, you know? So they were cool.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: Her parents were cool.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: Their only reservation was that I sing a song called
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 3: Dick in My Nightstand. They wanted you to sing the
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: song for them. No, they didn't like that I sang
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 3: that song. Oh, they didn't like the song. They were like, oh,
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: she sings a song called Dick in My Nightstand. Not
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: that I've got tits.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: So.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: That's where that went. But yeah, I'm obsessed with her.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: She's just, yeah, I would marry her today. Like if
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: I could find a chapel to marry that girl today,
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: like I love her so, I just cherish her. Right.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 5: But when I, when you came, I'm like, oh, and
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 5: you're married again or something. And you said, I'm not
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 5: that gay. Oh, you said I'm gay, but I'm not that.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 6: How did you say?
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You were like, oh, so you're married again. And
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: I was like, well, I'm gay, but I'm not that gay.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: Because lesbians tend to like you haul it the next day. Right.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 3: And here we are. We've been dating 11 months and
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: I'm already like I want to marry her again. But yeah.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: I guess I am pretty gay. I'm pretty gay, I guess.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: And if you were to get married, what would you wear?
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 3: Um.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: I love lesbian wedding outfits.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: I love that sometimes it just, I don't know, I
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: just like it.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: I don't love dresses.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 5: I like, yeah, I love it that sometimes one wears
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 5: a dress and one doesn't. Sometimes both wear suits. Sometimes
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 5: both wear the same dress.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: I think it's kind of fun.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: I just can't imagine myself being in a dress. I
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: hate dresses. Well, obviously you should wear what's cool for you.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: I'd probably wear like a feminine suit maybe. I don't know.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: I think with your body you should wear a.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: Give it to me.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 5: Okay, I think you should wear like, imagine J-Lo in
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 5: a sexy white pantsuit. I think you should wear a
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 5: tight pants leg.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 3: She's got a little bit bigger of an ass than
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: Well, I think you should go with like a shorter,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: like it's tight, but it's a shorter leg. And then
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: something very like a lacy, like wear the lace bodysuit underneath.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: And then a very nipped in like, cute jacket, but, like, short.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 2: The jacket would only hit you to the mid-hip and
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: nip you in at the waist.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: I'm just going to call you when this happens. Heather,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: would you style me for my wedding?
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and then, I mean, you wear boots, so you,
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 5: I don't really want you wearing cowboy boots.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 3: I don't think I'll wear cowboy boots.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 5: I want to do just a sexy white Because with
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 5: the short capri pant.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: Just I'll give you a holler and you just come
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: on down to Nashville. And when people ask, what are
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: you doing? I'm styling a lesbian for her wedding.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: I want to.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: Style lesbians for their weddings.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: I can love that. I just love it.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: I just can't imagine me wearing a dress because I,
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: that I'm not, I kind of have a hard time
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: like deciding where I'm at on like the spectrum of
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: femininity and masculinity.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: Because it's like my energy is more masculine. Like the
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 3: bros love me and I love the bros. But I'm
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: not very feminine. But I don't dress super masculine. But
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: I also don't dress very feminine. I'm somewhere in the...
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: What are the kids calling that? Androgynous nowadays? I guess
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: I'm androgynous.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: I don't think you are at all though.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 5: Because this outfit and everything is super cute. Maybe it's
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 5: just I've mind fucked myself into that.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You're like, you're not androgynous at all, bitch.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: No, not at all. Like I was like... Yeah, when
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: I was like looking you up, I was like, oh,
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: like I wouldn't have.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, she doesn't look like she works at Home Depot.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: This is awesome.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: My mom was so afraid I was going to work
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: at Home Depot when I came out.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: Why Home Depot?
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 3: That's the only time she interacts with lesbians. She's like,
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: I saw a lesbian today at Home Depot. I'm like, oh, no.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: Where else did you see him? That's really the only
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: place I see him.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: Do you have any desire to be a mother?
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: To be my mother?
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: No, to be a mother.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: Very cool.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: I know I better get started, though, because I don't
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: know if I want to have a child once I
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: get close to 40. Like, I want to be able to,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 3: you know, that kid should be able to go take
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 3: a piss in a shit by itself at that point
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 3: without me having to change its diaper.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 5: Well, I don't think 40, you know, I was done
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 5: by the time I was 35. And I think that's
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 5: the perfect time because now my kids are grown and
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 5: I sometimes think I am so glad. Like sometimes just
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 5: like I go on a Tuesday night or something, I'm like,
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 5: I'm so glad I don't have like Boy Scouts. And like,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 5: I just think there's a time in your life, you know,
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 5: and everybody's thing is different. And because of medicine, you
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 5: can have children much older and all that. But I'm
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 5: just like, yeah, there's a certain point where I'm like,
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: I'm really glad I'm not at the welcome back night.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah and the times that I did it it was
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 5: really fun and I had the energy to do it
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 5: I don't know how I did.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 3: I just like in my mind I feel like 35
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 3: is kind of like where I would want to start
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: having that conversation it's.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 5: I think it's the for me it was sort of
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 5: the ideal time but everybody's different on their timeline you
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: know and like I feel like there's a big movement
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 5: of people getting married and having kids really young again
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 5: which is like my age it was like oh everyone
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 5: got married at 29.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: To 30, every single person. Oh, my mom was married
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: at 20, yeah.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but now I feel like there's like a movement of,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 5: you know, younger people.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 3: I was like, Mom, what were you doing? You were
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: 20 years old, and Dad was 21, and y'all decided
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 3: the next year... How many kids are in your family?
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: Two.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 3: And they popped a kid out at 22, and I'm like.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: So your parents are really young.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: My parents are really young, yeah. My mom is 57,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 3: I think, and my dad is 59.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 5: Has anyone ever thought you were a couple with your
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 5: dad or anything?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: No, that would be weird, Heather. Well, it's happened.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: It's happened to me twice. No. With Drake.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: Stop.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: And it's the greatest compliment because I had him.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: I'm sure he loves it.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: I had him at 30, you know, over 30.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 4: I had him.
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: So I didn't have him at 18.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 6: Stop.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 5: The story was the best one. We were in Salt
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 5: Lake City, you know, which is a little funky. And
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 5: we're at a nice hotel and we have time before
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 5: the show. And so it was like a little happy hour.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 5: So we were sitting next to each other so he
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 5: could watch the game. And there was this couple to
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 5: my right and the guy was kind of like hipster,
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 5: like tattooed and he had those big.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: Earrings, you know, that make your lobes. And she was older.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: But she wasn't, like, me older, like, with, like, Botox and, like, hair. Like,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: she was looking kind of.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: Your skin is flawless, by the way. I've been staring
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: at the whole time.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 5: She was looking kind of older, okay? Like, flat hair
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 5: and whatever. And at one point, she— Was she older
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 5: or just haggard? I don't know, because it.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: Was Salt Lake City. But she was clearly older than
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: this guy, okay?
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: Mormons, y'all need to care more. By, like, 20 years, okay?
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: Put yourselves together.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 5: And at one point, she's talking to him, and she
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 5: put her hand on his chest, and I'm thinking— Oh,
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 5: I thought that was her son That seems a little
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 5: touchy But maybe she's like, son, get a job I
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 5: don't know what she was doing So then I'm sitting
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 5: there with Drake And we're talking We're sharing food I'm like,
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 5: do you want that?
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 2: Whatever And then She looks over at me. He goes
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: to the bathroom. She looks over at me.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 5: She goes, can I ask you something? And I thought
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 5: she was going to say, are you Heather MacDonald or whatever?
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 5: And she goes, are you guys together? It makes me
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 5: so excited.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 3: Okay. See, I'm like.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: Right. But to the parent, it's actually flattering. To the kid,
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: it's like, you want to fucking barf. But to the,
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 5: I go, oh, no, he's my son. Well, now I
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 5: know this isn't her son. And she's like, oh, I thought,
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 5: you know, we just had something in common. I go, oh,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 5: is that your boyfriend?
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 3: She's like, no, he's my husband.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: But he really looks like he's actually a lot older
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: than he looks.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, OK.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: She's like, I just thought maybe, you know, like we
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: could hang out or something. And I'm like, no, this
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: is my son.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 5: The other time it happened was in Houston. We were
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 5: at this airport hotel in Houston doing on the road.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 5: And this guy, which is, by the way, Houston is, like,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 5: such a creepy place to be because of that airport.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: It's, like, number one trafficking, whatever. It was freaking me out.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: And so we're there. And, like, we go to the end. Already, like,
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: Drake was, like, he gets annoyed if I want to, like.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: ask someone an opinion, a question that's a human, because
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: this generation doesn't think any.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: Human knows anything. You do not have, yeah, interactions.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, give me a minute.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 5: Like, I want to ask the lady because we just
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 5: found a shit in our hotel room and I want
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 5: to get another room.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 3: You found a what?
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 5: We did find an actual shit in the hotel room.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 3: Like, hold on. Somebody shit in the carpet?
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: Like, it was, I don't know if it was a
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: dog or what. So we switch it. And then, so
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: now we're back. We had that incident. We came back.
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 2: Now we're in the hotel bar and we're eating.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 5: And now we're kind of laughing because like now we
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 5: had a beer, some food, and I don't want to
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 5: show that night. It's like everything's fine. And this guy
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 5: comes up and he's all, oh, my God, I saw
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 5: you all fighting. And then you went upstairs and had
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 5: some makeup sex. And now you're laughing.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: And I was like, again, so happy.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 5: I'm like, you think I'm young enough that this is
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 5: my life?
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 3: Boyfriend. What guy just comes up to somebody and is like, oh,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 3: she went up there and fucked around and now you're back.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: And I go, and then Drake goes, well, what you
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: didn't see, mom, is that he had like four beers
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: while we were sitting here, four shots or something. I'm like,
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: I don't care that he was wasted and seeing double.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 2: He thought I was young enough. to pull you.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: Drake is just catching strays every.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: Time he goes out.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 5: My friend goes, but do you also think that Drake
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 5: looks a lot older than he is? I go, well,
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: maybe that's the case, but it's me.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: I look young.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: How old is... Drake, if I had to guess.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: He just finished college. He graduated from ASU last year.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 3: I was going to say 23.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: I do get that my mom and I look like sisters. Like,
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 3: we'll go out to dinner. Oh, are y'all on a
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: sister trip?
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: And I'm like... Doesn't your mom... See, your mom must
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 2: love that.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 3: My mom eats it up.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: It's the greatest thing ever.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: And her accent is so cute. It's very nasally. And
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 3: she's like, no, we're, I'm her mom.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 2: I love it. It's just so, I'm her mom.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: She just draws, just draws it out.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 5: Well, so, you know, I've had it happen because, you know,
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 5: I just, in LA, and I have so many gay friends,
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 5: gay male friends, that there's just been times where I
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 5: just see a couple out and I just assume that
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 5: they're two gay men together, you know, and the fact
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 5: that they look alike and they have a big age
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 5: difference doesn't mean anything because a lot of gay guys
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 5: like to find like a younger version of themselves.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of sugar daddies.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 5: And I, I just was trying to this one, these
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: two guys and I'm like, Oh, so how did you
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 5: guys meet? And they're like at birth, like this is
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 5: my dad. And I was like, Oh my, I was like,
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 5: I thought you guys were just like a well-dressed, you know,
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 5: May-December gay couple. I was like, oh, I forgot that
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: there's straights.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 3: Walking in here. I have a game that I play
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 3: when I'm back home in Alabama, and it's, are they gay?
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: Or are they just Southern men? Because Southern men dress
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 3: super gay.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 3: Like they wear the five inch seam shorts with.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: Like a seersucker suit and like all that stuff and pink.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: And a lot of them, they, the voice sounds gay.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they'll be like, the Southern voice sounds very gay.
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 3: On a man, yes, it does. And they always, they're
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 3: just like, oh, tonight's so good to see you. You know,
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 3: Tammy and I'd love to take you out to dinner sometime.
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, do you and Tammy sleep in the
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: same bed? Like, And every choir director I've ever known
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: in the South is gay.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: Like the Todd Chrisley.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 3: You know what, Todd, if you're watching this, brother, at
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 3: this point, I believe you aren't gay.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: I believe he's not gay either. I finally gave up.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 3: I was like, I really don't. I don't know.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: Or he did what your conversion therapist said. He thought
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 3: But he didn't act on it. But he didn't rob
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 3: the bank. He ain't robbing that bank. Yeah, I think
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 3: he might be straight for real. But that's what I'm saying.
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: Is he gay or is he just a Southern man?
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 5: Because that accent is so gay. Danae, this was so
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 5: much fun. I'm so glad that we got to sit
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 5: down and talk. You have an incredible tour. Tell everybody
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 5: where they can find it. You've got dates all the
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 5: way through.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: You have dates all through the end of May. You're
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: going to Florida. You're going to Arkansas. You're going to
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: North Carolina, Georgia, Texas, Colorado, Richmond, Virginia.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: Where are we?
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 5: We still have Washington, D.C., Nashville. No, Nashville we already
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 5: went to. Washington, D.C., Richmond, Hunter. Tell everybody where they
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 5: can follow you.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so DenaeHayes.com, best ticket prices. And then I'm on TikTok, Instagram,
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: the Facebooks at Denae Hayes.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much. This is great.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Heather.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 2: Thanks.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 4: One reward.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: Endless choice. Skip the hassle.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 4: Reward the easy way.