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The Invisible Load of: MODERN MOTHERHOOD & REDEFINING SUCCESS WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF · Sass & Small TALK

0:00
SPEAKER_04: Overworked myself for a long time just trying to do it all.
0:03
SPEAKER_04: At the end of the day, I don't want to be half a mom to my children and only give them like the crumbs that are left of me.
0:07
SPEAKER_04: If chasing my dream isn't being a positive influence to show them what you can achieve, but rather showing them like a tired, burnt-out mom, then it's not worth it.
0:16
SPEAKER_02: We nurture that in front of our kids so they can see.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: Motherhood is not just about exhaustion.
0:21
SPEAKER_02: It is okay to love yourself enough, follow your dreams, and it's gonna be hard.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:27
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna feel so good.
0:28
SPEAKER_04: The hard is hard, but the good is so so good.
0:33
SPEAKER_04: Worth every ounce of hard.
0:35
SPEAKER_04: Foreground?
0:35
SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh, I love it.
0:37
SPEAKER_04: Or the background of my own.
0:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to sound cool again.
0:42
SPEAKER_04: I gotta impress Nina to declare.
0:44
SPEAKER_04: Come on.
0:45
SPEAKER_04: I can't make multiple dishes without burning one.
0:47
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
0:48
SPEAKER_04: Or my people we can hate cooking together.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we can hate cooking together and not feel guilty about it.
0:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
0:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: When we think of modern motherhood, because you are carrying so much of a load, career-wise, and a desire to be a connected mom, how do you have room to be Betty Crocker?
1:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you sacrifice this?
1:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, choose your battles.
1:05
SPEAKER_02: And I'm glad you chose yours.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: We can just burn our food together.
1:11
SPEAKER_02: If you're doing it all from meltdown to task and still fighting to keep up that sass, friend, I got you.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: Hey, I'm Deb, host of Sassy Smalltalk, the mental load of parenthood, season two.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: As a mom of two smollies, navigating life with a neurodivergent family, and my own neurospicy brain, caregiving for aging parents, and trying to hold it all together with Grays.
1:36
SPEAKER_02: I know what it means to carry the mental, emotional, and invisible load of parenting.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: But here's the thing: we weren't meant to do this alone.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: This season, we're exploring the many faces of parenthood, from single parents to co-parents, blended families to chosen families, and everything in between.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: Right here in our beautiful city of Victoria, BC, and beyond.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: They're sharing real stories of overwhelm, grief, imposter syndrome, breaking generational cycles with the resilience it takes to keep showing up.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: Real parents, real families, real stories.
2:08
SPEAKER_02: Because it takes a village to raise a child and a community to raise their parent.
2:13
SPEAKER_01: Dallin, I need my sass back.
2:19
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Sass and Small Talk, The Mental Load of Parenthood.
2:23
SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Deb Bellino, and I'm ready to unpack the reality behind modern motherhood: raising a family while building a creative business.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: Today's guest is Nina Sinclair, a multi-award-winning internationally published photographer, educator, and visionary.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: From high fashion to branding to capturing intimate milestone moments, her lens finds the beauty and connection, emotion, and the human experience.
2:50
SPEAKER_02: Nina has built a thriving business while nurturing her family, showing us how creativity and motherhood can coexist.
2:57
SPEAKER_02: She's known for creating magical experiences in her studio and out in nature where her love for photography first bloomed, capturing families and stories against the breathtaking landscapes of British Columbia.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: Her story has come full circle from taping Vogue covers to her teenage bedroom walls to now being featured in British Vogue under her rebrand Ocean and Earth Photography.
3:18
SPEAKER_02: As a loving mother and partner, a loyal friend, a philanthropist, and a creative powerhouse, Nina brings the same nurturing heart she pours into her work back into her home.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: She runs her studio with creativity, intention, and a deep reverence for nature.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: And she parents with that same spirit.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: Today, she steps out from behind the lens to share her personal journey, offering us a glimpse beyond the snapshot into the mental load, the invisible weight, and the bold steps it takes to run both a family and a business.
3:47
SPEAKER_02: And the joy and love that fuel it all.
3:50
SPEAKER_02: This is Nina.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: Talk about an intro.
3:55
SPEAKER_02: This is all you, my friend.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: Holy cow! As I read this, I'm thinking, is this a real person in front of me?
4:02
SPEAKER_02: You are just You made me sound so nice.
4:05
SPEAKER_02: You are so nice.
4:07
SPEAKER_02: She is exactly the real deal, this woman.
4:09
SPEAKER_02: I am so humble.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: I can't believe you just you don't realize the just amazing talent that you are.
4:16
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I know you know you have to know, but it's just incredible to you.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: You're the sweetest soul.
4:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm just thrilled to to have you here.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: And I I gotta say, it was really hard to get in touch with one another.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: And I'm so glad we finally Well, thank you for having me.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm honored to be here.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for being here.
4:32
SPEAKER_02: You likely have about 300 emails that's waiting for you at home.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: Most of them for me.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: Thank God for Sarah.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: Thank goodness for Sarah.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Sarah.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: So we should just get started and get to know this wonderful woman.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: I always start with my favorite question.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: Oh, sits at your table.
4:48
SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's a that's a good question.
4:51
SPEAKER_04: I feel like there's two parts to that question because there's the business side and then there's the motherhood village side.
4:58
SPEAKER_04: And when it comes to the business side, Sarah, as I mentioned before, she's my saving grace.
5:04
SPEAKER_04: Um, she is my type A to my type B personality.
5:08
SPEAKER_04: Oh, perfect.
5:08
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she keeps everything going and she she keeps all my spreadsheets and all the emails, and she's amazing.
5:14
SPEAKER_04: And then we have a social media girl, Taylor, and then we've got a good team of second shooters, and and they are like my my table when it comes to the business.
5:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
5:24
SPEAKER_02: I love that you place them at your table.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: That's how important their role is.
5:31
SPEAKER_02: It's beyond just, you know, a paycheck or a role.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: It's it's essential to your life, right?
5:38
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
5:38
SPEAKER_04: Well, any great business, I mean, has everybody who who really shines in their zone of genius.
5:43
SPEAKER_04: And I realized a long time ago that I can't do it all.
5:45
SPEAKER_04: Um, and trying to do it all, I'm just spreading myself too thin, and and then I can't focus on what I love, which is the art of it, right?
5:51
SPEAKER_04: The art of it.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:53
SPEAKER_02: And now we're gonna talk about that personal table.
5:56
SPEAKER_04: Yes, yeah.
5:57
SPEAKER_04: So I've got some incredible friends who show up for me and the girls, and my best friend Beck.
6:02
SPEAKER_04: She's my my daughter's godmom, and she's amazing.
6:05
SPEAKER_04: And and then I've got a couple really good friends, Rowena and Nikki, and a few good gals.
6:10
SPEAKER_04: You got to chat with Rose, so you got to see how amazing she is.
6:13
SPEAKER_03: You didn't meet her.
6:16
SPEAKER_04: Awesome.
6:17
SPEAKER_04: My hubby, who we both are are very lucky to work jobs that we love, so we we kind of balance that together.
6:23
SPEAKER_04: Mama in law, and my mom's far, but I know that she she wishes she could be here a little bit more, but she when she can, she's here too.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: So you've got the mama figure there as well, grandmother, and then you have the two girls.
6:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:37
SPEAKER_02: So you have a full table.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: I do, I'm very and I love that you know that you can lean on your the aunties, the besties, yes, and yeah, you make it personal, you make it intimate.
6:49
SPEAKER_02: It's really important.
6:50
SPEAKER_04: I have each other's box for sure.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
6:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, community.
6:53
SPEAKER_04: And it takes a village to raise a kid.
6:55
SPEAKER_04: It really does to try to do it all, and you can't you can't be everything all at the same time.
7:00
SPEAKER_04: And they need those pillars of incredible women too.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
7:03
SPEAKER_02: And I love it.
7:03
SPEAKER_02: You've always been a like I've just I've been following you.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay, just side note.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: I just met this amazing woman for the first time in person.
7:12
SPEAKER_02: We've been interacting online and we kind of have the same kind of circle.
7:15
SPEAKER_02: We're kind of seeing some people that we know, especially Rowena, like you know, oh my gosh.
7:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was that was a coincidence.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: That was a coincidence.
7:22
SPEAKER_04: Oh, she's just a gem.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she that was a coincidence.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: When when I found out you were friends, of course, that was on a post.
7:28
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, what?
7:28
SPEAKER_04: You know Nina.
7:29
SPEAKER_04: This is amazing.
7:30
SPEAKER_04: I saw her at school and she's like, guess who I'm at?
7:33
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: I love how it just we all we can see.
7:36
SPEAKER_02: This is what I love about Victoria.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: Is that it's small and it's big, we get the big city vibe, but we also have this, you know, this, this, this cozy corner of like moms just like loving on each other.
7:49
SPEAKER_02: And what I love about you is when I see well, so I just met you today in person.
7:53
SPEAKER_02: And when I hugged you, I actually said these words.
7:56
SPEAKER_02: It's crazy.
7:56
SPEAKER_02: I said, You feel like home.
7:58
SPEAKER_02: Where did that come from?
8:00
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you smell good, you feel funny.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh, I just have this little cozy part in your neck.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: And it and it's it's so nice to be able to you just empower women in general, considering where you're at in your life, you empower other women, you champion other women.
8:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I'm very blessed and honored to have you here.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
8:20
SPEAKER_04: Well, so do you.
8:21
SPEAKER_04: You're definitely the same.
8:23
SPEAKER_04: I every time I see you like cheering people on, you do it with your whole heart.
8:26
SPEAKER_04: So thank you.
8:27
SPEAKER_02: Well, I have a lot to learn from all of you.
8:29
SPEAKER_02: I really do.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: And I have always been, we're calling the show how to love on each other because I'm just feeling I'm just feeling the love here.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: The biggest part of motherhood balance, but mostly being able to live this fulfilling life of creativity that you chose.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: And we're gonna dig into that because I this is crazy what you have done.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: That intro was no joke.
8:52
SPEAKER_02: I mean I had to cut it down.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: It was cut down because you have so much going on, but you could never have done that without the tools and the people, the community, the people you trust.
9:05
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
9:06
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, and when I did try to do it all, it was just a fast pass to burnout.
9:11
SPEAKER_04: Like you just, yeah.
9:12
SPEAKER_02: So you have experienced burnout.
9:13
SPEAKER_04: Oh, absolutely.
9:14
SPEAKER_04: Many times, yeah.
9:16
SPEAKER_04: Throwing in my first season.
9:17
SPEAKER_04: What did I do?
9:18
SPEAKER_04: I meant to.
9:18
SPEAKER_04: I actually originally was confused.
9:20
SPEAKER_04: But this was perfect.
9:21
SPEAKER_04: I feel like this was meant to be on this one.
9:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think so too.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: And plus you match my set.
9:25
SPEAKER_04: Aww.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: So this is really important.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: We gotta get you on here.
9:29
SPEAKER_02: All right, we're getting off topic because guess what?
9:31
SPEAKER_02: News flash, we're both ADHD.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: Can I just say this?
9:36
SPEAKER_02: Spicy, absolutely.
9:37
SPEAKER_02: A little spicy going on here.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: That's also an element to consider.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: So creative neuro, spicy brain.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: And I can absolutely tell because based on the inspiration behind, if you go to her website, you really go back to the roots of why you do what you do.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: And uh you you talk about your beautiful family, your your girls, and your love for nature.
9:58
SPEAKER_02: There is such a specific inspiration that you have that helped you build your business.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: So it's really important for you to marry the two.
10:05
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
10:06
SPEAKER_04: My original name was named after my mom and my grandma because they raised me.
10:09
SPEAKER_02: So Lily and photography.
10:12
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: And then we went into the fact that you love the ocean, you love the earth.
10:17
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
10:18
SPEAKER_04: That's the name was for I I loved Lily and photography.
10:22
SPEAKER_04: Like it's very special to my heart.
10:23
SPEAKER_04: And I I started it when I was 18, and obviously, like my mom and my grandma are like so special to me.
10:28
SPEAKER_04: And like I said, they raised me, so it was like to honor them.
10:31
SPEAKER_04: But then uh then I had two daughters and I wanted something that just like encompassed all of it, all everybody, like all the women in my life, small and big, that were like really, really important to me.
10:41
SPEAKER_04: And then it also kind of had just like a touch of my heart in there, too.
10:44
SPEAKER_04: So I love that.
10:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that's why I could tell you love what you do.
10:50
SPEAKER_02: You really do, and I I just I'm lucky, but it's not easy.
10:55
SPEAKER_02: No, there's no way it's not.
10:57
SPEAKER_02: There's no way I we could barely get ourselves connected.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the schedule isn't uh is a crazy one for both of us, and and so there has to be a way that you you know handle all this, and that's what we're gonna dig into.
11:10
SPEAKER_02: But let's start off with how you mother and parent at home.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: Like, do you have kind of a certain way that you have chosen to parent with the tools that you're given, with the time that you're given?
11:21
SPEAKER_02: How do you approach parenting?
11:23
SPEAKER_04: I uh that's a hard one to sum up, but I think if I were to like try to pick a word, I would say connected.
11:29
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
11:30
SPEAKER_04: The best way that I could like really sum it up.
11:32
SPEAKER_04: Connected parenting, is that yeah, like just for us that the most important thing is emotional connection and just space to to be them.
11:41
SPEAKER_04: We actually had the gift of discovering that we were neurospicy through my daughter.
11:47
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: So her first.
11:48
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
11:49
SPEAKER_04: And uh through her discovering her neurodivergence, we actually got to discover that we were also spicy too.
11:56
SPEAKER_04: So at 32.
11:58
SPEAKER_04: And after that, it really allowed us to create a home that was very like sensory friendly and just allowed us to give ourselves grace and let go of the masking and for her, but also for us.
12:10
SPEAKER_04: You're constantly learning as a parent, Ray.
12:12
SPEAKER_04: Like it never ends, and and becoming a mom has created more growth in me than anything ever could, but they help you discover yourself too on another level.
12:21
SPEAKER_04: And I think there are teachers, aren't they?
12:22
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, oh my gosh, yeah.
12:24
SPEAKER_04: I've I yeah.
12:25
SPEAKER_04: The the basis of that really help kind of center everything around, like creating a home that was very nervous system friendly, yeah, and peaceful, you know?
12:34
SPEAKER_02: Like that's a new concept for me.
12:36
SPEAKER_02: The idea of of calming your nervous system.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: I never really understood that until I experienced the ultimate burnout.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: It's not something that can just be fixed, it's something that has to be nurtured over time and finding the right tools that work for your body.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:51
SPEAKER_02: So you find that centeredness.
12:53
SPEAKER_02: So you found that the way to determine.
12:57
SPEAKER_04: Right.
12:57
SPEAKER_04: And by evolving.
12:58
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, for us, though, like our home is very happy and peaceful, and just like it feels like a space where the the kids and us can just unravel in the best way.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: So if you were to take a snapshot of what your family life is, why am I envisioning and it it kind of works with your aesthetic too?
13:16
SPEAKER_02: It totally works with your aesthetic.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm picturing the sunset in the foreground.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I love it.
13:21
SPEAKER_02: And then the kid or the background of our oh well, I don't know.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm trying to do it.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to sound cool a bit.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: I gotta impress Nina the declare.
13:28
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: But I could picture the kids running towards you, not away from you.
13:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: And I I've I haven't seen them because you protect them quite well, and I love that.
13:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and we try to keep them offline.
13:41
SPEAKER_02: But I have a film would be best.
13:43
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be joining that table.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: That's my bad.
13:45
SPEAKER_04: That's better.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: Because I feel like they there's there's a similarity with your with your girls.
13:50
SPEAKER_02: I just feel like I'm I'm envisioning that.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: This is the artist in me.
13:54
SPEAKER_02: I have to actually picture things.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
13:56
SPEAKER_02: And and so that the understanding that this is how our brains work, this is how we feel peace, this is how we can connect.
14:02
SPEAKER_02: And you literally disconnect from the world when you do this.
14:05
SPEAKER_02: I I'm just imagining that, right?
14:07
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I should.
14:08
SPEAKER_04: I definitely try.
14:09
SPEAKER_04: I mean, it's it's kind of hard the the balance between business and stuff, like especially in this day and age, half of our business is on our phone, so it's hard to like kind of put it down and and be present.
14:18
SPEAKER_04: But I do try to make a conscious effort when uh when I can.
14:22
SPEAKER_04: And our kids are pretty cool.
14:23
SPEAKER_04: So like we like to hang out with them.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: I like to hang out with them.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: I love that that's where the connection takes place.
14:28
SPEAKER_02: I love that too.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: And one would not assume this because you don't showcase, right?
14:34
SPEAKER_02: You're no, I'm not saying people who put I put I put my I put my kids on there and you actually take photos of families.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you can tell you love kids, right?
14:42
SPEAKER_02: So it's not about showcasing in a negative way, but you have made a conscious decision to separate, separate your account with them privacy.
14:50
SPEAKER_02: And so one would assume because you don't display it, you know, that maybe it's not as connected, but it is, and you can see that your the the light shines in your eyes when you just when you talk about them.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: It's a beautiful thing.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: I wish I could take a picture, but I can't take a picture of Nina Sinclair like that just be embarrassing.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: What am I talking about?
15:09
SPEAKER_02: You do a great job.
15:10
SPEAKER_02: You can just take a cell phone.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: So, how do you establish these boundaries?
15:14
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we're crossing over from work and play, you know, work and family, and you're not just coming from an outside place nine to five.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're not, or are you?
15:26
SPEAKER_02: Did you make time restrictions for yourself, any boundaries?
15:29
SPEAKER_02: How do you make it work so that home doesn't cross over or does it?
15:33
SPEAKER_02: Or not home, but business crossing over into your home.
15:36
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, into personal life.
15:37
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I mean, I've tried it all.
15:38
SPEAKER_04: Like I am as near as spicy as they come.
15:40
SPEAKER_04: Like my brain is ADHD to the full.
15:42
SPEAKER_04: So I've tried everything from time blocking to setting hours, but I've really realized that when it comes to my brain, I sometimes just have to flow when the creative spark hits and I have to run with it when I have the energy and the the ability to focus, and I have to kind of use that when it comes.
15:59
SPEAKER_04: I do find like after I drop the girls off at school, that morning time my brain seems to be the best.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: Okay, you found that sweet spot for yourself.
16:07
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it used to be a night owl thing before I had kids, but then I quickly realized that I can't do that anymore.
16:12
SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm very interested to know when do you shut the lights off?
16:17
SPEAKER_02: Do you have boundaries for yourself?
16:19
SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'm guessing.
16:19
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and I had to learn the hard way.
16:21
SPEAKER_04: Like that whole talk about nervous system burnout was a far too familiar friend for a long time.
16:26
SPEAKER_04: I used to like stay up till two, three in the morning and edit after I did the mom thing for the whole day.
16:32
SPEAKER_04: And then I would stay up late, and then I'd wake up again at like 6 or 7 a.m.
16:35
SPEAKER_04: and you know, do it all over again.
16:37
SPEAKER_04: And then my body just finally was like, enough is enough.
16:40
SPEAKER_04: And half my face went paralyzed three times.
16:42
SPEAKER_04: And that was like the major burnout where I was like, okay, I have to kidding me.
16:47
SPEAKER_04: No, yeah, it was just it was too much.
16:49
SPEAKER_04: My whole body just like shut down.
16:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, it was it was crazy.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: I am reacting this way because I have abused my sleep and my body a lot too.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: Because one thing that people may not understand with photography and video making and creating content and all that stuff, editing takes so much.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: So much time, so much time.
17:11
SPEAKER_04: And the screen does damage.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: It does damage too.
17:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I cannot believe that you experience so, but in a way it was a blessing because it was kind of like okay, this is a good thing.
17:20
SPEAKER_04: I had to learn the yeah, it was like a lesson that I had to learn the hard way.
17:24
SPEAKER_04: I was like, sorry, uh, it's okay.
17:26
SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's that's part of life, right?
17:27
SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's how we learn.
17:28
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I was stubborn.
17:30
SPEAKER_04: I overworked myself for a long time just trying to do it all, and then and then the ego takes a back burner and you're like, oh, I'm not supposed to do it all.
17:38
SPEAKER_04: I was never supposed to eat everything all at once.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: Is that when the village kind of popped up?
17:41
SPEAKER_02: I have to start asking for help.
17:43
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, exactly.
17:44
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
17:45
SPEAKER_04: Okay, yeah.
17:46
SPEAKER_04: So it was it was a good lesson.
17:48
SPEAKER_04: It was one of those things where it's inevitable, like you have to you have to learn to grow, right?
17:52
SPEAKER_04: So yeah.
17:53
SPEAKER_02: I love that you immediately responded to that for the sake of yourself and your daughters and your business too.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: You love what you do, so you don't want you want to be here for it, right?
18:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: So you made the conscious, I gotta rest so I can be the best person I can be.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:06
SPEAKER_02: Easy concept, right?
18:07
SPEAKER_04: But it's not easy for some of us creatives.
18:09
SPEAKER_04: It's true, but I don't want to be at the end of the day, I don't want to be half a mom to my children, right?
18:12
SPEAKER_04: I don't want to be like a shell and and only give them like the crumbs that are left of me.
18:16
SPEAKER_04: Not that I would ever want to choose, they'll always be my priority over everything.
18:20
SPEAKER_04: If chasing my dream isn't being a positive influence to show them what you can achieve, but rather showing them like a tired, burnt out mom, then it's not worth it.
18:28
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: Did you ever get to a point where you were where you felt like you were a half the half a shell of yourself?
18:34
SPEAKER_02: And it was that time when you're talking about burnout.
18:36
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
18:36
SPEAKER_04: A lot of businesses during COVID experienced some pretty intense.
18:40
SPEAKER_04: I woke up one day and lost like two whole years worth of weddings because I specialize in weddings and hit the ground running.
18:46
SPEAKER_04: And then I was like, oh, wow, I can only do so much.
18:49
SPEAKER_04: We survived, but how did you pivot?
18:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, for your business, for the money for like, I mean, what were you able to do?
18:55
SPEAKER_02: You have so much skill, but you had to stop the actual photo taking, or what what did you do?
19:02
SPEAKER_04: I think like the best thing that I've ever learned in business is to be fluid.
19:05
SPEAKER_04: I I specialized solely in weddings during that time.
19:08
SPEAKER_04: I just pivoted to families, and and that's when I started to open the doors to other sessions, not just weddings.
19:15
SPEAKER_04: And it honestly was again another beautiful silver lining because it gives me it all fills my cup in different ways.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: That's so funny you said that because with your you know family photos, I've seen your work in Instagram.
19:27
SPEAKER_02: I actually thought this is what you do.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: I didn't even know that the weddings because I came across your account around the pandemic time.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: That's when my that's when my scrolling increased.
19:37
SPEAKER_02: So and so that so you must have just felt so fulfilled because it's kind of marrying your life like to your art.
19:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was kids.
19:46
SPEAKER_04: It was a really good addition.
19:47
SPEAKER_04: It was something that I didn't know that I needed to explore more.
19:50
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I love shooting weddings.
19:52
SPEAKER_04: I'm a hopeless romantic.
19:53
SPEAKER_04: I love love.
19:54
SPEAKER_04: But when it comes to families, like that whole sensory dynamic really came into play with shooting families, and it allowed me to create like a space for families to unravel and create like a sensory aware environment for kids that there was no like pressure that we could just like play and create natural connection and also a space for other parents who are like spicy families who felt you know seen and heard and and their kids could just be them.
20:18
SPEAKER_04: So it was really rewarding.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
20:21
SPEAKER_02: It's so inclusive to have a service as simple as an what I mean by simple is like as basic as the need for photography.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: Like everybody wants photos.
20:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, memory.
20:33
SPEAKER_02: How often will you find a photographer who has this uh passion for making a safe space for families and kids?
20:42
SPEAKER_02: Especially Nora Spicy.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: I have a daughter who struggles, yeah, and I spent years and years.
20:50
SPEAKER_02: We would cut opportunities out like photo sessions and stuff.
20:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: But to know, like that just, oh, that just gets me in a place here that you are uh prioritizing making accommodations for family.
21:03
SPEAKER_02: You can make me cry.
21:05
SPEAKER_04: No, but it's true, right?
21:07
SPEAKER_04: Because like I feel like as parents, like all we want is for our kids to feel seen and heard and to like take the pressure off, right?
21:13
SPEAKER_04: Like for them to just be able to be themselves, yeah, and not have to worry about them masking or performing or like feeling dysregulated because they feel pressure, right?
21:22
SPEAKER_04: So, like, and we want those memories too, and we want them to be genuine, we want them to be them, and and in order for them to show up wholeheartedly as themselves, they have to feel you know, safe, yeah, and and welcomed and invited and and no pressure, right?
21:39
SPEAKER_02: So, this is how you run your family and your business, like this idea of like just let them be free.
21:44
SPEAKER_02: Would you consider yourself kind of a free range parent?
21:47
SPEAKER_02: I know we're connected, free range in the sense it's child led.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: Do you let that yeah, yeah.
21:52
SPEAKER_04: I would say definitely like the gentle parenting, gentle parenting, for sure, and very nervous system forward.
21:59
SPEAKER_04: My husband's car.
22:00
SPEAKER_04: Firefighter, too.
22:00
SPEAKER_04: So, like, we had to be nervous system aware with like his career as well, and totally it just all kind of goes hand in hand, right?
22:06
SPEAKER_04: It does.
22:07
SPEAKER_04: And then that's really wonderful.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: You married a hero, too.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: Come on, we're we got a hero here.
22:14
unknown: I love it.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: So then now you also have the idea of well, play.
22:19
SPEAKER_02: I think playing with them is also really important for you as well.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: Again, you connect in that way.
22:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I mean, we always wish we could play more.
22:25
SPEAKER_04: I have two dreams.
22:26
SPEAKER_04: Uh one dream of me for motherhood would be homeschool and have a homestead, grow our own garden, fresh food, and just play with my kids in the forest and by the ocean all day.
22:34
SPEAKER_04: Like that's the goal, right?
22:36
SPEAKER_02: Actually, that makes sense.
22:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:39
SPEAKER_02: We have the crunchy side.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: There's a word for that too.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: And I know it's not about the labels, but it is kind of like certain communities, right?
22:48
SPEAKER_02: That could really resonate.
22:49
SPEAKER_02: And it's it's funny how you see that as the dream.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: I see that as an unreachable entity.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: That way, totally.
22:55
SPEAKER_04: Like I don't know how to.
22:56
SPEAKER_04: Totally.
22:57
SPEAKER_04: And I don't even know how I could balance that lifestyle and the professional.
23:01
SPEAKER_04: I don't know about you, but in your spicy brain is dive all in, go go hard or go home.
23:05
SPEAKER_02: So it's like you would focus.
23:06
SPEAKER_02: You would set that farm up, or you're instead, you'd set it up, you'd be and then someone would call and you'd be like, Well, I love that though.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: And I think that could actually very much happen because you really are in this path where you're nurturing both.
23:18
SPEAKER_04: Oh, thank you.
23:19
SPEAKER_04: Right?
23:19
SPEAKER_04: You're like really just goal, right?
23:21
SPEAKER_02: Try to merge it, the two realities, right?
23:23
SPEAKER_02: It's not that's not easy to do.
23:24
SPEAKER_02: And I it's not I love that you're able to do this.
23:27
SPEAKER_02: And I think one of the things that really resonated with me was a quote, if you if you don't mind, can I something that really touched me that ties your personal, you know, and your family and your creative life together?
23:36
SPEAKER_02: And I always say, like, I was put on this earth to be these people's mom.
23:41
SPEAKER_02: Like that we are meant to be, we are so right for each other.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, is there a way I can marry it with this thing that like I have to scratch this creative itch?
23:51
SPEAKER_02: I do.
23:52
SPEAKER_02: It's like in my brain.
23:53
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: And how do I make it work together?
23:56
SPEAKER_02: When I read your quote, I'm like, oh, that's how you do it.
23:59
SPEAKER_02: So this is what I love.
24:00
SPEAKER_02: You said, I want an I quote.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: I want to, I even have it in Italian.
24:05
SPEAKER_02: It's a real quote.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's italicized.
24:09
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
24:09
SPEAKER_02: I want to teach my daughters the sky is the limit.
24:12
SPEAKER_02: Oh to chase their dreams and do what sets their souls on fire.
24:17
SPEAKER_02: Being a mother is by far the most important thing in my life.
24:20
SPEAKER_02: However, I want to show my daughters that they can do anything.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:25
SPEAKER_02: The best way to inspire them is to show them firsthand just what they are capable of.
24:30
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I knew you were gonna make me cry.
24:32
SPEAKER_04: Um, it's true though.
24:34
SPEAKER_04: I mean, like at the end of the day, I I just want them to do the things that make them happy, right?
24:40
SPEAKER_04: So if I can show them that, then that's a job well done for me.
24:45
SPEAKER_04: 100%.
24:45
SPEAKER_02: And and you're you model it every single day.
24:48
SPEAKER_02: Aw, you're so scared.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: You're modeling it every single day.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: And I have so much mom guilt because I'm on my computer and I'm getting preparing for this.
24:58
SPEAKER_02: So like to give ourselves grace and say, actually, we're teaching them something.
25:02
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's just it, right?
25:03
SPEAKER_02: It's not just nothing, it's they see the grind and they see the grind, and then so they see the hard work, but then it's going towards something that's just so important.
25:12
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and they see the passion behind it.
25:14
SPEAKER_04: Like, if I could choose between having a nine to five or I shut it off.
25:19
SPEAKER_04: I mean, both are great, and and at the end of the day, we're all just trying to do our best.
25:22
SPEAKER_04: And and if a nine to five is what works for you, that's amazing.
25:25
SPEAKER_04: Like, good for you for finding that, right?
25:27
SPEAKER_04: But for me, and like what I feel really hits home for us is my kids get to see the build, they get to see the highs and the lows.
25:35
SPEAKER_04: They get to see like me be so excited and come home from a shoot buzzing.
25:38
SPEAKER_04: And I know that buzz, right?
25:40
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna be coming on buzzing tomorrow.
25:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they better really be in bed.
25:44
SPEAKER_02: They can see tomorrow.
25:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, let's maybe tomorrow with buzzing.
25:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so they do see the reality of it.
25:49
SPEAKER_04: They do, yeah, they really do.
25:51
SPEAKER_04: And like they have come to shoots with me for like magazines and stuff like that.
25:54
SPEAKER_04: They were pretty little.
25:55
SPEAKER_04: The dream is I mean, we got to see kiddo here help set up, and I'm like, that's amazing.
26:00
SPEAKER_04: Like, I want that from my kids too, right?
26:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that would be easy for you to do because you keep your office home.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: Close to home.
26:07
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
26:08
SPEAKER_04: Our studio is on our property, so that's pretty nice, and then they can come kind of check it out.
26:12
SPEAKER_04: But yeah, I love that.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: I also think it's just wonderful too, because you're already homeschooling in a way, too.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: Because you're showing them entrepreneurship, you're showing them balance, you're showing them, and what is balance really?
26:24
SPEAKER_02: We all know that's a especially with an ADHD brand.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: What is that?
26:29
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
26:29
SPEAKER_02: Somewhat of a balance.
26:31
SPEAKER_02: I think it's really important to be able to show show our kids that there's more to life than these titles, like and those are wonderful, very important titles that we grew up with.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: So I need to, I'm just so curious.
26:43
SPEAKER_02: Did you grow up having art as part of your repertoire all your life, like as a as a child?
26:48
SPEAKER_02: Like, did you always oh, okay, so you were exposed to this?
26:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
26:52
SPEAKER_04: I mean, my grandma used to paint and she makes incredible quilts.
26:57
SPEAKER_04: She's so talented, really, really incredible.
26:59
SPEAKER_04: And then my mom is art in itself.
27:02
SPEAKER_04: It sounds so silly.
27:03
SPEAKER_04: I remember just like driving in the car and listening to her sing, and just like she she could create anything out of anything.
27:08
SPEAKER_04: Like we'd go and we used to have a dirt bike when we were kids, and so we'd go.
27:12
unknown: Yeah.
27:13
SPEAKER_04: We used to ride the dirt bike.
27:14
SPEAKER_04: And with my brothers, when it was their turn, she would bring like paper and a glue stick, and that's it.
27:19
SPEAKER_04: And she would tell me, make a picture out of what you find.
27:22
SPEAKER_04: And so I'd like I'd have to get like little leaves and like sticks and things like that and glue them onto the paper.
27:27
SPEAKER_04: And she was just like really creative in in keeping me, you know, entertained.
27:31
SPEAKER_04: So yeah.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: So it did start in in your early years, it was nurtured.
27:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I definitely inherited it from them.
27:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
27:40
SPEAKER_02: Uh so academia, your nine to five, so that wasn't something you explored at all.
27:44
SPEAKER_02: You just went in straight into this world.
27:48
SPEAKER_04: I uh started my business when I was 18, so I didn't really know anything other than that.
27:52
SPEAKER_04: Like, I mean, I waitressed for a while and I loved it.
27:55
SPEAKER_04: I really love interacting with people, but that's good client practice for sure.
27:59
SPEAKER_04: Oh, absolutely.
28:00
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
28:01
SPEAKER_04: But I mean, as far as as that goes, uh yeah, I've never really known anything but this because it's been so long.
28:06
SPEAKER_04: So yeah.
28:07
SPEAKER_02: Well, I want to talk about this because I always like a good manifestation story.
28:12
SPEAKER_02: So I also loved I can you tell I'm a stalker?
28:15
SPEAKER_02: Ah it's just like nina nina nina na homework.
28:19
SPEAKER_02: Let's just call it that again job.
28:22
SPEAKER_02: Well, also, in truth, it was the timing of trying to get in touch with you.
28:27
SPEAKER_02: You yeah, so and you did the most amazing thing, and I'm totally gonna do this with my family, but you went to Was it California or Disneyland?
28:34
SPEAKER_04: No, we went to Orlando, Orlando Disney World.
28:37
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, actually, it's funny you were mentioning the uh entrepreneur spirit.
28:41
SPEAKER_04: We we had the girls host their first art show to raise money for like pocket money for Disney so that way, yeah, so that they could that's so cute.
28:51
SPEAKER_04: Um, yeah, like learn how the process of how hard it is to make money and then make their own money and then be able to like spend their own money.
28:57
SPEAKER_04: And they made like these little polymer clay figurines, and they had people show up and like support their art.
29:02
SPEAKER_04: And I'm not, and it was it was so great because so many people showed up the whole course and just like celebrated them.
29:11
SPEAKER_04: It was really cool.
29:12
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I love that.
29:14
SPEAKER_04: And they're so talented.
29:15
SPEAKER_04: I was like, oh my gosh, you guys, some of the little things like little dragons and like moons with crystals and little pizzas, and I was like, This is crazy.
29:22
SPEAKER_02: That is so cute.
29:23
SPEAKER_02: And you're like, I have no idea where you know, like these things they come about at audio, like I have nothing to do with this.
29:31
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
29:33
SPEAKER_02: That's wonderful, but that's again that modeling, right?
29:35
SPEAKER_02: Like to see if you ever have moments, am I doing the right thing because I'm so busy and this and that.
29:40
SPEAKER_02: And then I look at my kids, I'm like, are they they're absorbing, they're watching you, they're watching you.
29:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
29:46
SPEAKER_02: No, this is more for me.
29:47
SPEAKER_04: I'm just taking, I'm just putting it in my pocket because the same.
29:51
SPEAKER_04: Like the things that you're sharing.
29:52
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I want to learn you do a lot.
29:54
SPEAKER_02: Like, I want to learn.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: I want to learn to give myself grace and to be okay with wanting to be an entrepreneur.
30:01
SPEAKER_02: There's times where you want to throw in the towel.
30:03
SPEAKER_04: I don't know, but you do it's a journey, always, yeah.
30:06
SPEAKER_04: There's like two moments where you're like, this is crazy.
30:08
SPEAKER_04: What am I doing?
30:09
SPEAKER_04: And then there are moments where you're like, I'm on top of the world.
30:12
SPEAKER_04: Ever this is everything I've ever dreamed of.
30:14
SPEAKER_04: Like, I remember sitting and being like, I wish to have a family one day.
30:17
SPEAKER_04: I wish to like be doing this full time.
30:19
SPEAKER_04: And yeah, it's the ups and downs of ups and downs, ebbs and flows.
30:23
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely, yeah.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: But to be able to encapsulate it into that moment of them selling their self-they have to tell me, did they value the money after that so much that when they went to Disney World, were they like, oh, I'm not gonna spend it?
30:37
SPEAKER_02: That was a lot.
30:38
SPEAKER_02: That was that took a lot of work for that, you know, that little pizza I made.
30:44
SPEAKER_04: It was a bit of both, actually.
30:45
SPEAKER_04: I was pretty proud of them because they they were very conscious.
30:48
SPEAKER_04: My one daughter, she loves dragons, loves, loves, loves.
30:51
SPEAKER_04: I mean, she has a bearded dragon, she just like loves lizards and all the things.
30:55
SPEAKER_02: You had to tell me what the bearded dragon's name is.
30:57
SPEAKER_02: Tiger.
30:57
SPEAKER_04: Tiger, tiger, the bearded dragon.
31:00
SPEAKER_04: That's amazing.
31:00
SPEAKER_04: It's pretty cool.
31:01
SPEAKER_04: I really like it.
31:02
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I love it.
31:03
SPEAKER_04: Um, but yeah, so I think she went in and out of that gift shop, I don't know how many times, just trying to decide if she was gonna get this or that, and she really put a lot of thought into it.
31:13
SPEAKER_04: And then my other daughter, she ended up buying keychains for all of her friends as like her first things that she bought.
31:18
SPEAKER_04: So, like, they definitely did put a lot of thought and care into it.
31:22
SPEAKER_02: They did.
31:22
SPEAKER_04: They did, they did also come home with suitcases full of stuffies.
31:26
unknown: Of course.
31:28
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, absolutely.
31:29
SPEAKER_04: I mean, let them be kids.
31:30
SPEAKER_04: Let them be kids.
31:31
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but it was it was pretty funny.
31:33
SPEAKER_02: But at least you know it's like their that it was their money.
31:35
SPEAKER_04: Like, you know what I mean?
31:36
SPEAKER_04: That's too funny.
31:37
SPEAKER_04: I was like, we can't say no, like you guys earn this.
31:39
SPEAKER_04: And I was like, I want them to have that moment where it's like theirs, you know, like not ours, but like they earned it, they get to spend it, how they choose.
31:46
SPEAKER_04: We can't say no.
31:47
SPEAKER_04: That that just that freedom and that independence, right?
31:50
SPEAKER_02: I there's so much learning there.
31:52
SPEAKER_02: This is rich learning.
31:53
SPEAKER_02: This is already homeschooling.
31:55
SPEAKER_02: What are you talking about?
31:55
SPEAKER_02: You want to homeschool?
31:56
SPEAKER_02: We're just trying our best.
31:57
SPEAKER_02: Well, you're doing it, girl.
31:58
SPEAKER_02: You're doing it.
31:59
SPEAKER_02: Well, I we just ended our homeschool journey and I'm doing it.
32:02
SPEAKER_02: I was so, so hung up on like, okay, now you're gonna sit down on a desk and you're gonna here's a table.
32:07
SPEAKER_04: Well, that's what we're taught, right?
32:09
SPEAKER_04: That's so that's what we think like education is, and then we start to like travel and we realize that there's so many different rich forms of of learning.
32:18
SPEAKER_04: Just life, right?
32:19
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
32:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think those are the most powerful gifts that we can give our kids is totally is opportunities to emulate the things that are important for us.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: I wish I had this kind of like I'm not my parents did the best they could.
32:32
SPEAKER_04: For sure.
32:33
SPEAKER_02: But they were really busy hustling at work and they I couldn't see them.
32:36
SPEAKER_02: And and I and and and often, I mean, I'm not a full latchkey kid, but like I'm in the generation where we really had to raise ourselves a lot of times.
32:45
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
32:45
SPEAKER_02: And then when we're together, we spent it eating and being together with our relatives and cousins and stuff.
32:50
SPEAKER_02: So it was it was very family-based, but I always thought this is how it looks like, and then so then I have this mom guilt that I am not like I don't love cooking.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: Let's just keep it.
32:59
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I hate it.
33:00
SPEAKER_04: I mean, let's be real.
33:02
SPEAKER_04: Again, we're talking about ADHD brains.
33:04
SPEAKER_04: I can't make multiple dishes without burning one.
33:07
SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh, that's what I do.
33:09
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's hit or miss.
33:10
SPEAKER_04: It's either I'll have like the music playing and dancing and like really loving it and like chopping up all the fresh herbs and it's great, or I'm like, I despise this.
33:19
SPEAKER_04: I hate it so much.
33:20
SPEAKER_02: What did I get myself into?
33:21
SPEAKER_04: And usually it's the second.
33:24
SPEAKER_04: I love that you are my people.
33:25
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
33:26
SPEAKER_04: We can hate cooking together.
33:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we can hate cooking together and not feel guilty about it.
33:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
33:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think that's part of it when we think of modern motherhood.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't shock me that because you are carrying so much of a load, career-wise, and wanting, like actually having the desire to be a connected mom.
33:42
SPEAKER_02: How do you have room to be Betty Crocker?
33:44
SPEAKER_04: How do you have room to be like your sacrifices?
33:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, choose your battles.
33:48
SPEAKER_02: And I'm glad you chose yours.
33:49
SPEAKER_02: We can just burn our food together.
33:51
SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
33:51
SPEAKER_02: Or you can order out.
33:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
33:53
SPEAKER_04: I mean, uh skip the dishes is not my friend.
33:56
SPEAKER_04: Oh, it's it's not oh, it is your friend.
33:58
SPEAKER_04: It is my friend, but much your friend.
34:00
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
34:00
SPEAKER_04: That influence.
34:01
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, luckily though, like my hubby's pretty awesome.
34:03
SPEAKER_04: He's he's definitely a lot of help around the his OCD, is my friend when it comes to stuff like that.
34:08
SPEAKER_04: And he likes to cook and stuff.
34:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that's a good balance.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: I think it's really important to be able to see that too.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: Because they say like-minded people attract each other from the same kind of teams.
34:18
SPEAKER_02: So, like that, I think that's why we're like, you're my people.
34:20
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
34:21
SPEAKER_04: I think we'd be terrible married because we'd be just like, let's be burning food left and right, and we'd be dying all of these ideas and we'd never finish our thoughts.
34:30
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
34:30
SPEAKER_04: And then we'd be talking all these deep conversations just to puddle on the floor.
34:34
SPEAKER_04: Just be crying all the gym piles everywhere.
34:36
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, the gym piles.
34:38
SPEAKER_02: This is too much.
34:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:40
SPEAKER_02: And our poor kids, they'd be like, Are we gonna eat now?
34:43
SPEAKER_02: Or pizza, sorry.
34:45
SPEAKER_04: I love you.
34:45
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
34:46
SPEAKER_04: But they'd be really good entrepreneurs.
34:49
SPEAKER_04: They'd be great, they'd be artists.
34:51
SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's what I mean.
34:52
SPEAKER_04: There's the other half of that dream where I'm like, I wish I could make home cooked meals every night, like from scratch.
34:57
SPEAKER_02: I admire that.
34:58
SPEAKER_02: I do too.
35:00
SPEAKER_02: But I mean, that's the beauty of, and let me ask you some tools because I this is also part of the question here is is what are some of the tools that make things work?
35:08
SPEAKER_02: And I actually had a friend who just didn't understand the beauty of Instacart, didn't understand the beauty of using, yeah.
35:16
SPEAKER_02: And groceries, yeah, and they were talking about another situation, and and it it came from a place of like not really getting that.
35:23
SPEAKER_02: Like, just go to the store.
35:24
SPEAKER_02: And in my of course, my RSD, my my rejection sensitive dysphoria.
35:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, don't tell friend about Instacart that I do it.
35:34
SPEAKER_02: I think those are the remedies to a very packed day.
35:38
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes if you can just order online pickup at the curb side, that's what these things are for.
35:44
SPEAKER_02: That's part of the modern motherhood.
35:46
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, those are like the tools in your tool.
35:47
SPEAKER_04: But the amount of times that I've ordered birthday presents before birthday parties, as I'm getting my kids ready and doing their hair, and then the birthday present shows up at the door, and I'm like, thank God for Uber Eats.
35:58
SPEAKER_04: Thank God.
35:59
SPEAKER_04: Because it just like saves us all so much dysregulation, too.
36:02
SPEAKER_04: Like the panic of rushing through the Walmart.
36:04
SPEAKER_04: I wish that I was like a week before prep mom.
36:06
SPEAKER_04: Like, we'll go get the present.
36:08
SPEAKER_04: That's not me.
36:08
SPEAKER_04: I don't think about it till like the day before.
36:10
SPEAKER_04: And sometimes if I can, but I honestly get so overwhelmed grocery shopping.
36:15
SPEAKER_04: I end up buying so many things I don't need.
36:16
SPEAKER_04: Me too.
36:17
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, oh, this looks fun.
36:18
SPEAKER_04: And then I've got a cart full of not necessities.
36:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm the mom that has the cart, the cart.
36:23
SPEAKER_02: So it's like this is a big gigantic hill.
36:25
SPEAKER_02: Not allowed to go to Costco by myself because there's too many fun things.
36:28
SPEAKER_03: Me neither.
36:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I love that we're restrictive equally.
36:32
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
36:32
SPEAKER_02: We could go on a Costco day.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we'll go into Costco.
36:35
SPEAKER_02: That's the thing with Costco, though.
36:36
SPEAKER_02: But they do have the insta.
36:37
SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
36:37
SPEAKER_02: So let me tell you my little secret.
36:39
SPEAKER_02: This is a locally reflective show, so I can talk about this.
36:42
SPEAKER_02: What I do.
36:43
SPEAKER_02: I Instacart Costco.
36:44
SPEAKER_02: I look at the price of the driver fee and all that.
36:48
SPEAKER_02: That to me is my piece.
36:50
SPEAKER_02: The finding of the parking, having to navigate.
36:53
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so there's my Instacart.
36:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:55
SPEAKER_02: But then when you go to Superstore, you go to Walmart, you go to other places where you can order online just to pick up the curbside.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: These are my little I like that.
37:02
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
37:03
SPEAKER_04: I don't really have a village.
37:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't have a village yet.
37:06
SPEAKER_02: I do have a wonderful village, but they I have a wonderful village.
37:09
SPEAKER_02: I just, they're not gonna do my grocery shop.
37:11
SPEAKER_02: They're not gonna do my admin work.
37:12
SPEAKER_02: They're not gonna do my, you know, social media.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: I have to.
37:14
SPEAKER_02: So my time.
37:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm pretending I wish I did.
37:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm pretending that's that's a thing.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: That's a dream.
37:25
SPEAKER_02: But because you have someone who can respond to your emails and someone who can make decisions with you and do some of the editing for you, that relieves some of the time to be able to create and do that.
37:37
SPEAKER_02: Well, if I'm doing all the things because in my head, I'm just I'm starting things.
37:40
SPEAKER_02: I feel like I'm just starting the dream right now.
37:42
SPEAKER_02: And I've got, I'm so blessed to have this wonderful platform where I can have this podcast doing it.
37:47
SPEAKER_02: And I'm working really hard, but then humbly, I have to kind of go, well, I'm gonna pick and choose.
37:51
SPEAKER_02: I guess I'm not gonna get the freshest vegetables.
37:53
SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm gonna have to, you know, trust my my Instacart, aka my personal grocery shopper.
38:01
SPEAKER_04: I remember just even bringing Sarah on for emails for free to every email and be like, does this sound like my voice?
38:06
SPEAKER_04: And and really make sure that it's still part of me because communication, just all those things.
38:11
SPEAKER_04: I still do all of my editing, but I do have somebody that calls now will go from like 8,000 images and narrow it down to a thousand, just so it's like a little less overwhelming.
38:19
SPEAKER_04: That's that's huge.
38:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it saves my sanity for sure.
38:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's what my upload is too much.
38:24
SPEAKER_02: My husband was telling me about that.
38:26
SPEAKER_02: He's an illustrator, there's the concept artist or the cleanup artist.
38:29
SPEAKER_02: That's whoa, a person that just kind of like comes through the like does the thing so that the creator can work on the final product.
38:35
SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of the same thing.
38:36
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
38:37
SPEAKER_04: It took me a long time to get there though.
38:38
SPEAKER_04: The delegation and letting go, and also, like you said, like asking for help is yeah, and when you do, you're like, Oh, it was always meant to be like this.
38:46
SPEAKER_02: Like it feels good, yeah.
38:47
SPEAKER_02: It does.
38:47
SPEAKER_02: It feels good to have this and to to entrust and to build that team too.
38:51
SPEAKER_02: You gotta find the right people for sure.
38:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like it took me until a couple years ago till we started to build a team.
38:57
SPEAKER_04: Learning to delegate, prioritizing, finding that team and not feeling any guilt about it.
39:01
SPEAKER_04: Because I would be like, I'm supposed to do all the things.
39:04
SPEAKER_04: Nobody's supposed to do that many things.
39:06
SPEAKER_02: No, it's too many things.
39:08
SPEAKER_02: We're giving permission, our wonderful Esther, who is here today.
39:11
SPEAKER_02: She's my friend, a really dear friend.
39:13
SPEAKER_02: And I had told her, no, I I kind of need a wifey today because hubs usually comes, my husband usually comes and he's the one who helps.
39:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, but he doesn't fluff hair and he doesn't put the hairs down.
39:25
SPEAKER_02: No offense, George.
39:26
SPEAKER_02: I love you.
39:27
SPEAKER_02: But he covers all the other things.
39:29
SPEAKER_02: And I know I kind of took for granted how lucky I am to have my husband be able to do that.
39:34
SPEAKER_02: But he can't always do that.
39:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:35
SPEAKER_02: So then after I had to think about it, I'm like, who could I ask to just kind of be my support system?
39:41
SPEAKER_02: And when I presented this to Esther, she had said yes before I even finished my sentence.
39:45
SPEAKER_02: But it was in my head, I was just like, I just need emotional support.
39:48
SPEAKER_02: I just don't want to do this by myself.
39:49
SPEAKER_02: I like it's nice to have.
39:50
SPEAKER_02: And it turns out, like, she just sewed a button on my pants.
39:54
SPEAKER_02: She was able to, and just seconds ago, she's like fixed my hair.
39:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:59
SPEAKER_02: And I think that we should be okay with asking for help.
40:02
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
40:02
SPEAKER_02: And we we often have a hard time with that.
40:05
SPEAKER_02: But then once we do, doesn't it feel great?
40:06
SPEAKER_04: It brings us closer together.
40:08
SPEAKER_04: We're all just humans trying to do our best.
40:11
SPEAKER_04: And I think that hyperindependence actually creates separation.
40:15
SPEAKER_02: Does it ever?
40:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
40:16
SPEAKER_04: I'm not saying we need to be like codependent and be like, I need you to live, but linking arms all the time.
40:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
40:21
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
40:22
SPEAKER_04: It's nice to bond.
40:23
SPEAKER_04: We can lean on each other, lifting each other up.
40:25
SPEAKER_04: As women, we can help each other achieve those goals by by lifting each other up, even if it's just sewing buttons.
40:32
SPEAKER_02: Let me introduce to you the girl, the girl's girl, the ultimate girl's girl.
40:36
SPEAKER_02: If you've always been like you're like this online, you're like this in person, it's true.
40:38
SPEAKER_02: It's really, we should figuratively link arms and literally link arms and say, Hey, I I'm gonna lift you up today.
40:44
SPEAKER_04: We're supposed to be like a tribe.
40:45
SPEAKER_04: Like we're gonna be like, yeah, having each other's backs.
40:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
40:50
SPEAKER_02: And in a world where there's just there's just this feeling of imposter syndrome.
40:54
SPEAKER_02: I I'm not good enough.
40:56
SPEAKER_02: Always.
40:56
SPEAKER_02: So do you ever have those moments?
40:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
40:59
SPEAKER_04: Even with this interview, I was trying the show.
41:03
SPEAKER_02: What are we talking about?
41:04
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
41:05
SPEAKER_04: It's like a lot of building, just yeah, talking to myself in my head and being like, you can do it.
41:09
SPEAKER_04: And then of course I get here, we're just hanging out as like two friends, and you make it so easy and comfortable.
41:14
SPEAKER_04: The imposter syndrome is real.
41:16
SPEAKER_04: I've been telling myself we're gonna create online courses for a year now, and I seem to find every reason is to be like, we're not quite ready.
41:24
SPEAKER_04: And then somebody will be like, What are you talking about?
41:26
SPEAKER_04: Like, you have so much information to give too.
41:28
SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, Oh, okay.
41:30
SPEAKER_04: And so it's the ebb and flows, right?
41:32
SPEAKER_04: It's just the mental state of just getting yourself uncomfortable and then showing yourself you can do the hard things.
41:37
SPEAKER_04: I remember I held a workshop for photographers.
41:39
SPEAKER_04: I think I got like two hours of sleep because I was so nervous.
41:41
SPEAKER_04: And then I did it, and it was incredible.
41:43
SPEAKER_02: I love this, like incredibly fulfilling, yeah.
41:45
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
41:46
SPEAKER_04: And it just like relit a whole other fire for helping other people achieve their dreams and being that person that was in their shoes at one point.
41:54
SPEAKER_02: So it's just so you are tapping into 18-year-old Nina.
41:58
SPEAKER_02: I wish I had this mentorship program, or you probably did throughout your career, of course, have people that inspired you.
42:06
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was different then.
42:07
SPEAKER_04: I feel like now there's a lot more access, social media and stuff.
42:11
SPEAKER_04: There's so much ability to just go after what you're wanting and so much more connection in terms of entrepreneurs and being able to reach out and pay.
42:18
SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm just starting out.
42:20
SPEAKER_04: There there wasn't that back then.
42:21
SPEAKER_04: So you kind of had to really just yeah, figure it out and kind of go from there.
42:26
SPEAKER_02: I love that too, is it is that we're using social media for good.
42:29
SPEAKER_02: And this is what I always want to teach my kids.
42:31
SPEAKER_02: Like they call it the food groups of digital media, and as we use it to build our businesses so that we can protect our again.
42:40
SPEAKER_02: I have a lot of guilt.
42:41
SPEAKER_02: Like I, you know, in the past I shared so much more of my children.
42:44
SPEAKER_02: Then I realized I did too.
42:45
SPEAKER_02: We all did, we tried it, we dabbled, and well, that was life.
42:48
SPEAKER_04: Motherhood was everything.
42:49
SPEAKER_04: We're just sharing.
42:50
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to share it.
42:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it gets to this point.
42:53
SPEAKER_02: I wonder what I'm trying to do.
42:54
SPEAKER_02: So what I did was I crossed over into that's why we call it Sass and Smalls.
42:59
SPEAKER_02: My brand is actually Sass and Smalls.
43:01
SPEAKER_02: And the reason why is because my life is about trying to get my sass back.
43:04
SPEAKER_02: How do I do that?
43:04
SPEAKER_02: But more importantly, I'm raising these smalls.
43:07
SPEAKER_02: I want to call them my little smallies, but like one's taller than me, but whatever.
43:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're still calling my smallly.
43:12
SPEAKER_02: And these smalls have inspired me to get another version of myself.
43:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:17
SPEAKER_02: A new sass.
43:18
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
43:19
SPEAKER_02: And I think I think it's really important that we nurture that in front of our kids so they can see.
43:24
SPEAKER_02: Motherhood is not just about exhaustion and service and that yes, it's service, of course.
43:29
SPEAKER_02: And loving and all that stuff, but it's also about loving yourself too.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
43:33
SPEAKER_02: And I want my kids, especially my daughter, well, both of them, but especially my daughter, to know it is okay to love yourself enough to do your passion, follow your dreams, and it's gonna be hard.
43:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
43:44
SPEAKER_02: But it's gonna feel so good.
43:46
SPEAKER_04: Totally, yeah.
43:47
SPEAKER_02: And that like that ability to be able to show that to your daughters.
43:50
SPEAKER_02: And I can't wait to show this episode to my kids.
43:53
SPEAKER_04: I can't wait.
43:54
SPEAKER_04: Before I forget, you're talking about the getting your sauce back.
43:57
SPEAKER_04: Have you ever heard the get your pink back, the flamingo?
44:00
SPEAKER_04: Term?
44:00
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
44:01
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
44:01
SPEAKER_04: And when you said that, it's a little bit more.
44:02
SPEAKER_04: Thank you for saying that.
44:04
SPEAKER_04: Because that's exactly what it is.
44:05
SPEAKER_04: Lamangos are pink because of the shrimp that they eat, right?
44:08
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that aspect I didn't know.
44:09
SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
44:09
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is new.
44:10
SPEAKER_04: Okay, tell me about the shrimp.
44:11
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, okay.
44:12
SPEAKER_04: So they they get that pink glow from the type of shrimp that they eat.
44:16
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
44:16
SPEAKER_04: And when they have babies, they actually lose a lot of their pink.
44:20
SPEAKER_04: They dull their pink a bit because they end up giving a lot of the shrimp that they catch to their babies to help them thrive.
44:27
SPEAKER_04: So they give a lot of their glow to their babies when they're little, but then as they get older, they get their pink back.
44:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, they do get their pink.
44:34
SPEAKER_04: The mamas do get their pink back after, but they just they give a little bit of it for a short period of time to their babies so that their babies can thrive and then they get it back.
44:42
SPEAKER_04: So when you said get my sass back, I immediately thought of that.
44:45
SPEAKER_02: That's so funny.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: So just not too long ago, I'm a caregiver to my mom and my dad.
44:50
SPEAKER_02: And my mom had a really bad fall.
44:52
SPEAKER_02: And it was it comes full circle because it happened just as I was starting season one.
44:56
SPEAKER_02: It kind of catapulted my theme of burnout last year because I had to kind of let go of my expectations of being a very, very present homeschooling mom.
45:04
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
45:05
SPEAKER_02: I had to let go.
45:05
SPEAKER_02: I literally had to walk away from my family for just a short amount of time.
45:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry to help take care of my mom.
45:10
SPEAKER_02: She hated that too.
45:11
SPEAKER_02: She didn't want that for herself or for us.
45:13
SPEAKER_02: And when she recovered, she recovered so quickly.
45:16
SPEAKER_02: It was just a miracle.
45:17
SPEAKER_02: I just couldn't believe it.
45:18
SPEAKER_02: I put a post up about I was just returning all her equipment that we rented, like so that she could, you know, all the accommodations.
45:24
SPEAKER_02: We were returning it, and there was this beautiful audio about the pink flamingo caregiver.
45:30
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
45:30
SPEAKER_02: Her mother.
45:31
SPEAKER_02: They lose their pink.
45:32
SPEAKER_02: And that's why you'll notice that it didn't even finish off.
45:35
SPEAKER_02: It just got part of the meme.
45:37
SPEAKER_02: So this is why I didn't know about the shrimp.
45:39
SPEAKER_04: Oh I'm so glad we understand where it comes from.
45:42
SPEAKER_04: Fun fact.
45:42
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, fun fact.
45:44
SPEAKER_02: Shrimp.
45:44
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
45:45
SPEAKER_02: I wrote my mom and I are both getting our pink back.
45:48
SPEAKER_02: Because we are now we had to go through this temporary phase of giving.
45:51
SPEAKER_02: She had to surrender herself to me and allow me to physically truly participate in caring for her.
45:57
SPEAKER_02: And I lost my pink.
45:59
SPEAKER_02: And I I have pictures of myself in that era where I was so burnt out.
46:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:03
SPEAKER_02: It was no fault of anybody.
46:05
SPEAKER_02: No.
46:05
SPEAKER_02: I wish I knew back then that it was temporary.
46:08
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
46:08
SPEAKER_02: Because once I got to the point where it feels like you're drowning, right?
46:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:12
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's how motherhood is and caregiving when it gets rough, especially with neurodemctions.
46:16
SPEAKER_02: And I love that you brought that.
46:18
SPEAKER_02: That's a really nice way to put everything together.
46:21
SPEAKER_02: It really is.
46:21
SPEAKER_02: Like we're just constantly trying to get our pink back, but then it's somehow there's a season where we lose our pink.
46:27
unknown: Yes.
46:27
SPEAKER_02: And then you end up getting it back as you flourish.
46:31
SPEAKER_02: How do we flourish in this case?
46:33
SPEAKER_02: You flourish by finding where you get your pink back yourself.
46:37
SPEAKER_04: Totally.
46:37
SPEAKER_04: I like to think that it comes back brighter.
46:39
SPEAKER_02: It sure does.
46:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like I like to think that we think we're pink before, but then after we become mothers beyond pink.
46:46
SPEAKER_04: 100%.
46:46
SPEAKER_04: We really get to see like all that we're capable of.
46:49
SPEAKER_04: Motherhood breaks us open and lets all the light shine in the places we didn't know we needed it.
46:53
SPEAKER_04: Like we just continually expand, and the hard is hard, but the good is so, so good.
47:00
SPEAKER_02: Like so worth every ounce of hard.
47:02
SPEAKER_02: So I love hearing this.
47:04
SPEAKER_02: I think it's really important for us to remember that you know everything is temporary, and and when we get through these seasons, yeah.
47:11
SPEAKER_02: I just went through a season and I hence the loss of voice.
47:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm just wanted to warn you there.
47:15
SPEAKER_02: I should have said that.
47:16
SPEAKER_02: No, you're killing it.
47:17
SPEAKER_02: But so I'm gonna ask you, you know, after talking about all these wonderful things, and I'm gonna tell you, I went off script.
47:23
SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you.
47:23
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
47:24
SPEAKER_02: All these questions of like, tell me about Vogue, tell me about this, and well, actually, before we go to that, you have to tell me.
47:31
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we do have to revisit this thing.
47:33
SPEAKER_02: So you really were a teen that looked at this, and you're like, I want to be in Vogue or do something for Vogue.
47:39
SPEAKER_02: And then it just that must have felt so good, that full circle moment.
47:43
SPEAKER_04: It was pretty crazy.
47:45
SPEAKER_04: I remember getting the email from them and saying we want to feature your business.
47:48
SPEAKER_04: And I was like, I thought it was a scam at first.
47:50
SPEAKER_04: I was like, this isn't real, and then we looked into it and we're like, oh no, it actually is.
47:55
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
47:57
SPEAKER_04: They found you, yeah.
47:58
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they sent us an email, and yeah, it was cool.
48:01
SPEAKER_04: So we've we've had three issues that our business was featured in.
48:04
SPEAKER_04: One was a photo, and then the other two were like uh business features, like small, yeah, but incredible.
48:09
SPEAKER_04: Just the fact, yeah, it was it was pretty cool.
48:11
SPEAKER_02: So how was that moment to show the to your girls, to your family to be as it was surreal?
48:17
SPEAKER_04: I mean, like, I feel like it all feels surreal.
48:19
SPEAKER_04: I remember when we took home the uh BC Wedding Awards walking across the stage.
48:24
SPEAKER_04: The whole time I walked across the stage, I was going like this, and then afterwards, I don't even remember what I said.
48:29
SPEAKER_04: Afterwards, I left.
48:30
SPEAKER_04: And I don't know if you do this as a again, neurodivergent person, but what's the next thing?
48:35
SPEAKER_04: And then you're like, forget to celebrate.
48:37
SPEAKER_04: And so, like, I'm really trying to make a conscious effort of celebrating the moments because I once dreamed of this.
48:44
SPEAKER_04: Let's not just rush past it.
48:46
SPEAKER_04: The next goal, let's sit with it.
48:48
SPEAKER_02: It's crazy because you you were very specific to having these vogue magazines while you kept looking at it and then they found you.
48:56
SPEAKER_02: That's incredible.
48:57
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was pretty cool.
48:58
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it was definitely one of those moments where you're like, whoa, this is this is what I used to dream of.
49:04
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and it's incredible.
49:06
SPEAKER_02: So now I'm wondering if this is even a question I should ask at this point, but kind of answer that there.
49:11
SPEAKER_02: But if you were to bottle up a thought, emotion, sentiment, or moment that sums up motherhood for you, what would that be?
49:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, loaded question.
49:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's it's hard because motherhood for me is all of the little moments combined.
49:29
SPEAKER_04: Like, I don't think that there's like one moment that I could just pick because it's all every single little moment has shaped who I am as a mom, right?
49:38
SPEAKER_04: Like you just like becoming a mom.
49:40
SPEAKER_04: I can't even talk about it without crying because it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
49:44
SPEAKER_04: But yeah, like I don't think I could, I don't think I could sum it up because I ask it.
49:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, this is how dare I ask you.
49:53
SPEAKER_04: But yeah, like it's it's truly the best thing I ever did with my life.
49:57
SPEAKER_04: I don't think that there's any other purpose that I could have on this earth that would even come close, right?
50:02
SPEAKER_04: So yeah.
50:03
SPEAKER_00: The love.
50:04
SPEAKER_02: And you can see it because you you really you chose to find a way to bring your children into the heart of your business.
50:15
SPEAKER_02: That's probably why your business is fulfilling you, because there's really no separation if you think about it.
50:24
SPEAKER_02: You know your why so clear.
50:25
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that.
50:27
SPEAKER_02: I love that you just rejected my question for one moment.
50:30
SPEAKER_02: It came up with millions of moments.
50:32
SPEAKER_02: I love it so much.
50:34
SPEAKER_02: That's I think that's important.
50:35
SPEAKER_02: You can have tons and tons of moments, put it all into one moment, and that's just you know, I just had my cousin here, and we were talking about what's a moment, and I asked her like a moment, and then she said it's not a moment, it's it's a feeling, and she said gratitude.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
50:48
SPEAKER_04: It's really is gratitude.
50:49
SPEAKER_04: That's her.
50:50
SPEAKER_02: I feel like that goes for you as well.
50:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's gratitude.
50:53
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely, not a moment, but a feeling.
50:55
SPEAKER_02: It's a feeling, an emotion, and like I I see the gratitude you're in your eyes.
50:59
SPEAKER_02: Like, you're just like, there's nothing more fulfilling for me than to yeah, no, it's the coolest thing ever.
51:04
SPEAKER_04: As far as I'm concerned, not the luckiest person in the world.
51:07
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, that's they're pretty awesome.
51:08
SPEAKER_04: So my gosh, I love that.
51:11
SPEAKER_04: That's well, but soon the show.
51:13
SPEAKER_02: All right, so now we're gonna do one last thing.
51:14
SPEAKER_02: It's called the fast realm.
51:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
51:16
SPEAKER_02: Spill the sass because you're gonna tell us nice and fast, quick answer, first thing that comes to mind.
51:21
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
51:22
SPEAKER_02: All right, are you ready?
51:23
SPEAKER_02: Have we wiped our tears?
51:24
SPEAKER_02: Are we good?
51:24
SPEAKER_02: I think so.
51:25
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
51:26
SPEAKER_02: You got me there, girl.
51:27
SPEAKER_02: You got me there.
51:27
SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
51:28
SPEAKER_02: All right, are you ready?
51:29
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
51:30
SPEAKER_02: One word, you already said this, but we'll say it again.
51:33
SPEAKER_02: One word to describe your parenting style right now.
51:36
SPEAKER_04: Connected.
51:37
SPEAKER_02: Connected.
51:38
SPEAKER_02: A creative parenting hack that saves your sanity.
51:42
SPEAKER_04: Ooh, I would have to say the little activity bags that I put together.
51:49
SPEAKER_04: It's so random.
51:50
SPEAKER_04: Like we have like little sensory bags with like fun activities.
51:53
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
51:54
SPEAKER_04: Created it though.
51:55
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
51:55
SPEAKER_04: You just make little bins and things like that that you just pull out and yeah.
52:00
SPEAKER_02: You're my people.
52:01
SPEAKER_04: I'm telling you.
52:02
SPEAKER_04: We're gonna be best friends with it.
52:03
SPEAKER_02: I love this.
52:05
SPEAKER_02: I love this.
52:06
SPEAKER_02: Okay, one thing you're okay to let go of.
52:09
SPEAKER_02: As a parent.
52:11
SPEAKER_02: Control.
52:13
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
52:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
52:14
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
52:15
SPEAKER_04: That was like the yeah, I could dive into that.
52:18
SPEAKER_02: But that's a whole other podcast episode.
52:20
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
52:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, over control for sure.
52:24
SPEAKER_02: There's a lot.
52:24
SPEAKER_02: That's a that's a contrast.
52:26
SPEAKER_02: I feel you too.
52:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
52:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh, there's lots of control, even just within myself.
52:30
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, oh, totally.
52:31
SPEAKER_04: It's the safety thing, right?
52:32
SPEAKER_04: We want to control everything.
52:33
SPEAKER_04: The more that we try to control, the less room there is for connection.
52:36
SPEAKER_04: Oh gosh.
52:38
SPEAKER_04: Helping guide them, feel like a much better approach.
52:40
SPEAKER_04: But I mean, yeah.
52:41
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
52:42
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so letting go of control.
52:44
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
52:44
SPEAKER_02: You're on an island and a non-Victoria Island.
52:49
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
52:50
SPEAKER_02: Scenario with your hubby, your kids, and let's throw some village in there.
52:55
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
52:56
SPEAKER_02: You got some Sarah, you got some Taylor, you got some Rowena, you got your friends, you got Beck.
53:00
SPEAKER_02: Is it Beck?
53:01
SPEAKER_02: Becky?
53:01
SPEAKER_02: Beck.
53:01
SPEAKER_02: Beck's.
53:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
53:02
SPEAKER_02: We gotta meet Beck's.
53:04
SPEAKER_02: You got all your team players there.
53:06
SPEAKER_02: Island's beautiful.
53:07
SPEAKER_02: Picturesque, actually.
53:09
SPEAKER_02: You can only bring one thing.
53:11
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
53:12
SPEAKER_02: Do you bring in your go-to bag your most cherished and high-tech camera with a highest quality lens or something else that would be more enjoyed by the majority?
53:22
SPEAKER_04: Probably definitely not my camera.
53:24
SPEAKER_04: Not just crazy.
53:26
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
53:26
SPEAKER_04: If I was going to an island to show here, stop it.
53:30
SPEAKER_04: I love what I do.
53:31
SPEAKER_04: I really, really do.
53:33
SPEAKER_04: If I had an island where I was surviving in other ways, I don't think a camera would be my first pick.
53:39
SPEAKER_04: Just simply because.
53:41
SPEAKER_04: Well, there's the approach of okay, are we stranded?
53:44
SPEAKER_04: I need to know.
53:46
SPEAKER_04: The logical part of my brain.
53:47
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, letting go of control.
53:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, wait, I need to know.
53:54
SPEAKER_02: We've got to tell details.
53:55
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
53:55
SPEAKER_02: Okay, you're stranded.
53:56
SPEAKER_02: You're stranded.
53:56
SPEAKER_02: You're you're kind of stranded.
53:57
SPEAKER_02: But in a good way.
53:58
SPEAKER_02: It's picturesque.
53:59
SPEAKER_02: It's pretty.
54:00
SPEAKER_02: Amazing.
54:00
SPEAKER_02: Amazing.
54:01
SPEAKER_02: You're you're stranded on a pretty island.
54:03
SPEAKER_04: I love it.
54:04
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, I wouldn't bring my camera.
54:05
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
54:06
SPEAKER_04: I I'm trying to push you to bring your camera because I'm like, it's pretty.
54:08
SPEAKER_02: I know.
54:09
SPEAKER_04: I know, but that's not gonna help me survive.
54:12
SPEAKER_02: Well, you're stranded.
54:13
SPEAKER_02: There is food available.
54:14
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
54:15
SPEAKER_02: Okay, let's let's just say there's food available, you're able to do it.
54:18
SPEAKER_02: But would you get something that you know that you can capture these memories with photos?
54:22
SPEAKER_02: Or something that or that your family can enjoy.
54:25
SPEAKER_02: It's not just the click of a button that you get to to touch, it's something that they all can enjoy.
54:32
SPEAKER_04: Definitely pick something from my family.
54:34
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, I like I said, I love what I do, and the whole memory aspect is amazing.
54:38
SPEAKER_04: But yeah, I I feel like it's if I'm stuck on an island with the people I love, I want to be present and hang out with them and do fun things.
54:45
SPEAKER_02: This is an easy cushion.
54:46
SPEAKER_02: What am I thinking?
54:47
SPEAKER_02: You love nature.
54:48
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's what I was like trying to say.
54:51
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I'm not gonna bring my camera.
54:53
SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, that sounds like I hate my job.
54:54
SPEAKER_04: I really love my job.
54:55
SPEAKER_04: But if I'm like on an island, I should have put you in another place.
54:59
SPEAKER_04: Why did I think of an island?
55:02
SPEAKER_04: Probably paddleboards.
55:03
SPEAKER_04: Like that would probably be what I bring.
55:05
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that wasn't the best question.
55:07
SPEAKER_04: I should have you're like, make it harder.
55:10
SPEAKER_04: Okay, I was like trying to think of how I was gonna word that.
55:12
SPEAKER_04: I was like, I'm not bringing my camera.
55:13
SPEAKER_04: I was like, oh wait, that sounds like I hate my camera.
55:15
SPEAKER_04: I love my camera, but I also really love the islands.
55:18
SPEAKER_04: Well, the beautiful thing is you can take the snapshot in your totally, yeah.
55:22
SPEAKER_04: And we forget that.
55:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just being present.
55:25
SPEAKER_02: That's part of the connective.
55:26
SPEAKER_02: So I just want to say thank you so much, Nina.
55:28
SPEAKER_02: I really admire you.
55:30
SPEAKER_02: You are loved by many.
55:31
SPEAKER_02: You are loved by many in our community, and you know, it wasn't very easy to logistically make this time for us to be together, and you made it happen.
55:38
SPEAKER_02: And I'm really grateful because I think it's really important that the creatives that we're surrounded by creatives all over this island to let them see that it is possible to achieve uh those goals, those personal goals while still uh loving your role as a mom.
55:56
SPEAKER_02: And I love that you are able to share actual facts about this.
56:01
SPEAKER_02: And the real, you know, evolution of it.
56:03
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't always like this, it wasn't that easy, and you made choices to shift.
56:07
SPEAKER_02: You know, to to make the shift and to pivot.
56:09
SPEAKER_02: So I'm very grateful to you.
56:10
SPEAKER_02: Let me ask you a question though.
56:12
SPEAKER_02: Do you have any last words of wisdom for someone who is trying to be, who has it in them to be creative, wants to make it work, but they're just I don't know.
56:20
SPEAKER_02: I I feel like I have to decide between two worlds.
56:23
SPEAKER_02: Do you have any wisdom, last words of wisdom that you can share?
56:26
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I would just say take the step.
56:30
SPEAKER_04: It doesn't even have to be a bungee to start with one step at a time.
56:34
SPEAKER_04: Like we all start somewhere.
56:35
SPEAKER_04: When I first started, I had a point and shoot camera.
56:37
SPEAKER_04: And if your heart loves it, like follow that, like listen to that voice.
56:41
SPEAKER_02: Listen to the voice.
56:42
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's a good way to intuition's there for reasons.
56:45
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
56:46
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
56:46
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
56:46
SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't, and that intuition doesn't need to be muted because you become a mom.
56:53
SPEAKER_04: Totally, yeah.
56:54
SPEAKER_04: And sometimes it whispers and sometimes it's loud.
56:57
SPEAKER_04: But yeah, at the end of the day, like if it's something that you love and something that you want to do, it will fall into place and you'll find a way to make it work.
57:03
SPEAKER_04: And it doesn't all have to happen at once, but if you just take the first step and you you deserve to do something that brings you joy.
57:11
SPEAKER_02: So this is where the let it flow comes into.
57:15
unknown: I love that.
57:17
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love that so much.
57:18
SPEAKER_02: Where can our uh viewers and listeners find you, Miss Nina?
57:22
SPEAKER_04: Oh, uh Instagram's always a great place.
57:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I find a lot of people find us through there.
57:26
SPEAKER_04: If I can remember it off the top of my head.
57:28
SPEAKER_04: So the name is of ocean and earth photography, but I think our handle is of period ocean, period, and period earth, period photo.
57:39
SPEAKER_04: It's really long.
57:41
SPEAKER_04: I love you.
57:42
SPEAKER_04: You're my people.
57:43
SPEAKER_03: This is too funny.
57:45
SPEAKER_03: You're so funny.
57:47
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, I love you so much.
57:49
SPEAKER_03: It's too funny.
57:50
SPEAKER_02: I love it so much.
57:51
SPEAKER_02: I I am so grateful to you for coming.
57:54
SPEAKER_02: So late.
57:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm honored.
57:56
SPEAKER_04: This was awesome.
57:57
SPEAKER_04: You make it easy, and you definitely are in your zone of genius.
58:00
SPEAKER_04: Like you can tell that this is where you're supposed to go.
58:03
SPEAKER_04: You have a way of making people feel comfortable and and yeah, just creating great conversations.
58:08
SPEAKER_04: All right, I just surrendered all my K-mex to Nina.
58:11
SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry, I can't give it back.
58:14
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, it was great.
58:15
SPEAKER_04: It was great to get to know you.
58:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm glad you you did something, you did the hard thing.
58:19
SPEAKER_02: So thank you for that.
58:20
SPEAKER_02: That's very inspiring, and I'm so grateful.
58:22
SPEAKER_02: I'm grateful.
58:22
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
58:23
SPEAKER_02: And for all you creative souls out there, you know, that need to find your creative footing in this world while maintaining your wonderful, beautiful, rewarding role of parenthood.
58:35
SPEAKER_02: It's a it's a gift to take that step.
58:37
SPEAKER_02: It really is a gift.
58:38
SPEAKER_02: So uh, you know, open that gift, right?
58:40
SPEAKER_02: Open that gift.
58:41
SPEAKER_02: You never know what you'll find.
58:42
SPEAKER_02: That really, we do see you, we hear you.
58:45
SPEAKER_02: We are here to uh encourage other creative moms to listen to that intuition.
58:50
SPEAKER_02: With that said, uh thank you for joining us here on Sass and Small Talk because it takes a village to raise a child and a community to raise their parent.
59:00
SPEAKER_02: We'll see you on the next episode of Sass and Small Talk.
59:04
SPEAKER_02: Bye.
59:07
SPEAKER_02: Get out of my house.
59:10
unknown: I love you.
59:12
SPEAKER_04: That was awesome.
59:15
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I could cry.
59:20
unknown: I needed you hard.
59:22
SPEAKER_04: You made it easier.
59:24
SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
59:32
SPEAKER_01: I need my father.