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Overcoming Self-Doubt and Fear of Incapacity in the Spiritual Endeavour · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  Spiritual seekers throughout the ages have been confronted with
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  internal anguish about whether they actually have the capacity
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  and ability to succeed in their spiritual endeavour.
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  They go through periods of enthusiasm and joy as they feel
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  the spiritual force working in them bringing them insights,
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  spiritual experiences and what appears to be progress.
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  When these periods are abated for some time they may be
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  subject to doubt, despair or depression as they feel they may
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  be unfit. This oscillation between the two
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  states is due to first of all ego attachment and vital seeking
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  that creates a desire or ambition to succeed, sets
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  parameters for what constitutes success and then reacts if these
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  self defined objectives are not being met.
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  The operation of the gunas rajas fueling the vital ambition and
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  enthusiasm and Thomas the consequent falling back into
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  doubt and despair drives these reactions in various places.
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  Sri Aurobindo describes the transformation of consciousness
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  as a dual action of ascent and integration.
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  During the times of ascent, the experiences come and make
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  themselves felt. During the times of integration,
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  these experiences recede as the force works behind the scenes to
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  modify the mind, the vital being, and the physical frame to
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  hold and utilize it for the transformation.
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  During the times of integration or assimilation, the surface
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  being does not believe anything is being done as it cannot see
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  or feel it. This is simply a mistaken
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  impression. Sri Aurobindo therefore asserts
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  that he who chooses the infinite has been chosen by the infinite,
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  implying a divine sanction for the individual that comes from
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  the spiritual plane and is not driven by the ego motivations of
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  the individual. The work of transformation of
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  human nature is not something to be done in a day, nor by
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  individual effort. It is the process of the
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  evolution of the next stage of consciousness, which necessarily
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  has to work out a lot of obstructions, obstacles,
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  resistances and distortions that exist in our present human
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  nature. If the individual moves away
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  from the ego standpoint to the divine standpoint, the need for
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  internal self doubt disappears in a work that may take decades
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  or centuries. Applying A judgement term based
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  on an individual human life experience is bound to be
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  inaccurate and misleading, Sriorbindo writes.
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  Quote. The only truth in your other
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  experience, which you say seems at the time so true to you, is
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  that it is hopeless for you or anyone to get out of the
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  inferior consciousness by your or his unaided effort.
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  That is why when you sink into this inferior consciousness,
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  everything seems hopeless to you, because you lose hold for a
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  time of the true consciousness. But the suggestion is untrue,
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  because you have an opening to the Divine and are not bound to
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  remain in the inferior consciousness.
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  When you are in the true consciousness, then you see that
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  everything can be done, even if at present only a slight
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  beginning has been made. But a beginning is enough once
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  the Force, the Power are there. For the truth is that it can do
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  everything and only time and the soul's aspiration are needed for
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  the entire change and the soul's fulfilment.
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  End Quote. Reference Sri Aurobindo, Bases
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  of Yoga Chapter 2. Faith, Aspiration Surrender,
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  pages 33 to 34.