Latest / Babes, how did you get here / [DELETED ON YOUTUBE] Full Edit Pre Prod
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- 0:00Would you say that that freedom to explore is not necessarily a stereotypical experience in Kazakhstan?
- 0:09Definitely.
- 0:10Okay.
- 0:11Definitely, because the families, they are also...
- 0:15Let's say in culture, culturally, Kazakhs are more likely to judge something common, even us as Kazakhs we know this.
- 0:23So we have even a word to say, his kid is better than mine.
- 0:27Really?
- 0:28Yes, it's a...
- 0:29Did you see...
- 0:30Did you see him or her?
- 0:31Yes.
- 0:32I like about him.
- 0:33What do you...
- 0:34I feel...
- 0:35There is not, like, English-speaking people separate.
- 0:38Russian-speaking people separate, Kazakhs people separate.
- 0:41And...
- 0:42Can my people come out and separate?
- 0:43We all are together.
- 0:44Okay.
- 0:45Yeah, we're all together.
- 0:46And that's why I have come out and say they have a huge respect that they accept.
- 0:50Because it's a...
- 0:52You have to start in a certain way to remove your ego and to accept other people.
- 0:57Right.
- 0:58So it means they're more connected to their hearts.
- 1:00And it just feels...
- 1:02Picture this.
- 1:03You're raised in Kazakhstan.
- 1:04You fall in love with dance.
- 1:06And somehow life spins you all the way to Cambodia.
- 1:09This is the story of Sayora.
- 1:11She's a dancer, a dreamer, and a woman brave enough to say yes to life's adventures.
- 1:16I'm really interested in learning more about her origins as well as her life here in Pnanpan.
- 1:22But first, I must ask, babes, how did you get here?
- 1:26Babe, I was just following my heart.
- 1:28Really?
- 1:29Yeah.
- 1:30You knew about Cambodia?
- 1:31I knew.
- 1:32I knew about Cambodia.
- 1:33I visited Cambodia in 2017 to 2018.
- 1:38I stayed here for a year.
- 1:40Okay.
- 1:41I studied here.
- 1:42I finished my school, my Russian school.
- 1:44Okay.
- 1:45Yeah, in Russian Embassy.
- 1:47And then before COVID hit, I went back to Kazakhstan because I had my grandma, so I wanted to stay with her more.
- 1:53Very cool.
- 1:54Yes, I spent with her time.
- 1:56And then suddenly I decided to come back because Cambodia, I just love everything about Cambodia.
- 2:02Okay.
- 2:03First, tell me.
- 2:04Describe, Kazakhstan.
- 2:05I know nothing except that it is the largest landlocked country in the world, but that's it.
- 2:12Kazakhstan.
- 2:14It's a huge country with amazing people.
- 2:18Why amazing for me?
- 2:19Because they are so artistic, everyone.
- 2:22Because in our culture, we love to dance, to sing, to talk, and to debate.
- 2:28Okay.
- 2:29Yeah.
- 2:30Even though I love Kazakhstan so much, for me, I found hard to be myself there because I'm very open.
- 2:38And in countries like Kazakhstan or close to Kazakhstan countries, you have to, let's say, follow some rules.
- 2:48Because I'm a dance teacher and I want to be open.
- 2:51And the way how I see my art, I want to put any limits.
- 2:55One more like a freedom.
- 2:56I want to dress up nice.
- 2:58You know, I want to dress up sexy.
- 2:59Right.
- 3:00And in these countries, I felt a little bit limited.
- 3:03Okay.
- 3:04Yes.
- 3:05So it's not about the people, but the rules that it's been there for a year.
- 3:09Okay.
- 3:10It's quite conservative.
- 3:11It is.
- 3:12Okay.
- 3:13It is conservative.
- 3:14And even though it's getting better, because we have so many dance teachers over there doing the same thing that I'm doing.
- 3:22Okay.
- 3:23It's just I wasn't fighting enough.
- 3:26Right.
- 3:27Yeah, to handle it.
- 3:28How did you fall in love with dance?
- 3:31I was dancing since I was a kid.
- 3:34And when I was a kid, I love to compete.
- 3:37Oh, really?
- 3:38Yes.
- 3:39So I didn't go just for fun, for emotions.
- 3:42I went there to compete.
- 3:43I love to get the diplomas.
- 3:46Okay.
- 3:47I love to win the toys, gifts, anything that gave me after it.
- 3:53Sure.
- 3:54And then I was studying.
- 3:55I didn't dance for 10 years.
- 3:57Okay.
- 3:58Yeah.
- 4:00I was traveling around.
- 4:02I traveled to Asia, Europe countries.
- 4:04I stayed in Russia.
- 4:05I can Kazakhstan in Cambodia.
- 4:07Okay.
- 4:08In Thailand.
- 4:09Yes.
- 4:10And then I was working in an international company that were doing cosmetics.
- 4:14One day I felt it's not for me.
- 4:17Okay.
- 4:18Yeah.
- 4:19I felt completely lost.
- 4:21I was very depressed at that time.
- 4:24What were you doing with the company?
- 4:26Retail.
- 4:27Retail manager.
- 4:28Okay.
- 4:29Sales manager.
- 4:30I was selling to Europe.
- 4:32I was selling to America.
- 4:33Okay.
- 4:34Yes.
- 4:35That's how I improved my English.
- 4:36Right.
- 4:37Yeah.
- 4:38And I was hired as a top manager after this.
- 4:41Amazing.
- 4:42Yes.
- 4:43And I was selling solar panels.
- 4:44Okay.
- 4:45Yes.
- 4:46In America.
- 4:47We were producing in Australia and selling in America.
- 4:48Yes.
- 4:49And then I had a salary that I was dreaming of at that time.
- 4:54Everything was right.
- 4:55Right.
- 4:56And then I felt like I felt it's when you come home and you fell empty.
- 5:02Okay.
- 5:03Okay.
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- 5:44Like you don't have anything.
- 5:46Nothing gives you the spark, the fire in you that you want to wake up and do something.
- 5:52You are just waking up and thinking about, oh my god, I have to go to work.
- 5:56Yeah.
- 5:57So I was living like that maybe two years.
- 6:00Okay.
- 6:01And then when the COVID hit, I felt like everyone is depressed.
- 6:04So I have company.
- 6:06Yeah, company.
- 6:07So it felt, it made me feel good.
- 6:09Okay.
- 6:10Yes.
- 6:11Because when you are depressed and everyone is just working.
- 6:13And you feel isolated.
- 6:14Yes, exactly.
- 6:15So when COVID hit, I had my time.
- 6:18I was just resting.
- 6:20I think I didn't have any plans.
- 6:22I was just doing TikToks.
- 6:25And that's the time when I realized I'm doing this.
- 6:29No one is paying me.
- 6:30Right.
- 6:31I'm doing this because it makes me happy.
- 6:33So and it was hard, especially in conservative country.
- 6:38We are raised to be right.
- 6:42We were raised to be, especially if you're a woman, you need to act a certain way to be respected.
- 6:49And the dance, especially high heels, it's.
- 6:55It gives a picture of me that I don't want to people see me in that way.
- 7:00Yes.
- 7:01So it was very hard time at that time when I decided.
- 7:06So when I was going to dance classes, I didn't post it.
- 7:09Okay.
- 7:10Yes.
- 7:11So you started your dance classes again.
- 7:14Again.
- 7:15And I didn't tell to anyone.
- 7:16Okay.
- 7:17But even my friends only my family, like I'm very happy to have my supportive family.
- 7:22Amazing.
- 7:23Yes.
- 7:24I think it's a luxury thing for me.
- 7:26But when I was going to dance classes, I was running after because I felt like.
- 7:31It made me feel happy, right?
- 7:33I went to a dance class.
- 7:34But after I had this flavor of like, I cannot even share it.
- 7:38I cannot be truly myself.
- 7:40Did you think your friends were going to judge you?
- 7:43No.
- 7:44Okay.
- 7:45No, it's not that your friends are your close people going to judge you.
- 7:49But sometimes it might get dangerous.
- 7:52For example, if you post.
- 7:54So it means you are sharing it to the world.
- 7:56Sure.
- 7:57And sometimes some men can write to you that like, it's not.
- 8:02Okay.
- 8:03Yes.
- 8:04And as we are a woman, we always have to think about our safety.
- 8:07Safety.
- 8:08Yeah.
- 8:09So I was living my double life.
- 8:12In the dance classes, I was the open.
- 8:15Because I was looking to LA dancers and I'm like, I'm a LA dancer.
- 8:19Whatever.
- 8:20I'm feeling it.
- 8:21At the same time, I'm a Kazakh.
- 8:23And after dance classes, I have to act a certain way.
- 8:27Right.
- 8:28So I felt like.
- 8:30I was thinking, which one is me?
- 8:33Right.
- 8:34The one that is there in the dance classes or the one that is living and trying to build a right way to leave.
- 8:41And that's when I was starting to think, maybe I should go back to Cambodia.
- 8:45Okay.
- 8:46Yes.
- 8:47But once I visited to come visit it, Cambodia in 2018, 19.
- 8:51It was.
- 8:53It wasn't that developed and they had no studios.
- 8:56Okay.
- 8:57Yeah.
- 8:58So it meant for me, I have to leave because at that time, I started teaching already.
- 9:02Okay.
- 9:03Yes.
- 9:04So at that time, I had to decide.
- 9:05So you're teaching and you're still keeping your corporate job?
- 9:08No.
- 9:09Okay.
- 9:10I quit.
- 9:11I quit.
- 9:12And then you're just teaching, dancing yourself.
- 9:15Dancing.
- 9:16And then you're like, I want to go to Cambodia.
- 9:18But are they going to have the infrastructure?
- 9:21They're not going to have any studios.
- 9:23That's what I was thinking.
- 9:25Coming here.
- 9:26So I thought, maybe I'll just leave my life for.
- 9:30Not to just worry about my safety.
- 9:33Okay.
- 9:34Yes.
- 9:35And just going to dance for myself.
- 9:36Okay.
- 9:37Yes.
- 9:38I was running.
- 9:39I was like, I answered my question when I was thinking which one is me.
- 9:43Right.
- 9:44And I realized the one that in dance classes, it's me.
- 9:46Yeah.
- 9:47Yeah.
- 9:48The one that is acting.
- 9:49It's not me.
- 9:50And do you think looking back that your fear was a valid fear?
- 9:55Or because sometimes we can be scared of something, but it's actually in our head.
- 9:58Or do you think that the fear of the repercussions of you dancing publicly were real?
- 10:05I think there is not the right answer to this.
- 10:08It's yes and yes.
- 10:09Okay.
- 10:10Both ways.
- 10:11Yeah.
- 10:12As I said, as I mentioned, there is dance teachers doing the same.
- 10:15So even crazier.
- 10:17But they have this courage to do it.
- 10:19Okay.
- 10:20So I think for me, it's not about only dance classes.
- 10:26It's just generally there is some things more than dance classes that I had to act.
- 10:30Okay.
- 10:31It's like the lifestyle.
- 10:33Like I felt I am Kazakh, but I felt like some things are not happy with it.
- 10:39Like.
- 10:40Okay.
- 10:43So how we are raised.
- 10:46And then because I went to Kazakh school.
- 10:48Okay.
- 10:49So we thought to how to dress up.
- 10:52How to act not to be loud.
- 10:54Okay.
- 10:55Not to be this.
- 10:56Not to be that.
- 10:57So there is so many rules.
- 10:58Okay.
- 10:59And it's a lot.
- 11:00Yes.
- 11:00And I was living like one day, I felt it's not normal.
- 11:05That I have seen other places.
- 11:07Did that.
- 11:08Yes, because I traveled.
- 11:09That's how I got like, why should should I do that?
- 11:11Like I want to feel like in America.
- 11:13Sure.
- 11:14I feel I want to feel free.
- 11:16I want to dress up nicely.
- 11:18Yes.
- 11:19I want to go crazy.
- 11:20Because in our in our country, we have to.
- 11:23Post of the colors.
- 11:25Like I'm not seeing a lot of colors.
- 11:27It's all the same.
- 11:28When I moved to London.
- 11:29Yeah.
- 11:30I was like, why is everyone in black and gray?
- 11:33So I'm moving from Jamaica, where we are color, even the houses.
- 11:37So in Jamaica, you'll drive through.
- 11:38Houses are all kind of color.
- 11:39Green, yellow, blue, like whatever.
- 11:42And then in England, they're all the same.
- 11:43I said, what is going on with the colors of the houses?
- 11:46Only to learn that you literally have to get planning permission to change the color of your own house.
- 11:51Like you can't just paint your own house.
- 11:53I paint.
- 11:54Okay.
- 11:55And so in terms of the color thing, I was just like, why is everybody just dead?
- 11:57And for some people, it might be like, oh, it's just clothes.
- 12:00But I think when you're in an environment and you see color, it does do something like to your spirit and your energy.
- 12:07Yeah.
- 12:08Yeah.
- 12:09Because in Kazakhstan, it's not it's not only about the colors.
- 12:12Like I would accept the colors.
- 12:13It's fine.
- 12:14The architecture is fine.
- 12:15But the way how we see the life.
- 12:18Okay.
- 12:19Like I felt like all the same for me.
- 12:21Maybe I was there.
- 12:22I'm like, you know, if you met other Kazakhs, they can show you the other story.
- 12:25But my story is this that whenever I went, whenever I talked to anyone, it felt all the same.
- 12:31Okay.
- 12:32All the same.
- 12:33Even the taste, the music, the references they get, the things that they get inspired by.
- 12:39All felt the same.
- 12:40So it's like, I felt I have to follow them.
- 12:43Right.
- 12:44Because I was myself and I felt like, I like different things.
- 12:48Yeah.
- 12:49It's not about on different, but I felt not safe.
- 12:52Okay.
- 12:53And I didn't feel safe to show to my true colors, let's say yes.
- 12:58I felt like I have to act certain way.
- 13:00Maybe if I was myself and I could see, but I didn't have the courage to show myself.
- 13:04Yeah.
- 13:05Because I knew like there is Thailand, there is Cambodia, like countries like more in South Asia.
- 13:10They're more open.
- 13:11Right.
- 13:12And less likely to judge.
- 13:13Yes.
- 13:14And still I'm a human, so I'm scared sometimes.
- 13:17Right.
- 13:18So it makes me scared.
- 13:19So I felt I love Cambodia so much.
- 13:21I love people how they're more open.
- 13:24They, they don't judge, especially if you're a foreigner.
- 13:27Right.
- 13:28Cambodia, they don't judge.
- 13:29They're like, she's a foreigner there.
- 13:31Maybe that's just how they are.
- 13:32Yeah.
- 13:33And they just, they're so innocent.
- 13:36So they don't judge you.
- 13:38They just are curious to know why you're doing it.
- 13:41You know, so moving here, it was the best decision.
- 13:45It was the best decision.
- 13:46Can you take me back to when you came to study?
- 13:49Do you remember like arriving in Cambodia for the first time?
- 13:52I remember.
- 13:53Tell me.
- 13:54I remember.
- 13:55I went to Cihanna Quill.
- 13:57It's a city near to the...
- 14:01So we're in Pannam, there is a city Cihanna Quill.
- 14:03Okay.
- 14:04Yes, I was living there.
- 14:05Okay.
- 14:06Yes.
- 14:07So for me, I was always dreaming to live by seaside.
- 14:12So it was like a dream to have a house and live in the seaside.
- 14:15Right.
- 14:16I only swam once.
- 14:19Once.
- 14:20I was so excited.
- 14:22I went to a...
- 14:23Yeah.
- 14:24I was swimming to pictures and that's it.
- 14:26And then I never come back again.
- 14:28I was like, I was dreaming.
- 14:30Yes.
- 14:31It was my dream to live that life.
- 14:33And then once I got it, I'm like...
- 14:35One time.
- 14:36One time.
- 14:37Yeah.
- 14:38But I really loved it.
- 14:40Loved it only people.
- 14:42Okay.
- 14:43But at that time, there was a lot of construction going on.
- 14:47Okay.
- 14:48Yeah.
- 14:49So I didn't see the beauty.
- 14:50But I could feel the islands and...
- 14:52Yeah.
- 14:53It felt different.
- 14:54And anything that makes me feel different, always excites me.
- 14:57It's a good thing.
- 14:58It's a good thing.
- 14:59Yeah.
- 15:00So I liked it.
- 15:01At the same time, I didn't like it.
- 15:03Okay.
- 15:04Yeah.
- 15:05Because at that time, I was young.
- 15:07And as I said...
- 15:08At that time, you were young.
- 15:09Sorry.
- 15:10You're still young.
- 15:11Younger.
- 15:12That's my English.
- 15:13Sorry.
- 15:14You're a baby.
- 15:15Well, baby.
- 15:16Yeah.
- 15:17When I was a more baby.
- 15:18Yes.
- 15:19So I felt life in a Kazakh way.
- 15:22Okay.
- 15:23I call it myself.
- 15:24Yes.
- 15:25My Kazakh version.
- 15:26Yes.
- 15:27And yeah, I was thinking how I'm going to be successful in this place.
- 15:31It's more peaceful, quiet.
- 15:33And I've met people.
- 15:35The richest people I've met were in Santaquil.
- 15:37Okay.
- 15:38Yes.
- 15:39And they were saying we were working for 40 years in a huge company.
- 15:43We got everything.
- 15:44But we are here.
- 15:46And think about it.
- 15:47Because they wanted to give me a device.
- 15:48Right.
- 15:49Right.
- 15:50But I was like, no, something wrong with that.
- 15:52Daily, they're lies.
- 15:53I want to stress.
- 15:54I want to success.
- 15:55I need that.
- 15:56Right.
- 15:57Yeah.
- 15:58And maybe I stayed there for one and a half year.
- 16:01Okay.
- 16:02Yes.
- 16:03And I went back to Kazakhstan.
- 16:04Right.
- 16:05I realized.
- 16:06Okay.
- 16:07They were right.
- 16:08And maybe they gave me something more like they opened my eyes more to see.
- 16:14Yes.
- 16:15And definitely by talking with them.
- 16:18It helped me a lot.
- 16:19Once you realize that your passion was dancing, that's what you wanted to pursue.
- 16:24And you tell your family, I'm leaving.
- 16:26What is their reaction?
- 16:31My family, as I said, they're so supportive.
- 16:35Whatever I choose, they're like, if that makes you happy, go for it.
- 16:38Amazing.
- 16:39Yes.
- 16:40I think that's why I'm a little bit.
- 16:42Could feel the difference between me and my friends in Kazakhstan.
- 16:46Because my family, when I was growing, they always said one thing.
- 16:50If that makes you happy.
- 16:52Okay.
- 16:53Whatever you choose.
- 16:54Are you an only child?
- 16:55I am.
- 16:56Is that visible?
- 16:58Are you?
- 16:59I am.
- 17:01It's interesting.
- 17:04It's also, I love that you acknowledge that having the support of that allows you the freedom
- 17:12to kind of pursue what you want to do.
- 17:14Because I think that sometimes people discuss things like, when we say people are brave or you have the courage to do something,
- 17:20we speak about it as though it's just from within.
- 17:23And I tell people, for example, you know, I opened my first restaurant and I'd never worked in hospitality.
- 17:28I had no idea what the hell I was doing.
- 17:30And if my dad didn't give me permission to fail, I don't think I would have had the courage to do it.
- 17:35So I think it's really where some people might be like, oh, you're so brave.
- 17:38Yes, there's a level of bravery.
- 17:39I'm not saying that.
- 17:40But I'm saying there's a bigger picture that allows you to have the freedom to kind of exercise your bravery.
- 17:46And it sounds like similar.
- 17:47You have your family that said, do what?
- 17:50Like give you permission to explore whatever makes you happy.
- 17:54As an artist, I always give credits.
- 17:57So everything you see right now, it's because of my family, they support it.
- 18:03It's not, it's not financially.
- 18:05Sure.
- 18:06It's something that they give you insight.
- 18:08Like the, you know, so it's very important.
- 18:11And would you say that that freedom to explore is not necessarily a stereotypical experience in Kazakhstan?
- 18:20Definitely.
- 18:21Okay.
- 18:22Definitely, because the families, they are also, let's say in culture, culturally,
- 18:30Kazakhs are more likely to judge something common, even as, as we Kazakhs, we know this.
- 18:36So we have even a word to say his kid is better than mine.
- 18:40Really?
- 18:41Yes, it's a, did you see, did you see him or her?
- 18:44Yeah.
- 18:45Yes.
- 18:46So this way of thinking, it's like kind of cuts your,
- 18:51how to say ability to observe you already since you're young, you already know the steps.
- 18:59So you finish the school, you go to the university, which everyone wants to go.
- 19:04Okay.
- 19:05So you don't have a choice.
- 19:06Right.
- 19:07Yes.
- 19:08So it's in a way like an old style of thinking.
- 19:10I'm not saying for everyone.
- 19:11Sure.
- 19:12Of course, the environment I stayed was like that.
- 19:17Maybe I didn't see other parts of Kazakhstan, but I'm sure 90% of people will agree with me.
- 19:24That's the vibe.
- 19:25That's the vibe.
- 19:26When you first came to Cambodia, you knew that it was going to be a fixed amount of time and then go back, right?
- 19:30Because you were just doing this course.
- 19:33As I said, I was depressed at that time.
- 19:36Right.
- 19:37Yes.
- 19:38So I didn't have any plans.
- 19:39I was just like blindly calling on like, whatever life takes me.
- 19:44When you came the second time in your mind, you're coming to stay.
- 19:49Yes.
- 19:50Okay.
- 19:51I was planning to stay.
- 19:52Was there a difference between the two times, other than the fact that I appreciate the second time you're seeing more development, you're seeing like more infrastructure, but in terms of your feelings towards the country.
- 20:05Yes.
- 20:06I think that's the, that's why I'm happy right now.
- 20:08Okay.
- 20:10Before coming to Cambodia when I decided to leave here, I was in Kazakhstan, but I knew that I will be accepted by people here.
- 20:19Okay.
- 20:20So that really matters for me.
- 20:22Yes.
- 20:23So I knew whatever it's going to be in the jungle or in the city, I don't care.
- 20:27There's people that are going to accept me.
- 20:29Okay.
- 20:30So yeah.
- 20:31So I came here.
- 20:32That's, that was the best decision I said it.
- 20:34You've visited so many other places.
- 20:36I'm wondering what was it about Cambodia?
- 20:38Is it just the acceptance or were there other things about the country that made you choose here over say a Thailand?
- 20:45Because everyone seems to be wanting to run to Thailand.
- 20:49Yes.
- 20:50I also, I was about to study in Europe.
- 20:53Okay.
- 20:54That was the actual plan.
- 20:55Yes.
- 20:56But once I felt this is not for me, this, it seems like right.
- 21:00Even when I said Europe, it sounds more like right for people.
- 21:04Okay.
- 21:05But Cambodia has something that is unique from all the countries I visited.
- 21:13I visited more than 15 countries.
- 21:15It has something that makes you not be different, but makes you more question yourself.
- 21:24Okay.
- 21:25Not like in a bad way, but more like what do you want?
- 21:29What do you want to eat?
- 21:30It has more opportunities and it has more freedom to be yourself.
- 21:37Okay.
- 21:38Yes.
- 21:39And it starts with small things like what do you want for coffee or what do you want to eat?
- 21:44Who do you want to meet?
- 21:45Because it's a lot of different people.
- 21:46Right.
- 21:47And I think we all here going the same journey.
- 21:50Yeah.
- 21:51I feel like we all are asking ourselves like what do you want to do?
- 21:55Not like we are not surviving.
- 21:58That's different because all other countries they are surviving.
- 22:01They need money to pay for the rent.
- 22:04They need money to pay the bills or they have kids that they have responsibilities.
- 22:09Here, it feels like a summer camp.
- 22:14It's like we are all here for the vibe.
- 22:17And you can, you could feel the difference.
- 22:20And what I like about Cambodia, I feel there is not like English speaking people separate,
- 22:27Russian speaking people separate, Kazakhs people to separate,
- 22:30and my people come here to separate.
- 22:33We all are together.
- 22:34Okay.
- 22:35Yeah.
- 22:36We are all together.
- 22:37And that's why the Cambodians, they have huge respect that they accept.
- 22:41Because you have to start in certain way to remove your ego and to accept other people.
- 22:48Right.
- 22:49So it means they are more connected to their hearts.
- 22:52And it just feels, it feels good.
- 22:55It feels good living here.
- 22:57Yeah.
- 22:58When you just arrived, was there a point where you went from like this honeymoon period,
- 23:03although you still said you want summer camp.
- 23:06So I'm like, has that energy just sustained?
- 23:09How long have you been here?
- 23:11It's been one and a half year.
- 23:13Would you still say that the honeymoon period is still there?
- 23:17It's not that it gives, it's not the honeymoon period yet since the beginning because honeymoon,
- 23:22it means you have a short time of period that satisfies you, right?
- 23:26Yeah.
- 23:27But here it's different.
- 23:28It's the struggles you face here.
- 23:31Okay.
- 23:32It's, for example, it's more like in the car, you know, when you have an accident,
- 23:36you have like an impact.
- 23:38An impact.
- 23:39Yeah.
- 23:40So it's the same here.
- 23:41An impact is bigger.
- 23:42Right.
- 23:43So whenever you face, it feels less dramatic, less painful.
- 23:48Yes.
- 23:49And especially when you have people around you that you feel like we're all, all the same.
- 23:55It feels all the same and we're afraid even if you have small struggles,
- 23:59because we do it.
- 24:00That's life.
- 24:01It cannot be all pink, right?
- 24:02What are some of the struggles that you've had moving?
- 24:04Wow.
- 24:06Well, she would stay positive because it's a lot.
- 24:12It's really.
- 24:13Of course.
- 24:14Like what?
- 24:15Because when you're in your own country, you know everything.
- 24:19Yes.
- 24:20So you don't think about small things.
- 24:21And even when you don't know everything, you know someone who knows everything.
- 24:24Yes, exactly.
- 24:25That is the thing I miss the most.
- 24:26Whenever I'm living somewhere else, I'm like, if I don't have the answer in Jamaica,
- 24:30I know someone else who has the answer.
- 24:32So, whereas I don't know anybody over here, so boy.
- 24:35Yeah.
- 24:36So here, it was hard.
- 24:38It was hard.
- 24:39Because first, I saw there is no dance studios here.
- 24:42Okay.
- 24:43Second, I was already living as a full-time dance teacher.
- 24:47So I said, oh my god.
- 24:49Maybe I'm going to just eat rice and drink coffee.
- 24:52But whatever.
- 24:54Money doesn't matter.
- 24:56Passion.
- 24:57Let's go hard.
- 24:58They said it, right?
- 25:00So yeah, I came here the first week.
- 25:03I said, my friend's place and like the money was spending.
- 25:07So I felt now maybe it wasn't a good decision.
- 25:12Sure.
- 25:13Yeah.
- 25:14You have to be brave at the same time.
- 25:16Stupid.
- 25:17To do brave things.
- 25:18Yes.
- 25:19Yeah, it's a stupid decision, but I'm so happy that I did it.
- 25:22So I said, on my friend's place and the week later,
- 25:26I just posted that I'm looking for any type of rumor studio to dance myself.
- 25:31And I've met a person who offered me a full-time dance teacher.
- 25:35Really?
- 25:36So I was like, that's a sign.
- 25:38Yes.
- 25:39No way.
- 25:40Is this a movie or what's going on?
- 25:42You just posted on Facebook.
- 25:44I was looking in a Facebook.
- 25:45Yeah.
- 25:46In a Facebook, there is like, yeah, like a page where you can write all the questions.
- 25:50Like where do I find this?
- 25:51Where do I find that?
- 25:52Yeah.
- 25:53So I went to a coffee shop to meet him and we were talking.
- 25:57I'm like, oh my god, that's so fast.
- 25:59It's been only a week.
- 26:01Yeah.
- 26:02And then the next day, I was starting working already.
- 26:06Wow.
- 26:07Because there is not much for teachers here.
- 26:09Okay.
- 26:10Yes.
- 26:11That doing full-time.
- 26:12Okay.
- 26:13So yeah.
- 26:14So I was on the right time.
- 26:15Yeah.
- 26:16And since then, I'm a dance teacher.
- 26:18That's crazy.
- 26:19Yeah.
- 26:20When you came, did you bring savings?
- 26:21I did.
- 26:22Okay.
- 26:23So did you have like a deadline?
- 26:25If I don't have this sorted by this time, then I'm going to go home?
- 26:30Yes.
- 26:31Okay.
- 26:32Yes.
- 26:33What deadline had you given yourself?
- 26:35Maybe one half months.
- 26:37Okay.
- 26:38Yeah.
- 26:39It's not long.
- 26:40You want to be very nice to yourself.
- 26:41But I was more like to go to just to leave here.
- 26:45Okay.
- 26:46So I know it's for a rice and coffee.
- 26:50Yeah.
- 26:51Yeah.
- 26:52Yeah.
- 26:53Yeah.
- 26:54Yeah.
- 26:55Yeah.
- 26:56Yeah.
- 26:57Yeah.
- 26:58Yeah.
- 26:59Yeah.
- 27:00Very cool.
- 27:01And then when you teach dance, what is the demand in terms of are you teaching?
- 27:06Young students are you teaching adults?
- 27:07What are you teaching?
- 27:08So when I came here, I started teaching as a ballet teacher for kids.
- 27:13Yes.
- 27:14Because I have a ballet background.
- 27:15Very cool.
- 27:16I was teaching dance classes here for adults, high heels.
- 27:20Okay.
- 27:21Yes.
- 27:22At that time, high heels weren't something wasn't a vibe going on here,
- 27:27because it was only few foreigners that would love to dance.
- 27:31Yes.
- 27:32And it was more focused on kids classes.
- 27:35Yes.
- 27:36And yes.
- 27:37How many times I said.
- 27:39And after a while, maybe after a year of build such an amazing community here,
- 27:45of dancers, because they are now a professional dancers,
- 27:48that now I'm fully focused on my adult classes.
- 27:52And I don't teach ballet classes anymore.
- 27:54Oh no, the point bubbles.
- 27:57Did you not really like teaching babies?
- 27:59I enjoyed a lot, but I think you need a certain experience to be able to talk to young,
- 28:07young humans, because they're more likely to observe a lot.
- 28:13So whenever if you come to the class and you have a certain energy,
- 28:16somehow kids, they feel it.
- 28:18Yes.
- 28:19You don't say anything, they feel it.
- 28:21Yes.
- 28:22And you have to be very careful.
- 28:24So it's not, you have more, you have to be more responsible.
- 28:28What you say, what you teach.
- 28:30I love that you realize that.
- 28:31Yeah.
- 28:32People parents need to hear it.
- 28:34Honestly, it's funny.
- 28:35I was talking to someone and I was like,
- 28:37this lady, she was cursing around her child.
- 28:40And don't get me wrong.
- 28:41My mouth can be dirty.
- 28:42But I rest of them, right?
- 28:43But around children, I would never think to speak, you know,
- 28:46the way I would speak.
- 28:47So an adult.
- 28:48And I was saying that it's not just the words.
- 28:50It's the energy, right?
- 28:51If you're angry and like, let's say I'm coming to you and I'm telling you a story
- 28:54about someone who annoyed me and I'm cursing,
- 28:57that energy around your child is not going to be healthy for them.
- 29:01And also, then it becomes normalized.
- 29:03That you live in a house where people show up and they're angry.
- 29:06I think so many people don't realize that it's not just, you know,
- 29:09what we're saying or doing.
- 29:10But it's like the energy of the room when it comes to children.
- 29:13True.
- 29:14But I think they realize, but it takes a lot of energy.
- 29:19So for example, if I go for a month, of course,
- 29:22I'm going to be a best teacher for them and a best teacher for their parents.
- 29:26But imagine working a year and you see them every day for five hours,
- 29:31let's say, and you start acting yourself.
- 29:33And we are not, let's say, the best way to handle our own emotions.
- 29:39Yes.
- 29:40But it's not only you, you're working with kids and they're waiting for you, right?
- 29:44They're, they're, they don't have this ability to know their emotions
- 29:49what they're going for, especially a dance you struggle a lot.
- 29:53Okay.
- 29:54You struggle a lot.
- 29:55You struggle a lot.
- 29:56Technique, yes.
- 29:57And when you dance, you're more likely close to get to yourself,
- 30:01because you always have to ask yourself what's going on.
- 30:04Why?
- 30:05I cannot do this.
- 30:06Like, you know, so it's a lot of talks in your head.
- 30:08Yeah.
- 30:09And young kids, they, when they do dance classes, they have the same talk as we.
- 30:12Yes.
- 30:13Maybe some of them are shy or maybe some of them think I'm not good enough.
- 30:17Right.
- 30:18And kids have this.
- 30:19Unfortunately, kids have this.
- 30:20Some sort of voices in their head.
- 30:23So when you teach for kids, it takes a lot of energy.
- 30:26Sure.
- 30:27A lot.
- 30:28Even though I love teaching, I don't think I'm the best.
- 30:30I represent it.
- 30:31Yeah.
- 30:32So when you say that when you dance and the challenges cause you to kind of.
- 30:40Be a lot more introspective, right?
- 30:42Yes.
- 30:43Like think about the inside.
- 30:44What has dance taught you about yourself?
- 30:47A lot.
- 30:48I wish I didn't see it.
- 30:51Yes.
- 30:52Because I remember when I stopped dancing, I had a picture of myself.
- 30:57Like, I'm so confident.
- 30:59Like, I can do anything.
- 31:00Oh, my God.
- 31:01I'm the prettiest.
- 31:02I'm that.
- 31:03I'm that.
- 31:04Yes.
- 31:05And then when I start dancing, first of all, you're in a room with other 30 women like you, right?
- 31:10And it's, you have a meter in front of you, which makes it worse sometimes because you can see you're not.
- 31:17You're not doing it right.
- 31:19Right.
- 31:20Yes.
- 31:21You cannot lie yourself that you're doing something right.
- 31:22But you see it.
- 31:23So you then it starts a talk.
- 31:25Okay.
- 31:26Why I'm not capable to do this.
- 31:28The answer may be all different.
- 31:31It can be to your confidence.
- 31:33Like, maybe I'm not good enough.
- 31:35Maybe I'm not the prettiest or maybe I'm just fat or maybe I'm too short or maybe the outfit is not good.
- 31:42Or it can be a technique.
- 31:45But to choose the other way, you have to be more professional.
- 31:50Right.
- 31:51And you have to divide when you are talking to yourself.
- 31:54Like first, if it's something about you or something that you can learn and study and become better.
- 32:00Yes.
- 32:01And most of the adults that come to my classes, I saw some of them that they were choosing the first option.
- 32:09Right.
- 32:10So even though I was there to support because it's a stress, it seems like all a fun experience.
- 32:17Unless it gets a little bit challenging.
- 32:20Right.
- 32:21So then it becomes not.
- 32:23So it's fun until it's not.
- 32:24Yeah.
- 32:25Yeah.
- 32:26And then they're like, I thought the dance is for fun.
- 32:28Like, yes.
- 32:29But you, you have to be to build your body.
- 32:34Right.
- 32:35To build nicely, to dance nicely.
- 32:37So then it gets a little struggle.
- 32:40But a teacher there to help your journey to become more softer, to support you and to build the confidence.
- 32:47Yeah.
- 32:48But before I was thinking to become a dance teacher, I didn't know all of these things.
- 32:52Right.
- 32:53I thought I'm just going to show the moves.
- 32:54Okay.
- 32:55Right.
- 32:56Maybe I'm going to help the moves.
- 32:57But I didn't thought it's going to go that deep.
- 32:59Maybe that's it now.
- 33:01Yeah.
- 33:02Is it through your own experience of forcing yourself to go deeper that you've now been able to recognize
- 33:09with other people that that's probably what's going to go.
- 33:12Not really, because I was dancing since I was a kid.
- 33:15Okay.
- 33:16And I also did gymnastics.
- 33:19Okay.
- 33:20So my vision of dance is different.
- 33:23Because I see it more like a proper lines, bodies, structure.
- 33:28Right.
- 33:29And the dance classes I give people sometimes they don't have a background in dance.
- 33:35Okay.
- 33:36So they face, they face different struggles.
- 33:39That's where I was thinking, because I, I didn't see their way, right?
- 33:44So it took a time, a lot of times to understand what they're going, going, experiencing what struggles
- 33:52they have.
- 33:53Yes.
- 33:54And once I realized, because it made me more mature in a way, because now, because as you, I
- 34:03talk a lot of people every day.
- 34:05So I meet different people.
- 34:07And I, certain way, the, like, develop to see people's potential.
- 34:13Sure.
- 34:14Or there's struggles.
- 34:15Even if they say it or dancing.
- 34:17Right.
- 34:18Yeah.
- 34:19So I could see, especially when they don't say, yes.
- 34:22And I'm, I'm there not to highlight their mistakes.
- 34:25I'm not there to highlight their struggles.
- 34:27I'm there to make it soft, easier.
- 34:30To make them to enjoy, to leave their room and to feel like, oh my God, is that me?
- 34:36Because that's the thing.
- 34:38When you start dancing, especially in my classes, you come just to dance.
- 34:41Right.
- 34:42Then you're like, okay, the teacher is going for that outfit.
- 34:45Maybe I should try something, right?
- 34:47But it takes a lot of process.
- 34:49Sure.
- 34:50It takes a lot of classes just to step up from your comfort zone.
- 34:54It, it sounds like so fast, but in reality, it takes a long time.
- 34:59Do you think your passion now is more in teaching or performing?
- 35:05Wow.
- 35:06I love that question.
- 35:09I was thinking just recently, I was thinking because I never thought I'm capable to teach.
- 35:16Okay.
- 35:17Yes.
- 35:18I was, my intention was to get money.
- 35:20Right.
- 35:21Yes, I was thinking I just need to survive.
- 35:23Yes.
- 35:24To get money from my dance classes, to be able to take classes.
- 35:28That's it.
- 35:29I was, I wasn't thinking that I could help so many women out there to get inspired.
- 35:34So now I would say I, I like it 50, 50.
- 35:41Okay.
- 35:42Yes.
- 35:43I cannot pick something you want.
- 35:44Sure.
- 35:45Because one is, when is one is missing, you have the other one.
- 35:48When the other one is missing, you have, so it's, yeah, I take energy from both ways.
- 35:53And in terms of for your own personal development, you said that you wanted to make the money so you could also take classes.
- 35:58Yes.
- 35:59Can you do that in Cambodia?
- 36:00And I'm not trying to be mean to Cambodia.
- 36:01I just don't know.
- 36:02Like when I think of dancers, I don't necessarily think, oh yeah, I'm going to come to Cambodia and get better.
- 36:08But I'm just interested in you being here.
- 36:11Are there opportunities in that space?
- 36:13For me, there is no, not opportunity.
- 36:17There's no opportunities for me because I'm not just the beginner.
- 36:22I'm already a professional dance teacher, dancer, and I have my own style.
- 36:27Right.
- 36:28So whenever I go to other teachers, I go someone that has my vision.
- 36:32Right.
- 36:33So it's harder because it makes your option less and less and less.
- 36:36There is some dance classes here. They are good.
- 36:38Right.
- 36:39But not for me.
- 36:40They're not in line with what you need.
- 36:41Yes.
- 36:42Yeah.
- 36:43Yeah.
- 36:44Yeah.
- 36:45So it is harder.
- 36:46At the same time, there is so many workshops.
- 36:47Okay.
- 36:48In Thailand, in Vietnam.
- 36:49So do you go elsewhere?
- 36:50Yes.
- 36:51Okay.
- 36:52I do.
- 36:53So you'll go to neighboring countries and do a workshop.
- 36:56Yeah.
- 36:57Do workshops.
- 36:58Okay.
- 36:59And the workshop teacher there from Australia, from America, over from Europe.
- 37:03Yes.
- 37:04Do you ever think, let me just go live in the country where there's the workshops all the time?
- 37:08I was thinking.
- 37:09Oh, I think you're so good too.
- 37:11We're having a session.
- 37:13Yes.
- 37:14You're like, okay, I got the way how she, I got her life.
- 37:18I got her journey.
- 37:19Yes.
- 37:20I was thinking, just recently, I was thinking, maybe should I move to Thailand or maybe
- 37:24should I move to Vietnam to leave there to pursue like my career full-time and.
- 37:30But no.
- 37:31Okay.
- 37:32No.
- 37:33No.
- 37:34No.
- 37:35Why?
- 37:36I'm going to stay here.
- 37:37Yes.
- 37:38Whatever it takes, it's going to be more harder to go somewhere to travel.
- 37:42But this is home.
- 37:43Yes.
- 37:44I'm staying here.
- 37:45Because of the people.
- 37:47It's not only the people.
- 37:48Okay.
- 37:49It's all the small things that makes a bigger picture.
- 37:53Okay.
- 37:54It's life.
- 37:55It's not just a year.
- 37:56It's every day, right?
- 37:57Yes.
- 37:58So it's the what you leave in every day.
- 38:00And every day, I enjoy living here.
- 38:02In every day, what you can do.
- 38:04Going, meeting people, getting taxi, going to the work, cleaning, paying your bills, anything
- 38:13that's small, gives you a bigger picture.
- 38:16And this small things, it's kind of a stress.
- 38:19Because you have to.
- 38:21I think anything is stress already for.
- 38:24And more for me, because I'm more artsy.
- 38:27Right.
- 38:28Yeah.
- 38:29So I'm more emotional.
- 38:30But even just from a career perspective, like don't get me wrong.
- 38:33If my children want to do something in the arts, I will 100% support them on the surface.
- 38:38I'll text you behind the scenes.
- 38:40I'm like, shit, why did they have to want to go and be creative?
- 38:43Just because I think it is, it's a harder path because it's not so easily defined.
- 38:48In the sense that if you tell me you want to be a doctor, I'm not saying that it's easy to be a doctor.
- 38:53But what I'm saying is I can understand the steps that my child needs to take in order to be a successful doctor.
- 38:59Right.
- 39:00Like I understand which schools they need to go to.
- 39:02I understand where they need to go and get an internship.
- 39:04It's just easier for my brain to understand.
- 39:06If they told me that they wanted to be a dancer, I was just like, it's so subjective.
- 39:11That's the other thing.
- 39:12Right.
- 39:13Like when you go into certain careers that are like exam based, you know, you need to score well on the exam.
- 39:19But with the arts, with the creative space, it's so dependent on opinions.
- 39:25It's also just not clear.
- 39:27And that would scare me.
- 39:28So, but I would be very conscious.
- 39:30In the same way, you're like, oh, with students that are kids, you need to be aware of your energy.
- 39:35100% I'd be aware of my energy that I'm not trying to steal my baby's dream.
- 39:39But I'm telling you as an adult, I would be so scared because I just think it would be harder.
- 39:44I mean, it's hard for me now.
- 39:45I don't know what I'm doing in this like creative space, whereas I did a law degree last year.
- 39:51Random.
- 39:52I just.
- 39:53Yeah.
- 39:54Basically, after I had my kids, my uncle reminded me that I always said I was going to be a lawyer.
- 39:59And I thought how crazy would it be to just have twins reopen a restaurant and then do a law degree?
- 40:04Like that would be mad, right?
- 40:05So then I was like, cool, let's do that then.
- 40:07Because then when my girls get older, and they tell me that they can't do something.
- 40:12Babes.
- 40:13Babes.
- 40:14Wrong audience.
- 40:15All moms are the same.
- 40:16Literally, right?
- 40:17And so I've thought about this in terms of the pursuit of a career in a creative space.
- 40:22And I think is it a case of your passion is so strong that it doesn't matter if you fail.
- 40:29Like, do you genuinely believe that?
- 40:30Do you think that if you didn't reach the heights?
- 40:33First of all, what is success?
- 40:35That's a backtrack.
- 40:36What does being a successful dancer mean to you?
- 40:41For me.
- 40:42Yeah.
- 40:43I think I'm already successful.
- 40:45Okay.
- 40:46Okay.
- 40:47Let's start from this because I think I have more opportunities than some people.
- 40:56Why I'm saying this?
- 40:57Because it can be so basic.
- 41:00But I think I can feel whenever I say this.
- 41:02It's home, food, the body that I'm capable to touch, feel.
- 41:09I have all my five senses.
- 41:11And I'm doing something that I really like.
- 41:14So what I need from life.
- 41:16I am successful because every day I think I'm just doing a dance teacher.
- 41:22Right?
- 41:23And it's crazy for me because when I was a kid, I wouldn't imagine myself teaching.
- 41:28I wouldn't imagine myself.
- 41:29Yes, I thought I'm going to be the same like a lawyer, whatever.
- 41:33A serious job.
- 41:34So I don't have to be serious.
- 41:37I'm not serious right now.
- 41:38I'm a fan.
- 41:39I'm creative.
- 41:40And I like that.
- 41:41Really enjoy that.
- 41:42But talking about your kids.
- 41:44Yes.
- 41:45And about being creative and artistic people.
- 41:49I think artistic people are the strongest people.
- 41:52Yeah, are strong because you don't have limits.
- 41:57So whenever you say a doctor, a lawyer, you have a certain way of box.
- 42:02Not a box.
- 42:03Let's say a way that you have, let's say, to shape it in that way to achieve something.
- 42:09But creative, it means you get wider.
- 42:11So you don't have something to touch to feel that makes you going to shape in a way.
- 42:15You have to always to follow your instincts.
- 42:19So makes you more emotional.
- 42:23Because you always, you don't know what to catch.
- 42:26You don't know, you don't have the tools to make you a better dancer or creative.
- 42:32Because the dancer, it's not about the movements.
- 42:34Because now I got the vibe.
- 42:36I got the vibe when I talk to people that are not dancing.
- 42:39So dancing, it's not something you do the moves perfectly.
- 42:42It's not something you look good visually.
- 42:47It has a vision.
- 42:48Everything comes from a vision.
- 42:50And vision comes from the way how you see life, the way how you feel.
- 42:54So a dancer means he took a long time to observe, to feel, to express.
- 43:01It makes you stronger.
- 43:03Yes.
- 43:04At the same time, you are so emotional, right?
- 43:08Because you don't have, as I said, the tools, the shape.
- 43:11There's, yeah.
- 43:12So we're not like an army.
- 43:13We don't go to a dance school and then become like a robot doing the perfect moves.
- 43:18Right.
- 43:19It's, it's a lot.
- 43:20What inspires your dance?
- 43:22My dance.
- 43:24That sounds crazy.
- 43:26Because I've never heard someone saying, as a dance teacher, I watch the other dancers.
- 43:30Okay.
- 43:31Talking the interiors.
- 43:32And I've never heard my answer, which makes me worried.
- 43:36I'm like, should I go to a psychologist?
- 43:40It's going to be so funny, but lines.
- 43:43Lions.
- 43:44Architecture.
- 43:45Okay.
- 43:46Yes.
- 43:47It's so really.
- 43:48Yeah.
- 43:49In more way.
- 43:50That's the thing.
- 43:51When I was in Europe, I saw some buildings and I saw the lines and I'm like.
- 43:57Is there, I feel sorry.
- 43:59It makes me feel something.
- 44:01Yes.
- 44:02And then it made sense after three years when I started teaching.
- 44:06I realized I like certain moves that requires muscles.
- 44:10Right.
- 44:11Yes.
- 44:12And the, the lines gives me.
- 44:14So there is an option if you dance a small or you make your movements big.
- 44:18Sure.
- 44:19And I like to imagine my movements as a, as a building in a way.
- 44:23Yeah.
- 44:24I hope it makes sense.
- 44:26I mean, it's surprising.
- 44:27I didn't know that's where you're going.
- 44:29But, but I get it.
- 44:30I mean, as far as surprising.
- 44:31It's all like what's going on.
- 44:32Is this.
- 44:33That's very cool.
- 44:35What does your day to day look like?
- 44:37So how often do you teach?
- 44:40Uh, now I teach maybe five, six times per week.
- 44:45Okay.
- 44:46Oh, before I used to teach maybe 20 classes per week.
- 44:4920.
- 44:5020.
- 44:51Okay.
- 44:52Maybe 15.
- 44:53Yeah.
- 44:54For a week.
- 44:55Because I was teaching adults and kids.
- 44:56I chose them right.
- 44:57But now I have only five class only.
- 44:59But in Cambodia, it's a lot.
- 45:01Okay.
- 45:02Because none of the dances here have so much opportunities for time to do.
- 45:07Yes.
- 45:08So I'm doing five, six classes.
- 45:10I'm also doing private classes.
- 45:12I do projects.
- 45:13Okay.
- 45:14Yes.
- 45:15I'm doing my own projects.
- 45:16Or I get invited to like today.
- 45:19Yeah.
- 45:20So my day looks like, uh, first of all, I order the best coffee.
- 45:26Why the best goods is cheap?
- 45:28It's only one dollar and the lady that gives me coffee.
- 45:31She's amazing.
- 45:32Yeah.
- 45:33Yeah, I love her.
- 45:34It's so I ordered at the same place.
- 45:38And then I just do my makeup outfit and then create choreography.
- 45:47Okay.
- 45:48I go to the studio.
- 45:49Sometimes I take classes here, my own.
- 45:51Okay.
- 45:52Yes.
- 45:53And then I give classes.
- 45:55It takes maybe three hours.
- 45:56Sometimes the longest was three hours.
- 45:59Yes.
- 46:00And that's it.
- 46:01I met my students.
- 46:02I talk, um, make videos.
- 46:04And then I edit the videos at home.
- 46:06Okay.
- 46:07Right.
- 46:08I enjoy it.
- 46:09Editing.
- 46:10Editing.
- 46:11Editing.
- 46:12Yeah.
- 46:13And then yeah, that's it.
- 46:14That's how my daily life looks like.
- 46:16Has your family visited you here in Cambodia?
- 46:18They are, they're living here now.
- 46:20They live here.
- 46:21They live here only.
- 46:22I was thinking where did it.
- 46:23I didn't know that was happening.
- 46:24Yes.
- 46:25As I said, everything.
- 46:27I'm only child.
- 46:28Yeah.
- 46:29So your parents live here?
- 46:30Yes.
- 46:31They live here.
- 46:32It's amazing.
- 46:33It is amazing.
- 46:34When did they move?
- 46:35But it wasn't like this.
- 46:36I just, I wasn't a family person till this year.
- 46:39This year.
- 46:40Yeah.
- 46:41I was living in Russia and other countries my own.
- 46:43Okay.
- 46:44Starting from 1415.
- 46:45Okay.
- 46:46And this is the only year when I realized, oh my god, my family is my best friends.
- 46:50You know what?
- 46:51I got it.
- 46:53Yeah.
- 46:54Everyone talks a lot about the Cambodian family structure being like really important.
- 46:58Yeah.
- 46:59Do you think that that influenced your perception and your relationships with your own family?
- 47:03Well, I think in Kazakhstan, we also have a very strong, strong, strong way, the way family.
- 47:09Family, okay.
- 47:10We are very, very, very orientated.
- 47:11Kids and family.
- 47:12Okay.
- 47:13So there is two, three things.
- 47:14Kids, family, and how successful you are.
- 47:17Okay.
- 47:18Yeah.
- 47:19So family comes first.
- 47:20Yes.
- 47:21Right.
- 47:22It's also family-oriented country because everyone goes with the family, with the group.
- 47:2810, 15 people.
- 47:29Yes.
- 47:30But I wasn't like that.
- 47:31Okay.
- 47:32I'm very, very different from my family.
- 47:35I like to be alone, solo, I don't call, don't text.
- 47:40Maybe once, you know, two months, I call my own and like, you know, so how do they end up moving here?
- 47:47They end up moving here because they also like Cambodia.
- 47:49We traveled, yes, we traveled together.
- 47:52When we visited Cambodia for the first time, it was with my family.
- 47:56Right.
- 47:57Yeah.
- 47:58And they just love it here as well.
- 48:00Yeah.
- 48:01I think by meeting people here in Cambodia, you will notice that everyone may be similar, they say similar things about Cambodia.
- 48:10Yeah.
- 48:11That every, what's the, the main thing everyone feels good.
- 48:16Right.
- 48:17So we wouldn't stay here if it didn't feel good.
- 48:19I think there's a similarity that I have seen that there's a lot of people who are comfortable by themselves who moved to Cambodia.
- 48:26Yeah.
- 48:27Like everyone says that in the same way that you've just described like, I was fine being by myself.
- 48:31There seems to be, I think the word isolated sometimes gets a negative connotation.
- 48:37And I don't mean it negatively.
- 48:38I got it.
- 48:39But I think people, a lot of the people that I have spoken to who are moving to Cambodia, they're really comfortable just in their own like secluded space.
- 48:49I would say differently.
- 48:51Okay.
- 48:52Okay.
- 48:53I would say differently.
- 48:55Not isolated.
- 48:57But we came here as isolated because we came here from different countries.
- 49:05When something didn't work for us in our countries, it might be at least for my surroundings.
- 49:10And when we came here, we're isolated at the same time, we are not forced to change it.
- 49:15We're not forced to change our world, not the way we live.
- 49:20We're not forced to change the way that we follow certain rules or we have to act certain ways.
- 49:27We're just so many different worlds living here.
- 49:30And the thing is, when you say isolated means you don't connect, you don't observe, you don't express with people, but people here are more likely to be connected with people rather than in other countries.
- 49:43Because we feel no pressure.
- 49:46When you are connecting, you know that this person lives his own world.
- 49:50So you're not forced to, I will explain.
- 49:53For example, I had a problem with Kazakhstan.
- 49:57My friends, they already have babies.
- 50:00So what can I talk about?
- 50:02A dance classes would be boring for them.
- 50:04They would be not interested.
- 50:06At least I could feel, right?
- 50:08Or coming here, people are interested because they have their own world and they know they're like solo.
- 50:17So they're like, what do you got?
- 50:20I'm like, my dance classes.
- 50:21And they're like, really?
- 50:22What is that?
- 50:23What's going on?
- 50:24And they would come to my dance classes to try.
- 50:28And I would ask for them what you do.
- 50:29And they're like, modeling or DJ.
- 50:31I would never question a DJ in Kazakhstan what he does.
- 50:34Oh really?
- 50:35I would be like, it's a DJ.
- 50:37I have my friends.
- 50:38I said, right.
- 50:39What are you doing?
- 50:40It's like a DJ.
- 50:41I'm like, for what?
- 50:42And I could feel different worlds here.
- 50:45The fact that your parents are here.
- 50:47Has that changed your experience of Cambodia?
- 50:49Because for some people, being away from their norm, their comfort zone is liberating.
- 50:56And I just wonder if your experience living here has changed at all since now your family is here?
- 51:03Well, I was living here alone as well in Cambodia and my family were in Kazakhstan.
- 51:10Right.
- 51:11And now we're together.
- 51:12And there was other countries where I lived alone.
- 51:15And yes, it is frustrating.
- 51:19It is hard at the beginning.
- 51:21Okay.
- 51:22But once you got the comfort zone.
- 51:23And you get your rhythm.
- 51:24Yeah, you got your freedom.
- 51:25You got your rhythm.
- 51:26You would never, never sell your freedom for something.
- 51:30Yes.
- 51:31And Cambodia is more, as I said, more makes your journey soft.
- 51:37So it kind of protects you.
- 51:39Okay.
- 51:40But people right here, right here, people here, they also, they are also alone.
- 51:47Okay.
- 51:48So they don't, some of them don't have families here.
- 51:51So we built a family here.
- 51:54Yeah.
- 51:55So your friends don't become your family, but they are more likely to do what family do for you.
- 52:02Sure.
- 52:03Yeah.
- 52:04So they're not going to be there 24 seven, right?
- 52:06So whenever you need them, one call, they're there.
- 52:10They're there for you.
- 52:11And you don't even need the call because you could feel the.
- 52:15That there's something.
- 52:16There is something.
- 52:17Yeah.
- 52:18You could feel the support.
- 52:19And in other countries that I lived, I didn't feel that way.
- 52:21Okay.
- 52:22Yeah, I felt alone.
- 52:23I felt like, oh my god, I'm struggling a lot.
- 52:26I need my family.
- 52:27I need my help.
- 52:28Yes.
- 52:29But here, it's, it's easier.
- 52:31Is there anything culturally that you had to get your head around in those earlier, like months when you just moved?
- 52:39Sitting in like culturally.
- 52:40Yeah.
- 52:41That was very different in Cambodian culture that you had to adjust yourself because a lot of times, you know, we're in this age where people are moving a lot more than they did.
- 52:50And you have a certain type of person who, when they moved to someone else's country, they expect that country to change to kind of suit them.
- 52:59You don't have that energy at all.
- 53:00Your energy says, I know that I'm coming to your country and I'm going to adjust so that I make it work.
- 53:05And I'm just wondering, were there any things that you had to kind of change your way of thinking or your mindset because you appreciated that this is the Cambodian way?
- 53:13Yes.
- 53:14Okay.
- 53:15Oh, that's a good question, too.
- 53:16I like it.
- 53:17But why is that surprise?
- 53:18You don't think I can come up with some good questions?
- 53:20I'm just enjoying our talk.
- 53:22Oh, I didn't thought I, I love to talk.
- 53:26Give me more time to talk.
- 53:28Yes, I struggled.
- 53:31I have this bad habit in me.
- 53:34I hurry.
- 53:35Okay.
- 53:36Even though I've never beyond time, but I hurry.
- 53:39Right.
- 53:40Right.
- 53:41And when you hurry, I realized that's where I got the depression from because you hurry.
- 53:45You don't leave your life.
- 53:46You're like fast, fast and you get yourself in a stress out of nowhere.
- 53:50Yeah.
- 53:51Where you could start a time management to proper like structure your time properly.
- 53:59Yeah.
- 54:00And here in Cambodia, there is no time management.
- 54:03Okay.
- 54:04But there is more to do everything slowly.
- 54:07Okay.
- 54:08Just slowly.
- 54:09Yes.
- 54:10And at that time, it was very, very annoying for me because I'm the person who needs to see people are working.
- 54:20I need to see the callus.
- 54:21I need to see them struggling a little bit.
- 54:24So I could feel they're also putting their all energy into it.
- 54:28That's how I thought.
- 54:29But here, people love to do it, but they are not going to die for it.
- 54:34You don't have to give part of you every day just to do what you like.
- 54:39Sure.
- 54:40They're taking everything slowly.
- 54:41Yeah.
- 54:42So they're like more emotionally intelligent.
- 54:46They're more slowly and they have time.
- 54:49I feel like they don't need to put things when you have, for example, a space.
- 54:57When we talk, we don't have a time when we are just take part.
- 55:01Sure.
- 55:02But when you talk to Cambodians, they can be quiet for 10 minutes.
- 55:06Yeah.
- 55:07And it's crazy.
- 55:08Yes.
- 55:09But it's not only about the talk, but the way of how you leave.
- 55:12Because when you do nothing in a home, is there anyone who is sitting at home like for 13 minutes like this?
- 55:18Not right?
- 55:19No.
- 55:20That's the thing.
- 55:21Isn't it crazy?
- 55:22How we never stop to do anything?
- 55:24Even the phone.
- 55:25You're still doing something.
- 55:26Yeah.
- 55:27You're working.
- 55:28And I think that's why we sleep.
- 55:30Not good.
- 55:31But people here, they have a very good, good sleeping schedule.
- 55:36They go to bed at nine.
- 55:38Wake up at five a.m.
- 55:39Okay.
- 55:40Yes.
- 55:41And one morning at five in the morning.
- 55:42Yeah.
- 55:43And the morning.
- 55:44Wow.
- 55:45Their morning starts at five at six.
- 55:47Okay.
- 55:48Six to nine.
- 55:49Because my morning starts at 11.
- 55:5110, 11 and then 12, lunch.
- 55:53That's it.
- 55:54Right.
- 55:55I had two hours for morning.
- 55:57Yeah.
- 55:58And I just realized I was observing.
- 56:01And they're like, they could sit.
- 56:02They could talk.
- 56:03And it feels very slowly.
- 56:05And it feels good.
- 56:07But at the same time, I don't think I am that kind of person.
- 56:10But I still need the movements.
- 56:13I need to still the energy, let's say.
- 56:16Yeah.
- 56:17And I'm still learning.
- 56:18Yeah.
- 56:19And I hope one day I could just feel just see.
- 56:23Yeah.
- 56:24I mean, I'm with you.
- 56:25I believe in it.
- 56:26But I'm not sure how easy I would be able to do it.
- 56:29I think it makes complete sense.
- 56:31And I agree with you 100% on the rushing.
- 56:33The rushing also starts from like kids.
- 56:36I see people all the time.
- 56:37Everything is rushing.
- 56:38I don't need to rush anywhere.
- 56:40And it's funny in like.
- 56:42When my daughter, she's trying to open the door like to the hotel.
- 56:45And so she's using the key.
- 56:46Yeah.
- 56:47And she's struggling.
- 56:48So it's taken a bit of time.
- 56:50And everyone's like, okay, well, I'll just do it.
- 56:52And I'm like, no, she's not getting frustrated.
- 56:55Right.
- 56:56So let her in her own time.
- 56:57If she's frustrated, then we can help.
- 56:59And eventually she opens the door.
- 57:00It took about 20 minutes.
- 57:01But she eventually opens the door.
- 57:03And she's super happy.
- 57:04And where are we going?
- 57:05We're just going inside a hotel room.
- 57:07We're rushing inside to go into the hotel room.
- 57:10But I think that again, maybe it's like a Western influence thing.
- 57:14This idea that we always have to kind of be productive and moving.
- 57:18In the UK, it rushing is a thing.
- 57:21Even the way people walk on the sidewalk.
- 57:23It's just still.
- 57:24It feels like you could tell they have somewhere to go to go.
- 57:28And they probably have nowhere to go.
- 57:30Maybe.
- 57:32Do you love food?
- 57:33How's food?
- 57:34Do you like food?
- 57:35Or is food not a big deal in your life?
- 57:37I love food.
- 57:38Yeah.
- 57:39And come on, they have all the foods.
- 57:40All the cultures.
- 57:41I was surprised how much international food is here.
- 57:44Yeah.
- 57:45What is food from your home country?
- 57:47Do you have a national dish?
- 57:48We do.
- 57:49It's called Besparmak.
- 57:50Okay.
- 57:51So it means you have five fingers.
- 57:54And you eat your food with five fingers.
- 57:56Okay.
- 57:57Yeah, it's made from meat.
- 57:59And like pasta, let's say.
- 58:01Yeah.
- 58:02And it's very oily.
- 58:04Okay.
- 58:05And we eat everything with meat.
- 58:07Right.
- 58:08So if there is a salad, it should be with meat.
- 58:10Yeah.
- 58:11If there is no meat, it means you're not eating.
- 58:13Yeah.
- 58:14So you do well here because there's meat everywhere.
- 58:17I eat everything.
- 58:18Okay.
- 58:19Yeah.
- 58:20I eat everything.
- 58:21And I enjoy local food.
- 58:23Okay.
- 58:24I enjoy it a lot because it's rice.
- 58:26It's a little bit of meat.
- 58:28Egg and vegetables.
- 58:30Yeah.
- 58:31If you were describing life abroad, not necessarily Cambodia, but someone who is curious
- 58:37about moving, what would you say to them?
- 58:40Just in general.
- 58:41Yeah.
- 58:42I think talking about the box, this is the way you could see that there is other worlds.
- 58:52There is other people.
- 58:55Because when you live in one country, you see the same people.
- 58:58Okay.
- 58:59The stories might be a little bit different, but it's not going to change a perception
- 59:03of how you see your life.
- 59:06When you travel, you're going to meet a new version of yourself.
- 59:11So in different countries, I found myself different because my different personality
- 59:16is pop up.
- 59:17And it's not something I already had in me.
- 59:20Some of them, yes, but some of them, they just build it like the confidence.
- 59:24And come out of nowhere, right?
- 59:26You build it.
- 59:27So the same, you build a new version of yourself.
- 59:30And that's why people love to travel.
- 59:32Because when you travel, even if you stay in your hotel, but you see new buildings,
- 59:38you see new faces.
- 59:39And somehow you start to see the difference.
- 59:42And you talk.
- 59:44Everyone talks in their head.
- 59:45And they see what makes that difference.
- 59:48This plays why it's different from my country.
- 59:50Sure.
- 59:51Why people, they walk fast in London, then in my hometown.
- 59:55Right.
- 59:56So you think you start to think a lot.
- 59:59You start to enjoy life more.
- 1:00:02You people love new.
- 1:00:05They just love new.
- 1:00:07And by, we were talking about brushing, I think, yeah, because people
- 1:00:11they don't want to accept what they have now.
- 1:00:13They just want something.
- 1:00:15They want it.
- 1:00:16And travel, it's the best.
- 1:00:18It's when you travel, everything is new.
- 1:00:21You got the excitement.
- 1:00:22You got the adrenaline.
- 1:00:23You got all the goosebumps.
- 1:00:25It feels like a honeymoon.
- 1:00:27Yeah.
- 1:00:28How are you different, the Cambodian version of you?
- 1:00:32The Cambodian version of me.
- 1:00:33Yeah.
- 1:00:34I don't say Cambodian version of me.
- 1:00:36I say when I speak English, it's a different version of me.
- 1:00:39Yes.
- 1:00:40Okay.
- 1:00:41Tell me how you're different speaking English.
- 1:00:43So in English, I'm more fun.
- 1:00:46I'm more fun.
- 1:00:48Yeah, I'm more like a confident, sexy and very cool.
- 1:00:52Fine.
- 1:00:53Yeah.
- 1:00:54Going out, extrovert.
- 1:00:55When I speak my language, I become the strict woman you've ever seen in your life.
- 1:01:01Yeah.
- 1:01:02I'm like a teacher, like a proper teacher.
- 1:01:04I wouldn't talk.
- 1:01:05I wouldn't smile.
- 1:01:06I don't know why.
- 1:01:07It's just crazy.
- 1:01:08And that's really interesting.
- 1:01:09Yeah.
- 1:01:10Is there anything that you would have wanted to talk about or touch on that we haven't had in this conversation?
- 1:01:15Well, I would like to say welcome to Cambodia.
- 1:01:19I think it's going to change.
- 1:01:23It's going to add something more in your journey, because there is, as I said, we traveled a lot.
- 1:01:31And when I was talking to people, locals or foreigners in different countries, I would learn.
- 1:01:37I would take something, right?
- 1:01:39In Cambodia, it's very unique.
- 1:01:41It's very unique culture and people that live here are very unique.
- 1:01:46And even if their energy is different, but once you get to know their stories, it would, in a way, inspire you.
- 1:01:54Or it feels, I would describe it as a movie.
- 1:01:58It feels like you're living a life in a movie where everything feels not real, because it feels good.
- 1:02:06Yes.
- 1:02:07Especially when you come from the country where you struggled.
- 1:02:11So it feels like it feels not boring.
- 1:02:17But it feels you cannot believe that it's something good could happen so fast, so quick, we're just coming here.
- 1:02:26And I'm really glad that you came here.
- 1:02:29I appreciate that you invited me.
- 1:02:32One question.
- 1:02:33If you're a life with a postcard, what would the picture be?
- 1:02:36A postcard.
- 1:02:37Yep.
- 1:02:38What is a postcard?
- 1:02:39So you send back in the day, you are very young.
- 1:02:41You send, you used to travel, you'd buy a card and it has like a picture.
- 1:02:45So you might have like the big band in London, or you might have Monument Square here.
- 1:02:49But if you had to sum up your entire life into one photo, what would the picture look like?
- 1:02:54Wow, a picture of myself, right?
- 1:02:56If you want, some people don't put themselves in there.
- 1:03:00Can I put everything?
- 1:03:01You can put anything.
- 1:03:02All of it.
- 1:03:03I'm feeling everything.
- 1:03:05Would you be dancing in the picture to sum up your life?
- 1:03:09I would be showing my favorite pose.
- 1:03:12Dancing is okay, but I'm like, I want to be pretty in my postcard.
- 1:03:17Are you on the beach?
- 1:03:19Are you in a city?
- 1:03:22For sure, there should be elephant.
- 1:03:24Yeah, because I feel Cambodia.
- 1:03:26So, you know, a postcard makes sense.
- 1:03:29Me, next to the elephant, maybe I'm fitting it.
- 1:03:34Okay.
- 1:03:35Lots of, maybe in the jungle.
- 1:03:38Yeah, in the jungle.
- 1:03:39Because I love nature.
- 1:03:41I love nature a lot.
- 1:03:42And I really want to put Montagne.
- 1:03:45Don't question.
- 1:03:46Jungle Montagne.
- 1:03:47Yes, that's how I feel.
- 1:03:48You can have everything you want to be.
- 1:03:49I feel like it gives the, a wild life.
- 1:03:52Like, I don't know.
- 1:03:53Colorful.
- 1:03:54Amazing.
- 1:03:55Yeah.
- 1:03:56Thank you very, very much.
- 1:03:57Thank you for having me.